Losing matches thread!

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

I'm not being all whiny or anything. Seriously, I had no shot. I lost my match so I put together 1500 words of craptacular goodness. I at least showed but I knew I lost. So here for your displeasure, my losing match. It may just be dumber than TNT's. Maybe.

 

-----------------------------------------

 

Stevens: Welcome back to SWF Smarkdown!!!

 

Riley: I'm Gay!

 

Stevens: Let's go to the announcer guy who's name rhymes with onion for our next match!

 

Riley: Yay! I'm Gay still!

 

(Funyon stands up wearing a pink and purple polka dotted prom dress that's eight sizes too small)

 

Funyon: hurkahk... brok...Hrdcckre Tccctle!

 

Crowd: Yay! Riley's Gay!

 

Funyon: ickararackckck Silckct!

 

(Silent appears at the top of the ramp. "The Goonies R Good Enough" begin to play as Silent decapitates the front row by sheer will. The crowd boos.)

 

Crowd: Boo boo boo boo boo!

 

Silent:

 

Crowd: Boo boo boo boo boo redeux!

 

Stevens: The crowd really isn't behind Silent.

 

Riley: That's because he's gay!

 

Stevens: No, he's a bad guy!

 

Riley: Oh yeah, I'm gay! Wooo!

 

(Riley jumps into the crowd and makes out with Brad Pitt. Matt Damon looks all jealous.)

 

Funyon: Gracckt Hrdcckckkre Quckckckn!

 

("It's raining men" kicks up as Annie Eclectic appears out of nowhere in the center of the ring. Silent climbs into the ring and immediatly gets hit by a dropkiss!)

 

Crowd: Ooooooooooooooh!

 

(Annie follows up with a spinning back kick!)

 

Crowd: Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!

 

(Annie grabs Silent's cane... which he was holding all the time, alright. He had it when he came out, he has it now. Except he doesn't. Annie does.)

 

Stevens: So wait, Annie came out with the cane?

 

(No. Silent did.)

 

Riley: But Annie had it after he came out?

 

(Yes.)

 

Stevens: How did she get it?

 

(She took it from Silent.)

 

Riley: But she wasn't here when Silent came out.

 

(....She -just- took it. Just now.)

 

Stevens: Then how did she have it to start?

 

(Shut up.)

 

Riley: Wait, I was making out with Brad Pitt!!! Why did I come back?

 

Stevens: I dunno.

 

Riley: Yoink!

 

(Shut up, match going on. Annie hits Silent over the head with the cane. Jay Dawg comes out and watches, not getting into the fight yet. Annie hits Silent over the head, bam bam bam bam bam, throws him to the outside. Silent attacks, miss, Annie hits Hollowpoint Driver to steps.)

 

Stevens: OOOH! Annie hits Silent with a Hollowpoint Driver to the steel steps!

 

(I just said that.)

 

Stevens: Yeah, but you're the narration, I'm here for the viewers.

 

(There aren't any viewers.)

 

Stevens: Oh yeah. *takes out gun and cocks it*

 

(Don't do that!)

 

Stevens: Why not?

 

(You have to tell me where Riley is!)

 

Stevens: He's being double stuffed by Brad Pitt and Matt Damon.

 

(Ewwww)

 

Stevens: I know, but Jennifer Aniston is here, so I guess she's our new announcer!

 

Crowd: YAY!

 

Crowd near Pitt/Riley/Damon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH!

 

Aniston: Hi! I'm from Friends!

 

(You know, Annie just hit Silent with a Second Hollowpoint Driver. She's covering him...)

 

Aniston: I'm blonde!

 

(*sigh* One two three, ding ding ding, go ahead Funyon)

 

Funyon: Ockt Fckrsckt Elckmcknck..... *dies*

 

(Stevens, can you announce?)

 

Stevens: Sure! ...uh.... The Winner is Annie!

 

(No no no, she still has to fight Jay Dawg!)

 

Stevens: Oh yeah... The winner to be is Annie!

 

(You suck)

 

Aniston: Okay! *goes down on Mark Stevens*

 

Stevens: O.o

 

Crowd: YAY!

