JHawk

They'll do what they did when there was no Kenny. "Timmy Timmy Timmy Timmy..."

Anybody else laughing at the fact that the founder of Playboy has a "pet monkey"? That's sexual innuendo at its finest there.

Who or what were we linking to, exactly? But OK, I'll work with it. Raw 1998. X-Pac (as Mizark Henry): "I smell what you're cooking. Smells like shit. But I think I'll eat some anyway."

Yeah, when I picked up Boxcar Racer I saw and that went "what the fu...oh, it's not the edited one." Yeah, Boxcar Racer was the first time I ever noticed it too. As you can see in my signature it's also on Ben Folds Live and I've seen it on cds by Tommy Lee and Blink 182. What actually annoys me is that there's nothing to tell you it's actually the edited version when you pick it up. At Circuit City, it's one the price sticker, but it doesn't actually say it on the CD itself. You're supposed to figure it out from there not being a parental advisory sticker on the cover. The problem is when I buy the CD, I don't actually look for the parental advisory sticker. I look to make sure it's the artist and album I want to buy. Then again, I never buy any CDs with a parental advisory sticker anyway, but I get tired of customers returning a CD bitching that they didn't know it was the edited version.

Saturday Night's Main Event (Oct. 1986): Jake Roberts: "Ricky Steamboat, there are two kinds of people in the world. There are winners, and there are losers. In tonight's Snake Pit Match, my friend, you will find out what you are -- a loser! I am a winner, the ultimate winner. Because you see, DDT has never failed us."

I basically started watching before I could remember because my dad and brother watched any wrestling show the rabbit ears could pick up. Became a full-fledged smark around 1998 even though I got the net in 1996.

FIVE Austin tracks? This is like The Wrestling Album except without the camp factor.

SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (12/18/2003) I really did try to keep my bitterness down to a minimum, but I had a bad week, so fuck it.

I got called in once but was excused for being a fulltime college student.

A few gems from Jim Cornette: "I've been training hard for this match with Baby Doll. I've done pushup, I've done situps, I threw up twice but I'm OK now..." "Tom Zenk was going to pose for Playgirl magazine, but the pictures came back underdeveloped." "Rick Steiner is so stupid, he stayed up all night studying for a urine test."

SmackDown 11/15/2001 Paul Heyman: "In just a few moments, at my leisure, I'm gonna call Vince McMahon out to his ring, in front of his public on a television show that's owned by his grand company. At least, that is, until this Sunday at Survivor Series." ["You suck" chant competes with "asshole" chant.] Tazz: "Must be a lotta ex-ECW employees!" Heyman: "I know how much you people appreciate what Shane and Stephanie and I have done - how Shane and Stephanie and I have stood up to the tyranny of Vince McMahon (edit) and the way it is, ladies and gentlemen, is quite simple - the WWF will DIE this Sunday. But don't blame ME for that - it's not MY fault. I'm not the one that RUINED everything that was accomplished by Stone Cold Steve Austin. You see, at Survivor Series, it means so much more than just the personalities that are involved. It's about ending with Vince McMahon has tried to accomplish. I sat there at that desk on Monday, and I listened to Mick Foley. And I agreed with everything that Mick Foley had to say - that the WWF truly does SUCK! Don't boo me. Have you watched the television show lately? Vince McMahon has lost his MIND. The man doesn't have it any more! He's a hasbeen, his ideas are antiquated, his concepts are draconian, and Mick Foley was right, because the WWF is imploding from within! Like every great empire, the WWF is imploding from within. Vince's loyal employees, like Stone Cold, left him; like Mick Foley, want nothing to do with him. Vince's own children want him to burn in hell, and I don't blame 'em. Vince McMahon will see the WWF die this Sunday at Survivor Series. And he has no hope to save his precious company! Vince McMahon has the same chances of saving the WWF as he did of realising his dream of starting a football league..." [Out comes Vince McMahon.] Heyman: "I want you to know that I was down on my knees, 'cause I know that you're used to men [puckers] kissin' your ass, Vinny. Every time you walk in the back there, there's Patterson and Brisco, oh what a great idea you had, Vince! (mwah mwah mwah mwah), (mwah mwah mwah mwah). You LIKE men kissing your ass, don't you , Vince, huh? 'cause that's what you're all about - a BILLIONAIRE - the BILLIONAIRE VINCE McMAHON, the creator of sports entertainment! I've waited so long to see you face to face like this. And I've waited so long to tell you to your face that I hate your stinkin' guts. But it's not just me. It's your children that hate your stinkin' guts, Vince. And at Survivor Series, your children are gonna do to you what I have waited my whole life to see somebody do to you, Vince. You are, so help me God, the most disgusting, vile son of a (beep) I've ever seen in my life. You took Hulk Hogan's blood and you built Titan Towers. You STOLE Bret Hart's dream, and with that money bought yourself an airplane with WWF all over it. And you KNOW it, you son of a (beep). You stole Shawn Michaels' smile, took your company public, and made yourself a billionaire. But not a self-made billionaire, like you like to tell everybody you are, oh no. See, you're a billionaire on other people's hard work. Your father - your FATHER, Vince McMahon, your father went around the country and shook the hand of every-- you know I'm tellin' the truth, don't you. You know in your heart I'm telling the truth that your father shook the hand of every promoter in this country and swore to them that he'd never compete against them...that his son would never compete against them. And when your father DIED...you competed. And with your ruthless, merciless, take no prisoners attitude, you drove everybody out of business, didn't you, Vince. You ran all the competition to the ground and you stole all their ideas, and you made yourself a billionaire out of it. And you know whose ideas you stole the most, Vince? You stole MINE. See I don't give a damn about Don Owen and Sam Muchnick and Jim Crockett, I....I care about what you did to me and my family. How you stole MY dreams, how you stole MY legacy, how you stole everything that ECW represents. Because...while Doink the Clown had a - a green hair and rubber nose, Stone Cold Steve Austin was drinking his first beer in ECW, damn you. While Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund were dancing around singing "Tutti Frutti'', ECW was producing the edgy TV that you named "Attitude." Oh, we got Attitude! You got nothing, man. What you got is my ideas, and you stole MY LIFE - MY MONEY - MY LEGACY!" [Paul removes his hat and throws it at Vince.] Heyman: "SCREW YOU! SCREW YOU and your family! I'll tell you something, your own CHILDREN hate your guts, and on Sunday, your children are gonna get even with you, for everything you stole from me, for everything you stole from them. You flaunt your affairs in front of your WIFE - you flaunt your affairs in Playboy for your children to read! You (beep)! Look at Tazz! Look at Tazz! This man was a KILLER - he was a machine! He was a wrestler - a great wrestler, a real man...but wrestling's a dirty word to you, isn't it Vince? Your father built a wrestling company, and you - you hadda have 'sports entertainment.' 'We had to have sports entertainment, ha ha ha.' He was a wrestler, he was a great wrestler, he was a man, and now he's a fat, little, obnoxious colour commentator, and not even a good one! He is a 'sports entertainer.' He is not a *wrestler*, 'cause you made wrestling a dirty word. You made 'wrestling' a dirty word, Vince. What kind of a man are you? What kind of a man takes - takes wrestling and makes it sports entertainment? At Survivor Series, you're goin' down, Vince. I promise you, you're goin' down, and I'm gonna watch it, and your children are gonna lift their leg, standin' over your grave, and we're gonna laugh, and you know what else I'm gonna do, Vince? I'm gonna run your (beep) outta business. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it. I'm feeling GOOD about myself! AGHHHHHHHHH" [Tazz locks the Tazzmission on Heyman from behind and begins tapping. At that, Vince grabs the mic.] Vince McMahon: "Paul Heyman...you are the epitome of the Alliance because, this Sunday at Survivor Series, the Alliance will CHOKE."

