JHawk

And D'Lo claiming to be from a different European city every week? Say what you will about that title, but D'Lo's reign made it seem like it meant something.

Notice you have to pay 25 bucks if you want it to go through to your paypal account.

Went to the TNA show at the Eastwood Expo Center Saturday night. For the record, the Expo Center is actually about 20 minutes outside of Youngstown in Niles, OH, but they advertised the show as being in Youngstown for like six weeks. I guess they figured nobody would have had any clue where they were referring to if they said "Niles". Now, this is a horrible building for wrestling, as the ceiling is low so top rope moves, while possible, are a bit risky. Think Bobby Eaton trying to do the Alabama Jam at the TBS Techwood Drive Studios. One note that impeded my enjoyment of the show early on: "general admission" tickets were all standing room only. I don't necessarily mind if you say it up front, but they didn't bother to mention it until we got into the building. So my "general admission" ticket forced me to stand for three hours. And with people bringing their kids, they end up putting their kids on their shoulders so they can see, which means nobody else can see behind them. Again, not a big deal since I got there early... ...only to get told 20 minutes before the show that, despite the "stand wherever you want" edict that my "general admission" ticket granted me, I had to move because I was in the "handicap section". Only one wheelchair in the entire building, and that was already in front of me. Oh, and nothing roped off or marked in any way to tell me that before hand either. This was not going well. So now I'm pissed because I lost my spot anywhere near where I might be able to see the ring. So I wind up going as far back as I can (defeating the purpose of arriving two hours early to get the best "seats" with my "general admission" ticket), and Jeremy Borash comes out and says "the loudest fans will get to go backstage". Cool for the kids. So of course, a mother brings her six kids (I think only one was hers and she just happened to drive) back to where I'm standing, and they're screaming in my ear so they can go backstage. Mind you, had they acknowledged it was standing room only I would have been home with my daughter and a whole lot less pissed off than TNA and the Expo Center had made me by this point. My mood improved slightly (only slightly) about five minutes before the show when a guy walked in with his family...and his seeing eye dog. I swear I'm not making that up. Anyway, let's get to the show itself. While I'm horrible at guessing attendance figures, I'd estimate at least 1,000 people. All the chairs were sold out (approximately 600) and there were a ton of people standing. 1. The Motor City Machine Guns defeated Petey Williams (sub. for Johnny Devine) and Elix Skipper in 10:03 when Alex Shelley pinned Williams following a double enzuigiri. After the match, Skipper and Williams argued over the finish when Skipper hit a spin kick. Skipper went for a chair, and Scott Steiner showed up unannounced to make the save. Good opener, probably the best match of the night. 2. Shark Boy (doing his Stone Cold impression) pinned James Storm in 11:19. The Bret Hart sleeper finish where Storm had the sleeper locked in, only for Shark Boy to kick off the turnbuckle into a pinning combination. This was largely comedy, centered around a couple of spots involving Earl Hebner "wrestling" both guys. Early on, he locked up with Shark Boy and pushed him back to the corner, then broke it with a "whoo" and a Ric Flair strut. He also got Storm into a headlock, which led to Hebner and Shark Boy taking Storm down with a double hiptoss. After the match, Storm and Shark Boy toasted each other: Storm drinking beer, Shark Boy drinking water. This ended with Shark Boy taking Storm down with a stunner, then drinking bottled water on the turnbuckles. It should be noted that during the match, a couple of families walked out, with one mom going "fifteen bucks a person and my kid can't see a fucking thing." 