 

(Argh, Annie runs up the ramp while carrying Silent's cane. Annie swings but misses as Jay Dawg takes a razor blade and cutting Annie's forehead, as I forgot to have her bleed earlier. There's some brawling....)

 

Stevens: You... O.O ... You.... O.O UNGH!

 

Aniston: What's a gag reflex?

 

(I'm going to hurl, or at least I would if I were a sentient being. Anyway, brawl brawl brawl, Annie kicks JD in the gut, puts the cane across his throat, lifts him up, Annie-T on the ramp.)

 

Stevens: Uh... wait! There's a mysterious... uh.... Message Velociraptor here from Stubby! It says: For the next ninety seconds the Hardcore Title will be defended under 24/7 rules! Well that sucks a donkey....

 

 

(Then a 16-ton weight drops on JD for no reason! Ash Ketchum appears from nowhere and pins JD! Ash Ketchum appears out of nowhere and pins JD!)

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

THREE!

 

 

(Uh.... i guess I'll do it. Your winner and NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION.... wait! There's Cutthroat! He drops a 16 ton weight on Ash! Annie rolls him up!!!)

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

THREE!

 

... wait what was that Ash?

 

PikaPal13X: Drop a 16 ton weight on JD at the end to finish him off, like Monty Python does, then have Ash come down and pin him

Annie Eclectic: uh... alrighty

PikaPal13X: Then have Cutthroat come down and get slammed with another 16 ton weight, but Annie rolls Ash up and pins him

PikaPal13X: Or something stupid like that

Annie Eclectic: oh gods

Annie Eclectic: awful

PikaPal13X:

Annie Eclectic: why would you let Cutthroat of all people drop a weight on you?

PikaPal13X: No, drop it on Cutthraot!

PikaPal13X: Not me!

PikaPal13X: It gets dropped on cutthroat!

 

(Oh, sorry. Rewind.)

 

a;lskdjfpdjklsf;alskdfj;dfjoghlbkmpsaognae[ojig

 

(Wait! There's Cutthroat! And a 16 ton weight drops on him! Ash is distracted... Annie rolls him up!)

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

THREE!!!

 

 

DING DING DING

 

(Uh... your winner... again... and NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION: ANNIE ECLECTIC)

 

 

(Insert spooky thing where Annie makes herself look like Lady Red. You can think of stuff here folks)

 

 

Stevens: Wow! Annie iz beingz all mysterious?!?!? what will happen to big dance party. Come back and be enlightened!

 

Crowd watching gay male threesome: Ewwww...

 

*splurt*

 

(Christ on a pole... please cut to commercial)

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Stevens: You... O.O ... You.... O.O UNGH!

 

Aniston: What's a gag reflex?

 

That didn't win it?

 

These markers suck.

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

For the hell of it, here's mine. I think I short changed myself, and in scanning Ash's it looked like his finish was muy caliente. Will try to comment on the whole show tomorrow, but then again, I always say that.

 

 

 

 

The picture returns with a whoosh to Smarkdown of a still image of Frost standing in the ring. A superimposed designation in the corner reads ‘Storm-Last Friday.’ The scene then comes to life.

 

Frost: “I beat you with my fists. I beat you with my mind in having a backup plan. The point is, that I DESTROY you in every way, shape and form.”

 

Ash: “Well, I’m still breathing and I’m game for a rematch.”

 

The nonchalant challenge hangs in the air for a moment, before the crowd cheers on in agreement.

 

Ash: “And since I owe Thompson a little payback too, let’s say if I beat you, although you know that won’t happen (sarcasm dripping in his voice), I get a tag title shot down the road with any partner of my choice. Or are you not MAN enough to go for that?”

 

The crowd racket ebbs and flows as Frost ponders the challenge and then curls his lip in a menacing snarl.

 

Frost: “Since you winning that title shot is a nonexistent prospect, I’ll let you have your pipedream, until I wrench it away from you this Monday on Smarkdown.”

