I'm fed up with J.R.

[Guest Tigerdrivah91]

Well, I figure I'd throw in my thoughts:

 

-Yes JR is unbearable these days. It's amazing how good he was in the WCW days but now a days I can't listen to him anymore. Lawler's TERRIBLE commentarry just makes it worse. Is anyone else annoyed that Lawler just CANT SHUT UP during a wrestler promo. I mean just a made up example here:

 

The Rock: "The Rock has an issue with Stone Cold!"

King: "Hear that, JR? An issue!"

The Rock: "I want to challenge him to a match..."

King: "A match! Where?"

The Rock: "At Wrestlemania, if he has the guts!"

King: "Does he have the guts, JR?!"

 

I just feel like running down there and yelling SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU OVER THE HILL JACKASS.

 

Anyway, back to JR, can anyone answer these few basic questions for me:

 

-What exactly is a government mule? And why does it get whipped?

 

-How does one "stomp a mudhole?" or "walk it dry" for that matter?

 

-Has anyone actually seen a drunkman tap?

 

-What the FUCK is a booger red?

 

-What happens in the woodshed?

 

-Has anyone actually ever seen an "ass kicking contest"? or better yet, a one legged man participating in it?

 

-What the hell is a pet coon? And why is it so crazy for that matter?

 

O and if Michael Cole says "sickening thud" one more time, I will shoot him. God I hate the little bastard's commentarry. I'm telling you the PERFECT thing to do with Michael Cole if they are intent on having him continue to be a major announcer is TURN HIM HEEL. Seriously, have something happen on air that disgruntles him and just have him be pissed off and bitter. I think it would work great.

 

Also, Styles is the best play by play guy out there, and the WWF should strive to pick him up. He has an insane knowledge of wrestling moves, actually calls the match and gets over everyone involved and keeps it interesting. I do not find "Oh My God" duringa huge bump annoying especially compared with JR's played "BY GOD! HE MIGHT BE BROKEN IN HALF!! DAMNITTT!!!" Teamed with Cyrus they had great chemistry, but I think pairing Styles with his former boss just might work.

 

Also for the record Monsoon and Heenan were my favorite team ever. With Jesse he was good too. I liked JR and even Tony in the early 90s of WCW, and liked Styles especially with Cyrus...

I could not agree with you more.

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

You forgot that old classic "modified suplex" with those. He seemingly says that EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SHOW. Tazzzzzzzzzzz, Angle, Benoit, Saturn, it didn't matter, he'd belch out "modified suplex" no matter what type it was.

[Guest justcoz]

It's funny how everyone groaned while Paul Heyman was doing color for the WWF and now everyone "misses him".  I never got it.

 

I was happy when Lawler walked out.  Now, I love the King.  He does possess a talent to inject the the right amount of humor to otherwise dull heatless moments in the ring.  What will forever irritate the hell out of me though is that the WWF took a perfect opportunity to bring him back, reunite him with JR and make his voice and presence fresh after a substantial layoff.  So what do they do?  They immiediately over expose him by throwing him on Smackdown with Cole also.  So he does Raw, Smackdown and ppv's now and we are now officially tired of his shtick again.

 

I marked out for his return and actually love the team of Ross and Lawler.  Yes, I also feel that JR has slipped dramatically but he's still the best one going today.

 

It's funny how in retrospect people praise Gorilla Monsoon yet while he was commentating the wrestling mags, sheets, etc. HATED MONSOON!!!  Give Me A Break and the SRO signs are out tonight made everyone sick.  He bickered with Heenan and Jesse too much instead of calling the match.  Yet, Monsoon was an awesome and aemorable voice of the WWF.  He was a HUGE part of that product and had incredible chemistry with both Heenan and Jesse.

 

Cole, for all his weaknesses, worked great with Paul Heyman.  Heyman brought out the best in Cole and vice versa. Heyman didn't have to deal with being interupted by Jim Ross like he was on Monday night's.  Cole respected Heyman and a chemistry was developing there.  They were becoming a great team and storylines should have somehow kept Heyman on Smackdown.

 

I agree that Joey Styles should be brought in and groomed to become the voice of the WWF.  He's enough Vince, Monsoon and JR to make it work.  I would love to see a Styles/Heyman announce team on Smackdown I would guess it to be highly unlikely.  Cole and Heyman should be a lock then though...

[Guest justcoz]

and I also feel the WWF should create a spot for Mike Tenay, let him be the third with Ross and JR to break up the repetiveness of their act maybe?

[Guest gofez]

I'd like to see JR snap and take revenge on all those mean wrestlers that embarrsed him.  Like smack the undertaker in the back of the head with a frying pan, then pour his Bar-B-Q sauce down his pants or something.

