I'm fed up with J.R.

[Guest Army Eye]

JR is still orders of magnitude better than Cole, but he's slipping big time.  Every single week someone runs like a scalded dog, is whipped like a government mule, usually we get these several times in one night.  

 

There was a funny thread on RSPW about who would win a match between a scalded dog vs. a government mule

[Guest goodhelmet]

If JR and lawler don't watch it they will be in Tony Schiavone territory in no time. Hell, Gorilla Monson knew when to give it up and he was the greatest announcer EVER!. I never thought I'd say this but I miss Heyman's announcing.

[Guest goodhelmet]

If JR and lawler don't watch it they will be in Tony Schiavone territory in no time. Hell, Gorilla Monson knew when to give it up and he was the greatest announcer EVER!. I never thought I'd say this but I miss Heyman's announcing.

[Guest Some Guy]

JR is losing because of over exposure and over work, in my view, By GAWD.  He was a HOSs in WCW and up until last year in WWF.  Now it seems like Vince has WHIPPED HIM LIKE A SCALDED DOG to make him work too much.  

PS the King sucks now.  Bring back Heyman.

[Guest Scott Keith]

I think It should be Ross-Heyman and Styles-Hayes

[Guest InigoMontoya]

Personally I don't think I can listen to JR nearly choke on "Stone Cold! Stone Cold!" or any of his other heart attack catch phrases for much longer before I watch Raw muted. He's too one sided I think... doesn't seem to have many dimensions in his commentary.

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

A question: How in the hell are you going to use "hoss", "slobberknocker", and "Booger Red" in everyday conversation? That's gotta be fucking impossible unless you were TRYING to be funny.

 

 

And personally, I hate Styles. Cyrus was better, BUT I'd gladly watch Styles from now to the end of time as long as I didn't have to deal with Cole/Lawler/Ross ever again.

[Guest dreamer420]

JR is still the best in the business.  His work has slipped a little over the years but you guys are being pretty hard on him.  I only like the combo of Joey Styles and Cyrus better then JR and the King.

[Guest bps "The Truth" 21]

give me Styles/Heyman

 

The chemistry would be great, and the inside jokes would rule.

[Guest The Man in Blak]

give me Styles/Heyman

 

The chemistry would be great, and the inside jokes would rule.

I hope that's the team for the "wrestling-oriented Smackdown", assuming that they shift Heyman to book that division.  Of course, I would just take Styles by himself - he's always seemed to work well without a color person.

 

As far as Ross goes, I think that since they got him involved in so many storylines (the Kiss My Ass club, the 400-some times Austin has beat him up) that he's essentially obligated to play a cartoony version of himself, just to show the personality.  You know, like JR's been slammed in the head so many times he's not quite so calm and collected as he used to be...

 

Of course, that's just an excuse.  At any rate, his commentary has went waaaaaaaaay down the shitter since his prolonged absence with Bell's Palsy and, honestly, I think he's worked more than a couple of Raws a little sloshed.

[Guest Army Eye]

Cyrus kicks ass, he should be a manager and/or color man..

[Guest TheMikeSC]

I hope that's the team for the "wrestling-oriented Smackdown", assuming that they shift Heyman to book that division.  Of course, I would just take Styles by himself - he's always seemed to work well without a color person.>>

 

Man, put Styles on for two hours live every week and on PPV and you'd BEG for Ross to return.

 

If you think JR overuses his cliches (which he does), then you've forgotten what Joey is like.

 

I, personally, would like for the WWF to give Kevin Kelly a shot. He's certainly not bad and has never had a chance to really do much.

 

<<As far as Ross goes, I think that since they got him involved in so many storylines (the Kiss My Ass club, the 400-some times Austin has beat him up) that he's essentially obligated to play a cartoony version of himself, just to show the personality.  You know, like JR's been slammed in the head so many times he's not quite so calm and collected as he used to be...

 

Of course, that's just an excuse.  At any rate, his commentary has went waaaaaaaaay down the shitter since his prolonged absence with Bell's Palsy and, honestly, I think he's worked more than a couple of Raws a little sloshed. >>

 

His commentary HAS dropped a lot.

 

He's STILL the best in the business.

