SWF Storm (September 20, 2002)

September 21, 2002

BOOM!

::Pyro::

BOOM!

::Screaming fans::

(Stevens) – Live from The American Airlines Arena in beautiful Miami, Florida! This is SWF STOOOOORRRRRRRMMMM!!! I’m Mark Stevens, and as always, my bisexual cohost, Bobby Riley is right alongside me…and what a night we have lined up!

(Riley) – Now that’s an understatement if I ever heard one. We have a main event that’s probably one of the best stips ever invented!

(Stevens) – That’s right Bobby…Miami Mayhem! Oh, it’s going to be huge…The inventer of the match, Longdogger Pete takes on Perfect Bo and the champion, Chris Wilson! ICTV TITLE ON THE LINE! Oh, what a match…someone’s going to get wet tonight!

(Riley) – And for once, it won’t be me!

(Stevens) – I’m not even going to dignify that with a response…let’s take a look at our stacked card!

September 21, 2002

The Card

SINGLES MATCH

Chris Raynor vs. Ced Ordonez

- Raynor has been making a lot of demands of Stubby lately, but not winning a lot of matches. As a result of this Stubby’s got Raynor curtain jerking for his own personal amusement.

NON-TITLE SINGLES MATCH

Tod deKindes vs. Danny Williams

- Danny’s yet to get a shot at singles gold and he wants one. While this is a non-title match, a win over the new US champ would definitely help Williams get a shot.

NO-DQ SINGLES MATCH

Annie Eclectic vs. Renegade

- Annie abandoned X Force 9 and since then she’s been downright impolite towards them. Renegade will be marching into battle this Friday with some XF9 pride on the line.

LIGHT-HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH

Tom Flesher © vs. Z

- Z’s stock is definitely on the rise. Not only is he the new leader of the legendary Midnight Carnival, but he recently secured a win over former heavyweight champ, Chris Wilson. Can he turn this momentum into championship gold?

TAG TEAM MATCH

El Luchadore Magnifico & Edwin MacPhisto vs. Sacred & Divefire

- The Carnival versus Sacred & Divefire. While at first Magnifico and MacPhisto may look like the more solid team, Magnifico recently ended MacPhisto’s record setting title reign. Can they keep it together against Sacred (who recently beat Magnifico in a non-title match) and Divefire?

TRIPLE THREAT MIAMI MAYHEM MATCH FOR THE ICTV TITLE

Chris Wilson © vs. Longdogger Pete vs. Perfect Bo

- Longdogger Pete and Perfect Bo both want a shot at Chris Wilson and his ICTV title and they’ll both get it on Storm! Will Wilson be able to survive a match against two guys who hate his guts, while under LDP’s trademark stip? Let’s hope not!

September 21, 2002

The arena lights dim slightly and "B4U ~glorious style~" pumps up the crowd! The lights around the entranceway flash in rhythm to the bass, and the curtain beneath the SmarkTron flies open…

“… and here comes Ced Ordonez to open the night!”

He surveys the crowd and slaps the hands of fans while making his way down the ramp. When he gets about midway to the ring he stops and poses as black, blue and silver streamers are thrown from the crowd!

“The following contest,” bellows Funyon, “is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Sacremento, Californiaaa… weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds… Ceeeeeeed Ordoooooneeeeeeez!”

After the streamers subside, he dashes down to the ring and slides in under the ropes. Popping to his feet, he heads over to Funyon, and the two strike up a lively chat.

“Ced’s been gone for quite a while,” says Mark, “and boy oh boy are these fans pumped to see him back! … and you’re awful quiet tonight, Bobby…”

“… do you know who the other guy in this match is?”

“Don’t start this again-”

“Main Eventer to Curtain Jerker, just like that! It’s a disgrace!”

“Stuff a sock in it, Riley. Yes, Ordonez may not have the best record-”

“He’s on a Cutthroat-ian losing streak!”

“… that was cold…”

The house lights drop out, and the stage lights begin to rapid-fire white beams across the stage. “The Grudge” pounds out of the sound system, and faster than you can say “Ced Ordonez has the coolest name ever,” Chris Raynor pushes through the curtain and heads down the ramp.

“His opponent, from Baton Rouge, Lousianaaa… weighing in at two hundred and fifty pounds… Chriiii- Oh dear God!”

Funyon drops the microphone and runs for dear life as Raynor charges in under the ropes, jumps to his feet, and tackles Ced from behind!

*DING DING DING*

“Yes! Get ‘em! Your name is Chris Raynor, and you don’t deserve this!”

“Riley! Ix-nay on infringing opyrights-cay.”

Raynor pins Ced down between his legs, then begins clubbing him on the back of the head with a barrage of forearms! Matty Kivell slides into the ring, a little late, and immediately begins motioning and yelling for Raynor to get off of him. Raynor glares up at the ref, then slams Ordonez’ head into the mat one more time before getting up.

“I guess Raynor shares your sentiment.”

“Anyone with a brain would! He had Wilson beat, he had Magnifico’s number, and he got royally screwed up the ass with a big spiky thing like that chick from Se7en got when sh-”

“WAY too much info, Bobby.”

Raynor takes a quick walk around the ring, waiting as Ced peeks up to see if it’s safe. He crawls up to his knees, and Raynor makes his move-

*WHOOOSH*

-Ordonez spins around and swings his legs, taking Raynor’s knees out! Before Raynor even hits the mat, Ced kip-ups and pivots on one heel, and the other one goes flying into the back of Raynor’s head! Raynor slumps over to the canvas, and Ced makes the early cover!

ONE!

TWO- Raynor gets his arms beneath Ced and pushes him off, then rolls away as Ordonez pops to his feet. He stalks Raynor, making sure not to come at him head on as he clambers up to his feet. Raynor turns to his left-

-and gets another devastating kick to the head! Raynor stumbles to his knees then back up to his feet, all the way running towards the ropes as Ced follows him from behind! Raynor makes it across the ring, grabs the top rope, and falls into it, hanging on for dear life. Ced takes two running steps forward-

*WHAM*

“-and gets LEVELLED by a clothesline from Raynor!”

“A Main Event Clothesline at that!”

Ced’s hands cover the back of his head, and he wishes for all his money he could just get a fucking Tylenol right now. Raynor, meanwhile, goes back-first into the nearest corner, to regain his senses.

“I suppose you’ll agree with me,” Mark says warily, “if I say Ced’s looking miiiighty impressive against someone who should be in the main event.”

“Rubbish! Raynor’s pretending to be hurt, to make Ced feel better. See what a great guy he is? And the fans still boo him!”

Ced is not alone in his request for Tylenol, as Raynor bemoans what feels like a shattered skull… Career ending injuries can wait til later, he thinks to himself, and he steps out to grab Ordonez, who’s now up to his feet. Ced quickly pulls his hand down and fires it up in a knife-edge chop, but Raynor catches his hand and wrings it around, then cinches in a hammerlock from behind! Ced’s movements become much more careful, and as Raynor leads him across the ring, Ordonez continues to wince with each step. Raynor drags Ordonez to the center of the ring, then keeps the hammerlock with one arm and wraps the other around Ced’s knock, and drives him down in a reverse DDT! Raynor releases the hammerlock at the last second, pulling his hand out and letting Ced fall on his own arm!

“Ouch!” says Mark, as Ced begins rolling away, holding his left arm. “That can’t feel good.”

Raynor gets back to his feet and follows Ced across the ring-

*OOMPH*

-oh… looks like Ced rolled out. Hm… Raynor swings one leg, then the other over the top rope and he hops down to the mats below. He picks Ced up off the ground and stiffs him a nice European Uppercut… just because… then grabs his arm and leads him around ringside.

“Doesn’t look like Ced will go quietly,” says Mark, as Ordonez begins to struggle. Raynor pulls him in and cinches on a headlock, and continues to-

Ced puts his arms on Raynor’s back and gives him a mighty shove forward! Raynor goes careening past the steps he was planning to use, and he crashes into the guardrail, and ends up doubling over it! Ced takes a running leap over the guardrail, then turns and grabs Raynor’s head and pushes it down, putting his throat across the guardrail - then Ced turns around and shouts to the fans…

“Oh man, if he hits this Riley…”

… puts his back to Raynor, right in front of him…

“If he hits it, then Raynor will just no-sell it and beat his ass, DUH.”

… and Ordonez crouches down, then springs up and does a standing backflip, bringing his feet down across Raynor’s head, knocking him over the guardrail into the audience! The roar of the fans is unbelievable! Ced picks himself up off the concrete and grabs the thoroughly F’d up Raynor by the hair, and tosses him back over the barricade!

“No-sell it, huh Riley?”

“It’s, uh… delayed reaction. Yea, Raynor will no-sell it in a minute.”

Ordonez springs over the guardrail and rolls Raynor back into the ring, then rolls in after him. Raynor begins scrambling on all fours in whatever direction is currently “forward” for him, but Ced quickly dashes towards him and drops down, locking on a hard headlock, then he slowly walks Raynor back up to his feet. Ordonez falls into the ropes, and Raynor uses the force to shove him off across the ring. Ced hits the opposite ropes and comes barreling back, baseball slides beneath Raynor! He jumps to his feet-

*WHAM*

“OOOOOH!

“And Raynor fires a hard elbow right back into Ced’s jaw!”

Ordonez holds his jaw and falls back into the corner, but Raynor quickly runs in after him and drives his shoulder into Ced’s midsection! A series of shoulder-blocks drive the air out of Ordonez, and after half a dozen, Raynor drags him out of the corner and whips him across the ring, then charges right after him and splashes him in the opposite corner! He pulls Ced out and hooks his arm, tights, lightning-quick snap suplex, into the cover!

ONE!

TWO- Ced kicks out!

Raynor is slow getting up, the second wind apparently wearing off. He uses the ropes to help himself up, and rests a moment as Ced makes his way toward the ropes as well. Ced reaches them across the ring and gets up to his knees when Raynor heads back to attack. Raynor reaches down and grabs a handful of Ordonez’ hair-

*CRACK*

“WHOOOO!”

“A vicious knife-edge chop from Ced!” cries Mark, as Raynor covers his chest and stumbles back. He looks down to see a bright red welt, then with a growl heads back for Ced… Ced springs to his feet and spins on his heel, sending a roundhouse kick…

… right over Raynor’s head!

“He ducked!”

Ced spins around, off balance, and Raynor grabs his waist from behind, pulls him up and over-

“-into a German Suplex… bridged, for the pin!”

ONE!

TWO!

T- Ordonez kicks out before three!

Raynor rolls to his knees and stops, trying to formulate a game plan…

*DING*

“… did you just say ding, Riley?”

“… huh?”

A light bulb in Raynor’s head goes off, and he walks over to Ced, who’s lying on his back. Raynor takes both of Ced’s hands in his and yanks the poor kid up to his feet, then wraps Ordonez’ arms around his own throat.

“Raynor, setting up The Grudge…”

But Ced drops to his knees! Raynor tries to pick him back up, but Ordones puts all his strength and effort into leaning down and forward, and the ex-Carny can’t get him back up! Raynor frustratedly lets go, then takes a running step forward and drives his knee into the back of Ced’s head, dropping him back down to the canvas.

“I tell ya,” says Mark, “this Ced’s resilient.”

“This Ced is a cheap little bastard, that’s what he is.”

Raynor steps over Ced and grabs a handful of hair, and jerks him up to his feet. He bends down and scoops Ced up, then carries him off to the corner.

“Uh oh…”

The boos increase dramatically as Raynor turns Ordonez upside down and hangs him feet over the top rope. Raynor takes a step back, sizing up the situation, then moves in for the kill.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

FIVE!

SIX!

SEVEN!

EIGHT!

NINE!

…

TEN!

Ced is doubling over, which means basically doing a situp in the corner, putting more stress on himself. He finally lets himself fall back down, still hanging up, and he tries to get his breath back. Raynor smirks, then steps forward to take Ced down-

*WHAM*

“Oh MAN!” shouts Mark, as Riley is pained just seeing it, “Ced delivers a good old fashioned kick to the face!”

Ced tumbles out of the corner, after freeing one of his legs to clock Raynor between the eyes. He’s kneeling now, trying to collect himself, as Raynor is across the ring, now absolutely positive it’s a fractured skull. He puts his hand up to his head a few times, checking for blood… finding none, he gnashes his teeth and stalks toward Ced-

-Ordonez scoots forward and slides next to Raynor, and catches him in a drop toe-hold! He quickly floats over onto Raynor and grabs his leg, but Raynor kicks free and scrambles to the ropes!

“Ced was probably going for the Cross Lightning, but Raynor’s not out of it just yet!”

Raynor grabs the bottom rope and holds on for dear life, so Ced just drops the point of his elbow down into the back of Raynor’s right knee! Raynor instinctively lets go and grabs his knee, crying out in pain - then kicking himself mentally as Ced grabs him and drags him away from the ropes! He rolls Raynor over, but the ex-Carny begins frantically kicking again, and he manages to break free and get to the ropes again! He climbs up to one knee before Ced reaches him again… Ordonez takes a running step then jumps up, dropkick headed right for Raynor’s head-

-Raynor swings his head to the side, and Ced’s legs go through the ropes, and Ced himself falls back to the mat! Raynor quickly gets to his feet and stands over Ced’s head, then grabs his legs and pulls them in, folding them over Ordonez into a pin!

ONE!

TWO!

T

H

R

E- Ced breaks free at the last second!

Both men roll to their feet and end up staring each other down from across the ring… each practically daring the other to make the first move… Raynor gives in and takes the blind charge, and pays for it as Ced dodges, and Raynor runs right into the corner, chest first! He stumbles backwards out, then is taken down with a dropkick to the back of his knees! Ced pops to his feet and backs up as Raynor tries to remember the model of truck that just ran over him - Raynor clambers up to his feet, and the moment he does he’s driven right back down with a jumping back elbow!

“Ced’s got Raynor on the run - here’s the cover!”

ONE!

TWO!

T

H

R- Raynor just barely kicks out, eliciting an “Awwwww!” from the crowd.

“Ced’s doing one hell of a job of keeping Raynor off his guard!”

Ced immediately jumps to his feet, and with a battlecry of “Eraregrghr” he elicit’s a huge reaction from the crowd as he waits for Raynor to rise! The ex-Carny slowly… slowly… slowly stumbles to his feet, then staggers out towards Ordonez, who locks him in a front headlock, then makes a mad dash for the corner, dragging him along!

“Ced’s going for a secondary finisher!”

He kicks off the first rope, the second rope, and-

-Raynor grabs him and pulls him back, driving him right back down to the canvas with a belly-to-back suplex! Another “Awwww” from the crowd, and both men are down and slow to get back to their feet.

“I honestly didn’t think Ced had too much of a chance, Riley,” says Mark, “but he’s managed to hold his own so far!”

“Are we watching the same match, Mark? He’s getting little bits and pieces here and there, yea, but Raynor’s been in control like… forever!”

“… uh… right…”

Raynor grabs the ropes and pulls himself up, and Ced-

-is already up! He’s a bit woozy, but he knows what he’s doing, and he hobbles over to Raynor-

-boot to the gut! Raynor grabs him and pulls him in-

“Setting up for the Acid Rayn!”

-but Ced knees him in the stomach! Raynor’s dazed, and a second knee makes his grip on Ced loosen! Ordonez pulls his knee back-

Raynor angrily shoves Ced away, thwarting another upstart, then as Ced charges again he fires his foot up and boots him in the gut a second time, then pulls him in! He hooks Ced’s arm around his shoulder, hooks the tights-

“Here it comes, Mark!”

-and without giving Ced time to counter, he lifts him and holds him upright, in a vertical suplex position! Before he can try to counter, Raynor lets go and locks his arms around Ced’s waist as he falls, and at the same time kneels down, power bombing Ced head-and-neck-first onto his knee! Ced folds up and flops off, twitches once, and goes still.

“And it looks like Raynor’s got this one wrapped up, folks- wait... What the hell is he doing?”

Raynor stands over Ced Ordonez, doing the opposite of pinning him… which is not pinning him. Instead he grabs Ced by the hair and drags him back up to his feet-

“Oh come on, once was enough, Raynor!”

“No it wasn’t! He’s sending a message to management!”

Raynor hooks Ordonez and lifts him up again, having a little trouble with Ced being quite out of it at the moment, but he gets him upright, drops him, Powerbomb on the knee!

“Two consecutive Acid Rayn’s! Just pin him, Raynor, he doesn’t deserve this!”

The referee too begins yelling at Raynor “Cover him! Cover him, damnit!”, but Raynor angrily shakes his head and grabs Ordonez by the arm, and drags him up to his feet again. He hooks Ced’s arm, his tights, puuuuuulls him upright, drop and WHAM! Powerbomb on the knee! Ced sort of rolls off and falls limp to the mat again, and finally-

“-finally, Raynor makes the cover… and an arrogant one at that!”

