Metal Ed Posted September 8, 2002 Author Report Posted September 8, 2002 Metal Ed. I have a big desire to grow a mullet, tear some holes into the kneecaps of my jeans, wear bitchin' Sammy Hagar shirts, and build a table out of cinder blocks and wood for my own Rock Box. Should I do this, and if so, will you help me break into a construction site to steal the blocks? That's what I'm talkin about, dude! You should come to Wausau, man. Me and Matt could show you the ropes. Probably could hook you up with the big chick up to the Wal-Mart, Wanda. We did a threeway with her, so I know she puts out. I could hook you up with some supplies from the junkyard, man. We got all sorts of shit out there.
Guest Marshall Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 Why is Metal Ed a Tough Enough Contestant?
Guest TheRockIsTheEuropeanChampion Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 Why do I no longer exist, Metal Ed?
Metal Ed Posted September 8, 2002 Author Report Posted September 8, 2002 Why is Metal Ed a Tough Enough Contestant? I was thinking of going on that Tough Enough, man. I figure I could be a rassler. It don't look too hard or nothin. I've been trying to bulk up and everything. Been drinking lots of beer. I don't know if my head wound is gonna mess it up now.
Metal Ed Posted September 8, 2002 Author Report Posted September 8, 2002 Why do I no longer exist, Metal Ed? See, this is the bullshit I was talkin about. Metal Ed ain't got no time for this. I'll let it pass this time, but if you ask another dumbass question I'm hoppin in my Trans Am and coming looking for ya.
Guest Kotzenjunge Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 I'd actually like to meet Metal Ed, even if he is cracking my skull, so.... Metal Ed, why do I no longer exist? Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge
Guest TheRockIsTheEuropeanChampion Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 Oh damn! The Mullet Gods are angry! I must.. repair.. this...: Metal Ed? Do you use hair spray on your mullet or do you go "natural"?
Guest WukenBloodstar Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 Dear Metal Ed, I have this psycho of an ex, always screaming at me for something...mostly my music. She doesn't like 80's metal(you know what I mean) She doesn't like Metallica nor Ozzy Osbourne...but she thinks Fred Durst is the shit! Oh wise one, what should I do? Should I trash all of her cd's and show her the wonders of the 80's metal?
Metal Ed Posted September 8, 2002 Author Report Posted September 8, 2002 I'd actually like to meet Metal Ed, even if he is cracking my skull, so.... Metal Ed, why do I no longer exist? Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge I tried to get up and grab my keys, but I fell down. I'm on a bunch of medication from when the toaster fell on my head. I can't do much of nothin. You're on my list, though, dude. Metal Ed's list is one place you don't wanna be.
Metal Ed Posted September 8, 2002 Author Report Posted September 8, 2002 Oh damn! The Mullet Gods are angry! I must.. repair.. this...: Metal Ed? Do you use hair spray on your mullet or do you go "natural"? I use a little Aqua Net every once in a while, specially when I'm gettin laid that night. Gotta have the mullet look nice when you're gettin some, know what I mean? But usually I just comb it for about 45 minutes. Get all the bugs out.
Guest MrRant Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 Ed: If you bang said head... will it infact drive you mad? And if so how much "banging" is required before you head gets mad?
Metal Ed Posted September 8, 2002 Author Report Posted September 8, 2002 Dear Metal Ed, I have this psycho of an ex, always screaming at me for something...mostly my music. She doesn't like 80's metal(you know what I mean) She doesn't like Metallica nor Ozzy Osbourne...but she thinks Fred Durst is the shit! Oh wise one, what should I do? Should I trash all of her cd's and show her the wonders of the 80's metal? You just put some of that heavy shit on your Rock Box...like some Warrant or somethin...and start bangin' your head pretty good. Get real into it. Start playin some air guitar. Thrash that shit, man. She'll see how awesome you look and be all over you, dude. She'll be beggin to borrow your Slaughter tapes, man, I'm tellin you. That's what Metal Ed does. Wanda, the big chick from up at Wal-Mart, listens to country. I ain't got no time for none of that redneck bullshit. She comes over, sees Metal Ed rockin out to his Rock Box, and she's gettin all hot, man. I got her listenin to some Def Leppard now. I figure she'll be a total convert soon.