3. Awesome Kong pinned Jacqueline (sub. for Ms. Brooks) with an Awesome Bomb in 3:38 to retain the TNA Knockout Title. Kong was actually pretty over with the crowd. Essentially a squash and the worst match of the night. Early in the match, Earl Hebner walks by me to go out the front door and grab a smoke. During this match, a family of four walked out of the building, taking their chairs with them. I guess they thought it was a WWE PPV where the first eight rows got to take the chairs home. 4. Booker T (sub. for Samoa Joe) pinned Robert Roode with a scissor kick in 9:50 after Ms. Brooks, who didn't wrestle as advertised before this, prevented Roode from hitting Booker with a chair. Good match. Booker was insanely over. Roode got some boos for his promo about hitting Sharmell at the PPV, which I felt should have included some blowjob references. Alas, it was not to be. Intermission with the Motor City Machine Guns signing autographs. I thought about sneaking up front, but the standees in the first five or six "rows" never moved. I can't say I blame them. Just prior to the match starting, Jeremy Borash tells people "if your standing in front of a chair and it's not yours, please stand somewhere else." So of course, the mom had taken the kids to stand in front of the front row, and she comes back complaining about the decision. These people paid 50 bucks for a front row seat, let them watch the show unimpeded. By this point, the kids realized they weren't going backstage and started cheering and booing because they wanted to, and they were actually quite entertaining the rest of the night. 5. Tomko and AJ Styles defeated LAX to retain the TNA World Tag Team Titles when Styles pinned Homicide with a roll up and a handful of tights at 7:54. This was on its way to match of the night had it had a few more minutes. Insane dives to the floor by everybody but Tomko in this one, and an awesome sequence of wrestling early by AJ and Homicide. Heard by the kids during the match: "Raw, SmackDown, and ECW are fake, but TNA's real." They must be doing something right, even if it isn't "writing logical storylines". 6. Johnny Devine (sub. for Petey Williams) pinned Jay Lethal with a rolling cradle and a handful of tights at 8:39 to retain the X Division Title. A good match with surprisingly great heat, as Lethal was way over and Devine drew good heel heat. Why do the same finish two matches in a row? Welcome to TNA. Before the main event, they filmed crowd reactions for Impact, then asked if we wanted TNA to bring a PPV here. If they get the Chevy Center or Packard Music Hall, sure. If they book the Expo Center? Not on your life. 7. Kurt Angle pinned Samoa Joe (sub. for Booker T) in 9:24 to retain the TNA World Title when he hit Joe with the title belt after AJ Styles interfered. Referee Andrew Thomas actually had to stop short on a three count about 7 minutes in because Angle forgot to kick out. Solid but disappointing concering who was in the ring. After the match, Joe laid Angle out with the muscle buster. When Angle came to, he cut a promo about wanting to stick it up Vince McMahon's ass, so TNA will be number one, by God. After the show, Jay Lethal, Johnny Devine, LAX, Elix Skipper, and Earl Hebner signed autographs at ringside as Kurt Angle posed for polaroids in the ring. Twenty bucks for a polaroid of Kurt Angle, and they made an awful lot of money off of it. I didn't pay for the Polaroid, but I did stick around for autographs and to chat. I ragged on Jeremy Borash for asking Jay Lethal "What do you think of the fans in Youngstown, Iowa?" Me: "You realized you called this Iowa, right?" Borash: "That was Lethal." Me: "Only after you did it." Borash: "I feel like I'm in Iowa." Me: "That's not a compliment." Borash: "I grew up in Iowa." Me: "You're lying, but nice try." Shark Boy posed for a picture with a fan, then made sure to pose for a picture with his cute girlfriend, even going so far as to ask "Are you sure you got it? Take another one." Half man, half shark, but the right half is man, I guess. Hey, I don't blame him. If she would have been by herself, I'd have hit that. Hernandez signed autographs by the curtain, and one of the fans saw James Storm walk by. The fan asked Hernandez to call Storm over, and Hernandez goes "hop the rail". The fan points out the security guard, and Hernandez goes "If you all jump the rail, he can only shoot one of you. Most of you will be safe." See, had they actually been in Youngstown, someone would have shot the security guard, then hopped the guardrail. Overall a very good show (and the postshow meet and greet literally kept me from writing a huge anti-TNA rant) and I hope for a return to the area, but for the love of god book a building that believes in chairs for general admission and a high enough ceiling for the X division.

