Stupid customers

[Guest Youth N Asia]

Ok...this was a couple of weeks ago

 

I'm working in my dad's bookstore (which I do often), a woman buys two books and I put them in a small paper bag (which I do often)

 

She smiles and hands me back the bag "Oh, save a tree"

 

I shake the bag and say "It was too late for this one..."

 

I've said that a couple of times before...cause "save a tree is a stupid thing to say about a bag"...it usually gets a small chuckle from the customer...

 

This woman went from a friendly smile to a cold stare..."I don't think that's funny." Then she turns around and stomps out.

 

WHAT THE HELL!!! She's buying BOOKS! Made of PAPER! much like her beloved trees, and one was Stephen King's "THE STAND", not the old version, the revamped 1,100 page one.

 

WHat a firggin hypocrate!

[Guest HBK16]

I get a lot of idiots when I am working. I work at an AMC Movie Theater. So if I am working the concession stand I get some people that ask for only 2 small pieces of ice. How the hell am I gonna make them small. The I get some that go crazy if we don't have pretzels. I mean, she cussed me out and then talked to my manager. I tell you there's crazy people out there.

[Guest Sebastian_the_Bastard]

Ha... simply hilarious

[Guest dreamer420]

I work as tech support for an ISP so believe me, I have to deal with my share of complete morons on a daily basis. Too many to even mention.

[Guest MrRant]

And boy could we swap stories there Dreamer as I used to work for Cox.Net and now work for ATTBI.

[Guest Bosstones Fan]

I get a lot of idiots when I am working.  I work at an AMC Movie Theater.  

Enough said, man. I too once worked at an AMC movie theater (way back in the summer of '96...it was my very first "real" job), so I totally understand where you're coming from. I worked as an usher, so I didn't have to deal with any of the morons in the concession line.

 

BUT, I did have to deal with this one bitch who had bought a ticket to Independence Day. Picture this: it's about 10 minutes into the matinee showing of ID4; I'm outside in the lobby sweeping up, waiting for The Nutty Professor to let out so I can go clean up after the slobs. Said lady walks out of the ID4 theater and approaches me.

 

"Excuse me," she says.

 

"Yes ma'am?"

 

"There's someone sitting in my seat." (as if there were reserved seats or something)

 

"Someone's sitting in your seat?"

 

"Yes. I got up to go get popcorn and when I came back some guy had taken my seat."

 

"Ok..." I said, wondering just what the hell she expects me to do about this. "Uh, was someone holding your seat for you?"

 

"No. I'm by myself. But he sat in my seat."

 

"Well, ma'am, I don't really know how to help you."

 

"Make him give me seat back!" She was a little aggravated.

 

"Um, I'm sorry ma'am, but I can't do that."

 

"WHY NOT?"

 

"Because we do not have reserved seating, ma'am. It's first come, first served."

 

"BUT I WAS SITTING THERE FIRST!!"

 

"Yes, ma'am, I understand that, but you left your seat. We can't hold that seat for you."

 

She folded her arms across her chest and said, "So you can't do anything?"

 

"No, ma'am, I'm sorry."

 

"I want to speak to your manager."

 

"Fine. Wait right here and I'll go get a manager."

 

So I go and get the manager. He comes over, listens to the woman's story, and then begins to explain that her ticket does not guarantee her a specific seat; it only guarantees her a seat in the theater. He also backed me up, saying that the theater doesn't hold seats. So she got pissed at him, and then make a threat: either we give her her seat back or she was leaving to go a half mile down the road to another theater. My manager basically told her to fuck off (in a diplomatic way of course), so she left in a huff, leaving her popcorn in the theater.

 

After she was out of earshot, my manager turned to me and asked, "What the fuck was that about?"

 

"I dunno. I guess she really wanted that seat."

 

"What a dumb whore," he said. Then he walked off.

 

 

And that's about the best dumb customer story I have from AMC. I have tons more from my stint as a deli worker in college, but I don't want to bore anyone with those.

