Promo: Past...presents...and the future?

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

We crawl through the frantic halls of the Baltimore Arena, just moments after Smarkdown has gone off the air…

 

“Thoth! Thoth, where in the bloody hell are you?” The whirling vision of a sweaty Edwin MacPhisto charges through the halls, a look of questioning rage etched across his face! He takes a corner, trying to find the Clan dressing room, and we see Chris Raynor clambering behind, the overburdened Sancho Panza to Edwin’s high-strung Don Quixote, bearing two Tag Team Title belts and one World Heavyweight Title in his arms!

 

“Edwin! Edwin, you left your belts! Slow down!”

 

But the Mac Daddy is a man with purpose as he strides through the halls, finally grinding to a halt when he sees two shadowy figures in conference just outside the weight room. “Thoth! Nekura! Don’t move a bloody muscle!” The Mac Daddy jogs towards them, breathing heavily, and as he approaches, the two Clan members regard him, confused.

 

“What,” pants Edwin, his hands on his knees as he catches his breath, “what the hell was that out there?” Thoth cocks his head to the side as Raynor barrels up, Carnival title collection in tow as he gives a confused shrug of his own.

 

“You’re the tag team champions, Edwin. Consider it a gift, courtesy…an old friend.” Thoth nods towards Spider, and Edwin immediately snaps forward and grabs Thoth by the lapel of his unbuttoned dress shirt.

 

“Don’t give me that crap, Thoth! Don’t play your games with me! We’re on the same side here, are we not? Are we? You didn’t tell me he—him—the man who threw me off a god-damn Hell in the Cell in the Minor League—that Spider was coming back!”

 

“We wanted to give Wilson a little shock, all right?” says Thoth, forcefully shoving Edwin off of him as he answers. Edwin shifts his attention to Spider, leaning against the wall, smirking through a mass of tangled black hair. “The look on Wilson’s face, the fear in his eyes when he saw the Reaper standing before him…it was priceless, don’t you think?”

 

“Priceless? Priceless?!?” Edwin is having a rather unseemly shit-fit as Thoth tries to rationalize. “Thoth, you’re one thing! I can trust you! I’ve fought you a dozen times in the last few months, and I know that sometimes, you’re the strange little border collie down at the kennel that all the strays are scared of, but that above all things you’re a bloody warrior! You fight, and you do it well—but HIM? We didn’t need him! There’s already seven of us! You, me, Chris, Flesher, Mag--”

 

“I don’t make my time on your behalf, MacPhisto.” With a toss of his hair, the blazing eyes of Edwin’s countryman meet his gaze. “I have my business as you have yours. I have old stalks to harvest, and new, powerful seeds to till. Right now, our interests happen to…coincide.”

 

“You bastard--”

 

“Edwin, calm down--”

 

“I will NOT calm down, Christopher!” snaps the Mac Daddy! “Don’t you remember a few months ago? How it all went? The vicious attacks, the sick brawls? I was willing to forgive Thoth, but Nekura…”

 

“Why, MacPhisto?” hisses the Clan’s leader. “Because I’ve still managed to get the best of you at every turn? Because you still feel the pain of sailing 25 feet to the ground after experiencing the Stigmata--”

 

“That’s enough, Spider. Leave him alone.” Thoth speaks with surprising restraint, and Spider shoots him a quick glance before trailing off. Edwin begins to cool off, and Raynor steps up. He offers Edwin his World and Tag belts…and Edwin takes them, throwing them both over his right shoulder. “Look, Edwin,” starts Thoth. “You are the tag champions. You earned them tonight, but remember: it was the Clan who had the final say in your victory. It was the man that you’ve taught yourself to hate who put Wilson down at the last.”

 

Spider and Edwin lock eyes again.

 

“Consider this a sign…of our present loyalty.” Thoth finishes speaking, and the Mac Daddy lets out a bit of a sigh.

 

“I suppose this is where we shake hands and make some sort of…blah…peace, isn’t it?”

 

“That’s not a bad idea, Edwin,” comments Raynor.

 

Securing the two belts over his right shoulder with his left hand, Edwin extends his right hand…

 

…and Spider Nekura takes it.

