Promo: It's just like cross-promotion

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

(Annie Eclectic watches the monitor inside XF9's locker room, holding ice to her ribs after her brutal match

against Sacred. She watches Chris Raynor be swayed by Edwin MacPhisto, avoiding possible permanent injury to

the Caveman...)

 

Annie: *exhales* Thank the Gods Edwin.... We can't have another....

 

(Suddenly a voice rings out in the Trenton air....

 

"Ladies and gentlemen! let me introduce to you..."

 

"The man of the hour!" Z strikes a pose.

 

"The king of the tower!" Z strikes a heroic pose.

 

"Too sweet to be sour!" Z strikes a heroically stupid pose.

 

"AND... *your* hometown hero!")

 

 

 

Annie: *gasps* WHAT???

 

(Annie watches the exchange between Z and Silent, staring at the screen in complete horror. Molly unlocks

the shower room door and comes out, hair and body covered in towel.)

 

Molly: Annie... what's wrong?

 

Annie: ....

 

(The Hardcore Queen watches Z walk backstage, confidence seemingly forced across his face...)

 

Annie: I gotta find him...

 

(Annie stands up, kisses Molly quickly and runs out of the locker room)

 

Molly: ... must be important if she isn't paying attention to a wet naked woman...

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

(Z walks down the winding corridors of the Soverign Band arena, in a slight daze.)

 

Z: What... have I gotten myself into...

 

(A door opens fifty feet ahead of Z, but the Carnie doesn't pay any attention...)

 

Z: No, gotta think positive Z... you can do this....

 

Voice: STOP!

 

(Suddenly Z stops in his tracks next to the open doorway. Inside he can see only darkness....)

 

Voice: yoink.

 

Z: ... yoink?

 

Voice: ...yoink.

 

Z: .... ..... yoink?

 

*yoink*

 

(Z gets pulled into the dark room with a 'yoink' and the door slams shut behind him...)

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

(A match is lit, a candle begins to burn, and the light from that candle floats to another candle to light

that as well. The glow begins to rise and show the soft form of a face... a feminine face... leaning in

towards the table. Z leans in to follow suit.)

 

Z: Uh... is this a surprise candlelight date?

 

Annie: Ha ha, shut it!

 

(Z's mouth opens wide, then closes, having no response...)

 

Annie: ... sorry. I'm just.. on edge. We have a common foe and I don't want to give him any advantage

whatsoever.

 

Z: Common foe?

 

Annie: Well, he's your foe now, I've stopped fighting him a long while ago... DAMMIT! What in the hell were

you thinking Z?

 

Z: What? Where? I don't even know what or who you're talking about!!!

 

Annie: SILENT! *Annie quickly covers her mouth, trying to take back her shout...* ... silent. What... were

you thinking?

 

Z: Who's buisness is it of yours?

 

Annie: It's Clan, it's my buisness. Do you know my history with them?

 

Z: Would it move this poor excuse for romance faster if I said 'yes'?

 

Annie: Ha ha, no. Listen...

 

(Annie leans back, and with a heavy sigh rests back into her chair)

 

Annie: I used to be in the Clan you know. I was born into it. My mother Megumi was a trained assassin... my

father was a french shootfighter... they fell in love and worked as a team....

 

Z: How sweet! Even amidst death and pain love still reigns!

 

Annie: I wish... *sigh* They had children, twins, my sister and myself. They tried to keep us hidden from

Spider but... well he's not their leader for nothing. He found out and mandated that we be trained as

assassins as well.

 

Z: Well at least he didn't kill you or them.

 

Annie: I haven't finished.

 

Z: .....

 

(The Angel rubs her eyes, the woman suddenly looking as if she's ten years older than she was when she lit

the candles...)

 

Annie: We were trained, but it was obvious that one of us had a bit more talent than the other. Namely me.

But they trained us both equally nonetheless. But then, right around when we turned seventeen... Spider had

a new recruit... Wanna take a wild guess?

 

Z: Let's see... Mayor McCheese?

 

Annie: Very cute. Silent was big news. Still don't know why but he was known as the Slaughterer, deemed upon

him by Spider himself no doubt. I watched him train.... watched him 'spar'... most people dont end up dying

in a sparring match Z....

 

Z:.....