Raynor rolls Ced onto his back and just leans on top of him. The crowd boos like hell as the referee drops and counts.

ONE!

TWO!

T

H

R

E

!!

Raynor rolls off quickly and jumps to his feet, arms in the air, expecting a chee-

”BOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*DING DING DING*

“The winner of this bout… Chriiiiiis Rayyyynooooorrrr!”

“Well Chris Raynor wins it,” Mark begins, a hint of disgust in his voice, “but that display was wholly unnecessary!”

“He did what he had to do,” Riley counters. “He was shafted out of every chance he’s had so far, so he’s making people notice him now on his own.”

“I still think it’s sick.”

Raynor looks genuinely hurt as he looks out at the audience, then down at Ced, who’s blinking, but not doing much else. “The Grudge” begins pounding out of the sound system, but Raynor is still in the ring, now looking out at all sides of the audience. His look of disbelief turns to a snarl, and he violently kicks the ropes before climbing over them and heading out of the ring.

“Folks, we’ve got to take a commercial break, and get someone to help Ced to the back… coming up next, we’ve got Tod DeKindes against Danny Williams, non-title, but knowing these two they’ll put everything they’ve got into it anyway… more Storm, more action, NEXT!”

September 21, 2002

(SWF Storm returns with a view of a non-descript backstage area, as Annie Eclectic begins taping her wrists in preparation for her match.... Ben Hardy appears with microphone in hand)

Hardy: Annie Eclectic! You have a match tonight with your former partner in X Force Nine, Renegade. Last week on Storm, you put in an amazing show of strength against your former mentor, Longdoggah Pete. Tell me, is working against your former friends extra inspiration for you to go out and destroy those you use to love?

(Annie looks up at the interviewer, the gaze from her eyes burning holes inside of Hardy...)

Annie: First, you're assuming I had any feelings for them. Secondly, you apparently haven't been noticing my strength training. I feel that I've turned this little body into a lithe powerpacked weapon of destruction, one that's been held back WAY too long! And finally....

Hardy: Finally?

Annie: *grabbing Hardy's microphone hand* You want to let a lady speak? What kind of man are you? First you sneak up out of nowhere trying to talk to me... what, are you stalking me?

Hardy: *gulp* I just thought...

Annie: No you didn't! THIRDLY, never interrupt me, always ask before interviewing me, and don't just sneak up and try to be an Ace journalist. You'll never be one, you don't have your facts straight anyway. If you had researched a bit, you would have noticed that Renegade turned against -ME- once upon a JL time.... He took a chair... and SCRAMBLED MY BRAINS Hardy. I don't forget things like that... especially when it allowed my sister to kidnap me and... well, you know how that went.

Hardy: ...

Annie: Of course you do. So why don't you get the camera out of my face... and leave me alone, hmmm? Sound like a plan.

Hardy: I guess...

Annie: You guessed right! OUT!

Hardy: This is Ben Hardy, sending you back to the announcers booth.... ugh....

September 21, 2002

***Back at the American Airlines Arena, the Miami crowd is HOT in anticipation for tonight's show…then again, this IS Florida, and it may just be a glandular problem for these people…

…Anyway, we cut to the announce table with our Devilish Duo, dressed in their finest floral designed shirts.***

Stevens: We are BACK, and coming up next we got some non-title action!

Riley: Danny Williams wanted some attention around here, so tonight he get's the U.S champion Tod deKindes! He is so dead.

Stevens: Bobby, why do you always proclaim Tod dead before his matches?

Riley: Look who he's facing!! Danny Williams will tear off your hand and WIPE himself with it!!

Stevens: Can't he just do that with his OWN hand?!

***Uncomfortable silence…***

***As the Moments Ago graphic pops up in a corner of the screen, the camera cuts to backstage, where it spies Tod deKindes doing pull ups at the interview area. After doing a reasonable number, he drops back to the ground and sees a figure who'd been standing to his left all this time. It's Danny Williams.***

Tod: What do YOU want?

Danny: We're next.

Tod: I don't need you to remind me.

Danny: Be ready, Tod. Y'know, I don't even CARE if your U.S. title is on the line or not tonight. All I want is an opportunity to hurt someone. And tonight, you're the lucky victim. Plus, if I win … WHEN I win, then we'll worry about a title match.

Tod: I got other stuff than you to think about these days. Let's just do this.

Danny: Let's give 'em hell … (smirks, and then walks off)

***Back to present time, and to the ring where Funyon stands alongside new referee Billy Chioda.

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, SWF Storm continues with this non title contest. Introducing first …

***The gentle melody of In Flame's "The Jester's Dance" plays over the loud speakers, triggering some jeers from the crowd. Seeing no one come out yet, Funyon resumes his intro.***

Funyon: From Louisville, Kentucky; he weighs in at 238 lbs: "Deathwish" Dannyyyyy - Williaaaaaaaamssss!!

***After a good 30 or 40 seconds of waiting, Williams finally steps out nonchalantly, taking time to soak in the crowd's booing. Or is it boo-urns? Williams calmly walks down the ramp, letting the boos drip off of him but taking the time to stop and heckle a few ringside fans. He finally heads for the ring steps … but then makes a right and heads for the announce table. Fans seem to grow more impatient. He stops by the table to shake hands with Bobby Riley.***

Riley: Great to see you again, Danny! How's your grandma Noelle? You tell her I said Hi. Let's do lunch!!

Stevens: Geezus, will you get him in the ring already?!

***Williams takes another good 30 seconds to argue with Mark Stevens as to why he just said that, drawing more ire out of the fans. Referee Billy Chioda finally puts his foot down and orders Williams in the ring. He finally complies, taking his sweet time in doing so. He warms up in the ropes, adjusts his ankle brace and awaits in the corner for the opposition.***

Funyon: And his opponent…

***As "I Am Hated" by Slipknot fires up, the XF9 logo appears on the Smarktron as smoke and rave like strobelights take effect all over the arena.***

Funyon: From Muenchen, Germany; weighing in at 225 lbs. He is the reigning SWF United States Heavyweight champion ; Tod - deeeeeeee - Kin - deeeeeeeeesss!!

***Out walks Tod to the rhythm of his violent theme song. With trench coat flying in the air and belt proudly strapped to his body, he walks down the aisle; but not before stopping halfway down the ramp once and throwing an approving look at the Todheads. With a final dash, he slides under the bottom rope, throws a quick glance at Williams, only to unstrap the belt from himself, hop up to the second rope, raise up the belt and release a mighty battle cry to the Floridian Todheads. As the audiovisual effects return back to normal, Tod hands over his U.S. belt, all while removing his trench coat and silver shades. Williams uses that split second of Tod's distraction to his advantage, as he pounces from behind, starting off the assault with a series of forearms to the back of the head!***

Stevens: What a damn cheap shot! Come on, ref!!

***Bell rings, signalling the official start of the match. Danny starts off by pounding the still surprised Tod in the corner with forearms to the chest of the german one. Irish whip attempt by Williams is reversed by the champion as Williams ends up in the opposite corner. Tod charges with his head down, but Williams raises his legs and flips forward into a sunset flip! … But Tod isn't going down just yet … He winds up with a big right hand and KAPOWS Williams on the side of the head, halting his efforts for now. Tod kneels down for his OWN early pin attempt.***

*ONE!*

*TW--…

***No dice, as Williams immediately completes the 'Flip by rolling Tod into HIS pin attempt.***

*ONE!*

*TWO!*

***Tod shifts his weight backwards, rolling himself out of the hold, and then he grabs Williams' legs, threatening the Puro freak with an imminent attack to the unmentionnables. Under Williams' pleas for mercy and Billy Chioda's stern warnings; Tod simply opts to swat the legs aside and drop an elbow on the sternum of Williams. Another quick cover.***

*ONE!*

*TWO!*

***Kick out by Williams. Tod slows the pace back down by raising up Williams to his feet and grabbing on with a controlling headlock. Williams tries to shove Tod off to the ropes, but Tod has a handful of hair and holds on … and BACK to the headlock. Williams tries to fight out of the hold … and does, attempint a top wristlock takedown … only to have Tod muscle back into the headlock. He works the hold into a rear hammerlock, only to have Williams reverse THAT with ease. Tod counters with a quick leg trip into a leg scissors. He floats over and retakes control with a front facelock.***

Stevens: Great mat wrestling from both men in the early going.

Riley: Both?? As you can clearly see, Danny Williams is dictating a STRONG pace early in this bout by letting himself be rolled around like that!

Stevens: If by that you mean Danny Williams getting his head squeezed out right now, … then yeah!

***Williams skillfully rolls around the mat, and manages to reverse to a rear hammerlock of his own on Tod. Both men are back up, but Williams suddenly shoves Tod shoulder first into the turnbuckles! Tod staggers back, holding his shoulder but he doesn't have time to react as Williams quickly grabs him in a rear waist lock and then DRIVES him down with a bridged german suplex!***

*ONE!*

*TWO!*

***Tod throws his legs to one side, shifting his weight and moving himself out of this pinning predicament. Tod thinks "Enough of this mat wrestling B.S. and comes right back with a SOLID right hand to the jaw of Williams. Irish whip to the ropes by Tod, who follows it up with a fist to the gut, doubling over Williams. Tod throws himself into the ropes and then connects with a big time delayed swinging neckbreaker. He bounces off another set of ropes and comes crashing down on Williams' forehead with a big knee drop. Cover.***

*ONE!*

*TWO!*

***Kick out by Williams. The quicker one up to his feet, Tod flashes a three-fingered hand signal accompanied by a loud scream.***

Stevens: And now Tod, no doubt signaling for what we know as the Sara Sequence!

***Tod drags Williams up to his feet, grabbing him in the precursor hold to the vertical suplex.***

Riley: Speaking of which, oh dear colleague…

Stevens: What's that, Bobby?

Riley: We recently saw Annie Eclectic mention that she KNEW something which would make Tod VERY interested! And she spoke about a long lost love. Now if you put the 2 and 2 together … Could it be?

***Meanwhile, Tod successfully executes the snap suplex.***

Stevens: Well, we DO know that Tod deKindes has a past with a young lady named Sara, though we don't know much of the specifics.

Riley: You can't help but appreciate the tactics of Annie Eclectic. She wants some gold, Tod has some, and by God, she is gonna SCREW with his mind!

***Meanwhile, Tod successfully executes his face first front suplex.***

Stevens: Appreciate her tactics?! She turned her back on her friends! Well … at least, that's what she made all of us think.

Riley: THANK YOU! My point is made.

***Meanwhile; Tod, still holding onto the suplex hold, muscles up Williams for a third time … and drops Williams stomach first over the top rope. But Williams' has already recovered and is back on his feet on the apron. In that split second, he grabs Tod's head, drops off the apron, snapping the german one's head off the top rope. He slides back into the ring, just in time to catch the staggering Tod with a vicious elbow to the jaw! With Tod now down, Williams drops a few more elbows onto him for good measure. Solid kick to the shoulder reinforces that point. Williams shakes off the ankle for a second and then raises Tod back up to his feet. Irish whip to the ropes by Williams. Tod ducks two oncoming attacks, namely the popular clothesline and back elbow. On the third bounce, Williams ducks down for an attempt at a back bodydrop but Tod stops short and SMACKS Williams in the face with a solid kick. Irish whip of his own by Tod, reversed by Williams; but Tod switches back into his own whip, sending Williams in the ropes for good. Tod puts his head down for his OWN back drop attempt but Williams sees THAT coming and counters with a standing headscissor on Tod…***

Stevens: Williams is going for the Deathbomb right away!!

Riley: YES!!

***Williams hammers a forearm shot or two to the back of Tod, and then PLANTS him with a vicious piledriver!!***

Riley: That's just as good!!

Stevens: The cover!!

*ONE!*

*TWO!*

*TH-- …

***Kick out by Tod.***

Stevens: No!!

Riley: Aww, COME ON, ref!!

***Williams quickly grabs Tod's arm and then grapevines it into some sort of odd arm bar / rear chinlock combo. Billy Chioda is quickly in to check the hold's legality and then to ask a submission out of Tod, only to be denied on the latter…***

Stevens: Even though Annie Eclectic has a match later on tonight, you can't help but think that she's watching this match very carefully. One's gotta wonder though, is she just after the U.S. title, or is she after Tod deKindes himself? Or both?

Riley: Did you NOT hear me just a few minutes ago, Pea Brain?! Annie wants MORE than taking Tod's belt! She wants his pride! She wants his guts!! She wants to YANK off Tod's nuts and then SHOVE them down her throa-- …

Stevens: Hey now!

Riley: Never mind.

Stevens: Well, while our director is screaming his lungs out at Bobby Riley in his headset, Danny Williams is wrenching in that submission hold!

***Williams suddenly and simply releases the hold and then drops another nasty elbow on the point of Tod's forehead. He pulls up Tod by the hair and casually Irish whips him in the ropes. Another back body drop is attempted by Williams but Tod counters with a Van Dam-esque roll and yet another rear waist lock. Williams reverses it with ease and DRIVES Tod right on the back of his head with a VICIOUS release german suplex! Crowd groans, as Danny realizes he might've dropped him a little harder than expected, and then he crawls over towards Tod for the cover.***

*ONE!*

*TWO!*

*THRE-- …

***Kick out at the last second by Tod. None too flustered for now, Williams brings the german grappler back up to his feet … and casually drops him with ANOTHER deadly german suplex! The cover, as Billy Chioda does a slow but steady count.***

*ONE!*

*TWO!*

*THRR--

Riley: Yes!!

*EE …

Stevens: NO!!

***Tod with another miraculous kick out!!***

Riley: What the hell is this?!

Stevens: After TWO devastating german suplexes, Tod deKindes STILL finds the power to kick out!!

***Williams wants to dispute that near fall to Chioda but he quickly changes gears and hooks in a front face lock, further working on what is most likely now weakened neck.***

Stevens: Tod looks to be OUT!

Riley: Check him, ref!!

***After a few minutes of checking the hold, Billy Chioda raises Tod's arm, getting ready for the drop test … but it immediately stays up!***

Stevens: I spoke too soon, Tod is STILL in this thing!!

***As the Todheads cheer him on, Tod gradually fights his way up to his feet and then starts hammering Williams with forearm shots to the midsection. He reverses out of the face lock and pulls Williams into an Irish whip to the ropes! Holding his neck, Tod attempts a weak clothesline, which is ducked under by Williams; as he comes roaring back with a solid knee lift to the gut. Back to the standing headscissor for Danny as he attempts the Deathbomb one more time.***

Riley: NOW he's got him!

***Williams lifts up Tod for the powerbomb, but Tod quickly wiggles his legs free and slips out of the hold, landing behind his opponent! Tod almost immediately throws himself in the ropes. Just in time, as Williams turns around, only to eat a big time spear, taking him down to the mat. Tod punctuates that little resurgence with a series of rapid fire right hands to the side of the head. Tod bounces to his feet and climbs up to the second rope. From there, he drops a big time diving elbow drop right onto Danny's forehead! The cover.***

*ONE!*

*TWO!*

*THR-- …

***Kick out by Williams. Both men up, as they trade right hands with one another. Irish whip exchange leads to a reversal by Williams, which is then followed by Tod's own reversal switch. With Williams' arm hooked, Tod pulls him into a big time knee lift to the gut, doubling the puro freak over. He runs Williams' arm between his own legs … (minds out of the gutter) ***

Stevens: It looks as if Tod deKindes is going for that Spirit Breaker of his!!

Riley: If he hits this, then … Danny Williams will NOT feel good at ALL!!

***Tod lifts up Williams onto his shoulder … but Williams isn't having none of that. He wiggles free into a safe position, hooking Tod's head and then DRIVING it with a massive reverse DDT out of nowhere! Danny hooks the leg once again for the pin attempt.***

*ONE!*

*TWO!*

*THR-- …

Stevens: No!! Not quite yet!!

Riley: Does this new referee know how to COUNT??!

***Williams shows rare emotion with a single pound of the mat in anger, disputing the count once again to the referee. A quick swipe of the thumb across his throat signals to the crowd that he's just about ready to finish off the champ for good. He picks up the german one by the hair, putting him in the standing headscissor for a third time.***

Stevens: Danny Williams is going for his Deathbomb AGAIN, Bobby!

Riley: Third time's the charm, Ground Hog!

***Danny attempts to lift up Tod one more time, but the german feet are NOT leaving the mat. Tod flexes some muscle and backdrops Williams WAY up and over his head, freeing himself once again from certain doom!***

Stevens: And Tod countered the Deathbomb again!!

Riley: Regroup, Danny! Regroup!! Time for a new game plan!!

