SWF Storm (Oct 4/2002)

October 5, 2002

Above the spectacular pyro that arcs, loops, and flames, above loud noises from both the pyro and the crowd, Mark Stevens screams, “WELCOME, TO THE THIRD YEAR OF THE SMARKS WRESTLING FEDERATION!” The set for Storm has changed a bit to celebrate this, as Mark Stevens and Bobby Riley sit ringside, as usual.

“Welcome to SWF Storm! I’m Grand Slam Mark Stevens, and alongside me as always is the sexually ambivalent, Bobby Riley!”

“That’s -Hey! I think it’s clear where my sexuality lies.”

“Umm... riiight. But who cares about who you sleep with, when it’s the week after Genesis! And WHAT - A - SHOW! The grand showdown between Edwin MacPhisto and Chris Raynor-”

“That saw both men out of active competition, Raynor due to extensive injuries from the Demonstar Driver Alpha, and Edwin... due to unknown reasons...”

“Yes, Edwin MacPhisto has disappeared from the SWF. His whereabouts unknown. Wherever he is, I’d just like to say... thank you. Thank you for all the moments you’ve given us... and thank you for entertaining us.”

“Stevens... I know this is hard, but Edwin walked out on this company, and he can’t face up to what he did. His acoomplishments aside, Edwin is a coward.”

Stevens is silent, and his mind is torn. He changes the subject. “Speaking of Demonstar Drivers and their progenitor, Silent was defeated by Thoth in the Hell in a Cell match, and is out with a fracture. Who knows when he’ll be back... also, Chris Wilson won his last match against Divefire, with help from the new leader of the Magnificent Seven, Tom Flesher. And finally, El Luchador’s mystery challenger was... Jay Dawg!”

“Hey Stevens, wasn’t there a tag match? I think Xero was in it...”

“Eh... I think so.” Suddenly, “Little Mac’s Confession” by Game Over starts to play. Fans cheer, recognizing Thoth’s new theme music. True to form, the Balancer walks down the ramp, wearing a faint smile. He rolls into the ring.

“Please welcome... THOTH!” announces Funyon, who hands his mic over. Thoth waits for the flickering strobe light to fade, then starts to talk.

“I’m angry, and I’ll tell you why.” The crowd settles down a bit, Thoth not being one for pleasantries. “Last Sunday at Genesis, was probably the greatest night we’ve had... for battles. Chris Wilson (“BOO!”) versus Divefire (“YEAH!”)... me vs Silent (“Boo...”)... Chris Raynor versus Edwin MacPhisto...”

The crowd is deathly quiet as the Balancer speaks the last two names. No one is sure about how over they are, what side they’re on... and no one wants to look stupid. “Whether you love or hate them, they had, undoubtedly, the best fights of their lives last Sunday.” He pauses. “I’m still feeling the effects of Hell in a Cell, but I’ve been cleared for action tonight. I feel... maybe about 88%... 89 maybe. But Silent... He took the impact on the top of his back, so he’s still... alive. But he’s gone for now.”

“And now Wilson’s gone... Edwin’s gone... Raynor’s gone. And you see,” he says more quickly, pacing across the ring back and forth, “That puts me in a bad spot. A bad spot. I like fighting. I like beating the living hell out of other people, I like getting the hell beaten out of me... and I like to get paid for it!” The crowd pops loud, perhaps a cheap pop, but a cheap respectful pop.

“Who’d have thunk it, that Thoth off all people, could draw a cheap pop?” Says stevens, as Thoth continues. “And now the people that I truly enjoyed fighting... are gone. I can’t speak for Silent and Chris Raynor... but Chris Wilson and Edwin MacPhisto are damned cowards.” This gets a milder pop, as people are still confused as how to feel for the Crown Prince of Flash and Panache.

“What’s Thoth getting at?” says Stevens.

“Maybe he’s retiring too.”

“So let me tell you what. The way I see it... I’ve been around here a while... as part of the Clan. An organization which killed the souls of numerous people... wrestlers like John Doe... Christian Fury... John Kruger... and it’s time I repented for my crimes. Starting now,” he shouts, pointing straight down, “I’m going to make sure others don’t make the same mistake I did. ...even if I have to ‘force’ the agenda.”

“With a generation of wrestlers gone,” he says, concluding, “There’s a new generation stepping up. And the cycle of old will be repeated... good, evil, the fighting, the heartbreak, the victory, the scheming... and it sucks. It sucks. And I’m going to break the cycle.” Thoth’s music kicks up as he leaves the ring.

“Strong words by Thoth... but what do they mean? And... are they directed at anyone in particular?” speculates the Heavy Hitter.

“Thoth said that whatever was going to happen, was going to happen tonight, so we probably won’t have to wait long.”

“So stay with us, we’ve got plenty of action... up next, it’s a TORNADO tag match, for the titles! It’s a return match from Genesis, as Ash Ketchum and Xero fight Chilly Chilly Bang Bang!”

