JHawk

"I've got balls the size of grapefruits." It's just the best one to quote.

I still claim the title win shouldn't count. Watch the tape: Giant holds the chokehold for 11 seconds, and you're supposed to break within 5. Yeah, I'm nitpicking a worked match, but still

Tazz doing ring announcing (this may have been during the Lawler feud): "Weighing in at 6000 pounds from the waist down...Rikishi! Rikishi! Rikishi!"

Jim Cornette (referring to Baby Doll): "That cowboy Dusty Rhodes doesn't tie his horse up, he lets it walk with him to the ring."

I'll give my take on dress codes in general since it applys here. I work at Circuit City, and we have a dress code...for when we're working at the store during store hours. That doesn't apply to our days off or, in the event we're traveling on work-related matters, when we're on the airplane or driving in the car or whatever else. Would it be so difficult to amend the code so that when you arrive to the arena or appear at a personal appearance, you dress a certain way, but when you're simply traveling from point A to point B you wear whatever you damn well feel like? Part of the reason people relate to wrestlers is because most of them seem like real people. Why take away a key factor in how your audience relates to your talent?

Even so, Dent was probably the least likely guy to beat the Red Sox in that situation, which is where I was going with that. But I honestly think the Red Sox are going to fold at some point anyway.

Only if some utility player on the Red Sox becomes Bucky Dent 2004. Which I'd like to see, actually.

Jim Cornette: "Ladies and gentlemen, here they are. The men most women would throw their husbands and boyfriends off a cliff to spend one night with. The Gangster of Love and the Sultan of Swing, Beautiful Bobby and Sweet Stan, the Midnight Express!" Stan Lane: "And now, the man who taught Pee Wee Herman everything he knows. He's your friend and mine, Mr. Jim Cornette!" Jim Cornette, after an overzealous fan entered the ring during his intro: "We're fixin' to save your life. We're gonna let you sleep it off!" Joey Styles during the Chris Benoit-Al Snow match at Double Tables: "I've seen more wrestling in five minutes than I've seen on pay-per-view in five years."

I called once or twice for PPV results before I got the internet, but that was about the extent of it.

You'll get no argument from me on that one. Hell, I remember a friend of mine holding an Uncensored 1997 party, and when Sting attacked the nWo, the reaction was "Finally!" It was getting tiresome at that point. But the fact is most people bought it hook line and sinker, and Starrcade 97 did a monster buyrate.

Anytime Anglesault mentions the Yankees in a positive light, change Yankees to "Red Sox". And I suck at Freecell, so figure it out yourself.

Not quite. Sting had a clause written into his contract that he only had to wrestle so many times a year. Basically, with Nitro adding an extra show a week, Sting was approaching that number around Fall Brawl 96. I'm not sure how accurate it was, but there were reports that Hogan-Sting was originally planned for Starrcade 96 before they were able to sign Roddy Piper. Why they made the decision to wait the full year is beyond me. My gues: probably to make Starrcade seem uberspecial, and had they not fucked up the entire angle with that lameass finish, it would have worked.

October 1986 SNME. Roddy Piper: "So what you're saying me to is some goofball in a dress and some...and some fat hog...we're talking between the two of them, 600 pounds (unintelligible)...what you're saying is I can't wrestle The Iron Sheik tonight because these fat, nasty, stretchmark looking sons of no g...what you're saying to me is I can't wrestle, is that what you're telling me?" Gene Okerlund: "The doctors are telling you that." Piper: "Oh, the doctors are telling me that. You know what you can do, little Dr. Torre? You can go out and deliver somebody's baby! I ain't no baby! Nobody in my entire darn life has ever told me what to do! If I wanna wrestle, I'm gonna wrestle! I'm not gonna sit back and say 'Oh my poor little knee', and let them have the courtesy of saying they didn't let me wrestle. I'm not gonna sit back! You see, there's a difference in the entire world between every wrestler and myself! And thank God for that, man!"

It ran about 50 minutes when you take out the commercials... EDIT: Dammit, Barron, you beat me to it by what, 15 seconds or so?

Heenan: "That's it, Ric! Go to the floor, make him come after you, then pick up a chair!" (From WrestleMania 3 about Koko B. Ware) Ventura: "Of course, you know the B stands for Buckwheat." Monsoon: "No it doesn't." Ventura: "Oh, yes it does! I understand he has a brother too, named Stimey." Monsoon: "Will you stop?" Ventura: "Wears a derby."

He was the special ref, and Vince said "screw you", not "fuck you". Although technically, Vince said he'd fire Austin if didn't raise the winner's hand, and Austin had declared himself the winner and raised his arm, so he never should have been fired in the first place. I'm seriously surprised Russo didn't actually use that reasoning.

From an ECW house show. Lance Storm is wrestling Super Crazy, and the crowd starts chanting "USA": Storm: Who the hell are you rooting for? I'm from Calgary...Alberta, Canada, and he's from Mexico! The crowd (led by me) begins shouting "Mexico! Mexico!" From the same show, Raven (w/Francine) to CW Anderson (w/Elektra): "It was nice of you to bring your grandmother to the show. She can't be a day older than 85. Maybe 69. Make that 68, I'll owe her one."

Steve Austin: "Do you know what my watch is saying?" RVD: "I've never heard that watch." Chavo Guerrero Jr, after finding a notary public stamp in Stevie Ray's bag: "Hey! I can finally drive! And I can get married! Anybody want to get married?"

Cactus Jack at a local indy show: "I know it's been a few months since you've seen me on TV, but I would really appreciate it if nobody would make any comments about how big my ass has gotten lately."

No rebuttal. I've been saying that for three years.

Ric Flair to Ricky Steamboat: "Why don't you go home and help the missus with the dishes? I'm going downtown!" (After Honky Tonk Man hit Randy Savage with a guitar.) Jimmy Hart: "But he's lucky, Honky." HTM: "How so, Jimmy?" Hart: "He's just lucky you don't play the piano!"

The only one I've seen is the Funk-Douglas-Sabu three way, and yes, it is highly overrated. And that's coming from a huge ECW mark. It's just not that good, although due to the eventual historical significance it had, you ought to see it at least once.

Steve Corino: "Oh, that's real cute, Taz! Go ahead and swear!" Taz: "OK! ::nearly a minute long bleep::"

[During a Tito Santana match] Gorilla Monsoon: "El Pase del Muerte!" Bobby Heenan: "El Passo de Pace Picante? What are you talking about?"

I do remember either Kevin Nash or Scott Hall whipping Savage with a Slim Jim on Nitro and Hogan going "He's beating him with a Slim Jim!"