Derr...more Smarkdown comments...

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Original thread has been locked, so here's the spot for more comments if you've got em.

 

I finished up the show--only had a few matches left, so here's what I got to say about them.

 

Z & Silent - I think I mentioned how much I liked this already, but I'll say it again. The brief rushes of Z offense really had me hoping for a turnaround, even though I knew the end was inevitable. Very well-paced.

 

Fallout d. Erek - That's a 3-time ICTV champion folks, first ever! A pretty well-polished Fallout match, well put-together...the Strangler-ference at the end seemed a bit underwhelming just how it was written, though. As usual, the technical sequences are pretty damn flawless. I've always thought Fallout works best when he's got a title belt, because then the fact that he doesn't really promo doesn't matter too much, because he can be the evil fighting champion.

 

Main Event: Wilson d. Thoth - Damn, yo. Wilson's coming into the title match on Storm with 3 big wins. I think the only one he's lost since his return was in our first match at Snake Eyes. That's frightening. This match was excellent, but could have used a proofread, maybe a few edits. The switching of tenses between past and present was a little awkward the times it popped up--you might wanna go over that a bit. Enjoyed the finish, as the old "pass-out-in-a-submission-hold" bit hasn't been used in a while, and it worked well thusly to help Thoth's face turnage.

 

All in all, a good show, low on promos, but high on storylines factoring into matches. Show had a nice feel--I think the 'upsets' and sorta surprising title changes helped that out.

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

Wilson lost a match where he wrote... I on the otherhand... haven't lost a match where I wrote in months! BONG!!!

 

 

*bring it on Wilson*

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

My recent habit of reading the shows late puts me on the secondary master thread. Maybe I can start some more flaming. Yay!

 

OPENING XF9 PROMO

It read a little stilted to me, I just couldn't picture the whole scene well. I also didn't like the form of the promo, where member after member just passes the mic around and punks somebody. That could have been handled in individual promos later or in a more entertaining way here. Mag 7 then comes out and does nothing. As a relative noob to the SWF I have no idea who Mistress Sarah is or why her joining XF9 is a big deal. It would be like if Miss Elizabeth showed up on Smackdown tonight with Hogan and no one explains it. The significance would be lost on all of the Attitude era babies.

 

CC VS. XF9

It was awkward to have the XF9 team in the ring to start off the show then go back to the back to come out again. Why didn't they just stay in the ring? Also, Annie grabs a mic to punk CC and JD. Why didn't she just do that to start with too? (Although I'm guessing Annie was just unsure of what was going to be done in the opener, better coordination would have helped.) Hot opener with blistering action through out. The hot tag to Annie is built well to start, but is then cut short with Renegade actively going back on the offensive before making the tag. Annie could have saw more action.

 

WILSON PROMO

A little harsh on Silent, but probably warranted. I felt this actually did a nice job of putting Silent over while preserving Wilson's personal heat and character. He considers Silent a non-entity, but is slowly changing his mind.

 

TNT VS. FLESHER

The opening is a little long and too heavy on the comedy. I have always felt that one of your biggest minuses is playing too heavy to the oddball humor and this match should have been handled much more seriously. But don't let me rain on your parade. You know you're my little buddy TNT and I'm glad to see you win your first SWF gold (although pissed that you won a belt before I did). This was actually a good match for you to win on as it is prototypical TNT: funny and unique commentary, nicely constructed spots, a well built pace and an exciting read overall. What was that huge gap in the middle about?

 

CARNIE PROMO

Edwin is so concerned about Silent that he's not paying attention to his upcoming match? Good for putting Silent over, but are me and TBS chopped liver?

 

MC VS. MAG7

I think it would take more than a Jeep to take me down Edwin. Think a Cadillac El Dorado. Edwin is my writing role model. He has appropriate funny bits by the appropriate characters, insightful and well threaded commentary and a natural nack at in ring storytelling. I think I'll styles match up well and I can't wait to take him on someday one on one. I would have had TBS control early and then have ELM and Edwin use their speed and cunning to come back, but then again, isn't that the standard of way of doing it? So nice job on reversing the norm. In our match, I had a nice spot involving ELM and a Coke machine. Guess I'll just have to save that for the future.

 

SILENT VS. Z

The opening was way too self winking. I think you could have given Z a little more offense, but I know you realize that. You do a great job of putting Silent over, but at a great cost to yourself. Weren't you telling me recently that you want Z to be taken more seriously and seen as more of a threat? I agree with writing a losing match if it fits the storyline, which this obviously does so I applaud your unselfishness to job whole heartedly.

 

POST MATCH BEATDOWN

Way too much. Z doesn't look like he could beat Cutthroat. Silent, I christen you Brock. Although, man, wouldn't Paul Heyman make a good manager for you.

 

FALLOUT VS. TAYLOR

Great use of TBS on commentary. He gives straight forward analysis in character while playing off of his feud with Taylor. More commentary could have been used to break up the action though. Although the narrative action in and of itself is exciting and transitioned well from spot to spot. A little wordy though, but it does flesh out the visuals very well. The ending is good in giving Fallout the title while still keeping Taylor strong with the well done interference. Making Fallout a new element in the feud breathes new life into it and gives it fresh legs to the next ppv.

 

WILSON VS. THOTH

This is the match that caused all the hub-bub. So I'm not going to say anything and stir up what looks to be a settled down pot. Another solid match by Wilson is all I'll say.

 

I think the fewer promos really made this show more enjoyable for me than the last one and all the matches, while not spectacular, were entertaining and well done. The two title changes really shakes things up a bit and should lead to some intriguing booking down the road.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

In our match, I had a nice spot involving ELM and a Coke machine. Guess I'll just have to save that for the future.

 

Big big (Y) on the Coke machine spot!

 

TBS sent me a copy of your match, Frost. I really liked it, particularly the way you broke it down with that crazy brawl/promo-y section in the beginning, seguing into the actual match. I think what probably hurts you guys most is that the initial Frost/Strangler business took a lot of time out of the actual wrestling of the match. Using about 2000 words for setup/promo time has a big effect on a 4500 word match, where it might not have been so dominating had it been a 6000 word match.

 

Altogether though, cool stuff. And yeah, you were right about it being the reverse of the norm--I started writing it the typical way, actually, but then got bored because I'd done it before. So I switched it up, just for the hell of it. Now I'm really looking forward to the inevitable tag title match against you and Explodo-Boy.