Promo: As Normal As It Gets

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

Ah, the door to the X Force Nine locker room. The picture is so... bland. It's a door, isn't it?

 

Nay. This door is special! Behind this door right now are some of the greatest minds in the SWF that aren't in M7 or the Midnight Carnival! And lo, here comes Erek Taylor, grabbing the knob and swinging the door wiiiiide open

 

But where is everyone? No Renegade? No Annie? No LDP or Sarah? Not even Tod? Is there some corporate party Erek's missing? Is this a surprise birthday bash? Is it even Erek's birthday? Well, actually, no, but where is everyone? There's empty beverage cans and pizza boxes... but no people. Erek's Spidey senses tingle. Something's not right. Something's missing.

 

Erek: This isn't right... something's missing.

 

Voice: People, Erek Taylor? Could that be what you are looking for?

 

The High Flying Prince's eyes travel the room, looking for the source of the sound. There's a big, plushy chair with little wheels at a table, a leather jacket hanging on a coat rack, and among other things, playing cards of all colors strewn across the floor. Erek still feels something, almost like he has The Force, and he calls out:

 

Erek: Who's there?

 

The chair at the table swings around revealing a familiar face, who is smiling through it, just happy to be back.

 

Erek: Well, well... I'm not that surprised you're back.

 

Sitting in the chair is none other than Ash Ketchum. He looks different some way. Erek can't quite put the finger on it as he looks at Ash for the first time in over two weeks, but it's gotta be the 11 stitches across his forehead, thanks in part to his attackers, which makes his forehead look like a football with the laces facing you.

 

Ash: You know me too well, Erek. I guess now wouldn't be the time to crack jokes, huh?

 

Erek: Not at the moment, Ash. I'm busy with-

 

Ash: I know, I know. You and Strangler are at each other's throats, and you have other things to be doing. I've been keeping track of things since my unfortunate departure.

 

Erek Taylor looks down as Ash Ketchum shuffles a deck of Pokemon cards in his hands. That's what he's been doing, hasn't he? He'd probably been at it for an hour or two, and by the looks of things, finished up a game a while ago.

 

Erek: Another game of cards? Who'd you beat this time?

 

Ash: IL. He's not that bad. Better than T-Bone.

 

Erek: How much did you make off him?

 

Ash: Let's just say he's in debt to me for now...

************

The ball pit of the Chuck E. Cheese's down the street from the arena is where the camera takes us. Sitting there in the pit is a little girl playing. Suddenly, the theme from Jaws plays in the background as the little girl plays in the balls. It grows louder and louder until it hits the climax, and suddenly, a man pops out of the ball pit, sitting up and shaking his head.

 

IL: Where... where am I?

 

Luchador turns to face the little girl, and we can see his face. He has had a Hitler mustache, a monocle, and sideburns drawn onto his face in black magic marker, as well as the word "LOSER" written on his forehead. His hair has been braided into tiny braids with pink bows, and he is wearing a matching pink dress as he turns and spots the terrified girl.

 

Little Girl(painfully loud): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

************

Erek: Well, now that you're back, what are you going to do?

 

Ash: First, I gotta remember who beat me up, then I'm going after them, one by one. I

know it was M7... but who exactly it was, I don't know.

 

Erek: You don't remember?

 

Ash: I had a pretty big bump, Erek. I remember walking by the locker room and overhearing them, then blackness, then I remember waking up in the hospital. That's it for now.

 

"KNOCK KNOCK!" Someone pounds on the door frantically. Ash goes to open it, but Erek stops Ash with his arm. Taylor looks over, grabbing hold of a broom resting against the wall, and he nods at Ash. The two men move forward like stealth ninjas, and as Ash's hand touches the door knob...

 

Erek: 1... 2... 3...

 

Ketchum flings the door open while Erek swings the broom down, stopping inches above the head of...

 

Ash: Dammit, Gus! Don't scare us like that.

 

The fattest cameraman in the world. What does he want?