October 5, 2002

SWF Storm fades in from another inane commercial break, with the opening shot focused on the SWFTron. Suddenly, a Mexican voice comes over the speakers, shouting "UNO! DOS! TRES! CUATRO!" as a burst of pyro shoots upwards from each turnbuckle in conjunction with each shouted word. The fans immediately release a roaring pop as "Mission Trip to Mexico" by Bunch of Believers pounds over the speakers, signaling the entrance of El Luchadore Magnifico. The man himself pops out from behind the curtain, the World Title wrapped around his waist as he waves his Mexican Flag proudly. Magnifico pauses at the top of the ramp, grinning wildly, and thrusts his flag high into the air, creating a primo photo opportunity that many fans take advantage of.

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the SWF World Heavyweight Champion…El Luchadoooooooore Magnificooooooooooo!!

Upon hearing his name, Mag breaks his pose and quickly heads down the ramp, slapping fans' hands as he goes. As ELM approaches the ring, he suddenly breaks into a run, sliding beneath the bottom rope and popping to his feet. But instead of hopping up onto the turnbuckle, as per usual, Magnifico simply leans his flag up against the corner and walks across the ring, heading towards the timekeeper area as he signals for a microphone.

Stevens: It looks like Magnifico has a few things on his mind…and honestly, I can't blame him, considering what has happened over the past week In addition to his surprise defense against Jay Dawg, ELM had to deal with the departure of Edwin MacPhisto and the brutal match he took part in beforehand!

Riley: And with Edwin gone, do you realize what happens to the Midnight Carnival?

Stevens: *sigh* I can guess-

Riley: It dies!! Yes yes yes, the day has finally arrived! Magnifico, as the only remnant of that pathetic stable, is here to bury the Midnight Carnival once and for all!

ELM takes a mike from a random techie before turning towards the center of the ring, walking slowly with his head down as the crowd looks on expectantly.

"You'll excuse me," Magnifico begins, "If I'm not my…how you say…chipper self right now."

Riley: Chipper?!

Stevens: Shh!

"But the fact of the matter is, I've gone through a rough time lately." ELM pauses for a second as the fans murmur noncommittally. "I mean, it was bad enough when Raynor turned on me, Edwin, and Z…and it was just as bad when Z had to go…"

"…but honestly, I don't know how to react now that Senor MacPhisto is gone." ELM pauses momentarily as the crowd cheers a little for Edwin's name.

"I mean, Raynor and Z and I were compadres, tu sabes? Pero, Edwin was the man who turned my life around. He was the man who showed me what was wrong with my evil ways." says Magnifico, a hint of sadness in his voice.

"And with Edwin, Raynor, and Z gone…it looks like the Midnight Carnival…is dead." ELM finishes, immediately followed by a wave of boos from the audience.

Riley: Yee-hah! Get on with it, Magnifico!

"But…it only LOOKS that way, mis amigos." Exclaims ELM, a grin creeping across his face. "Even though none of the original members are here…even though the Carnival has practically been destroyed…I will NOT let it die."

The fans release an anticipatory pop, hanging on Magnifico's every word as he stands in the center of the ring, looking as excited as anyone else.

Riley: What the hell is this crap?! Give it up, Magnifico!

Stevens: 'Atta boy, Mag! Tell them! Tell them the Carnival lives on!

"Right now, it seems that I am the only member of the Midnight Carnival," Magnifico begins, "But I assure you, that will soon change." The fans only grow louder, as many of them guess what's coming next.

"So, without further…um…que es lo…ah yes, ado…" announces Magnifico, stumbling through his English, "Allow me to introduce to you the newest member of the Midnight Carnival, and a proud Canadian if there ever was one……

…C…I…A!!"

The fans go absolutely nuts as the lights in the arena change, slightly, with everything acquiring a red tinge as the SmarkTron flickers to life, portraying a Canadian flag, flowing in the wind, and the instrumental accompaniment to 'O Canada' playing. Or at least, the first verse, before....

*BOOM!* A bright red rush of pyro shoots up along the stage, glittering points of red light slowly drifting down from above, and a voice rings out, accompanied by the opening riff to 'Secret Agent Man', and the emergence of a masked figure, microphone in hand.

"Ladies and Gentleman!" CIA poses for a moment, basking in the cheers that are directed towards him. "Greetings from the frozen north!" Walking down towards the ring, CIA slaps hands with all the fans he passes. "Buy yourself a Canadian Beer, and get ready to have your eyes opened!" Making his way under the bottom rope, CIA rolls in to the center of the ring, coming to his feet and extending his arms out to the sides, Canadian flag dangling from the undersides of each arm, before bringing the microphone to his lips and tossing his head back one last time. "Raise your voices up, let the people smile! Cause I'm here, and I'm bringing the CANADIAN STYLE!" removing his jacket, CIA hands it to an attendant outside the ring, pulling himself up onto the ring apron and making his way over to Magnifico, extending one hand to the world champ. Magnifico takes CIA's hand, and the fans explode, as CIA and Magnifico raise their hands overhead in middle ring and turn around for the whole crowd to see.

Riley: Oh, this is just crap. Look at these two, trying their hardest to convince us the carnival is still going strong. Okay, Magnifico's the world champ, but CIA hasn't even managed to win a match yet.

Stevens: They're just giving the fans what they want, Riley. The Carnival is one of the most respected stables in SWF history. And Besides, CIA lost to Mak Francis, who is know to be a tremendously talented individual, partially due to a bad call by the ref.

