Fantasy Feds(realistic feds, with a twist)

[King Cucaracha 0]

I noticed that no-one was really doing their own full 'fed' on here, so what the hell I'm gonna. It may not be great, but I think it'd be cool to do. So, please read on and I hope you enjoy.

 

***the background***

After the recent events in the WWE and the continued roster swapping of certain wrestlers, WWE owner Vince McMahon has called for a re-draft. Both Eric Bischoff and Stephanie McMahon will be allowed to draft half the roster (34 men and 6 females) and once drafted, the wrestlers will need permission from the 'board of directors' to switch companies.

Meanwhile, it seems Vince may have some serious competition ahead. NWA:TNA owner Jerry Jarrett has recently had a cash windfall after his company's(J Sports & Entertainment) lawsuit against Len Sabal, Jay Hassman, BNP Conculting and K-4 was successful. To celebrate this, he has signed a deal with ROH to 'merge' the two companies together. The combined companies have signed some of the hottest free talent in wrestling, and the two have now decided to emulate WWE and split the group into two 'brands' due to it's excessive roster. Half the talent will work for ROH and it's new weekly Thursday night show, the other half on NWA:TNA which has just secured a weekly Monday night show.

In a major development though, over the weeks prior to the draft shows, it had emerged that Vince and Jerry have a verbal deal to make this a freindly promotional war, and that talent swapping could occur if any of the four 'brands' needed new blood.

The special draft shows were both eagerly anticipated, with great action expected too...

(If only real life could be this great for us wrestling fans huh?)

 

***WWE RAW (1 AND A HALF HOUR) DRAFT SPECIAL***

Live from Pittsburgh PA

JR-Hello everyone, and welcome to an historic night in WWE history. A few months back, the WWE split it's roster for the first time. Tonight after invasions and brand jumping, caused by the chaos of the GMs hirings, we finally get some stability with the re-draft and new fixed contracts.

King-And JR, besides that we've got some action tonight...oh boy, Trish Stratus vs Stacy Keibler, Paddle On A Pole Match! I can't wait!

'No Chance In Hell' begins to play and Vince McMahon struts out with a smug look on his face. The crowd give him a mixed reaction, not knowing whever to boo or cheer him. He gets into the ring and grabs a microphone from the timekeeper before turning to the crowd.

Vince-Well, so it's come to this. Tonight's events have been forced upon me by Eric Bischoff and my daughter Stephanie's constant one-upsmanship tactics. The war between them and the brands has gotten more feirce until I had to step in. People were swapping brands, making a mockery of the draft process. Brock Lesnar, our beloved Undisputed Champion stayed away from Raw, forcing Eric Bischoff to award the old WCW Title belt to HHH. And to top it all Jamal, Rosey, Billy Chuck, Steph and Eric all got involved in something known as 'promotional self-destruction'. You see, by fighting each other like they did, they were destroying their brands. Which is why I returned to put a stop to it. From now on, no invasions, no brand swapping, no warfare, without mine and the boards say so!

King-Vince is laying down the law tonight JR

Vince-Tonight, enforced contracts will be signed by every WWE superstar promising not to swap brands without verbal and written notice to the board. But tonight, it has come to my attention that Jerry Jarrett is trying to emulate me. Later on tonight, his company will also split in two, leaving us with four warring brands under two company banners. People have asked me, am I worried about this? Am I worried about the NWA:TNA? Am I worried about Ring Of Honour? Do I look worried? Hell no I don't You see, Jerry Jarrett is just...an amatuer. He doesn't have the knowledge of this game to play it right. As time goes on, his two brands will crash and burn, as my two brands go from strength to strength. And that is a McMahon gaurantee. That's enough about the NWA and ROH, it's time for the WWE! So now, without further ado, step up to the podium, Stephanie McMahon and Eric Bischoff!

King-JR, you heard Vince. ROH and NWA:TNA will crash and burn, that's a McMahon guarantee. And you know what you can do with a McMahon guarantee, and that's take it to the bank!

JR-I hate to say it King, but I think Vince is underestimating Jerry Jarrett! Anyway, Stephanie's out here now, I guess Vince is gonna conduct a coin toss or something

Stephanie and Vince stand at the podium as 'Back in Black' plays and Eric Bischoff walks out blowing kisses to the dis-approving fans. He stands the other side of Vince at the podium on the stage, as Vince checks the microphone attached to it is on.

