IGNWF Storm (Feb. 26/2002

February 27, 2002

[The sound of a cold wind whistles through a darkened arena.

Suddenly several medium sized white pyros explode in the centre of the stage as a rain of blue sparks cascades down to the stage in front of the IGNWF-tron.

After a few seconds the lights return, scan an excited audience then zoom in on the announcer's table...]

Curry - Well...it seems like it's been ages since the last show, but here we are for yet another edition of IGNWF Storm!

NTD - Scha-weeet! I'd spent my entire last paycheque on lego and porn! NTD needs work to buy food!

Curry - Sure...we all know once you get that check you're going straight to the adult lego store.

NTD - I have a serious problem.

Curry - We should make it into a storyline! Just like the WWF is doing with the Austin/Hall beer stuff.

NTD - Gasp! The WW...er what? Never speak that 3-letter name again!

Curry - Oh...sorry. Anyways, on with the show!

February 27, 2002

SINGLES MATCH

Jay Dawg vs. Xstasy

- In one of Sunday’s biggest shockers Jay Dawg joined up with Thugg and screwed over Xstasy, therefore saving the big man his title shot. This Friday Xstasy gets his chance at revenge.

TAG MATCH

The Boston Strangler and Fallout vs. Longdogger Pete and El Luchadore Magnifico

- On Sunday Longdogger Pete appeared in the IGNWF and started trouble with the Boston Strangler. Earlier that night Fallout scored what some may call an upset and defended his LHW title against former world champ El Luchadore Magnifico. These four men will face each other in a tag match on Storm!

HANDICAP MATCH

Spider Nekura and Thoth vs. The Prophet

- At From the Fire, Stubby defeated the Prophet (who was later revealed to be Tyler McClelland) and got his wife back, thanks to the Clan. Stubby is now indebt to the evil stable and he’s booked a match in which two of the Clan’s best will face off against his #1 enemy…

Match Description – DQ and count-out rules are in effect. Only 2 men are allowed in the ring at once. Nekura and Thoth must tag in and out.

IGNWF HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH

Mark Stevens © vs. Hville Thugg

- A month ago Hville Thugg was defeated by the Suicide King and has yet to cash in his guaranteed rematch. He even defended the rematch against former ally Xtsasy this past Sunday. Thugg will wait no more though as he faces newly crowned 2-time champion, Mark Stevens on Storm!

February 27, 2002

The signs wave, the music hits, and the lights flash!

>Curry “Time to once again kick off our show with our first full on match of the night! This one puts The Perfect Drug, Xstasy, against Jay Dawg…”

>NTD “The Prince of Power!”

>Curry “HA! How about the Lord of Losing!”

>NTD “That’s not very nice, spice.”

>Curry “Okay… sorry… even better: the Sultan of Suckitude!”

>NTD “How can you be so mean to the entity that is Jay Dawg! He’s a legend in his own right!”

>Curry “Well unless he’s a legend because he’s an absolute TOOL, I don’t see how I can agree with that! Everyone who watched the From The Fire Pay Per View awhile back knows that Jay Dawg interrupted X’s match against HVT and hit JD’s revenge on Xstasy, causing him the match prematurely!”

>NTD “And with good reason! I mean, who wouldn’t want to be friends with HVT? Well… besides X!”

>Curry “After that little interruption, our commish booked this match, X has a chance to get payback, and here we are, starting off the show!”

“Dope Hat” by Manson airs over the loudspeakers, and immediately the crowd begins to BOO!! A thick gray fog begins to spray from under the ramp, filling the lower ramp area with dank mist! The fans can barely make out a figure clad in black walking down the ramp, but only catch glimpses of dark through the fog!

>NTD “Here he comes, the no-selling Knight!!”

>Curry “Please… no more monikers!”

Suddenly, vents blow the fog away from the ramp, and there stands Jamie Drazon, his face scarred and burned, his oversized black tee shirt swaying in the breeze! He grimaces at the fans as they once again heap boos on him, not to mention a few stray items of trash!

DING DING DING

>Funyon “The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Vancouver, B.C., Canada… weighing in at 250 pounds… JAYYYYYYY DAWG!!!!

The Dawg slides into the ring, and steps into the center, beady eyes scanning the crowd.

>Curry “It’s obvious that Thugg is USING Jay Dawg! The Angry Black Bastard isn’t man enough to challenge X, face to face!”

>NTD “What are you talking about! JD has always wanted some of that oh so sweet spotlight! What better way to get some recognition than by beating a rising star like The Perfect Drug!”

“… and I want you…”

The lights go dim, and flashes begin to assail the crowd, who pop like Rice Krispies!

>Curry “Speak of the devil…”

“… and I want you…”

Faster flashes now…

>NTD “Here he comes…”

“… and I want you…”

The uproar is deafening as the flashes strobe swiftly and golden sparks pour onto the top of the ramp…

“… and I WANT YOU!!!!”

BOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

“YOU ARE THE PERFECT DRUG! THE PERFECT DRUG! THE PERFECT DRUG!!!!”

NIN’s “The Perfect Drug” continues as X steps into a BLINDING white light pouring from the entryway! He moves through the waterfall of sparks, stands at the top of the ramp, smiling cockily and enjoying his pop, while Jay Dawg continues to fume! As he runs a hand through his dreads, a group of nearby women scream with delight!

>Funyon “…And his opponent, from The Nation’s Capital… weighing in at 211 pounds… X-STA-SEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”

X cocks an eyebrow at the mention of his name, but stays near the top of the ramp as Jay Dawg climbs out of the ring and begins to walk up the ramp! Ever the overconfident youngster, X shrugs, and motions for JD to bring it on! The ref immediately slides out, and canters behind the Dawg, trying to convince him to take the action to the ring…

>Curry “It looks like JD is jumping the gun!”

>NTD “He’s just trying to establish himself!”

Xstasy adjusts his wetsuit (which also happens to be his wrestling attire) and glares at Jay Dawg, who suddenly slows down halfway up the ramp! The people are now throwing a “PER-FECT DRUG!!” chant onto the entryway, as X smirks and tilts his head at his unfortunate opponent. Jay Dawg clenches his teeth and his fists, looking into X’s eyes.

>Curry “There looks to be some real tension there… either that or Jay Dawg is REALLY nervous!”

>NTD “No reason for him to be nervous, I’m sure he’s tired of X hogging the spotlight…”

>Curry “I don’t know, the Dawg is already sweating, I can see it from here… wait a second… what… what the…”

Before Curry can finish his sentence, X notices JD’s eyes glance upwards, towards the huge screen above the entrance! It only takes The Drug a split second to realize that something is amiss and look upwards, but it takes even less time for an object- apparently a wooden crate- to FALL from the sky on TOP of Xstasy! The box smashes open with a splintering CRACK, and X falls to the ramp!

>Curry “WHAT THE HELL???!!!”

>NTD “Jay Dawg is TELEPATHIC!!!!”

>Curry “No moron, someone dropped that on X from above… but who?”

The people look up to the scaffolding below the screen (whish has been affectionately named The IGNWFTron, but only catch a glimpse of movement in the darkness there before the assailant disappears completely! Xstasy has been taken completely by surprise, and crawls around on the ground, a bleeding gash open on his forehead! Without any further encouragement, a smiling Jay Dawg lays into X with kicks as the ref tries to regain some semblance of order!

>NTD “I don’t believe it! It’s only our first few minutes on air at a new network, and we’re already on the brink of a riot!”

>Curry “That was just despicable, and look at Jay Dawg, like a jackal picking the bones! We’ve got to get a replay of that!”

As the replay is shown in split screen, JD bends his six foot four frame down and lifts Xstasy up by his locked hair! The Drug stumbles around, and JD uses his advantage to pull X like a dog down the ramp and towards the ring!

>Curry “OUCH!! That crate just knocked X for a loop… I can’t believe he’s still conscious… oh God… JD is taking complete advantage of the situation!”

>NTD “Hey, if somebody throws you a bone, you gotta take it!”

>Curry “I dunno, pantless, this one SCREAMS Set Up!”

JD walks Xstasy to ringside. As X stumbles, looking like a truck just bowled him over, the Dawg grabs him behind the head and slams him into the apron! X is too out of it to sell, and instead slumps down to the floor, but Jay Dawg isn’t done yet! He lifts him by the hair yet again, and slides him into the ring under the ropes, following suit and officially starting the match!

DING DING DING

>Curry “This just isn’t fair! X needs medical attention!”

>NTD “He may have a concussion… or worse… BLUE BALLS!!!”

>Curry “Where did that come from?”

>NTD “I dunno… I just wanted to see if I could get away with shouting BLUE BALLS!!”

JD immediately walks to the near ropes, a smile on his face as he hops onto the second rope, with some effort, and bounces off, careening down and NAILING a pointed elbow straight into the sternum of his opponent! WHAMM!!! The mat shakes, and X is sprawled! Dawg, of course, makes the cover!

>NTD “This one is over!”

>Curry “This is a TRAVESTY!”

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>NTD “I can’t believe my eyes!”

>Curry “Did he… did he just…?”

Yes he did. He kicks out!! And the people go NUTSO!!!

>NTD “Good show, Tiger…”

>Curry “What a display of determination! There is no way Xstasy should be kicking out of anything!! How is he still even aware of his predicament!”

Jay Dawg immediately stands up, accosting the referee with a verbal assault as X slowly slithers by inches on the canvas! The Dawg gives a SHOUT, which encourages Boos from the people, and he immediately goes back to X. Lifting the Drug’s head off of the mat, JD mumbles some threat into the ear of the Dread Headed Sex Pill. Then, the Vancouver native goes to his lower body, and begins hyper-extending the knee with a DEADLY Crucifix Kneebar!

>NTD “Hell Busting Knee-Trap! X is gonna be gone after this!”

But the referee immediately calls for the breakup… X’s wrist is draped over the bottom rope! JD LEAPS up in frustration and again gets in the referee’s face

>Curry “The Dawg is paying more attention to the Referee than he is to Xstasy!”

>NTD “Well, can you blame him? That ref was counting slower than a tortoise on depressants!”

Jay Dawg lifts X up off of the mat! He pulls an arm through, and throws the young Xstasy back with a HUGE T-Bone Suplex! WHAMM!!

>NTD “Lookit that mat? Whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on!”

>Curry “This match shouldn’t have even begun! And even though I didn’t see who was perched above the entrance, but this scheme REEKS of the H-Ville Thugg! After the history HVT and Xstasy have been through, it wouldn’t surprise me for that coward to blindside X like that!”

>NTD “Coward? He’s the most dominant World Champion we’ve ever had!”

>Curry “EX-World Champ!”

>NTD “Oh for cryin’ out loud… admit it. The guy is a fighter, not a trickster!”

>Curry “True, Thugg isn’t really big on brains! Maybe he got some help…”

JD has since gotten X to his feet, and smiles now, taking his time and methodically breaking down the condition of Xstasy, not to mention the morale of the crowd! He Irish Whips X to the far corner, where the Drug sticks back first! JD runs in, and gets a huge charge to Xstasy’s mid section! He grabs X by the head, and rams the back of his dome into the turnbuckle! The crowd is booing their disapproval once more as JD rears back and lets X have it with a HUGE right hand… and ANOTHER… and STILL ANOTHER!!

>Curry “Xstasy is in NO condition to battle this one out!”

JD rocks X’s dome with another huge punch, and suddenly clasps his hand around the Drug’s neck! With a HARD choking action, he pushes X down to a sitting position and completely closes his windpipe with a crushing hold! The ref immediately makes the mandatory five count and calls for the break, eventually having to PULL JD off of X!

>Curry “Blatant disrespect for legality by Jay Dawg.”

>NTD “Well, sometimes the passion of the moment gets to you… but you gotta admit, he has a lot of heart!”

>Curry “Heart? He’s beating down a freshly injured man!”

X’s bloody face is a vision of confusion and pain as he pulls himself up by the ropes while the referee shouts a warning in JD’s face! Dawg smirks in apathy, before turning around to X….

WHAP!!!

>Crowd “RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!”

>NTD “OUCH!”

>Curry “Oh my god, X just lifted his hand up and SLAPPED the underside of Jay Dawg’s chin! The Drug is determined not to give up on this one!”

Irate at X’s disrespect, JD charges into the corner, only to be met with a boot from Xstasy to the face! JD steps back a pace, shakes off the blow, and then finds himself ASSAULTED by Ridgehand Chops to his chest!

WHACK!!!!

>Curry “Xstasy is battling back!!!”

>NTD “Those chops are dangerous!”

WHACK!!!

>Crowd “WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

But the no-selling bastard grabs X behind the head and sends a knee to X’s abdomen, doubling him! He immediately slaps on a slow arm drag, taking X to the mat!

