Mad Scientist

This is my version. Cheap as hell, yes. ***** “We're back at ringside for a return match for a huge main event a few months back – Michael Alexander against Va'aiga!” Mak Francis announces. “This promises to be a great match, King!” King basks warmly in the atmosphere of the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Sin City, Gambler's Paradise, and hometown to one very special announcer. “Of course it does, Francis,” King grants magnanimously. “Va'aiga will receive yet another comeuppance, and Michael will get to return to his rightful place at the top of the SWF card!” “That's not quite how it turned out last time,” Mak replies. “But in the SWF, anything can happen.” “Francis, this VEGAS. My hometown, and I'm telling you Va'aiga's odds are almost as ugly as he is.” “We'll see about that, King.” Funyon clambers slowly into the ring as Referee Gil Grissom inspects the ropes and turnuckles thoroughly. He raises his microphone and blares. “Ladies and Gentlemen, the next match will be one fall. First, from New Zealand by way of Sunnyvale, CA, USA, he weighs in at 350 lbs...he is the Maori Badass...VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'AIGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The arena lights dim, the entranceway fills with smoke and the spotlights home in on the entrance gate. The loud shouts of Samoan gangsta rappers Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E. fill the arena with a familiar battle cry Boo-Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa (HA!) Boo-Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa (HA!) Boo-Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa (HA!) Boo-Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa Yaa. (BOO-YAA!) And Va'aiga walks out into the entrance gate, decked out in one of his familiar red and black entrance robes. As "All Mighty Boo Yaa" continues, Va'aiga throws the Boo-Yah Combination in time with the music. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” West Coast LUV! Play y'all HUH! Comin' thru YAA! BOO-YAA! *BOOOOM!" Pyro fires off in the entrance gate, behind The Maori as Va'aiga finishes the combination by throwing the Shaka sign, tilting his head back and throwing the hood of his robe back with the action, revealing his heavily tattooed face. Va'aiga walks down to ringside slowly, handing his robe to an attendant before stepping into the ring, climbing one of the corners and staring out into the crowd, throwing the Shaka Sign again. King snorts derisively. “You know, with a little more practice he could get a job as an extra at that Star Trek exhibition...he's almost got that 'live long and prosper' sign right...” Mak shakes his head. “While it would be hilarious to see what the Maori would do to a building full of Trekkies, I think Va'aiga's Shaka sign is no laughing matter, King. That sign is very often the last thing an opponent sees before the Maori Badass punches their lights out.” “The lights never go out in Vegas, Francis. And here comes the man to show Va'aiga exactly that.” A resounding bell heralds the beginning of “For Whom the Bell Tolls” by Metallica, and a video montage of Alexander’s previous in-ring exploits interwoven with a new branching double-helix fractal graphic. The montage has been updated to include bits that feature Toxxic, MANSON, and Insane Luchador. Blue and white strobes flicker in the arena, and as the guitar kicks in... “And his opponent...” Funyon croons. “From Greenville, SC, USA...weighing in at 221 lbs...he is the Mad Scientist of the Mat...MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHAEL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALEXAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDER!” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Alexander steps out onto the stage, and the flicker lighting stops dead. He gazes out over the crowd, smirks, and makes his way to the ring. He glares briefly at Va'aiga, who returns his glare with interest and a snarl. Michael trots up the steps and glides into the ring between the middle and top ropes. He waits for Grissom to inspect the turnbuckles again before leaning into his corner to await the bell. He briefly sweeps his gaze over the fans in disdain. Grissom has apparently finished his investigation of the ring, and thus he calls for the bell. Funyon beats a hasty retreat from the ring as the bell rings. DING! DING! The two men close with one another...Va'aiga barrels forward and Alexander charges, the two colliding in a collar-and-elbow. Va'aiga asserts his significant power advantage, and begins to bull Alexander back, when... “JESUS F'N CHRIST, WHAT IS THAT?!?!” King chokes. “I don't know, King...Alexander just shifted his weight and now both men are on the mat in some sort of hold...Alexander looks to be in control, but I can't tell what's...somebody's hand is tapping...is that? It is...! Va'aiga just tapped out!” The taped hand continues to tap as Gil Grissom examines the mangled tangle of limbs that is the two locked combatants, then helps to separate them. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “What did Va'aiga tap to? What do we call that?” King asks incredulously. “I don't know, King...” Mak whispers ominously. “It was like the Ultimate Submission...none of us even saw it coming...” As Gil Grissom raises Alexander's hand high, Funyon's voice echoes throughout the arena. “Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner...the Mad Scientist of the Mat...MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHAEL AAAAAAAAAAAAAALEXAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDER!” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “There's always a first in Vegas, Francis,” King chides, regaining his composure as Michael's victory is announced. “Indeed, King. What does this bode for our Main Event tonight? Come back and see, folks!” Michael Alexander smiles wickedly at the camera as we... FADE OUT.

Happy Birthday! And no, that's not because you're the marker...or not just because anyway... ;P

If the show date is June 10, I should be in. *fingers crossed*

My availability depends on when the next show would be, unfortunately. June is going to be a little hectic for me.

Work and holidays got me again, unfortunately.

So far I've only seen MANSONOSITY be used in a line-of-sight, so I figured it's worth a try.

I'm thinking that if Alexander hides under the ring for 5 minutes, he could just crawl back into the ring and pin what's left of Va'aiga and MANSON...

Uhm...I want to opt in for the next show, which I'm presuming will be sometime in mid-April...?

Luke's match was pretty darn good, but Michael Alexander applying a Full Nelson? On a guy that's 3 inches taller, 30 pounds heavier, and stronger than him by a significant margin? I did love the Thunderstruck out of the Event Horizon though.

Incidentally, when will the Main Event "stip" be announced?

I'll mark the main event. No problems.

*ducks*

When will the next show be? If it's sometime in early March, then I'm in. If we're trying to squeeze another show in during February, I'm going to be too busy at work to do anything other than perhaps another infamous Unpromo.

I felt proud of that match at CFC as well. I agree with Toxxic, writing a winning match against Bruner is like trying to write about surviving an earthquake or hurricane. The match doesn't end with a win, it's more of an escape. And you're right, Taiga can't legitimately outbrawl Bruner herself. The size differential is too great. There has to be a mistake by Bruner for her to capitalize on or some form of outside interference (either with Marvelous screwing up Bruner or El Gordo getting in Bruner's way). Taiga might be able to outwrestle him, as she does make submissions a serious part of her arsenal of moves, but I have no idea how anyone could get Bruner locked into a Cloverleaf. Even if he was unconscious.

Impressive main event. I won't play spoiler, either, but...congrats.