Stupid customers

[Guest crandamaniac]

Sometimes customers do the dumbest fucking things ever. I had one woman I swear I almost could have lost my job because of this. See I work in electronics at Wal-mart, and it's a real high theft department (about $20,000 per year gets stolen). Therefore we have a rule that anything in electronics has to be paid for in electronics, or taken up to the front by an associate. Well this woman grabbed a video game controller, and procedded to take it out of electronics.

 

 

Me:"Ma'am, you have to pay for that back here"

 

Woman: "Why?"

 

Me: "Cuz it's store policy. If you're still shopping, I can hold it here, or take it up front for you"

Woman: "I'm just going over there :points to other side of the store: to show it to my husband"

 

Me: "Ma'am, I can't let you do that"

 

Woman: "But I've done it before last week!" <this may be true, we have a few people who don't follow the rule>

 

Me: "Ma'am, it's store policy, now you can either leave it here, or I can take it up front for you"

 

Woman: "This is bullshit!"

 

She then took the controller, and threw it at me. If she hadn't taken off really fast, I would have probably jumped across the counter and punched her. Stupid Fucking Bitch!

[Guest Fook_Hing_Ho]

- Guys spending 20 minutes in our porn section and then asking if we have a bathroom. I'm no sucka, I tell them that ours is busted and to use Tim Hortons.

Ah, so that explains it.

[Guest Ravenbomb]

say what you want about Best Buy and Blockbuster, I've never had a problem with them, they usually have what I'm looking for, I like them.

[Guest Incandenza]

say what you want about Best Buy and Blockbuster, I've never had a problem with them, they usually have what I'm looking for, I like them.

Best Buy rocks, but I abhor Blockbuster.

[Guest MaxPower27]

I just rented 2 movies from Blockbuster for an astonishing price of $11.99!!!!!!!

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

Back again with another Sam's Club tale of misery.

 

 

This one had me laughing for weeks. It was probably around like 2:30 or something and I luckily had the morning shift which meant I could actually go home at a decent hour. A lady comes up to my line and I do the usual drone shit. Everything is going fine until she all of the sudden grabs my screen(Sam's has swivel screens for their registers) and starts yelling about how I charged her too much for a pack of Lil Smokies. Okay, simple enough problem. I call the COS over, she runs a price check and it's revealed that the dumb bitch got a pack from the other box which CLEARLY has a sign that says it's a higher price. Okay, the COS explains it to Ms. Bitch and she just absofuckinglutely throws one of the biggets temper tantrums I've ever seen. Now, you ask how much more could the pack of Smokies have been to set her off? Why, 13 cents, my child. 13 FUCKING CENTS! The COS offers to have someone from Freezer/Cooler bring up the pack she wanted, but the bitch just threw her card down and stormed off in a huff with me TRYING not to fall out laughing and all the customers behind her doing the same. What a glorious day that was.

 

 

Later, I gotta tell you all the battery story. The PRIME example of why I hate old, fat rednecks.

[Guest TheRockIsTheEuropeanChampion]

I am salivating, in anticipation of this so-called "battery story".

 

Blockbuster: A few months ago, I was about five hours late returning three old wrestling tapes. I was charged the price or rental as a late fee. Ridiculous. I can understand paying a few bucks, but not that much!

 

Bastard policy...

[Guest MaxPower27]

APO keep those coming, they are hy-fucking-sterical.

 

I worked an 11-5 today, and got a complaint from 3 customers because our store socks are unhealthy because other people's feet have been in them. I bit my tongue on the "Well maybe you shouldn't wear FUCKING SANDALS TO TRY ON SHOES, AND THEN COMPLAIN WHEN THE SOCKS ARE TOO FUCKING DIRTY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!" and simply replied, well, most of our socks are at pretty cheap prices, so you can pick up a few pair for 7 bucks. Three times I said that, and three times, i was basically told to go to hell in 3 different ways. Fuckers.

[Guest Ravenbomb]

bah, I turned some tapes into the Blockbuster near our house around 1 or 2 pm, the day they were supposed to be back at noon, didn't have to pay the late fee. And once I hopefully get a job there, I'll (again, hopefully) be able to rent for free

 

 

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

I just got home from an 8 1/2 hour shift, which is always fun. I had some old Russian geezer tear up his coupon and throw it down in front of me because he needed to pay full price in order to use it. Poor old Commie, I guess getting the discount of 50 cents really means something. I offered him so Vodka, but he declined and left in a huff with his Yeltsin-esque wife.