See, if he had gold he'd still be champion, so it fits. /WWE logic

Which is actually why I didn't turn anything in. I had an awesome triple threat outlined but got so frustrated trying to make something out of the actual Royal Rumble portion that I was ready to bang my head against the wall.

I already informed Toxx, but I can also mark if need be. I'm burned out on writing but marking for the time being sounds like fun.

You guys realize the numbers aren't final because there are still evening shows tonight, right? Why these things are always released on Sunday afternoon continues to boggle my mind.

While I know Hardy's got a lot of support, is anybody hoping to see this after tonight?

This week's shameless plug: This Sunday at 6pm Eastern/3pm Pacific, Smart Mark Radio presents its Royal Rumble preview show. Graham Cawthon from thehistoryofwwe.com will be joining yours truly in previewing the 21st Annual event, as well as giving our predictions and discussing the history of the event. You can join in the conversation by calling into (646) 478-5863. Tune in live at 6pm Eastern/3pm Pacific exclusively at www.blogtalkradio.com/smartmarkradio, and archives for all previous shows are available as well. Future scheduled shows (subject to change based upon guest availability):. February 3, 2007: (Special start time 5pm Eastern) James Beard, former referee for World Class Championship Wrestling, joins us to discuss the history of the territory and his experiences in Texas wrestling. This is going to be a huge huge show that you will not want to miss. February 10, 2007: TNA Against All Odds preview

Following a week off for illness, Smart Mark Radio returns to its normal time of 6pm Eastern/3pm Pacific this coming Sunday, January 13. Join us as we review TNA's Final Resolution PPV, discuss all the latest news in WWE and TNA, and relive the "glory" of Herb Abrams' UWF. You can join in the conversation by calling (646) 478-5863. Also tentatively scheduled for January: January 20: Indy wrestling tribute show (Scroby is currently one of our scheduled guests for this show). January 27: Royal Rumble preview/history show.

Since it doesn't look like they're announcing all 30 guys: 1. Who will win the 2008 Royal Rumble? (2 pts.) Triple H 2. Who will be the runner-up? (3 pts.) The Undertaker 3. Who will be the iron-man? (5 pts.) Shelton Benjamin 4. Who will have the shortest time? (5 pts.) Colin Delaney 5. Who will have the most eliminated opponents? (3 pts.) Kane 6. Who will draw #1 and #2 (3 pts each, 3 bonus for accurately naming both) Shelton Benjamin, The Miz 7. Who will draw the most successful winning entry of #27? (5 pts.) Batista 8. Who will draw the #30 spot? (5 pts.) Mr. Kennedy 9. What will be the eventual winning #? (5 pts) 19 10. Will there be any surprise/unannounced entrants? (No point value), If yes, who will they be? (3 pts. each) yes, CM Punk, Shannon Moore, Jimmy Wang Yang, Elijah Burke, Colin Delaney, The Big Show 11. Will the endurance record of 62:12 set by Mysterio be broken? (No point value), If so, what will the new record be? (Closest to the supposed new record gets 10 pts). no 12. The final six men eliminated will compete in the second chance Elimination Chamber next month, who will those people be? (3 pts. each, 10 pts bonus for accurately naming all) The Undertaker, Batista, Kane, CM Punk, Shelton Benjamin, Shawn Michaels 13. How many instances of interference by non-active competitors will we see? (3 pts.) two 14. How many people will Hornswoggle eliminate? (3 pts.)none 15. Will anyone bleed? (no point value), if so, who? (2 pts) yes, Tommy Dreamer

In fairness, Kane's been on another brand for awhile so enough time's gone by that he can forgive and forget. /kayfabe

Brady will win MVP because Joe Buck needs a cock to suck for four fucking hours. Seriously, I think the goal of every football announcer these days is to see which one can verbally fellate Tom Brady the most.

You guys are also forgetting SweetNSexyDiva, who only came here because she knows me in real life and figured it'd be fun to harass me. And I like it when she harasses me. My friend Jill also registered a few years ago as bluejill but I don't think she ever posted.