Vince-Thank you. Well seeing as we need to conduct ourselves now in the proper way, in the interest of fairness, I will now conduct a coin toss, with the winner getting first pick, so Stephanie, you call...

Stephanie calls heads as Vince flicks the coin. It lands and all three look down at it.

Vince-Well, it is tails, so Eric Raw will get first pick this time. Whenver you're ready, you may start the draft off.

Vince and Stephanie walk off as Bischoff steps up to the podium.

Bischoff-Wait Steph, where are you going. Don't you want to hear this? You'll be very interested in this. I'll even let you in on a tactic of mine. You see, I belive in the philosophy of 'if it isn't broke, don't fix it' so I think I'll go for...Triple H as my No1 pick!

Stephanie-Well Eric, move aside, because you see I also have a philosophy. I belive in the philosophy of kicking your fat ass out of the WWE! So my No 1 pick, will be the none over than The Rock!!!

The crowd pop and Stephanie leaves as Eric regains his composure and steps back up to the mic.

Bischoff-You know what Steph, that's fine. I don't need The Rock. I don't need him, because my second pick, is going to be the man who left Raw for Smackdown last month, and that man is...The Undertaker! Thank you!

Bischoff leaves as well as the crowd go wild.

 

***commercial break***

 

Jamie Noble w/Nidia vs Jeff Hardy

Back from the break, Jamie Noble and Nidia walk to the ring kissing each other all the way.

Fink-'The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Nidia, Jamie Noble!'

Jamie holds up the middle rope as Nidia gets into the ring and starts flirting with referee Brian Hebner.

JR-Well there's the former Crusierweight Champion Jamie Noble....of course all the champions have been stripped of their belts because of this re-draft, so Jamie is now an ex-champion.

King-Oh JR, look at Nidia! It's times like this I wish we were still at ringside, but I still can't get my mind off of that paddle on a pole match JR...oh there's gonna be some spanking in the ring tonight JR!

Suddenly the lights dim and Jeff Hardy's music plays as he runs out onto the stage with the aluminous paint on his arm and face.

Fink-'And his opponent, from Cameron, North Carolina, weighing 211lbs, Jeff Hardy!'

He runs down the ramp and slides into the ring, but as he gets on the turnbuckle Nidia pulls him down and kisses him passionately. Jeff shoves her away, so Nidia tries again, Jeff shoves her down on her ass this time, but Nidia gets up and slaps Jeff right around the cheek! Nidia starts to talk trash(no pun intended) with Jeff, when suddenly 'Lovefurypassionenergy' by Boy Hits Car plays and Lita stpes out from behind the curtains to a thunderous ovation. She quickly runs down, slides into the ring and spears down Nidia! The two start scraping until Noble pulls Lita off. Lita forearms Noble and Jeff begins to punch away at him as Lita and Jeff begin to dominate over Nidia and Noble. Noble and Nidia get whipped to the ropes, and Lita dropkicks Nidia at the same time as Jeff dropkicks Noble, and both the trailer parkers go flying to the outside! Lita and Jeff high five each other before Jeff runs to the ropes and planchas out onto Noble! Jeff quickly gets up and slides in and across the ring to the outside again, runs across the barricade and catches the recovering Noble with a clothesline. Jeff throws Noble back in and springboards from the apron catching Noble in a headscissors takeover. Noble staggers up as Jeff kicks him in the gut and punches him a couple of times. Jeff whips Noble across the ring, but Noble reverses it and Nidia catches Jeff's leg against the ropes, tripping him up. Lita gets onto the apron trying to tell Hebner what happened, allowing Noble to blatantly boot Jeff hard and low sending him crumpled to the mat holding his groin. Noble raises his arms as the crowd start to boo him and chant 'Trailer Trash...Trailer Trash...Trailer Trash' at Nidia. Noble picks Jeff up and snap suplexs him into a position where he can go to the top. Noble climbs up to the top and dives off, landing on Jeff with a Senton Drop...1...2..Jeff gets a shoulder up. Noble waits for Jeff to get up and swinging neckbreakers him...1...2.Jeff quickly kicks out. The crowd try to will Jeff on as Noble places his throat across the middle rope before enticing Lita onto the apron, distracting the ref. Nidia takes advantage and starts to choke Jeff on the rope and slaps him as Noble comes back over. Noble hoists the limp Jeff onto his shoulders and goes for the DVD, but Jeff flips out of it as Noble falls, runs to the ropes but gets caught with a spinebuster...1...2...no. Noble starts to stomp on Jeff, all the time jawing with Lita. Noble again picks Jeff up, whips him across the ring and tries to go for a tilt-a-whirl move, but Jeff flips around and armdrags him over towards the corner. Noble pulls himself up as Jeff runs at him, but Noble quickly steps forward grabbing Jeff and dropping him face first across the turnbuckle...1...2...thr...Jeff gets a foot onto the ropes.