***Williams tries to regroup in a corner but Tod charges right into him with a corner clothesline! He grabs his arm and sends Williams using an Irish whip all the way to the opposite corner with authority. Tod charges right after him, and connects with a vicious corner spear! Williams staggers out, holding his rib cage; but Tod is right on him as he underhooks both of his arms and sends him flying HIGH overhead with his patented release belly to belly suplex! Williams quickly staggers up … only to be caught right away in a fireman's carry position by Tod! This doesn't seem good for Danny… ***

Stevens: Death Valley Driver!!

Riley: (cringing) That's gonna leave a mark …

***Tod points to the skies, as his horde of Todheads begin to rally behind him. He goes to the apron, no doubt with images of 'Swanton bomb' dancing in his twisted mind. Instead of the usual slow climb up the ropes, Tod changes it up a little, as he springboards up to the top rope with all the agility of a cruiserweight and then flies off with a flawless swanton, landing HARD on Williams! Cover. ***

*ONE!*

*TWO!*

*THRE-- …

Riley: NOOO!!!!

Stevens: That one was SO close!! Two and a half!!

***Tod has finally HAD it! He does the reverse Guns To The Head motion, signalling that he's GONNA put on the Spirit Breaker this time! He appropriates him in the pumphandle position one more time … lifts him up … but Williams wiggles free AGAIN!! And with a hard shove, Tod hits the turnbuckles hard chest first. Williams spins Tod around, kick to the gut, he hooks on a front face lock and throws his arm up over his head.***

Riley: And now Danny Williams is going for his Dangerous Brainbuster!! This should be IT!!

Stevens: After several tries, NEITHER of these men have been able to connect with their big moves on one another thus far!

***Williams goes for the Brainbuster, but Tod blocks and buries a SOLID knee to the gut of Tod, freeing himself from major pinnage yet one more time. He twists Williams around, maneuvering him in the pumphandle position and again, then FINALLY drives Williams' head down hard to the mat with the Spirit Breaker!***

Riley: NOO !!!

Stevens: And THERE's that elusive Spirit Breaker !!

Riley: Kick out, Danny, kick out!!

Stevens: The cover!!

***Tod grabs both of Williams' legs and pulls back with all his might.***

*ONE!*

.

*TWO!*

.

*THREE!!*

***Bell rings, as the crowd roars with cheering approval. While the champion's heavy music fires up, ring announcer Funyon makes the official announcement.***

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner: Tod - deeeeeee - Kin - deeeeeeeeesssssss !!

***As Billy Chioda raises Tod's hand in victory, Tod rolls outside to collect his U.S. title belt, as Chioda then goes on to check Williams, informing him of his unfortunate loss.***

Stevens: When Danny Williams wakes up, he's gonna realize that he's just been beaten by the United States champion!!

Riley: IF he wakes up!! Did you see how Tod slammed him down?? His neck must be injured now!! Surely this isn't legal!!!

Stevens: Don't call me Shirley.

***As Tod walks around the ring side area, belt in hand, letting the fans offer a few congralutory slaps on the back; he unleashes a final victory roar to the Todheads, before finally retreating to his dressing room.***

Stevens: A big win for Tod deKindes, but coming up next …

***Cut to a shot of backstage, as Renegade comes out of the XF9 dressing room and is now WALKING~!, and pumping himself up for his upcoming match.***

Stevens: Renegade and Annie are NEXT!! Stay with us.

***Fade to commercials.***

September 21, 2002

Storm returns from a commercial for Andrea Montgomery's Soup Kitchen ("Getcher Superior Vat-o'-Boilermakers here! If you find a gopher in your soup and you didn't try to sex me, you get half off your next bowl!") and pans the arena. Suddenly....

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... A Few Minutes With Tom Flesher!"

The lights go down, and immediately the fans start to boo. As the familiar columns of blue fireworks spray out next to the entrance, Flesher's entrance video starts. Blue monochrome stills of the Boilermaker, the Burning Hammer, the Superior Stretch and the Ego Trip cycle through, cut with the text phrases "SUPERIORITY COMPLEX," "MAIN ATTRACTION," "BOW DOWN TO GLORY" and "SUPERIOR STYLE." With an explosion, the stage is bathed in bright blue light, and when the smoke clears, Tom Flesher is standing in front of the curtain holding his chin. With the Light Heavyweight Title strapped securely around his waist, he begins to stride confidently to the ring.

"Isn't this great, Mark?" Bobby Riley asks happily. "This is my favorite part of Storm!"

"Whatever, Bobby." Stevens clearly has little patience for this. "It doesn't matter what Flesher says now. It'll all be useless when he steps into the ring against Z. He's not the leader of the Midnight Carnival for nothing, you know."

"Oh, don't fucking flatter yourself, Grand Amplitude."

"Grand Amplitude?"

"Yeah, Flesher loaned me a couple of his Greco-Roman tapes. Apparently, in between all the spandex, the object is actually to throw the other guy over your head in what's known as a grand amplitude throw, like a German or Railgun suplex."

Stevens rolls his eyes. "Who would have thunk it, eh Bobby?"

"I know!"

Flesher climbs up the steps, enters the ring and takes a microphone. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It's good to be here in Miami, but more importantly, it's good to have my Light Heavyweight Championship wrapped around my waist. See, that's something I'm not sure you people understand. What Tod deKindes took from me may have been my first SWF gold. Maybe I controlled that belt for over three months, with only ten days of someone else wearing my title... not that I mind TNT and Raynor getting tastes of the gold, especially now that Raynor saw the light. But people, you've got to understand that at some point being the champion of the United States just doesn't do it for you anymore. I'd wake up every morning and look in the mirror. I'd sip my coffee, shape my sideburns, and look myself in the eye, knowing that I was the champion of all the United States, and the top light heavyweight in the world. At some point, though, it just gets to be a ball and chain strapped around my ankle."

"What a self-serving bowl of sour grapes!" says Stevens.

"Nah, Flesher's not into grapes. He's more a cherry kind of guy."

"So Tod deKindes... you know what? You go ahead and keep that US Title. You don't realize it now, but that low blow, that weak-ass equalizer that you needed to beat me was the biggest favour you ever did me. The US Title is mine forever, Tod, because I'm the one that gave it the shine that it has on it now... but it's time for it to elevate someone else." Flesher pauses. "And someday, someone who's light years ahead of you will come, beat the living shit out of you and get elevated while you flounder in the lower half of the card, jerking the curtain for all the nice people here." The fans react just as Flesher expected them too, booing him loudly, and he responds by simply grinning and waiting for it to die down. He hears the stock "YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK!" chant break out, and decides it's time to drown them out.

"You see, Miami, I'm the top light heavyweight in the WORLD. When I beat your precious World Champion, El Luchadore Magnifico, I made my impact. I engraved my name in the history books. You know why?"

"Oooh! Oooh! I know, Mark, I know!"

"Shut up, Bobby."

"It's because I not only beat him... I made him tap. TWICE. And then, for over a month after that, everyone was too damn afraid to try to take the belt away from me. Everyone except the Hardcore Queen herself, Miss Annie Eclectic." At the mention of Annie, the crowd bursts into a chorus of boos. "You know, I knew there was something I liked about Annie. Maybe it's the way I broke her face and she just came back for more. Maybe it's the way she kicked out of the Boilermaker. Then again, maybe it's the way she cracked Tod deKindes over the head with that Kendo stick. No matter which was you look at it, she's one tough bitch. Annie, I tip my hat to you."

"I TOLD you it was a setup!"

"Oh, come on, Mark. He's just showing her some respect for what she did. He's representing tha heels in tha hizzo."

"..."

"You betta recognize!"

"What?"

Riley sighs dejectedly. "I don't know either."

"And so, after I singlehandedly raise the US Title from that latrine that Jay Dawg buried it in, make Magnifico tap and put the Hardcore Queen down, who do they feed me? WHO? ALEX FUCKING ZENON." The fans, as if on cue, start chanting "CAR-NI-VAL! CAR-NI-VAL!" "God," sighs Flesher, "it's like the matchmakers weren't even WATCHING last week when I told the world how much better I am than Z. So let's recap, folks. Tom Flesher HERE..." Flesher holds one hand up as high as he can. "Z HERE." Flesher grabs his crotch with the other hand. "Do we have any questions?"

"Looked pretty clear to me," says Bobby Riley.

"What a total lack of respect! I'm outraged, and I'm sure Z is as well!"

"Sure, Stubbs. If you really want me to defend against Mr. Zenon, I'll be happy to show you once again that I'm the Superior One. Hell, I'll even make that little fucker tap to the Superior Stretch. It's not like he wouldn't tap to, say, a side headlock or something anyway, but we've got to do things in style, now, don't we?"

Flesher cracks his neck quickly. "And why do we do things in style, folks? I'll tell you. It's because you're here to see the Main Attraction, the Superior One, Tom Flesher. And people, I want you to get your money's worth... because I love you as much as you love me. Maybe... even... more."

With that, "I Am The Man" begins to play, and with a quick bow, Flesher exits the ring as the show fades out to a commercial.

September 21, 2002

The Sold out arena is…well sold out! And being a wrestling event, there’s all manner of merchandise – every single wrestler on the roster here (yes, even the jobbers) has a stall flogging T-shirts, foam fingers and all sorts of other tat which is considered memorabilia. The camera is brought back onto the air as we go live to SWF storm.

“Hello and welcome back to SWF Storm, “Grandslam” Mark Stevens here sitting ringside with Bobby Riley.”

“Light heavy weight title on the line, and the ever so exiting, every so titillating and ever so beastly Miami Mayhem match right here tonight!” Riley adds.

The arena lights are abruptly dimmed to a pale black void as a carmine spotlight locates itself at the pinnacle of the rampway. “Angry Johnny” by Poe is employed through the speakers, signalling the entrance of Annie Eclectic. The crowd has already risen, rinsing their guts clean with jeer after jeer as Annie makes her way onto the ramp, nonchalantly promenading down the ramp as she carries her Singapore cane by her side.

“The following match is of no disqualification and is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Indianapolis Indiana, weighing in at 175lbs and representing the Magnificent Seven…ANNNNIE ECLLLECTIIIC!”

Annie responds to the crowds’ bitter reaction with persecuting kisses, blowing them all around the arena as she slowly slides into the ring. Annie twirls the cane around in her hand, itching for action as she denotes her chest with her thumb…she means business!

“Annie Eclectic looking for a win tonight as she takes on her former stablemate Renegade.” Stevens says.

“And the best part is, it’s no DQ, Annie swings that cane, it’s legal!” Riley says in glee. “And ripping Renegade to pieces will send out a strong message to Tod deKindes, and that’s nobody messes with the Magnificent seven.”

“Get To The Gone” roars out of the speakers, as Renegade emerges from the shadows of backstage. Renegade lifts his head up high, alongside his arms in a self high-five.

“And her opponent, from New York City, weighing in at 260lbs and representing X-Force-Nine…RRRENNEGAAADE!”

Renegade continues to pace down the ramp as Annie juggles the cane between her hands, impatiently playing with it as Renegade finally violates the ring. The ref can see both competitors are in the ring and calls for the bell:

DING!DING!DING!

Renegade and Annie square up to each other, moving nose to nose. Renegade and Annie start to exchange their play on words in the form of trash talk, as the continuous inaudible profanities which can be only be lip read on camera, engender a full-out fistfight. Renegade throws a stiff right at Annie, causing her to drop her cane onto the mat from the jolt and surprise of the right hand. Annie returns the right hand with a jab as the entire arena is consumed with canned excitement.

“And the match starts off with a fistfight. Both Renegade and Annie’s brawling ability comes into play early on in the match.” Stevens says.

“Just pick the cane back up and crack him with it Annie!” Riley solaces.

Renegade manages to get the advantage as he bombards Annie’s temple with an influx of closed fists. Annie finally succumbs to the plethora of punches by Renegade, tottering back from the impact. Renegade clutches Annie’s arm and whips her across, sending Annie sprinting back and BAM! With unhinged energy Renegade dispatches his anger with a clothesline. Not completely shaken but visibly dismayed, Annie frantically scrambles back onto her feet. As Annie returns to her feet, Renegade ferrets towards Annie and clamps both of his hands around Annie’s ears. Renegade rotates in right angle as he falls down and lands a spinning neckbreaker, creating an undue strain on Annie’s neck.

“Renegade just exploding on Annie with a clothesline followed by a spinning neckbreaker!” Stevens says.

“I’m sure the surprise element had something to do with it, free chances like that won’t be happening to Renegade very often.”

Renegade hooks up the leg:

ONE!

TW- Kickout!

Renegade contiguously reaches out for Annie’s hair and hauls her back up to her feet with minimum effort. Before Annie can even formulate an escape plan Renegade clutches Annie by the throat with his hand. Renegade tenses his hand and with one mighty heave, Renegade hauls Annie off the mat and flings her across the ring, unceremoniously dumping her by the corner with a choke toss. Renegade inclines and stabs at Annie’s gut with his shoulder, using it to wear Annie down by grinding away at her stomach and gut. After a few barbarous shoulder thrusts, Renegade stops and charges back, then suddenly charges with a final hard shoulder thrust. Annie dodges at the last second, causing Renegade to oppressively jar his shoulder into the post.

“Renegade wasting precious time and missing that final shoulder thrust, hurting himself in the process.” Stevens pronounces.

“All in Annie’s strategy Stevens, Annie waits for the exact right before Renegade charges in and ducks, sending Renegade to hurtsvile.” Riley responds.

Renegade reels back from the collision as Annie moves in. Annie comes up behind Renegade and latches onto his hair before jumping forward. Renegade’s face crashes into the canvas with a bulldog as Annie pins Renegade’s shoulders down:

ONE!

TWO!

Renegade kicks out!

With a continuous stream of cacophony, Annie plugs her boot into Renegade’s ribs, trampling him with scathing stomps. Annie picks Renegade up from the mat and buries her knee into Renegade’s ribs, causing Renegade to buckle over. Annie uncurls her fingers and slashes across his chest with a knife-edge. Renegade grimaces as Annie repeats the process, shredding away like the hungry teeth of an electric saw as Annie whips Renegade to the ropes. Renegade bounces back as Annie pounces forward, erecting her arm. Annie catches Renegade on the head with great vigor and downright heaviness, sending him down in a flying forearm.

“Annie back in the driving seat with a flying forearm to Renegade’s skull, sending him to the mat.” Stevens comments.

“Annie slowly, painfully decimating her opponent, and I love it!” Riley sniggers.

A huge smile is plastered across Annie’s face as she lifts Renegade up and applies a headlock. With a very hard tug, Annie conjures up the strength to flip Renegade on his back with a suplex. Annie rolls over onto Renegade’s stomach, pinning him down:

ONE!

TWO!

T- Renegade brings the shoulder up!

Annie drags Renegade in the center of the ring and tugs on Renegade’s arm, pulling it outwards away from Renegade’s chest. Annie plants her kneecap right into Renegade’s exposed ribs. Renegade grits his teeth with every knee strike as Annie digs into Renegade’s ribcage again and again. Annie raises Renegade up by the hair and clutches him by the arm. Annie whips Renegade, but he reverses it into a whip of his own. Renegade lies in waiting, ready to score on the rebound as Annie suddenly fires her fist out, stabbing it into Renegade’s ribs, nullifying any possible counter by Renegade. Renegade instantaneously buckles over from the impact as Annie skims her hand through Renegade’s knotting hair and runs to the corner of the ring. Annie fluctuates her arm, tossing Renegade through the bottom rope to the outside.

“Notice how Annie has constantly targeted the midsection of Renegade. The chops, the suplex, the repetition of knee strikes. They all target the ribs, and as you saw, with one shot to those ribs, Renegade is prone to attack.” Riley remarks.

“What about the bulldog and the forearms?” Stevens questions.

“You know Stevens, you really spoil all my moments of glory.” Riley mutters.

Annie slides to the outside and picks Renegade up from the floor and with casual callousness Annie whips Renegade heavily into the security barricades. Renegade connects into the railing front first, sending shivers of torque tingling in his ribs. Renegade crumples onto his front, shielding his ribs with his arm as he pants heavily. Still hell bent on destruction, Annie moves towards the camera cables than run across the arena floor and scoops them up in her hands. Annie advances towards a slowly rising Renegade and hoops them over his head. The cables slither down Renegade’s head as Annie wraps them around Renegade’s windpipe.

“As much as I hate to say this, but what Annie is doing is completely legal due to the no disqualification stipulation.” Stevens says.

“See how Annie uses the surroundings to her advantage, she can even turn the camera cables into a weapon used to choke Renegade out!” Riley says proudly.