 

The scene freezes again and whisks away to be replaced by the end of the Frost vs. Xero match as Xero tries for a cover with the referee out and Danny Williams looking to interfere.

 

Deathwish slips under the bottom rope and pops to his feet with Frost’s tag title belt in his mitts. He dives down to cream Xero in the back of the head with the strap. It makes a wet thud as Xero’s body pops up and his eyes go blank. The fans feverishly boo as Danny pushes Xero on his back and drags Frost on top of him. He stops to pull Long over and gives him a few light slaps in the face before spiriting out of the ring.

 

Stevens: “WILLIAMS TURNED ON XERO! NO, THIS ISN’T RIGHT!”

 

Riley: “OH, IT’S SO RIGHT IT HAS TO BE WRONG!”

 

Long feebly counts.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

DING DING DING

 

The scene cuts ahead to Xero leaning against the outside ring post with a microphone to his lips as Deathwish and Frost back up the entrance ramp.

 

Xero: “You want to play me for a fool, Deathwish! You think you’re smarter than me Frost! You think your buddy TNT is so big and bad! Let’s say you make it easier on all of us and let me have your asses in a six man tag right here next week!”

 

The fans explode in approval of the idea. Danny and Frost shake their heads and laugh.

 

Xero: “If Ash wants in on it, that’s cool with me. If I have to go it alone, I don’t care. Why don’t you pussies think about it and let me know. I won’t be hard to find…I’ll…be right…BEHIND…YOU!”

 

The shot revolves around and fades to be replaced by the Smarkdown logo hovering over the live crowd. The camera then cuts to the commentator’s table.

 

Stevens: “Those were the events of our last program and while that last challenge is still hanging in the air, the first is about ready to come to fruition as Frost and Ash Ketchum battle once more.”

 

Riley: “I would think that Xero had all he could handle of Deathwish earlier tonight, and if Ketchum can’t beat Frost with the man’s arms HANDCUFFED behind his back what makes him think he can take down the fully function Iceman. Put the kiddies to bed, this slaughter is going to be TV-MA.”

 

The camera then cuts to the entrance stage as the lights flicker out and the tickling sound of piano ivories waft through the arena. A small cheer emits from the fans as a stream of gold pyro dances down the SmarkTron. A spinning Pokemon ball adorns the view screen, building speed until the smiling and winking visage of you know who pops in front of it.

 

Funyon: “Introducing first at a weight of 258 pounds…”

 

Funyon is drowned out by a huge blast of fireworks and the “Pokemon Theme” kicking into high gear. A spotlight shines down to illuminate Ash Ketchum standing with his arms out and his back to the audience. He spins around as the pyro dies off and the fans explode. Ash sashays to the top of the ramp and then runs down it high fiving the fans along its stretch and dotting ringside.

 

Funyon: “he hails form Pallet Town, AKA Tampa, Florida. He is a member of X Force 9 and THE Poke Freak…ASH…KETCH…UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!”

 

Stevens: “The increasingly pregnant Misty is once again absent from ringside. I have to wonder if it her delicate condition or Ash’s fear of what Frost might do to her is keeping the lovely young lady away.”

 

Riley: “What Frost might do to her? How about what she might do to him. Ketchum doesn’t what his broad drooling over that hunky piece of man meat and getting any ideas in her head.”

 

Stevens: “Please add ‘hunky piece of man meat’ to the list of thing I don’t want you saying in my presence.”

 

Ash slides into the ring and ascends the nearest turnbuckles. He grandstands for the crowd and toss his shirt to them as a souvenir for some lucky fan. The pounding guitars of “Cities on Flame with Rock ‘n Roll” cuts through the sound system as boos quickly replace the cheers.

 

Funyon: “And his opponent from Reykjavik, Iceland at a weight of 296 pounds. He is a member of the Magnificent 7 and one half of the SWF Tag Team Champions… FRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!”

 

The Icelandic Iceman strolls to the top of the stage with a cigar clenched tightly in his teeth and holds up a fist of defiance to the jeering throng before proceeding to the ring.