 

Apologies to anybody of Russian decent for fitting so many stereotypes into one sentance.

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

Two stories...

 

A) When I was an usher one day my friend and his new honey came in to see some godawful movie with that Clueless chick being kidnapped in the trunk of a car (Spare Baggage?), anyway it was the afternoon and they were both in high school, so that means this was a makeout movie. About 30 minutes in my usher sidekick remarks that these kids are going at it in this theater. I then go up to them and shine the flashlight onto them and go "Just what do you think you two are doing?" Good this he wasn't getting a Lewinsky because I spooked them so bad that she probably would have bitten his off.

 

B) "At the arby's I worked at, the most stoned person ever came through the drive through, and literally sat there for FIFTEEN minutes, trying to decide what he wanted."

 

In his defense, if you don't frequent Arby's you probably won't know what's on the menu besides roast beef sandwiches. About 2 weeks ago I went to one and had to spend 5-10 minutes looking over what I wanted. Of course I knew coming in I'd be taking some time, so I didn't go in the DRIVE-THRU and stood in the back while other customers placed their order.

 

Back in my high school days when I worked at Burger King, the worst place to be on Good Friday was the speciality grill -- that's where the fish is fried. Although there was some amusement because (I don't know what it's like now) my BK's drive thru was miked so we could all hear the customers order. I'll never forget some old lady, bless her heart, who probably never frequented fast-food joints much, because in the span of 5-10 minutes she asked our drive thru cashier if we had the following things...

 

*mashed potatos

*corn

*green beans

*cole slaw

*mac 'n cheese

*yams

 

I could go off on how stupid she was, but: 1) This was a few years ago so she's probably dead by now. 2) It was good for a laugh or ten. 3) She helped me get up to speed on all my in-house orders because she held up the drive thru (fish take like 5 minutes to cook, and you can only fit a limited number in one of those fryer baskets...

 

Tune in later when I talk about my experience as a cashier for a cooking store that was to go out of business and my run-in with a shoplifting nun...

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

In his defense, if you don't frequent Arby's you probably won't know what's on the menu besides roast beef sandwiches. About 2 weeks ago I went to one and had to spend 5-10 minutes looking over what I wanted. Of course I knew coming in I'd be taking some time, so I didn't go in the DRIVE-THRU and stood in the back while other customers placed their order.

Dude, believe me, I know ALL about the good friday fish onslaught. Arby's has fish during lent, which is something many people don't know, but some evil bastards leaked it out to the populace, so we got bomBARDED with bastard's craving feesh. This is indiana, so it's feesh. or feesh-ces, in Arby's case. If a restaurant has a menu where you can't find something you want to eat within a couple minutes, go somewhere where you know the food is edible. in which case, anywhere but arby's is a suitable choice. I don't care how many times my whopper falls on the floor, at least I have faith that it's been cooked properly, unlike the rancid "beef" from Sickby's.

 

Props for going inside though. People take moons in the drive through, then get shitty that they're running late because we, god forbid, have to PREPARE their food.

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

It's time for the Battery story!

 

Okay, I had been working at Hell's Club for maybe two or three months when this happened. An old guy comes in and buys a battery, it's after 6 pm so our Auto section was closed and he had to bring it thru the cashiers up front. Okay, all's well that ends well, right? Wrong. The guy comes through my line, and I ring him up and tell him the total. He flips out because of a 5 dollar battery charge and demands that I take it off. I tell him I can't because you have to do one of two things: Bring the old battery in or have a note from Automotive if you do more shopping after picking it up. I call a COS over because this redneck piece of trash had gotten to the point where he was starting to curse and I wanted someone to be present as a witness if I knocked his tubby ass out. The COS says that if they would just bring the old battery in the store, she'd take off the charge. Easy enough, right? Well, the guy sends his wife out to get the old battery and while she's gone, he's standing at my register getting more and more irritated. Out of the blue, he yells "Goddamn this shit!", throws his card down on the top of my register with a thud and storms out while cursing up a storm. I start to laugh and then his WIFE comes back in with the damn battery about 2 minutes later and asks if he left.

