Mad Scientist

I think it's a possibility that they'd let him headline. He was the first undisputed champion, and he did go over all the top guys for that, including HHH. Maybe the E has seen the light and recognize the need for another top-tier face that has more promo and maneuver range than Cena or HHH. Or, I could be deluding myself. If so, I'll stay cozily nestled within said delusion.

SINGLES MATCH Toxxic vs. "Big Bully" Bruner Tough to call...but I'll go with TOXXIC SINGLES MATCH Leon Sharpe vs. Insane Luchador Sharpe will win, if for no other reason than the Secret Service Agents intervening to prevent injury to a presidential candidate... SINGLES MATCH Luke-o vs. MANSON MANSON...after the return of MANSONOSITY, what can stop him? SINGLES MATCH Ghost Machine vs. Jesse James Sanders I'll go with Ghost Machine...although Sanders may surprise me, as he seems to have escaped the alternate dimension that MANSON banished him to a few weeks ago... As for Genesis, since I flubbed that whole #1 contender match (not that I could have come up with a better match than TOXXIC's anyway), I have no plans, but I'm open for something. Although since Sharpe's running for Pres., there could be a...DEBATE MATCH! I have no idea how that would work...maybe there would be a microphone on a pole, and...well, maybe not...or something.

I think we've fully established that Matt > Ashley. Wait, what was this thread about again? Seriously, Matt has more moves, more in-ring ability, and the ability to be something other than fake undead guy. And Version 1.0 still rules as one of the greatest heel gimmicks ever. Bring back the Matt Facts! I actually think Ashley's hot. Agreed. There isn't a person here who wouldn't kill their entire family (is it too soon for a family-killing pun?) for the chance to sleep with Ashley. Her face is a trainwreck, she has a terrible boob job. I think she looks manly to be honest. Wouldn't touch her. Neither would I. One of the worst looking divas around today.

Hunh? Did I miss something?

I'm pretty sure Ric owns the rights to that name, as he has used it even back when he toured the old regional territories. I'm willing to bet it's his; I can't see him getting snookered into selling the rights to it, nor do I think Crockett or anyone else was smart enough to TM or copyright it. Remember that he used the name when he bounced between WCW and WWF back when the two were still competing in the 1990s. I'm sure if anyone had the juice to stop him from using the name when he jumped ships, they would have at that point. Plus he has to know that, regardless of what they do with him, he's going to be one of the most over performers on any show. At a point where the WWE is drastically low on star power, the name "Ric Flair" can still generate interest and thus provide him leverage in this situation. Considering the spelling change on the last name, can he even USE "Ric Flair" outside of WWE? I know he could keep Ric, but the change of spelling could constitute a stage name that WWE would not mind throwing some money at.

I think they're doing a slight face turn with Umaga...basically they're having him destroy mostly heels now, instead of faces. If you beat up heels, you can't help but get a few face pops.

In order of promosity: William Regal HHH King Booker CM Punk (just the little bit I saw in the New Blood storyline and his meeting with Vince were gold) Mr. Kennedy Armando Alejandro Estrada

My plans ultimately depend on the severity of the drubbing I receive from Dangerous, Clark, or both. I'm up for some possible War Games goodness, but I share JHawk's concern about the many possibilities for no-showiness.

It is a terrible gimmick, but it's tons better than the old one. You're right in some respects...the guy doesn't have the mic skills to pull off these surreal promos. He'd be better with just being an arrogant jerk opportunist heel, in the Edge mold. That doesn't require him to use pseudo-intellectual catchphrases, which his current promo abilities don't allow him to pull off without sounding a bit like a local news guy reading a report about someone interesting. I think the "Morrison" gimmick could work, and I love the weird surreal references, but Johnny's promos in that vein come off terribly. I blame bad booking...you don't go from being second fiddle, promo-wise, to talentless T&A to trying to pull off a relatively complex gimmick based almost entirely off of your ability to convincingly deliver surrealist promos containing references to Nietzschean philosophical catchphrases that he probably doesn't get. That's a huge leap to force on someone at the same time you toss them into a title scene that they have not only never been involved in before, but also are, character-wise, completely unsuited for ("Hollywood" scthick and "eXtreme wrestling" go together like a mariachi band and Eskimos).