[Guest the 1inch punch]

Ever see that bit in Clerks where Dante and Randal discuss the customers they hate the most

 

Actaully, im a Stock Jockey in Dunnes (like Walmart i suppose, only Irish), and you get the most ridiculous "wheres the (product)" and its usually staring them in the face, and wev'e recently had a re-fit and everythings been moved, so they complain about that, or the fact that we dont stock something we stopped elling in 1985 (mainly old-ass cleaning stuff)

[Guest DeputyHawk]

I used to work at the Tourist Board in Edinburgh, Scotland. The best I ever heard was a huge overweight American guy say to me "It was real good of you guys to build the castle right next to the railway station". What the hell can you say to that apart from to smile and nod.

[Guest HBK16]

I get a lot of idiots when I am working.  I work at an AMC Movie Theater.  

Enough said, man. I too once worked at an AMC movie theater (way back in the summer of '96...it was my very first "real" job), so I totally understand where you're coming from. I worked as an usher, so I didn't have to deal with any of the morons in the concession line.

 

BUT, I did have to deal with this one bitch who had bought a ticket to Independence Day. Picture this: it's about 10 minutes into the matinee showing of ID4; I'm outside in the lobby sweeping up, waiting for The Nutty Professor to let out so I can go clean up after the slobs. Said lady walks out of the ID4 theater and approaches me.

 

"Excuse me," she says.

 

"Yes ma'am?"

 

"There's someone sitting in my seat." (as if there were reserved seats or something)

 

"Someone's sitting in your seat?"

 

"Yes. I got up to go get popcorn and when I came back some guy had taken my seat."

 

"Ok..." I said, wondering just what the hell she expects me to do about this. "Uh, was someone holding your seat for you?"

 

"No. I'm by myself. But he sat in my seat."

 

"Well, ma'am, I don't really know how to help you."

 

"Make him give me seat back!" She was a little aggravated.

 

"Um, I'm sorry ma'am, but I can't do that."

 

"WHY NOT?"

 

"Because we do not have reserved seating, ma'am. It's first come, first served."

 

"BUT I WAS SITTING THERE FIRST!!"

 

"Yes, ma'am, I understand that, but you left your seat. We can't hold that seat for you."

 

She folded her arms across her chest and said, "So you can't do anything?"

 

"No, ma'am, I'm sorry."

 

"I want to speak to your manager."

 

"Fine. Wait right here and I'll go get a manager."

 

So I go and get the manager. He comes over, listens to the woman's story, and then begins to explain that her ticket does not guarantee her a specific seat; it only guarantees her a seat in the theater. He also backed me up, saying that the theater doesn't hold seats. So she got pissed at him, and then make a threat: either we give her her seat back or she was leaving to go a half mile down the road to another theater. My manager basically told her to fuck off (in a diplomatic way of course), so she left in a huff, leaving her popcorn in the theater.

 

After she was out of earshot, my manager turned to me and asked, "What the fuck was that about?"

 

"I dunno. I guess she really wanted that seat."

 

"What a dumb whore," he said. Then he walked off.

 

 

And that's about the best dumb customer story I have from AMC. I have tons more from my stint as a deli worker in college, but I don't want to bore anyone with those.

Lol. Yeah, some people can be real idiots. I have only been there for a few months but I have gotten my fair share of idiots. Like a fight in the theater, some one sneaking in, someone throwing the candy back at me. It gets annoying. Hopefully I don't explode on someone.

[Guest Bosstones Fan]

It gets annoying. Hopefully I don't explode on someone.

Ah, come on, just save it all for your last day of work. At least then you can go out in a blaze of glory.

 

We had a guy get fired from that theater that same summer for violating theater dress code. He was wearing an earring after they had posted a huge sign in the lounge that specifically said "no earrings allowed."

 

On the day he got fired one of the managers (not the same one) told him to either take out the earring or leave because he was fired. Leo (the guy who got fired) said, "If that's the way it is then I say FUCK YOU!"

