Promo: Mail Call.

[Guest redbaron51]

When.

 

October 1st, 2002. Tuesday... 3 hours before the house show begins in Boise Idaho...(Idaho gets no respect). Everyone in the SWF lockeroom gets pumped up for their matches tonight, and everybody has their routine. The kliq are in their little huddle shutting the voice of others in the locker room. Frost usually has a camera with him, as he is doing another commercial. It looks like he is marketing his own Frost action figure, and it comes in a parka. Ash is the comedic one in the locker room, doing magic tricks with pokeballs, cards, and other accessories he could get his grubby little hands on, except for those tag team belts.

 

Others have their walkman on their ears, shutting the world as well. Bo always has his CD player going 24/7, and usually will listen to Nas or NWA before every match. Others like Edwin, will listen to Henry Rollins or Velvet Underground to get pumped up, which pratically no one else in the locker room could stand. And Ash will listen to anything that is on MTV's play list, which is about 5 songs, with varation of techno remix, edits, live shows and acoustic.

 

I tend to stray away from the others. Maybe this is why I do so bad. I am a shy person, and realitivly quiet. I'm not a leader of sorts, I'll just sit in my little area listening to Megadeth or Iron Maiden before each match. Hell, people like Ced and Jay Dawg will play Smackdown, and Ced always wins, but that is in video game form, which in real life, JD will kick the shit out of him.

 

Mark always reads his lines for each show, while bobby won't read his, most of it is made up on the spot. But when a homosexual joke occurs much through out the match, he tends to get nervous.

 

Everybody back here has respect for everyone, no matter what is being said in the ring. There is no jack ass in the locker room, but its usually the n00bs will be the personal bitches in here for the first few weeks, and almost everyone is a personal bitch to Jay Dawg, and Stubby.

 

"MAIL CALL!" yells the post man, as he brings in a big buggie full of mail.

 

What others like, I hate, but today is something different.

 

"This is a hell of a lot more mail than before," replies the mail man. "Most of it going to Chris Raynor."

 

Everyone stops. From what happened to Chris on Sunday night was a nasty bump. Edwin hangs his head down, recalling that night. The night he probably ended Raynor's career. The night that changed SWF in an entirity. All the workers pitched in and rest Raynor's mail where he usually sits. Adjacent from the door heading out. There's so much mail that its just overflowing the bench and on to the wet floor.

 

Everybody grabbed their mail, but not I. I hated this so much. I hate my fans, besides, what have they done for me? They don't ask to see how I was doing, or actual wrestling. All they do is take my picture and get on autograph. What kind of fan is that. I turned on my CD player again, to shut the world off. My eyes looked around the locker room, as I see Thugg opening his mail, finding some unnatural plants. Ash got his latest pokemon game, Frost got his paycheck from Damage Inc. on his latest commercial. Divefire got his England soccer jersey finally, with Beckham on the back. Mark always gets mail from his wife, telling him she misses him. Hell even Bobby got his issue of "Gay Men" magazine, which he seemed thrilled about. Bo crumpled up his mail, and threw it across the locker room. The piece of paper hit my foot, as I see what it was.

 

Fuck man, I'm in deep shit.

 

The fuckin pigs are after my fuckin ass, bitch. Man I can't get no god damn sleep. Fuck man, I knew I shouldn't killed my god damn fuckin wife...mother fucker. What the fuck am I suppose to do, yo. Man, i think they've also found out where I hid the motherfuckin stash too. God damn it man...I'm not sure what the fuck I should do. I....

 

blood stains are on the paper, as Bo can't read this any more.

 

Tom Flesher finally got his Super J Cup 94 on tape, which he hasn't received in nearly 4 months.

 

I look back down at my feet nodding my head, listening to some Iron Maiden. Some one taps my shoulder.

 

"What?" says I in disgust. I look up to see Thugg having some package. "The hell is this?" I ask.

 

"Mail, and its yours," Thugg replies.

 

"Some one actually cares about me?" I laugh hysterically, "heh...its probably just another hate mail."