Riley: That's how a biased individual like you would see it. While I, in my objectivity realize they're taking up valuable time where Tom FLESHER could be speaking to us. Do these two really think they're a match for his Magnificent Seven?

"Now I know what a lot of you people out there are thinking, eh?" The crowd, and Riley, falls into silence as CIA breaks away from Magnifico and begins to pace the ring, addressing the crowd. "You're probably wondering, just how are myself and Senor Magnifico going to handle things with the style, and more importantly, the aplomb you're all used to from those who choose to ride the Love Rollercoaster? I mean, the truth is, we've got foes on all sides, eh? Well, I don't have all the answers. All I know, that I can tell you fans is, as long as there's a breath in my Canadian chest, the Carnies will continue to rock the party. Cause Carnies rock the party BEST!"

A loud cheer goes up, while CIA happily turns to Magnifico, holding the microphone out for the SWF's favorite completely legal immigrant. Grinning wildly, ELM takes the microphone and raises it to his lips.

“Now, I know that right now, the Carnival looks like the non-American North American alliance,” states Magnifico, “But I assure you, the Midnight Carnival will soon be as strong and glorious as it once was. We will make sure of that.” ELM finishes, pointing to himself and CIA, who nods in approval.

“But for the moment,” Magnifico says, still grinning, “Let’s kick off this new era of the Carnival with a bang! Oye, music techie guy! Hit OUR music, esse!”

A second later, the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ “Love Rollercoaster” hits the speakers, accompanied by a deafening pop from the crowd. Magnifico and CIA head towards opposite corners and quickly climb the turnbuckles, thrusting their arms into the air as they are bathed with flashbulb light.

Stevens: There you have it, folks! No matter what adversity the Carnival faces, it cannot day as long as there are wrestlers around who still care about what the Midnight Carnival stands for!

Riley: Idiocy and weakness?

Stevens: Shut it, jackass. Folks, we’ve gotta go to commercial, but stick around, because we’ve got a lot more action coming up on SWF Smarkdown!

CIA and ELM hold their poses, excited and ready to shape the future of the Carnival, as the broadcast fades to darkness...

October 5, 2002

NO-DQ, TORNADO TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH

Frost & Taylor Nicholas Thompson © vs. Ash Ketchum & Xero

- This past Sunday, Frost and TNT successfully defended their titles, but they used underhanded shenanigans to do it. Ketchum and Xero will get another shot at the gold this Friday!

Match Description – Regular DQ and count-out rules are not in effect. All four men are allowed in the ring at once, no tags are required. The first team to get a pinfall, submission or knockout over one of their opponents within the ring is the winner.

Word Limit: 5000 words

WACKY 3-WAY LIGHT-HEAVWEIGHT TITLE MATCH

Tom Flesher vs. Annie Eclectic vs. Tod deKindes

- Tom Flesher won the ICTV title at Genesis, but he also has another title that wasn’t defended on the PPV. Flesher will defend the title against Annie and Tod deKindes, who of course have their own set of issues.

Match Description – DQ and count-out rules are in effect. In order to win the match, you must score a pinfall, submission or knockout over both your opponents. You are not eliminated from the match if you get pinned, made to submit or knocked out.

Word Limit: 5000 words

TAG TEAM MATCH

Sacred & Perfect Bo vs. El Luchadore Magnifico & Thoth

- Sacred will soon meet Magnifico in a SWF heavyweight title match, but for now ELM and Sacred will test the waters in a tag match. All 4 of the wrestlers in this match went through extremely tough battles this past Sunday…what kind of condition will they be in to fight for Storm?

Word Limit: 6000 words

October 5, 2002

The camera does a customary panning shot of the uproarious crowd before zooming around to focus on the commentator’s table.

Mark Stevens greets it a smile, “Now that we have the opening pleasantries…”

“And not so pleansantries…” Riley gruffs.

Stevens shifts a sideways glance at his commentating partner and continues. “As I was saying, with the opening pleasantries out of the way, we can get down to our first match.”

“A match that shouldn’t even be taking place. Frost and TNT wiped the floor with Ash and Xero at Genesis last Sunday. What have they done to receive a rematch?” Riley questions.

“Perhaps,” Stevens hypothesizes “they put on such a noble effort in losing that they caught the commissioner’s eye.”

Riley is taken aback and stares at Stevens like he had the plague. “Are you talking about the Stubby that I know, or some pod person Stepford Stubby that came in on the noon train?”

“Well, not even our fair commissioner can deny the shockwaves from Genesis and this match is just the first of many to deal with the aftermath of the greatest show of the year.”

“Until next month’s greatest show of the year.” Riley mutters under his breath.

The camera swoops around to focus on the ring and leave Stevens and Riley to commentate on voiceover. Funyon greets the crowd with a wave and raises his microphone to start the introductions.

“……”

“Not so fast there, Funyon, I can handle this one,” comes the seductive purr of Sarah Leavenworth as she steps out from behind the backstage curtain. The fans pop for the XF9 manager and former wrestler. She cocks her hips slightly and soaks in the cheers with a mysterious grin. “Figure 8” by Trust Company gears up on the sound system while green and white pyrotechnics blast from the sides of the stage and all around Sarah.