 

Of course, he yells this as there's a whole group of customers exiting the theater from "Matilda," which was some little kids' movie. You have NEVER heard a manager apologize so profusely for one of their (ex-)employees' behavior....

[Guest HBK16]

lol. That acutally happened recently but not like that. She cussed out a customer then the manager. She was pissed.

[Guest MaxPower27]

I work in an "urban" shoe store, so I get a lot of "Yo man, if I buy that pair of shoes, will you cut me a deal?"

 

"I can't do that, man, I'm sorry"

 

"Come on, I won't tell anyone"

 

"Sorry man, rules are rules. Your total comes to $158.99, please."

 

"Shove those shoes up your fucking ass, white boy. I'm going to FootAction."

 

"Well, OK, sir. Have a great day, and thanks for partially shopping at Finish Line"

 

 

I guess you might have to be there, but it's pretty funny

[Guest converge241]

this is the epitome of stupidity.

 

I work with doctors and i know they can be jerks sometimes, but this takes the cake:

 

a friend worked at a telecommunication provider, online and phones, and on 09/11 they acted as an emergency network for New York becasue obviously communications got all screwed up. There was a recording on their menu saying that they were not doing regular business at this time due to the WTC situation, so this doctor ignores that gets through to my friend and says "my voice mails not working" my friend bit his tounge and calmly reiterated that there was a crisis that necessitated they not do normal busines (i.e. fixing voice mails). the doctors response:

 

what does that (WTC destroyed thousands dead, basically being under attack) have to do with my voice mail?

 

 

pretty nice huh?

[Guest JangoFett4Hire]

"Shove those shoes up your fucking ass, white boy. I'm going to FootAction."

 

 

*GTL* THAT is THE quote of the day

[Guest evilhomer]

Just love those people who didn't think 9/11 should affect anything. My best was a guy who needed a part flown in from NYC on Sept 13. I told him that I was sorry but because of the events, the part isn't in yet. He screams at me "Don't fucking give me that fucking bullshit excuse about that bullshit, get me my fucking part NOW!" and slams the phone down.

For the record, the huge rush was because his stereo was broken and he couldn't listen to any music.

 

My favourite site of stupid customers is over at Customers Suck.Com

[Guest evilhomer]

She smiles and hands me back the bag "Oh, save a tree"

Eat a beaver

[Guest Some Guy]

I work at a Bakery and constantly get teh question, "Is it fresh?"

 

Well, lady if it is fresh or not it doesn't really matter because I'm going to lie to you if it's old or you won't buy it.

It's just a dumb fuck question.

Women ask some absolutley thoughtless questions like that all the time.

 

"Does this need to be refridgerated?"

 

Well, lady is it in a fridge now?

 

Yes

 

Then I guess you should put it in one too, huh?

 

"Did you wash your hands?"

 

See my response to the "is it fresh" question.

[Guest Ravenbomb]

Man, this is NOT making me look forward to getting a job.

 

Anybody work at a video store?

[Guest HBK16]

Man, this is NOT making me look forward to getting a job.

 

Anybody work at a video store?

I did. Working at a video store is awsome. Get to rent the movies before they come out! Plus there isn't any room for any of the stupid questions that we mentioned before. I did get a few where I was there for like 20 minutes explaining them about membership. They ask some dumb questions. But other than that it's pretty much fun.

[Guest Ravenbomb]

cool.

<~~~ Is applying for first job fairly soon (at Blockbuster)

[Guest Cerebus The Aardvark]

Blockbuster is evil. Not as evil as, say Wal Mart or Best Buy, though.

 

Having worked in convenience stores for the past few years (and Subway before that), I have thousands of stories, but they're all too involved to tell in text form.

 

For a good time, visit http://www.bestbuysux.org

 

Endless entertainment.

[Guest eiker_ir]

"Sorry man, rules are rules. Your total comes to $158.99, please."

