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Guest Your God

An Idea For Michael Cole

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Guest Your God

Michael Cole sucks.  We all know that and we've known that for years.  He's annoying, he has a grating voice, and he's not cut out in anyway to be an announcer.  Yet he (dis)graces our TV every Thursday night on SMACKDOWN!.

 

How I Thought Of This:  Flashback to last year, when Austin beat him down on SMACKDOWN.  The week later, Cole left the commentary position, giving the middle finger to Austin along the way.  Of course, UPN edited out the middle finger, making Cole seem like even more of a dork.  However, the middle finger itself proves it... Cole does have somewhat of a badass inside of him, hidden by all the BUTT kissing and face pandering.

 

My idea:  Have a big heel come out one week (Undertaker, Test, etc.) and beat him down again.  Have JR or Coach fill in for him for the next little while, saying that he was badly injured from the attack.  After a month or so, Cole runs in during a match between that heel and a face with a tire iron or baseball bat...and waffles the face.  Cole than cuts a profanity-laden interview about being tired of being mocked and beaten, and procedes to become a heel manager.

 

This idea may seem ludicrous, but think...

 

1.  It'll get Cole away from the commentator's position.

 

2.  People hate him already because he's "Michael Cole." Turning him heel will make them hate him even more.

 

3.  It'll give the WWF a heel manager, and we haven't had a good one of those in a while.  In a pinch, if the WWF needs a last minute idea for an undercard match, they can do a "If Face Wins, He Gets Five Minutes With Michael Cole" type deal in a pinch.

 

Your thoughts?

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Guest Tony149
Sounds good.  Make him Billy and Chuck's manager

That's a helluva idea. :) Anything to make Cole leave the announce booth.

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Guest Some Guy

Not a bad idea.  It would be pretty funny to watch him get the shit kicked out of him.  Let Tazz suplex the shit out of him, Taker give him the Last Ride and Tombstone, and any other painful move that there is until he quits the promotion.  Either that or just introduce him to Bradshaw in the shower and say, "Here Michael, hold this baby oil for a second."

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Guest Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye
i have an idea for Michael Cole: send him over to pakistan posing as a reporter

 

:D

Please no pictures for this one though

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Guest Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye
Billy, Chuck, and Michael?  The Ambiously Gay Trio?  Sounds good to me.

 

god knows he's already got the hair for it...

 

I would pay to see him on a tape all fucked up. And then, slit. Goodbye Michael Cole.

 

And somewhere a small boy cries over the loss of his hero. Or would he actually be crying because he's being forced to go to "Special school"?

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Guest saturnmark4life

A heel cole would be damn funny, maybe kinda like Bill Alphonso in ECW. I think Mike Sanders is being lined up for Billy n Chuck's manager.

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Guest Slapnuts00

I've said it a few times, TURN COLE HEEL. Keep as an announcer even, have something disgruntle him and have him act all bitter and pissed off. It would be great, kinda like the act JR played back in 96-97 after getting pissed at Vince. Although you'd need a new straight man...but I think it could work...

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Guest X-Factor Corperation

Micheal Cole rocks! He should get attacked by The Undertaker and then after being gone for a month return and attack The Undertaker. Then score a clean pinfall victory over him with the help of Maven, The Rock, Al Snow, Test, and Big Bossman.

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Guest cobainwasmurdered

"Micheal Cole rocks! He should get attacked by The Undertaker and then after being gone for a month return and attack The Undertaker. Then score a clean pinfall victory over him with the help of Maven, The Rock, Al Snow, Test, and Big Bossman."

 

OH OH OH that's a great idea but why stop there while we're doing that let's fire benoit and give david arquette the tittle! man wouldn't THAT be 2 sweet???

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Guest Choken One

I know, Let's dump that dead weight and hire true talent like Arquette! Seriously, No body would notice beniot was missing.

 

If there was a WWF "Survivor"...Beniot would win on account of no one knowing he was even there.

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Guest muswp1

People, don't mention Arquette.  He was the worst idea in wrestling history.  Michael Cole could never do anything that would put him next to that idiot.  The idea of making him into a heel manager would be interesting, but Vince and Co. would screw it up for sure.

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Guest cobainwasmurdered

Oh and then lets elimenate the wrestling all together and just have vince and stephanie talk for two hours!