75. Bobby Lashley never main evented a wrestling show from the Mall of America.

I'd say something from TNA would probably fit but I haven't been able to tell the heels from the faces in years. EDIT: Petey Williams, a Canadian, turns face preventing LAX from burning the American flag. He's Canadian, why would he give a shit?

62. Lashley was never managed by Jim Cornette.

Get laid during the halftime show. Then you don't even need to wait for the game to be over to fall asleep

Re: Chavo's not a draw. He doesn't have to be. They don't have their own exclusive shows that would require the champion to be a draw.

Likes an Ohio baseball team

Clarification for those immediately thinking this is also part of an NFL conspiracy to help the Patriots (which was admittedly my initial knee-jerk reaction: Source: Fox Sports Website Each team has a 16 game regular season schedule. Of these games there is annually a home and away series between division rivals. Therefore 6 of New England’s games are as follows: Team……………….….Win% Buffalo Bills…………...0.438 Miami Dolphins………. 0.063 New York Jets………...0.250 Buffalo Bills……………0.438 Miami Dolphins………..0.063 New York Jets………...0.250 Next, each division plays another division within their conference on a rotating basis from one season to the next. In 2007 New England’s division played the AFC North. In 2008 it worked out that New England’s AFC East Division plays another weak AFC division, the AFC West, leaving the AFC South to be played in 2009… Team……………….….Win% Denver Broncos………..0.438 Kansas City Chiefs……..0.250 Oakland Raiders………..0.250 San Diego Chargers…….0.688 Additionally, each division in one conference plays one of the four-team divisions from the other conference, also on a rotating basis from season to season. In 2006 the AFC East played the NFC North, followed in 2007 by the NFC East. In 2008 it’s the AFC East’s turn to play another weak division, the NFC West, and in 2009 the AFC East will face off against the NFC South… Team……………….….Win% Arizona Cardinals..…….0.500 San Francisco 49ers……0.313 Seattle Seahawks………0.625 St. Louis Rams…………0.188 Finally, as a division winner in 2007, the Patriots are scheduled to play the division winners that reside in the two divisions the AFC East isn’t scheduled to play in 2008. These games are the reason the new schedules are not announced until the end of the previous regular season. Therefore: Team……………….….Win% Indianapolis Colts.……0.813 Pittsburgh Steelers…….0.625 Total………………………..6.192 Average SOS (6.192/16)……0.387 It looks like bullshit and smells like bullshit, but unfortunately, this one is not a gift.

"Not that good" and "not the great team everybody says they are" are two different things. The "best team ever", as a lot of people are already proclaiming them despite the Super Bowl still being two weeks away, would have had that game out of reach early and had their second string in in the fourth quarter to give them playoff experience. The Pats are a very good team that are undefeated based on a couple of breaks (which all good teams get, so no knock on them for that) and a phantom call that kept what became the winning drive alive against the Ravens.

I thought that Yoko had been off his feet before that by Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Yoko destroying Duggan is why he wasn't in the Rumble. 2005 is another great Rumble, but I think since it followed 2004, it gets forgotten. I think the Duggan thing happened in February, and that's just going by memory, but they were still building to that on the Raw after the Rumble. I don't know why he wasn't in the Rumble though other than the review of the 1992 Primetime show that was on 24/7 that I read on TOA made some mentions about Duggan being mentioned for the match as something that would need to be corrected, said in a way that implied contract issues. The Duggan thing was taped a few weeks before the Rumble but didn't air until after the Rumble, making the booking for the Rumble finish that much more silly. With the angle in the can, why have Yoko go off his feet at all?

The 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team says hello. 18-0 or not, the Pats are not the great team people think they are. Strugglling against an injured Chargers team confirms that.

I hate rooting for New York teams out of principle. But a loss might finally knock that arrogant smirk off of Belichick's face. Decisions decisions. I think I'll sleep between 6:00 and 10:00 and go to a bar after the game for karaoke night.