[Guest AM The Kid]

Don't forget the wonerful quote:

 

"Would somebody stop the damn match!"

 

Actually, isn't "coon" a former un-pc word for black person? So if JR says someones beating his opponent like a "pet coon" does that mean that he's beating him like people in yester-year beat their african american slaves?

 

Heyman is good, he's not a damn puppet. He gives the backstory and calls the match.

 

Lawler is brutal, I liked him a few years ago but now it's all puppies-this, puppies-that. I like little girls type stuff.

 

Cole isn't too bad just overly obnoxious. He screams everything he says in that little girly voice. Sometimes he gets pissed off and thats cool.

 

JR, where do I begin? I think everyone has said it...he's nuts.

 

Coachman, he's not bad...he has really improved. He also gets on the annoying level too much and stops calling the action after a few minutes.

 

Leary, he has some real promise. He has a fairly good voice, he doesn't get too excited or wacko. He doesn't have little catchphrases and he calls a good portion of the match.

 

I want to see a Chris Leary and Paul Heyman color commenting team.

 

I myself am really looking into being a color commentator when I'm older. And that's true actually.

[Guest Army Eye]

It's funny how everyone groaned while Paul Heyman was doing color for the WWF and now everyone "misses him".  I never got it.

Really?  From what I saw, Heyman seemed to get a ton of support, from smarks anyway.

[Guest Croooooow!]

Debut Styles and Heyman as the SmackDown team in Philly and watch the crowd go nuts

[Guest BlackRainbow1025]

Ok, JR has a shitload of stupid catchphrases, but I don't see why some of you are having trouble figuring them out.  Pet coon isn't a black person.....it's a fucking racoon.  See, it's crazy as a pet coon....b/c people don't have pet racoons, that's "crazy".  One-legged man in an ass kicking contest.....if you don't understand that one, you are retarded.

 

As far as Heyman goes, I've liked him since he was Paul E. Dangerous managing in WCW.  I liked him and JR together.  Ross didn't seem near as stupid then.  I enjoyed them yelling at each other.  I don't know how staged it was, but they gave a pretty good impression that they really hated each other.

 

Lawler should quit.  I hate hearing him.  I think he's on crystal meth or something.  He can't pay attention to the match.  All he does is talk about girls.  This is kinda trivial.....but what annoys me more than anything......he wears his tights and entrance attire to announce in every week.  Now, why do you have to wear tights to say "Puppies!" for 2 hours?  Give it up, you're not a wrestler, and you aren't much of a commentator.

 

I can't comment on Michael Cole, I haven't heard much of his commentary, b/c I don't get Smackdown! here.  I know he's fucking annoying in interviews though.

[Guest The Wicker Man]

Never mind your SLOBBERKNOCKERS and BARNBURNERS.. Cole is the worst there is..  Lets look at the evidence..

 

1. The most dangerous thing about Hell in a Cell is getting your fingers caught in the mesh.

 

2. He called the Dragon Sleeper 'Some kind of Submission Move'.

 

3. He hardly calls a match... He lamely discusses other angles interspersed with comments like 'Right Hand by the Rock'.. or 'Takedown by Austin', then continues to waffle about something else.

 

4. 'That looks like the OLD Stonecold!'  (Even though he looked exactly the same as a heel the previous week).

 

I think you get the picture.

[Guest bps "The Truth" 21]

I always preferred Heyman...he made JR bareable.

 

And got JR to say something that entertained me for the first time in years.

 

At (i think) Summerslam:  Heyman was talking about how great the spinaroonie was and how it would wipe out the WWF and JR said:

 

"If the WWF gets wiped out by the spinaroonie...then by gawd we deserve to be wiped out."

[Guest Nater]

Cole-

This guy needs to get banged up for cheap heat some more.

 

Heyman-

ONE SECOND AWAY!!! When he was putting his guys over, he was also pissing me the hell off. I'm sure 99% of the audience knows that 3 follows 2. His promos were to die for but commentary blew.

 

Lawler-

Feeds to the marks. Yes, yes lawler those are puppies and no you cant see more because this is on basic cable.

 

JR-

Him and Texas crew (anybody you can imagine saying "what" to in order to intimidate somebody) are the only viable connection wrestling has to 'rasslin. Some old traditions still here, but not worth 2 times a week.

 

Would you like a dose of Shiavonne and The Sexiest Man alive?

[Guest TheEnforcer]

Not much to talk about, huh? JR has become a parody of himself. He was very good in his NWA/WCW days, but once he got "Bells Pallsy", he hasn't been the same. Now he sounds "beaten like a government mule".

Amen...  he was great in his NWA/WCW days. Now, eh? at best.

 

But, he's the best going today which isn't saying much. Lawler TOTALLY sucks ass. I have no idea why ANYONE would give a rats ass about his commentary.