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Guest Army Eye

It speak volumes that we think Cole becoming a heel manager would be a fantastic idea if it meant getting him off commentary.

 

I think ARQUETTE on commentary would be better by the way.  Arquette shilling 1-800-CALL-ATT for two hours.  Yes that would be better.

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Guest Ulf ist Gut

you could always do a deal whereby Cole becomes one of the "special" managers in XPW. Then everyones happy!

 

ps. Ulf ist Gut

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Guest Your God
Oh and then lets elimenate the wrestling all together and just have vince and stephanie talk for two hours!

Hasn't that already happened?

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Guest benoitrules2000

I have wanted for so long for micheal cole to belt someone(The rock)with a chair.

It would make perfect sense because all the wrestlers treat him like shit so one day the rock disses him and five seconds later he comes back screaming and smashes him with a chair!

I'd mark out like crazy!

 

BTW I don't think everyone should be so hard on the poor guy, sure he sucks, but he's proven that even losers have hope that they can someday be in the wwf.

 

ITCAN HAPPEN!!!JUST ASK ME!!!!-MICHEAL COLE

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Guest InigoMontoya

I agree with all those (serious) posts. Cole is better as an interviewer. I wonder how he would go in front of an audience though.

It would be cool to give the commentators more of an angle, rather than JR getting his ass kicked every now and then, put one in a real angle.

It would be hilarious if he came back later as a commentator, and King looked at him weird, so Cole dragged him to the ring and laid him out, lol, in the middle of a match they were supposed to be calling. That way we get a few moments of silent bliss. No goofy calls and no teenage 40-50 years olds screaming.

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Guest WWF4Life

I think a heel Michael Cole could work. Jim Ross as a heel announcer was fun...Also, if Kevin Kelly can be a quality heel manager, then Cole can as well. Cole would need a gimmick though...Cornette had a tennis racket, Dangerously had a mobile phone, what could Cole have???

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Guest Slapnuts00

I can see it now, this could really work. Its too bad the WWF isn't original and doesn't think of this shit.

Rock could come down for an interview on RAW with MIchael Cole in the ring (even though it's rare to have a in-ring interviewer anymore). Rock could treat him like he always does and basically tells him to piss off, and starts the interview on his own. Cole could just stand blank face in the corner and all of a sudden take out a tire iron or something and just BLINDSIDE the Rock with it, and just go postal on him. Then he picks up the microphone and screaming really pissed off "For FOUR years I have put up with your SHIT! Listen to me you overrated self absorbed son of a bitch, I am not your source of amusement, I am a HUMAN BEING DAMNIT! If you can't get that through your thick, stupid scull, then you can just go to hell! Screw you Rock, and screw all you fans who have cheered him. This man is a miserable, insecure human being who enjoys embarassing others to make himself feel better. If you all want to support bullies fine, but I'm done being happy, fan friendly Michael Cole. You think it's funny? I have a family! You can kiss my ass!" (throws down mic, as JR and King wonders what the hell has happened).

Then on Smackdown just have his commenrtarry be way less enthusiastic and just plain bitter and pissed off, espeically towards Rock. Hell, all the faces when Austin comes out he could make snide remakrs about how he's a no good alcoholic who makes light of Scott Hall's issues, and how much he hates "WHAT" and thinks its annoying. It would work for King, since he's always so rah rah happy anyway, to play foil to him.

Damn, I just wasted my time writing all that out, even though the WWF will NEVER use it. I wish I could book :-(

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Guest Risk
Cole would need a gimmick though...Cornette had a tennis racket, Dangerously had a mobile phone, what could Cole have???

 

Hair gel, mace, a rubber d*ck, a microphone he stole so he could practice at home, Al Snow's plastic Head, a brick, a hammer, a football helmet, a cane, kendo stick, singapore cane, singapore cane wrapped in barbed wire, a bat, BEACH sand, a tire iron, a crowbar, Taz, a taser, a pucket of paint, a fire estinguiser, a roll of quarters, or a guitar.

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Guest me

Since he'd be with Chuck and Billy, give him the Lex Flexor

 

Ha ha, the Ambiguously Gay Trio...Michael will be experiencing a sickening thud in ways never before intended....

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