Dear God, someone kill me...

[Guest Smell the ratings!!!]

GOOD

 

5. For 30 beautiful seconds, mic work Christian was back! GIVE HIM A BELT YOU BASTARDS

 

4. Booker and Jericho Promos - DO MORE OF THESE

 

3. Bubba and HHH: not on PPV! all we had to do was walk out on the match...

 

2. Jericho kicking ASS in the main event. Post-burial, the people still LOVE him for his greatness.

 

1. uh oh. I'm gonna be reaching on this one....it's over? HA! i rule.

 

BAD (just because there only 5 bad things listed doesn't mean there were only 5 bad things. If you've ever watched Raw before, you should know that.)

 

5. Rosie and Jamaal - You Fucking Suck!

 

4. Unamericans = RTC. Still on TV next month? Ha!

 

3. Thank God they didn't start HHH's entrance untill after the commercial. I must witness EVERY SECOND OF HIS GREATNESS!!! (PS- worst finish since the Orton match)

 

2. 15 minutes of Kane? Count the powerslams, press slams, and chokeslam attempts! Only 1 Big Boot!? Who booked this crap!

 

1. Randy Orton- your "Oh God, kill me" MVP.

 

SHAMEFUL (so bad it gets it's own section)

 

BPS, does the man know everything? Desperate to not job, HHH moves to Bubba. Bubba's hurt?! What does HHH do? He pulls out his trusty Stephanie McMahon Booking Napkin and consults his Job List.

 

IOU - one job, summer 2001. - Kane.

 

Stephanie ideas - 1. unify every title, EVER.

 

Of course! I don't job to Van Dam, I get my job back from Kane, I get more titles...what's that? Jericho loses?! BRILLIANT!!!

 

If this seems familiar, it's because the last time Van Dam was going to win the title (yes, he was going to win) HHH returned, took his spot, and beat Jericho. Now HHH dumps RVD out of another title shot, because after cheating to win, the heel handbook says JOB in match 2.

 

My friends' zingers

 

- a 3 minute warning? Is that enough time to change the channel? ~ZING~

 

INSIGHT

 

-every time JR mentions football, thousands of people go "Oh yeah" and reach for the remote

 

- Unforgiven booking: Get down there Flair! HHH NEEDS YOUR HEAT!!!

 

- Hurricane? Who? You mean Randy Orton, right?

 

- During the commercial break...Kane did a CHOKE TOSS! WOW!!!

 

- Raw preview. 3 Minutes vs. BookDust : true. RVD vs. HHH: abject lies!

 

- and Spin the Wheel returns. Oh God, someone kill me.

[Guest jester]

-every time JR mentions football, thousands of people go "Oh yeah" and reach for the remote

I laughed my ass off when I read that. Thanks. That made my night.

[Guest AndrewTS]

If this seems familiar, it's because the last time Van Dam was going to win the title (yes, he was going to win) HHH returned, took his spot, and beat Jericho. Now HHH dumps RVD out of another title shot, because after cheating to win, the heel handbook says JOB in match 2.

I remember that...RVD vs. Jericho was booked to main event a PPV--then HHH comes back to save us from an entertaining match. Grr...

[EL DANDY~! 0]

You know what's sad about the football thing???

 

It's true...

[Guest RickyChosyu]

Don't forget Show/Hardy II, because once wasn't enough? 2/3 falls next week? I'm SO THERE!!!

 

Seriously, the football thing had me changing the channel as fast as humanly possible.

[Guest bps "The Truth" 21]

I'm torn.

 

It felt really good to be proven 100% right and expose HHH and the WWE for the terrible predictable wasteland of politics and games...

 

but I'm super pissed that it went down this way.

 

Let's check the HHH checklist for tonight...shall we?

 

1. Ends Bubba feud. I actually like this one. Feud was a terrible terrible idea that only served as a meaningless distraction to the HHH/RVD feud they should have been building better.

 

2. Not only did he pass RVD on to Flair at the ppv...but RVD and Flair didn't even get a storyline advanced. Flair followed HHH around like a dog and RVD was a non factor in a 5 minute throwaway match thats purpose was to further another angle.

 

I'm counting that one as 2.

 

4. Jericho jobs despite constant help from HHH. MAn...he just cant beat anyone under any circumstances. Except RVD...who he made TAP OUT AFTER THE BENOIT MATCHES ESTABLISHED THAT RVD DOES NOT TAP. Why did they do that again? Oh yeah...so that RVD didn't hold the title shile facing HHH.

 

So now Jericho looks like a bitch and hands the title over to KAne.

 

It's fitting that HHH will unify these titles, since the IC belt's last 2 title changes were nothing more than an accomidation for HHH.

 

5. Kane wins.

 

I've been saying it since HHH beat Taker on RAW. One to go.

 

So...20 days until HHH has no unreturned jobs out to active upper midcarders.

 

Super.

 

Someone tell HHH that he isn't Hogan in the 80's and he isn't Austin in 98.

 

 

6. When the low rating comes in, someone will notice that HHH didn't appear in the first hour...so aftre escaping blame again...he'll get more air time.

 

7. After all of this (and I'm sure more that I missed) HHH still won't have to lose at the ppv.

 

Oh...and I don't expect to see RVD vs. HHH continue at Survivor Series either.

 

In fact...I'd bet that HHH will be lobbying for Flair to take the win on the ppv to do a rematch the next month, keeping HHH from doing that job longer.

 

Fuck him.

[Guest Nater]

Raw made me sick

What?!

I said, I puked.

 

[Guest Smell the ratings!!!]

Jester:

 

Best. Sig. Ever.

 

 

Sorry I got all column-y, I just throught I'd contain all my complaning in one thread. Although, my endless hate for Randy Orton spread to the "Randy Orton sucks" thread.

 

Also, I will probably contribute to the inevitable "Fucking HHH piece of dog shit" thread

 

 

EDIT: bps, good list, but you forgot to mention the part where HHH is VERY, VERY HETEROSEXUAL, and in no way curious about homosexuality in ANY WAY, EVER.