Promo: Of Broken Necks and Bitter Paths

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

“Ask your friend…ask Edwin MacPhisto…what it feels like…to break a man’s neck.”

 

“What?”

 

“What I said,” says Chris Raynor, leaning on the doorframe, leering in at his reclining leader, “is this: ‘ask your friend what it feels like to break a man’s neck.’ ” Edwin MacPhisto looks up from his copy of Rolling Stone magazine.

 

“Chris, look. What Silent said--”

 

“I know, Edwin, I know. It doesn’t mean anything, I know Silent’s just trying to get into our heads.” Raynor’s voice has a touch of the sarcastic to it as he walks into the room and kicks the ottoman out from under Edwin’s feet, sitting down on it himself. “What I’m wondering,” he continues, looking down at his feet, “is why he’d say a thing like that, of all the things he could say.”

 

Edwin blinks.

 

“I mean,” continues Raynor, looking up now, “he could have said that he’d just beaten the piss out of me. Could have said that he was the greatest, that the Clan was going to eat our brains. But, no. He says…ask Edwin MacPhisto what it feels like--”

 

“—to a break man’s neck! I heard you the first time, Chris!”

 

“Well…then what DOES it feel like, fearless leader?”

 

“Chris,” says Edwin, rolling his eyes with exaggeration, “you know I don’t know how to answer that question.”

 

“Then why did he say it? Edwin, ‘breaking a neck’ isn’t a phrase you just toss around like ‘I’m going to go walk the dog,’ or ‘Look at this delightful can of peaches,’ you know? I mean--”

 

“Chris. I said I don’t know what he’s talking about. All right? Is that enough, or do you want me to make something up about cracking, popping, or…or…”

 

“Fine,” huffs Raynor, cutting Edwin off as he trails out. “Here’s another question. What were you thinking on Monday? Really, Edwin…”

 

“What? What’d I do?”

 

“When you went after Wilson! Geez! Edwin, that’s the oldest trick in the tag match book!” Raynor gets to his feet, walking around the room, gesturing as he explains. “They send in someone to distract, they isolate the legal man”—he pauses, working out a kink in his left shoulder—“and they get the win, and the belts, and everything that matters!”

 

“Chris, I’m sorry--”

 

“I’m not asking for an apology, Edwin, all right?” Raynor sits down again, obviously frustrated. He starts to speak, but catches himself, takes a breath, pauses…and then looks up again, speaking with the calmest sincerity he can muster. “Just…keep your eyes open, all right? The tag belts mean a lot to me…meant a lot to me…and maybe we’ll get another shot at them, who knows. Stubby’s nuts, but he doesn’t like Wilson or the M7 any more than us…it’s just…it sucks, all right?” Raynor’s tone gets a bitter hotter, more perturbed. “You’ve still got your world title, but I go out there every night in every tag and bust my hump for the Carnival--”

 

“Now hold up a second there, Chrissy-boy, are you saying--”

 

“Uh…guys? What’s going on?” Edwin and Raynor both turn from their now-risen positions, cut off in the midst of argument as Z appears in the doorway. “Something up?”

 

“Not much, Z,” mutters Edwin. “Chris was just telling me how he thinks the best idea right now would be just to feed me to Silent on a silver platter so he could--”

 

“I didn’t say anything like that at all--”

 

“Well you’ve clearly been insinuating something this whole time--”

 

“Guys! Guys! Jeez o’ pete, and not the Longdogger! Settle down!” Z stumbles forward, all earnest gazes and good nature as he grabs a shoulder of each of his stablemates, gently shoving them back down into their seats. “What’s gotten into you two?”

 

“Post tag-title reign blues, Z,” cracks Edwin, grinning. “I’ve seen Chris go through withdrawal a couple times, and it’s not pretty--”

 

“REAL cute, Edwin, real cute…”

 

“We may have to up the morphine dosage--”

 

“Edwin,” whispers Z, “don’t push him…”

 

“Eddie Mac, I am THIS close--”

 

“—to covering me in maple syrup and spray-painting a mural all over my face?”

 

“…not ONCE have I used maple syrup, Edwin. Aunt Jemima, yes…but not maple.” And somehow…Raynor grins. Z is agape.

 

“…that’s it? You guys are done?”

 

“It’s like working a very simple computer, Z. All you have to do is break the tension and mondo-Chris goes back to normal. Do you want to yell at me too, by the way?”

 

“Uh…” ventures Z, taking a seat of his own. “No?”

 

“Ooh. How refreshing.” Edwin heads back to his Rolling Stone. “Forgive me, gentlemen. Thanks to my buffoonery and bad timing on Smarkdown, I’ve gone and given Wilson something else to boast about, and probably re-made an enemy of Fallout as well. Chris, doesn’t it just burst your bubble to see Wilson with that ICTV belt, the one that we’ve both held, wrapped around his waist? Grotesque.” A cough. “Well, back to my magazine. I’ll see you both later.”

 

“Edwin, look,” starts Raynor, looking a little sheepish…but still wary. “All I want to know is--” but Edwin cuts him off before he can go anywhere, throwing down the magazine.

 

“Chris, I told you, I don’t know what Silent’s talking about, period!”

 

Raynor’s mild grin goes rigidly perturbed.

 

“I wasn’t asking about Silent.” Chris Raynor stands up and turns to Z. “I’m going to go lift some weights. Seeya.”

 

With that, he walks out the door. Edwin MacPhisto sighs.

 

“Edwin? Uh…” Z doesn’t know exactly what it’s safe to say, so he very cautiously makes a go of it. “Was Chris asking about--”

 

“Goooo ask Edwin blah blah blah, breaking necks, blah, blah, blah…”

 

“Riight. Uh…I’m gonna guess this is one of those things you kind of don’t want to talk about.”