JR-No, only two. Man that was close!

Noble argues with the ref as Nidia again goes to slap Jeff, but Lita grabs the arm of Nidia as she swings and slaps her! Noble starts stomping on Jeff, but gets distracted by Nidia and Lita scrapping on the outside. As he turns around Jeff is up, and hits him with a DDT. Jeff starts to punch away at Noble before whipping him to the ropes and flapjacking him. Noble swings at Jeff, but Jeff ducks and bulldogs Noble. The crowd cheer him on as he grabs Noble's legs and legdrops him across the groin before going to the top rope and hitting Noble with a missile dropkick. Nidia throws Lita into the barriers as Jeff ducks a clothesline and hits the Twist Of Fate...1...2...Nidia puts Noble's foot on the rope!

JR-Damn it! Jeff had the match won but Nidia put Noble's foot on the ropes

King-I told you she was a reliable asset at ringsi...wait a minute, Jeff's chasing her!

Jeff starts to chase Nidia around the ring, and as she turns a corner Lita clothelines her down and the two start brawling again. Jeff rolls back into the ring and goes for a clothesline on Noble, but he ducks and rolls Jeff up pulling the tights as he does...1...2...no! Noble puts Jeff in the powerbomb/piledriver postition and hoists him up, but Jeff counters with a hurricanrana! Jeff quickly goes to the top rope and calls for the Swanton, but as he dives off Noble moves and Jeff crashes down hard back first. Noble catches Jeff getting up with a kick to the gut and goes for the Tiger Bomb, but Jeff rolls through into a sunset flip...1...2...no, only two again. Jeff and Noble exchange punches, but Noble grabs Jeff's arm in the middle of the brawl and whips him to the corner. Jeff though runs up to the top rope and propells himself off hitting Noble in the head with the Whisper In The Wind. The groggy Noble gets up and Jeff hits him with the Twist Of Fate and goes to the top rope, but suddenly Nidia pushes Jeff off the rope and sends him throat first across the rope, as Noble gets up, and Jeff then staggers backwards into Noble, Noble truns him around and hits the Tiger Bomb...1...2...Lita tries to make a save but Nidia grabs her..3! Noble gets up as Lita gets into the ring and clotheslines her down.

JR-Oh God! That son of a bitch! He has already won the match and now he clotheslines Lita!

Nidia stomps on Lita and the two work away at Lita, but Jeff gets up and starts to punch away on Noble. Nidia flees the ring and Jeff gest rid of Noble as the Hardyz' music plays and Matt Hardy runs to the ring. Noble and Nidia walk up the ramp as Matt starts to pose, before checking on Lita and shaking a bemused Jeff Hardy's hand and embracing his brother.

King-Wait JR, does this mean the Hardyz are back together?

JR-I guess so. It certainly looks like it to me.

Winner:Jamie Noble by pinfall

 

Backstage Stephanie McMahon is looking through the wrestler profiles when suddenly Kurt Angle barges in and puts his hands on Steph's desk.

Angle-Stephanie, I just have one question for you...what the hell is wrong with you!?! The Rock...as your number one pick. You know better than anyone that I'm the best in this business. You know damn well that I was the best wrestler on Smackdown before all of this. And you pick 'The Rock', 'The Brama Bull', 'The People's Champion'...big freakin' deal! I'm an olympic gold medalist for crying out loud!

Stephanie-Well Kurt, you know I was debating over who to draft number two for Smackdown, but your passionate speech has helped me decide. You see, you're right I do know you. I was the one who helped you win the HV Title at No Mercy 2000 remember. So my number two pick is now officially...Kurt Angle

Angle-Whoooo! Thank you Stephanie, you will not regret this, I promise you you will not regret this..Whooo!