>JD “Get up, XstaGAY!!”

>NTD “JD gets out of a predicament there!”

As he lifts X to his feet again, JD holds him up by the hair and NAILS hard right hands!

>JD “What’s my name? What’s… my… NAME??!!!!”

He nails another right, and shouts in Xstasy’s face!

>JD “WHAT’S… MY… NAME???!!!!”

>Curry “Ummm… is Jay Dawg actually trash talking Xstasy?”

>NTD “He’s gaining confidence, not to mention momentum!”

>Curry “I can’t believe this… this complete disgrace!”

Dawg whips X to the far ropes, only to catch him in close on the rebound, and throw him overhead… WHAMMMM!

>NTD “Belly-to-Belly!! That Suplex ended it!”

>Curry “JD with the cover, this is despicable!”

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>Crowd “YYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

>Curry “The shoulder is UP! X just kicked out of that HUGE Belly to Belly! How could he… how did he…??”

>NTD “What does it take to keep him down?”

Jay Dawg leaps up, FURIOUS! He immediately begins mouthing some words to X down on the mat, and scales the near turnbuckle! Perched on top, he faces inside the ring towards Xstasy!

>Curry “What’s he going for here?”

>NTD “JD wants to put this one away for good…”

The Dawg immediately extends his hands, and begins to fall forward, his forehead aimed STRAIGHT at X’s mid section on the canvas! He topples, and then comes down HARD, head first…

WHAMMM!!

>NTD “OH MY!!!”

The crowd roars as at the last second, Xstasy ROLLS out of the way!! Jay Dawg eats canvas in ring shaking impact, and immediately grabs hold of his head!

>Curry “X MOVED! JD missed that suicidal headbutt, and now they’re both down!”

The ref begins his knock-out count…

ONE… TWO… THREE…

JD is stirring (being the No seller that he is), and begins to stand as X tries his best to get up to his knees! A loud “X-STA-SEE!!” chant spreads like an epidemic, but Jay Dawg is getting to his feet first!

FOUR… FIVE… SIX… SEVEN

>NTD “Jay Dawg is up! How did he recover so quickly?”

Poor X is once again verbally assaulted by JD, who walks towards The Drug once again…

WHAMMMMMMMMM!!!!

>Crowd “RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!”

>NTD “What the hell?”

>Curry “SPEAR!!! That SPEAR came out of nowhere… and X is laying on TOP of Jay Dawg!”

The huge spear, usually executed with the utmost of style by Xstasy, is more form than functionl. X falls down onto JD for the cover…

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KICKOUT!!!!

>Crowd “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

>Curry “No dice for X there, but look, he’s getting up!”

Sure enough, X is standing to his feet! X goes to the nearest turnbuckle, slowly and shakily, and to the Joy of the fans, he begins to climb!!

>NTD “No way!”

>Curry “In his condition… he’s going for the high risk??!!!”

X only hears the cheering of the fans, and the constant ringing in his ears, but he gets on top of the turnbuckle and faces the crowd! Their flashes go off, as X wipes blood off of his forehead! Unfortunately, he does not see JD rise behind him…

>Curry “X… look out!!!”

But it is too late! Just as X turns to get his positional bearings, JD nails a forearm to his lower back!! X sways on top of the buckle, and The Dawg immediately goes to the second rope, and wraps his arms around X’s waist… pulling him up, and OFF of the top rope! The crowd Boos like ghosts as X is brought back first into the mat in a…

>NTD “Top Rope German Suplex!! JD is BRUTAL!!”

>Curry “That’s it, its over! Cover by JD!!”

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>Curry “OH MY GOD!!”

JD SLAMS his fist into the mat as the roar of the crowd overwhelms him!! The ref holds up two fingers, and Dawg stands up and SCREAMS in rage!

>NTD “He did it again?”

>Curry “He sure did, NTD! Xstasy has kicked out of almost everything thrown at him! He wants this one for his HONOR!!”

Immediately, JD lifts his opponent up and into a Standing Headscissors! The fans, knowing what comes next, boo into the next millennium, but it doesn’t stop Jamie from crossing Xstasy’s arms across his neck underneath! Jay Dawg smiles sadistically, while the bleeding, broken Drug is helpless to resist!

>NTD “This is all over! It looks like ANOTHER JD’s Revenge for Xstasy!”

>Curry “It’s too much! This poor youngster was shafted, destroyed, and he still put up an incredible effort in this matchup…”

>NTD “But Jay Dawg has dominated, and now, X is getting put away!”

As JD yanks his arms out, the Drug seems to rock backwards limply… but suddenly the fans are aware of his plans! JD prepares to pull up for his patented finisher, X slides his feet forward between JD’s legs! Immediately he opens them up in a full on SPLIT, causing JD’s own legs to open up completey!

>Males in the Audience “OOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!”

>NTD “Dude… that’s just WRONG!!!”

The people ROAR with glee, as Jay Dawg clutches his little soldier (and I do mean LITTLE soldier), and X lays on the mat, all but spent!

>Curry “Ummm… I think X just found the no-selling bastard’s weakness!”

>NTD “How could ANY MAN not sell a move like that?”

>Curry “That Wishbone Splint nearly tore JD’s groin apart! Wait! Xstasy is getting up!!!”

Sure enough, X is climbing up to all fours! The stomps, claps and cheers of the arena rally behind him as he makes his way to his knees, then to one knee! Nearby, Jay Dawg is also starting to rise! X is pushing himself up, still groggy, while JD stands gingerly, not able to get a solid footing while he still tends to his unmentionables! Even from one knee, Xstasy sees the doubled over stance of the Dawg through his blood and tears!

>NTD “Anyone can take this one…”

Dawg turns towards X…

>Curry “OH MY GOD!!!”

… and is IMMEDIATELY facelocked and spun around QUICKLY! X falls down, snapping JD’s neck in a HARD Neckbreaker! BAMMMM!!!!

>Curry “OH MY GOD!! XCEPTION! OUT OF NOWHERE! Xstasy hit the XCEPTION!!”

Somehow, X had the wherewithal to hit the SWIFT finisher, which puts JD into a fuoll 360 degree spin before he falls to the mat! The combination of neck stress and excruciating groin pain is too much even for a no-seller, and X drapes an arm limply over his foe!

>NTD “COVER!!”

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DING DING DING

>Curry “That actually DID IT!!!!”

>Funyon “Here is your winner… X-STA-SEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

>Curry “That Xception, coupled with an overstretched groin, was able to take out JD! Unbelievable effort from X tonight!”

The crowd is going bananas as JD rolls out of the ring after the fact! Not sure of whether to take care of his extended groin, or his snapped neck, he settles for a look of utter frustration and agony as he limps gingerly to the ramp!

>NTD “Now that was a match! But X is still reeling!”

Blood is still wet on Xstasy’s head, and the ref kneels by him to try and help him rise as a team of security and medics approach the ring! JD knows better than to accost a whole slew of admins, and curses his disdain all the way up to the entrance!

>Curry “Well, here comes some help for the injured X, but I think he’s gonna be just fine…”

>NTD “Yeah, he looks like he’s recovering pretty quickly, but how he was able to come away with that win, I have no idea!”

>Curry “He’s Xstasy, the Drug is just plain resourceful! But we still aren’t sure who it was that hit him with that falling crate!”

>NTD “I bet JD would like to hit him with a bunch of heavy objects right now!”

>Curry “Nevertheless, X just did the impossible- picked up the win against incredible odds! And I can guarantee he’s gonna spend the rest of the week getting to the bottom of that attack!”

>NTD “Oh come off it, we all know it was Thugg… who else hates X enough! These two have a huge score to settle!”

>Curry “But we don’t know for sure, NTD! I just hope X is in better condition later tonight to find out who dunnit!”

>NTD “For now, all of this speculation is making my head hurt! We need to go to commercial… and I need some Mydol…”

>Curry “Mydol?”

>NTD “Whoops… meant Advil! Darn cue cards were wrong!”

>Curry “… ummm… yeah… we’ll be right back…”

The shot of a bloody Xstasy being helped up by a myriad of medics is the last sight before the commercial break, but not without the trademark of true Xstatic charm…

The Perfect Drug still wears his cocky smile…

February 27, 2002

The show fades back in from commercial to an almost-eerie silence in the arena as the murmuring fans wait for the next match of the evening. Suddenly, the lovely voice of Gavin Rossdale comes over the arena’s speakers, saying…

"You will get yours...

you will get yours...

YOU WILL GET YOURS!"

After the fifth repetition of the opening line, an explosion of white pyro goes off on the stage, and then the entrance fills with smoke. Pete steps out and immediately begins walking down the ramp as the crowd cheers for the former JL veteran. Pete walks down the ramp with one arm raised in anticipated victory, the excitement almost showing on his face in competing in his first IGNWF Match. The lyrics continue as LDP enters the ring, and Funyon has to speak over them.

Funyon: The following is a Tag-Team Match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Miami, Florida, weighing in at 272 Pounds….Looooooooonnngdogger Peeeeeeeeete!!

Bush’s “Cold Contagious” continues to play in the background as LDP stands up in the ring and raises his arm once more, drawing a sizable pop from the fans.

Curry: Welcome back, folks, to IGNWF Storm! As you can see, we’ve reached our next match, which pits Longdogger Pete, in his first IGNWF Match, and El Luchadore Magnifico against The Boston Strangler and Fallout!

NTD: This is pathetic! This is the best team the commissioner can come up with to compete against two IGNWF Champions AND Clan Members?

Curry: I’m sure that LDP and Magnifico are more than happy to take the match, NTD. Both of them have unresolved issues with Strangler and Fallout, respectively, from the From the Fire pay per view.

NTD: And I should care…why?

LDP’s music fades out, but is almost immediately replaced by a Mexican voice shouting, “UNO! DOS! TRES! CUATRO!” as a burst of pyro shoots from each turnbuckle with each number. The chorus of “Mission Trip to Mexico” by Bunch of Believers elicits a loud cheer from the crowd as El Luchadore Magnifico bursts out from behind the curtain, waving his Mexican flag proudly. The luchadore quickly makes his way down the ramp, slapping a few fans’ hands as Pete looks on from inside the ring.

Funyon: And now, his Tag Team partner, from Mexico City, Mexico, weighing in at 190 Pounds…El Luchadoooooooooorre Magnificoooooooooo!!

Mag slides into the ring, drops his flag, and pops to his feet. He steals a glance in LDP’s direction, then hops onto the second turnbuckle of the nearest corner and begins pumping his fist in the air, drawing another pop from the excited fans. After a few seconds of this, Magnifico hops off of the turnbuckle, grabs his flag, and gives it to the ref for safekeeping. LDP approaches him, and the two share a few words before the match begins. But LDP and ELM are suddenly interrupted, as a haunting melody suddenly cuts through the air. There’s some semblance of a beat, but it’s hard to find. Fading cries... disturbing laughter... it can only mean one thing.

“What’s wrong, mother****er, you were a man just a minute ago...”

The Clan’s theme, “You Were”, hauntingly floats throughout the inside of the arena as Fallout and The Boston Strangler slowly come out from behind the curtain, covered up in their traditional Clan robes. They are immediately showered with boos, but the Clannies don’t pay any attention to the audience as they make their way down to the ring.

Funyon: And now, at a combined weight of 479 Pounds, representing the Clan…the Hardcore Champion, the Boston Strangler, and the Light-Heavyweight and one half of the Tag Team Champions, Fallout!

Fallout rolls beneath the ring as Strangler climbs up on the apron and steps between the ropes. Fallout stands right next to Strangler, and the two men simultaneously pull back their hoods for a rather creepy effect as “You Were” suddenly fades out. LDP and Magnifico glare at their opponents as the Clannies shed their robs and toss them on the ground. LDP whispers something in Magnifico’s ear while pointing to Strangler, and the luchadore nods. Magnifico steps out onto the apron, leaving Pete alone in the ring as Strangler and Fallout look on. Strangler slowly steps forward, approaching Pete, and Fallout steps out of the ring. The ref, while gathering the Clan’s robes, signals for the bell as LDP and Strangler come closer and closer to each other.

DING DING DING

Curry: LDP must have been waiting for this moment for months. Standing right in front of him is the man who took Pete out of action for a month, who took the IGNJL World Title from him, and who left the IGNJL before LDP could exact his revenge; The Boston Strangler.

NTD: Man, Pete sure knows how to hold a grudge, huh? He needs to stop living in the past and just get on with his life.

Curry: NTD, Strangler nearly RUINED his life! You just don’t forgive something like that.

