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The 5/22 Smart Marks News Update

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Guest TSMAdmin

Boy, I hate the middle of the week sometimes. The shows on TV suck(except for reruns of the Simpsons and Married With Children, obviously) and I don't get Smackdown, so I can't watch any wrestling aside from old tapes(although considering the present state of the WWE right now, that may not be all that bad...)and most of the bars/nightclubs are just dreadfully boring. Ah yes... life in Alabama... I wouldn't trade for all the money in the fucking world(Ugh!)


Anyways, I apologize for this being posted so late, but we've been steam cleaning the carpets of the house in preparation for some guests, so needless to say, I'm fucking wiped out right now, BUT, as your intrepid news reporter, I shall go on, DAMMIT!





Well, Raw was definitely an interesting show, but man, the wrestling was as bad as usual. I know not to expect much from the God of Workrate that is Undertaker, but aside from that shock Dusty Finish, the match was pretty blase. Also, did we REALLY need that many segments with Steve Austin and Eddy Guerrero? With as bad as the ratings turned out for the show, it's a safe bet that they will just keep on using mindless skits because THAT'S WHAT THE FANS WANT, DAMMIT! Someone please shoot me now...


Something else that's fucking bothering me is the constant push of William Regal. Why the fuck is he still the European champion anyways? He's not over and hasn't had a good match yet since coming back in 2000. It's about time to give up and admit defeat and job him out to D'Lo Brown already and let him feud with someone like Kanyon(do the trade, dammit!) or anybody else who doesn't move like molasses in the ring. Hell, why not restart the D'Lo/X-Pac feud, maybe that will motivate his lazy ass again...



Okay, personal venting aside, ON WITH THE NEWS!





As many of you already know, the rating for RAW on Monday fell another .2 from the previous week's 3.9 and if I was Vince McMahon, I think it would be time to make some serious changes in both the booking department and in who gets air time because although the WWE is the ONLY national promotion with a TV deal and TNN most likely wouldn't drop them at all, they pretty much run the risk of losing even the hardcore fans with how bad the shows have been lately. I may hate Rob Van Dam, but even I would gladly watch him somewhere near the main event going for the title than ANOTHER Hulk Hogan/Undertaker feud(not trying to spoil Crapdown, but COME ON!) over the the title. And while it's in my head, what's up with Booker T not jumping the NWO after Kevin Nash limped out and slammed him verbally? When the hell is the face turn EVER going to happen? Sigh...


Please credit Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer and PWTorch.com






In another lil tidbit that most of you may already know, Kevin Nash and Sean Waltman(X-Pac) told the bookers backstage at RAW that if the NWO segment wasn't changed to their liking, both were gonna leave for good. It's things like this that are really making me wonder about the current mental state of the talent on the RAW brand. Who the FUCK is Nash to tell ANYBODY in the WWE what to do? It's been reported that both Vince and Stephanie weren't there for the show, so I guess THAT maybe a good reason why he got away with it. It's bad enough he's shown no loyalty to his best friendby supposedly helping him get smashed and subsquently fired last week, but to outright DEMAND that the people who pay his overinflated salary do his bidding is fucking insane. Sadly enough, the WWE is looking more and more like WCW each day and if this starts a trend, then there maybe no way to stop the downward spiral.


Please credit PWTorch.com and Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer






Dave Scherer reports that last night's segment with Eddy Guerrero and apparently, the coming feud, was all Austin's idea. Given all the shitty opponents he's had to deal with since the Jericho feud in Febuary, I hope and pray that this gets him motivated back to the levels of last year's AWESOME run because Lord knows the RAW program needs a good match/feud right NOW.


Please credit Dave Scherer of 1wrestling.com






Another lil tidbit taken from 1wrestling.com:


"On the Buck and Kincade show on 680 The Fan out of Atlanta, there is a segment they have called "notes and quotes" in which various news stories or quotable items are read and discussed by Buck Belue and John Kincade. On today's show, Belue mentioned the death of Davey Boy Smith. He said Smith died of a heart attack while on vacation in British Columbia last week. He said it was a few days before Smith was to have a meeting with Vince McMahon. Belue put over how good a shape Smith was in, saying Smith never drank or smoked, and said Smith had a 19-inch neck and a 56-inch chest. Belue said something about the steroids not helping, but the segment was very respectful."


- If that's true, then I kinda feel worse for poor Davey Boy because he may have had a chance to do what he seemingly loved doing the most... My condolences and prayers go out to his family and friends along with the relativesand friends of Bik Dick Dudley, who also passed away the past few days. I rarely name drop, but Scott Keith pretty much hit it on the head when he said things like this always happen in threes when speaking of Lou Thesz and Wahoo McDaniel. Really, I don't know what to say because this had been the damnedest month in wrestling that I've ever seen.


Please credit Dave Whitaker of 1wrestling.com






I sincerely apologize for having no indy news whatsoever for the last update and promise that I won't slack off like that EVER again. Scouts honor and all that jazz, y'know...



- Georgia Championship wrestling on Saturday in Sopperton, GA at the Farm Expo with Marty Jannetty vs. Chris Stevens as the main event.(Damn, Jannetty's still alive? I'm as shocked as you are...)