 

"Shove those shoes up your fucking ass, white boy. I'm going to FootAction."

 

"Well, OK, sir. Have a great day, and thanks for partially shopping at Finish Line"

 

 

this is pretty funny

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

Shoot, I could be here all day... two quick notes...

 

1) When I worked at a theater, whenever I was asked if we provided free refills on drinks my reply was always "Only at the water fountain." I got a complaint once for that and another one with this line only being one of several things I said to a customer complaining about the concession stand prices/policies...

 

2) I worked at a gas station once which had one of those car wash stations where you drive your car through. Anyway, some lady calls up and asks if it's touchless. When I said no, and she replied, "so it has those rough brushes that could permanently damage your car." I answered "yes." She then asks, "should I get my car washed there." I then compared our car wash to smoking. One or two trips won't kill you, but don't make it into a habit. She hung up.

 

I f'n hate customers...

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

At the arby's I worked at, the most stoned person ever came through the drive through, and literally sat there for FIFTEEN minutes, trying to decide what he wanted. It was one in the morning, so there wasn't anyone there, so we just let him sit, gave him the ol' take your time, order when you're ready spiel, THEN he asked what was on the Philly sub..we told him, green peppers, onions, 4 oz roast beef, parmesean sauce, cheese. his response..."Oh man, I don't like onions." "You can get it without onions." "No, that's ok, I think I'll get your five for five...Umm, do you guys have shakes?" "Yes, we do." "Where are they on the menu?" Okay. This killed me, because for some reason, there would always be one or two people who couldn't find the shakes on the sign EVERY DAY. I mean, they're no harder to find than anything else...not to mention he'd been looking at the thing for FIFTEEN MINUTES. we eventually made him his shit, and all was good. but we talked about that guy for a while afterwards, I mean, had he NEVER been to arby's? what the hell?

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

1) When I worked at a theater, whenever I was asked if we provided free refills on drinks my reply was always "Only at the water fountain." I got a complaint once for that and another one with this line only being one of several things I said to a customer complaining about the concession stand prices/policies...

heh, I've got a good theater story. I worked at one for a month or so, and these three kids snuck in. I sat there and watched them do it. For what it's worth, they snuck into Wild Wild West. I wouldn't have done this if they snuck into something good. Anyway, I sold them a ticket to one of the other theaters, don't remember the movie, but that show was the only one they bought tickets to..

 

Anyway, the boss put me out as an usher, since the ticket girl came in and all, so I got to see these three kids, probably about 12 or 13 years old, sneak into Wild Wild West, which i KNEW they didn't pay for, so I say to my manager, "Hey, three kids just snuck into Wild Wild West, do you want me to go scare the shit out of them or do you want to do something about it?" He's all "I don't really care, don't let them sit there though, since they didn't pay."

 

Anyway, I'm about 6'2", and I'm burly with some pretty evil tattoos on my arms, not to say I'm billy badass or whatever, but compared to these kids, I'm Brock Lesnar in terms of size. So I go in with this look of evil intent, shining a flashlight right in their faces, and go "TICKETS, PLEASE." in a really mean voice, and these kids just turn GREEN with fear. one tried to lie, saying, "ummmm....we, uh, threw them away when we came in." to which I replied "BULLSHIT, you snuck in!" There was like 2 other people in the theater who knew me, and were laughing their asses off at this, so not only were the kids caught, but they were afraid, and embarassed. So then I gave them the ultimatum to leave by the time I counted to five, or I was callin' the cops, UNLESS of course they could procure their ticket stubs. They fucking BOLTED for the door, and the guy and the girl I knew that were in there were in TEARS by this point, and said something along the lines of "Maaan, that was fucking PRICELESS." My manager complimented me on a job well done.

 

Interesting epilogue: The kids must've felt guilty or whatever and told their parents, because their folks found out about it somehow, and each kid came in with their parents and had to apologize to the manager. They didn't get in any trouble or anything, but goddamn it was hilarious.