 

Stevens: “As revealed in the replay, if Ash can score the win here he and a partner of his choosing will receive a tag title shot at some point in the near future.”

 

Riley: “Far be it for me to question the man’s brilliance, but it’s not really up to him to book matches, it’s up to Stubby. He can’t go around passing out title shots like party favors.”

 

Stevens: “Maybe he’s counting on Stubby blocking the match?”

 

Riley: (with a sly grin) “Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.”

 

Frost grinds his cigar out on the ring post and flings it high into the stands. He pulls himself up to the apron and stands there as the cigar comes flying back to strike right below his feet. Frost steps over the top rope and eyes Ketchum with disdain.

 

DING DING DING

 

Stevens: “Funyon hits the floor, the ref calls for the bell and we’re underway.”

 

Ketchum turns from his cheering fans to take a right hand to the face. Frost peppers him with two more shots and then grips him by the wrist for an Irish whip. Ash reverses, Frost reverses, Ash reverses again and follows through with a short arm clothesline to knock both men down.

 

Stevens: “Hot sequence to start and Ash heads for the far ropes.”

 

Riley: “Most don’t think of Ash as a power wrestling, mostly because he’s a pussy, but he does have the size and strength to almost stand toe to toe with a man like Frost.”

 

Frost makes his feet and moves into the center of the ring with his arm out to catch Ketchum with a clothesline. Ash ducks under and heads for the opposite ropes. Frost plants his left foot and spins on his axis to nail Ash on his way back through with a spinning back fist.

 

Riley: “I said ALMOST.”

 

Stevens: “Pin point precision on that strike and Frost follows with a knee to the chest, that knocked the wind out of him.”

 

Frost stands while pulling Ash up with him by the sides of his head. He rears his thick skull back and drills Ash right above the eyes with a stiff headbutt. Ketchum stumbles woozily back into the corner and slumps there. Before he can move, Frost rushes in with an elbow to his face. He takes a brief second to laugh at the barking crowd and then turns to take Ash over his shoulder with a snapmare.

 

Stevens: “Ketchum is sitting on the mat from the snapmare…Frost is measuring him…THRUST KICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Ash collapses to his side.”

 

Riley: “Look at the increased speed and new array of moves. If he keeps this type of improvement up we’re only mere months away from having Lucha-Frost on our hands.”

 

Frost nudges Ketchum over with the toe of his boot and stands on his throat while holding onto the top rope for leverage.

 

Stevens: “Although some old habits appear to die hard for the Icelander as referee Anthony Michael Hall forces the break on the illegal tactic.”

 

Riley: “Why tinker with what works?”

 

Frost scowls at Hall before leaning down to pick Ash up by his hair. He turns back to back with his opponent and wrap a meaty forearm over his throat to pull him off the mat.

 

Stevens: “Frost continues to drain Ketchum of vital oxygen with the Icelandic backbreaker.”

 

Riley: “You see, Ash is a big fat dork who wishes he was a skinny high flying dork, so if you wear him down and ground him, you own the freak.”

 

Stevens: “The Poke Freak.”

 

Riley: “No, he’s just a freak.”

 

Frost ratchets down on the hold and makes to move to the center of the ring. Ash hooks a toe around the top ring rope to hold himself and when Frost advances, Ketchum breaks free and collapses to the mat.

 

Stevens: “Ash keeps his wits to break the hold and he seems to be in dire straits very early here.”

 

Riley: “And to continue with that motif, here’s the Sultan of Swing.”

 

Frost roughly jerks Ash up and stands back to back with him again. This time he grapevines the man’s arms and pulls him off the canvas for an airplane spin. One revolution…two…three…four…five…fwoosh!!!!! Frost tosses Ash off his back and he goes twirling like a pinwheel to the ground a few feet out.

 

Stevens: “Frost steps forward…leaps with a spin into the air…LEGDROP! Here’s the cover!”

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

 

TH-

 

Stevens: “No, he didn’t hook the leg and Ash sneaks a foot on the ropes to break.”

 

Riley: “I don’t think Frost was done punishing him yet, anyway.”