LDP and Strangler continue to approach each other, until they are both standing in the middle of the ring, face-to-face, staring at each other and not making a move. The standoff continues until a smirk comes over Strangler’s face, and he half-heartedly pushes Pete by the chest. LDP backs up a step and turns away from Strangler…and then suddenly unloads with a hard right, catching Strangler off guard! TBS tries to return the blow, but LDP doesn’t give him the chance, landing punch after punch to Strangler’s face and backing him into the ropes! LDP grabs Strangler by his arm and attempts a whip, but Strangler reverse it, sending LDP into the opposite ropes. Pete bounces off of the ropes, ducks beneath a huge Clothesline from Strangler, bounces off the ropes behind Strangler and rushes back towards him. TBS turns around just in time to see LDP lower his head and drive it straight into Strangler’s gut, driving the Clannie down to the canvas with a Spear out of nowhere! But instead of pinning, Pete grabs Strangler by the hair and begins pounding away at his face, his expression becoming more intense with every punch!

Curry: LDP is completely wailing on Strangler!

NTD: Foul! Foul! This is in clear violation of Queensbury Rules!

After dozens of punches, the ref finally forces LDP to get off of Strangler. TBS stands up, leaving Strangler on the canvas, and then runs towards the farthest ropes. LDP bounces off and rushes back towards Strangler, jumps into the air and extends his legs, driving one into the Clannie’s throat with a Leg Drop as he falls! Strangler grabs his throat and chokes for breath as Pete makes the cover. The ref slides down to the mat and starts counting as LDP hooks the leg…

ONE…

TWO-No! Strangler kicks out right after two. Undeterred, Pete grabs Strangler by the hair and stands up, then steps over to the nearby Magnifico and tags him into the match. A few cheers come from the crowd as LDP brings Strangler to his feet and Magnifico comes into the match. Pete puts Strangler up against the ropes and grabs one arm, while Magnifico grabs the other. Both men whip Strangler at the same time, sending him into the far ropes, and then step into the center of the ring. As Strangler bounces off the ropes and approaches his enemies, LDP and ELM bend down, grab Strangler by the waist, and then stand up, flipping him over their heads with a Double Back Drop! Strangler crashes into the mat with a horrendous THUD! as the crowd cheers for the Double-Team move. Suddenly, Magnifico rushes over to the ropes closest to and parallel Strangler and jumps onto the middle rope! The luchadore springs backwards off of the rope, does a back flip in mid-air, and then crashes into Strangler’s gut, landing an Asai Moonsault! Magnifico remains on Strangler’s gut, hooking the leg for the cover and drawing the ref down to the mat…

ONE…

TWO-No! Strangler kicks out once more.

Curry: Magnifico and LDP are really taking it to Strangler, but they can barely keep him down for two seconds!

NTD: Their weak attacks are nothing to the Strangler! As soon as he re-assumes control, this match is over.

LDP, who watched Magnifico land the Asai Moonsault, now steps out onto the apron as ELM stands up and begins rapidly stomping away at Strangler. Strangler, who seems to be barely even feeling the stomps, begins to climb to his feet. Just as he’s about to stand, Magnifico bolts for the ropes behind him, bounces off, and rushes back towards Strangler! But before the luchadore can land any sort of offensive move, Strangler suddenly throws his foot into the air, driving it into Magnifico’s face and knocking him to the ground with a Big Boot! Magnifico tries to get back up, but Strangler catches him mid-way, as he grabs the luchadore by the arm and whips him into the far ropes. Magnifico bounces off of the ropes and rushes back towards Strangler, who wraps his arms around the luchadore’s waist as if for a Belly-to-Belly Suplex! But before Strangler can complete the move, Magnifico delivers a quick knee to his gut, loosening the Clannie’s grip enough to escape! While Strangler is momentarily stunned, Magnifico grabs Strangler, jumps/pushes himself onto his shoulders, and then hooks his legs around Strangler’s head for a Hurricanrana! However, Strangler suddenly locks his hands around Magnifico’s neck and pulls the luchadore off of his shoulders, holding him in mid-air with a Choke Hold! Magnifico kicks and struggles, but can’t escape Strangler’s grasp! Just as the luchadore’s face begins to turn purple, Strangler throws him into the nearest corner, sending Magnifico crashing awkwardly into the turnbuckle. ELM leans up against the turnbuckle, holding his throat and gasping for breath. As this is happening, Strangler walks over to the corner opposite the luchadore, turns towards him, and glares coldly at Magnifico for a few seconds. He then dashes out of the corner, running across the ring at full speed and heading straight towards Magnifico! ELM has no chance to put up a defense, and is completely crushed between the charging Strangler and the corner. The crowd lets out a bit of an OOOOH! sound as Magnifico stumbles out of the corner and falls forward, landing flat on his face. Grinning to himself, Strangler walks towards his corner and tags in Fallout, drawing some heat from the crowd as the Nuclear One steps into the ring.

Curry: And here comes Fallout, Magnifico’s former leader and hero, but also the man who defeated the luchadore at From the Fire.

NTD: Bah, Magnifico never stood a chance. There’s a reason Fallout has held the belt for over 100 days.

Curry: Would that reason be cheating?

NTD: *sigh* Poor, jealous Curry. Can’t look past your own envy and see what a great competitor Fallout is.

Fallout quickly makes his way over to Magnifico and begins to stomp away at the motionless luchadore. After a few seconds, Fallout grabs Magnifico and brings him to his feet, then whips ELM across the ring and into the far corner. ELM lands in the corner, and Fallout immediately charges after him, running at full tilt. But as he approaches, Magnifico sticks his foot into the air, driving it into Fallout’s face and stopping him dead in his tracks! Fallout turns away from Magnifico and takes a step or two, but suddenly turns back around and charges once more! This time, Magnifico delivers a Back Elbow to Fallout’s face, turning him around once more. Right after landing the elbow, Magnifico hops onto the second turnbuckle, and waits patiently for Fallout to turn back around. When the Nuclear One does so, the luchadore leaps off of the turnbuckle, extending his arms and legs and soaring towards Fallout with a Flying Cross-Body! But in amazing show of speed, Fallout suddenly leaps into the air and extends his legs, slamming his feet into Magnifico’s gut in mid-air with a Flipping Dropkick! The luchadore falls to the canvas, clutching his gut as the crowd begins to boo. Fallout quickly crawls over to Magnifico and makes the cover, drawing the ref down to the mat to count…

ONE…

TWO…No! Magnifico escapes at two and a half, drawing a few cheers from the crowd.

Curry: I’d have to say that Fallout’s incredible speed simply goes unmatched in this league. Even Magnifico seems to have a hard time keeping up with him.

NTD: That’s right! Mr. Magnificent just doesn’t have what it takes to defeat Fallout. He proved at From the Fire.

Fallout quickly gets off of Magnifico, but does grab him by the hair and stand up, dragging the luchadore to his feet with him. Still holding Magnifico by the hair, Fallout delivers a stiff shot to his face, backing Magnifico up against the ropes. With the luchadore leaning against the ropes, Fallout rears his arm back and…CHOP! SMACK! WHOOO! Even though the crowd hates him, they can’t resist “whoo”ing for Fallout’s Knife-Edge Chop. Fallout rears back once more and…CHOP! SMACK! WHOOO! Magnifico breathes deeply and holds his chest in pain as Fallout backs up a few steps, making some room between himself and Magnifico. The Nuclear One then sidesteps towards ELM and throws his foot into the air, smashing it into Magnifico’s jaw and sending him over the top rope with the force of his Superkick! The crowd OHHH!s loudly as Magnifico crashes to the floor, nearly landing on his head, as Fallout hits the mat and rolls out of the ring.

Curry: And this match has spilled to the outside, thanks to that viscous Superkick from Fallout! He’s taken complete control for his team, and doesn’t seem to be ready to give it up.

Magnifico starts to get up, managing to maintain a shaky standing position, but Fallout is quick to return, and assaults Magnifico with a sharp spinning heel kick. The kick impacts across Magnifico's face with a resounding SMACK which hurls Magnifico back down to the floor. Fallout looks incredibly pleased with himself as ELM recoils in pain on the floor, with his tag partner, Longdogger Pete, looking on. Angrily, Pete drops down from the apron to attend to Fallout himself.

NTD: Here comes LDP to take on Fallout! He's deluded if he thinks he actually has a chance against the light-heavyweight champ!

Curry: He calls himself the One Man Wrecking Crew, NTD! And he has vowed to personally take care of the Clan... alone if he has to!

Before Pete can get to Fallout, he is intercepted by the Boston Strangler, who has also vacated the ring apron. Strangler lays into Pete with several body punches that would normally wear down a smaller competitor. Such isn't the case with the two hundred seventy pound Longdogger Pete, but the blows do serve their present purpose... to distract the Miami native while Fallout continues to have his way with El Luchadore Magnifico. Fallout lifts his opponent to another unsteady standing position, then flips Magnifico into a daring Northern Lights suplex and release. Magnifico lands on his back behind Fallout, motionless. Fallout takes a moment just to ensure that Magnifico's partner is still otherwise occupied, and then picks up Magnifico again, hefting him onto the apron and into the ring underneath the bottom rope. Fallout doesn't hesitate, rolling Magnifico onto his back and hooking his leg for a cover attempt.

ONE!

TWO! ....NO! Magnifico barely gets his shoulder up, narrowly escaping the pinfall, to the delight of the audience, many of whom had been holding their breath. Fallout grumbles and picks up Magnifico to inflict further damage. Fallout wrenches Magnifico's arm to force the Mexican immigrant to follow Fallout's direction, and Fallout steps closer to his tag team partner, slapping hands with the Boston Strangler to tag him in. Fallout and Strangler begin to double team Magnifico, hammering the fan favorite with simultaneous punches to Magnifico's upper chest. Magnifico is pummeled relentlessly, and Longdogger Pete tries to step in to prevent the double team. The referee notices Pete trying to step in, and quickly intervenes, keeping Pete at bay on the apron; however, the referee's distraction allows the double team to go on unhindered.

Curry: Look at this! The referee's distracted! This is totally unfair!

NTD: How do you figure?

Finally the referee gets his point across and Pete remains behind the ropes on the ring apron. The referee turns around to watch the match, finally noticing Fallout and Strangler continuing to go to work on the helpless Magnifico. The referee quickly shoos Fallout out of the ring, recognizing Strangler as the new legal man. Strangler continues where Fallout left off, raising his arms and launching a double axe handle into Magnifico's back side. Magnifico struggles to fight this attack, but Strangler locks in a standing sleeper hold from behind to force the issue. Magnifico valiantly fights against the submission hold, reaching out toward Longdogger Pete's outstretched arm to try to make a tag, but the Miami native is just too far away. Magnifico finds himself starting to lose consciousness as the sleeper does its damage.

Curry: Magnifico is finding it really difficult to make a tag out in this matchup. Both Clan member are utterly destroying ELM!

Magnifico appears to fade out, and so the referee raises his arm, allowing it to drop once, and then counts, "ONE!" Meanwhile, Pete begins clapping his hands frantically, loudly, hoping the noise will jar his partner awake and back to consciousness. Upon seeing this, Strangler only increases the intensity of the hold.

"TWO!" counts the referee as Magnifico's arm is raised a second time and falls limply back to his side. Strangler smiles, thinking he has the match won. The referee raises Magnifico's arm a third time and lets go... but it remains in the air! Magnifico comes to, and thrusts backward with his elbow in the stomach of Strangler, knocking the wind out of the Bostonian, who inadvertently breaks the sleeper hold. Magnifico pulls Strangler for an Irish whip, sending the larger man off toward the ropes. Strangler bounces off the ropes and readies a power clothesline as he hurtles back toward Magnifico. Magnifico tries to counter with a clothesline of his own, and the result is a spectacular collision as the two men knock each other down onto the mat. Both men now lay flat on the mat: Magnifico near Fallout, and Strangler near Pete. Neither legal man moves, and the referee has no choice but to begin a countout.

ONE!

TWO!

The audience begins to go crazy, cheering in time to Longdogger Pete's clapping, doing anything within their power to try to get Magnifico to stir.

THREE!

FOUR!

Now both Magnifico and Strangler do begin to stir, slowly extending their arm in the direction of their respective tag partners. Pete reaches his arm in as far as he can, and Fallout does likewise, but at the rate they're going, the two legal men are more likely to have accumulated a ten count by the time they can make a tag.

FIVE!

SIX!

Inch by agonizing inch, the exhausted wrestlers move toward their tag partners on opposite ends of the ring. The audience offers a polite chant of "LDP! LDP!"

SEVEN!