[Guest bob_barron]

All I did when I worked at a movie theatre was jump off stuff

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

Oh man... this thread is priceless.

 

Here's a story from when I worked at Sam's Club:

 

One Saturday in which I was working the closing shift(and not liking it, obviously) and this old lady comes through my line with a shitload of meat. I take her card and greeet her like a good lil drone and start to transfer her meat first since it was the softest stuff in the cart. I put down the babyseat so I could keep all the meat away from the hard stuff like boxes of detergent and she literally SCREAMS at me, "BABY DIAPERS CAUSE HEPATITUS B!!!" I'm looking at her like "What the fuck?" and continue on, which enrages her even more and she screams once again, "DIRTY BABY DIAPERS CAUSE HEPATITUS B!! I SAW IT ON THE TELEVISION!!" loud enough that EVERYBODY in the damn store is now looking at me. I tell her that we always clean our carts every night after the store closes(a lie) and she yells at me again. I got fed up, put up the babyseat and said almost out loud, "What the fuck ever...", to which she responds with "Yeah, whatever. You won't be saying that when you're sick!", to whih I promptly laughed my ass off.

 

I've got plenty more stories that I'll tell later on when I gots some more time.

[Guest TJH]

The problem is common sense ain't that common. I'm lucky as I've never had a job, and never intend to.

[Guest Fook_Hing_Ho]

That Hep B one just made my day.

 

Here's one from my experience at Tim Horton's.

 

I was working the drive through on a particularly slow night when these three guys in a pickup truck pull into the drive through. Anyways, they hadn't even reached the entrance to the drive though when the truck suddently died on them. So what did they do? They got out of the truck and pushed it into the drive through! I swear to god. Then, the driver got back in his seat while the other two were pushing, ordered, and had the other two push him up to the window to collect his coffee! Wait, it gets better. Then, instead of continuing to push the truck out of the drive through, they go to the front of the truck and PUSH IT BACKWARDS TO THE ENTRANCE OF THE FUCKING DRIVE THROUGH!!! My manager and I were in fucking stitches watching this. When they reached the ordering point, we promptly asked them if they needed any help. "No thanks man, we got it. We're almost out anyways."

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

I work at Rogers Video up here in Canada, and I must say, I love my job. I get paid well, I get free movies and have made some lifelong friends while doing it. Great job, highly recommended to anybody who likes to have fun.

 

But it ain't always sunshine and fuckin' roses.

 

I have singlehandedly bore witness to every single piece of scum this earth has to offer. You wouldn't think that a video store would be the prime place for people to expose their evil side, but lo and behold, they do. I've seen guys beat their girls up for not returning a movie on time, parents hit their kids and a ton of other shit. I don't feel like typing up all my stories, because I honestly have enough to write a fuckin book about but I'll give some highlights.

 

- A local Indian family that has 5 kids, with a sixth on the way that sent their 7 year old daughter and 2 year old son in to rent movies. The 2 year old walked out of the store and was finally discovered a half mile away wandering around a construction site. The mother slammed the 7 year olds head in the stores entrance doors as punishment for "loosing your brother." I wasn't there, but if I was I most likely wouldn't have a job right now. Child abuse is #1 on the list of things I can't tolerate in people. That bitch would've paid, no bullshit.

 

- People arguing w/ me for over 10 minutes over 2.99 late fees. I can't get through a shift without this happening.

 

- Guys spending 20 minutes in our porn section and then asking if we have a bathroom. I'm no sucka, I tell them that ours is busted and to use Tim Hortons.

 

- A woman last night trying to use a coupon for a free seven day rental on a two day rental. I tell her it won't work because this is a two day rental. Her response? "Well, I really need this to be a 7 day rental, you see?". Uh, no I don't see, ya dipshit.

 

Fuckin' customers, if they didn't pay my salary I'd probably be inclined to pimp smack them.