I'll believe all of this when it actually happens. Isn't the general rule of thumb that you have to have people give a shit about you to main event at WrestleMania? I know there have been exceptions (Big Show, I'm looking in your direction), but that should disqualify Orton right there.

Some of those don't even make sense from a kayfabe standpoint. I'm gonna have fun reviewing this one...

Sounds like an idea that's doomed to fail. But if it works, hell yeah!

Three matches I wanna see... I have the day off work... I might have to get this one

::waits for Anglesault to chime in on the Randy Orton hate:: I'll pass judgment until I figure out where they're going with it, but I don't have a good feeling about this angle.

RVD at SmackDown (10/11/2001): "Far be it for me to ignore the advice of our leader, Stone Cold Steve Austin. Yeah I'll touch you again. I know when you're talking about me reachin up for the stars, you do NOT want me to pass up this opportunity. Stone Cold's cool with it - RVD's cool with it. I'm in."

Now try sittng in the arena and watching that monstrosity. Yep, that's my pick too.

Given one or two factors that I don't really feel like discussing right now, I think I'd move in a heartbeat. Quite honestly, I have nothing keeping myself in Ohio at this point and a couple of reasons to move out of state, so yeah, if I had the cash right now, I'd get the fuck out of here.

Yes, and if I heard him correctly he also said that he has "no talent". Granted, I wasn't paying a whole hell of a lot of attention, but I thought they were talking about Foley's comment toward Orton from segment 2.

Hillbilly Jim & Uncle Elmer defeated Bret Hart & Jim Neidhart If they tried that result today, the smarks would RIOT!

SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (12/11/2003) Good stuff. And Ernest Miller. It can't be perfect, I guess.

That depends on whose side of the story you believe, but I'd think so.

Trying to add one with a bunch of names so we have some options, so this is from the Nov. 1, 1999 Nitro. Bret Hart: "I just wanna say something - first off, I didn't build my reputation by SCREWING people. I watched the replay - I watched the video footage of last week's match. It's pretty clear to me that Bill Goldberg got [muted] week. There's a lot of scum runnin' around in the back. Kevin Nash - Scott Hall - Sid - so I want you to listen up and listen loud and listen real clear - 'cause as far as I'm concerned, Bill Goldberg is the United States Heavyweight Champion...and I don't care what you think. 'Cause I don't want to win a title like that - that belt belongs to Bill Goldberg." "

Since we never got a clear answer to how/why the York Foundation broke up, I do have more info. At Clash of the Champions XVII, Thomas Rich was wrestling Big Josh in a lumberjack match. Taylor tripped Rich, leading to his defeat, leading to the Young Pistols (at the time being recruited for the York Foundation) to ask him what the hell was going on. I think they did a quickie angle on TV a week or two after that to explain the Taylor Made Man bit (I can't remember exactly what the angle was though), but for some stupid reason they not only kept him as a heel, but they had him teaming with Young Pistol Tracey Smothers at Clash XVIII. WCW was fucked up long before the Vince Russo era.