 

Gus: Sorry, guys. I just had a question: Where's the vending machines? I'm real hungry!

 

Erek(pointing down the hall): Over there, Gus.

 

Gus: Over there?

 

As Gus turns around, Ash catches sight of a piece of paper taped to his back. Quickly, he snatches it off the fat one's back and begins to read it while the SWF cameraman looks around in confusion.

 

Gus: I don't see it-

 

"SLAM!" The door slams in Gus' face as he turns around. On the other side of the paper is an ad for some local strip club. Ash reads the message on the back of the ad as Erek waits for his reply.

 

Ash: Hmmmm... interesting.

 

Erek: Someone sent you something for adult entertainment?

 

Ash: It's on the other side.

 

Erek: My bad. What's it say?

 

Ash clears his throat and begins to read:

------

Dear Poke Nerd,

 

You obviously didn't learn from last time not to bother bugging us. M7 has no need for you or your little stable X Force Nine. To us, you are nothing more than specs of dust: insignificant. We have other things to deal with at the moment. We warned you before to stay out of our business. You should listen. For your own safety, Mr. Ketchum. I advise you heed our warning, or we will have no choice but to sideline you for good.

 

Sincerely

 

-Frost and the other members of M7

 

PS: If you do try and mess with us again, the beating from before will be nothing compared to what we will do to you then.

------

Erek: Sounds like he's pissed about something...

 

Ash: Yeah. (Ash looks around to make sure no one else is here.) By the way, don't tell anyone I was here, OK?

 

Erek: I wouldn't want to even if you asked me to.

 

Ash: Okay. I don't need them to know I'm back yet, and I have plans of my own I want to go off uninterfered. And trust me, when I find out who did this... they will pay... because Pokemania is goin' turbo on their asses... and that's a god damn promise.

 

Ash's hand clenches the letter in anger, and with that, we fade to black. Not the best ending, but hey, it gets the job done.

[Guest chirs3]

The ball pit of the Chuck E. Cheese's down the street from the arena is where the camera takes us. Sitting there in the pit is a little girl playing. Suddenly, the theme from Jaws plays in the background as the little girl plays in the balls. It grows louder and louder until it hits the climax, and suddenly, a man pops out of the ball pit, sitting up and shaking his head.

 

IL: Where... where am I?

 

Luchador turns to face the little girl, and we can see his face. He has had a Hitler mustache, a monocle, and sideburns drawn onto his face in black magic marker, as well as the word "LOSER" written on his forehead. His hair has been braided into tiny braids with pink bows, and he is wearing a matching pink dress as he turns and spots the terrified girl.

 

Little Girl(painfully loud): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Best. Segment. Ever.

 

He's baaaaaaaaack!

[Guest Insanityman]

Ash, just ask permission next time? Okay? I understand that I'm in the JL and all... and your a WF'er but should you be able to degrade my creation (especially after I go through all these recent promos)? Markers are hard as hell to wash out... . Welcome back.

[Guest chirs3]

So this doesn't degenerate into more Ash bashing, I suggest a truce.

 

"All JL'ers should be asked before embarassing them in WF promos...

 

... except Cutthroat."

 

Everybody wins!

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

Sortry about that, IL.

 

And good idea, Raynor. I love it.

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

*points to IL* Remember, he's da shit. He's worked his ass off everyday he's been in the league, and I wouldn't be surprised to see Mak, CIA, and IL duke it out for the JL World Title.

 

 

And yes. I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

A bit hard to follow since much of it was strictly dialogue, but a good, subtle return for Ash. Should be interesting to see where he goes in the ring from here...

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

I like Raynor's idea , heh...

 

That was very good work Ash! And may I say that I think we'll all remember the IL segment until he himself gets bumped and beats the crap out of all of us for it. excellent. And unless I'm missing something, everyone in character as well (Y)

 

All in all, excellent work Ash

 

-Annie

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"Good stuff.

 

Looks like you didn't slaughter anyone's character this time either. Aces.

 

Mothernature says..."