Suddenly Magnifico leaps with all the strength he has available, and his hand barely manages to slap against Pete's. A second later, Strangler performs a similar feat of strength and tags in Fallout. But Strangler's tag proves a second too late. As Fallout climbs into the ring, he is met by a prepared Longdogger Pete, who connects with a massive hard right arm clothesline to take the Clan member down to the mat. Pete whirls around in time to catch Strangler reaching a standing position, and in turn, knocks Strangler over with a clothesline as well! Fallout quickly gets back up, running after Pete again, but Pete, feeding off the crowd's momentum, catches Fallout, using Fallout's own momentum against him, lifting the relatively light opponent into the air. With a forceful heave, Pete amazingly holds Fallout horizontally over his own head!

Curry: Military press! That can only mean one thing: MUSCLEHEAD SLAM!

Sure enough, after a moment's hesitation, Longdogger Pete simply drops Fallout like so much refuse. Fallout hits the mat with a hard THUD, and Pete drops down on top of Fallout for a cover attempt!

ONE!

TWO!

NO! Suddenly, the Boston Strangler runs back into the ring and quickly kicks Pete off Fallout, breaking up the pin attempt!

Curry: Aww. So close! Pete should have had the match won for his team after the Musclehead Slam!

NTD: That's why they call it a TAG TEAM match, Curry! Fallout and Strangler are showing extraordinary TEAM work tonight!

Strangler quickly exits the ring and drops down from the ring apron, leaving the ring area, provoking questions among the audience. Meanwhile, Fallout gets back to his feet, and manages to get the better of Longdogger Pete, reversing an Irish whip so that Fallout subsequently whips LDP to the ropes instead. As Pete returns from his brief jaunt with the ropes, Fallout lays a swift kick to Pete's midsection, following it up with a devastating impaler DDT!

Curry: Ouch! Fallout scores with the Meltdown on Longdogger Pete!

Fallout rolls atop the prone LDP for a cover attempt...

ONE!

TWO!

NO! And this time it is El Luchadore Magnifico that breaks up the three count! Longdogger Pete and Fallout have now each managed to escape each other's finishing moves, and Fallout is certainly not pleased with this turn of events! Fallout shouts something to his tag partner, the Boston Strangler, who is now returning to the ring from outside... only now he carries his IGNWF Hardcore Gamers Championship in hand!

Curry: Uh oh. What's Strangler going to do with that Hardcore title belt?

NTD: Whatever it takes, Curry!

Fallout helps to lift a groggy Longdogger Pete to his feet... no small task for the IGNWF Light Heavyweight Champion. Fallout stands up Pete, standing behind Pete with Pete's hands locked behind his back, and Strangler slides into the ring, standing and approaching Pete with the title belt. Strangler smiles as he swings the heavy gold championship belt... AND PETE DUCKS! STRANGLER INADVERTENTLY CLUBS FALLOUT OVER THE HEAD WITH THE BELT! Fallout drops to the mat, stunned by the sudden impact, and Strangler looks at Fallout on the mat, and then at the belt in his hand, in shock over the critical error! Strangler's hesitation presents a perfect opportunity for LDP, as Pete launches his foot into Strangler's chest! Strangler buckles forward in surprise, the wind knocked out of him, dropping the hardcore title in the process, and Pete follows up by placing his hands on Strangler's shoulders, and dropping backwards, slamming Strangler downward, the Clan member's face landing on his own title belt!

Curry: LONGDOGGER CLOGGER! The Boston Strangler takes the Clogger right atop the Hardcore Gamers Title! That has GOT to hurt!

NTD: What is he DOING out there?

For a moment, Pete considers a cover attempt, then thinks better of it, remembering smartly that Strangler isn't the legal man: Fallout is. Pete whirls around to face Fallout, who still lies on the mat from the accidental belt shot. Fallout is slowly trying to sit up, but Pete glances upward for a moment, and then backs away, for he sees that El Luchadore Magnifico is rapidly ascending a nearby turnbuckle, and the crowd noise is approaching a thunderous climax! ELM reaches the top of the turnbuckle, and, with the flashes of hundreds of instant cameras snapping pictures simultaneously, leaps off the top rope, performing a shooting star press and sailing toward the prone Fallout!

Curry: HERE IT COMES!! MEXICAN PRIDE PRESS!!!

ELM lands dead center atop Fallout, hitting his target right where he wanted to. Fallout is knocked unconscious, and Magnifico rolls a couple feet away, exhausted a little himself from the high risk aerial finishing maneuver. Out of four competitors, Pete is surprised to find himself the only one standing! Thinking quickly, he drops down to his knees and hooks the leg of the unconscious Fallout! The audience counts along with the referee as Pete tries for a match-winning pinfall!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!

The bell rings and the audience explodes with applause as "Cold Contagious" pipes up through the arena speakers again. Pete stands up unsteadily, and as Funyon raises one of Pete's arms in the air, Pete triumphantly holds up the other one as well, eliciting more applause.

Funyon: The winners of this contest... EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO AND LONGDOGGER PETE!!

Curry: And there you have it! With a little help from El Luchadore Magnifico, Longdogger Pete wins his first IGNWF match, scoring a decisive victory against the Clan!

NTD: Not fair! I demand a rematch!

Curry: (confused) You want to fight LDP?

NTD: Uh... er... dammit! That's not what I meant!

Both Pete and Magnifico slide out of the ring underneath the bottom rope. They meet outside the ring, slapping each other's hands in a victorious high five to celebrate the occasion. As they start to walk back up the entrance ramp, they are blissfully unaware that both Fallout and the Boston Strangler have come to, and are stalking the winning team up the ramp! And this time, both Clan members are carrying title belts! Pete is caught off guard as Strangler clubs him from behind with the hardcore title belt, and at the same time, Fallout does the same to Magnifico with the light heavyweight title. Pete and Magnifico both fall to the floor of the ramp, provoking some angry stomps from both Clan members onto the vulnerable Pete and ELM. The bell begins ringing repeatedly, and numerous referees come running out of the back to break up the unnecessary continuance of violence.

NTD: Whoa! Looks like this feud is far from over, Curry Man!

Curry: Got that right, Pantless One. What could we be seeing next from the Miami Menace? And what will the Clan's next move be?

NTD: Ah, who cares? What's the next match on the card?

Curry: Well, next up is more Clan action as Spider Nekura and Thoth take on the Prophet in a handicap match! Should be a lot of fun! And don't forget our spectacular main event tonight, as "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens defends his newly won IGNWF Heavyweight Championship on the line against the incredible Hville Thugg! We've got a lot more to come, so stay tuned! We'll be right back with more IGNWF Storm!

IGNWF Storm fades out into another commercial break.

February 27, 2002

“Welcome back to IGNWF Storm!” says the always over-enthusiastic Curry Man. “If you missed IGNWF From the Fire... then you should watch the encore, which will be shown tomorrow! If you watched it... well... watch the encore anyway, because it just may be the greatest pay-per-view that the IGNWF put on.

“Nine great matches,” adds NTD, tentatively, “...but all the wrong people won! Those damn Carnies won two belts last Sunday!”

“That’s right fans, Edwin MacPhisto is our new 2-time Intercontinental Television Champion, and ‘Grand Slam’ Mark Stevens, once again, the Heavyweight Champion of the World.”

“Bahhhh...” says NTD, trying to dismiss the notion of a dominant Midnight Carnival. “At least the Clan was dominant! Strangler over Munich in that great Death on Ice... Fallout retained again... Thoth beat the stuffing out of Edwin... and Spider Nekura revealed the Prophet to us all!”

“Yes fans, The Prophet, the force behind this so-called Enlightenment, is none other than Tyler McClelland, also known as Outcast, former ICTV champion! Not to mention that his bargaining chip, the wife of IGNWF Commissioner Stubby P. McWeed, Misty, is no longer in his possession, having been safely returned to him by Spider Nekura.”

“As a way to say thank you, Stubby has put, or rather, given the Prophet to the Clan in a handicap match,” says NTD, as the voice of Tyler McClelland speaks over the preliminary chord of Linkin Park’s “By Myself:”

“The Enlightenment is Here...”

KA-BOOM! goes the pyro, as the arena turns red. The music mellows into the bridge of the song, as a man whose previously obscured face, which is now visible, strolls methodically to the ring.

“The following contest is a handicap match!” announces Funyon. “Introducing first, weighing in at 162 pounds... The Prophet!”

“Jesus, is that all?!” remarks NTD. “162 pounds?! Hell, I weigh more than that! Maybe I should return to active competition...”

“No, you shouldn’t, NTD. Not until you put on some pants,” counters Curry Man. The Prophet rolls into the ring, and removes his robe for the first time, kicking it to the side. The crowd gets a good long look at the inner shell of this man, Tyler McClelland. He’s not much to look at; at first glance, some people think he might have jaundice, or some kind of disease. Yet he is a lot more able-bodied than most would think. The mood is interrupted by the darkening of the arena, and intermittent flashing white lights striking the arena. Haunting calls echo off the rafters, and a laughing man’s voice speaks:

“What’s wrong, mother****er, you were a man just a minute ago,”

The bass to “You Were kicks in,” as the crowd prepares, by jeering, for the arrival of the Clan. From the darkness emerge two robed figures.

“And his opponents, at a total combined weight of 467 pounds, they are the I-G-N-W-F Tag Team Champions... Thoth and Spider Nekura, THE CLAN!”

“Though Thoth lost his singles title at From the Fire, he was a double champion prior, so the statement can still be made that every member of the Clan has a championship,” says NTD, informatively. The Clan members walk to ringside, focused, ignoring the jeering and unapproving fans on either side of them. They climb the stairs, and enter the ring, Thoth and Nekura removing their robes. Even before the music fades, Thoth charges at The Prophet, looking to take out some of his frustration, as well as to try and get a leg up on the match. McClelland has his back turned momentarily, which is a mistake that no one should make against the Clan.

*DING DING DING*

The bell rings haphazardly as the Clan’s music fades and the lights quickly come back on. Spider Nekura remains on the outside, watching his protegé connect with one punch, two punches, thrree punc- ...wait a minute, the Prophet, with his uncanny speed, has snuck up behind Thoth, and kicked him in the back of the head before Thoth can get off his third punch! The Balancer whirls around to face his opponent, but the Prophet spins around, trying to sweep Thoth off his feet! The former Outcast’s leg sweeps behind Thoth, tripping him. The Balancer kicks right back up, ready to fight. Unfortuantely for him, he kicks up right back into a fist from the agile Prophet. Thoth reels, holding his face in moderate pain, but moreso in shock. How could it be that The Prophet anticipated his reaciton time? Prophet with an Irish whip; Thoth goes for the ride. The Balancer hits, and Prophet jets from the opposite side, hoping that his speed will overcome his lack of mass. Thoth spins out of the way to the left, hugging the top rope as he escapes the corner. Prophet reads the move, and hops to the right, bouncing off the second rope... and spinning into a moonsault! Thoth turns around, and sees the upside-down frame of Tyler McClelland flying at him, fearlessly and carelessly!

“The Prophet, Tyler McClelland, is wasting no time going on the attack!” exclaims Curry Man. “He’s going to have everything he has if he wants to defeat two of the top members of the Clan!” adds NTD, because he is the color man, and that is what color men do.

The Prophet lands on top of Thoth, and pulls his leg back, while the referee gets down and counts:

ONE!

TWO!

And the ref sees the bottom rope wiggle, due to Thoth pulling on it with his arm. The ref tells the Prophet to break up the pin. Prophet gets up, reluctantly, shouting something at the ref. He pulls Thoth to his feet, and whips him to the other side... reversal by Thoth! Prophet goes for the ride, and gets taken down with a leg clothesline from Thoth on the rebound! The tag champ gets a few stomps in, before bringing him to his feet and hooking both arms for a double-arm DDT! The Prophet bounces into the mat, as Thoth hooks the leg, making the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

And a kickout by the Prophet. Thoth can feel the diminutive 160-pounder’s muscles strain, expand and contract in places, as he escapes the pinfall. Thoth brings Prophet to his his feet, pulling on his hair to do so, and throws a punch, connecting with the side of the cheek. He throws a second blow, but Prophet counters, bringing him arm out and redirecting Thoth’s punch elsewhere. He lands a kick on Thoth’s chest, pushing him back several feet and knocking him on his ass. Thoth grimaces, one eye closed, then looks up at Tyler McClelland. He smiles, nodding, as he gets up to his feet. He wipes the trail of spittle eminating from his mouth off, and holds out his right arm, palm extended, while he tucks his left arm close into his body.

“Looks like Thoth and the Prophet are going to have a little martial-arts battle,” comments Curry Man.