                           -=Mike

[Guest JHawk]

JR in the WWF is starting to look like Heenan did in his last year or so with WCW.  I just sort of get the impression that ever since Russo tried to take the focus off of wrestling and onto 20 minute skits that go nowhere that JR's heart just isn't in it anymore.  It doesn't help that Lawler is always trying to act like a dirty old man when JR's trying to do something silly like call a match.

 

And would somebody, for the love of God, tell Michael Cole how to properly get an angle over?  Or to learn the names of the moves?  Or to have his lips permanently sewed to Stephanie's so we never have to hear either's voice again?

[Guest Risk]

Or to have his lips permanently sewed to Stephanie's so we never have to hear either's voice again?

 

LMAO

[Guest 1000 Faces]

First off, Michael Cole on Smackdown a couple of weeks ago delivered perhaps the single most embarassing line of his career (and that's saying something):

 

"This handicap match has become a two-on-one affair!"

 

He sucks.

 

Ross also sucks, and he is slipping mightily.  Any dramatic weight he once lent to angles is long gone, and he's even missing important points that he needs to address in order to get angles over (the most glaring example is his fudging of the explanation of the Maven title shot a few weeks ago ... I mean, that was so easy to explain and he botched it).

 

Lawler ... of course, we all know he sucks.

 

Heyman was fantastic, and carried Ross's dead ass during the months he worked with him.  It was amazing to watch Heyman being the lively, "into it" one and Ross being the blatant corporate shill who doesn't seem to care if it doesn't involve Bradshaw or Steve Austin.

Joey Styles sucks ... he suuuuuuuuuuuucks.  I'd rather set myself on fire than here him give cutesy names to every single move by every single worker.  And that was all he did, besides saying "Oh my GOD!" when Kid Kash tried to kill himself once a week.

 

What are the alternatives?  Kelly's not too bad (from what I've heard on Metal), and he's probably one of the most knowledgeable people in the company.  Chris Leary needs work, both on his calling of moves and his "Scott Keith Soft Rock DJ" voice.  Hayes can be spectacular when he's allowed to, ya know, CALL A MATCH rather than recap angles.  Coachman's learning curve is actually quite high, but he's not quite there yet.

 

Dare I say ... bring back Schiavone?  He CAN be good as long as he keeps his hyperbole under control.

 

Later on ...

[Guest Tigerdrivah91]

I have been pissed with that fat cowboy for ages.

HE NEVER EVER calls a match properly

 

Matt is called Jeff?

Edge is called Christian?

Spike is called Taz?

Test is called Matt?

and it goes on and on and on

 

and things like Matt just ddts Matt WTF!?

 

 

Tell me why

 

1. Business NEVER picks up

2. He only cares about head size

3. Why does the bottom always drop out for Christians opponents?

4. Why is a spear a takedown and vice versa?

 

Booger Red to me is when you get punched in the nose and snot comes out

 

Styles is 10000X better than Ross, all the Styles haters are scared of the rock not being mentioned for 5 minutes and for  a match actually being called right

[Guest goodhelmet]

I enjoyed Styles. He would actually get the name of the moves right and I can appreciate that.

 

As for Lawler, his act is done. After his divorce it's just creepy watching him fawn over the women. Either call the match or get the hell off of my screen.

 

Ross is doing WCW level mistakes. Shilling other angles during matches then drawing attention to it by apologizing. He could give a shit about anyone not named Rock, the Game, Stone Cold, or Taker. How many times did he confuse Jericho and Benoit? I would tell the WWF to fire him but I don't want Cole in his spot and I don't see them grooming anybody to take the fat man's place.

 

Let there be no doubt that the best announcing duo will always and forever be Jesse Ventura and Gorilla Monsoon. We can all agree that the bar has been raised in wrestling but when you watch those old matches, Jesse and Gorilla made you care about the action in the ring. They sold the feuds, knew the moves and interacted with each other perfectly.

 

With the WWF looking like WCW more and more everyday, it's easy to be critical of the workers but the announcers can kill an enjoyable match and I resent them for that.

