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UWF The Steel Cage Match

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Guest TSMAdmin

UWF The Steel Cage Match




Raw- It was interesting to say the least. The show had both its high and low points unlike last week, which was non-stop goodness. I think the WWE could have milked the DX angle for at least a few more weeks judging by the pop they received. I guess having HHH turn on Shawn shortly after Shawn threatening to walk was the right move. I really hope that we get HHH-HBK match at SummerSlam because I am going to be there at the Nassau Coliseum. If Shawn wrestles that the night I will mark out like never before. Moving JR and the King was a good change for two reasons. It helps differentiate Raw from SmackDown! and it gives the wrestlers move room to fight at ringside. It could also lead to some pretty cool table spots off the entrance ramp. The ladder match was nothing special. Reason being the WWE is really over saturating the gimmick itself. Back in the day a ladder match was used in big feuds with lots of heat. Now the ladder itself is used to get the fans interested in a match. The same thing happened back in 1999-2000 when the WWF had a cage match every other week. Same for the handicap match in 2000-2001 and the mixed-tag matches this year. There are plenty of other gimmick matches the WWE could use. Hopefully they start taking advantage of them. Having the Undertaker bury Chris Harvard reeked of Steve Austin killing all of Jeff Jarrett’s heat in one fell swoop with the Stone Cold Stunner back in 1999. Why even have the Undertaker get retribution on Brock Lesnar. All is for naught unless Brock wins the belt at SummerSlam and then feuds with the Taker on Raw seeing how he is now on SmackDown!. It was nice seeing Rhyno on TV, but I doubt he will be remembered nine months from now. The Rock and Eddy showed some pretty good chemistry in their segment, although I thought it went a little long. What I want to know is why make the match non-title if Eddy was going to job anyway? To ensure Rock-Lesnar at SummerSlam? The Island Boyz debut reminds me of when Jim Cornette brought the Headhunters to the WWF. Their debut was much cooler than that of the Island Boyz, but I don’t think the Headhunters ever actually wrestled in the WWE. Also why debut a tag-team on the show without the tag-titles? The WWE has to stop making stupid mistakes like that. A Benoit-RVD-Booker feud would be interesting and would result in many great matches. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for a three-way at SummerSlam. That was my longest analysis of Raw ever. I guess that will make up for the tape review itself being on the short side.


The 4.3- I hope the WWE doesn’t interpret the 4.3 as fans tuning in because of the Rock winning the title and HHH signing with Raw. I seriously don’t think enough people bought Vengeance to bump the rating .5+, but who knows. Word of mouth maybe. Hopefully Bischoff gets most of the credit for this as well as the guys who have been busting their asses (RVD, Booker, Benoit, and Eddy) for the last few months.


SmackDown!- Not as good as Raw. The first half-hour really dragged and what was the deal with the countdown. Who gives a shit how much longer it will be until the Cage match? The tag match was good and Brock giving Hogan the F5 was interesting. Rey Mysterio just doesn't have the same ring without the Jr. at the end. Although his entrance was cool, but the rap music has to go. John Cena is looking stupider each week. His promo was laughable and showed that maybe he really isn’t going to be a main eventer unless he just stops talking altogether. The cage match was also good, but the Cena-Edge-Rey tandem doesn’t really seem like a threat. Then again neither does Storm-Christian-Test. The cliffhanger ending was a good idea and hopefully the payoff isn’t lame.




The UWF is probably best known by the newer fans for winning the Wrestling Observer’s “Worst Promotion of 1991” award. Some of you may have heard of this really cool federation led by Bill Watts called the UWF. This isn’t the same UWF. Herb Abrams, a nobody in the world of wrestling, started his own UWF in the early 1990’s. He signed a lot of great talent. Unfortunately, this talent was great several years earlier. Herb brought in guys like Paul Orndorff, Steve Williams, Jimmy Snuka, Bam Bam Bigelow, Afa, Samu, Bob Orton, The Killer Bees, Don Muraco, Chris Micheals, Cactus Jack, Terry Gordy, Bob Backlund, Ivan Koloff and Sid Vicious. Abrams decided that he would take the UWF to the top by using Hollywood “glitz and glamour”. Ironically, most of the UWF shows took place in dingy nightclubs in New York City and Chicago maybe drawing crowds of 200 if they were lucky. Although Herb did go all out towards the end. He booked MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas to host the Blackjack Brawl. You may remember the MGM as the arena that WCW used for Halloween Havoc 1998. WCW drew a crowd of 10,663, which wasn’t even close to a sellout. Herb on the other hand drew a crowd of 600. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Herb scored a deal with the Sports Channel, who agreed to air the show live. Shortly thereafter, the UWF was gone. In 1992, Herb soaked himself in baby oil and ran around a NYC office building naked wielding a baseball bat at furniture and people. After being brought into custody he died of a heart attack. The UWF released six home videos during their tenure. I spotted this one at J & R Music World in New York City for $12.99. I thought a main event cage match between Steve Williams and Paul Orndorff would be decent, but we’ll see. So I suggest pulling your old “Mr. Electricity Herb Abrams” t-shirt out of the closet and finding a box of “Herbies” before you get started on this one.