JR-Well Kurt seems pretty happy. And now we know that Raw has Triple H and The Undertaker so far, and Smackdown has Kurt Angle and The Rock. And well here comes our boss with his third pick

Bischoff-Well as I said earlier, 'If it isn't broke, don't fix it.' And Raw wasn't broke, oh no. So I'm gonna draft another big Raw superstar...So I think my draft pick number three, will be R...V...D!

King-Oh boy, Eric Bischoff has just signed up Rob..Van..Dam to Raw! Woah, wait a second.

Bischoff walks behind the curtain but Stephanie McMahon barges past him and walks up to the podium.

Stephanie-Well Eric, I think now I'll take a page out of your book by signing up a Smackdown star I stole from Raw by the name of Chris Benoit!

Hearing this, Bischoff wlaks back out and steps up to the podium.

Bischoff-Then my number 4 pick will be a Raw guy who I stole from Smackdown, and that man is 'Y2J' Chris Jericho

Stephanie-OK then, I pick 'Hollywood'...Hulk...Hogan!!!

Bischoff-Big deal Stephanie. His time has been and gone. My pick for number 5 is the 'Big Red Machine' Kane!

Stephanie-Since we're quick firing now, I'm going to pick the man who we've both somehow forgotten up until now, and that man is my star steal from you, and that man is Brock Lesnar!!!

 

Bischoff storms off the stage as Stephanie begins to laugh hysterically. The 5 picks are shown on the titantron as we go backstage to see the four Un-Americans sitting around a table.

Storm-Yes, it wouldn't surprise me one bit if we were split up. The old adage, united we stand divided we fall. These Americans will try to do to us, what they do to every country that threatens them. Divide and conquer. They'll take two of us away from the other two, cause a rift and watch us implode. Well my freinds that will not happen. Even if we are divided, we will stand tall and fight for every Un-American around the world!

The Un-Americans start to murmur in agreement when suddenly The Rock sneaks up behind Lance Storm and pulls his chair from underneath him, causing him to land ass first on the concrete

Rock-WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH...WOAH! You can't sit on this, look at this label on the bottom...made in America. The same goes for this table

Rock tips the table over sending the other Un-Americans scattering away and their drinks flying to the floor.

Rock-Never fear Lance, there is something American that The Rock will gladly give you...his fist!

The Rock starts to punch at Storm as the other Un-Americans start to attack Rock. The 4 on 1 attack continues until Booker T and Goldust run to the room and start to fight with Test, Regal and Christian. The four Un-Americans run off from the chair wielding Booker T as Goldust checks on The Rock.

JR-All hell was breaking loose backstage there, The Rock got out numbered but Booker and Goldust saved him and sent those damned Un-Americans running like scolded dogs!

King-Rock was proving a point back there for America but the numbers game got to him. Believe me though, there'll be hell to pay for the Un-Americans from The Rock!

 

***commercial break***

 

Backstage Chris Nowinski, Crash, D-Lo Brown and Mike Awesome are standing around talking backstage about the draft when Crash decides to change the topic of conversation.

Crash-Hey Chris, your match is up in a minute, shouldn't you go warm up or something?

Nowinski-Crash, I'm a student of the game, I'm a Harvard graduate. I don't need to tra...

Nowinski stops in his tracks as Molly and Victoria walk past. He smiles and Molly smiles back before walking off with Victoria[/color]

Nowinski-Yeah, she wants me! Not gonna be a virgin for long guys.

Nowinski walks off as the three guys start to laugh behind him. They stop as he turns around, but as he goes out behind the curtain they start laughing again[/color]

 