Annie pulls the cables as far down as she can to suffocate her opponent. Annie finally releases the cables from Renegade’s neck, causing Renegade to fall down beneath the crowds’ feet by the guard rail, almost choked out by the strain of the cables around his neck. Annie is nowhere near done, as she folds the cables over and…

SMACK!

Annie drives the cables down over Renegade’s bare back, creating the most putrid yet appeasing clamor as Annie nihilistically slashes the cables back down onto Renegade’s back.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

“Don’t you just love that sound Stevens?”

“…I can’t say that I do Riley, we aren’t all sadists.”

Renegade quivers from the impact, his back visibly scarlet from the sharp, scalding pain of the cables.

Annie heaves Renegade up and wraps an arm around Renegade’s shoulder and pulls back in what looks like to be an intended legsweep. Renegade pushes forward to prevent falling back, but Annie’s pull was a bluff! Annie diverts her force forwards to push Renegade forward, but there is no space for Renegade to fall onto as his upper torso crunches over the security railings. The crowd cringes and boos as the fan favorite of the match is getting it in a bad way!

“Annie seemingly first going for a normal Russian leg sweep, but pushes forwards. And there was no floor ahead of Renegade for him to fall upon, as his upper body is impaled onto the guard rail on the outside.” Stevens says.

Annie leaves Renegade’s body rested over the guardrail as she slides into ring. Annie fashions a wicked grin and walks down to the opposite ropes, lurching down to keep a good few of Renegade through the ropes. Renegade tardily and agonizingly rises to a proper vertical base as Annie paces down the ring, flying out of the ring like a torpedo over the top rope, but Renegade manages to catch the airborne Annie, cradling her up his arms. In a seismic shift Renegade hurls Annie behind him, causing Annie to soar over the railings and into the crowd with a fallaway slam.

“Oh my…Renegade just flung Annie into the crowd with that Fallaway slam counter!” Says a shocked Stevens.

“Only a minor bruise for the hardcore queen!” Riley replies optimistically.

Renegade slumps to the floor, using his time to shake off the cobwebs as he gradually climbs back over the railings towards Annie. Renegade clutches Annie by the head and maliciously throws her back onto the floor. Renegade makes his way across the announcing tables and selects a vacated chair; folding it and casting it back into the squared circle. Renegade makes his way back towards Annie and seizes her by the hair and roughly hurls Annie’s face into the ring apron to, stunning her momentarily before flinging her under the ropes and into the ring. Renegade picks up the chair and advances towards Annie with pure fire and ire.

“How cowardly is this? A man uses a steel chair on his hapless opponent? This just makes me sick!” Riley says narrow-mindedly.

Renegade raises the chair over his head, ready to strike with lethal precision as Annie tries to crawl away, her hands frenetically patting the canvas in search of anything to defend herself with. Renegade’s mad glaze transforms into a face filled with discomfort as Annie manages to find the Singapore cane left in the ring just in time. Annie staunchly drives the stick up Renegade’s legs and into his crotch. Renegade drops the chair and falls to his knees, almost on the verge of vomiting as Annie rises. CRACK! Annie cracks Renegade across the back of the head with the tip of the cane, fully flooring him.

“If you called that cowardly Riley, then what on earth would you call such a blatant low blow?” Stevens asks.

“…Tactical of course!” Riley answers.

Annie rolls Renegade onto his stomach as she gets back up to her feet. Annie drops down onto Renegade’s ribs, using the cane as an extended elbow to inflict more pain. Annie covers Renegade in a pin:

ONE!

TWO!

TH- Renegade kicks out!

Annie hauls Renegade on his feet as Annie fires a balled fist to his face, but Renegade slaps it away and delivers a punch of his own! Renegade is starting to get back in the game as he’s outdoing Annie in the fist fight, lobbing punches with his right arm, holding his injured ribs with the other. The crowd begins to lend their support once again as Renegade finally whips Annie to the ropes, but Annie reverses. Renegade bounces off the ropes as Annie sticks her knee out and coils an arm under Renegade’s shoulder to come from behind Renegade, wrenching the shoulder and upper body backwards as she places her hand on Renegade’s side with her other arm, locking in the abdominal stretch.

“One of the oldest submission moves there is, but Annie’s using the abdominal stretch to his full advantage.” Evaluates Stevens.

“And this is where the work on the ribs pays off!” Riley cackles.

Annie has got Renegade’s body opened, pounding heavily onto his side with the free arm before leaning back as far as she can. The ref marches to Renegade, asking him whether he’ll say uncle, but Renegade is screaming “NO!” even though he needs to somehow break up the hold. Annie begins to use the free arm to hold the ropes and tugs upwards, putting Renegade’s body structure to its limits. Renegade is slowly, very slowly pivoting his front away form Annie and finally winds up with his back towards her. With all his remaining strength Renegade hauls Annie over from behind him in a huge hip toss. Annie tries to get herself upright and THUD! The back of Annie’s head hits the canvas hard as Renegade darts out with both arms open, bulldozing her down in a spear.

“SPEAR! Renegade reverses the abdominal stretch into hiptoss, and ploughs straight through her with a huge spear!”

Renegade lays one arm across Annie’s chest, creating a weak pin as the ref goes for the count:

ONE!

TWO!

THR- Annie kicks out!

Renegade excruciatingly pulls himself back up; bringing the chair back with him as Annie slowly drags herself back up and SMACK! Annie tries to bring her arms up to block it, but it’s too late. Almost snapping Annie’s head clean off, Renegade waffles Annie right between the eyes with a sound so sickeningly fierce shudders echo all through the arena.

“Renegade comes back with a huge chairshot, sending Annie down and out on the mat!”

“Why is the crowd cheering? The man assaulted the woman viscously with a steel chair to the face!”

The arena is consumed with a fresh invigorating pulse of excitement as the chair shot has given Renegade enough time to recover. Renegade grabs Annie by the hair and pulls her towards the ropes, flinging her head over middle rope. Renegade paces back a few steps and picks up the chair previously used; unfolding it again and placing it centre ring. Renegade backs his way to the ropes opposite Annie and sprints down the mat. Renegade makes a small leap onto the chair to gain altitude and produces an immense leap, landing on Annie’s back, crushing her windpipe on the middle rope as Annie’s face goes blue from oxygen dept.

“Suffocation! Renegade uses the chair as a platform to spryly leap onto Annie’s back.” Stevens says.

Renegade leans under the tope rope to the apron. Renegade paces down the ledge and falls to his knees in Annie’s direction and drives his elbow right into the back of Annie’s neck. Annie’s body twitches in response to the blow as Renegade paces back to his original position, only to come back and drop to his knee. Renegade’s knee crunches into the back of Annie’s neck, pressing her neck into the middle rope. Renegade slides back into the ring and pulls Annie’s body away from the ropes, hooking the leg up in a cover:

ONE!

TWO!

TH- Kickout!

“Renegade has gone berserk! Attacking Annie from the apron, as each hit is doing nothing but pressuring Annie’s neck over the rope.” Says an astonished Stevens.

“Even though Renegade is clearly in control, but see how the hardcore queen manages to kick through the pain barrier, as far I know she probably likes the pain.”

Renegade lifts the half-choked Annie from the mat and with quasar-like energy Renegade cudgels Annie in the temple with a pipe-heavy right hand. Annie’s face is nothing but fist fodder right now as Renegade effortlessly fuses punch after punch. After a fierce firestorm of right hands, Renegade whips Annie across, but Annie reverses. Renegade’s body frame sinks into the ropes as Annie pitches her body forward feet first in hope to catch Renegade with a poignant dropkick, but Annie falls flat on her back as Renegade slings his arm over the ropes, killing his momentum.

“Annie going for the “Dropkiss”, a high elevated dropkick aimed directly at the mouth, but Renegade anchors himself onto the ropes, leaving Annie to kick nothing but air.” Stevens says.

Renegade puts his left leg between Annie’s and joins her legs together by the anklebones. Renegade folds them over each other as Renegade tries to turn Annie over.

“Renegade trying his luck to go for the Rage, his modified sharpshooter, but can he get it?”

One of Annie’s legs manages to slip free, and with all her might, Annie shoves Renegade in the face with her boot. Renegade is pushed towards the ropes and is sent bouncing back. Annie yanks Renegade’s hair and pulls him down in a surprise rollup:

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- Kickout!

Both competitors scramble to their feet, as Renegade is the first to go for an attack, lashing out with another blast-welding right hand. Annie latches onto Renegade’s arm, reversing the punch into an armwrench. Annie twists Renegade’s wrist inwards around its socket and flogs her leg out towards her opponent’s ribs. Renegade is floored down with a kick to the ribs as Annie stoops down to the mat and reaches out for her cane. Annie lingers, allowing Renegade to rise before goring at Renegade’s ribs with the tip of the cane. Renegade buckles over as Annie exquisitely twirls the cane in her hands and CRACK! Annie brings the cane into Renegade’s skull, rattling it seamlessly against Renegade’s head. Renegade breaks down on his back, as Annie follows with a cover up:

“Renegade has taken another viscous cane shot to the head, this can’t last much longer.” Stevens says fearfully.

“There you have it, cane to the head, goodbye Renegade!” Riley says.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- NO! With a sudden spurt of energy, Renegade JUST manages to raise the shoulder up from the mat!

An irritated Annie raises to her feet, goring the cane into Renegade’s ribs again and again. Annie takes a trip to the ropes, increasing velocity and flips onto her back, landing directly on Renegade’s ribs with a senton. Annie remains seated on Renegade as she hooks the leg up:

ONE!

TWO!

THR- Renegade brings up a shoulder!

Frustrated to no end, Annie directs herself to the ropes, mounting the turnbuckles till she ascends the top rope. Renegade barely pulls himself up to his feet as Annie reinstates herself on the turnbuckle before hurdling off, soaring towards Renegade with impeccable speed. Annie coils an arm around Renegade’s head as she plummets, gunning for a tornado DDT but Renegade manages to subjugate Annie by clutching her by the legs. Renegade jerks onto Annie’s legs, whipping her down as hard as he can through the canvas in a weighty sidewalk slam/spinebuster.

“Spinebuster! Renegade catches Annie by the waist and shrewdly pulls her down with that high angled spinebuster!” Stevens shouts.

“If Renegade needs to take advantage of a situation, it’s now. Because if he doesn’t, Annie will target and physically dismember Renegade to the point where he is unable to compete.”

Renegade slowly, wearily pulls himself onto his feet as he reaches out for Annie’s head. Renegade snuggly applies a headlock on Annie as he makes a sharp tug on her attire. Annie goes spine first into the canvas with a snap suplex. Annie holds her back in sheer anguish as Renegade picks her back up, the headlock still rigidly in place. Renegade drags her along to the corner, with Renegade’s back towards the turnbuckles. Renegade makes another grabs for Annie’s attire and “OOOHHHH!” The crowd watch in an unpalatable sight as with a jerk, Renegade performs a snap suplex right into the turnbuckles! Renegade lays down on the mat, exhausted and weary as at the same time Annie lands on the mat headfirst, writhing in agony.

“RENEGADE JUST SNAPPED ANNIE OVER IN THE CORNER WITH A SUPLEX!” Stevens bellows.

“Annie landed back first into the turnbuckles, and head first into the mat, not really a winning combination.”

Renegade manages to produce just enough energy to roll onto Annie’s upper body and cover her:

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- NO! Annie somehow summons the strength to kick out! Leaving the crowd in a state of shock.

Renegade progressively picks himself up, waiting for Annie to initiate movement again. After a lengthy time period Annie rises up to her knees, as Renegade goes in for the attack. Annie waits for Renegade to advance on her and out of nowhere, Annie suddenly stabs at Renegade’s ribs with the infamous Singapore cane, which she picked up as she rose to her knees. Renegade contiguously buckles over and Annie shoves Renegade in-between her thighs, wrenching his arms up to the sheer abhorrence of the sold-out crowd.

“DAYBREAK! If Annie gets this it’s all over!” Stevens hollers.

“Every shot to Renegade’s ribs automatically stuns him, allowing Annie to punish him with the Daybreak, it’s all over now!” Riley replies.

Annie is ready to jump back, but Renegade isn’t budging! They both struggle for position, rocking back and forth as Renegade unexpectedly manages to wriggle his hands free of Annie’s grasp. Renegade pulls on the back of Annie’s kneecaps, tripping Annie onto her back. Renegade brings himself up and leans over to his downed opponent and grabs both of her legs by the shins. Renegade hurls himself onto his back, catapulting Annie face-first into the neighboring top turnbuckle by the corner in a slingshot suplex. Annie’s head bounces right off the top turnbuckle pad, stammering back from the impact. In one final sporadic speed burst, Renegade paces to the ropes behind a perplexed Annie and bounces back, bolting forwards. Renegade brings his arms around the back of Annie’s head, clipping the ¾ facelock in before he falls. Annie snaps down in a neckbreaker as Renegade rolls Annie onto her back and hooks the leg up:

“RENEBREAK! THIS COULD BE IT!” Stevens calls for the finisher.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DING! DING! DING!

“Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner…RENNNEGAAADE!”

“Get To The Gone” blares over again as the ref waits for Renegade to rise from the mat, raising his hand in victory. Renegade rolls to the outside, embracing his chest with both hands, cringing with each passing step as Annie is still out on the mat.

“After a brutal match, Renegade picks up the win tonight!” Stevens says.

“Yes and remember kids, don’t try this at home…actually do try it at home, but if anyone asks, say you picked it up from “Jackass”.”

“Sound words Riley, we’ll be right back folks.”

(Fade to commercial)

September 21, 2002

SWF Storm returns from a Kraft Dinner commercial featuring Ced Ordonez ("I've got the blues, and the mac and cheese isn't bad either") and pans the arena. Lucky fans are shown holding signs such as "I'm With Riley," "I'm Here To See Alex Zenon" and "Flesher Fears The Stunner." With that, the Light Heavyweight Title graphic appears on the SmarkTron below photos of Flesher on the left and Z on the right. The words "LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: TOM VS. Z" scroll across the bottom of the screen as the fans cheer.

Finally, they zoom in on the announce table, where Bobby Riley sits next to a Mr. Coffee coffeemaker. "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens looks over at his announcing partner and opens his mouth to ask a question, but Riley cuts him off. "Flesher's wrestling, and I... er... want to be wide awake."

"Have you no shame?"

"Hm? What's that, a kind of espresso?"

Stevens turns back to face the camera, ignoring his partner. "Tonight, we see 'The Superior One' Tom Flesher take on his nemesis, Z. These two have been fighting on and off for quite a while, ever since they debuted together in the SJL. They have quite a history together, with Flesher holding many victories in matches INVOLVING Z, but never holding a pin or submission over the leader of the Midnight Carnival. In fact, in their most recent encounter, Flesher was forced to walk out to save his US Title. That was several weeks ago, and now Z gets a shot at the Light Heavyweight belt. Your thoughts, Bobby?"

"Well, Grand Canyon, the problem with that assessment is that Z doesn't win a whole heck of a lot. He just gets lucky once in a while."

"I beg to differ. The kid definitely has potential, or else he wouldn't be in the Midnight Carnival, much less leading it."

"Pffft. Midnight Carnival. You tell me the name of ONE great athlete ever to come out of that playpen."

"Well, there's Edwin MacPhisto, for one."

"Pardon me? I couldn't hear you, my headset tuned out for a second."

"I said Edwin's a Carnie."

"Huh? Blarney?"

Stevens sighs. "What an asshole."

"Sure, I'll have some casserole."

"Let's go to Funyon."

The personification of everyone's favorite heavily salted snack treat steps into the ring. "The following match," he says, "is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the Light Heavyweight Championship!" With that, the funkadelic "Epic" begins to play, and the crowd pops like a cherry on prom night. A single spotlight illuminates the ramp as the fans await the entrance of their existential hero.

Funyon announces, "The challenger, from Trenton, New Jersey, and weighing in at 229 pounds, he is the ONE! The ONLY! The leader of the Midnight Carnival.... Z!!!!!!"

The spotlight continues to shine down on the entrace, but there's no motion. Finally, Z pushes the curtain aside to an unbelievable ovation. He shuffles down the ramp, looking quite meek in contrast to the monster pop he's getting, and finally bangs off a quick salute before entering the ring. He leans in his corner, shedding his jacket, as the lights go down.

"And his opponent..."

The intro to the Philosopher Kings' "I Am The Man" begins to play. The familiar blue pyro goes off, culminating in an explosion that leaves Tom Flesher standing on the platform. Grinning, he walks down the aisle and enters the ring. He takes his place in the center and looks over at Funyon, who grudgingly pulls an index card out of his pocket. After a quick once-over, he smiles and begins reading.

"Ladies and gentlemen of Miami, standing in the ring is a role model for each and every one of you. Look him over, and learn from his life. Learn that if you catch crabs, it's hard to get rid of them."