Hey, as stated, all my guys were strictly fantasy. Most of them would never show up again given the chance. And if they did, the halfwit "Hollywood" booking and writing team would bugger it the same way they do everything else. But a wrestling geek can dream...! DDP was only a flash in the pan because WCW booked him that way. He was way over going after the nWo, and they guy always worked his BUTT off to put on a good match, but Bischoff and WCW would never let him get any convincing wins. Can't be seen as any kind of threat if you NEVER WIN. Thus, he fizzled. So far in the history of wrestling, only Spike Dudley and Eric Young can consistently job to anyone and everyone and stay over. Plus, the Diamond Cutter rocked. All of Randy's RKO spots, from the amazing hit to Carlito when the latter came off the top rope at him to the "out of nowhere!!!" finisher, were unceremoniously ripped straight from old DDP matches. As far as I can tell, the only original RKO spot was the latest Cena onto the chair spot, which was admittedly pretty darn good. Goldberg was, by all reports, a terrible guy to work with. But, his Spear, press-slams, Jackhammer, and all those other moves that involved tossing even really big guys like Nash and Mark Henry around were awesome. Only Lesnar came close to being as good a powerhouse spot guy. Credit where credit is due, though - Rhyno's Gore beats the hell out of anyone else's spear, even Goldberg's. It always looks like somebody should have broken ribs after a hit from that. The rest of his offense is ho-hum, but that Gore is gold. I'd love to see Jericho and Rock in the ring as well, but then they would just make the rest of the roster look that much worse. They need to pass on those skills so that we are not left with "local news" promos, so that the overall product can improve.

If booked in some sane fashion, I'd like to see the following guys return (this has nothing to do with whether they would want to come back or could, btw...this is strictly fantasy): Tajiri...the E needs more Evil Green Mist, dammit! Goldberg...yes, I said it, dammit. He was the last of the great powerhouse wrestlers who actually made things look vicious when he did them. His press-slam moves and that leg capture slam of his were awesome. There really are no decent powerhouse guys who use those moves. The closest is Batista, and that's just sad. RVD...Mister (insert day of the week) Night, Mr. Pay-Per-View, whatever you call him, he was great. Dean Malenko...I miss those awesome matches he and Rey had. And I want to see a cruiserweight guy whose focus is not lucha-style, dammit. Whatever happenned some good old-fashioned catch-as-catch-can mat wrestling? Dean vs. Punk would RAWK. DDP...the master of the Diamond Cutter. RKO vs. Diamond Cutter. I want the Legend Killer gimmick ended by the move that put Orton on the map. Bret Hart...for the obvious reasons. The Sharpshooter on Orton for one. And of course, because the art of promo is dying a slow death in the E these days... Chris Jericho The Rock As much of a mark I am for the Rock, I really don't think he'd have the same impact he had all those years ago, You've only got to look at his last couple. The Rock and Jericho could do wonders for the promo work. Hell, if they could just come in and cut promos and maybe teach some of the younger talent how to get over with your promos. Honestly, that's what's missing from a lot of the young talent...they've often got good ring skills, but they need to learn how to do a promo with style and panache, not like they're reading a cue screen on the local news, dammit. The only place to find good promos nowadays is on YouTube vids of Rock's and Jericho's old mic work. Flip from that to RAW or SD! today, and it makes you just want to cry.

Not bad, and pretty fast-paced. Neither guy really took to the air a lot, but they got in their signature spots. On another note, if you've never payed much attention to the lyrics to Yang's music, please do so. Its pretty hilarious. It's every stereotypical country song you've ever heard (Drinking Beer, Driving a Truck, Getting in Bar Fights) rolled into one. So he comes to the ring to David Allen Coe's "You Never Even Called Me By My Name"?

Incidentally, just for my edification...is the show on for Wednesday the 22, or Thursday the 23?

I've always been a big Flair fan, but he's been in a rut for at least the past 15 years. Basically since his first run in the WWE, really. He is quite possibly one of the greatest promo guys in the history of the sport. Even with the repetitive format of most of his matches, Flair still pops a crowd better than 95% of the current WWE roster. I know that doesn't say much, but there you go. Sadly, Flair today is a fleeting shadow of his former greatness, and as a longtime fan I cringe whenever I see him in a match now. He does not need to be wrestling anymore. Managing? Sure...he'd make a great heel manager for a cocky young protege who had yet to develop good mic skils. And there's no one better to learn promos from than Flair. But he should not be in the ring as an active roster member.

