SJL Crimson Card (9/15/02)

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

SJL CRIMSON CARD - September 15, 2002

 

Venue: The former ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania!

Due Date: September 15, 2002, at 3 pm EST

Send Promos To: crusen86

 

Whoo! Time for another one of the Doggah's crazy theme shows. Don't worry, this won't be quite as wacky as Ash Ketchum's backyard, but since we're at the old ECW Arena, that means things are going to get... hardcore.

 

CARD!

 

TRIPLE THREAT

Cutthroat vs. Ejiro Fasaki vs. Jack the Ripper

Summary: We could have the two newest members of the SJL fight each other, but what would be the fun in that? They seem like they want to start off with a challenge! Newcomer Ejiro Fasaki tangles with the... um... impressive (read: winless) Cutthroat, as well as returned veteran Jack the Ripper.

Rules: Triple threat rules apply. First pinfall wins.

Word Count: 3000

Send To: Tod deKindes

 

NEWBIE MATCH

Johnny "The Barracuda" Dangerous vs. Blank

Summary: The secret agent makes his SJL debut! First up, he'll be taking on the rookie Blank. But is Blank who he claims to be? Could the skateboarding persona be a front? Does he even have a real name? Johnny tries to answer these and other questions this Sunday!

Rules: Standard.

Word Count: 3000

Send To: Tod deKindes

 

EUROPEAN TITLE MATCH

Matt Myers© vs. Leon Sharpe™

Summary: Leon Sharpe performed impressively in the four way match on Wrath, earning himself a shot at Matt Myers' European Championship. Win the title, buy the shirt! Win the title, buy the shirt! Get the point?

Rules: Standard.

Word Count: 4000

Send To: Longdogger_Pete

 

CAGE & GAVEL MATCH

Judge Mental vs. Kamikaze

Summary: Kamikaze isn't quite right in the head. Funny, I don't think the Judge is either. Kamikaze issued the challenge on Wrath, so here it is: Mental vs. mental! Kamikaze, the mental patient, provides the "cage" element, and the Judge provides the "gavel," so team them up and you have an awesome match waiting to happen!

Rules: Only way to win this one is by escaping the cage (over the top - no "magic door" rule in effect). The only weapon in the cage when the match starts is a wooden gavel. No DQ in effect.

Word Count: 5000

Send To: The Boston Strangler

 

TABLES, LADDERS, CHAIRS, AND CANES MATCH

Tim Dillon/Thor vs. Fugue/Mike Van Siclen

Summary: In true ECW fashion we've got a big name tag match with some big time weaponry. The description really speaks for itself.

Rules: No DQ in effect. Tables, ladders, chairs, and Singapore canes can and should be used in any possible way imaginable. Oh yeah... tornado tag rules obviously.

Word Count: 5000

Send To: crusen86

 

STEEL PIPE MATCH

Flunkmasta Flexxx vs. Jacob Helmsley

Summary: Even if we've already seen something like this before, it wouldn't be an ECW-style SJL card without a steel pipe match from the master pipe psycho, Jacob Helmsley. Jake takes on Flexx in another epic battle.

Rules: No DQ in effect. Lots o' steel pipe action required for the massive enjoyment of our audience.

Word Count: 4500

Send To: SuicideKing

 

MAIN EVENT

NO-DISQUALIFICATION TORNADO TAG MATCH

"The Franchise" Mak Francis/"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs. C. I. A./Manson

Summary: The World title contendership will continue on Metal. Until then the sWo will have to take on Manson, in addition to the World champion, C. I. A, in a tag team contest where anything and everything could happen!

Rules: No DQ in effect. No tagging in and out; everyone can be in the ring! Whoo!

Word Count: 5500

Send To: Edwin MacPhisto

[Guest Powerplay]

CAGE & GAVEL MATCH

Judge Mental vs. Kamikaze

Summary: Kamikaze isn't quite right in the head. Funny, I don't think the Judge is either. Kamikaze issued the challenge on Wrath, so here it is: Mental vs. mental! Kamikaze, the mental patient, provides the "cage" element, and the Judge provides the "gavel," so team them up and you have an awesome match waiting to happen!

Rules: Only way to win this one is by escaping the cage (over the top - no "magic door" rule in effect). The only weapon in the cage when the match starts is a wooden gavel. No DQ in effect.

Word Count: 5000

Send To: The Boston Strangler

 

This..... kicks...... ASS!

[Guest ScorpionDanceofDeath]

It gives new meaning to 'life behind bars'..

 

Judge, prepare for the prosecution!

[Guest Tod deKindes]

"Fuck Tod", eh?

 

I dare you to send something in, bitch.

[Guest Goodear]

"Fuck Tod", eh?