“Introducing,” Sarah calls “hailing from Port Colbourne, Ontario, Canada and weighing in at a fit and trim and might I say mouth watering 210 pounds. The NEWEST member of XF9, the King of the DDT… XEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Xero struts out to the stage with a grin to the loudest cheers he has ever heard in his life.

Riley: “THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! THIS IS…actually not that bad. Xero’s a huge loser anyway.”

“And his tag team partner,” Sarah continues “from Pallet Town at a weight of 258 pounds. He’s cute in a boyish kind of way, but alas spoken for. Accompanied by Mr. Nagasaki…ASH…KETCH…UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!”

Ash trots out on the stage to stand beside his partner and new stablemate. They shoot each other a thumbs up and run down the ramp to slap the hands of the eager fans. Mr. Nagasaki and Sarah exchange deep bows of mutual respect before she returns to the back and Nagasaki slowly follows after his two charges.

Stevens: “Xero, the newest member of XF9, what a coup for the rising stable.”

Riley: “Yeah, what with all of those OTHER stables lined up around the block to sign him.”

Ash and Xero slide into the ring and begin prepping for the coming contest while Nagasaki takes his place at ringside. Funyon raises his microphone up once more.

“……”

“That’s ok, Tons ‘o Fun, why don’t you have a seat before you hurt yourself.” The rabid boos come cascading down as TNT and Frost step out from the back. Thompson holds a mic in his hands, while Frost has a fidgeting Sarah in his, held high aloft in the choke slam position.

“We already have a leather wearing, trash talking sex pot in the back, but I guess we could use another one. It’s just not smart for you guys to leave your tramps laying around for any old Snowman to pick up.”

Ash and Xero hit the ground running and fly up the ramp with Mr. Nagasaki trailing behind. Frost goes to choke slam Sarah down, but she bites him hard on the wrist and he plops her down. Frost grimaces and looks at his bleeding and tooth marked wrist. He flushes red with anger and backhands Sarah so hard that she flies sideways into the back wall of the stage area. Frost turns around to deliver more punishment, but feels something leaps on his back and wrap around his neck.

Stevens: “ASH MAKES THE SAVE! Sarah is more than capable of handling herself, but perhaps not against such a rampaging beast.”

Riley: “And here I thought beastiality was a specialty of hers.”

Ash rides Frost around like a bucking bronco while TNT and Xero trade punches. Mr. Nagasaki sidesteps the action to assist Sarah up and escorts her to the back out of harm’s way.

DING DING DING

Stevens: “There’s the bell and this match is underway before it even hits the ring.”

Riley: “This is a no disqualification, no count out tornado tag after all.”

Stevens: “The type of match Ash wanted for Genesis.”

Riley: “Showing how stupid he is. This plays perfectly into CCBB’s strengths and strategy.”

Frost spins around and rams back first into the rear wall. Ash keeps his forearms bound tight around the big man’s neck. While heading down the ramp, Xero torques around on a roundhouse kick. TNT ducks to send Xero spinning around to face the ring. He drops to his hands and propels his legs back for a mule kick to Thompson’s gut.

Stevens: “Frost and TNT won by cheating at Genesis after the match devolved into a chaotic brawl.”

Riley: “So, this match starts out as a chaotic brawl with no holds barred and this gives XF9 the advantage? Stubby might want to double check his stash to make sure it’s all there.”

TNT stumbles backwards and lands on his rear. He quickly rolls over to all fours. Xero rushes over and skips up to TNT’s back. He springs off with all the thrust he can muster and sails across the stage to smack Frost in the chest with a springboard dropkick.

Stevens: “Wow! That had to be a leap of nearly six feet. Xero should join the Olympic long jump team.”

Riley: “Considering he squashed his partner even more on the move. Smart thinking. I guess that’s ok just as long as we don’t sign him up for Jeopardy!”

Frost drops to his knees and Ash releases his grip and rolls off to his feet. He trips around a second to gain his balance and then spies TNT stumbling down the ring ramp. Ash sprints toward him to spark the crowd anew. Thompson turns at the sound, just in time to see Ketchum winging toward him on a vertical splash.

Stevens: “Pokeball Press on the ramp! Ash wails away with punches.”

Riley: “Too fast! Too fast! The champs prefer a ‘methodical’ pace, this speed favors the challengers too much.”

Xero places his back against the near wall and cinches his legs around Frost’s throat in a head scissors choke hold. Frost claws at Xero’s legs and slumps over to his side.

Stevens: “Xero is squeezing the air out of the big man for all he’s worth! We could have a submission right here on the stage.”

Riley: “A-ha! ‘Mr. I-Can-Recite-Every-Show-Card-Since-Man-Crawled-Out-of-the-Primordial-Ooze’ the rules state that you must win in the ring.”

Stevens: “I’m ecstatic I could make your day, Bobby.”