[Guest WWF4Life]

I think Ross and Lawler are still awesome together. They manage to add extra depth to the show. I hope they stay on air for a long time. =)

[Guest old_mort_wwfe]

Well I guess there could be worse people you could have calling matches. Imagine a 4-way team of Michael Cole, Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes and Tony Schiavone..enough to poke your eyes out eh?

 

 

BY GAWD!!!..SOMEONE STOP THE DAMN THREAD!!!!!..IM BEING BEATEN LIKE A GOVERNMENT MULE!!!..IM A HOSS!!..THOSE SMARKS ARE CEREBRAL ASSASSINS!!!...DAMN THEIR SOULS!! DAMN THEIR SOULS!!!!

[Guest Army Eye]

those four are pretty brutal.. but Mongo and Lee Marshall I would insert instead of Mooney and Hayes

[Guest Dick Hertz]

I didnt realize how often he says "beaten like a government mule/ scalded dog" until I read thi thread. The other one is "hes taking himout to the woodshed." It was probably cool to say that stuff back in Oklahoma in the 50s, but not now. He needs some new catchphrases. Get rid of JR and bring back Lord Alfred Hayes. Lord Alfred + the king on raw = ratings!

[Guest Some Guy]

I was just watching the Rebellion DVD and one of the extras is Rock vs. Y2J for the WCW belt on Raw (Rock won).  As the Rock was coming to the ring JR says, "The place is NOW and the time is HERE...."  There have been way to many stupid mistakes like that by him lately.

I thought that Heyman gave Ross the antagonist that he needed, not the yes man babyface that the King has become.  Heyman was a traditional heel color man like Heenan and Ventura.  Plus he was funny as well, after the split Ross and Heyman should do Smackdown and King and Cole or whoever should do Raw.

[Guest AM The Kid]

Just this RAW during the Hardy Boys vs. Christian and Storm match JR made a dumbass mistake. ~ "And Christian knocks Edge off the apron...Lance Storm off the apron."

 

He's losing it, I cannot stand his commentating. If you look back at his work in 1997 he was good, he called the matches...not the main event during the first match. I'm sick of him. He can get going along with The King, bring on Micheal Hayes and Paul Heyman.

[Guest Risk]

JR's contract now states he cannot be dismissed for any reason...

[Guest The Wicker Man]

I have no problems with Joey Styles, Unless he yells out 'TOTAL ELIMINATION'.

 

Sure, Monsoon and Jesse ruled on commentary. My personal favourite moments with them were during the Hulkamaniacs vs Million $ Team match at the '89 Series and the Rhodes/Sapphire vs Sherri/Savage match at WM 6. Check them out if you can.. Aside from those 2 classics,, they were equally balanced and both carried each other well.

 

Remember how much Piper sucked as commentator in the early 90s? Damn that was awful.

 

Mind you, I suppose Vince was even worse.... " ONE, TWO, THREE.. HE GOT HIM!! HE GOT HIM!!" (even though the wrestler kicked out on a one count)

 

And there he was... he owned the company the whole damn time..  LOL.. For years I thought Jack Tunney owned it.. Where did he go anyway?

[Guest cabbageboy]

PWI actually told me that Vince owned the WWF about 10 years ago when I used to read it.  That's how I found out.  Until then I just sorta thought there were various promoters who reported to Tunney or something.  

 

I agree that the best announcers ever were Gorilla and Jesse, followed closely by Gorilla when he teamed with Heenan.  The whole thing where Gorilla ranted at the Brain at WM 8 is classic:

 

Bobby:  "I went down to see Flair!"

Gorilla:  "You're a liar!"

Bobby:  "Flair just got screwed dammit!"

Gorilla:  "You're a liar!"

 

Classic stuff.

 

Getting back to PWI for one last note...this might sound silly but it disillusioned me when I read the arena reports section for the first time.  At the time the WWF had a BUNCH of stale feuds (Bret/Shawn for the IC, Macho/Flair, LOD/Beverlys, Na. Disasters/Money Inc., Warrior/Shango, etc.) and they hyped this stuff constantly on TV from like April to August in 1992!  Imagine my shock when I read these reports that these matches were all happening yet the WWF never mentioned it on TV.  I would attend my first WWF show later that year, so I had no idea what matches took place on a typical card.  I figured it was the squash stuff they'd show on TV.  Imagine how shattered I was to find that Shango was jobbing to Warrior on EVERY house show but still cursing him on TV.