- Apocalypse Wrestling on Sunday in Ajax, ON: Billy Flynn b Vladimir Urkov, Mayhem b Jerrick Miller, Slade b Kevin Grace, Silk b Arizona, Asylum b Danny Dynamic, Vijay Singh b Tony Mack, James Champagne b Joey Knight, Phoenix won Rumble. Next show is 6/2 at the Birchmount in Toronto. They did a 10 bell salute to Davey Boy Smith before the show. Sumie Sakai from the JD promotion in Japan appears on the 6/2 show.


- Phoenix Championship Wrestling will be doing a bus tour from Monmouth and Ocean counties in New jersey to the 6/1 show in Rahway, NJ at the Rec Center. for more info you can call 732-270-1678.


- Intense Wrestling on Saturday night in Cincinnati before 96 fans: Nate Pelley b LuLu, Ike Joenas b Stan Phoenix, Garf Redman b Mike McGurke, Chuck Wagon b Regulator, Brett Majors & Blue Tiger b Damon Starr & Hades, Dyson Price b Clunk and Zion, Ryan Stone b Ronnie Longworth, Sean Shillelagh b Jomott-DQ. Next show on 6/1 features Justin Sane from WWC.


- QWA on 6/28 in Deer Park, NY is headlined by Shane Douglas vs. Bam Bam Bigelow, Jerry Lynn vs. Xavier, Mikey Whipwreck & Red vs. Jose & Joel Maximo, Simon diamond vs. Divine, plus Roadkill, Christian York, Joey Matthews, Jay Briscoe and more.(Wow... a show headlined by Bigelow and Douglas? I feel sorry for those poor bastards... Also, isn't Mikey retired? What the fuck is he doing on the card?)


- 3PW results from the ECW Arena on Saturday night before 480 fans: Christian York & Joey Matthews b Dylan Night & Rapid Fire Maldonado, Robert Pigeon b John Tland, Colt Cabana b Chris Hero, Gary Wolfe b Rockin Rebel in dog collar match, Blue Meanie b Bilvis Wesley, Jasmine St. Clair and Miss Candie were both stripped in a bra and panties match, Public Enemy b York & Matthews, Sandman vs. Sabu vs. New Jack ended with no contest as Tod Gordon turned on Sandman and Bill Alfonso turned on Sabu, to set up a 6/29 tag match where Sabu & Gordon face Sandman & Fonzie, presumably to do another double turn.(Yay... Indy shows featuring washed ECW hardliners and crackhead booking, SIGN ME UP TODAY!)


- Major League Wrestling announced Taiyo Kea vs. Bam Bam Bigelow and Christopher Daniels against a mystery opponent to go along with Shane Douglas vs. Steve Corino and Jerry Lynn vs. La Parka for the first round of its title tournament on 6/15 in Philadelphia at the ECW Arena.(Am I the only one detecting a serious ECW-ish vibe with these indy promotions?)


- IWA results from Sunday in Levitown, PR: Stephano b Diabolico, Eric Alexander b Damian, Agente Bruno b Bryan Madness, Zaruxx b Chicano, Huracan Castillo b Ozzie & Super Crazy in a handicap match, Shane b Primo Carnera-DQ, Ricky Banderas & Apolo & Miguel Perez b Bruno & Chicky Starr & Victor-DQ


- Midwest Championship Wrestling on 6/1 in Streamwood, IL at the Community Center is doing an HWA vs. MCW angle with Chad Collyer & Danny Dominion vs. Chris Chetti & Eric Priest, Spanky vs. Colt Cabana, B.J. Whitmer vs. Black Dagger and more. For more info you can call 630-258-9040


- IPW on Saturday night in St. Petersburg, FL: Mark Zout b Concession Boy, Don Juan Desanto b Devin Nash, Shortbus b Bug & Dagon Briggs, Jerrelle Clark b Kid Krazy, Strong Brothers b Python & Frankie Capone, Justice b Live Wire, Mike Sullivan b Rod Steel, Dr. Heresy b Pat McGroin, Axis b Kubiak, Agent Steele b Scoot Andrews and Lex Lovett in three-way.(Consession Boy? Shortbus? Good Lord...)


- Maryland Championship Wrestling tomorrow night features a tribute to legends headlined by Ricky Morton vs. Bobby Eaton, plus Ricky Steamboat will referee and Sherri Martel will wrestle along with SATs and Red at Michaels Eighth Avenue in Glen Burnie, MD.(The Midnights and Rock 'N' Rolls collide AGAIN! Hell, I'd go to this show just to see Steamboat again. Also, I have a friend who's a rookie that was trained and works with the SATs. He's supposed to be sending me a video too, so if you're reading this, Tony... HURRY THE FUCK UP, DUDE! Heh... sorry bout that...)


Please credit Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer for all Indy news




Well folks, that's all the news for right now. My beloved Kings choked in Game 1, but they reloaded and came back in Game 2, so now it's ON in LA for Game 3 which should be competitive as hell. I'm just hoping for at LEAST a split in LA which would bring the series back to LA for the clinching win for Sacramento in the Demon City. OR, the Kings could just beat some Laker ass on their home floor and come back to Arco with a 3-1 series lead and wrap it up at home... :::: gets down on knees and prays ::::


Anyways, me and Damien are setting up the schedule for who does the news when, so be on the lookout for that in the next few days. Damien is a great writer and he could probably do this a shitload better then this brotha from 'Bama ever could, so check him out when ya get the chance along with all the rest of the crew here.


That's all for now, folks, so just remember this one LITTLE thing...




I love my mantra, don't you? ;)


Peace out, ya'll!


Byron Vester


e-mail me: [email protected]

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