TNT puts his hands up to block Ash’s barrage of punches and sneaks a quick jab to his stomach. Ash cringes from the shot for just a second, but it’s a second too long as TNT uses his leg strength to flip the mounted Ash over to splat back first on the ramp. Both men rocket to their feet. Ash charges with a forearm raised high, but TNT cuts him off with a knee to the gut. Ash flips over the knee and lands on his back once more. Thompson pops into the air and crashes down on Ash’s sternum with a hard elbow. Ketchum turns on his side holding his bruised chest. Taylor retakes his feet and nudges Ash off the ramp to the floor with the toe of his boot.

Stevens: “Ash takes a three foot drop to the concrete floor on the side of the ramp and is really reeling from that elbow drop.”

Riley: “Now we’re going to see something. Divide and conquer that’s the CCBB way.”

Thompson trips up the ramp to confront Xero. He releases his leg hold from Frost to welcome him and the big man flops flat on his back gasping for air. The sprightly Xero blasts-off toward TNT with a high leg clothesline he just barely ducks. Xero majestically sails through the air to come smashing down on the ramp. Xero barrel rolls through the bump and up to his feet. He spins around at the rising sound of the crowd and catches a spear flush in the midsection. He and TNT hurtle through the air and skid down the ramp to spill out into the ringside area.

Stevens: “A stunning blow by the Explosive One! All four men are down!”

Riley: “Not for long and not too long before the champs end this farce.”

Frost struggles up and goes lurching down the ring ramp with the downed Xero firmly in his sights. As he reaches the halfway point down the aisle, Ash appears out of nowhere to tackle Frost and they fly off the other side of the ramp to the floor.

Stevens: “All four men down again, but Xero and Thompson are showing signs of life.”

Riley: “Frost and TNT need to get this in the ring where they can more easily control the pace and dictate this contest.”

Xero claws his way up by the ring skirt and pulls himself to the apron. A woozy Thompson swings up to his feet as Xero steadies himself. He grabs the top rope and hops to the bottom strand. He launches himself head over heels with only a vague impression of where Thompson is standing below him. The fans ‘ooo’ and ‘aah’ at Xero’s graceful descent, but groan as Thompson picks him out of the air around the waist and rides his momentum to the floor with a piledriver!

Stevens: “Vicious counter by Thompson to prevent the apron to the floor lionsault. Xero could very well have a concussion.”

Riley: “Not that anyone would notice if he became a drooling, raving imbecile because he already is one. It’s clear that he’s been hanging out with Ash too much for him to try a foolish move like that.”

TNT lugs Xero’s limp body off the floor and tosses him into the ring. Thompson follows and flops on top for the cover.

ONE

TWO

THR-

Stevens: “Foot on the ropes! Here comes Ash and Frost!”

Ash Ketchum appears tripping down the side of the entrance ramp with his head down and a hand to his face. Frost stalks him from behind with his right hand clenched from the apparent punch. He comes up behind Ash and delivers a forearm to the back of his neck to send him spiraling forward to slump against the ring apron.

Riley: “Just what I said, the champs are slowing it down and getting it into the ring. The challengers cannot let Frost and TNT control this match if they want to win…not that they would anyway.”

In the ring, TNT hoists Xero to his feet and Irish whips him to the far ropes. Xero twists to take the cords on his back and charges back to TNT, lying in wait with his arm out for a clothesline. Xero dodges the blow and keeps running for the opposite ropes. He leaves his feet and…

Stevens: “XERO WIPES FROST OUT WITH A PLANCHA! Ash assists his partner up and the XF9 forces are taking a moment to regroup.”

Riley: “A moment they don’t have.”

A shadow drifts over the two faces and they raise their heads from conference to view the diving form of TNT gunning right for them! With no time to move, they attempt to catch him, but Thompson has too much velocity on his side and they go falling back into Frost to form a pile of struggling arms and legs.

Stevens: “TNT takes out the X Force 9 contingent by himself and we’re back out on the floor.”

Riley: “This could be the only match in history to end on a quadruple knockout.”

Everyone rolls around while the fans murmur, waiting. Thompson, who took the lightest bump, struggles up first. He slouches against the apron and puts his hands over his head in the “diamond cutter” position. He snaps them down with a loud “KABOOM!” to incite the jeers of the audience. He walks over and pulls Xero to his feet by the sides of his baldhead.

Stevens: “It appears that TNT is setting up the TKO, or fireman’s carry diamond cutter, to deliver more punishment to that injured neck of Xero.”

Riley: “Catching him for that piledriver was like blood to a shark. Xero’s neck and head are toast.”

TNT holds Xero across his shoulders and laughs at the booing fans. He flings the man off to the rear to complete the move, but Xero pushes himself off and lands on his feet. He wraps an arm around Taylor’s throat and hammers him down with an inverted DDT!

Riley: “Bad form! Doesn’t he have to warn Thompson about a counter like that according to the Treaty of Versailles or the Monroe Doctrine or something.”

Stevens: “Chilly Chilly Bang Bang might want to consider drawing up a peace treaty before they walk out of here tonight as the former tag champions. Xero rolls Thompson into the ring and we have a cover!”

ONE

TWO

THR-

Riley: “Shoulder up! The flyweight is going to have to hit a little harder.”

Frost sits up and wipes the sweat from his eyes as Ketchum climbs up by the nearby guardrail. Frost gives a sideways glance at Ash and forces himself to standup. In the ring, Xero drags TNT up by a fist full of cargo pants and snap suplexes him over. Thompson bounces up to a sitting position and Xero grabs a rear chinlock.