 

Frost jerks Ash gruffly to his feet and takes a second out to howl at the raunchy crowd. He whips Ketchum into the far ropes and plants himself with his arm out.

 

Riley: “HELL FREEZES OVER!”

 

Stevens: “HOLD ON, BOBBY! Ash recovers just enough to baseball slide under the arm and to the floor! He’s trying to regain his bearings out there, but HERE COMES FROST!”

 

Frost steps over the top rope to stand on the apron and hover above Ash with his head down and breathing hard on the floor. The audience gives a shout of warning as Frost drops off with a double axe handle. Ash looks up as Frost leaves the apron and skips back. He plants his left leg and thrusts out his right in a superkick that catches Frost in the jaw as he touches down.

 

Stevens: “Frost staggers away after the superkick and a refreshed Ash gives chase.”

 

Riley: “I’d tell them to get back in the ring, but I don’t think Hall can count to ten.”

 

(One) Ash bolts up behind Frost just as he looks to turn the ring corner. (Two) He clamps his hands up under the man’s arms and behind his neck. (Three) Ash grapevines the right leg with his own and sweeps Frost forward to take the guardrail on the chin. (Four)

 

Stevens: “ROCK, PAPERS, SCISSORS AND FROST MIGHT BE OUT COLD!”

 

Riley: “It’s a full nelson leg sweep, does Ash have to name every damn thing. (Five) He’s never came up with an original move in his life, he just steals other people’s stuff and renames it.” (Six)

 

Ash climbs to his feet and scampers up to the apron. He pokes his head through the second rope to break the count and then turns to face Frost. Frost pulls him up by the guardrail. He bends over it for a moment collecting himself and Ash pops off the apron to crack Frost back into the guardrail with a scissors kick.

 

Stevens: “AIR KETCHUM DEUX! FROST EATS RAILING AGAIN!”

 

Riley: “See what I mean! Why doesn’t he use the Pokemon Ass Scratcher, or as I like to call it, an armbar!”

 

Ketchum picks Frost up with one hand on his head and the other on his tights. He shovels his opponent back into the ring and climbs to the apron. Ash steps up to the bottom rope and grips the top. He bounces in place to build some oomph and then springboards up and over the ropes to strike Frost in the chest with a legdrop. The fans pop as Ash scrambles for the cover, but it’s of little use.

 

Stevens: “No dice! The still conscious Frost reaches out and grabs the bottom rope before Ash can even attempt the pin.”

 

Riley: “You can daze his body, but not his mind.”

 

Ketchum leaps to his feet and snatches Frost by the ankles. Frost holds onto to the bottom rope for dear life as Ash tries to pull him out. His hulking body hangs a few inches over the mat and with one last tug; Frost loses his grip and bangs out to the canvas. Ash rotates up on his right leg and cocks his arm back.

 

Stevens: “Ash with an elbow drop and here’s the cover!”

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

 

TH-

 

Riley: “Kick out! It’s going to take a high impact move to really knock Frost out of it and Ketchum has wasted the opportunity from cheapshotting him on the outside.”

 

Ash pulls Frost up by his close-cropped hair and leaves him to stand on shaky legs as he heads for the ropes. Frost throws out a groggy clothesline, but Ash ducks and darts for the opposite ropes. Frost turns to meet Ash as he goes for a Thesz Press, but he shuffles back and catches Ash around the top of his thighs and flips him down with a hard smash.

 

Stevens: “Frost counters the Poke Ball Press with a standing spinebuster. Both men down.”

 

Riley: “You think you own him and the Velvet Fog takes you out.”

 

Stevens: “The Velvet Fog? Who came up with that?”

 

Riley: “Frost did and I’m not arguing with the man.”

 

Both men roll to their sides, breathing hard as the ref makes his double count out. Frost rolls to the ropes and starts pulling himself up as Ash trips to his feet like a drunk.

 

Riley: “It fits though. He’s slow and smooth and rolls right in without you realizing it until its too late.”

 

Ash sees Frost bent over the cords and charges with a rope straddle. He catches Frost in the upper part of is back and they both awkwardly get hung up in the ropes.

