PROMO: Tools of the Trade

[Guest Ace309]

Fade in on the interior of Tom Flesher's Buffalo apartment, much the same as the last time we saw it: the futon is still propped up with cinderblocks. There's still a large tote marked "Wrestling Stuff" under it, and it sits in a largely bare room. Flesher sits on the futon, the Light Heavyweight and ICTV belts propped up elegantly on the coffee table, and sips a big-ass cup of coffee. In the background, we can see the "Tom Flesher Special Edition" screensaver illuminating his computer screen.

 

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* With a grin, Flesher kicks his legs over the side of the futon and gets to his feet. He strides happily to the door and opens it, seeing the face he was expecting.

 

Chris Wilson.

 

"Hey, man," oozes Flesher. "Hell of a match on Genesis."

 

"Yeah, you didn't do too badly yourself," says Wilson.

 

"Come on in, sit down, have a cup of coffee." Tom ushers the former leader of the Magnificent Seven into the room and offers him a beer stein filled with black coffee.

 

"Uh... do you have any milk or sugar?"

 

"No way, man, those screw up the mist effect."

 

Wilson shrugs and takes a sip. "Jesus christ, that's terrible!"

 

"Yeah, I know. I can't afford a Mr. Coffee, so I'm using a really oldschool percolator."

 

"Ah, well," sighs Wilson. "I guess it's better than nothing."

 

"You're damn right," agrees Tom. "It is. So Chris, what did you want to come over for?"

 

"Well," says Wilson, "there are a few things I thought you might need to know about running the Magnificent Seven." He gestures to the gym bag he brought with him and unzips it.

 

"First," says Wilson, "you're going to need one of these." He reaches in and pulls out a 40-watt soldering iron. "This is for doing all the wiring on the bombs. ... you WERE planning on blowing shit up, weren't you?"

 

"Uh, that didn't really fit into my vision of the Seven's mission statement."

 

"Tom, the mission statement is 'Blow shit up and win titles.'"

 

"Er... sorry, man, I didn't really read any of the literature."

 

"No big deal, you'll be a capable leader, and I'm sure you can find a use for it anyway." He reaches into the bag and pulls out a toolkit with various-sized screwdrivers and several coils of different-gauged wire. "Hopefully you can do something with these, too..."

 

"Woah! Hell yeah, man, now I can finally finish that mod project I've been doing on my computer!"

 

"Er... good, then. Uh... there's some piano wire in there too." Wilson hands Flesher a tiny black address book. "This contains all of the names, addresses and phone numbers you'll ever need. It's got contact information for everyone in the stable, plus a few girls in each port, if you know what I mean."

 

"NO WAY, MAN!" Flesher is just thrilled beyond belief as he thumbs through the appendix in the back. "I can't believe it! This even has directions on how to get girls to flip!!! This is amazing! Christ, man, you're too good to me."

 

Wilson holds his hands up and says, "Easy, there, chopper. There's one more thing I want to give you, and it's the most important tool you'll ever use when you're the leader of a multinational heel stable."

 

Wilson unzips the gym bag all the way, reaches in, and pulls out...

 

 

 

 

 

 

a black felt fedora, complete with a matching silk band. He smiles at Flesher and asks, quietly, "You look about a 7 3/4. Is that right?"

 

Flesher's eyes light up, and his jaw drops to the floor. "Chris... god, man, this is the greatest gift a man could GIVE another guy... other than a multinational heel stable, of course."

 

"Always remember, Tom... sissies wear white hats. If you want to get ahead in this world, you have to wear a black hat."

 

"This is great!!!! Jesus, thank you so much!"

 

Wilson stands up. "Take good care of the ICTV, man... and take good care of my baby." Flesher jumps to his feet and moves to hug Wilson, but opts instead to shake his hand firmly.

 

"Thanks, Chris... I mean... just.... thanks."

 

Wilson strolls to the door, and Flesher eagerly puts the black fedora on. As he adjusts it, looking like a kid in a candy store, we fade.

[Guest SupaTaft]

The...

 

SHIT!!

 

Great promo Flesher, a great guide for all things heelish.

 

-Taft

[Guest Rabbi_wilson13]

Haha...totally awesome. Black fedora trumps everything, and the "hug into handshake" is simply hilarious.

 

I believe I've left things in good hands. Tom Flesher, you rock my world.

[Guest Kibagami]

(Y) @ fedoras.

 

(Y) @ black hats.

 

(Y)(Y) @ black fedoras.

 

That will be all.

 

S.

[Guest Insanityman]

"Blow shit up and win titles."

 

That's my new life motto, just take away titles. . Seriously, great read Tom.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Totally sweeeeeet! That's a fine changing of the guard, ladies and gents.

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

"NO WAY, MAN!" Flesher is just thrilled beyond belief as he thumbs through the appendix in the back. "I can't believe it! This even has directions on how to get girls to flip!!! This is amazing! Christ, man, you're too good to me."

 

 

my legacy is cemented. fuck.

 

great promo, and yes, black fedora = teh shit.

-Annie