Stevens: “Xero takes the opportunity to work a wear down hold while he can, although Frost begins to look active again on the outside.”

Riley: “The key here is to neutralize and take out one man, but Xero is just wasting time and not paying attention to the events on the outside.”

Frost palms the back of Ash’s head and slams him face first into the guardrail. Frost roughly pitches Ketchum back into the side of the ring and charges with a shoulder block to the ribs. Ash’s face twists in a grimace and he drops to his knees then topples to his back.

Stevens: “One might remember that the ribs, along with the legs, were primary targets of CCBB in the Genesis title match. He’s had five days to heal, but is that enough?”

Riley: “He’s on his back screaming for mercy like a two bit hooker, so I’m guessing no.”

Frost puts his hands on the apron to steady himself and fires down three stomps to Ash’s stomach. Frost spies Xero working the chin lock and slips into the ring under the bottom rope and up to his feet.

Stevens: “Turn around Xero!”

Riley: “Brrrr…did it get cold in here or is it just Xero’s impending ass kicking.”

Frost bends over and collars Xero with a meaty forearm to rip him off of his partner to dangle over the canvas. Frost snakes his free hand up around Xero’s armpit and then readjusts the other into the same for a full nelson. Frost hunkers down for leverage and continues the punishment on the neck with a full nelson suplex!

Stevens: “Frost holds onto the full nelson and rolls up to his feet. FULL NELSON SLAM! HERE’S THE COVER!”

ONE!

TWO!

THR-

Stevens: “Near fall, kick out.”

Riley: “I see Xero is getting inducted into XF9 the right way. The Mag 7 is thumping his rump AND he has to carry Ash Ketchum.”

Ash makes his way into the ring for the first time, holding his ribs. Frost rockets to his feet and takes Ash off of his with a fierce clothesline. He hooks the leg for the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

TH-

Stevens: “Another near fall on the Hell Freezes Over!”

Riley: “Work the ribs, that’s what’s going to get them the win just like Sunday.”

TNT works his way up and Frost waves him over. Both men take a hunk of shorts and drape an arm a piece over their shoulders to send Ash for a ride that shakes the ring!

Stevens: “Double team suplex, and it looks like they’re going to give Xero some of the same.”

They pull their other opponent up and collar him the same while snagging the tights. They hoist Xero up vertical to the mat and stand there for a full thirty seconds before making a forty-five degree pivot and slamming him down. They each grab a leg and pull back while resting a shoulder on opposite sides of Xero’s chest.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE-

Stevens: “Ash with the save! That could have been it right there!”

Riley: “Could have been! COULD HAVE BEEN! Xero had a one way ticket for the job train and all his bags were packed.”

Everyone makes their feet, with Frost pairing off with Ash and TNT with Xero. The heels drive the faces back to diagonal corners and work them over with punches and kicks. They glimpse at each other over their shoulders and take their respective man by the wrist.

Stevens: “Big time double team move forthcoming. Ash and Xero are whipped into each other…NO!”

Ketchum and Xero pull up short and link elbows. They do-sie-do around to switch partners and make running leaps back on the heels with Stinger splashes! However, CCBB plant themselves firm and catch each man around the waist to whack them down with stereo spinebusters!

Riley: “Fancy and effective! That’s the type of team CCCBB is, they are so in tune with each other they know exactly what the other is going to do.”

Stevens: “Despite the nice attempt at team work there by Ash and Xero. Frost with Xero, TNT with Ash now as the beating continues.”

Eddie Long stands in the middle of the ring keeping one eye on the action in each corner. Frost pummels Ash with stiff shots on the mat, while Thompson jerks Xero to his feet and chops him in the turnbuckles. He pulls Xero out with a waistlock and twirls him up to put him down with a sideslam. He holds on for the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE-

Stevens: “Kick out! Now it’s Frost’s turn for a big move!”

Frost yanks Ash up and restrains him with an arm across his chest and under his left armpit. Frost lets loose with a grunt before flinging Ash down on his back with an uranage!

Riley: “ICE SHELF! Don’t let the door hit your stretcher on the way out Ash.”

ONE!

TWO!

THREE-

Stevens: “NO! NO! ASH SNEAKS A FOOT ON THE ROPES! HE NEVER SAYS DIE!”

Riley: “Unless you count the submission at Genesis.”

Stevens: “And even then he hung on until his last breath and gritted through the pain in his body.”

TNT stands and pulls Xero up to his feet. Xero spins around Thompson and makes with a rear waistlock. He charges forward and runs him smack dab into the unawares Frost. The two men are driven back into corner. They stand there stunned as Xero backs up and tumbles forward like a Chinese acrobat to nail Thompson with a springing back elbow! TNT sandwiches Frost again and is then snagged around the neck by Xero and pulled out a few steps to be smoked with a neckbreaker!

Stevens: “Great combination of moves and we have a cover!”

ONE!

TWO!

THRE-

Stevens: “No! Frost drops an elbow for the break. He was dazed in the corner, but not too badly.”

Riley: “Frost brings that punk to his feet and Xero’s going to get it now.”