Rey Mysterio vs Christopher Nowinski

Chris Nowinski's music plays and he cockily walks down to the ring and gets into the ring. He grabs the microphone from The Fink and looks out at the crowd. He goes to speak but is interrupted by the sound of Rey Mysterio's music playing. The sparks fly and Rey leaps up on the stage as the crowd cheer wildly for Mysterio. He high fives the fans on his way to the ring before sliding in and quickly getting the match underway with punches to the Harvard Graduate's jaw. Mysterio pulls his shirt from out of his pants and throws it into the crowd, but turns around into a clothesline by Nowinski. Nowinski powerslams Rey and then snap suplexs him before getting cocky with the crowd. Rey holds his back as Nowinski picks him up, whips him to the ropes and hits him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Sensing his control over Rey, Nowinski starts strutting around but as he turns around, Rey has moved. Nowinski looks around but Rey is on the apron behind him. Nowinski looks confused as Rey springboards in behind him over his head and headscissors him across the ring. A dazed Nowinski runs at him but Rey drop-toe-holds him onto the middle rope. Rey backs up as the crowd go wild, he runs in and hits the 619! Nowinski staggers around as Rey stands on the apron and springboards in...and hits the West Coast Pop!...1...2...3! Rey Mysterio beats Nowinski in a matter of minutes! Rey walks up the ramp as Nowinski goes mad in the ring.

Winner:Rey Mysterio by pinfall

JR-The Harvard Graduate just got beat in under minutes by Rey Mysterio! Can you believe that King?

King-Well I know Chris Nowinski can't. I think seeing Molly must have put off Nowinski!

JR-Well that's what lust can do to you

King-Speaking of what lust can do to you, I wonder what lust will do to me during Stacy vs Trish....Paddle On A Pole Match!!!

Nowinski walks up the ramp as Raw GM Eric Bischoff walks out past him.

Bischoff-Alright, Stephanie, you want to play games with me? You want to pick Lesnar. Well my number 6 pick is none other than Edge!

JR-WOW, Bischoff has just brought Edge from Smackdown to Raw!

On the titantron above Bischoff, Stephanie McMahon appears in her office

Stephanie-Eric, whoever you choose, I will make Smackdown better than Raw could ever be. You want to choose Edge? Fine. I pick Eddie Guerrerofor Smackdown. Go ahead Eric...number 7 is...

Bischoff-Oh you want number 7? I'll give you number 7. I give you The Big Show!

Stephanie-Well now I pick Rikishi! Number 8 Eric?

Bischoff-Ric Flair!!!

Stephanie-Nice...very nice. Not as nice as Rey Mysterio though. So who's number 9?

Bischoff-Oh I see what you're doing. Yeah, yeah well Stephanie, I see what you're doing. You're trying to rush me into bad picks. Well Steph, you don't call the shots...I do!

Stephanie-Well OK Eric, that's fine with me!

JR-Well King, I'm worried because Stephanie is playing this very cool. Bischoff is under pressure and is getting flustered here, and that means bad things maybe for Raw

King-I agree JR, but of course Stephanie is a McMahon. But next up is a good thing for Raw...THE PADDLE ON A POLE MATCH...WHOO HOO

JR-And King, I've just heard that tonight's main event is gonna be three of The Un-Americans against Booker T, Goldust and The Rock! What a main event!

***A WWE Live 'The Moments Are Waiting' movie plays***

 

Backstage Eric Bischoff is backstage with Stacy and Trish. We see Stacy open up her robe and giving Eric a nice view. She walks off as Trish whispers something to her on the way out.

Bischoff-Right, now Trish lets see what you've got...come on, I need to see if your underwear is...suitable. Here if you're nervous I'll take the robe off for you...

Bischoff moves in on Trish but Trish slaps him before he can touch her robe and walks off. Bischoff holds his face and gets an angry look on his face

 

Trish Stratus vs Stacy Keibler Paddle On A Pole Match

Fink-'Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a Paddle On A Pole Match! The only way to win is to spank your opponent with the paddle! Introducing first, Stacy Keibler!

'Legs' by Kid Rock plays and Stacy Keibler walks out to a huge reception from the crowd. She struts down and throws her leg over the middle rope before seductively getting into the ring. Stacy looks up at the paddle before taking off her robe to reveal a black bra and thong as the crowd go wild. Trish's music interrupts Stacy though and Trish walks down the ring, throws her hat into the crowd and removes her robe showing her red bra and panties.

King-Ohhh! JR I love Raw! Let's get spanking!

Trish gets in and spears Stacy down as the two start to roll about on the mat pulling at each others hair. Trish pulls Stacy up and whips her to the corner. Trish runs in but Stacy pulls legs up and starts to choke Trish. Trish falls back as Stacy goes to the middle rope and hits Trish with a double axehandle before going to the opposite corner and reaching for the paddle. Stacy is close, but Trish sticks her head between Stacy's legs(for a big pop from the crowd) and powerbombs her. Stacy staggers up and Trish hits her with the StratusFaction. Stacy is down as Trish starts to spank her as the crowd cheer with each spank. Trish then goes up for the paddle when Eric Bischoff appears on the stage.