Flesher looks over, shocked, as the crowd begins to laugh.

"Learn that if you're born ugly, there's not a whole hell of a lot you can do about it."

Flesher's face turns red.

"And learn that sideburns are really, really ugly."

"WHAT?! THAT'S NOT THE CARD I GAVE YOU!!!!!!!"

"So ladies and gentlemen, appreciate the kindness of this benevolent soul, alienating himself from society for the sole benefit of showing us how stupid we might look. Bow down to him in gratitude, for he is not only the top light heavyweight in the league but also the bottom for Bobby Riley on road trips. He is your soon-to-be-former Light Heavyweight Champion, he is the Venereal One, Tom Flesher!"

Z can't contain himself anymore and burst into a belly laugh at his own prank. Flesher hears him and turns around to see the Carnie Leader doubled over in laughter. Without thinking, he charges blindly at the New Jersey native. Z looks up, sees Flesher running at him and immediately stands up, backdropping the Light Heavyweight Champion over the top rope! Eddy Long signals for the bell.

DING DING DING!!!

Desperately, Flesher grabs the strand as he goes over and holds on to avoid landing on the concrete. Z turns around and kicks Flesher hard in the small of the back as he hangs from the ropes, and he lets go, falling to the cement floor. He lands on his feet and turns around... but Z dropkicks him in the face! The crowd pops as Flesher stumbles backwards and Z backs off, satisfied with the effort.

"What a start to this match!" says Stevens. "Z takes charge right from the start!"

"Oh, Flesher's just luring him into a false sense of security," spits Riley. "He could take this match over any time he wanted to."

Flesher slides back into the ring, and Z instantly starts to stomp away at his head. Flesher crawls away and pulls himself back to his feet, Z already having asserted his dominance.

Flesher steps to the center of the ring and squares off with Z. Z steps forward, sensing that his opponent is slightly off his game, and grabs his left arm. Z channels Tito Santana and, with a quick spin move, wrenches Flesher's arm. Flesher yowls in pain, and Z drags and twists the arm again. Flesher tries to get away, but Z continues wrenching the arm.

"Arm drag and twist," says Stevens, "and we're already seeing a focused offense out of Z."

"Yeah, but at this stage it could still be a statistical accident."

Z yanks the arm hard; Flesher grits his teeth and tries to no-sell it as best he can. Looking for a quick way out, he scrambles for the ropes. Pulling his opponent along with him, Flesher lunges for the sidelines and grabs the top cable. Eddy Long administers the standards four-count, and the One-Letter Wonder compliantly breaks the old. As soon as there's sufficient space, Flesher takes advantage of his opponent's will to please the official and leans over to bitchslap the leader of the Carnival!

SMACK! "OW! Christ on a cracker!"

Eddy Long admonishes Flesher, but the Superior One just steps forward and nails Z with a stiff palm strike!

SMACK! "Jesus Mouse!" Z leans over and grabs his face, trying desperately to beg off with his free hand, but Flesher does the only thing a heel would do in the situation...

one more bitchslap.

SMACK! "You know, I used to buy you breakfast!"

"What plain disrespect for the leader of the Midnight Carnival!" Stevens is in ultra-honorable, easily-ticked mode tonight. "Flesher's not even trying anything- he's just looking to embarrass Z!"

"Hey, if the shoe fits."

"What are you implying?"

"That Flesher needs a new pair of Docs. Look! The soles are starting to crack!"

"Well, Bobby, that's why Z's wearing sneakers."

"Bah. Those shoes aren't NEARLY as dangerous as Flesher's."

Flesher shrugs and drops down, grabbing Z's left leg and pulling him to the mat. He follows through by standing back up and starting to twist Z over, obviously looking for his half crab hold. Z resists, bracing himself against the mat for leverage, and Flesher responds by simply dropping an elbow into the side of his knee. Forgoing the usual repetition, Flesher releases Z and waits for him to get to his feet. As soon as he stands up, Flesher nails him with a train wreck of a double leg that knocks the wind right out of the Little Carnie That Shouldn't. Flesher covers for

ONE!

but Z kicks out and immediately makes a grab for Flesher's left arm.

"Beautiful double leg takedown from Tom Flesher," says Mark Stevens.

"He sure is, Mark. He sure is."

The Superior One pulls his arm back, but Z yanks it forward and tries to force it into a Fujiwara armbar. Flesher fights it by standing up and pulling Z with him. The two fight briefly for positioning before Flesher swings his Doc Marten around and sweeps Z's leg right out from under him. Flesher drops down for a cover and gets

ONE!

but Z kicks out. Flesher tries to stay on top, but Z grabs his left arm and spins out into a hammerlock. Channelling all his mat skills, Flesher counters by spinning through with a hammerlock reversal, and then hitting Z in the back of the head with a super-stiff shotei! Z goes limp for a moment, and Flesher grabs him around the waist. He attempts to stand up for a German suplex, but the One-Letter Wonder hits an exceedingly sloppy standing switch and goes behind him! He follows through, locking around Flesher's neck and kicking his leg out for a side Russian leg sweep! On impact, he rolls through and covers the champion for

ONE!

but Flesher kicks out! Realizing he really doesn't want to let Flesher back to his feet, Z adopts a "ground and pound" strategy and mounts Flesher. He starts throwing a series of sloppy punches, most of which get blocked.

"Z is showing a lot of ruthless aggression here, Bobby!"

"Wait'll Flesher lands a kick to the mouth. Then it'll be..."

Stevens groans preemptively.

"TOOTHLESS AGGRESSION! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Does stupidity occur naturally to you, or did you actually work at this?"

Z throws another punch, which gets deflected. Flesher responds by throwing an upward palm blow that catches Z in the jaw. Z nearly falls back, then wobbles forward and flops down on Flesher. The official shrugs and counts

ONE!

but Flesher shoves the Carnie off and shoots a glare at Long. The ref shrugs and mutters, "Hey, YOU try doing this job with 20/40 vision."

Flesher immediately stands up and locks his hands behind Z's back, cinching a double chickenwing. He stands up, pulling his opponent with him, and spins through, slamming him to the mat with an Unprettier! The fans pop at the unexpected move as Flesher covers for

ONE!

TWO!

NO! Z kicks out!

"Flesher obviously knows he's in trouble," says Stevens. "He's busting out the big guns early, because he understands that he won't be taking Z to school."

"Why would he think that?"

"Well, for one, because he's never beaten Z cleanly. He knows that, lucky loser or not, Z's a tough son of a bitch."

"Well, still, Flesher's sup-"

"Don't start with me, Roberta. Flesher's good with knowing his opponents' weaknesses, and he knows Z can take more punishment than Cutthroat at a biker rally."

"Phew, yeah, those bikers. You say ONE LITTLE THING about having to share a bed, and-"

"Shut UP, or I'll have to tell them where I saw you and NTD the other night."

Riley recoils. "I'll be good."

Flesher stands up and pulls Z with him, slapping on a front facelock as he yanks him to his feet. He tries to jerk Z up off the mat for a brainbuster, but Z resists. With a quick shift of his weight, Z drops down and takes Flesher over with a vertical suplex. Flesher rolls through, only to have Z catch him and nail him with another vertical suplex. As Flesher gets back to his feet, Z slaps on the SIDE HEADLOCK OF IMPENDING DISCOMFORT and squeezes it as hard as he can! The fans immediately cheer as he starts throwing closed fists at Flesher's forehead.

"Well, I never thought I'd say it," says Stevens, "but Z's got the upper hand over Tom Flesher right now."

"You're just saying that because you're one of those dirty freaking Carnies too."

"Maybe, but Flesher's not looking too comfortable."

Z holds on to Flesher in the headlock and continues punching him over and over. Flesher finally regains some semblance of balance and leans forward, shooting Z off to the ropes. Z rebounds and Flesher throws his leg up to hit Z with a Yakuza kick. New Jersey's favorite son ducks, though, and continues running to bounce off the opposite ropes. Flesher spins around, shocked, and Z catches him with an Arm Grenade! Immediately, Tom staggers backwards, and Z follows up with an arm drag takedown. He segues seamlessly into a stepover armbar, which Flesher tries to escape by scurrying toward the ropes. He hooks his foot over the bottom rope and Z dutifully breaks the hold while the crowd applauds him for stumping his opponent so thoroughly. Flesher, looking frustrated, bails to the outside and begins to pace.

"Flesher's totally off his game," says Stevens. "He's completely stumped by Z's offense! There's nothing he can do! Z isn't just everyone's favorite jobber, he's the one and only cure for Flesher's ego!"

"No!!!! You're just making stuff up now, you ass!"

"Look at him, Bobby! He's scared!"

Z, extremely pleased with himself, joins Flesher on the outside and steps toward him to start brawling. Flesher shoves him toward the ring and backs away, pointing urgently at Eddy Long's shoe and yelling "Tie it! It's untied!" Long looks down, only to see the laces of both shoes securely knotted. Frustrated, Flesher leans in and grabs a lace in each hand, then yanks them to untie the official's wingtips. "What the hell are you DOING?!" hollers Long, who then...

you guessed it. Leans down to tie both his shoes.

"Jesus Christ," mutters Stevens. "Where do we GET these guys from?"

"Oh, come on. Are you telling me you've never been blinded by the warm, glowing warming glow Flesher gives off?"

"..."

"I thought so."

With Long sufficiently distracted, Flesher turns toward Z, who's watching the referee fiddle with his shoelaces, and suckers him with a quick palm strike. He then drags Z over to the announce table and grabs the ring bell.

"He wouldn't!" shouts Stevens.

"Oh, but he would!"

Flesher lifts the ring bell high and then brings it down hard on Z's cranium, splitting the One Letter Wonder's head wide open and sending a loud DING echoing through the arena. Long looks up and sees Flesher holding the ring bell. Flesher's expression says, "FUCK! Gotta cover for the noise!"Thinking quickly, he swings his arms out and lets loose with a chorus of, "TELL ALL THE PEOPLE THAT YOU SEE.... FOLLOW ME...." in what can best be described as a cross between a tenor and a cat in a washing machine. Riley takes the cue and sings, "FOLLOW HIM DOWN!"

Long looks angrily at Flesher, who's still HOLDING the ring bell. Unsure of what to do next, Flesher gulps and continues, "TELL ALL THE PEOPLE THAT YOU SEE... IT'S JUST ME..."

"FOLLOW HIM DOWN!"

Long sighs and says, "Whatever." He continues tying his shoe as Flesher lifts Z up and rolls him into the ring. The bloody Carnie lays somewhat limply on the mat as Flesher enters the ring and positions Z near the corner. Flesher mounts the top rope and looks down at his opponent, then raises his arms into the air. The crowd showers him with boos as he leaps off the top rope, then crashes down on Z with a dynamite flying headbutt. Stevens sighs and says, "So this is the way it ends... with a bell shot. Well, that can hardly be called clean."

Flesher takes a moment to recover, then crawls onto Z and drapes himself arrogantly over the body. Long counts

ONE!

TWO!

THR- NO!!!!!! Z lifts his shoulder at the last possible second!!! Flesher looks up, shocked, and Long simply says, "Eh, got what you deserved."

"Listen to that, Grand Opening! The ref's trying to screw Flesher!"

"What color is the sky on your planet? Flesher just hit him with the ring bell! It wouldn't be fair for the match to end like that!"

"Oh, WHEN did he hit him with the bell?"

"Not thirty seconds ago! You helped him cover for it!!"

"Mark, all you're doing is remembering the stiffness of his palm strikes and his beautiful singing voice. It's not Tom's fault if Z can't take a shotei without collapsing."

Flesher grabs Z by the waist of his jean shorts and yanks him to his feet, then whips him to the ropes. Z rebounds, and Flesher catches him, then throws him overhead in a ridiculously high-amplitude Railgun Suplex! Z crashes to the mat limply, prompting Stevens to blurt out, "He looks like a rag doll!"

"Raggedy Alex!"

Flesher leans over and covers him for

ONE!

TWO!

THR- NO!!!!!!! Z kicks out and rolls away while Flesher looks at Eddy Long like he had just asked permission to stick his finger up his nose. Flesher stands up and turns to face Eddy, yelling that it was three all the way. Long looks up at Flesher and angrily holds up two fingers, admonishing him not to question the referee's judgement. With Long thusly distracted, Z crawls up behind Flesher and...

"GALATEA SPECIAL!" Mark Stevens beams with pride as Flesher doubles over. "Z hits the Galatea Special, and the tide has turned!"

"How can you condone that?! Aren't you the one who's always griping about unethical treatment of the testicles?"

"Bobby, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, I don't CARE what goes on in your hotel room as long as you don't try to involve me in it."

Z grabs the sufficiently Galateaed Flesher by the waist and segues beautifully into a belly-to-back suplex, then adds a weak bridge and holds him for

ONE!

TWO!

NO! Flesher kicks out and rolls through, coming up to his feet. Z charges at him, looking for an arm grenade...

AND RUNS RIGHT INTO A PALM STRIKE TO THE JAW!

The New Jersey native staggers backward as Flesher takes a moment to shake off the cobwebs, then charges forward with a Yakuza kick. Z collapses to the mat, and Flesher covers him with the leg hooked for

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- NO!!!! Z kicks out! Flesher looks up, completely unable to comprehend how Z is withstanding all the punishment he's dishing out. He looks down at the blood oozing out of the One Letter Wonder's forehead, and the doughy body, and then the ceiling. "WHY, GOD, WHY?!"

"Flesher just can't understand it!" says Stevens. "He just doesn't know how Z can take this beating!"

"He's the world's bitch, but hell, even I'd go down after a beating like that!"

"Uh..."

"What? He's just pounding and pounding, and Z keeps taking it. He looks like he's about to explode because of all the build-up."

Stevens mutters that Christopher Edward is watching at home, and Riley merely says, "What? Can't you say that on TV?"

Flesher sighs exasperatedly, and finally decides to switch gears significantly. He falls into a textbook amateur stance and waits for Z to get back to his feet. As soon as the Carnival's fearful leader squares off, Tom shoots in and grabs the leg. He pulls Z through in a single-leg takedown, but instead of locking on a submission, he swings through into an inside cradle for

ONE!

TWO!

THR- NO! Z rolls it through, locking in a cradle of his own for

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- Flesher kicks out! He stays tight to Z, though, and spins behind him to slap on a waistlock. Keeping the pressure on, he forces Z to the ropes and then rolls backward, grabbing a fistful of Z's jean shorts to add leverage. Long drops down to count

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

NO!!!!!!!!! Long looks up and sees Flesher holding Z's belt and waves off the fall! Flesher immediately lets go and holds his arms out to pretend that he didn't do anything illegal. When he does, Z promptly grabs Flesher's waist and rolls HIM through for

ONE!

TWO!

THR- NO! Flesher rolls through! He starts to lock up reflexively, but thinks better of it and backs away.

"Flesher's trying plan B," says Stevens. "He realized that he can't knock Z out. He can't make Z submit."

"Oh, he COULD," says Riley. "He could do it any time he wanted to."

"... are we watching the same match?!"

"Yeah! Misawa/Kawada 3/31/96, right?"

Flesher grabs Z and, thinking maybe he's worn the Head Carnie down enough for a win, lifts him up into a vertical suplex. He stalls....

and stalls...

and STALLS......

AND STALLS..........

BAM! He crashes to the mat, slamming Z headfirst into the canvas with a brainbuster! Arrogantly, he leans over and covers Z for

ONE!

TWO!

THR- NO!!!!!! Z KICKS OUT!

The fans burst into a "CAR-NI-VAL! CAR-NI-VAL!" chant as Z pulls himself to his feet and starts to stagger around.

"Z BOARDED THE HEAD TRAUMA EXPRESS AND GOT OFF SAFELY! FLESHER CAN'T BEAT HIM!!!!"

"Oh god! What am I gonna do?!"

"Flesher's going to lose both his belts in the span of one week!!!"

Z, walking like a toddler, staggers around the ring while Flesher slaps his head in frustration and anger. Flesher grabs Z and whips him to the ropes. He throws up his foot halfheartedly for a Yakuza kick and doesn't look shocked at all when Z ducks it. He turns around and makes almost no effort to dodge when Z rebounds and nails him with a super-stiff Arm Grenade! He collapses numbly, and Z falls down on top of him for

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

"Look at Flesher," says Stevens. "He knows he's beaten!" Riley perks. "Not like that, you idiot! Z has broken Flesher's spirit! Flesher's not even trying!" Stevens is practically on his feet for his fellow Carnie.

Flesher gets to his feet hazily, wearing an expression of sheer and utter defeat. He gets back to his feet and whips Z to the ropes. Preidctably, Z charges at him with another Arm Grenade. Flesher backpedals several steps until he's almost to the ropes, then ducks! Z hits the ropes chest first and rebounds...