Frost whips Xero into the near corner chest first. He ricochets out and Frost collects him around the neck for an inverted DDT. Before he can snap it off, Xero grips Frost’s beefy bicep and does a chin up. With a flick of his legs, he flips himself over the arm and seizes Frost’s throat as he whizzes by for an inverted DDT of his own! He lays loosely on top for the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE-

Riley: “SHOULDER UP!”

The fans groan as Xero stares up at Long and pleads for the three count.

Stevens: “What Xero ‘got’ there was a near fall after reversing the bounce out inverted DDT. You can’t out DDT the King of that maneuver.”

Riley: “Really? I don’t remember any coronation ceremony for his punk ass.”

Ash pulls himself up by the ropes and Xero calls out to his partner. Ash turns his head as Xero heads for the opposite ropes. Ketchum shakes his head in getting the plan and lurches over to Frost with one hand on his ribs. Xero springs off the ropes with crisp speed and into the waiting arms of his partner. Ash hauls him up in a gorilla press position and tosses him off with ease. Xero hovers in the air for a split second before tucking in, folding out and drilling Frost with a frog splash!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE-

Stevens: “Thompson flies in out of nowhere with an elbow for the break. We were a breath away from new champs!”

Riley: “Save that breath, Mark, although I’ll doubt if you need it. Ash and Xero are playing around too much, while Frost and TNT just want the win so they can go party.”

Ash kicks TNT in the side of the head before he can rise. Thompson rolls over on his back and Ash jumps over the lame forms of Frost and Xero to drop a knee on TNT’s chest. He rolls through it back to his feet and twists around on his right foot to drop a precisely measured elbow. He lateral presses for a cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE-

The fans let out an exasperated shriek as Frost yanks his partner out from under Ash like a magician doing the old tablecloth trick.

Stevens: “Normally, I’d be chiding Frost for cheating, but in this match everything is legal and you have to know how to use that to your advantage.”

Riley: “Precisely, and that’s going to defeat Ash and Xero in the end.”

Ketchum leans up to his knees and Frost shuffles over on his to land a punch to the midsection. Ash puts a hand to his battered ribs, but Frost fires in two more quick blows and finishes with a backhand to the jaw. Ash crumples to his side. TNT scuttles over to Xero as he attempts to pull himself up by the ropes and fells him with a forearm to the back of the neck. Xero plummets face down to the mat and TNT drags him by the ankles to the middle of the ring. He sits on Xero’s back and pulls up on his chin while grapevining his loose arm with his legs. Frost tugs Ash up and snakes one arm across his throat and another up under his shoulder.

Stevens: “IN THE CLUTCHES! THE XF9 BOYS ARE IN THE CLUTCHES! Thompson with the camel clutch! Frost with the cobra clutch!”

Riley: “Now the contest becomes which loser can tap out first.”

Stevens: “Both men fading fast. Thompson is just wrenching on that damaged neck with what he calls the Short Fuse while Ash is having a hard time forcing air into his lungs with those battered ribs. Each breath must sting white hot and Frost isn’t making it any easier for him.”

Eddy Long stand between both pairs of men, looking first at one and then the other. He runs around toward Xero, who shakes his head in defiance and Long darts back toward Ash. Long lifts one arm up in the air and it falls limply down. He pulls it up again and it quickly drops once more. He shakes his head and lifts it up again just as a building cheer rifles through the crowd……

Stevens: “IT’S MR. NAGASAKI! HE’S RETURNING TO AIDE HIS PRIZED STUDENT AND HE’S GOT A CHAIR!”

Riley: “Mr. Nagasaki to the rescue. I’m sure this will get us that ever important World War I veteran demographic.”

Nagasaki glides into the ring and to his feet, defying his age and harnessing his years of training and martial arts expertise. He bops Thompson on the crown of the skull before he can move and he releases the hold to fall over. He charges Frost, but he throws Ash at him as a diversionary tactic. He sidesteps Ketchum’s hurtling dead weight with cat like reflexes and twirls around to drive the top of the chair into Frost’s chiseled abs. The fans pop crazily.

Riley: “GET THAT ANCIENT BABOON OUT OF THERE! HE HAS NO BUSINESS IN THAT RING! THAT’S ILLEGAL!”

Stevens: “Now it’s my turn to remind you of the rules of this contest. No disqualification, outside help is perfectly legal and don’t think Frost and TNT wouldn’t accept some aide if offered.”

Riley: “Well, I’m sure it would come from someone who wasn’t Jesus’ high school gym teacher!”

Nagasaki rears back with the chair to brain Frost, but TNT rips it out of his hands. He twirls around, the belt coming loose from his gia and the silk fabric billowing around him. Nagasaki attacks with a rising palm strike combo that sends Taylor sprawling back.

Stevens: “That chair shot might have been a light tap, but Nagasaki still knows how to deliver that palm strike combo with authority that we’ve seen Ash use on many occasions.”

Riley: “Palm strike THIS!”

Frost recovers to catch Nagasaki with a rear waistlock before he can reset himself. The wizened master shoots back an elbow to break, but time and age has taken away too much of his speed. Frost whips him over with a brutal absence of malice right on top of his neck. He flips over on his face and tumbles to the floor. Frost cockily stands up with a grin on his face, but that is quickly removed by…

Riley: “DON’T GRAB THE CHAIR!”