 

Annie: He kept tabs on us for some reason. Didn't talk to us much, except for a few 'encouraging words'

after a training session from Nekura himself. We turned eighteen and it was deemed that our final test to be

the newest assassins for the Clan came. I wish we had never agreed...

 

Z: What was it?

 

(Annie closes her eyes, seconds pass as she tries to bring herself to say words that sting her very soul.)

 

Annie: We had to make our first hits... we had to take out... the Clan's current Assassin team.

 

(Z looks puzzled for a split second after hearing this fact, but his eyes open wide at the implication that

sets into his brain)

 

Z: Your parents....

 

Annie: Very good, Z. Very good.... I went apeshit. I had never questioned the Clan but as soon as I heard

that I went more apeshit than apeshit could ever hope to be. I was Alpha Apeshit. I left immediately, I

couldn't even stand to think about it... but Allison stayed behind.

 

Z: Why?

 

Annie: Well, her reasoning was that she could help our parents more from the inside, tried to lay a guilt

trip on me to come back by saying that. I couldn't though. I was lucky to go with my gut instinct, because

at this point Silent was suddenly VERY interested in the Clan's Assassin core...

 

(Annie becomes silent, Z slightly leaning in as if to try to will the rest of the story out of the Angel...)

 

Annie: ....

 

Z: ...Annie?

 

Annie: Yes?

 

Z: ... is there more?

 

Annie: Yes, I just don't like to remember... it's rather fragmented at best. Allison balked at the idea as

well, pleading with Spider to come up with a better test for her assassinship. Nekura refused. But

Allison... Allison wanted to be a woman with power inside the Clan... she wouldn't be denied a post as

assassin...

 

Z: ...no... she didn't...

 

Allison: Well, according to most she didn't. Remember, she was not the most talented. Actually, she wasn't

very talented at all if you watch her matches here in this fed. There was only one person Spider thought

capable of doing it.. and that was me...

 

Z: YOU KILLED YOUR PARENTS?!?!?

 

Annie: HUSHHHHhhhhhhhh.... hush..... dammit, we don't want him coming in here do we?

 

Z: ...sorry, but Annie! How could you???

 

Annie: I didn't. But I was the one credited with it. When my parents were found dead, Spider immediately put

me in as Head Assassin... even though I was nowhere near the Clan. Allison lost whatever sanity she had

left, becoming a near slave for Nekura and Thoth.

 

Z: ...then who killed them?

 

Annie: From my sister's own words, she did. She was even found with the bodies, bloody and babbling,

although for some reason Spider twisted it to mean that it was me. We are twins... anyway, I don't think my

parents would have hurt Allison, or me for that matter, but they wouldn't lay down easily to be killed. No

someone better had to have weakened them first...

 

Z: Silent?

 

Annie: I'm not 100% certain, but something inside me tells me that it was him. The way the bodies were

mangled... Alli told me how she killed them, how she tortured them and then...

 

(Annie wipes away the tears beginning to streak down her cheeks)

 

Annie: How she drove her blade into each of their throats... the description was obscene, awful... she made

sure I could picture every blasphemy she commited to our parents... but I know it wasn't her. She's nowhere

near powerful enough.... plus, she's completely unhinged since that... if she did it, she wouldn't have gone

off the deep end quite like she did...

 

Z: I still don't see where Silent comes in...

 

Annie: I've seen Silent's work Z... I've seen how he kills, and the description of my parents death seem

eerily familiar... I fear that Silent made Alli kill them... but only after he had his fun first...

 

(Z stares ahead at the woman in front of her. He slightly shakes as all the new information about his

opponent sinks into his brain...)

 

Annie: They were perfect Assassins Z... they weren't pushovers. If I'm right, Silent not only made two

assassins beg for their lives as he tortured them nearly to death, but made another assassin in training

watch before forcing the final blow onto her.... THAT is what you're facing, Z. That is your enemy. You need

to know who and what you're fighting if you're to have a chance.

 

Z: Thank you Annie... but honestly, I'm not sure if that can help me... you're not exactly coating me in a

layer of confidence.

 

Annie: I realize this and I'm sorry, but it's better for you to know than you to find out... the hard way.

 

Z: I guess you're right... *shivers* What have I gotten myself into?