 

Stevens: “Describing Ash or Frost there, Bobby? Ketchum makes his feet and drags Frost up with a wristlock. He gives it a few good wrenches.”

 

Frost winces from the pain in his arm and drops to one knee. Ash keeps on the arm wringer and then takes a deep breath to steel himself. He jerks Frost up and into him as he lowers his shoulder and attempts to get him up for an Olympic Slam, but Frost is too heavy and Ash is too worn. Frost slips to his feet behind Ash, shakes his arm free and uses his other to wrap Ketchum around the throat and hammers him down.

 

Stevens: “INVERTED DDT TO COUNTER THE PIKASLAM!”

 

Riley: “Really the Olympic Slam, he makes up stupid names for moves with pr-existing stupid names.”

 

Frost sits up on the canvas and scans the roaring crowd with disgust. He tows Ketchum up as he stands and cinches an arm across his chest and under Ash’s shoulder.

 

Stevens: “Frost sets up the Ice Shelf, and that’s a name HE made up.”

 

Riley: “But he doesn’t do it for every kick and punch! And the real name of that is an uranage, which sounds like you have a problem pissing with the wonder weasel.”

 

Stevens: “Charming.”

 

Frost grumbles and barks at the jeering crowd as he holds the limp Ash. He finally picks him up to complete the move, but Ash fidgets out and twists behind Frost while grabbing his outstretched arm. Continuing his fluid motion, Ash bends down to lift Frost across his shoulders and falls back!

 

Stevens: “PIKASLAM! Sloppy, but effective as both men are out again.”

 

Riley: “I know the humanoids are idiots, but DO NOT PLAY TO THEM! They’ll only get you messed up like right there.”

 

Stevens: “You talk about Frost’s confidence, but it cost him in giving Ash too much time to recover.”

 

Hall counts as both grapplers roll around on the canvas exhausted. They stumble to their feet and Ketchum plows headlong into Frost to catch him across the chest and under his armpit.

 

Stevens: “Ash goes for his version of the Ice Shelf, the PokeRap!”

 

Frost pivots around Ash out of his grip and hooks the outstretched arm with a half nelson. Frost vaults forward and rips Ketchum off his feet with a half nelson bulldog. Frost sits on the mat for a second and then collapses to his side as Ash lays unmoving on his stomach.

 

Stevens: “Counters into desperation moves abound as both men are nearly finished.”

 

Riley: “They’re starting to know each other very well in the ring and that becomes dangerous. If someone can read your whole move set, you have to outsmart them in other ways, and we all know who has the advantage in the brains department.”

 

Frost climbs the ropes like ladder rungs to make his feet and bends over to jerk Ash up with a waistlock. Ash slumps like a rag doll in the Icelander’s massive arms, feet dangling over the canvas. Frost sharply flings Ketchum back with a German suplex! The fans moan as Ash’s head spikes off the canvas.

 

Stevens: “Frost holds on. He’s going for another one!”

 

Frost deftly rolls up to his feet and suplexes Ash over again!

 

Riley: “Don’t get fancy! Doing the rolling Germans like that cuts down on their power. JUST BREAK HIS NECK!”

 

Frost rolls gamely to up to his feet again and looks for another. He pauses to scream at the crowd and Ketchum sends back a weak elbow.

 

Stevens: “Too slow, Frost dodges, but it allows Ash to make the standing switch!”

 

Ash grips a weak rear waistlock and the surprised Frost thrusts back an elbow of his own. Ash ducks it, but much like he did, Frost goes with the momentum and flips behind Ash to grab the waistlock again. An adrenaline surging Ash, steps his left leg back around Frost’s to ground him and then leverages around for another switch. Frost attempts the elbow again, but Ash ducks and readjusts his hands between Frost’s legs and puts his head in the man’s armpit. He picks Frost up with a grunt and falls back!

 

Stevens: “TEARDROP SUPLEX! Not much elevation, but not much was needed! Frost is down and Ash is on his second wind!”

 

Riley: “He’ll need his tenth wind before this is over. Frost is a tough son of a bitch to beat!”