Bischoff-Hey. Hey! Trish Stratus. What's the deal with you slapping me back there huh? Don't you know who I am...I'm Eric Bischoff damn it. And tell the truth, I'm sick to death of you. You're just a tease! Yeah that's right. And to tell the truth again, I hate it! Well Trish, from now on I'm going to make your life a living hell until you prove to me you're willing to be a model employee, whever that takes months...days...or even just...3 minutes!

JR-What the hell...wait, from the crowd, it's Jamal and Rosey!!!

Jamal and Rosey get in and Jamal imediately powerbombs Trish off the middle rope as Eric Bischoff watches on from the ramp. Rosey throws Trish up in the air and as she comes down she gets hit with an hellacious samoan drop! Jamal goes to the top rope as Rosey drags Trish nearer. Jamal throws the paddle down and dives off splashing Trish!

King-Oh my god, the puppies! They just squashed the puppies. What is Eric thinking?

JR-Nevermind the damn puppies, this young women may have had every bone in her body crushed because of that damn Eric Bischoff and his cronnies Jamal and Rosey!

Bischoff-Stacy...get spanking!

Some of the shocked crowd start to cheer as Stacy picks up the paddle and starts to spank the helpless Trish. Jamal and Rosey pull Trish to her knees and hold her as Stacy swings the paddle like a baseball bat and hits Trish right in the back of the neck with it.

JR-Oh my god! That little bitch, how cou....

King-Woah JR, calm down.

JR-Calm down!?! Trish Stratus jas been decimated, and now those three damn...they're leaving Trish laying in the ring. We need some help out here for Trish!

Winner:Stacy Keibler by spanking with paddle

***commercial break***

 

After the break JR and King are still talking about what happened moments ago.

JR-Well Trish has been taken to a local medical facility during the break, we hope she's OK. Oh and here comes that damn Eric Bischoff!

Bischoff-Now you all know what happens if you mess with me. Let that be a message to anyone who ends up on Raw...mess with me and you'll pay for it. Now I'm not stupid. As much as I want to, I know that if I draft Jamal or Rosey, Stephanie will draft the other, so I'm just hoping that the random part of the draft is kind to me. Now, as for my number 9 pick, I choose Booker T

Stephanie McMahon comes up from behind Eric and walks to the podium as Eric scowls at her.

Stephanie-Eric, I don't care about Jamal and Rosey, I care about being the best. So now, I draft a man who as had his fair share off problems in wrestling, and I think he deserves his chance...so I pick Chris Kanyon.

Bischoff-You know what, let's get this done with. I pick Lance Storm

Stephanie-Eric, I see know you're anxious to know....which Un-American I'll sign. Christian? Test? William Regal? Eric, I'm not that petty. I want to suceed which is why I am drafting Rhyno!!!And Eric, once again, Smackdown will rule over Raw! And that is another McMahon guarantee.

JR-What a draft! On paper, it looks pretty even so far. I guess the random draft that happens after the show will determine a lot of who will be the dominate brand. Well coming up next, It'll be three of the Un-Americans against The Rock, Booker T and Goldust.

 

Coach-Well we are moments away from our main event, and I am here with The Rock, and after the events earlier in the night it will be The Rock, Booker T and Goldust against three of The Un-Americans, although we don't know which three wil...

Rock-Woah Coach, stop right there. This a momentous occasion! For once, you're right! Coach you're right we don't know who the three Un-Americans in the match will be. Here, you deserve a pat on the back...let The Rock do that.

Coach bends over slightly for Rock to pat him on the back, but instead Rock backhand slaps him in the back of the head!

Rock-Once again, you state the blatantly obvious. Well Coach, tonight it just doesn't matter. It doesn't matter whever it's the buck toothed, mule faced woodchuck Test...or if it's the testicle less 'pillock' William Regal...or if it's the Canadian love affair that is Christian and Mr personality Lance Storm. You see, either way, the fact of the matter is whichever three get into the ring, byt the end of the night I'm going to take those Un-American flags, shine them up real nice...turn them sumbitches sideways, stick one up each of their asses and give them the salute...before proceeding to lay the smackdown on all their candy-asses! If YA SMELL...WHAT THE HELL!