RIGHT INTO A SCHOOLBOY! Flesher rolls Z up and, as soon as Eddy Lonq drops down for the pin, he braces both his feet on the middle rope! Long, oblivious to Flesher's blatant disregard for the rules, counts

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!!!!!!

DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!

Flesher quickly kicks his feet off the ropes and rolls to the center.

"What the hell?!" Mark Stevens is mad as hell that Flesher retained his title.

"Your winner, and STILL SWF Light Heavyweight Champion... 'The Superior One' Tom Flesher!!!!!"

Eddy Long hands Flesher the belt, and Flesher promptly kisses it and slings it over his shoulder. Z dejectedly rolls out of the ring and stumbles to the back.

"Flesher cannot beat Z! He hit him with a brainbuster, he hit him with an Unprettier... he hit him with the ring bell, for god's sake!"

"That was just him singing."

"SHUT UP, Bobby! Flesher CANNOT beat Z without cheating. That's all that was proved tonight... Jesus, let's go to commercial."

September 21, 2002

“Don't go looking for snakes you might find them,”

“Don't send your eyes to the sun you might blind them,”

“Haven't I seen you here before?”

The heavy slow and dark tones of Metallica’s ‘Slither’ pump out into the American Airlines arena as we come back from commercial brake. The Smark-Tron sparks up to the dimly lit arena and on its silver screen, it portrays Stubby P. McWeed leering over an image of the members of Creative Control beating the living hell out of people, before the Commissioner looks out of the screen and…

The ramp way erupts into explosion! Starting at the far end and working it’s way to the stage, triggering an almighty pyro burst that when it clears, leaves Sacred and Divefire standing shoulder to shoulder and looking down into the ring.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this next match is a tag match for one fall! Introducing first, comprising the team of Creative Control and weighing in at a combined weight of 423 pounds they are Sacred and Divefire!” Funyon shills and intros the match for the crowds and fans at home, just in case any one was lost.

“I’d expect to see this match on a Pay Per View…” Riley says. “But we’re giving it away for FREE! How nice are we?”

“Extremely…” Stevens says with a glum look on his face as he groans at his partner. “But I have to agree, this is a big tag match! Three World champions, and a crazy Australian! And I don’t mean Steve Irwin!”

Fake laughs from Riley are heard, “Oh my that was so not funny!”

As the intro spiel is read off by the familiar voice, Divefire and Sacred find their way into the ring and pause for a moment to survey the crowds who chant a few boos over the music. They share a brief look before as one the two men raise their hands into the air and the four ring turnbuckles obey their silent command and fire pyro high into the arena skyline.

“Don't go looking for snakes you might find them,”

“Don't send your eyes to the sun you might blind them,”

“Haven't I seen you here before?”

“Have your heroes disappeared?”

The song cuts off with those last lyrics and the two men turn to each other and look out to stage area as the boos for the two men fade as the arena lights do, becoming nothing. Then a soft female voice whispers out to the fans, “Midnight Carnival.”

That’s all it takes, the crowds go crazy, screaming, cheering and basically going psychopathic as the Smark-Tron flashes, blazing white in time with the opening beats of the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ ‘Love Rollercoaster’.

The Carnival’s anthem pumps through the arena and three blue laser lights trace the arena, all stemming from the same point in the middle of the entrance ramp. As the lyrics ‘Rollercoaster of Love’ echo through the arena for the first time, the laser lights flare out into a blue haze across the entrance ramp El Luchadore Magnifico and Edwin MacPhisto step out from behind the curtain and pose off to the crowds. Then the arena plunges back into darkness just as purple strobe lights tear through the house and the blue laser lights spiral wildly, illuminating the members of the Midnight Carnival in funky, staccato bursts as they walk down the ramp way. All the while the Smark-Tron playing video clips of classic Carnival maneuvers for the fans to mark out even more to.

“And introducing their opponents, representing the irreplaceable Midnight Carnival and weighing in at 432 pounds please welcome, El Luchadore Magnifico and Edwin MacPhisto!” Funyon yells over the screams and cries of the fans, being as impartial as always…

The two Carnival members climb into the ring, while the Creative Control members look out to them, keeping their gaze locked on their advisories but making no moves to attack them. Yet. Funyon slides out of the ring as the house lights come up and is replaced by ever ready Matty K, still the senior referee after all this time. The man in the zebra shirt instructs one man from each team to get back behind the ropes and after a brief discussion between each team, the current world champion is facing off against his most recent foe, Sacred.

The Australian with a mad on for everything charges Magnifico at the first opportunity, tying up with him and pushing the World Champion around the ring and back into the ropes. Matty K calls for the break and after a few seconds Sacred breaks the hold, stares down the Luchadore and slaps him right across the face and the crowds throw out a chorus of boos!

“What a slap!” Riley starts, adding the commentary teams unique insight into this match. “You can see how much respect Sacred has for the World Champion right there!”

“Yeah you can, and you can bet ELM is going to repay that sort of respect in kind!” Stevens returns with a slight amount of heat in his voice.

ELM rubs at his cheek for just a second, anger welling up in his eyes at Sacred before he fires off a hard knife edge chop, staggering Sacred back a step, the blows returned by Sacred, returned by ELM, Sacred, ELM, Sacred! Woo! The two men stand in the ring and hear the chants of the crowds, throw a bitter look at each other and then sprint past each other, heading for the far ropes. They both bounce off at the same time and head for each other at full speed, ELM goes high, leaping clean over Sacred’s head as he drops a shoulder. Bounce off again and the return past ELM leaps, flying through the air and looking for the crossbody splash. It nails Sacred, but Sacred converts to a roll through powerslam, but ELM hooks a leg on the way down and reverses into a schoolboy roll up, first count of the night!

One…!

Sacred kicks out with authority and rolls to his feet, as ELM stands equally as quickly. Sacred offers the tie up again and ELM steps forward to accept it, getting a fast kick to the gut for his troubles. Sacred slams ELM back with a forearm to his head, then another and another, driving the World Champion into a neutral corner. A few more kicks are placed to ELM’s midsection for good measure before he picks up the World Champion and places him on top of the turnbuckle, starting to climb up after him.

“Sacred looking for the superplex, my gut tells me it’s way to early for that!” Stevens shoots on the move…

But he’s right, ELM starts punching Sacred down and off the turnbuckle, stunning him for a second long enough, the Luchadore leans forward and hooks Sacred’s neck, fires off the turnbuckle and…

“Tornado DDT!” Stevens again. “ELM just drilled Sacred into the mat with that move!”

“And that damn Carnie is following up with his second cover of the night!” Riley chides through gritted teeth.

One…!

T…! Sacred kicks out again before the hand of Matty K can touch the mat for a second time. ELM helps the groggy Australian to his feet and whips him to the ropes. Sacred comes back and ELM looks for the hip toss, Sacred blocks plants his feet and counters with a improvised German suplex, releasing ELM on impact as his head bounces off the mat. ELM looks slightly stunned on the floor of the ring, and only vaguely starts to fight back as Sacred drags him to the Creative Control corner. The tag is made to Divefire but as he flips over the top rope to the ring, ELM starts to fire a series of knife edge chops into Sacred, trying to battle his way out of the corner in true hero fashion!

“Look at ELM fight back against the double team, the World Champion refuses to be double teamed!” Stevens cries over the mic, trying to support his fellow Carnie as best he can from ring side.

“It doesn’t matter, Mark, because here comes Divefire!” Riley retorts, trying his best to dash the hopes of the Carnival man.

Indeed, here does come Divefire, as ELM wails chops on Sacred, only to be turned around and receive a hard right hand to the jaw. ELM staggers back but then he drives forward into his new assailant, firing a series of chops into Divefire who is forced back a step of his own. Sacred comes stops the onslaught by driving a forearm into the back of ELM and staggering the World Champion into the clutches of Divefire who quickly locks a front face lock on ELM and kicks his own feet out…

“DDT!” Riley hollers. “Divefire stopping ELM’s fight back cold with that sweet looking DDT!”

“Only with an assist from Sacred though!” Counters Stevens. “And he’s not even going for the cover, he’s just standing there and waiting for ELM to get to his feet! How arrogant is that man?!”

Very, it would seem. The crowds jeer as Divefire takes a step back from ELM and folds his arms across his chest, waiting for him to stand, which is only a few seconds. ELM looks towards his fresh advisory and rubs the back of his head for a second, before looking for a lock up again. Divefire steps back though and just shakes his head and points out to the Carnival corner and the man who stands there.

“Hah! Look at that!” Riley screaming again. “Divefire doesn’t want the World Champion, he wants the man himself, Eddy Mac!”

“Well if Divefire wants Edwin, I’m sure he’s going to get him and more!” Stevens counters, shaking his head slightly in amazement.

ELM looks a little put out by the almost ignoring of him, but he looks to MacPhisto, who simply shrugs and then asks the crowds. The crowds scream the place down when asked if he should step into the ring and accept the challenge, to which Divefire simply smirks slightly. Edwin smiles and sticks out his hand for the tag and ELM back pedals, slapping skin with his fellow Carnie. MacPhisto slowly strolls into the ring, making a show of stepping through the ropes and walking into the center of the ring and offering a lock up to Divefire with a smile.

“Look at that, Edwin almost seems pleased at the invite!” Riley utters in some astonishment.

“Maybe he thinks he can get the better of Divefire, after all he looks pretty arrogant and self assured for a man who got his ass so well kicked last week by Mercury!” Stevens reminds those who may have missed that particular episode.

The two Englishmen lock up and after a moments brief struggle Edwin has the better of it and slams on a hard hammer lock, Divefire grits his teeth in pain but quickly reverses the hold into a hammer lock of his own! Edwin slaps his free hand against his shoulder and after a moment reverses the hammer lock again, but Divefire goes with the momentum and goes into the Owen Hart flip series to reverse the hold into a straight arm bar and quickly goes for the hook kick! Edwin ducks under it showing his own supreme agility, but Divefire continues with the momentum, flowing through into a sweep which Edwin avoids with a quick leap and starts to counter going for a shotei as Divefire stands, the strike hits and moves him back all of a step.

“First blood to MacPhisto! What a sequence and he came out on top, that’s my boy!” Stevens shills for his own team.

“Yeah and all it’s done is get Divefire pissed!” Counters Riley. “Look at that expression, he’s not amused!”

Although Edwin certainly is, offering the pissed off ninja a sweet smile before driving forward and looking for a springing side kick to the chest of the smaller man but Divefire moves that little bit more quickly, drawing up his own leg and…

“Fire Kick!” Riley illustrates. “That’s why you don’t brawl with a pissed off ninja, he just sent MacPhisto back to the mat with authority!”

“Don’t count Edwin out yet, Bobby! The Crown Prince of Flash and Panache is never short of surprises!”

And on this matter, Stevens is indeed right. As Divefire moves in to follow up his Fire Kick, bending over to pick Edwin up, The Mac Daddy vaults to his feet, wraps a front face lock on to Divefire and implants his head into the mat to a massive crowd pop!

“You see! Great shock value move by Edwin! And look at him as he goes for the pin, that’s ring experience telling!” Stevens finishes up as Edwin hooks the leg.

One…!

Divefire blinks up in shock and surprise.

Two…!

He hears the rhythmic beating and powers his legs free, lifting his shoulders from the mat and out of the grasp of Edwin for a moment. Edwin nods his head in approving fashion, but quickly pulls Divefire to his feet and pulls him over to the Midnight Carnival’s corner, making the tag back to ELM. Divefire gets a little of his wits about him, firing off an elbow into Edwin’s face, just as ELM vaults to the top rope and springs off, nailing a missile drop kick to a distracted Divefire to another huge pop from the crowds.

Divefire falls back to the mat, clutching at his head, which is taking something of a battering so far but ELM does not let up, breaking into a short sprint and leaping high into the air and crashing down with a senton splash to Divefire’s midsection. The former World Champion clutches at his chest in pain while the current World Champion finds his feet. ELM very generously pulls Divefire to his feet, via his hair and whips the shorter man to the ropes, Divefire comes back with speed but not overly aware of where he is and gets taking back to the mat with a drop toe hold by ELM. But as he goes down, ELM grabs Divefire around the face with a crossface while keeping the hold on the ankles, sinking in the submission move.

“And ELM has the Sangria Stretch locked in!” Extrapolates Stevens. “He’s looking to wear Divefire down and suck the fight out of the Brit, even if this move doesn’t win it, it’s just going to set him up for something bigger and nastier!”

“Yeah, yeah, get you’re head out of the Carnival’s ass!” Riley mutters indignantly. “All Divefire needs to do is tag in Sacred for a break and he’ll be as good as new!”

True as that may be, currently Divefire’s mind is one the pain running all the way down his back and incessant jabbering of Matty K asking if he wants to give up, to which he keeps shaking his head. ELM tries to sink the move in harder, wrenching Divefire’s head back, but that just gives the ninja an idea. Quickly using his supreme flexibility to lean back and place his hands either side of ELM’s head, holding it firm and then slamming the front of ELM’s head into the back of his!

“Or he could just impromptu reverse head BUTT his way out of the move.” Riley adds in a somewhat stunned tone.

ELM lets the hold go and rolls away, clutching at his forehead for a moment and checking for blood. Finding none, the completely legal Mexican starts to move for his corner, noting the stretched out hand of MacPhisto, while Divefire does much the same, though rather slower given the pain coursing through his back. ELM gets to his feet and makes the tag to Edwin who waists no time getting in the ring and sprints across to the Creative Control corner. Grabbing a hold of Divefire’s leg just before he’s about to tag in Sacred and pulling him back into the center of the ring. He gives Sacred an apologetic shrug, to which the Australian shakes his fist violently at the Englishman but fights the urge to come charging into the ring.

Edwin starts to pull Divefire to his feet, but this time around he’s more aware of where he is and more importantly seriously pissed off. He fires a series of fists into Edwin’s stomach, each blow with a little more force then the last and forcing Edwin back a step and away. Finally to his feet under his own power, Divefire runs for MacPhisto and leaps into the air, but Edwin catches him in mid flight and spins him into a…

“Impromptu tilt-a-whirl back breaker!” Stevens exclaims with delight. “Divefire’s comeback was oh so short lived!”

“You’re enjoying this way to much.” Riley mutters back. “Oh and great, Edwin with another cover to rub salt into the wound.”

Yes it is and Matty K is down for the count.

One…!

The crowds cheer for the Carnival, willing MacPhisto to pin the flaming man.

Two…!

Edwin holds on, wondering if just maybe they’ve worn the ninja down enough.

Thr…!

A boot the back of Edwin’s neck breaks the count, courtesy of Sacred and leaving every one wondering if MacDaddy could have pinned his fellow Brit right there and then. Matty K quickly gets to his feet to shout the rules at Sacred, but he’s already back in his corner and waiting patiently for his partner to get his act together.

MacPhisto takes a moment to find his feet, more shock then injury going through his body. He stands after a moment, shaking his head and once again looking to pull Divefire to his feet, which would have worked perfectly, except this time Divefire goes straight into a box splits, draws his fist back and…

“Package Check!” Riley winces in appreciation of the look on Edwin’s face as he grabs at his crotch. “Straight from the library of momentum transitional moves, Divefire comes back!”

“A low blow variant isn’t going to stop the Mac Daddy!” Stevens counters, willing his friend on as Divefire quickly gets to his feet, slaps his hands on Edwin’s shoulders and somersaults himself over Edwin’s head and uses the momentum to drive the back of his head into the mat!

“Well how about the Fire Bomb then?!” Riley counters as Edwin looks up at the nice lights of the arena.

“Okay, yeah that might do the trick…” Stevens mutters as Divefire lays a hand across Edwin’s chest for his first pin attempt of the night.

One…!

The crowds will the Mac Daddy to kick out!

Tw…!

And how he does so, rolling his shoulders off the mat and finding himself on his hands and feet, shaking his head to remove the cobwebs. Next to him though, Divefire looks up and grits his teeth, focusing as best he can on the ring and Australian accented yells for him to get his British ass to the Creative Control corner and make the damn tag!

Divefire starts the crawl towards his corner, slowly coming to with each move of his hand as Edwin does much the same, though perhaps a little slower from the more recent damage done. The two men race at snails pace, the crowds screaming for the Midnight Carnival to make the tag. Both men near their corners, then with a burst from his legs, Divefire leaps forward and tags in his partner, moments after Edwin does the same and Sacred and ELM leap into the ring and charge for each other to a massive pop from the crowds.

“And here we go again!” Is all Stevens can yell as he watches on.