 

Ash totters up and lurches for the far ropes. He ricochets off at a dead run and springs into the air with a flip, a tuck and a fold out. He crashes down across the big man’s chest and the whole ring quakes from the blow!

 

Stevens: “Rolling five star frog splash! THE COVER!”

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THREE-

 

Riley: “SHOULDER UP! CHRIST, THE SHOULDER IS UP!”

 

Stevens: “Ash bolts upright, not wasting any time. He’s heads for the near corner and climbs!”

 

Stevens: “TNT! DEATHWISH! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS?!”

 

Ash stands to face the ring and puts his arms above his head. The fans encourage him to go for it with their feverish screams. Ketchum bends down for extra leverage and leaps off into the night air of the US Airlines Arena. Flashbulbs glare and breaths are held as Ketchum revolves in a sweet ballet. He makes his final revolution right over Frost and bends his knee out to plunge it deep into the Iceman’s chest…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Riley: “HE MOVED! FROST MOVED! THANK YA’ JESUS! THANK YA’ LORD!”

 

Stevens: “ ASH JUST JAMMED HIS KNEE INTO THE CANVAS ON THE MISSSED POKE BALL, GO!”

 

Frost rolls over to his back, still fairly dazed. Ash lurches around the ring in obvious pain. He tries to stand, but his leg buckles and he tumbles out of the ring to the floor. Hall hurtles through the ropes and to the ground to check on Ketchum. A roar rifles through the crowd as a figure can be seen vaulting over the guardrail with a chair in hand…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stevens: “IT’S XERO! IT’S XERO! HE’S RUSHING TO THE APRON AND UP THE OUTSIDE POST!”

 

Riley: “NO! NO! NO! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING! WHERE’S THE REF! WHERE’S SECURITY! WHERE’S MY MOMMY!”

 

The fans are going absolutely nuts as Xero perches and measures Frost from the top rope. He holds the chair close to his chest and then launches himself into the air. Xero twists and turns with a shooting star press, being cautious of how he holds the chair, and finally comes booming down square to Frost’s chest.

 

Stevens: “ABSOULTE XERO WITH THE CHAIR! I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT! FROST’S STERNUM MIGHT BE SHATTERED!”

 

Riley: “I’m not watching this! I’m not watching this! I’m not watching this!”

 

Xero glides out of the ring and jumps back over the guardrail and spirits off with the fans going full goose bozo for his interference. Ash forces himself up with his forearms draped over the apron and sees Frost lying still in the ring. Unaware of what has transpired, both he and the ref make their way in. Ash crawls across the ring, his injured right leg dragging behind him and he flops weakly down on Frost to a thunderous pop.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

DING DING DING

 

Funyon: “Here is your winner by pinfall…ASH…KETCH… UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!”

 

Ash slides off of Frost and sits woozily on the canvas. The ref reaches down and hoists his arm in victory as the fans deafeningly cheer. The commentators yell to be heard over the din.

 

Riley: “THEY SET FROST UP! XERO AND ASH HAD THIS ALL WORKED OUT! HIS LEG IS FINE! HE WOULD HAVE FELL OUT OF THE RING REGARDLESS! HE’S GOLDBRICKING!”

 

Stevens: “IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE NOW! ASH SCORES THE WIN AND THE TAG TITLE SHOT, STUBBY BE WILLING!”

 

Riley: “THIS WAS FROST’S MATCH! THEY STOLE IT FROM HIM ON THEIR SNEAKY, DIRTY TWO TIMING!”

 

Stevens: “Using Frost’s own tactics against him.”

 

Riley: “SHUT THE HELL UP!”

 

Ash collapses on the mat, as Frost lies comatose, his chest laboring to heave up and down in breathing. The camera zooms in for a close up of the fallen Icelander and fades to break.

[Guest Muzz]

I'd have a losing match, but I had no time to write. Maybe I should only be booked one show a week, preferably weekends, because I have school work and other things to get to which are more important.

[Guest TheAntipop]

That match was excellent, Annagram.