JHawk

Joel Gertner From Anarchy Rulz 2000: And well, well, well. I'm here in St. Paul, Minnesota at Anarchy Rulz, and when they ask me for pearl necklaces, I show them the Family Jewels. I've made so many women so wet I could fill Olympic-sized swimming pools; and I have so much carnal knowledge, I could open my own chain of schools. For I'm the quintessential studmuffin, Joel "I've been everywhere in the United States, east west up and down, but the chicks in Minnesota are the hottest girls around. I've been with white. I've been with black. I've been with red, yellow, and brown, and if it wasn't for contraception, I'd have 27 children in this town" Gertner.

Ventura: "It isn't how you play the game, McMahon, it's whether you win or lose."

How much does this guy weigh?!? Why was Art Donovan even invited to that show? "How can he beat a guy so big?"

Where she majored in stripping... Exactly. She's got her degree. Open a savings account, you hippie!

*cough*scam*cough* Sorry, I was clearing my throat.

The crowd was chanting "Let's go Eugene" as Triple H was toying with him like 10 seconds before he walked out the door. Either he's over, or Triple H is the most over heel ever, and I know the latter ain't true.

Thursday, September 9th Missouri at Troy State Friday, September 10th Florida State at Miami Oregon State at Boise State Saturday, September 11th UNLV at Wisconsin Arizona State at Northwestern Southern Miss at Nebraska UCLA at Illinois Fresno State at Kansas State Michigan at Notre Dame Marshall at Ohio State Colorado at Washington State North Carolina at Virginia Wyoming at Texas A&M Georgia at South Carolina Houston at Oklahoma Colorado State at USC Georgia Tech at Clemson Penn State at Boston College Mississippi at Alabama Texas at Arkansas Tiebreaker #1: How many total points will be scored in the Florida State/Miami game? 72 Tiebreaker #2: How many total yards (passing & rushing) will Missouri's Brad Smith have against Troy State? 222

Unforgiven 99: Lawler: "When Moolah and Mae Young were out here -- and they're getting older by the minute, by the way -- you forgot to tell us where they played football, JR." JR: "YOU DIDN'T COME UP WITH THAT ONE ON YOUR OWN! SOMEBODY'S HELPING YOU BACK THERE!" Lawler: "Did they play for OU, JR?" JR: "No, they didn't play for OU, King."

It was clear on the replay. not so much at the time. Kinda like the Giambi-Jeter play mentioned earlier? Don't see your point. Still don't. Jeff Weaver threw a game away. I'd explain why I think you don't see my point, but I know two things: 1. You still wouldn't get the point. 2. You wouldn't bother paying enough attention to try to get the point.

It was clear on the replay. not so much at the time. Kinda like the Giambi-Jeter play mentioned earlier? And Bob... Well, some of us only saw it slowed down one speed instead of four or five and therefore never saw it that "conclusively". And the Jeffrey Maier thing isn't ringing a bell with me right now. Care to elaborate? No, you don't dwell on series where your team wins. If you want proof that you dwell on series where nothing really happened, two words: Jeff Weaver. Anyway, if I went into every piece of shit call the Yankees got in that 1999 ALCS that they shouldn't have, we'd be here until the World Series. Either Boston didn't get any close calls for six full games (your story I'm sure) or that was one of the worst called series in recent memory.

I am so glad I didn't know you during the 1999 ALCS. You probably thought that was the greatest officiated series ever.

Against the A's. I think Giambi was the runner, actually. They only replay the damn thing every five minutes during the playoffs.

Well, there was that time a couple of years ago in the playoffs where Jeter made that terrific play at the plate, and the umpire forgot the rule that says if the runner touches the plate before he's tagged out, the run counts. Or are you going to spin that around and say "Well, I MEANT rules about things OFF the field" like you tend to do?

It's easier to get lodging back home than find accomodations on the road. There was certainly something available to them. MLB insisted that it was willing to pay hotel fair. And it's nice that your extremely bias source couldn't even completely deny a formal request. I don't think money was even an issue where that was concerned. Have you ever tried to book a hotel room in NYC? Not likely because you live in the area. Try finding a room for four people on short notice. Tough, but you can do it. Try doing it on a holiday weekend. Not likely. Try it for 75 players, coaches, and other assorted staff. It ain't happening because there aren't enough vacancies. Why is it that every time a rule gets bent even the slightest in the favor of the Yankees, it's a perfectly acceptable exception, but as soon as your Yankees get "screwed" you're calling for people's heads on a stick?

Joel Gertner (I believe from Hardcore Heaven 97): "This match is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Your referee is bald."

What pisses me off is if Oregon State had a kicker, I wouldn't have to rely on fucking Nevada.

And the D-Rays are en route to New York, so it looks like they'll be playing both games today, beginning about 30 seconds after they get to Yankee Stadium. Ten bucks says Anglesault calls bullshit before the day is over.

A few from Unforgiven 98: [During HHH-Owen, with Chyna suspended above the ring in a cage]: JR: "What's she got there, King?" Lawler: "It looks a like a file!" JR: "I think that's what it is!" Lawler: "And it wasn't even baked inside a cake!" [During the evening gown match]: JR: "You must be a lonely guy, King." Lawler: "Come on, JR! Sex is the most beautiful and natural thing that money can buy!" [During the inferno match]: Lawler: "Remember what they say, Paul (Bearer). Hell hath no pizza, so you don't wanna go there!"

How about Madusa vs. Oklahoma for the Cruiserweight Title? Or the pinata on a pole match? Or Psicosis defending (and losing) the Cruiserweight Title without ever explaining how Lenny Lane "lost" the title?

Bottom line: I was trying to start a fantasy football league on Yahoo for family and friends, but unfortunately most of them decided to bone me. Now, one had computer problems, and my dad is an idiot who never wrote down his Yahoo ID, but bottom line is I wanted to do a 10-team league and thus far have three. After three plus weeks of recruiting. So here's where you guys come in. I consider some of you friends, and I'm cool with most of you, so anybody who wants in can get in for what will be a mostly TSM league. It would have to be an autodraft at this point since the season starts Thursday, that's the only catch. The first seven to PM me will be sent the info for registration, and I'll run with whoever I have as of 5pm Eastern Tuesday.

But it still made somebody feel good, didn't it?

It was one of those "feel good story of the year" deals. You know, the ones that never make anyone feel good. I know some Dodger fans that felt pretty fucking good about it. Well, they did!

That depends. Exactly what time was Sunday's game postponed? Because when I was on my lunch break Saturday, the game had not been postponed and had the possibility to be played. By the time they postponed Sunday's game, it was already too late to rearrange the travel plans. I guarantee you that if this involved any team other than the Yankees, they'd find a way to reschedule the doubleheader.

"No Mick, don't kiss the booboo..."

Loosely paraphrased. Joey Styles: "Joel, can you believe that when TNN becomes The National Network next week, their slogan is going to be 'We've got pop'?" Joel Gertner: "That's still better than the first slogan they had." Joey Styles: "What was that?" Joel Gertner: "TNN. We f{BEEP} pigs!"