PROMO: Who am I? Who I am.

[Guest CED Ordonez]

The screen fades in to reveal a bottle of jet black hair dye and a blurry, tanned male figure behind it standing at a bathroom sink. He ducks his head underneath the faucet and begins to rinse the excess dye off of his hair. Nothing is heard but the water flowing until the voiceover of one of the newest members of the SWF begins to play.

 

Ced (voiceover): “A kid had lived in one place all his life and had grown fond of the place that he called home. Suddenly, his family moved to a different place in a different city in a different town. He was so disoriented that he eventually lost sense of who he really was. I guess that’s the feeling I get. Not exactly, but close enough. Nevermind, I hate parables anyway. Or was that a fable? Anyway…”

 

He takes a white towel off the rack and begins to dry his hair off. He is about to put the towel back on the rack when he notices the large black splotches he’s left on it. He combs through his hair with his hands and notices he still has some residue in it. He sighs and pokes his head under the faucet once again.

 

The screen goes black and fades in again as Ced, in his red and white New Japan Pro Wrestling t-shirt and plaid boxer shorts, begins walking away from the camera and down a narrow hall in his Sacramento apartment. He opens the door into his bedroom and leaves it open, allowing the camera to follow in after him.

 

Ced (voiceover): “I never thought I’d be here in the SWF, but here I am. I brought my things from the SJL, but I kind of want something new. The thing is I don’t know what I want. I’m indecisive like that.”

 

He looks at his bed where his old tights sit, folded up in a box and ready to be shoved somewhere into the corner of his closet. As he finds a place to store his gear, a knock on his front door is heard and he lets them wait a while before finally opening it. He swings the door open and a rather cute female with blonde hair in a brown UPS outfit greets him. She looks rather tired and leans on the large box she has brought.

 

UPS Girl: “Hi, I’ve got a package for you. Just sign here, Mr. Ordun…Ordoo…”

 

Ced: “Just call me Ced. It’s a lot easier on the tongue. Did you have some trouble getting that up here…uh…”

 

UPS Girl: “Kim. Yeah this thing weighs a bit.”

 

Ced: “Not to mention I live on the second floor. Just call me from the lobby and I’ll give you a hand next time, Kim.”

 

Ced flashes a smile and Kim the UPS girl blushes a bit at the moderately handsome SWFer.

 

Kim: “Say, haven’t I seen you on TV?”

 

Ced: “Yeah, I wrestle in the SWF now.”

 

Kim: “Really? That was you? (gasps) Ohmigawd! It IS you! I can’t believe I didn’t recognize the name.

 

Ced: “Don’t worry about it. It’s fairly common...forgetting my name, I mean.”

 

Kim: “I’ve been watching you since you were in the SJL. You’re pretty good.”

 

Ced: “Heh. (smiles broader)”

 

Kim: “You think I could get some tickets to a show? I’ve love to see you in action!”

 

Ced: “ (nervously) Oh…uhummmm…sure. I can arrange to get you some tickets for an upcoming show, Kim.”

 

Kim jumps up and down excitedly in celebration. Ced notices how cute she looks even in a less than flattering UPS uniform. His tan skin hides his blushing cheeks.

 

Kim: “Ohhh, you are so…so COOL!”

 

Ced: “Well, just come back around sometime this week and I’ll get you some tickets, alright? Wow, you’re really cute…”

 

Kim: “What was that?”

 

Ced holds in his breath realizing he let that last part slip. He slaps his cheeks lightly and tries to calm down.

 

Ced: “Oh n…n…nothing. Um, what’s you’re favorite color?”

 

Kim: “Purple. Why?”

 

Ced: “I’ll wear purple tights to the show, so you’ll know I’m thinking about you.”

 

Kim: “Awe that’s so sweet! I can’t wait to see them!”

 

Ced: “Say, can I get your number? Maybe I can stop by your place and drop the tickets off personally?”

 

Kim: “That’d be fine and everything, but my boyfriend would be weirded out seeing another guy at our doorstep. He gets jealous pretty easily.”

 

Ced: “…”

 

Kim: “Well, I’ve gotta finish delivering all these packages. I’ll see you later, Ced! Oh you forgot to sign this.”

 

Ced: “…right…”

 

He signs the paperwork and drags the package into his apartment. Kim waves merrily and Ced waves back and slowly closes the door. With the door closed, he lets out a sigh of defeat and scratches the back of his head. He turns his attention to the large box, tipping it over and tearing away at the tape.

 

Ced: “She likes purple, huh?”

 

He manages to get the tape off the top of the box and he begins to pull out the contents: an assortment of single-colored long tights, ring boots and accessories. He fumbles through the box and pulls out a purple pair of tights. He presses it against his lower body and looks at himself in the mirror. After awhile of internal thought, he casually cocks his head to the side and shrugs his shoulders.

 

Ced: “Just this once. (voiceover) Sometimes, you just have to say, ‘To hell with it’, start over, and take a new path. And if it doesn’t work, water, rinse, repeat and try again. Eventually, you’ll find something that feels right.”

 

The screen goes white and “CED” in black text appears in the lower-right hand corner.

[Guest El Luchadore Magnifico]

(Y) at scoring with UPS chicks.

 

 

Seriously, very nice promo, Ced. Good insight into your character.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Right on, Ced. Time to deliver the package, if you know what I mean.

 

Good to see that you're alive and kickin'. A nice piece for a bit of character development, and I'm interested to see how the reinvention of Ced actually goes. Purple's a good start...

[Guest chirs3]

Kim: “Really? That was you? (gasps) Ohmigawd! It IS you! I can’t believe I didn’t recognize the name.

 

Ced: “Don’t worry about it. It’s fairly common...forgetting my name, I mean.”

 

Haha.

 

And purple tights? Eeeew. *points and laughs at Ced*

 

Don't listen to me. Excellent promo from the Cedster.

[Guest Lerrin Breggan]

Very nice promo, I thought it had a good flow and really showed us something more about your character. Next step is to beat the hell out of the boyfriend, club the woman over the back of the head and take her to yiour apartment for some caveman loving!

[Guest Thoth]

Good promo, easy to digest. I say you go after her! Steal her from her boyfriend!

[Guest TheBostonStrangler]

I like it, Cedmaster. Good to know you're not bailing on us right after you got bumped. That's never good.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"Better start reading some of these promos.

 

A hot UPS chick eh? Heh...sure. Most people who deliver stuff to your house are invariably overweight men.

 

Mothernature says, purple?"

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

I have to agree, you only see hot UPS chicks in pornos.