 

Annie: A lot, but you're not over your head. Look into these eyes Z. These eyes have seen Silent work, and

survived to warn you about it. I'm a tough little bitch and nothing changes that. You've got all of the

Carnival behind you in this match, but I want to let you know, from someone else who's been there, if you

ever... and I mean EVER need my help, in the slightest, call out for me, get a message to me, find some way

to contact me, and I'll be by your side. Silent could break this league in half if he's let alone to run

amok. He needs to be stopped. And I'm willing to help you in any effort you make for that cause.

 

Z: *weakly smiling* ...Thank you Annie. I'll remember that.

 

Annie: You're very noble Z, very brave and noble. Just don't let 'noble' be a crutch to mean you can't have

help, it's out there if you need it.

 

Z: I know Annie... thank you.

 

Annie: Now you head on out of here before anyone catches on to my little pep talk, I'll clean up and sneak

back behind my stable lines.

 

Z: Gotcha... yoink!

 

Annie: heh... right.

 

(Z sneaks out the door as Annie blows away the flame from both candles.)

 

Annie: Let's just hope that i have the ability to help you...

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

END PROMO

[Guest Kibagami]

I am beingz teh crazy.

 

Good stuff, Annie. Thanks for the free publicity, by the way. Rar.

 

S.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Shit yo. Z's getting into even more than *I* expected.

 

Very nice stuff, Annie. For some reason, the idea of someone from a dueling face stable giving advice or kind words to a Carnie...it's just cool. To me it says a lot about the character's subtext. The backstory is neat, though I will once again share my slight distaste for wrestling promos where people get viciously killed...but it's backstory, so it's not as bad.

 

I liked that a lot. And profound use of "yoink"...mahvelous.

[Guest Kibagami]

Sadly, I must comment again to prevent Edwin from having the latest post on all three boards. That simply cannot be allowed.

 

Yes, I am an eeeeeeeeeeeeevil bastard.

 

S.

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

well, I gotta put the blame on my parent's death on someone Edwin... it's the only part of my entire WF career that I had issues with, and c'mon, Silent is like RIGHT THERE begging for it

 

plus, I love Z's gimmick and selfishly wanted to do something with him

 

-Annie

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

The JL's biggest noshowing jobber becomes the most known and feared WF'er in the span of how many weeks? Fuck.

 

Good stuff regardless... but this Clan killing shit doesn't impress me too much. It is wrestling, not RPs.

[Guest Kibagami]

Yeah, I didn't even have to change my name to "Bjork" to get out of Jobber Hell.

 

Bong.

 

S.

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

No... but you sure did change it to about 12 other names. Michael Freeman comes to mind.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Good stuff regardless... but this Clan killing shit doesn't impress me too much. It is wrestling, not RPs.

::joins the Clan and kills JD::

 

Seriously though...it is a bit much, like I said. I think we've killed enough for now. If someone dies naturally...that's not so bad. But active murdery death isn't so nice.

 

I think we should go back to the days of McCheese and Exploding Chicken, when it was in fact all just a siiiiiimple ruse designed to sneak the burgermeister away. In the meantime, can we...and do excuse the joke here, there's no better way to phrase it...just put a moratorium on the killin'?

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Yeah, I didn't even have to change my name to "Bjork" to get out of Jobber Hell.

 

Bong.

 

S.

I dunno, man. I started listening to Homogenic again a few weeks ago, and shit, even I'm tempted.

 

I'm the huuuunter...I'm gooooing hunting...

[Guest Kibagami]

Damn. I kill one person in one promo, and suddenly I'm responsible for the deaths of half the league's great-aunts and pet ferrets.

 

Although if I were Edwin, and a homidical lunatic was after me, I'd want a moratorium on the killing, too...

 

Can we compromise? How about I just, um, trip people from now on?

 

::trips Edwin::

 

S.

 

EDIT: And Alien Ant Farm were MUCH more artistic than frickin' BJORK. Bong.

[Guest realitycheck]

plus, I love Z's gimmick and selfishly wanted to do something with him

 

Must... resist... Jay Dawg line...

 

-ahem-

 

Right. Anyway, I really liked that promo. I will say that yeah, I generally don't like the idea of death as a storyline, or story whatever, in wrestling very much, but I liked the way it was handled in this promo better than Spider's. Maybe because it reminds me of one of those scenes in an RPG, where our nodble-but-clueless 45 Degree Angled Hair hero is sat down in front of a character who eplains the true evil and agenda of whatever master villain he's about to confront.