Sacred flies across the ring, but misses with a hasty flying forearm, which allows Magnifico to capitalize, scoring with some rights an lefts which leave the Aussie staggering. The two Brits on the ring apron get to their feet, a little groggy, but not enough that they can’t cheer on their respective partners. Magnifico begins to alternate with some chops, which electrify the crowd with chants of “Whoo! Whoo!” Magnifico grabs Sacred’s hand and whips him across the ring. Sacred comes charging back, ducking under Magnifico who leap frogs into the air. Sacred slings back from the opposite ropes, as Magnifico rolls onto his back and kicks his legs up, sending Sacred across the ring with a monkey flip. The Australian lands on his feet though, as Magnifico rolls backwards and springs off his back, hitting a seated dropkick on Sacred! The Aussie stumbles into the ropes and unknowingly bounces back, as Magnifico grabs him and rolls him up!

“Magnifico’s got him! Inventive counter from the Mexican!” Stevens yells.

One…!

Edwin claps as Divefire gets worried and steps into the ring slightly…

Two…!

Thre…!

Sacred pushes out right before the count of three! The fans gasp, thinking their Mexican hero had won the match, but alas it’s not to be. Sacred rolls back onto his feet as Magnifico protests Matty K’s slow counting, and kicks him in the face with a quick roundhouse!

“Listen to that echo!” Riley says, grimacing as he sees Magnifico falls back lifelessly to the mat. “No doubt he took some skin off, that was a thunderous shot!”

“A little unconventional, but in a big math up like this, you need to pull out all the stops.” Stevens informs us.

Sacred lifts the Mexican onto his feet and pushes him into the turnbuckles, driving his knee straight into Mag’s mid section. Edwin calls out his protests from his corner, but the ref isn’t listening, such is the power of Creative Control. Sacred whips champion across the ring. Sacred stumbles over as he puts more power behind the whip, and it pays off as Magnifico is flipped up onto the turnbuckles and into a tree of woe predicament!

“This can’t be good…” Stevens says worryingly. “My Mexican friend is at Sacred’s will!”

Sacred shoots a quick grin as he takes some time to just chuckle with Divefire, watching him in his position. Sacred lines himself up with his opponent, across the other side of the ring. He charges across the canvas and slides halfway across the ring, turning sideways with a baseball slide, but Magnifico lifts his upper body upwards and Sacred goes skidding straight into the ring post! Sacred’s face is a combination of surprise and pain, as he lies on the canvas face down, his groin hitting the ring post. The fans pop like crazy as Edwin smiles and nods approvingly, while Divefire cringes and turns away.

Magnifico looks up to the roof and thanks his lucky stars, even if he can’t see them. He reaches back down though, draping over the turnbuckle in the tree of woe, grasping onto Sacred’s hair and wrenching his neck upwards! The crowd cheers as Magnifico is clearly in some discomfort in his position, but Sacred is yelling out in pain as his neck is pulled upwards, his neck bending at a horrible angle.

“I’ve never seen this before in my career!” Stevens cries. “But it’s extremely effective! Sacred now at Magnifico’s mercy!”

Sacred manages to shoot his arm side wards and grasp onto the bottom rope, and Matty K counts to four, before making Magnifico release the hold. Mag flips out of the turnbuckles and lands on his feet, grabbing at his back for a second, obviously feeling pain. Edwin calls across the ring wit his arm outstretched, and Magnifico makes the tag! The two Carnie’s pat each other on the back as Edwin steps into the ring and Magnifico exits, raising his arm to the crowd and acknowledging their support. Edwin lifts Sacred onto his feet, and hits a few right hands, before whipping him into the ropes. Sacred stumbles back and Edwin lifts him up, and slams him back down with a spinebuster!

“No, not the Love Rollercoaster!” Riley yells in vain. “Sacred’s being punished by the Carnie’s, I don’t know how much more he can take!”

Edwin uses all the strength he has left to lift Sacred up onto his shoulders, but Edwin begins to lose his footing, as Sacred just too heavy and he manages fall behind Edwin, grabbing his head as he does into a reverse face lock! But Edwin quickly twists his body and throws Sacred over his shoulder quickly and keeps hold of him, bridging a Northern Lights Suplex! Matty K slides over and pins!

One…!

The fans sense this could be it, as Edwin desperately tries to keep hold of the Aussie..

Two…!

Sacred stirs, trying to roll his shoulders sideward, but unable to…

Thre…!

Sacred pushes his body upwards, breaking the count, to wild jeers from the crowd. Sacred twists his own body around, and locks on a front face lock this time!

“CRUEL FATE time! This could be it!” Stevens shouts. “Edwin just about had him, but Sacred has turned the tables suddenly!”

Edwin is up to the task though, and rushes forward while holding Sacred, crushing him into the turnbuckle in his friendly corner. Edwin stumbles backward, regaining his breath, but Sacred is back on his like a hawk, rushing out of the corner! Edwin spots him however, and ducks his head and just tosses Sacred over his head with a back body drop! The fans cheer, but the merriment is cut short as Sacred rolls forward as tags in Divefire!

“Unforeseen consequences they’re for Edwin, as Divefire is tagged in, and he’s ready to go after a short break!” Riley says happily.

“I just don’t know who will win this, it’s up in the air at this point!” Stevens cries. “But I’m rooting for the Carnie’s, how can you go past these champions!?”

“Very easily…” Riley says with some disdain.

Divefire gets into the ring, to boos and jeers from the fans. Divefire dazzles Edwin with some beautiful punching combinations, while Sacred sneaks around the other side of the ring, spotting his target, a wild Mexican, propped up on the ring apron, trying to encourage his teammate. Sacred grins and runs across to his adversary, grabbing his ankles and pulling him off the apron! Magnifico’s jaw smacks against the apron, and Sacred takes to him with some forearms, backing him against the crowd barrier and battering him, but Magnifico counters, kneeing Sacred in the stomach and slamming his head against the barrier!

In the ring, Divefire backs Edwin into a corner and takes a few steps back, leaping into the air and spinning 360 degrees, hitting a fly kick on Edwin’s head! The whiplash type effect dazes MacPhisto, as Divefire attempts to whip him across the ring, but the MacDaddy reverses it. Divefire hits the turnbuckles but comes right back at his opponent, shooting off a quick, sharp sidekick! But the MacDaddy catches Divefire’s leg and takes him to the mat with a dragon screw leg whip!

“Edwin caught the Fire Kick, and Divefire is down while Magnifico and Sacred slug it out on the outside!” Stevens yells out.

“I don’t know what prompted Sacred to ambush Magnifico, but I’m glad he did, look at those two go, there’s no love lost there!” Riley replies, watching the action in front of him as Sacred grabs Magnifico by the arm and twirls it around his head, taking him down on the concrete with the Knifey Spoony Neckbreaker!

Edwin lifts Divefire to his feet, and whips him into the ropes, well, tries to, but it’s reversed for the thousandth time! Edwin runs towards the ropes and makes contact with them, as Sacred leaps into the air and dropkicks him in the back from the outside! Sacred lands with a thud, hurting himself in the process, but his interference allows Divefire to catch a returning MacPhisto and pick him up in a body slam, but on the way down hit a reverse DDT!

“BURN OUT! He hit it! He hit it Stevens! Sacred staggered MacPhisto just long enough for Divefire to hit his finisher! He hit is mark!” Riley rambles, so excited by what he’s seen.

“I saw it, stop repeating it! I hate to say it, but it might be all over! Do something Magnifico, do anything!”

The crowd rise onto their feet as Divefire hooks the MacDaddy by the leg and pins…

One…!

Magnifico and Sacred lie on the outside, trying to get to their feet, but their injuries force them back down…

Two…!

Edwin’s eyes are closed, his body lay still as Divefire holds his leg a little harder, trying to keep him down for the…

THEEEEEEE…! Yes! They did it! The fans cry out as one, voicing their displeasure as Divefire rolls away and then gets onto his feet, Matty K raising his hand into the air as Sacred slides in, holding his back ,but with that familiar smile etched across his face. Funyon yells into his microphone…

“The winners of this bout… Divefire and Sacred, Creative Control!”

“Yes!” Riley yells happily. “Creative Control go one up on the Carnie’s yet again! Last show Sacred pinned Magnifico, and this show, Divefire pinned MacPhisto! This is working out beautifully for Creative Control!”

“They may have won here tonight, and I’ll admit, it was mighty impressive…” Stevens grumbles, as Riley chuckles in his face. “But the Carnie’s will hope to restore some pride as Genesis III draws near, and the fight of their lives takes place!”

Divefire and Sacred slide out the ring, walking up the ramp, ignoring the fans as they boo and shout insults towards the pair, but right now, they don’t care. Magnifico slides into the ring as MacPhisto begins to struggle onto his feet, not able to comprehend he was pinned once again, and by Divefire of all people…

“A great bout, but coming up next, an eagerly anticipated Miami Mayhem Match in our Main Event! So don’t go away!”

Stevens voice trails off as the screen fades to black, and into more commercials…

September 21, 2002

The people watching at home and watching in the arena at Miami Florida, the SWFTron fires up showing a picture of palm trees, sand, sun, water and people having fun in Miami Beach.

‘Splish Splash I was taking a bath, ready for Friday night…’

A loud thunderous sound is heard as the beautiful sunlight gets covered with clouds as a horrendous thunderstorm start to fall…you see people running away from the rain, running away to take cover as the day light turn into a chilly quiet storm night…three people are walking towards each other, each from different directions…one from the right, the other from the left and the last one from the board walk.

Drums are beating…more like a solider beat as these three figures continues to walk getting closer and closer to each other…rain bouncing from the foreheads or bald head. LDP from the right…Wilson from the left and Bo coming from the board walk…

‘I’m a solider’ is heard from the sound speakers as the three men are about 10 feet from each other…’I’m a solider is heard again with the drums beating fast as they get 5 feet from each other…the face of Wilson, stone cold is seen…the face of LDP, angered is seen and the face of Bo, hatred is also seen. They stopped, all facing each other as the rain drips on them. They just stand there facing each other as the picture slowly fades away…once they’re gone, a phrase is seen with bright yellow and orange lettering and the phrase says…‘MIAMI MAYHEM’.

The SWFtron turns off and the camera inside the arena turns on showing the screaming fans with Hawaiian shirts and signs up. Girls are wearing bathing suits that covers practically nothing and the guys, next to them groping them at will. The camera goes up and down the ramp but the camera scene switches towards the announce table and catches Mark Stevens wearing a light blue shirt that says ‘Hit a Homer’, next to Mark is Riley who’s wearing a black shirt with a phrase and a arrow pointing towards the direction of Mark and says ‘I’m with a homo…’and that’s when they start to speak.

“It’s been a while since I saw this kind of match, and every time we saw this match we have a good time…”

“But why is it that LDP is always involved in this match?”

“Because this is his kind of match, he made this match up and Wilson was stupid enough to request this kind of match.”

“Stupid? No, Wilson is a evil genius and probably have something up his sleeve for this match.”

“Yeah, but there’s a twist…a man that has nothing to do with beach, a man that just wants to get his hands around Wilson that will do anything in his power to avenge his screw job…the man from New York, Bo is in this match in a major twist.” Mark said, trying to hype this match up as he face Riley and awaits a respond.

“How is he going to do in this match? I don’t know, because if he’s the one to get thrown in the water then we might have to see the ambulance and Bo will probably get injured severely, or if matters gets worst…die”

“Well, we don’t want to see that.”

“That’s right…and just for that I know he’s going to fight his life off so he won get in that water, thus, I think he’s going to win.”

“I really think that LDP is the won that’s going to push Wilson to the water and he’ll get the win.”

“They all hate each other, so lets just get this match started…”

------------ Camera Switch --------

This is the beach scene…sunny day, kids playing, men barbecuing and females trying to get a tan…all of a sudden, from the left side of the beach, wearing blue shorts walking ahead is LDP…on the right side of the beach, wearing black shorts with a tank top is Wilson…the camera then moves towards the boardwalk and there’s a figure…wearing baggy army pants with Timbs on…he has no shirt on as he looks ahead swearing his ass off. Wilson and LDP both saw him and they being to laugh…

-------------- Camera Switch ------------

“What the hell is Bo wearing? This is the beach, not Central Park.” Mark said, trying to hold his composure of not laughing.

“That’s some funny shit…” Riley said, he’s not holding in, he’s laughing his ass off.”

--------------- Camera Switch ------------

Back to the beach Bo sees Wilson and LDP comfortable…he waves his hands in tiredness and begins to strip…he has shorts under his pants as he throws away his Timbs and pants…LDP and Wilson both shrugs as they move closer to each other…Wilson hands is balled up into a fist…once they get about 2 feet from each other Wilson swings like a pitcher and threw sand right on LDP’s eyes. LDP was temporarily blinded as he gets taken down with a spear. Wilson starts to throw right hands on LDP’s cheek with force. Bo is seen running pass the camera, he reaches towards LDP and Wilson and tackles Wilson right off of LDP. Bo is now on top of Wilson and he throws right hands right on Wilson’s cheek…after about 5 shots to the face, LDP gets up, dust the sand he has on his face, he looks towards the side and charges them…he tackles Bo right off and he starts punching Bo with right hands right on Bo’s cheek.

“That was a pretty good sequence to start off this match…I hope more interesting stuff happens.” Riley said, not being shown but heard for the people who are watching at home.

There’s a scene winding up to see this fight…they know who they are, and they heard about it on T.V., that’s why there’s more people than usual in the beach today. Wilson is on his stomach, searching through the sand for something…he grabs a sea shell and quickly goes behind LDP and smashes the sea shells right on the back of his head, knocking him out for a few seconds. Bo pushes LDP off of him but Wilson is on top of him with a handful of sand trying to put it in Bo’s mouth.

“Now that’s nasty.” Mark said…just like the rest of the audience, watching the fight.

The sand sprinkles all over Bo’s face but Wilson still clutches a handful in his hand…Bo then thrust his knee upward so that it made contact with Wilson’s beautiful people area. Wilson puts on a face of pain as the crowd that surrounds them goes ‘OOOHHHHH.’ Bo then pushes Wilson off…LDP wakes up and doesn’t waste time as he gets on top of Bo and starts choking him, wrapping his fingers around Bo’s neck and squeezing. Bo puts both his arm between the gap of LDP’s arms. Bo then, with force separated his arms outward, which caused LDP’s hand to lose the grip of the chokehold. Bo then uses his head and drove it right on LDP’s face. LDP jumps off of Bo’s body as he clutches his face in pain…meanwhile, Wilson gets up…he looks around the beach and spotted something…he starts running towards the right as people get out of the way. Bo gets up and sees Wilson running so he starts chasing him…LDP noticed that he was alone, so he gets up, looks around and sees Bo and Wilson running so he decided to run after them. The head shot from Bo cause LDP’s head to open up a bit…blood flows down his head and a little into his eyes.

“Why is Wilson running away? I thought he was a fighter?” Mark said in disgrace of seeing a professional and former heavy weight champion running like a bitch.

“He got something plan, I just know it.”

Wilson continues to run…picking up sand with his feet as Bo follows…

“Come here you cheatin bitch.” Screams Bo as he runs after him.

Wilson continues running but he flips the bird…a volleyball game is in process and Wilson sees the net, he runs right under the net and continues running. Bo sees the net in the last minute but ducks it just in the nick of time and he continues running. LDP, who has blood flowing in his eyes, doesn’t see the net as he gets clothesline down by the bottom of the net. The ‘Ooohhhh’ sound convinced Bo to stop and look back at LDP who is still on the sand, obviously shaken from the abuse he got from the net. Bo turns around and walks towards LDP…Bo helps him up and lifts him up so that his stomach is lying on Bo’s right shoulder and turns towards where the water is at, he exhales and decides to turn back and now he’s facing the net and that’s when LDP slides down Bo’s back…lands on his feet and pushes Bo towards the net, but Bo turned his body a bit, hits the net but propels from it, goes towards LDP and clothesline him down.

“What the hell? Bo uses the volley ball net as ropes to rebound and knock the unsuspected LDP down to the sand.” Mark said, surprised to see Bo use his head.

“All I have to say is…that was cool.”

Bo looks down and smiles when a flying object passes right by his head like a speeding bullet. Bo ducks in reaction and looks around for the perpetrator as sees another item flying to him. His quick reaction causes him to duck down as the item falls to the sand, he looks back to see the item being a beer can. He looks to where the direction of the beer came from and saw another beer coming towards his direction and sees Wilson just bending down, grabbing the beer from a cooler and throwing it to him. Bo gets into a defense mode trying to stay away from getting hit from them beers. He stumbles away and felt on his feet a hard stick…he quickly picks it up and stood up straight, swing the stick and carrying the stick like it’s a baseball…he sees a beer coming to him and he swings like he’s Soriano and hits the beer and causes it to blow up.