 

"Meh whatever man, but its been the most mail you've gotten here since you have arrived," Thugg mentions.

 

"Ya thanks for bringing that up," I said softly. Thugg grabs my bald head, and moves it around, before he leaves.

 

I open the package to see what it is.

 

From a friend.

 

A friend?

 

When I watched SWF for the first time in a long time, I realized you were bumped. Congrats man, I knew you could make it to that level, and I wished you could have been with me at the time, but now we have our own lives. You still have loyalty to the fed. Two years...Jesus Christ, thats a lot of respect for a company that treated you poorly, but what can I say, you still take bumps well, and still pull out some unusual counters.

 

Anyway, where was I? Tag team match, tag titles, man becoming a tag team champion is a hard thing to do, especially when we first teamed up. It would have been good if you won, but winning doesn't happen unless you lose. When you lose, you made a mistake. Mistakes are meant to happen, and mistakes can be turned into perfection.

 

Steve, you've been a good friend to me since the beginning of my career, and I like to thank you. Even though, I am probably better than you back then, and maybe now....just kiddin, but Xero work hard, don't get distracted, and always do the right thing at the right time, and no mistakes will happen.

 

From:

 

 

God damn it, I can't make out the signature.

 

"Hate mail Xero?" Edwin asks.

 

"Ya....nothing but hate mail." Xero lies.

 

"C'mon, you'll miss the meeting," Edwin reminds me.

 

"Be there in a minute," I reply.

 

I look around to see the locker room empty. After reading that, it felt nice that some one cared about me, and my work, and really made me feel a whole lot better.

 

"Yep...this is the life," I said to myself.

 

Instead of putting the mail in the garbage, I decide to keep it, and put it in my bag. I open the door, and I head to the ring, where the meeting is taking place.

 

Oh and incase if you are wondering, all the females have their own locker room, for obvious reasons. (Bobby hates naked womem....Damn homosexual.)

 

Finish

[Guest El Luchadore Magnifico]

Wow, good grammar from Xero, who woulda thought?

 

Just kidding. Good stuff, hope it's leading somewhere. (Y)

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

Shit...

 

Wow, what a promo Xero. Great charachter development. I like it.

[Guest SupaTaft]

ALL the women Xero?

 

You mean Annie and Sarah...

 

BOTH of the women.

 

Anyways, BITCHIN' promo man. Really like the feel of comaraderie backstage, but you should have had the Kliq be hanging around together.

 

-Taft

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

That was cool. Intriguing stuff, and a very nice RP-style promo.

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

Wow. Damn, where are all the people pulling these sweet-ass promos from? First I read Tom's, then Edwins, and this is right up there.

 

Cripes, I'll have to give it my own shot and probably fail miserably

 

Great work Xero, make us all hunt back to the beginning of the league to see who you teamed up with. Grarg!

 

-Annie

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

That was great, Xero, and I would like to see more character building promos like that from you and others. I should try one, but I've got my commercials and burdening product line to take care of. Frost action figures in a parka...hmm......

[Guest redbaron51]

frost i get some royaltisy's from the money you make off of the frost action figues, or the tag belts....

 

 

which is it

[Guest chirs3]

There's so much mail that its just overflowing the bench and on to the wet floor.

 

That's great. I almost die and you guys don't have the decency to respect my mail? Ingrates.

 

After I get someone who can read wet letters and runny ink, I'm coming back for you guys.

 

But until then, this was surprising, because I can't really remember the last Xero promo, but this was really good - I hope it's going somewhere even better.

[Guest realitycheck]

Replying, because Xero asked me to read and respond, bumping this to the top. Damn people and their free-press express loving...

 

 

Heh. Anyway, kidding aside, great promo. Shows insight and adds an actual personality and demension to the flat and, well, non-existant Xero promo. Plus, a MYSTERY~! Well, kind of, if you're not old. Who does't love stuff like that?

 

::hears whispers about 'Who Ran Over Stone Cold?'::

 

Erm, right. Anyway, good promo.

 

-Z