 

...yeah, I'm weird like that.

 

Anyway, good stuff none the less. I second Edwin's approval of the use of the word 'Yoink,' and how could I not like a promo where I get half the dialouge... without doing any work!

 

-Z

Squaresoft RPG hero... hmn... I wonder where I can get hair gel cheap?

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

::feeds Z to the Kefka Goddess, then bets his corpse at the coliseum to win an Economizer::

 

The World is square.

 

And Annie, I promise these vaguely surreal replies will only increase promo traffic, really.

[Guest Kibagami]

As a reward for producing the Markout Moment of the Week, I have purchased this 100% Pure RPG-Guy Hair Gel. Just go over there and get it.

 

::trips Z::

 

Muwha!

 

S,

[Guest realitycheck]

Lies, Edwin. All lies.

 

And I'd just like to say I totally agree with a moratorium on killing, so that Silent will be forced to meerly trip people opposed to outright killing and murdering them until they die from it. Can we have this instituted soon? Like, say, before Smarkdown?

 

edit: And darn j00, Silent! DARN J00!!!

 

-Z

[Guest Kibagami]

Actually, I was planning on tripping you in just such a fashion that you fall through a flaming barbed-wire thumbtack-covered electrified table. Bon appetite.

 

S.

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

Hmmm... I meant to make a comment on Annie's vagina...

 

 

 

It's like the forbidden fruit... or something.

[Guest realitycheck]

Actually, I was planning on tripping you in just such a fashion that you fall through a flaming barbed-wire thumbtack-covered electrified table. Bon appetite.

Uh... cheque, please?

 

-Z

Who's going to stop spammin' it up now.

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

Again, not trying to add a whole bunch of deaths, but just explaining away two deaths that -were already- on Annie's head, and putting the blame on someone else. These people were already dead SWF-wise..... unless no one remembers that part... ::cries::

 

-Annie

[Guest SupaTaft]

I was just poking around and I saw another promo from Annie so I decided to check it out, as she is a very entertaining writer.

 

But I noticed a non-consistency. Truth be told I know very little of the company's past history, but in poking around and reading people's stats I noticed something. Annie says that when she and her sister were born, their parents tried to hide them from Nekura. In Nekura's stats it says that he joined The Clan in 1998. So that would make Annie Eclectic approximately four years old. I doubt that such a tough broad (I mean that in the nicest way possible) could only be four years old.

 

In the relative vagueness of Annie's speach I have come to a conclusion. Perhaps when she said that her parents tried to hide them from Spider, she was not in fact referring to Spider Nekura. Is it possible that since almost everyone else who is in The Clan has only a single name, that Spider is a name bestowed upon the leader of The Clan? The highest in rank and skill in The Clan. Explaining why Spider Nekura could have possibly been known only as Nekura, before the other members of The Clan killed themselves during the Y2K (as is evident in Nekura's stats), and Nekura picked up the moniker of the leader of The Clan, renaming himself Spider Nekura.

 

This is just a theory on my behalf. Please keep in mind I have no prior knowledge of The Clan's history nor the past exploits of either Nekura or Eclectic. It just made sense to me. Clan members and Annie E. feel free to comment on what may certainly be an error on my behalf.

 

-Taft

[Guest Thoth]

Thor... and for everyone else reading, I've toyed with the Clan's history in my mind, like what happened... and there's a billion contradictions. I've been planning this for a year, with the help of others (I TAKE CREDIT FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S WORK SORT OF), and nothing makes too much sense... yet. It'll come together.

[Guest Tod deKindes]

she was not in fact referring to Spider Nekura

Course not, silly.

 

It's his father: Anakin Nekura.

[Guest Kibagami]

::no-sells Star Wars being related to the Clan, at all::

 

S.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

::hits Silent with a lightsaber::

 

Die, rebel scum!

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"If the Clan is so powerful and evil, why can't they even dominate a mid-level wrestling company?

 

Mothernature says, good question..."

[Guest Kibagami]

Because...well...there's, um, a really good reason, but...

 

I can't tell you. Clan business and all that.

 

Yeah.

 

S.