Pure Unadulterated Evil Contained Within..

[Guest Nevermortal]

WWE FAN FICTION

 

I'm pretty sure when Satan invented the dregs of the internet, he had this shit in mind.

[Guest chirs3]

Why are so many of them about Matt and Jeff Hardy?

 

If I were gonna write Fan Fiction, it'd be about how Chris Jericho became bigger than wrestling, and the countries around the globe elected him as the King of the World...

[Guest Phr33k]

I dare anyone here to write an NC-17 one about Bradshaw and (insert name of rookie here) just to see if the people who review stories know their backstage stuff.

[Guest MaxPower27]

If I had the time, Phr33k, I would, just to fuck with them.

 

Actually, fuck it, I'm calling off of work next week, and writing about Bradshaw/Pat Patterson/Chris Nowinski etc.

 

 

 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[Guest Anglesault]

Didn't read it, don't want to.

 

I once stumbled upon one of these fan fictions sites (I still have no idea how) and it was "slash" I assure you, you haven't lived until you read about Kurt Angle escaping his abusive relationship with Steve Austin to reunite with ex boyfriend Triple H.

[Guest El Psycho Diablo]

People that write fanfictions about things like that need to be kicked.

[Guest Chuck Woolery]

http://fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=606814.

 

Just read the summary. It'll make you do a spittake, hopefully.

[Guest Anglesault]

Funny thing: I really DID do a spittake.

[Guest MaxPower27]

Geez, and I thought that I had no life! Wow. I didn't read it, I pressed pagedown a lot, and it's just ridiculousyl long and boring.

[Guest Anglesault]

Just to add on to my earlier comment, later in that story (Or in part two or something) HHH and Angle are enlisted to help benoit with his mic skills, and somehow they all end up having sex and Benoit becomes better on the mic. No, I have no idea why I remember this either

[Guest Chuck Woolery]

Bah. At the end (SPOILER WARNING~!) Jericho gets a brain tumor... and then gets it healed and he gets married to Chyna. So disgusting.

[Guest MaxPower27]

AS <3's FanFiction!!!!

[Guest Anglesault]

The best part about tnat spoiler warning is that no one cares, so he gives it like half a word for spoile space.

[Guest HartFan86]

http://fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=730972

 

I'm literally just sitting here wondering what the hell I just read.

[Guest Phr33k]

I go there on occasion, just to see the crap that some people put out. However, if you look in the NC-17 section in "Originals"... man, some of those things can make you wish for the characters' lives. ALL of them end up getting laid in the end.

[Guest The Ruthless Aggressor]

Christ, that one about Chris Jericho and Chyna was longer than two Jay Bower columns.

[Guest Jobber of the Week]

There are literally NC-17 rated gay wrestling fanfictions going around the net.

 

 

I could link to one or two places with appropriate warnings if I had the gusto, but I'd probably either break a rule here or cause somebody to lose their lunch.

 

But to give you an idea of the kinds of relationships in said fictions:

 

 

Rock & Stone Cold

Vince McMahon & Shane McMahon

Kevin Kelly & Michael Cole (yes, really)

HHH & Kurt Angle (HHH makes Kurt his bitch, sadly)

Y2J & Chris Benoit

The Hollys

HBK & Nash (eeeew!)

RVD & HHH (again, Hunter is the dominant guy here)

Jeff Hardy & Just about anyone you can think of, including Matt Hardy

Rey Misterio & Kurt Angle (Rey dominates at one point.. What the hell?)

X-Pac & Y2J

Val Venis & Benoit

Lance Storm & RVD

..And many more!

[Guest Chuck Woolery]

It's like... there's people... who are trying to entertain us. It's working, for me...

 

Except for the gay shit. That is wack.

 

- Mike Van Siclen.

[Guest Jobber of the Week]

I normally don't mind it most of the time (there's gay stories about video game characters, anime, TV shows all the time, and a whole fandom who likes that) but with wrestling it kind of bothers me. More because a lot of these guys go out there with their real names and everything. And so when I see "and then Kurt Angle put it in Benoit's ass," I just kind sigh and hold my head. Somewhere in real life, both those guys have real families.

 

 

However, go ahead and make gay porn about Sonic the Hedgehog and Tails or whatever all you wish.

[Guest El Psycho Diablo]

I have to say I have an intense personal hatred of that kinda stuff. (don't ask).

 

It's stupid anyway. To believe people say some of us have no lives for being wrestling fans.

[Guest Jobber of the Week]

Here... Let me entertain you all. Censored for the children's eyes, if there are any.

 

Val's match was scheduled for later, but Test had just finished his match and was really sweaty.  Val thought it was really sexy. But obviously he couldn't just tell Test without knowing outright about Test.  Val had heard

rumours, but unfortunately you couldn't trust rumours, especially those started by Shane McMahon.

 

'Well, seeing as Trish is away, I'm going for a shower, okay Val?'  Test said breaking Val's trance.

 

When Val realised what Test said he gulped.  Something he rarely felt these days.

 

'Shower?  Yeah sure.  You go clean up.'  Val replied.

 

Test left for the shower room leaving Val with only a vision in his head and a (CENSORED) in his trunks.

 

Or how about this one?