Recap of the Orton-Blair feud. Seems like Orton and Tolos ran-in during some of Blair’s matches and Lou Albano chased them off. 0/1


Bob Orton w/John Tolos vs. B. Brain Blair w/Captain Lou Albano

John Tolos wrestled back in 1970’s as a tag-team with his brother Chris. Orton comes down to ring with what sounds like the acoustic version of The Beverly Hillbillies’ theme song. They start with some mat stuff. Not Kurt Angle mat stuff, as this is much slower. Blair works the arm for a pretty long time. IIRC, that is the same arm Orton injured back 1984. Good psychology Brian…Orton actually pulls out a kip up. Albano gets in Tolos’ face at ringside. Bruno Sammartino and Craig DeGeorge commentate the whole tape. Bruno is amused by the stupidest things just like Tony Schiavone and Michael Cole. Orton has Blair in the fireman’s carry and falls back for 2. Blair is back on the arm. CLIP to Orton getting some offense in. Some more really nasty clipping follows. Orton applies a neck wrench. Meanwhile Bruno goes off on a tangent about the neck and back. Craig thinks that the “sellout” crowd is “into” this match. Blair comes back with some punches and Orton takes the Flair Flip. Blair pulls out a few of Hogan’s favorite moves including the eye gouge and bake rake. Blair puts on the Sharpshooter, while Bruno is busy plugging his biography. Tolos enters the ring, but Albano chases him out. More terrible clipping. The ref gets bumped. Blair has Orton rolled up for the three, but no ref. Albano and Tolos end up leaving ringside. Orton sends Blair to the floor. Orton comes off the top, but Blair catches him with a shot to the gut. Blair goes to the post and Orton piledrives him on the concrete. It’s been quite a while since I saw a piledriver. DAMN YOU WWE! Orton revives the ref, who starts counting. Thankfully the UWF’s Good Samaritan “Wild Thing” Stevie Ray (not the black guy) comes out and tells the ref about the piledriver. The ref disqualifies Orton. Since when is fighting on the floor grounds for a DQ? For those of you who criticize WWE logic gaps, I highly suggest you don’t watch any UWF tapes. (11:51) ¾* This has been your match of the tape, but stick around because there are only two matches to go.


Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Afa w/Samu

This match takes places in an even dirtier arena with fewer people than the last match did. No wonder…they’re in Philly instead of NYC. Bigelow has the Albert look going on seeing how he forgot to shave his shoulders. They trade shots. Afa bites and hits an avalanche in the corner. Bigelow comes back with an avalanche of his own. Samu runs in, but Bigelow gets both him and Afa with the double noggin knocker. Bigelow puts them away with a double DDT. (1:40) DUD No winner or result is ever announced and nobody seems to give a damn either way.


Recap of the Steve Williams-Paul Orndorff feud. This one seems to have at least had some substance to it. Herbie is worse than Tony Schiavone and Michael Cole combined when it comes to excessive hyperbole. .5/2


Cage Match: Steve Williams vs. Paul Orndorff

The tape box bills this as a UWF Championship match, but no one has a belt and the commentators/ring announcer never mentioned that. The cage is mesh and stands about 12 feet in height, although it is being billed as 15 feet. The cameraman is actually in the cage. The only other time I remember that happening would be in the War Games matches. Williams starts with some token offense. Orndorff goes for the quick escape, but is pulled back down to the ring. They trade punches. Williams clotheslines Orndorff and tires to escape. Orndorff stops him and comes off the top rope with a belly-to-back. Some “PAULA” chants start up, which is weird since Orndorff is the babyface. Orndorff applies the sleeper. Williams charges him into the cage. They seem to take a commercial break, but pick up from where we left off. Orndorff blades and doesn’t even register on the Muta Scale. Sammartino rants about the steel bar cages the WWF was using at this time. Williams goes for the three-point stance charge, but Orndorff moves and Williams runs into the cage. Dr. Death blades. Nothing special, but still better than Paula. Bruno is getting excited at the sight of all this blood. Orndorff tries to go through the door, but is stopped. Paul says fuck that and gets Steve with an enziguri. Williams comes back by sending Paul to the cage. Orndorff stops Williams from crawling out the door. DeGeorge starts screaming, “LISTEN TO THESE FANS!” and I hear nothing. Both men run each other into the cage. Williams gets up first and climbs the cage. Orndorff pulls Steve down, crotching him in the process. Paul is walking out the door and Terry Gordy slams it in his face. Williams and Gordy beat the hell out of Orndorff while Cactus Jack watches the door and fights some of the token babyfaces. Don Muraco gets passed Cactus and tries to save, but he is also double-teamed. I think Orndorff won by DQ. That’s right. A disqualification in a cage match. (10:21) ½*



40 minutes of bad wrestling and disqualifications just about put me to sleep, but I muscled through it for you guys. Avoid every UWF tape, unless of course it is Bill Watts’ UWF.



Coming Up Next: I’m in with Confidential on Sunday. Some of you may be wondering why I copped out this week with such a short tape. There are actually two reasons:


Reason #1: I’m still burnt out from Road Wild 1999 last week.


Reason #2: Next week I’ll be back with a PURORESU TAPE REVIEW and I could use all the time I can get to finish that one. Most of you are wondering why I, someone who knows practically nothing about puro, would want to review such a tape. Reason being, I’m just looking to try something a little different. Plus there are some American guys on tape (Steve Williams, The Heavenly Bodies, The Steiner Brothers, and Chris Benoit), so I won’t be totally lost. In the end, it should make for quite an interesting read.


Retro Rob BTW, our e-mail system is being upgraded, so if I haven’t responded to you that is why.

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