“Yeah, keep bring that shit.” Screams Bo swinging the stick wildly around his shoulder.

Then Bo gets popped right upside his head…not knowing where LDP is at he search the area around him and sees a football lying on the sand…Bo looks up and to the side and sees LDP smiling at him.

“That’s all Miami people do…play football and get drunk, then sleep with the neighbors dog and the principle’s wife and daughter at the same time and think shit is sweet.” Riley said with a disgusted tone.

“Wilson is from Miami…”

“But Wilson is a child prodigy, an outcast in his time…a certified genius, hence he cannot be in the same category as these dumb jocks.”

Bo is stuck in the middle…on his right is Wilson with them damn beers…on his left is LDP and who knows what he has up his sleeves.

“Mr.…Mr.. Look at all the little crabs I have.” A little kid, no more then 10 years old with a bucket of sea crabs goes towards Wilson and said that. Wilson looks down, still with beer in hand, waiting and wanting for someone to make a move.

“Get away from me kid…don’t you see that I’m busy.”

“Mister, all I see is you carrying the can like if it was a football.”

Wilson looks down at the bucket of the still living little sea crabs and was amazed of what he can do…he let his guard down and that’s when Bo and LDP sprint to him…Bo being followed by LDP and Wilson quickly looks up…he throws the can but it went wide on Bo’s body about 3 feet. Wilson don’t know what to do as they get closer and closer to him…the little boy looks up at Wilson with a concern look on his face, still clutching the bucket filled with little sea crabs. They are getting more closer and that’s when a light bulb shine right over Wilson’s head…he grabs the bucket of crabs.

“Hey” screams the little boy in anger mixed with shock.

Bo is about 2 feet away from getting his hands around Wilson’s neck when Wilson throws the bucket filled with little sea crabs.

“Oh shit.” Screams Bo in shock with his eyes opened.

And he sees all them crabs flying right to him…he tries to block his face and get down but he still gets caught with the crabs while other crabs still fly and they catch LDP right on his face.

“AH Fuck…shit…fuck…get these things off of my fuckin face…fuck” Screams Bo in pain as one hangs from his left ear, another one from his nostril and another one from his lower lip.

“Why does this shit always have to happen to me?” Says LDP in pain as he one by one taking around 10 sea crabs off his face, pinching him, leaving him red spots.

This gave the opportunity for Wilson to look for a weapon as he softly pushes the little boy out of the way…he sees a girl who just recently got out of the beach and she has her towel covering her from chest to mid thigh. Wilson goes to her and yanks the towel off her body.

“Hey…” Screams the girl as she covers her private parts. “Asshole.”

Wilson just went on towards the two men…but when he heard the word asshole, he turns back and said… “Fuc…” His words were cut short as the girl was, and still is naked…breast she’s trying to cover, but her hands are too little, she’s trying to cover her private area but you can tell that she has a pretty vagina. Wilson just stares at her, smile on his face. Bo runs to him and is about to hit Wilson when he also sees the girl and was mumbling…

“Humana, humana, humana, humana…woo, woo, woo…holla.”

The girl got tired of all the people looking at her as she places her hands on her hips, tilts her head to the side a bit, raises one eye brow letting her wet hair come down to the front part of her shoulder.

“I love her…” Riley said, mesmerize by the beauty of her face and her exposed body.

“I’m married…I love my wife…I’m married…I love my wife…I have a baby.” Mark said, closing his eyes so he wouldn’t look at the hot, of course Hispanic girl.

LDP finally got all them damn crabs off of him and started running after them…when he was about to hit them when he too saw that gorgeous girl and said. “Oh…my…GOD.”

The girl then flips them the bird and started walking away…they all started screaming to get her attention…Wilson is heard saying:

“I hate to see you leave…but I love watching you go.”

“Mira mami…ven aqui…I want to be your papi chulo can’t you see.” Bo said, forgetting that he’s married.

“Please don’t go…please stay with me tonight…” LDP is the only one that had to be romantic as the girl is seen walking away…BUTT cheeks jiggling the jell-o.

They all watch her leave, and when she reached her destination they all turn to each other…nodding and agreeing with smiles on their faces. Then with a snap reaction…Wilson flicks the towel towards Bo and it struck him right around the neck.

“Fuck.” Screams Bo in pain.

LDP goes after him and Wilson flicks the towel again and this time Wilson aimed for a not so nice area as Wilson clutched his balls and go down in pain. The Evil Genius then throws the towel at Bo’s face. The towel wrapped around his face and Bo started panicking as if he was wrapped around with plastic. After about 5 seconds of struggling with the towel, he manages to get a grasp of it and throws it on the sand. He looks up and noticed Wilson looking at him…Wilson then shakes his head in pity because he never saw someone so stupid as him. Bo looks behind him and sees LDP on the sand and also shaking his head in pity. While Bo and LDP look at each other, Wilson runs…when Bo looks up he starts chasing and about 5 seconds later LDP gets up and start chasing as well.

“And the chase is on again…can this match lead to something spectacular?”

“Hey, I already like this match for all the wrong and right reason…it has mind games and naked women…it has wrestling and naked women…it also has a lot of running and naked women running…this is just a perfect day. All I’m saying is thank god the editing room didn’t edit anything because this match, unedited is the best seen I’ve ever seen.” Riley said, almost tearing for the fact that he saw a naked girl.

Bo is somehow catching up towards Wilson as they step all over sand faces and sand castle and little kids running to their mother’s and fathers in anger and disappointment. Wilson then stops right in front of a sand White House. Quickly turn around, wait for about 2 seconds till Bo gets to him…Bo is showing his arm displaying that he’s going for a clothesline but that didn’t happen as Wilson takes him up and over and slams him with a quick Powerslam right on the white house made of sand. There’s a lot of sand sculptures around the area…Wilson gets up, pretty happy to do what he just done but forgot that LDP was right behind Bo and when Wilson turns around he sees LDP and quickly gets kicked in the gut causing him to double over…LDP pulls him between his legs in a standing head scissor position, wraps his arms around his waist and lifts him up…takes a few steps back towards a sand castle that looks like an eagle…and drops Wilson’s head right on it with a Piledriver. The body of Wilson is stuck up like the number ‘1’. LDP gets up while still holding Wilson up in that position…he quickly takes a few steps back, runs forwards and spears Wilson right out of the sand castle.

“PILEDRIVER THROUGH THE CASTLE…AND…GORE, GORE, GORE, GORE!”

“Shut up Mark…you sound annoying.”

Bo stumbles up and looks at the fallen Wilson whose body is covered with sand. LDP looks up and looks at Bo…Bo looks at LDP, they stare at each other for a few seconds…not saying a word and that’s when the wind picked up a little…sand blowing on their faces but none of them blinking. LDP slowly gets up and they stand about 7 feet away from each other and Bo runs away…LDP chases him. Wilson dusted himself off from the sand and looks up…he sees them running again and exhales, not wanting to get up…but he does so and stumbles for a few seconds trying to get his composure again.

“Now where they’re going…they’re running too much and I’m getting tired of that.” Riley said…the people at home are noticing the tone in his voice of being tired of something.

----------------- Camera Switch --------------

Bo continues running…he looks down and sees a Frisbee…he picks it up and throws it at LDP and watches it go…LDP, who’s from Miami knows what to do with a Frisbee and easily catches it…Bo opens his eyes is shock as LDP smiles in a mocking way. LDP then winds up and throws the Frisbee at Bo with extra speed…Bo wasn’t ready for it as he catches him right on his throat…Bo stumbles back as he starts to choke, he makes his way up the stairs and stops right in front of a window of a restaurant. LDP slowly goes up the stairs and then dashes towards Bo and SPEARS Bo right through the window.

“SPEAR…SPEAR…SPEAR…SPEAR…”

“I’ve always wanted to know…what is the difference between a spear and the gore?” Riley asked, just wanted to see what Mark would say because he thinks he knows the answer.

“Different names ass wipe.”

Bo hits a table first then goes down to the floor as people scattered away from the scene…LDP is on top of him as he goes down as well. LDP gets up first and grabs someone’s plate, waits for Bo to get up and then smashes the plate right on top of Bo’s head causing the perfect one to start bleeding. LDP then sees a bottle of wine and grabs it…he’s about to smash it on Bo’s head when the perfect one looks up and tackles him down. They land on a table and the table collapses as they begin to swing away and that’s when Wilson steps through the broken window…mother clutches their children in fear as guys cheer the fight to go on. Wilson look towards the side and noticed that the tables aren’t bolted in to the floor, he grabs a table, picks it up, walks to them and throws the table right on top of them…more on Bo then LDP since Bo was on top of LDP. Bo rolls over to expose LDP who is hurt…Wilson lifts LDP up, goes behind him and applies a full nelson and strokes him down through the table…face first.

“Oh my god…I think he killed LDP with that move…’the Platinum Nightmare’ right through the tables…no…damn him to hell.”

“Fuck that…that shit was hot.”

Bo is up now and just witnesses what just happen…Bo quietly grabs a chair and smashes the chair right on Wilson’s back…knocking him down and practically out. Bo looks across the restaurant and sees a pier there. He then looks down and helps Wilson up…he picks him up so that Wilson’s stomach is on Bo’s shoulder…Bo starts to walk towards that direction when and hand grabs Bo’s ankle which caused Bo to lose his balance and drop Wilson. LDP’s face is bloody up as he looks up and Bo looks down and that’s when Wilson wakes up…he grabs the bottle of wine that was lying around there and smashes that bottle right on Bo’s head. The glass shattered as Bo turns around…he looks at Wilson and then falls right into another table and breaks that one as well.

Wilson now grabs Bo’s arm and starts pulling him towards the direction of the pier where he sees a few people fishing. Bo wakes up at this time but is unable to move as Wilson goes through the doors and to the outside…he puts Bo down to his feet and whips him hard towards the end of the pier…the end of the pier is about 4 feet high and Wilson thought that Bo will just go over that hurdle, but instead Bo crashes on it and breaks it…Bo then stumbles down and grabs the edges of the pier…he looks down and sees the broken pieces of the wood falling into the dark water as fear runs through his eyes.

“Oh my god…I never saw Bo scared before…this is the first time that I actually see him nervous.” Mark comment…surprise to see the fear in Bo’s eyes.

Wilson smiles…as he slowly walks towards him…he reaches him and slowly steps on Bo’s fingers. Bo screams…more in fear then in pain, all of a sudden Wilson falls back. Bo doesn’t know what’s going on as he pulls himself up and sees Wilson’s lip being hooked by the hook of the fishing pole and LDP holding the pole.

“Oh my god…he’s acting like he’s fishing and he just caught a big fish to fried…”

“Ok, I may not be the biggest fan of LDP, but I have to admit that that was cool.”

Bo pulls himself up and lies on the pier, breathing hard as LDP walks towards Wilson…he helps Wilson up and places him in a front facelock, he grabs both arms of Wilson and then comes down hitting a variation of Double Arm DDT which he calls the Longdogger Clogger…and now they are both down because LDP is tired and Wilson is knocked the fuck out. Bo is up and he walks towards LDP who is slowly getting up…LDP doesn’t see him as Bo quietly goes behind him. LDP gets up and looks for Bo by the edge of the pier and doesn’t see him that’s when Bo grabs him by the arm, twirls him around, kicks him in the gut causing him to bend over…Bo then applies a ¾ headlock and drops him down with the perfect pain…

“Bo just pained him…and LDP is out, again.”

Bo then looks down at Wilson, all the hatred that he feels towards him is coming to his head right now as he forgets about LDP and goes to Wilson…he wants to throw Wilson to the sea as he lifts him up to his feet. He picks him up and once again puts him by his shoulder and starts to walk towards the pier. Wilson then wakes up and sees what’s about to happen to him and starts to Elbow Bo down. They are about 5 feet away from the edge of the pier and that’s when Bo let Wilson go…they start to hit each other with right hands but they are both tired as their swings look slow and without power…then they grab each other and starts to push and pull one another closer to the pier and that’s when LDP gets up…he sees what’s going on and starts running towards them…

“AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.” Screams LDP, wanting to push both Bo and Wilson over the edge. Wilson and Bo looks to the side, see this man coming to him with full force and that’s when they separate from one another…LDP tries to stop at the last minute but he goes over the edge and down to the water…splash.

“Who won the match?” Riley asked in shock.

Hanging from opposite sides of the pier are Chris Wilson and Perfect Bo. Bo looks on at Wilson, fuming in anger as they pull each other up.

"Oh dear! LDP just tumbled over the edge!" a concerned Stevens shouts.

"So it's Bo and Wilson? Sweet!" retorts Riley.

Wilson is at his feet first and strikes Bo, but Bo blocks and kicks Wilson in the gut, applying a 3/4 nelson facelock. But Wilson shoves Bo away... to the edge of the pier! Bo tumbles over and begins to tip... barely keeping his balance as he wobbles around. Wilson shakes his head and rushes for Bo... but the Perfect one sidesteps, kicks Wilson in the stomach, applies the 3/4 nelson facelock and BAM!!! Wilson goes down to the Perfect Pain on the wooden pier.

"There's the Perfect Pain!" hypes the former champ.

Bo chokes on a bit of his saliva as he rises off the pier. Turning back to face Wilson, he begins to roll the ICTV champion over the pier...pushing him off and the M7 leader falls...

...

still falling...

....

What you think he's done falling yet, bitch?

Ok you're right

Wilson grabs onto Bo's leg and pulls the balding black man over the edge! Bo claws and scratches and suddenly grips onto the edge of the pier with Wilson hanging onto his shorts and ankles. Bo looks down at Wilson as the M7 leader claws in.

"You been on my dick... son."

...and the seams in the shorts tear open! Wilson falls down, flailing his arms and legs about while the only noise heard is the rippling waves of the ocean. Bo hangs from the dock, his member slightly exposed.

"My gawd, that's the biggest cock I ever saw!" Do you really need to guess who said that?

Bo turns himself to the dock so it's only his ass shown as the fans gasp in shock.

"Bo just defeated Wilson to become the ICTV champion... but at a price no doubt!"

"If that's a price then I..." Riley starts but Stevens promptly cuts him off.

"None of that!"

In the ring, as Bo's ass is exposed on the SmarkTron... Funyon announces who is the winner.

"Ladies and Gentleman... your winner by stripfall... I mean Splash! And the NEW SWF ICTV Champion.... PERFECT BO!!!"

The audiences boo as the live feed on the SmarkTron overtakes the screen. Bo who is now covered with a title raises his arms as many of the crowd start clapping for him, but most boo the Perfect One as Smarkdown goes off the air.

September 21, 2002

Summary

- Who wrote that amazing intro to the show?? Sign that man to a contract…get him in here, because he is the shit!

SINGLES MATCH

Chris Raynor vs. Ced Ordonez

- Raynor is a mean, mean man. What happened to CHRIS SMASH?!? We liked that better. Well, after hitting Acid Rayn, Raynor hits another one for fun…and then pins and defeats Mr. Ordonez…aka…Mr. Cool Name.

- Annie admits that she is now taking steroids that she got from Strangler, and she’s getting stronger by the second. Oh, and here’s a surprise…a heel punks out Hardy! I know…wow! All and all, Annie hypes her match with Renegade later and does some character devel.

NON-TITLE SINGLES MATCH

Tod deKindes vs. Danny Williams

- Williams lets this opportunity slip by as he falls to the US champion, Tod deKindes. I’m sure he’ll get another opportunity for singles gold soon.

- Ooooo! Ooooo! It’s “A Few Moments with Tom Flesher”! I’m so excited! Well, he did reference Z by grabbing his crotch, so anything with a crotch grab has to be quality, right? Well, Flesher rags on everyone, but is sure to give the heels their props as he vows to make Z tap tonight.

NO-DQ SINGLES MATCH

Annie Eclectic vs. Renegade

- After a very brutal match that went back and forth, Renegade tops his former, sexy, lesbian, riod-freak friend with the Renebreak.

LIGHT-HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH

- And after all that big talk about making Z tap, Flesher beats Zenon with a school boy! A SCHOOL BOY! Oh, he did have his feet up on the ropes, so….cheating fucker.

TAG TEAM MATCH

El Luchadore Magnifico & Edwin MacPhisto vs. Sacred & Divefire

- That crazy Aussie…sacrificing his own body to give just enough interference for Divefire to hit the Burn Out and put Edwin down for the 1…2…3! CC wins! BOOYAH!

TRIPLE THREAT MIAMI MAYHEM MATCH FOR THE ICTV TITLE

- Hmmmm…more cock action here as Bo shows his off…while Wilson falls into the Atlantic Ocean…giving Perfect Bo the win and the ICTV Championship!

SWF Storm (September 20, 2002)

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