Guest WukenBloodstar Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 Metal Ed, you are a life saver, thank YOU MAN! Rock on brother
Metal Ed Posted September 8, 2002 Author Report Posted September 8, 2002 Ed: If you bang said head... will it infact drive you mad? And if so how much "banging" is required before you head gets mad? Ain't too much bangin necessary to drive you mad, specially when you bang it as hard as Metal Ed. I kill some brain cells, dude. I get into that shit. I start seeing stuff sometimes. I was bangin my head to some Cinderella one time and I saw Jimmy Carter ride across my living room on a seal. Swear to god, man.
Guest MrRant Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 Was he on his way to build a house for the less fortunate?
Metal Ed Posted September 8, 2002 Author Report Posted September 8, 2002 Was he on his way to build a house for the less fortunate? He said somethin about peanuts and then I passed out. I ain't too sure what happened after that.
Guest MrRant Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 Damn because that sounded like a dream I had. Of course then Nixon showed up on a ostrich saying "I'm not a crook".
Guest Kotzenjunge Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 That was TOO funny. Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge
Guest TheRockIsTheEuropeanChampion Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 ... No Eric Bischoff for you two? Oh, why must I be the Chosen One???...
Guest Kotzenjunge Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 Er, what? Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge
Guest TheRockIsTheEuropeanChampion Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 Nothing, nothing at all...
Guest El Psycho Diablo Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 TRITEC: Conspiracy Victim?
Metal Ed Posted September 8, 2002 Author Report Posted September 8, 2002 TRITEC is on my list, dude. One day you're gonna hear the screech of a Trans Am's wheels and some Lynyrd Skynryd blarin' down your street. Then you'll know it's time.
Guest MrRant Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 Will it be.... Vader Time? Or Tea Time? Or how about Nappy time? I always liked nappy time in Kindergarden... got your milk and cookies and got to sleep on a towel!
Guest TheRockIsTheEuropeanChampion Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 TRITEC: Conspiracy Victim? Shhh, EPD. If they find out that you know-- DAMN. <--- I'll be getting *my* three minutes soon...
Guest evenflowDDT Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 Hey Metal Ed, Don't put me on your list or nothing, but I'm ashamed to say I only own one Van Halen album, a vinyl copy of 1984 that I can't play now 'cuz my needle's busted. What other Van Halen albums do you recommend? Which one has the "Ice Cream Man" song on it, I love that song!
Guest Charlie Marvin Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 Sorry, Metal Ed, but Skid Row gets no play at Marvin's Morning Madhouse.
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 Dear Metal Ed, I was stuck in a car with a bunch of sissy motherfuckers, (we were going to the liquor store) and they put in this Ja Rule bullshit. I said, "No way fucker, listen to something with some balls." Well, they got all shitty about it and turned it down, but when I was in the liquor store, they took off like a bunch of bitches and ditched me there! Anyway, I was walking down the street with a bottle of Jim Beam and a six pack to my house when I tripped on a crack in the sidewalk. The beer hit the ground, but I saved the Beam. My question is, how long should I wait before crackin' the brew open? See, I don't want it to spray everywhere and waste some perfectly fine suds.
Guest cobainwasmurdered Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 TRITEC is on my list, dude. One day you're gonna hear the screech of a Trans Am's wheels and some Lynyrd Skynryd blarin' down your street. Then you'll know it's time. Fuck this guy is funny. He reminds me of my brother.
Guest Marshall Posted September 8, 2002 Report Posted September 8, 2002 Um....Mr Ed, what do you say to rumours that you are afraid of Guy Stokes?
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