“That style Thoth is using is called Kyokugen-Ryou Tiger Stance! I know this because I went to the IGNWF website at www.ignwf.com! It’s full of great information, and exclusive interviews you won’t find anywhere else!” says NTD, tongue-in cheek. He then pulls his tongue out of his cheek and rests it on his lower jaw.

Thoth approaches his foe, slowly, aware that the man former known as Oucast’s greatest strength is in martial arts. They start moving around each other, trying to find a good position to mount an offense from, or make a move that will cause the other to lose balance suddenly, thereby creating an opening. The arm that Thoth has out in front of him is an insurance policy, a way to test the waters. It also makes him appear to have a longer reach than he actually does. But, Thoth isn’t a martial arts specialist. And the Prophet is. Tyler aims a kick at the inside of Thoth’s arm, pushing it, and Thoth’s body with it, to the right. Thoth loses his balance, stumbling forward on bent knees. Prophet helps him shift his momentum back by kicking him hard in the face. Thoth reels back, and Prophet’s eyes widen as he sees the opening he’s been looking for. Like a hurricane, Tyler McClelland attacks with a flurry of punches, elbows, feet, and knees, backing Thoth all the way to the ropes, across the length of the ring. Whip to the ropes, Thoth runs into them, and comes off the rebound. He ducks a clothesline from his foe, and stop suddenly. He hooks him for a Downward Spiral, and connects! In pain, he crawls over to Spider Nekura, who has his hand out, though he hides whatever eagerness he might have. Tag is made, and Nekura looks down at the fallen Prophet and smirks before ducking his head under the top rope and entering the ring. He lays in a couple of sharp kicks to the back of Tyler’s head before helping the lightning fast combatant to his feet. A whip into the turnbuckles causes the Prophet to stumble out into the center of the ring, gasping for air. Spider steps back slightly and then thrusts his leg into the air with a roundhouse kick…McClelland catches Nekura’s lethal leg, making use of his reflexes, which are second to none. Prophet thrusts Spider’s leg high, trying to throw him onto his back but the high flying sadist manages to push off the canvas, flipping through the air and landing perfectly on his feet in front of his antagonist. The Prophet bolts towards his opponent. Nekura catches him in a Waistlock…and hauls him up and over with a Belly-to-Back Overhead Suplex!

“Nice execution of the Suplex by Spider after that great showing of agility.” NTD praises.

“The two Clansmen are starting to wear the man formerly known as Outcast down.” Observes Curry.

Tyler lands hard on his spine, skidding across the canvas as the crowd cheers slightly at the site of the Prophet taking some punishment. Nekura rushes towards his adversary and hooks the leg…

ONE!

TWO!

T – Prophet gets a shoulder up!

Spider makes it to his feet. Helping McClelland up, Spider then goes about trying to spoil the boyish good-looks of the Prophet, nailing a couple of right hands before whipping him into the ropes. Tyler bounces off the ropes as Nekura spins to his right, thrusting his leg high into the air. The Prophet jumps off his feet and executes a front roll as Nekura’s leg slices through thin air; the remnants of a missed Spinning Back Kick. Tyler is on his feet already as the roll morphs into a sprint. He rebounds off the opposite ropes as a slightly disorientated clansman spins to face his adversary…the Prophet hooks onto Spider’s head, using his own momentum to swing through the air 180 degrees…and plants Nekura’s head into the mat with a skull-fracturing DDT!

“Float-over DDT!” Shouts Curry.

“Oooh…Spider got nailed!” NTD Exclaims.

Nekura’s neck recoils on impact of the DDT, causing his body to momentarily spring back into the air before he topples all the way over and lands on his back! Tyler jumps to his feet and spies his fallen opponent. The Prophet thunders across to him and jumps into the air, crashing down on the back of Spider’s head with a snap Elbow Drop! Nekura’s face rebounds off the hard canvas, dazing him. The Enlightened One then rolls the Sadistic One onto his front and covers him as the ref slides in to make the count…

ONE!

TWO!

TH – Thoth ducks his head under the ropes, ready to make the save but spider kicks out!

The Prophet gets to his feet, dragging Spider up with him using a fistful of thick black hair. Prophet thrusts his leg into the Clansman’s mid section, forcing the cultist to double over in pain. Tyler grabs sinks on a ¾ facelock and looks to the turnbuckles. He runs, pulling an unwilling Spider along with him and then bounds up onto the first turnbuckle. Second. Third. He jumps off, adjusting his body positioning in mid air for the Acid Drop and…

Spider throws him off! McClelland hits the mat with a thud but gets to his feet as Nekura advances…he grabs the Prophet by the inside of his left leg while weaving his head under the left arm of the man formerly known as Outcast…

“Spider’s going for the Stigmata!” Cries NTD, anticipating the move.

Nekura grits his teeth and lifts the Prophet off his feet, twisting him over his shoulder…Tyler wriggles loose of Spider and lands behind him! The sadist spins around…SMACK! A right hook to Spider’s temple…

SMACK! A left hook…

SMACK! Nekura’s head is thrown violently to the side as each blow is hit, his eyes rolled back into their sockets before the Clansman finally drops to the mat in a crumpled heap after the third and final strike; a devastating roundhouse kick to the temple.

“FORCEFUL INDOCTRINATION!!” Bellows Curry.

“Indoctri-wha?” Frowns NTD as the Prophet hooks Nekura’s leg for the inevitable three count. The ref begins the count…

ONE!

TWO!

THREE – NO! Thoth breaks it up with a kick!

Prophet gets to his feet to face Thoth as Nekura manages to roll out of the ring and onto the concrete floor, his head in his hands. Meanwhile Thoth has caught Prophet off-guard as he spins to face him, plucking the lightweight off his feet and into the air for the Riot of the Blood! The slippery Prophet manages to slide down over Thoth’s back, just as he had done to Nekura moments before. Thoth, however, is ready and nails a kick into McClelland’s bread basket! Tyler doubles over and the Balancer hooks both arms…back body drop by the Prophet! Thoth quickly gets to his feet but is met by two straight jabs, one of which is partially deflected by the Balancer’s forearm. The second blow hits its mark and Thoth staggers back, momentarily stunned. Prophet now throws another punch snapping through the air with the ferocity of a cobra. The punch grazes the side of the Balancer’s head!

“That’s the Wind Chill by the Prophet!” Curry states.

“You mean that missed punch has a name?” Questions NTD.

Thoth clutches the side of his head as the stinging sensation caused by the Wind Chill seeps into his body. The Prophet takes a step back and then springs into the air. All Thoth sees is the blur of his opponent as Tyler kicks his leg into the air. The boot connects directly with Thoth’s chin…Superkick! The Balancer crashes to the mat and stops dead, seemingly unconscious. McClelland is already making for the corner of the ring. He ascends the turnbuckles, taking in deep breaths, preparing himself to deliver the fatal attack. The Prophet reaches the top turnbuckles and is met by a boo from the crowd as he extends his arms into the air. Prophet glances down at Nekura on the outside; still down. The Prophet then leaps off the top turnbuckle, using his extended arms to flip himself through the air as he plummets down to Earth with the velocity of a meteor!

“THE PROPHET LANDS THE SACRIFICE ON THOTH!” Cries Curry.

“Holy pantless enlightened ones, Curry Man!” NTD Shouts.

The shear impact of the 450 Splash rockets the Prophet back into the air before he lands on the mat next to the Clansman! Thoth begins to convulse on the canvas, holding his stomach tightly. The Prophet begins to get to his feet, a grimace on his features as he rubs his sore ribs. The grimace suddenly breaks into a sickly grin as he watches the body of his opponent twitch on the mat. He pumps his arms into the air as the crowd respond with boos and more hostile noise. Suddenly a slight cheer goes up as the Prophet takes a step back…straight into Spider Nekura’s deadly clutches! The partially recovered Clansman emits a growl of pure determination as he twists the Prophet into the air and spins him over his shoulders…STIGMATA!!

“BLARGH!” NTD grunts, wincing at the sight of the move.

“IT’S OVER!” Yells Curry.

The Prophet’s lifeless body crumples to the mat after the brutal driver variation and the fans cheer at the awesome visual. Nekura leans forward and pins the Prohet’s shoulder to the canvas…

ONE!

The crowd erupts into boos as a cloaked and hooded figure sprints through the crowd at lightning pace, wielding a steel chair!

TWO!

The figure jumps over the crowd barrier and slithers into the ring.

“Wait a minute…” Begins Curry. “Is that Enlightenment or Clan?”

THREE – SMACK! The assailant dents the steel chair over Nekura’s head!

The ref takes one look at the blood which is now flowing onto the canvas from Spider’s head and calls for the bell…

* DING DING DING *

“The ref’s called for the bell!” Exclaims Curry. “It’s over!”

The assailant, presumably the Saviour, pushes Nekura’s carcass off of the Prophet’s battered frame. Thoth begins to pull himself up to his feet, courtesy of the ring ropes as the Saviour begins the task of reviving his protégé.

“The winner of this match via disqualification…” Bellows Funyon from the outside. “SPIDER NEKURA AND THOTH…THE CLAN!!”

The Saviour manages to wake up the Prophet and makes it to his feet. He turns around but walks straight into Thoth who scoops him up off the mat…

“RIOT OF THE BLOOD!!” Screams NTD.

The Saviour’s head is compressed into the hard mat as the Balancer nails his patented cradle Tombstone! The Saviour drops to the canvas, his hood still hung over his head, restricting view to his face. A huge cheer goes up from the crowd as Thoth makes it to his feet and ‘You Were’ thunders from the arena’s loudspeakers. Thoth zigzags his way towards his fellow Clansman and grabs him by the wrists before sliding under the bottom rope and pulling Spider out onto the concrete. Nekura manages to stand, albeit extremely shakily. Back in the ring the Prophet gets to one knee and tries to shake the ringing from his head. He gazes towards the two Clansmen who are now making their ways up the ramp, victorious in controversial circumstances. He snarls.

“The Clan have won this handicap match by disqualification when the Saviour interfered!” Summarises Curry.

“I’m not sure this is exactly how Stubby wanted this to go.” Says NTD. “The Clan won, but they certainly didn’t decimate the Prophet.”

“True.” Curry agrees. “Well, now we have to take a commercial break, but we’ll be back when Neilsen of the Jungle…”

“That’s Neilsen of MY Jungle, Curry.” NTD corrects.

“Ok…takes on Suicide King to find out who the true King really is! Stay Tuned!”

The IGNWF cameras leave us with a picture of the Prophet kneeled over the Saviour in the ring, a snarl pasted on his features before the screen fades to black, prepared for the influx of commercials…

February 27, 2002

IGNWF Storm returns to televisions all around the world, but before the fans can even get started, the arena lights shut off, blanketing the arena in darkness. A sadistic laugh is followed by an electric guitar as a red/orange line glows on the ground in front of the entrance. The fans, already aware of the entrance theme begin to fill the arena with boos as the guitar enters its second frame.

<Curry> Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Storm…and what an historic Storm it has been!

<NTD Oh, but not nearly as historic as what’s about to come up!

“They don’t know”

“Who we be!”

<Curry> No truer words have ever come out of your mouth NTD. We’ve been talking about it all night, but finally, the moment has come. Grand Slam Mark Stevens will defend his newly won IGNWF title against…

“They don’t know”

“Who we be!”

<NTD> Hold your ears Curry!

“What they don’t know is…”

BOOM!

Fire erupts from the line in front of the stage, and a wall of fire illumates the stage and surrounding area. From behind the fire, a large shadowed figure moves to the forefront, sending the crown into a frenzy of boos, curses, and downright hatred.

<Curry> …against this mammoth beast! The Hville Thugg!!! Arguably the most dominant force in the IGNWF! The 7’2” beast from DC…the angry black man!

<NTD> What ever you want to call him, he’s still the most fierce competitor in the federation, and he will be Steven’s greatest challenge to date.

<Funyon> Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the IGNWF World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first, from Washington, DC…weighing in at 450 pounds…THE HVVIIIIIILLEEEE THHUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGG!!!!

The fan’s response to HVT’s name nearly shakes the arena to pieces as their hatred for the angry Black man is unparalleled in this world. HVT completely ignores them as he begins his march down to the ring.

<Curry> Agreed there NTD, but let’s not question Mark Steven’s abilities to get the job done. No one thought he could win the Clusterfuck. No one thought he could defeat the Suicide King for the title…but he did both! You can’t ever discount Steven’s heart, determination, and skills.

HVT reaches the ring, and pulls himself to the apron before easily stepping over the top rope into the ring. Once inside, Thugg walks over near the far ropes and turns to face the entrance with a look of menace on his face.