 

The two men shake, and Thoth and Raynor follow suit. The Balancer grins, then licks his lips, as if he’s been waiting a lifetime to say it:

 

“This could be the start of a beautiful friendship…”

 

And all three men stare at Thoth. Raynor stifles a giggle. “Thoth, you did not just say that--”

 

“Ahem.” Thoth smirks, and then bows formally. “We must now take our leave. Good evening, gentlemen.” Spider gives a silent nod of his own, and with the silent presence of two will o’ the wisps on the horizon, the Clan members turn, step, and disappear down the hall. Chris Raynor looks at Edwin MacPhisto.

 

“Did Thoth just--”

 

“Yes, Chris. Thoth just quoted Casablanca.” Edwin pauses, and puts his hand on Raynor’s shoulder. “Now…let us never speak of it again.

 

“Righty-o.”

 

“And, in the meantime,” grins the Mac Daddy, “let’s go celebrate.”

 

“And how do you propose we do that?”

 

Edwin cocks his head, wondering how Raynor hasn’t figured out the routine after all this time. “Why, by stealing Axis’s car, taking it to the nearest bar, and getting ridiculously hammered. Does that suit your fancy?”

 

“I’ve got just one thing to say to that, Edwin.”

 

“What?”

 

“…play it again, Sam.”

 

Edwin rolls his eyes, and the new tag champions head down the hall, in search of Magnifico, Z, and Axis’s GT. And, walking down the hall, Edwin MacPhisto shares one final thought.

 

“Don’t call me Sam.”

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

LOL @ Sam.

 

Anyhoo, great promo, and interesting no doubt, maybe hinting at something...I dunno, I'm only replying because you payed me off.

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

Pfft. Like that's gonna stop us.

[Guest Thoth]

Woah! That kicked ass!

 

I have to counter-promo.

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

What if god was one of us?

 

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

 

 

 

 

Good shit my man. Spider... I want to see your face dammit! That's my boy! I suppose I better finish me promo for Storm... Blarg.

[Guest HVilleThugg]

Listen...I command you all to stop with all this good shit right now! It's making me want to come back and if I do that, I'll surely fail school, life, and everything in between. So....STOP IT DAMMIT!

 

Nice one there Edwin...and I'm sorry, but the world is not safe when you've got Spider, Thoth, Edwin, and Raynor on the same team. Lord help us all! Wilson's got the raw talent, but MC/Clan's got the experience and know-how. This is going to be so fucking good!!!

 

Da "wishes upon wish that he could come badk" H

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

Again, pfft... like the Carnivan can stop us...

[Guest chirs3]

Carnivan? We're the Clanival, foo'.

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

I prefer the Carnivan, it makes you sound like a cheap mini-van.

 

We're a fucking Ferrari compared to your minivan, don't even bother trying to fuck with us!

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Our VW Minibus of eternal justice will wreck your shit, yo.

 

::turns to see Thoth hanging his head out the window, wearing a hawaiian shirt and holding a joint::

 

It's also...fun. Yeeees. Back to the strippers...

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

Pfft, you couldn't catch us if you tried with that turd-ball.

 

Carnivan... BAH!

[Guest midnight_burn]

Quite the nice promo, i like it.

 

:: Blows up the Carnivan ::

[Guest ErekT2k]

We're a fucking Ferrari compared to your minivan, don't even bother trying to fuck with us!

 

Heh, that's gold.

 

Carnivan.... lol.....

 

EDIT: My mistake. And what thread about the lawn?

[Guest HVilleThugg]

*Bitch slaps Erek over to the thread about the Lawn...and then bitch slaps him off the lawn!*

 

Damn peddler!

 

Da "don't bring that shit over here" H

[Guest TheBostonStrangler]

*smacks Taylor with a frozen Arctic cod, and steals his ICTV belt*

 

Huzzah!

 

*runs away before he steps on the lawn*

 

BTW, the Clanival, or the Carnivan, is going down. Oh yes.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Taking all suggestions into account, the official name of any transportation used jointly by The Clan and the Carnival shall be:

 

The Clanival Carnivan.

 

EVERYONE WINS!

 

And thanks for the comments, people who actually read the promo. This angle's only just starting to heat up.

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

Our VW Minibus of eternal justice will wreck your shit, yo.

 

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

Get off my lawn, Ash.