 

It was funny but even at age 12 I realized something that it took the WWF another 6 years to realize: They needed to get rid of these crappy jobber matches, and show the good wrestlers against each other on TV.

[Guest Slapnuts00]

Well, I figure I'd throw in my thoughts:

 

-Yes JR is unbearable these days. It's amazing how good he was in the WCW days but now a days I can't listen to him anymore. Lawler's TERRIBLE commentarry just makes it worse. Is anyone else annoyed that Lawler just CANT SHUT UP during a wrestler promo. I mean just a made up example here:

 

The Rock: "The Rock has an issue with Stone Cold!"

King: "Hear that, JR? An issue!"

The Rock: "I want to challenge him to a match..."

King: "A match! Where?"

The Rock: "At Wrestlemania, if he has the guts!"

King: "Does he have the guts, JR?!"

 

I just feel like running down there and yelling SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU OVER THE HILL JACKASS.

 

Anyway, back to JR, can anyone answer these few basic questions for me:

 

-What exactly is a government mule? And why does it get whipped?

 

-How does one "stomp a mudhole?" or "walk it dry" for that matter?

 

-Has anyone actually seen a drunkman tap?

 

-What the FUCK is a booger red?

 

-What happens in the woodshed?

 

-Has anyone actually ever seen an "ass kicking contest"? or better yet, a one legged man participating in it?

 

-What the hell is a pet coon? And why is it so crazy for that matter?

 

O and if Michael Cole says "sickening thud" one more time, I will shoot him. God I hate the little bastard's commentarry. I'm telling you the PERFECT thing to do with Michael Cole if they are intent on having him continue to be a major announcer is TURN HIM HEEL. Seriously, have something happen on air that disgruntles him and just have him be pissed off and bitter. I think it would work great.

 

Also, Styles is the best play by play guy out there, and the WWF should strive to pick him up. He has an insane knowledge of wrestling moves, actually calls the match and gets over everyone involved and keeps it interesting. I do not find "Oh My God" duringa huge bump annoying especially compared with JR's played "BY GOD! HE MIGHT BE BROKEN IN HALF!! DAMNITTT!!!" Teamed with Cyrus they had great chemistry, but I think pairing Styles with his former boss just might work.

 

Also for the record Monsoon and Heenan were my favorite team ever. With Jesse he was good too. I liked JR and even Tony in the early 90s of WCW, and liked Styles especially with Cyrus...

[Guest Army Eye]

Well, I figure I'd throw in my thoughts:

 

-Yes JR is unbearable these days. It's amazing how good he was in the WCW days but now a days I can't listen to him anymore. Lawler's TERRIBLE commentarry just makes it worse. Is anyone else annoyed that Lawler just CANT SHUT UP during a wrestler promo. I mean just a made up example here:

 

The Rock: "The Rock has an issue with Stone Cold!"

King: "Hear that, JR? An issue!"

The Rock: "I want to challenge him to a match..."

King: "A match! Where?"

The Rock: "At Wrestlemania, if he has the guts!"

King: "Does he have the guts, JR?!"

oh man.. yes yes YES.  Irritating beyond belief

[Guest Redhawk]

Why is every other play-by-play option so horrible? I think JR is purposely hiring these guys that no one wants to hear (Cole, Coach, etc.) in order to protect his spot. No threat=job security, you know.

[Guest ])r. ])eath]

Fellas', we're forgetting the four most used Jim Ross quotes. Lemme spell em' out for ya'.

 

"Unorthodox style"

"Educated feet"

"Oklahoma Sooners"

"Barbeque sauce"

 

Now, mix them with the infamous

 

"My mother just turned in her grave"

"Why Austin why? Why?"

"Hoss"

"My Gawd, he must be broken in half"

"slobberknocker"

"Woodshed"

"One-legged man in an ass kicking contest"

"This man has a family"

"This is sick"

and the 30 other one-liners, and you can grasp why so many people want to talk negatively about him.

 

Jim Ross should only play off camera roles now. He was good, but he should hang it up.