<NTD> I can agree with you there my spicy friend! Stevens is a hell of a competitor, but heart and determination don’t match up against Thugg’s power, strength, and pure rage. Look at Xstasy, probably the most fearless competitor we know. He’s got more heart than anyone, but look what Thugg did to him at From The Fire.

<Curry> That was the work of Jay Dawg and Da Pound NTD, and you know it!

<NTD> Hey, we know that in this business you gotta watch your back because you never know what’s going to happen.

The lights go out once again, and some fans start to cheer before…

::Crack!!!::

The fans absolutely explode into what some might consider an extinction level event.

<Curry> And here he comes! The IGNWF World Champion….Grand Slam Mark Stevens! Just listen to this capacity crowd! Listen to the ovation for the Heavy Hitter!

The opening bass of "Born Bad" by the Gone Jackals hits the speakers and the IGNTron lights up with baseball highlights mixed with big spots from Grand Slam's matches while flashing the words "Grand Slam", "The Heavy Hitter" and "Midnight Carnival". The various multicolored lights flash in time with the rhythmic bass of the song until the first guitar riff when the arena is flooded with bright white light!! Red and white pyro explodes at the top of the entrance ramp!! When the smoke clears and everyone

can see again, "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens is standing underneath the IGNTron!!!

<Curry> They love their IGNWF champion here in Philadelphia!!

<Funyon> And his opponent…from Lincoln, Nebraska…weighing in at 287 pounds….He is the IGNWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION….THE HEAVY HITTER…GRANDSLAM MAAAAARRRRKKKKKK STEEEEEVVVEEEEEENNNNSSSSS!!!

Stevens breaks into a sprint, running down the ramp and slapping a few hands along the way. The camera zooms in to show Stevens wearing a Phillies’ baseball cap as the Heavy Hitter steps over the top rope and into the ring. The referee steps in front of HVT as Stevens moves to the near right corner, climbs to the second turnbuckle and pumps his fist in the air. Thousands of flash bulbs light up the arena as Stevens removes his cap and tosses it into the front row, where a small boy no older than 8 catches it with a huge smile. As the boy hugs his father, Mark jumps down from the turnbuckle and then turns towards HVT who is waiting patiently behind the referee.

<Curry> Oh, what a contest this is going to be! The IGNWF Title is going to be decided right now!

<NTD> I can’t wait!

The referee takes the belt from Grand Slam, holds it in the air, and passes it to an attendant on the outside.

DING DING DING

<Curry> Here we go!

Stevens and HVT meet in the center of the ring, and as they stand face to face, the tension rises throughout the arena. The two superstars stare into each other’s eyes, waiting for the other to make the first move.

<NTD> Just feel the tension!

<Curry> These two don’t have the history of say Thugg/Xstasy or King/Stevens, but in a match such as this, with so much on the line, who needs history!

After a few moments of staring, Thugg raises his right hand in the air, but never relinquishing his stare on Stevens. Stevens glances up at the hand, and then back at Thugg’s eyes. Then he looks out at the crowd, who scream for Stevens to take the challenge, then back to the raised hand, and then back to Thugg’s face.

<Curry> Thugg is challenging Stevens here…challenging him to a test of strength.

<NTD> Hmmm, if I were Mark, I wouldn’t do that. There’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that Thugg’s the stronger of the two.

<Curry> I couldn’t agree with you more. There is no way that Mark Stevens could win a test of strength against HVT.

However, against the advice of Curry and NTD, Stevens reluctantly grabs Thugg’s hand, but he is immediately staggered by a hard right hand to the face by Thugg.

<Curry> Thugg with a cheap shot!

<NTD> Cheap shot? This is a match isn’t it? Aren’t they supposed to fight?

HVT sends Stevens back even more with several more right hands to the head as the fans boo Thugg’s cheap shot.

<Curry> Yes it is, but Thugg lured Stevens in with a simple test of strength. It’s called sportsmanship, and Thugg knows nothing about it.

The right hands have backed Stevens up against the near ropes, and an Irish Whip sends the Heavy Hitter bouncing off the far ropes. Stevens barrels towards HVT, but is dropped suddenly by a hard back elbow to the head by HVT.

<Curry> Thugg with the elbow, and Stevens is down early.

<NTD> I hope he’s comfortable there because he’ll probably be spending a lot of time there tonight.

Stevens holds his head for a second, and then gets to his feet with his back to HVT. HVT sends Stevens back down to one knee with a hard forearm to the back, and then down to the mat completely with a boot to the back.

<Curry> Thugg is all over Stevens here in the early going, laying into Grand Slam with those hard stomps.

HVT continues to stomp on Stevens’s back and head as he attempts to cover up. After several hard stomps, HVT grabs the Heavy Hitter by the hair and lifts him to his feet. He pushes Stevens against the far rope, and flings him towards the near ropes. Stevens rebounds and heads straight for HVT, but Stevens ducks under a Thugg clothesline and bounces off the far ropes. After rebounding off the far ropes, Stevens leaps into the air, turns his body horizontal, and just as HVT turns to face him, Stevens collides with HVT, chest to chest.

<Curry> And back comes the Heavy Hitter! Cross body on Thugg…WAIT!

Upon further inspection however, HVT doesn’t fall over from the Flying Cross Body, but instead, catches Grand Slam!

<Curry> He caught him! Thugg just caught Grand Slam’s Cross Body!!

HVT spins in place about 180 degrees, and then falls to his back, releasing Stevens on his way down!

<NTD> …And he goes for the ride!

<Curry> Fall Away Slam!

Grand Slam goes skidding across the mat towards the far ropes, and when he comes to a stop, Stevens holds his back in pain! HVT gets up quickly, makes his way over to Stevens, and drops down for the cover!

<Curry> Thugg with the cover!!

ONE!

TWO…..NO!

<Curry> NO! Grand Slam gets his shoulder up, just in time too.

<NTD> One second! Just one second away from a new world champion!

After shooting his left shoulder off the mat, Stevens rolls away from Thugg, who gets to his feet. Stevens get to his knees, and when Thugg moves to grab him, Grand Slam throws a hard right hand right into Thugg’s face.

<Curry> Oh! Back comes the Heavy Hitter!

HVT staggers from the blow a bit as Stevens gets to his feet, and when HVT charges again, Stevens delivers another hard blow to Thugg’s head, sending the beast back on his heels. The fans come alive with each blow to Thugg’s head as HVT backs up all the way to the near ropes.

<Curry> Now the champ is all over the challenger with right hands! Looks like the momentum is shifting in favor of the Heavy Hitter!

With HVT’s back against the near ropes, Stevens attempts to whip the huge Thugg, which proves to be a huge mistake. HVT reverses the whip and sends Stevens to the far ropes again. HVT attempts to level Grand Slam with a huge clothesline, but Stevens ducks, side steps, locks on a full nelson, and then slams HVT forward, face first onto the mat!

<Curry> GRAND SLAM!! Mark Stevens with that huge Grand Slam!

The fans explode from the maneuver as Grand slam rolls Thugg over and makes the cover!

<Curry> And Stevens with the cover!

ONE!

TWO……NO!

<Curry> NO! Thugg kicks out, but what an exchange from Grand Slam! Thugg is in trouble right now. He better get it together quickly if he wants to get over on the champ.

Stevens gets to his feet, as does HVT, and Grand Slam grabs him by the cornrows. Mark drags the former champ over to the far left corner and delivers a hard right hadn to keep Thugg at bay. Stevens places Thugg’s arms across the ropes, exposing his chest for…

SMACK!

“Oooo!”

“SMACK!”

“Oooo!”

<Curry> Grand Slam with those knife-edge chops!! Damn, you can hear them all the way over here.

<NTD> Those are some thunderous chops from Stevens…but he’s got to think bigger than that when you’re fighting the Thugg. Chops just aren’t gonna get it done.

Stevens delivers a few more chops to HVT’s chest before attempting yet another whip. HVT reverses Stevens’s whip, sending the Heavy Hitter crashing into near right turnbuckle. HVT runs in, but is met with an elbow to the head that sends HVT stumbling backwards.

<Curry> Elbow to the face by Stevens, and…

HVT turns away from Stevens holding his head, and Stevens walks out of the corner, turns so he and Thugg are standing back to back, and then drops the angry black man with a Falling Neckbreaker!

<Curry> …right into a Falling Neckbreaker!

Stevens quickly crawls into position and makes the cover on Thugg.

ONE!

<NTD> Cover by Stevens!

TWO!!

THR….NO!

<Curry> NO! Thugg with the kick out!

<NTD> It’s always tough to pin Thugg because he’s so damn strong.

Stevens rolls away and gets to his feet as Thugg staggers to his knees and stumbles to his feet. Stevens moves towards HVT and starts laying into the beast with punches, but HVT takes both his hands and claps them together with Steven’s head in between.

<NTD> Ahhh, here we go.

<Curry> Ear clap from Thugg…wait, I thought that was illegal?

<NTD> Guess not.

<Curry> Hmmm…

Stevens back away from HVT, holding his head on both sides, and HVT runs over and drops Stevens with a tremendous clothesline.

<Curry> Whoa! Did you see that clothesline by Thugg??

<NTD> Damn, that was probably the most wicked clothesline I’ve ever seen!

Stevens’s head hits the mat from the clothesline, and he immediately grabs his head in pain. Thugg moves to Stevens, grabs him by the hair, and lifts the Heavy Hitter to his feet. He puts Grand Slam into a front face lock, lifts him, and falls backwards, executing the textbook suplex!

<Curry> Suplex from Thugg…

Stevens arches his back in pain as HVT gets back to his feet. HVT lays into Stevens with a few stomps before lifting the Carnie back to his feet and whipping him to the far ropes. Stevens rebounds off the far ropes and runs right into the huge foot of HVT!

<NTD> OH!! What a boot to the face!

<Curry> Damn, Big Boot from Thugg…

<NTD> Stevens might need some plastic surgery after that one!

HVT confidently drops to his knees and places both hands on Stevens’s chest for the pin…

<Curry> Thugg with the cover…

ONE!!

TWO!!

<Curry> We could have a new champ right…..NO! Stevens gets that shoulder up! I’s like to think that Thugg would have gotten the pin if he hooked the leg.

<NTD> Well, when you’re the Hville Thugg, you can do that.

<Curry> Well, it didn’t work this time.

HVT gets to his feet, grabbing Stevens by the hair and lifting him as well, and then flinging the champion into the far left corner. Grand Slam hits back first into the turnbuckle, but only has seconds to recover as HVT runs in and sandwiches Stevens against the turnbuckle with a splash!

<Curry> OH! 450 pounds slamming into Stevens there. That’s gotta knock the wind out of the champ.

HVT grabs Stevens, and whips him again, this time to the near right corner. Stevens hits the turnbuckle again, and HVT delivers another splash to the Heavy Hitter. HVT takes a step away as Stevens looks limp in the corner with his arms up on the ropes. HVT rears back his huge hand, and…

SMACK!!

“Oooo!”

SMACK!!

“Oooo!”

<Curry> Ouch! Thugg with those patented open handed slaps to the chest.

<NTD> Damn…just look at the size of Thugg’s hands! You know what they say about big hands…

SMACK!

<Curry> No, what?

<NTD> Ummmm…the better to slap you with? Ha ha ha ha!

<Curry> Not even close to funny.

HVT takes a step back, then grabs Stevens by the neck with both hands and throws him out of the corner. HVT, as quickly as a man his size can, steps out to the apron and climbs to the top of the near right turnbuckle.

<Curry> Wait! What’s Thugg doing??

The referee seems to be wondering the same thing as he moves over to the corner. As the referee pleads with HVT to get down, Stevens staggers to his feet. HVT, from the top, sweeps the referee out of the way, but unfortunately for him, Stevens bursts from his staggered trance. He runs to the near right corner, leaps up to the second turnbuckle, grabs underneath HVT’s arms, and then throws the big man backwards off the top turnbuckle!!

<Curry> OH MY GOD!! What a suplex by Grand Slam Mark Stevens! What a high impact maneuver, throwing Thugg from that top rope! Oh my god!! What a display of strength and agility from the Heavy Hitter!! He just suplexed the 450 pound Thugg off the top rope!!

<NTD> OH COME ON! The referee got in Thugg’s way! That’s not fair and you know it!

<Curry> Thugg shouldn’t have been up there in the first place. Look how huge he is.

HVT skids to a halt near the center of the ring as Stevens stumbles to his feet, still feeling the effects of the match. The fans cheer the Heavy Hitter as he staggers over to HVT, drops down, and makes the cover!

<Curry> And Stevens has the cover!

ONE!

<Curry> This could be…

TWO!

<Curry> …it right here………

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE……NO!!!

<Curry> …NO! Thugg just barely gets his shoulder up! Whew, Stevens nearly had him there. Just milliseconds from retaining his IGNWF title!