 

I dare you to send something in, bitch.

So should I even try to make him look even the least bit good?

[Guest Powerplay]

"Fuck Tod", eh?

 

I dare you to send something in, bitch.

So should I even try to make him look even the least bit good?

You don't really need to, but you may want to even the match out a little just so you'll be ready when you fight better opponents. And wow... A triple threat match right off the bat.

[Guest Goodear]

You don't really need to, but you may want to even the match out a little just so you'll be ready when you fight better opponents. And wow... A triple threat match right off the bat.

I know. Old Ejiro is going to have his hands full, since his submission offence is going to be tough to work into a 3-way dance. Looks like a job for... bumping all match long!!! YAY! Or not... we shall see.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

I get to mark a tornado tag? WOO!

 

Pete cards rule.

[Guest Tod deKindes]

It's up to you, Goodear.

[Guest hhh6294]

lol... Like Deepthroat's going to send something in anyways...

 

BTW Tod... I love both of the dance pics you got down there

 

Another match with the steel involved... will it never end?

 

[Guest Tod deKindes]

EDIT: The Spider Troop is fixed and BACK! Giving me a reason to use this:

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

Whoooo...

 

I get to be champion!

[Guest Insanityman]

Rules: No DQ in effect.  Tables, ladders, chairs, and Singapore canes can and should be used in any possible way imaginable.

Oh God... I finally get to vent some of those insane spots in my head. *Drools.* LDP you rock... it's cards like these (least the stips) that make the JL so damn enjoyable.

[Guest hhh6294]

EDIT: The Spider Troop is fixed and BACK! Giving me a reason to use this:

Uh... it's still messed up there TdK... it 'resets' after the first kick off... and keeps doing it over and over, while the Spidey only pic is just an X in the box...

 

 

but still...

[Guest dr-smogz]

Cutthroat deleted his stats saying "bye bye." Should I write him in the match? Can I try and seriously injure his character in my match since he's leaving?

[Guest DiabloIIFreak1010]

Cutthroat deleted his stats saying "bye bye." Should I write him in the match? Can I try and seriously injure his character in my match since he's leaving?

Zuh...wazh...ufhmapppA?

 

OH MY GOD

 

 

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

[Guest HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

Whoooo...

 

I get to be champion!

Dont count your eggs before the Chicken gets fucked.

 

 

Or something like that.

[Guest kelloggs]

Uh yeah... I just realized something...so this post gets edited. Still good card LDP

[Guest Tod deKindes]

Cutthroat deleted his stats saying "bye bye." Should I write him in the match? Can I try and seriously injure his character in my match since he's leaving?

By all means.

 

Extra credit goes to whoever kills him the most.

 

Suggestions:

 

[Guest Goodear]

Cutthroat deleted his stats saying "bye bye." Should I write him in the match? Can I try and seriously injure his character in my match since he's leaving?

Hey, Jack. I have a copy of Cutthroat's stats and stuff before they went all *POOF* if you need a copy. I'll be happy to send them to you via PM. Just let me know.

[Guest dr-smogz]

Yeah, please send them to me.

[Guest hhh6294]

... so does this mean that Jake can randomly kill Cutfuck with his pipe?

 

 

 

 

Cool

[Guest Insane Clown Dan]

That would be most fun, it would be pho sho.

 

Speakin' of pipes, what are the rules for a steel pipe match? Never written one or read one that was non-ladder or anything else.

[Secret Agent 0]

Well leave it to me to not read the whole thing before i began writting. I didn't notice i have to keep it under 3000 words so i guess i'll try to shave it down. (I got a little carried away )

 

Also, are we supose to have ECW references in our matches? If so i'll need to add a few in.

[Guest Ace309]

Eh. Follow your heart, Johnny. If you feel they belong, then write them in.

 

If not, send me money.

[Guest kelloggs]

Yes you must have up to and including 10 references... and say that Philly has the best & craziest wrestling crowds ever.

 

DOOOOO IIIIIIIT!

 

M. "Philly pride" Francis

 

PS don't listen to Flesher listen to MEEEEEE

[Guest Ace309]

Just refer to the crowd as "The Mutants."

[Guest Tod deKindes]

I've gotten ONE match so far, plus I'll be out sunday evening, so try and get your matches in my inbox for sunday afternoon.

[Guest kelloggs]

Are you making the common wise crack about the ECDub crowd, Flesher...

 

Just wait until I have a match in Buffalo... then we'll see how many Bills jokes I can make King crack without actually commenting on the match.

 

M. "Mutants eh" Francis

 

Oh yeah I think the term is

 

 

 

 

+1

[Guest Ace309]

I no-sell the Bills.

 

Please, just mock our lack of good taste.