Coach-The hell? I thought it was waht you were..oh

From behind The Rock comes Goldust dressed up like The Rock, complete with stick-on sideburns and eyebrow and black sunglasses.

'The Dust'-Coach, know your mouth and shut your role! No, wait a second...that isn't right...anyway...finally, The Dust has come back to Pittsbur...

Rock-WOAH WAOH WOAH WOAH!!! Who in the BLUE HELL are you!?!

'The Dust'-I am The Dust, who the hell are you.

Rock-You stupid gold freak, you know damn well I'm Th...

'The Dust'-IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!!!

Rock-First of all, stop stealing my lines. Second of all, stop pretending that eyebrow is real. And thirdly, it goes like this...FINALLY, THE ROCK HAS COME BACK....TO PITTS...BURGH!!! Hey Booker, tell this gold freak to stop imitating me.

Booker-Rock, ain't no stopping him now.(whispering)He thinks you're his freind

Rock-He thinks WHAT!!!

Rock looks at Gold-Rock, who gives him a thumbs up. Rock walks off towards the enterance as Booker follows after him.

'The Dust'-What are you looking at jabroni? Wait up Book!

The Un-Americans(Test, Lance Storm and William Regal)w/Christian vs The Rock, Booker T and Goldust

The Un-Americans music begins to play and the four Un-Americans walk out with Un-American T-shirts on, and Test is carrying the Un-American flag.

Fink-'The following 6 man tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Christian, at a total combined weight of 780lbs, Lance Storm, Test and William Regal, the Un-Americans!

The four men get into the ring and take turns in waving the flag about as the crowd start booing loudly. The crowd starts a 'U.S.A' chant as Goldust's music plays and he walks to the ring without his Rock imitation stuff on. He gets to the bottom of the ramp and looks back up...

[MARQUEE]CAN YOU DIG IT...SUKKAAAAA!!!/MARQUEE]

Booker walks down and sets off his fire pyros before waiting next to Goldust. The two start to jaw with the Un-Americans...

[MARQUEE]IF YA SMELL....WHAT THE ROCK...IS COOKING[/MARQUEE]

The Rock walks out to a thunderous reaction from the crowd.

Fink-'And their opponents, at a total combined weight of 794lbs, Booker T, Goldust and The Rock!

Rock, Booker and Goldust charge into the ring and the three guys brawl with all four Un-Americans. The referee Earl Hebner is trying to get 5 of the guys out but is having trouble controling them. The Rock helps him out by throwing Christian and Regal out before clotheslining Test out and Hebner manages to get everyone out apart from Storm and Goldust who decide to start off. Storm walks up to Goldust talking smack, so Goldust decides to smack the taste out of his mouth with a series of uppercuts. Storm gets whipped to the ropes, Goldust inverted atomic drops him and clotheslines him down before tagging in Booker. Booker knocks Storm down with a clothesline and drops him throat first on the top rope. Booker backs up and goes for the Sidekick, but Storm moves and Booker crotches himself across the top rope. Booker is in a very uncomfortable postition as Storm runs at him and dives with a side kick to the head knocking him to the outside. Storm distracts Hebner, Rock and Goldust as Christian and Regal work away on Booker.

JR-Come on ref, there's a mugging going on outside the ring!