<NTD> Oh my, that was close! Did you see that suplec from Stevens?!? Holy cow! Thugg is 450 pounds and Stevens just suplexed him off the top rope!

Stevens slaps the mat with a bit of frustration, feeling as though he just missed an opportunity to put HVT away.

<NTD> Stevens is looking impressive tonight, but I don’t know how many opportunities he’s going to have like that last one. He’s got to capitalize on his chances because Thugg doesn’t give you many chances to win.

<Curry> That’s correct NTD, but from the looks of things, Grand Slam is in firm control of this match.

Stevens gets to his feet, and then he grabs Thugg and lifts him as well, but a quick thrust to the throat puts Thugg back on the offensive. Stevens stumbles backwards from the throat thrust, and then turns his back to Thugg.

<Curry> Shot to the throat by Thugg, knocking the wind out of the champion.

HVT sees the opportunity and moves in to seize it. HVT approaches Grand Slam from behind, wraps one arm under his chin and the other across his forehead, locking a sleeper hold on Mark Stevens.

<Curry> Thugg with the sleeper on Grand Slam.

<NTD> Smart move from Thugg here, slowing this match down to his speed. Now Thugg can use his power and strength to wear Stevens down.

However, before Thugg can really get it locked in, Stevens reaches up, grabs Thugg by the head, and then drops down to the mat. As Stevens’s backside hits the mat, HVT’s chin slams onto the top of Stevens’s head, sending Thugg back upright and holding his chin.

<Curry> No he’s not! Stevens with the Jaw Breaker….

Stevens gets to his feet quickly, moves to the staggering HVT, and delivers a kick to Thugg’s abdomen. HVT doubles over from the blow as Stevens locks in a Front Face Lock, and then Stevens drops his head to the mat with a ferocious DDT!!!

<Curry> …DDT!!! What a DDT from Mark Stevens!!! Driving Thugg’s head right into the canvas!!

The crowd explodes into a frenzy as they feel the end is near for the hated Thugg, and their hero, Mark Stevens, is about to retain his title. HVT’s head hits the canvas and then he bounces over onto his back while Mark Stevens climbs over and makes the cover.

<Curry> This could be it right here!! Stevens with the cover!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…………….NOOOOOO!!!!

<Curry> OHHHHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOO!! Thugg gets that shoulder up again, just in time! Just inches away…just inches away. Mark Stevens was just inches away from disposing of the Hville Thugg!!

<NTD> Oh my god! How close was that?? Stevens has got to really be feeling frustrated now. He’s got to be getting frustrated that he can’t put Thugg away here.

The fans let out a collective “Ohhhh” as HVT shoots his arm in the air and the referee jumps up holding 2 fingers in the air. Mark Stevens hold his head and slaps the mat in anger.

<Curry> I think you might be right NTD. Stevens looks extremely frustrated. He was so very close, but he can’t waste time being angry. He’s gotta stay on Thugg…keep Thugg down and put him away.

Stevens breathes a deep sigh and then slowly gets to his feet.

<NTD> Hmmmm, looks like fatigue might be setting in here for Grand Slam. We’re 24 minutes into this match, and Stevens is really looking winded.

Stevens rests with his hands on his knees as HVT starts to slowly get to his feet. Stevens sees Thugg up and moves in to make his move. Stevens closes in as HVT staggers all the way to his feet, but when Stevens moves in close…..

SLAP!

<Curry> Wait!!

…HVT reaches out and grabs Stevens around the neck with his right hand!!

Stevens grabs Thugg’s hand, but he’s too late because Thugg desperately lifts Stevens, spins in a circle, and slams Stevens to the canvas with a spinning Chokeslam!!

<NTD> UNTAMED!! UNTAMED!! HE HIT IT!!

<Curry> Stevens walked right into it!!! What a costly mistake by the Heavy Hitter!

After slamming Stevens down, HVT falls to the canvas as well, still ailing from Stevens’s previous domination, and now both men are down!

<Curry> And both men are down! I can’t believe Stevens made a mistake like that. That could have cost him the IGNWF Title.

<NTD> Well, you know what I always tell you. All it takes is one…just one mistake for Thugg to destroy you. Stevens knows that now.

<Curry> Well, both men are down, and the ref begins his ten count.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

<NTD> Now, whoever can put together enough energy to get to his feet first will be at a significant advantage to take this match.

FOUR!

FIVE!

SIX!

<Curry> But who’s it gonna be??

The fans start to really get behind Grand Slam and start chanting, “GRAND SLAM! GRAND SLAM!”

SEVEN!

EIGHT!

However, despite the crowd’s chants, HVT starts to move first by rolling over to his stomach.

NINE!

HVT gets to all fours, and then slowly crawls over and drapes an arm across Mark Stevens!

<NTD> It’s going to be Thugg!

<Curry> He’s got the cover! This could be it right here!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

The fans start to boo.

<Curry> Thugg’s going to be two time….

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE……NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

<Curry> …NO!!

The fans explode as Stevens shoots his left arm off the canvas and the ref jumps up holding 2 again.

<Curry> STEVENS GETS HIS SHOULDER UP! THE MATCH CONTINUES!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!

<NTD> You can’t believe it?? I can’t believe it! I thought for sure Thugg was going to win there!

As Stevens gets his shoulder up, HVT rolls off and hold his head in frustration much like Stevens did earlier.

<Curry> Thugg can’t believe it either! He thought it was over right there, but this match goes on!

HVT rolls away and slowly rises to his feet, meanwhile, Stevens starts to rise as well. Stevens gets up, and he and HVT meet in the center of the ring. HVT lunges in with a hard right hand that connects with Stevens’s jaw and sends him reeling. However, Stevens launches a lunging punch of his own that connects and sends HVT staggering!

<Curry> Oh here we go! Stevens and Thugg are brawling in the center of the ring.

<NTD> That’s not good for Stevens. He can’t beat Thugg in a brawl, and he knows it.

Punch by Thugg….punch by Stevens…punch by Thugg….punch by Stevens…punch by Thugg…punch by Thugg…punch by Thugg! The punches send Stevens stumbling backwards to the near ropes, and HVT pushes him against the near ropes and whips Grand Slam to the far ropes. Stevens comes running back and HVT swings a clothesline that catches nothing but air. Stevens ducks the clothesline and comes to a stop behind HVT. HVT turns around, but only to meet a boot to the midsection that forces him to double over. Stevens places HVT in a standing head scissors and the fans go nuts!

<Curry> Duck by Stevens, and…..HE’S GOT HIM SET UP!!

Stevens twirls his finger in the air, but before he can execute the Walk Off, HVT stands up with his head still between Stevens’s legs. With Stevens on his back, HVT holds Grand Slam’s legs, and then uses his own shoulders as a pivot to flip Stevens over and slam him with a crucial Spinebuster!!

<Curry> NO! Counter by Thugg…and SPINEBUSTER!!!

<NTD> WHOA!! What a Spinebuster by Thugg! Did you see Stevens’s head bounce off the canvas!!

HVT stumbles forward as Stevens rolls on the mat holding his head. HVT grabs Stevens by the hair and lifts him back to his jelly-like feet. HVT turns him so that Stevens’s back is to him, and then grabs him to for an Inverted DDT, but before he can bend Stevens over, Grand Slam throws his leg back and it connects right between Thugg’s legs!!

<Curry> LOW BLOW!!

<NTD> THAT’S CHEATING!!! LOW BLOW BY GRAND SLAM!!

<Curry> I guess the ref didn’t see it, or maybe he doesn’t want to disqualify Stevens and let him retain the belt like that.

Regardless of why the ref didn’t DQ Stevens, the blow forces HVT to release Stevens and double over yet again. Stevens puts Thugg in another standing head scissors, and this time, opts not to do his patented signal, and instead just drops down to his knees, slamming Thugg’s head with a bone shattering Pedigree!!

<Curry> WALK OFF!! WALK OFF!! STEVENS HAS DONE IT! HE HIT THE WALK OFF ON THUGG AND THIS ONE IS OVER!!!

<NTD> GODDAMMIT!!

Stevens falls to all fours to rest, but before he can even make the cover, the fans cheers turn to boos as who should appear running full speed down the ramp….none other than….JAY DAWG!!

<Curry> JAY DAWG!! IT’S JAY DAWG! What the f**k is he doing down here?

<NTD> Isn’t it obvious? He’s come down to get Thugg’s back. That’s the nature of Da Pound.

JD comes flying down the ramp and slides into the ring. However, Stevens is ready for him, and when JD jumps to his feet, Stevens grabs him by the back of the head, runs to the far ropes, and launches the former LHW champ over the top rope! Some fans cheer and other laugh as JD skids across the floor and his head hits the announce table!

<Curry> Ha ha ha ha! Stevens just disposed of Jay Dawg in one fell swoop!

<NTD> I would say something here, but….well…just but.

Stevens has one last look at JD, and then quickly moves to HVT, drops down, and covers the giant!

<Curry> HERE IT IS…MARK STEVENS HAS DEFEATED THE HVILLE THUGG!!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE….NO!!!

<Curry> WAIT A SECOND!!! IT’S THE SUICIDE KING! THE SUICIDE KING JUST PULLED THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!

Sure enough, King came through the crowd, jumped the barrier, and pulled the referee out of the ring just before three. In King’s hand is….

POW!

<Curry> OH THIS IS JUST HEINOUS! THE SUICIDE KING JUST HIT THE REFEREE WITH THE ACE OF CLUBS!!! WHAT KIND OF MAN IS KING??

<NTD> Wow…that was unexpected.

As the fans boo the dastardly acts of the former world champ, King slides into the ring and jumps to his feet just as Grand Slam gets to his, wondering why he hasn’t won the match. When Stevens turns to meet eyes with King, his lights are turned out with a thunderous shot to the head with the Ace Of Clubs!

<Curry> King! The Suicide King just layed out Mark Stevens with that goddamn bat! First the referee…now Stevens! What the hell is wrong with him??

Also, it seems that HVT has finally come to, but when he gets to his feet, he is dropped by yet another shot from King with the Ace Of Clubs!!

<Curry> GODDAMMIT!! KING IS ASSAULTING EVERYONE! THAT GODDAMNED KING HAS JUST LAYED OUT EVERYONE IN THIS MATCH! SON OF A BITCH!

<NTD> Oh come on King. This is a match…this was a match…

King screams at the participants in the ring as the fans start to throw things at him from their seats. King then slowly steps out of the ring, and starts to back up the ramp, still shouting all the way. However, when he gets about halfway up the ramp, the fans’ boos are suddenly switched to cheers as King is dropped face first to the floor by a Bulldog from…………………………….XSTASY!!!

<Curry> WAIT! NOW IT’S XSTASY!! THIS MATCH IS DISSOLVING INTO CHAOS!! IT’S GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL!

<NTD> See, now this is too much. What’s Xstasy doing here?

<Curry> Saving the world from bastards like the Suicide King!

Xstasy leaves King face down on the ramp and runs down to the ring. Once there, X slides in, jumps up to the top of the near left turnbuckle and faces the crowd.

<Curry> WAIT!

<NTD> NO!

Xstasy throws up his hands, forming an “x” and making the fans go absolutely wild, and then jumps off backwards. In the air, X does a forward flip, and then lands stomach first on the Hville Thugg!!

<Curry> XSTATIC!! XSTATIC ON THUGG!!! Xstasy has come for his vengence!

<NTD> Son of a bitch! Xstasy has no business being down here! He lost his shot at Thugg last week…

Xstasy, much to the crowd’s delight, grabs Stevens and drapes his arm across the chest of the lifeless Thugg. Then, Xstasy moves to the outside and attempts to stir the referee.

<NTD> Now this isn’t right! Xstasy has cost the Hville Thugg the World Title!

<Curry> No worse than King or Jay Dawg coming down here…

Xstasy tries feverishly to revive the referee, and when all attempts fail, Xstasy just grabs him and drapes him on the ring apron. X takes the ref’s hand and reaches under the ropes with it, raising it up to do the unthinkable.

<Curry> Xstasy is going to use the ref’s hand to count himself. This is unheard of!

<NTD>Yes, and unfair as well!

X bring the ref’s hand down….

ONE!!

The crowd cheers loudly as X brings the ref’s hand down again.

TWO!

<Curry> Here it is. I don’t know if it’s legal or if it’ll stand up tomorrow, but here…..

THREEEEEEEEEEEE…..NO!!!!

<Curry> NOOOOOO!!! SPEAR FROM JAY DAWG!!! JAY DAWG CAME OUT OF NO WHERE AND JUST SPEARED XSTASY STRAIGHT TO HELL!!