 

“You win the big prize, my boy!”

 

“…well…you know…”

 

Edwin shifts his eyes. “What?”

 

“You’re going to have to talk about it sometime, Edwin.” Frowning a little, Z turns…waves…and steps out the door, maybe to go talk some sense into the other half of the former tag team champs. Edwin gets to his feet and follows to the door as Z leaves, but the one-letter-wonder is down the hall before Edwin can stop him.

 

“I don’t have to talk about it!” he shouts. “I don’t! What’s happened is dead, and buried, and is done for, and more a pack of wild lies than any bloody other thing! All I have to deal with is what’s right here, right now…ah, bugger all.” Z’s a disappearing dot far in the distance…and Edwin MacPhisto gives the doorframe a light smack before stumbling his way back to the chair, to the discarded magazine…which he throws right back down on the floor as he stares at the ceiling.

 

“Why can’t I just get some bloody rest?”

[Guest TheAntipop]

This promo caused much movement in the front area of my pants.

[Guest Kibagami]

::no-sells Galatea::

 

He's LYYYYYYYYYYYYYYING to you all! Believe ME! My wholesome, neck-snapping self NEVER lies to ANYbody! Honest to goodness, peoples.

 

Good stuff, Edwin. CARNIVAL TENSION~! is a rarity nowadays, but always nice to see.

 

S.

[Guest Rabbi_wilson13]

Ooo...Carnival tension. Silent by himself, nor M7 on their lonesome, could not do it, by by golly our un-systematic and completely unorganized neck-breaking and belt takin' is taking a toll on them happy-go-lucky folks who ride ferris wheels at midnight.

 

Nice promo. Short, sweet, effective.

[Guest Insanityman]

Bravo, so great to see the tension rise. But god damn you guys for making this keep going until the *better be* huge blowoff match and having a nice payoff from this. Because I wanna' see what happens.

[Guest Spark144]

But where's my candy...?

[Guest Insanityman]

SPARK~!

 

 

 

 

 

Where is my candy too?

[Guest chirs3]

1) More comments, ya bastards!

 

2) SPARK~! OMGODZ!!!11!!11!!1!

[Guest -Cutthroat-]

BAW GAWD!!!! ITS SPA- WHERES MY CANDY!!!!!

 

Go Spark! High Fliers 4 life!!!!

[Guest DiabloIIFreak1010]

BAW GAWD!!!! ITS SPA- WHERES MY CANDY!!!!!

 

Go Spark! High Fliers 4 life!!!!

::Glares at Cutthroat::

 

Respect 'yo elders, son.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Spark!!

 

You can have free candy. As for the rest of you...it was a ruse.

 

That seems to have failed. Sigh.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

I read it, yessiri, and my thoughts are...SPARK! OH MY GOD! I'M NOT GONNA COMMENT, JUST GET OFF TOPIC AND YELL ABOUT SPARK! WOO! CANDY! SPARK! WOO!

 

-Taylor "Indepth Comments Yo" Thompson

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

...I hate you so much, TNT. People complain to me about not understanding where the storyline is headed...but they don't read the promos.

 

It kinda doesn't work. Ah well. At least, well, Spark is here.

[Guest HVilleThugg]

Hey now....I read it....so you should be happy since I'm the most important person here....

 

Huh?

 

I'm not??

 

Well....fine....but I read it anyway. Nice job, as per usual....Carny tension is always a plus since I spent so much of my career hating and trying to destroy them. I hope the Midnight Carnival crumbles to the ground...hee hee.

 

Da "Spizzark!" H

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

G0R0 BEINGZZZ EATINGS AOLL Y0R CAN DY!~!!!!

 

 

 

...uhhh, but seriously. Awesome promo from Eddy Mac. We see Edwin in full defense mode, and get a couple of zingers out of Raynor. Plus, random LDP plugs kick ass.

[Guest realitycheck]

Hey, hey, I'm commenting, I'm commenting! Ph34r my lazyness.

 

Anyway... I think those of you who are still confuzzled about where this storyline is headed--or where it's come from, I should say--should read the first five lines of this promo 17 times. Then, the gears might slowly begin to turn...

 

Anyway, outside of that big, blazing neon sign at the beginning, this was also pretty solid for telling about a bit of the unrest in camp Carnival. Great work as always by the Fearless Leader.

[Guest kelloggs]

I swear that this little Raynor/Edwin conflict adds so much to the Edwin/Silent thing. And Z's character is just the perfect fit for Edwin to bounce stuff off. Me likes it.

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

I'm in agreement with the Franchise. I really like Z's progression as a character and his interaction with Edwin as a mentor/protege-like relationship.

 

I've already commented, but I just wanted to add that note. Keep it up.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Ah, I'm really glad you guys like that stuff. This:

 

“Riight. Uh…I’m gonna guess this is one of those things you kind of don’t want to talk about.”

 

“You win the big prize, my boy!”

 

“…well…you know…”

 

Edwin shifts his eyes. “What?”

 

“You’re going to have to talk about it sometime, Edwin.”

 

is probably my favorite part, looking back. A bit of the mentor/protege turnaround was what I was going for. So glad it worked, woo. Thanks for the comments, guys.

[Guest Ace309]

Well, I, for one, liked it.

 

Although... it might just be me, but the mind games are getting pretty heavy. I'm starting to think Lerrin Breggan should hoss his way into this storyline once a month, just to simplify things a little.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

HOSSALICIOUS!

 

Between me, JD, Silent, and Wilson...well, we're gonna need a fancy reference sheet to see where the mindgames and political alliances line up, Tom. I'll get right on it.

 

...

 

::doesn't actually get on it::