 

That was pretty much the most bizarre thing I've EVER seen with the runner-up being the drunk people who bought some detergent one Sunday and the husband was so absofuckinglutely shit-faced that he took 10 minutes to find a 20 dollar bill to pay for it.

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

* I gotta admit that a battery charge IS bullshit (I hate extra add-on fees). Could the customer have known about this fee before going to you? (Ex: is this fee marked on a sign by the batteries.) I'm not applauding his behavior, but instead I'm feeling his pain because I HATE Sam's Club with a !@#% passion.

 

* I love how people use the drive thru that could be 10 cars deep, yet at the same time could have simply walked into the empty store and gotten their food and left while only 2/3 cars have passed in DT. What I find funny is that these people who wait for 20 minutes in DT then pull over in the parking lot and EAT!!! My rule: If it's busy, or if there's more than 3 cars in line, go in.

 

* While on the subject of DTs, one thing that gets me mad is when you order a super sized order of fries, and they rip you off by giving you so few that you can't see any sticking out in the carton! Next time this happens to me I think I'm going to go in and make my case known.

 

* Anyway, the nun story. I worked for a few weeks at this kitchen place in a mall that was going out of business. It was right next to the theater I worked at, I just got done with college, and I was moving halfway across PA in a few weeks, so I figured this would be a nice way to make a few dollars.

 

I have a plethora of tales regarding stupid customers, including one fat chick that tried to do this...

 

Me: "Ok, your total is $20.10... woah, you can't write out a check here."

 

Her: "Why not?"

 

Me: "We're going out of business and not accepting them."

 

Her: "Where's a sign that says this?"

 

Me: "Here *points to BIG sign next to me*, here *points to big sign on counter top* and here *points to big signs all across the store, about 12 or so in line of sight"

 

(I've had experience with these kind before when working at a gas station and someone tries to pay for $5 in gas with a $100 bill. Some people just cash it for them, but not me. More on one genius who "called" and complained about my rude attitude later)

 

Her: "Well, I can't pay for it anyway else"

 

Me: *shrugs shoulders*

 

Her: *tearing up check, getting pissed* "Well, it seems I wasted a perfectly good check for nothing"

 

Me: "Have a nice day"

 

Her: *now really pissed* "You too"

 

Me: "Drive carefully"

 

Her: "You too *mutters something under her breath*"

 

Me: "I wouldn't want to see you get killed in a car accident..."

 

Her: No response

 

* Anyway, at this store, I was ringing up this nun for something little (candle holders or something). As she was ready to leave the lady behind her said "excuse me but it looks like you have something in your cart." It turns out she had this little item (candle, perhaps? I don't remember) under her purse. The lady's face turned red and handed it over to me and left.

 

Was she corrupt or senile? I don't know. But I told the lady who busted her that I'm not going to comment because there's someone else who's going to judge her when it's all said and done. That line got a laugh.

 

Coming up next, the manager (not a customer story, but a moron tale anyway) who crapped his pants because I told this person what I really thought of a movie...

 

Oh, and the idiot that tried to have me cash a $100 bill...

[Guest TheRockIsTheEuropeanChampion]

These tales make me glad I am not employed.

 

Though I wish I could swap stories as well...

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

* I gotta admit that a battery charge IS bullshit (I hate extra add-on fees). Could the customer have known about this fee before going to you? (Ex: is this fee marked on a sign by the batteries.) I'm not applauding his behavior, but instead I'm feeling his pain because I HATE Sam's Club with a !@#% passion.

We had a sign up explaining it in Automotive, but it had been taken down shortly after I had started working there. After they took it down, the managers(rat-faced buttfuckers as I called them) all said that they had to show some kind of a goddamn receipt or some shit to get the charge taken of if they go thru a regular checkout line and not Automotive. And yeah, I despise Hell's Club, too., but it's mostly because two of the managers screwed me over and fired me. Those bastards...

 

Oh yeah, I once got yelled at because some guy was pissed about the cigarette upcharge during the 10th Anniversery(sp?) of the store. Funny shit, actually.