Hey, I'm in the Main Event! Oh, and... OPENING PROMO!!!

I'm supposed to be entertained by that? Mission failed. The live crowd's supposed to be entertained by that? Final angle aside, I heard "same old shit" chants twice last night during the undercard by the Orlando crowd, and they normally drink the Kool-Aid TNA feeds them and ask if there is any left for a second helping. And when Karen "turned" on Joe, up went the "Fire Russo" chants. They're alienating their core audience now, and free admission or not, there's only so far you can push the core audience before even they go, "Fuck this, I'm done." I anticipated crap, but I'm sad to hear that TNA delivered as promised. When your diehard people who pay good money to see your live PPV level event chant against your WRITERS or BOOKERS and not your HEELS, then you have buggered the pooch. That should never happen, ever. TNA is not the only company to ever do that kind of crap, but they're the company that can least afford to do it...and therefore their errors are all the more glaring and saddening. If the WWE does it one night, or even 2 or 3 nights, it won't be on the next night, and they can absorb the loss much more easily. TNA can't.

Hey, give me an overdone Nietzsche reference before a crappy attempt at alliteration any day. And I am digging Morrisonitro's "Palace of Wisdom" promos. Is it just me, or is he almost getting good on the mike?

That "No Mercy" poster isn't half bad. I'm actually digging the evil crippler Orton far more than the "Legend Killer." Giving active talent concussions seems a lot more threatening than beating up old men.

TNA is written by Manatees. No, because then it'd at least be as good as "Family Guy."

Well, both...

Does this even exist? Please don't tell me it doesn't exist. I still haven't really gotten over that whole Santa thing.

Why the hell does TNA keep getting these WWE rejects?! Someone think of a logical answer why it be logical to push these guys and not guys like christopher daniels? From what I've seen of both: Morgan's got size, charisma and mic skills. Daniels is boring and only has a minimum of the last one. Daniels is boring? I'd never had guessed it from his matches over the past few years. Nothing against recruiting misused/underused talent, but what the heck is wrong with using your own talent correctly instead of rushing to recruit new people that you'll squander just as quickly. Daniels, Styles, Young, Killings, Harris, Storm, Shelley, Sabin, LAX...all have been misbooked, mishandled, and mis-everything else by TNA, but the TNA execs scramble to recruit and overpay people that are decidedly unproven draws. They need to stop hiring new wrestlers and concentrate on firing their crappy bookers/writers and then hire some people with: a) business sense; b) an appreciation for wrestling, not just spotfests, gimmick matches, and overcomplicated angles; c) writing talent; d) creativity; and finally, the most essential, c) an ability to logically and consistently book/write good wrestling. It's honestly been like they've got a room full of retarded, schizophrenic monkeys with copies of old WCW and WWF magazines from the 90s trying to write up and book their shows.

God, I hope you're right.

That means he'll be a face, along with VKM; that's what TNA does with natural heels...turn them face. And no matter what, if they book someone to be heel and that person gets face pops, they will never, ever modify their booking to take that into account. For his angle, Pacman'll call female wrestlers tramps and talentless hos, and join up with Mr. @$$ and Road Dogg and they can become the most over misogynists ever!

This is the 1st show Finlay has been on since Hornswoggle won the belt. Hornswoggle usually gets face pops, and they really haven't done anything differently w/ Finlay because of it, so I imagine it'll stay the same. As for the CW belt, the rumor/news is that they're going to kill off the CW belt in favor of a X-Division-type deal, so that's why Hornswoggle won it. And I prefer Noble's Tiger Bomb to the gutbuster thing. His tiger bomb was good, but that gutbuster looks badass when he does it. It seems to have a pop that his tiger bomb didn't. Another positive thing about Noble is that he's one of the few cruiserweights that doesn't do the overblown spotfests; he consistently delivers with some serious mat wrestling and good psychology. That damn bulldog entrance is getting old though. Shouldn't that gimmick be gone with his partner Kid Kash? Give him some nice white trash southern rock theme music and let him wrestle, dammit.