Booker is thrown back in and Storm goes straight to work with stomps before tagging Test in. Booker is backed into a corner by Test and Test goes to work with knees and fists before whipping across and clotheslining him hard. Test does the same thing again before hitting a sidewalk slam and tagging Regal in. Booker tries to get up but Regal knees him right in the side of the head. Regal throws Booker to the ropes and forearms him in the jaw...1...2..Booker kicks Regal off. Regal picks Booker up, but Booker hits a spinning heel kick to the side of the head. Regal falls over into his corner though and manages to tag Storm in. Storm dropkicks Booker in the side preventing the tag being made. Booker gets snap suplexed towards the Un-Americans corner and Storm tags Regal back in. Regal wrenches Booker's arm and hits him with a hammerlock back suplex before dragging him up and sending him shoulder first into the post. As Booker staggers out, Storm is tagged in and hits an armbreaker and locks in an armbar. Storm keeps it locked in for long time before releasing it and tagging Regal. regal drop-toe-holds Booker and wraps on the Regal Stretch, but Rock quickly comes in and kicks Booker off. Hebner gets rid off Rock as Storm goes for a springboard clothesline, but Booker moves and Storm crashes into Regal. Test comes in, but Booker ducks a clothesline and hits the sidekick before crawling over to make the tag...Regal grabs the leg. Booker pulls himself up, but Regal ducks an enziguri and wraps the Regal Stretch in again...Booker desperately crawls towards the ropes...and eventually makes it. Regal frustratedly kicks at Booker's ribs before backing off the ropes, but Booker ducks and DDTs Regal. Both men crawl towards their corners with Regal tagging in Test...and Booker tagging The Rock to a huge pop. Rock punches away at Test as Storm runs at him, but Rock sidesteps and throws him outside before going back to punching Test. Test misses a shot and Rock DDTs him. Regal gets back in but so does Goldust and an all out brawl starts up. Regal hits a double knee on Goldust and runs at Rock, but Rock moves and lets Regal run into Test. But from behind Storm hits a springboard clothesline on Rock...1...2..kick out by Rock. Storm goes for a superkick on Goldust, but he blocks, spins Storm around into a Booker superkick and rolls him up...1...2...Regal makes a save. Regal whips Booker to the corner but Rock stops him, and whips him back across, and Booker clotheslines Regal out of the ring. Booker follows him out as Test hits a Big Boot on Goldust. Storm goes for the Superkick on Rock, but Rock ducks and Storm hits Test. Storm turns back around and Rock spinebusters him...Rock kicks Storm's arm to the side and throws the elbow pad out into the crowd.

King-You know what time it is now JR? It's time for the most electrifying move in sports entertainment and more importantly Ameri...Christian tripped him!

Rock looks out at Christian and leaps out chasing him around the ring. Meanwhile Storm staggers up as Booker gets in, and hits the Scissors Kick! Booker drops to a knee and looks at his hand...SPIN-A-ROONIE!!! Booker pops back up and Test boots him right in the face!...1...2...thr..Goldust pulls Test off. Goldust and Test brawl away until Test clotheslines Goldust and signals for the Boot. Test misses, and as he turns around The Rock is back in and hits him with a Rock Bottom!!! Christian charges in but Goldust hits him with an uppercut as Rock pins Tets...1...2...Storm hits Rock in the back. The ref tries to get Christian out of the ring and away from Goldust, and is distracted as Storm hits Rock in the head with a steel chair.

JR-Damn it no!

1...2...NO!

JR-Rock kicked out! Wait, Test has got that flag!

Test hits Rock in the back with the flag and Storm hits him with a superkick...1...2...3!

JR-Those damn Un-Americans have won it! Wait, the fight ain't over!

Winners:The Un-Americans by pinfall(Storm over The Rock)

Booker and Goldust brawl away with Storm and Christian but Regal pulls them out and they escape up the rampway with Test and their flag.

King-How do they keep doing it JR?

JR-I don't know King, but those damn Un-American bastards will soon get what's coming to them, you can bet on that! Wait, we're hearing that someone is in Eric Bischoff's office...can we get a camera back there?

The scene cuts backstage to outside Eric Bischoff's door and the camera man knocks on the door. Bischoff shouts for the camera man to go away, but suddenly Stephanie McMahon barges past the camera man and walks in. We hear Bischoff say 'Meet my newest recruit' and then after a short silence he says 'what's the matter Steph, lost for words?' Stephanie storms out as the camera man peeks the camera throught he door and we see 'Big Poppa Pump' Scott Steiner sitting on the couch with Eric Bischoff!!!

JR-My god, 'Big Poppa Pump' Scott Steiner is in the WWE!!! Smackdown is gonna be hellacious, but Raw will be too! Oh the WWE is going from strength to strength!!! Don't miss Smackdown on Thursday!

The screen showing Steiner and Bischoff fades to black as the copyright stuff and a picture of Eric Bischoff flash up across the screen.

 

Thanks for reading. NWA:TNA/ROH's show will be up later if it isn't already. I'd appreciate feedback from you guys(e.g great show, good results, could be more backstage stuff, just go away please...lol) and maybe a rating for the show, although it's just an opening show thing. Hope you enjoyed it.

[Guest RevEvil]

I thought you did a very good job. It was more entertaining and shorter than a real wwe show.