 

After his match that day with Psycho Sid, Sid Vicious, Sid Justice, or whatever the hell his name was at the time, Bulldog had followed Hogan back to the showers. Sid was a big man, and the match had been grueling. Even the mighty Hulkster had to use all his strength to lift Sid off the mat and power-slam him back to earth in the grand finale.  But it sure was a crowd- pleaser.  Grabbing a huge muscle-god like Sid by the underwear and lifting him so high his crotch is inches away from your nose -what's not to like?

 

I couldn't bare to read anything beyond this brief quote of the next story:

 

Kane walked to the shelf by one of the showers and grabbed a bottle of shampoo and signaled for Crash to turn around. Crash was kind of nervous about the idea but he decided to go for it.

 

 

 

Strangely, there are no stories about Bradshaw. NONE. That floored me.

[Guest RicFlairGlory]

Okay, after one paragraph of the Chyna / Y2J one...

 

If you're going to use their actual names (which I'm SURE the author thought was REALLY cool), do NOT go and later on say Y2J.

 

COMMAS, they're used for a reason!!

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

. You Shouldn't Feel This Way About Me by Star Queen

The men known to the world as Rob Van Dam and Christian find themselves feeling very odd feelings for each other. But what are they going to go about it? YES

 

ACK!

 

"So, it's time for YOU to receive a PROPER welcome from...the New....World...Order!" He put the mic at just the right angle for the entire arena to hear my squeal of surprise. I think it was Nash who gave me the wedgie. I felt my body flop around like a rag doll as he bounced me up and down by my boxers. When he suddenly stopped, I crumpled to the mat.

 

Besmirching Christian by duchessofdudleyville

William Regal and Christian spend some time together.

 

There sure are alot of Christian stories..

 

Sex and Soap Suds by KristyM

The WWF holds a charity car wash and Shane and Test end up getting rather dirty.

 

uuuuhhh...

 

Then it happened, Lesnar went for that BRUTAL flapjack-like finishing move that had put away countless opponents in his short time in the WWE. To the shock of everyone, including Lesnar, Mark Henry blocked the hold. He shot Lesnar into the ropes powerfully and when he came back lifted him off his feet into a powerful bearhug!

 

The crowd went apeshit! Alarmed, Paul Heyman leapt up onto the ring apron. Mark Henry had anticipated this and kept a cool head. Keeping Brock up in the bearhug, he whirled and charged; knocking Paul Heyman to the floor with his own incapacitated man. He then brought Brock Lesnar back to the center of the ring, and there in front of 20,000 people and millions on Pay-Per-View, Brock Lesnar SUBMITTED and lost his very first match decisively. The crowd rose to their feet in a rush of cheers. Mark dropped the semiconscious Brock Lesnar like a sack of wheat and leapt up on the second turnbuckle. "I did it," he yelled to the crowd. Mark Henry stood there for a long time, basking in the cheers and respect. He had DONE the impossible. He had made Brock Lesnar submit! Mark Henry was on cloud nine! The Undertaker is next

 

Keep dreaming..

[Guest chirs3]

Brock submitting to Henry?

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Guest The Ruthless Aggressor]

Brock submitting to Henry?

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

But JR said Henry would be a future main eventer!

[Guest LJSexay]

You know...these sound like GREAT IDEAS TO SEND TO WWE~! HOMOEROTICISM = RATINGS~!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I really hope nobody takes what I just said seriously. ~_~

[Guest AndrewTS]

I normally don't mind it most of the time (there's gay stories about video game characters, anime, TV shows all the time, and a whole fandom who likes that) but with wrestling it kind of bothers me. More because a lot of these guys go out there with their real names and everything. And so when I see "and then Kurt Angle put it in Benoit's ass," I just kind sigh and hold my head. Somewhere in real life, both those guys have real families.

 

 

However, go ahead and make gay porn about Sonic the Hedgehog and Tails or whatever all you wish.

Yeah--notice the ones who wrote that stuff are usually quite clearly female (HHHGURL, HARDYZBABE, etc), or most likely are female. It's the same group of sick puppies who write anime yaoi (gay anime fanfic). Hardyz are beloved because they--mostly Jeff--are like living bishonen. Which are males with almost no muscle definition, long hair, and generally extremely wimpy and feminine looking.

 

I didn't know stuff like this existed until TheFlyboy told me via--get this--Chyna/Miss Kitty dominating Jeff Jarrett (shudder).

 

I'd imagine there is no Bradshaw because he's chubby, ugly, and has horrifying manboobies.

[Guest Smell the ratings!!!]

And I'd imagine that Bradshaw isn't in them because he's writing roughly half of them.

 

Crash Holly and a shampoo bottle? Who the hell did you think wrote that?

[Guest TheRockIsTheEuropeanChampion]

Hey look, it's Bradshaw.

 

Quite a sick circuit of the internet... Also kinda funny. In a really pathetic way.

 

Who the hell wrote about Mideon, anyway?!

[Guest AndrewTS]

And I'd imagine that Bradshaw isn't in them because he's writing roughly half of them.

 

Crash Holly and a shampoo bottle? Who the hell did you think wrote that?

I take it you aren't familiar with "self-insertion." And I somehow find it hard to believe that Bradshaw is coordinated enough to type.