JHawk

That picture was completely uncalled for! I ain't had enough vodka yet! Dames, pour me another.

UWC TV Taping On-Site Report (9/30/2003) You know the drill.

How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace When I stand here taking every breath with you, oh You're the only one who really knew me at all How can you just walk away from me, when all I can do is watch you leave Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain, and even shared the tears You're the only one who really knew me at all So take a look at me now, cause there's just an empty space And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face Take a look at me now, cause there's just an empty space And you coming back to me is against all odds and that's what I've got to face I wish I could just make you turn around, turn around and see me cry There's so much I need to say to you, so many reasons why You're the only one who really knew me at all So take a look at me now, cause there's just an empty space And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face Take a look at me now, cause there's just an empty space But to wait for you, well that's all I can do and that's what I've got to face Take a good look at me now, cause I'll still be standing here And you coming back to me is against all odds That's the chance I've got to take, oh, oh Just take a look at me now

I think CJ just got banned because he implied that skinny women can't be good cocksuckers.

I'd offer to drink with you TSA, but I get kinda touchy feely when I'm drunk and I really don't want your man kicking my ass.

First off, allow to me say that Choken isn't my type. Since I'm straight and all that. Anyway, it's time to sing. This is a song for the ladies. But fellas listen closely. You don't always have to fuck her hard In fact sometimes that's not right to do Sometimes you've got to make some love And fuckin give her some smooches too Sometimes ya got to squeeze Sometimes you've got to say please Sometime you've got to say hey I'm gonna Fuck you softly I'm gonna screw you gently I'm gonna hump you sweetly I'm gonna ball you discreetly And then you say hey I bought you flowers And then you say wait a minute sally I think I got somethin in my teeth Could you get it out for me That's fuckin teamwork Whats your favorite posish? That's cool with me Its not my favorite But I'll do it for you Whats your favorite dish? I'm not gonna cook it But I'll order it from Zanzibar And then I'm gonna love you completely And then I'll fuckin fuck you discreetly And then I'll fucking bone you completely But then I'm gonna fuck you hard Hard

Welcome to the island of Margaritaville! Please rise for the national anthem. Nibbling on sponge cake, watching the sun bake, All of those tourists covered with oil, Strumming my six string, on my front porch swing, Smell those shrimp, they're beginning to boil. Wasting away again in Margaritaville, Searching for my lost shaker of salt, Some people claim that there's a woman to blame, But I know it's nobody's fault. Don't know the reason that I stayed here all season, With nothing to show but this brand new tattoo, But it's a real beauty, a Mexican cutie, How it got here I haven't a clue. Wasting away again in Margaritaville, Searching for my lost shaker of salt, Some people claim that there's a woman to blame, But now I think "hell it could be my fault". Blew out my flipflop, stepped on a poptop Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home, But there's booze in the blender, And soon it will render, That frozen concoction that helps me hang on. Wasting away again in Margaritaville, Searching for my lost shaker of salt, Some people claim that there's a woman to blame, But I know it's my own damn fault. Yes, and... some people claim that there's a woman to blame, And I know it's my own damn fault.

Everybody but Triple H. Well, that was easy.

Hit it Maestro! Say your prayers little one don't forget , my son to include everyone tuck you in, warm within keep you free from sin till the sandman he comes sleep with one eye open gripping your pillow tight exit light enter night take my hand off to never never land something's wrong , shut the light heavy thoughts tonight and they aren't of snow white dreams of war, dreams of liars dreams of dragon's fire and of things that will bite sleep with one eye open gripping your pillow tight exit light enter night take my hand off to never never land now I lay me down to sleep pray the lord my soul to keep if I die before I wake pray the lord my soul to take hush little baby , don't say a word and never mind that noise you heard it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet , in your head exit light enter night grain of sand exit light enter night take my hand we're off to never never land

Steve Casey

And we wonder why the McMahons can get PPV matches when guys like Ultimo Dragon have trouble making Velocity from week to week.

CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN! Sorry, Harry Caray flashback!

Can somebody explain to me FOX's logic when showing "regional coverage"? I just watched the Brewers-Astros game instead of the Cubs-Prates game despite the fact that I live less than two hours from Pittsburgh (and one of the FOX affiliates is closer to Pittsburgh than that). At least they showed an important game, but it seems like common sense would dictate otherwise.

WrestleMania is march 14. I just want to say that I hate you all for getting tickets. But if I can get a few off of ebay without breaking the bank, I'm in.

I was actually remakrably calm when I couldn't get through. Hell, had I gotten through I'd literally be rolling coins to eat the next two weeks until I get paid. That being said, should anybody get two extra tickets (or not be able to go for some reason), let me know and I'll take them.

To all the people defending the telemarketers on this one: It's illegal to call anybody once they tell you not to call, as that can be interpreted as stalking and/or harassment. So what legal right do telemarketers have to call me when I already said "DON'T FUCKING CALL ME!"

He goes to parties and dances with a baton. What do you call it? I call it being social and not taking myself so goddamn seriously. What the hell kind of person doesn't take themself seriously? Oh TAG! What do you mean by "That's SOOOOOOOO 2002"?

I just wish my cable company would make up their mind whether or not they want to carry NBATV.

EDIT: too slow

What the fuck is going on today? That's what, four celebrities today alone and seven or eight in two weeks?

Ripper FrozenBlockOfPissReborn Anglesault Dr. Tom LaParkaYourCar Downhome CobainWasMurdered JHawk (Because I refuse to be shutout, dammit!)

SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (9/25/2003) uh...yeah...

Well, unfortunately, I can't just click off the TV, as it's my job to sit through and report on that garbage. But since the quarter hour ratings apparently show that the McMahons draw they think we're willing to swallow that garbage (even though the only time I ever paid to see Vince McMahon wrestle was the cage match with Austin). Heaven forbid I actually want to purchase their PPVs and want to see a good show. Heaven forbid that they put on a main event that I give a shit about to make me want to order the PPV. Meanwhile, is Ultimo Dragon still with the company?

George Steele

SmackDown (duh, I have to make it a must watch show) The Joe Schmo Show. I actually tape it every week since I'm never home Tuesday nights, but this show is great. That's basically it.