The sound of hatred from the fans cannot even be described in words as JD straddles the Perfect Drug and begins to pummel him with punches. Meanwhile, King comes too and stumbles over to the apron where he slides into the ring.

<Curry> Oh come on! This is absurd! This match should be thrown out!

King moves past the referee, who seems be showing motion, and goes directly to Stevens, who is staggering to his feet. Stevens gets to his feet and King moves to the left of him, grabs his arm, locks in a half nelson, and drives Stevens’s face to the mat!

<NTD> JOKER’S WILD!! KING WITH THE JOKER’S WILD!!

<Curry> What a despicable human being!!

King quickly hops over the tope rope on the left side high tails it through the crowd, meanwhile, Xstasy has gotten JD over and the two have rolled up the ramp a ways.

Inside the ring, HVT shows some slight signs of motion as he drapes his own huge arm over Stevens’s lifeless body just as the referee conveniently comes to.

<Curry> This just isn’t right!! This is just plain wrong! I can’t believe what I’m seeing!

The referee groggily raises his hand and begins his extremely slow count.

ONE!!

Xstasy sees this out of the corner of his eye and attempts to disengage JD. X knocks JD down and makes a sprint to the ring…

TWO!

X is there and tries to slide under the ropes, but something’s holding him back……………..JAY DAWG!!!!!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

DING DING DING

X kicks JD off and slides in completely, but he’s too late. JD runs to the left side and pull HVT under the bottom rope to safety.

<Curry> I’m speechless! I can’t believe Stevens is going to lose the world title like this! The match descend into chaos, and then King costs the Heavy Hitter the match! Ridiculous!

“Who We Be” plays over the speakers as X hops to his feet inside the ring as HVT and JD stagger to the ramp. All three exchange words as HVT and JD back up the ramp.

<Funyon> The winner….AND NEW IGNWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…..THE HVVIIIIILLLLEEEEE TTHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGG!!

<Curry> Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve seen some of the most horrible acts by some of the most vile human beings here tonight. The Hville Thugg has regained the IGNWF title, but the way that is happened was absolutely despicable! We’re nearly out of time, so check out our next show for……

Suddenly, the whole arena descends into darkness.

<Curry> WAIT! What’s going on?

<NTD> Who turned out the lights?

“Let the bodies hit the floor!”

<Curry> Wait…that’s….that’s…

“Let the bodies hit the floor!”

<NTD> Yes. That…..

“Let the bodies hit the……………..FLLOOOOOOORRRRRRRR!!”

With that, the lights return and the boos ring out!

<NTD> SACRED!!!!

With the house lights back on, Sacred is standing in the ring directly behind Xstasy, brandishing a steel chair!

<Curry> It’s Sacred! But what’s he doing out here???

On the outside, HVT and JD simply smile at X, who turns around…………AND IS OBLITERATED BY SACRED WITH THE STEEL CHAIR TO THE HEAD!!

<Curry> HOLY SHIT!! SACRED JUST CREAMED XSTASY WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR!! OH MY GOD!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE??

HVT and JD let out a laugh as Sacred tosses the chair aside and just looks angrily at X, who is lying motionless on the mat. HVT and JD return to the ring where they grab Sacred’s hand and thrust it to the sky, sending the fans into a riot.

<NTD> Oh, this is great! Does this mean what I think it means?

<Curry> I don’t know…we’ll just have to find out on our next broadcast!

“My Niggas” by DMX hits the speakers as Sacred continues to stare angrily at X and the fans begin to shower the three with garbage. A final shot of the Hville Thugg, Jay Dawg, and Sacred standing side by side in the ring is shown before IGNWF Storm cuts to commercial...

February 27, 2002

The main event is over and done and everyone has returned backstage, but for some reason the music starts blaring, the lights flash, and the brand new colorless splash is shown on the huge screen above a steel entry ramp. With industrial coldness, man after man is shown. Men who accomplish feats of nigh impossibility. High falls, outstanding moves, and familiar trademarks. The rivalries, the friendships, and the battles are all touched upon in time with The Music, a heart pulsing wave of battlefield hooves and screeching throats, personified by drums and guitars. Then, perhaps the most important portraits of all- men with leather, men with gold, men with the prizes, at the top of the game. Until suddenly, the screen is virtually broken into shards, and only three letters remain:

S-W-F!!!!

BOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

Rapid Fire explosions of pyro explode from entryway, down ramp, and into ring where they finally culminate! But the noise of fireworks is nearly drowned out by the pop of fans, true fans, die-hard fans who are willing to stay with what they love! Everyone is on their feet as the new entrance comes live and in living color to homes across the country, not to mention to the people watching in the arena that night!

>Curry “It looks like Storm isn’t over yet…but what the hell’s going on? What’s this SWF?!”

>NTD “I’ve heard talk in the back that we might be going to a new network that’s promised to be even more spectacular and more popular than our former network!”

>Curry “You mean the Internet Geeks Network?”

>NTD “No, I was talking about the Inbred Gorilla Network.”

>Curry “The Infinitely Gross Network.”

>NTD “How about the Itching Gonads Network?”

>Curry “I think, for once, we finally agree!”

“… and I want you…”

The crowd literally EXPLODES! Chairs are a foldin… legs are a standin… and signs are a wavin’… the most violently of which read “The JOY of X!!!”

“… and I want you…”

>Curry “It’s Xstasy Curry! What's he doing here after taking that chairshot just a few minutes ago?!”

“… and I want you…”

>NTD “Pffft…listen to these idiots…”

“… and I WANT YOU!!!!!”

BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

“YOU ARE THE PERFECT DRUG! THE PERFECT DRUG! THE PERFECT DRUG!!!!”

The music, NIN’s “The Perfect Drug,” is pretty much drowned out at this point. Every fan in the house is shouting to hoarseness, while some of the newer fans pop just for the sheer spectacle! As sparks shower the entryway, a silhouette projects from the curtain and out into the audience! The figure causing this stunning effect moves forward, walks through the sparks, and emerges into bright FLASHING light on the ramp! He smiles, shakes his dreadlocked head, and wipes his lip with the back of his hand while the men roar, the women squeal, and the kids… well… the kids pop like crazy!!!

IGNWF superstar Xstasy, swaggers down the ramp, his characteristically handsome grin playing, his sunglasses shined, his jeans torn, and his shirt a simple black on white tee that reads simply- “X, The Perfect Drug.” As he adjusts his bandana and rolls into the ring, chuckling all the way, an attendant tosses him a microphone!

>NTD “Hmmm…looks like the Sex Pill is here to talk!”

>Curry “Where in the hell did he get the Sex Pill nickname from, anyway?”

>NTD “From Jay Dawg, who else?”

>Curry “Hmmm… errr… well, Jay Dawg…why the hell would he name him ‘Sex Pill?’”

>NTD “He’s the Perfect Drug, and he’s Sexy, what’s there not to know?”

>Curry “Instead of explaining NTD’s infatuation with certain superstars… despite the fact that he’s A MALE, I’m gonna shut up now, and let the man speak in the ring!!”

The crowd is letting loose with chants of “X-STA-SEE!! X-STA-SEE!!” Inside the squared circle, the Perfect Drug smiles humbly, accepting their support before he raises his microphone! The hush is almost instinctive.

>X “NOW… does anybody want to HAVE X… on THE SWF???!!!!!!”

Another explosion of pop opens up, as the people begin to chant “S-W-F!!! S-W-F!!!” over, and over! X chuckles into the mic, and gives them a few extra seconds to die down, before speaking again!

>X “You know, just like a long time ago, the IGNWF kicked off on IGN, September of 2000, snap, just like that… when a little brainstorm from Jayson Grant spread like wildfire and consumed everything in its path, just like THAT… when wrestlers gathered for tryouts, contracts, big bucks, and just like THAT… when people everywhere gathered to be entertained, awed, and inspired… JUST- LIKE- THAT… the big wigs and suit wearing executives tried to take that away from us… they tried to take that away from… YOU.

>Crowd “BOOOOOOO!!!!”

>X “This federation was around for over a year, providing enjoyment, good clean fun for the whole family, this fed was your FIX! And they tried to take that away… from YOU!!!!”

>Crowd “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

>Curry “New Network?! Does this mean one of NTD’s insider scoops was actually right for once?! What’s the world coming to?

>NTD “Well of course, they’re all right. Did you know Andre the Giant didn’t actually weight 700 pounds? It was actually 800…that guy who works on the lighting crew told me.

>X “In fact, no one knew what was going to happen, we were all in the dark, with no end to the tunnel in sight! We were completely shadowed!”

>Crowd “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

>X “But then… the light came on!”

>Crowd “RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

>X “A light in the form of a network so big, a network so powerful, so groundbreaking, that is has more than enough room for the Federation, the Junior League, and ALL the XSSSSSSSSSSSTATIC fans here tonight!!!!!”

Another outburst of pop, as The Perfect Drug continues!

>X “That network is… The SMARKS dot COM!!!”

A “SMARKS DOT COM” chant fills the arena as X smiles!

>X “And this show, is being taped, and brought to all of you at home by the good folks at Smarks TV, folks who know the business, folks who know what you all want and need to see… folks who want to make sure you can have the WF… and can HAVE X… whenever you feel like it!!!!”

Another ballistic reaction as X continues…

>X “That’s right, the Perfect Drug is alive, and well here at the NEW, and IMPROVING Smarks Wrestling Federation, and don’t think that you’ve seen everything, and anything yet! Because its just getting good! The move to The Smarks is giving us more exposure than ever, more fans than ever! And we are guaranteed to have an influx of talent the likes of which have never- EVER been seen before! The partnership of the WF and The Smarks is just like the partnership between Xstasy and The Fans… its never about me, it’s about US!!! So sit back, relax, grab your loved ones by the tele, grab a hot tea, or an ice cold beer, turn down the lights, turn up the volume, and get ready for the Smark attack! Whole lotta Smarkin’ goin’ on! We’re traveling in Noah’s SMARK, and you can be sure our Smark is worse than our bite!!! Matter of fact, we’re ready to grab a Magic SMARKER and SMARK up the whole damn business… get ready for the SMARKDOWN, the SMARKETYPE, the SMARK of the covenant, the top of the Wrestling HEIRSMARKY, SMARK your ass right here, because if you walk in the SMARKNESS, you WILL… see the LIGHT!!!”

>Curry “HOLY SHIZZLE!! Still as fast with words as ever, and still getting the crowd into this move more than anyone thought possible! If these people could be any more X-cited, I think The Drug just got them there!”

>NTD “The SMARKS got them there… X is just voicing his own opinion on the situation… something I don’t think he’s done yet!”

>Curry “Well he’s fired up tonight!”

>X “WE will make this our new home… and you…”

>NTD “Here it comes…”

>Curry “The catchphrase!!”

>X “… you will know all… AAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL The Joy… of X!!!!”

The crowd roars again, as The Perfect Drug booms over the speakers, everyone developing an addiction to not only the charismatic (and incredibly handsome) young superstar, but also to the new and improving SWF! X walks backstage to get ready for his match as the announcer, Funyon, begins prepping for the dark matches!

>Curry “What a way to kick off this new night! But you gotta wonder what our commish’s new plans are!”

>NTD “Not to mention what other guys have to say…”

>Curry “Hopefully everyone will be supportive of the move, but you never know with some of the assholes around here…”

>NTD “Wait a second… we can say asshole on The Smarks network?”

>Curry “I think so.”

>NTD “Were we allowed to say that on IGN?”

>Curry “I don’t think we were…”

>NTD “YAY!!! ASSHOLE… ASSHOLE… ASSHOLE…”

>Crowd “ASSS-HOLE… ASSSSS-HOLE…”

>NTD “Check that out! Less censorship…”

>Curry “I can guarantee, NTD, there are a lot of other words we can say as well… and that’s just one of the many reasons why this network switch is gonna usher in a brand new era for our Federation, now the SWF!”

X takes on final look over the still cheering, camera flashing crowd, and displays the sign of the X with his arms above his head! Then, he disappears behind the curtain, as the SWF is born!

February 27, 2002

Results

SINGLES MATCH

Jay Dawg vs. Xstasy

- Xstasy of course.

TAG MATCH

The Boston Strangler and Fallout vs. Longdogger Pete and El Luchadore Magnifico

- Newbie Longdogger gets a win over two very impressive adversaries (er...with a bit of help from a former champ).

HANDICAP MATCH

Spider Nekura and Thoth vs. The Prophet

- Thoth and Nekura...by DQ? Blah.

IGNWF HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH

- Your winner and now 2-time IGNWF champ, the Hville Thugg!

Sign In

IGNWF Storm (Feb. 26/2002

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