Nagasaki’s discarded weapon comes hurtling toward Frost and he catches it out of instinct. He holds it up in front of his face and before he can drop it, Ash wallops the chair with a spinning roundhouse kick.

***CLANG***

The chair dents in from the force of the blow and from impacting Frost’s face on the other side. The Icelandic Iceman drops the chair and falls into the ropes with his eyes rolling into the back of his head.

Stevens: “DON’T CELEBRATE ASH!”

The fans’ screaming is quieted as TNT snags an unsuspecting Ketchum from behind with a half nelson. Thompson belts out a “KABOOM!” as he rips the Poke Freak over his head with a suplex. TNT lets go and spins up to his feet…only to be surprised by Xero with a hurricanrana! Xero squats down with all his weight on Thompson’s chest for the pin.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE-

Stevens: “A still woozy Frost breaks with a big boot to the back of the head! He’s extolling TNT to get up and is pointing at Ash. What’s that in his hand?”

Riley: “I think it’s the sash from Nagasaki’s robe. I hope he’s got underwear on underneath that thing.”

TNT whips Thompson into the far ropes and then takes one end of the sash from Frost. The hold it between them like a clothesline and stand pat to catch Ash with it as he runs by. Ketchum gathers his wits long enough to figure out the plan and leaves his feet with a body press to the middle of the makeshift line. His weight snaps it together and the two heels slam into each other to bump noggins!

Stevens: “Have you ever seen a move like that, Bobby?”

Riley: “Miami. 1991.”

TNT slumps down in the ropes while Frost loses his balance and falls over. Ash scrambles for the pin.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE-

Stevens: “Frost tosses Ash off to the floor. OWE! He landed on his down mentor’s knees, hurting those ribs again.”

Frost pulls himself up by the ropes. Xero sees him and charges. A groggy Thompson dives with a knee clip to trip him up and gives Frost the time to run forward with a clothesline.

Riley: “Double Goozle! Frost is pointing for TNT to go up top and hooks Xero in a head scissors. Oh, this match just got good!”

TNT shakily ascends the ropes to the top while Frost flips Xero up and against his chest. Ash claws his way up by the apron and tries to help Mr. Nagasaki. Frost powerbombs Xero down with the force of a sledgehammer as Taylor flies from on high with a Shell Shock to provide the exclamation point! Ash hears the ruckus in the ring and adverts his gaze from Nagasaki. He slides in to break the pin, but TNT rolls off of Xero and up to his feet. He cuts Ash off with a Cactus Clothesline and both men land with a thump on the floor, done for the bout.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DING DING DING

Funyon: “Here are your winners by pinfall! Frost and TNT …CHILLY…CHILLY…BANG…BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Stevens: “The Avalanche picks up the win! It took Frost’s last ounce of strength to pull that one off as he’s heaving for breath in the ring just as dead as the other combatants in this contest.”

Riley: “Someone call the meat wagon to get the corpses while we go to commercial. Damn, I love those tacos.”

October 5, 2002

The arena goes dark, and Funyon announces, "Ladies and gentlemen, A Few Minutes With Tom Flesher!"

The intro to the Philosopher Kings' "I Am The Man" begins to play through the arena, and Flesher's blue pyro goes off. After a few moments, it gives way to a blue explosion. Tom Flesher steps through the curtain wearing the black fedora given to him by Chris Wilson. Flanked by his two familiar belt girls, he poses for the crowd before beginning to strut confidently to the ring. When he gets there, he holds the ropes for each girl and then enters. He looks around and claps twice, and immediately two ringboys hand folding chairs into the ring. The belt girls take their respective seats, and Flesher smilingly takes the microphone.

"Hello, hello, hello," he says to the capacity crowd. "It's been quite the week for the Superior One, as I'm sure you're all aware. First of all, Chris Wilson handed me the reins of the biggest, most powerful and most important stable in the history of the SWF. That alone would let me die a happy man. But later that night, I beat Perfect Bo for the ICTV Title. Not only did I beat him, but I made him tap to the Superior Stretch Beta. I bet his neck STILL doesn't feel right." Flesher pauses for the fans to boo and adjusts his fedora for a second before continuing.

"So yeah, it's been a pretty damn good week for me, and as a matter of fact for the Magnificent Seven, too. We've gotten stronger - me and Mak, Frost and TNT, Annie Eclectic and Mercury.... we're all above the rest of you. Unfortunately, that leaves us without a challe-"

Flesher is cut off midsentence by the opening strains of "Quarantined" by At The Drive In. Thoth steps through the curtain, crosses his arms, and stares at Flesher.

"Oh, LOOK," says Tom. "It's THOTH! The guy who's been bitching about having no competition! Oh, tell me, Balancer, what nugget of joy would you like to bestow upon us today? Are you going to anally rape someone? Spank them after they ride a bus for twelve hours? Dance for us?"

Thoth merely stands, arms crossed, and stares at Flesher.

"Listen, Yuuichiro, as far as I'm concerned, the Magnificent Seven is the wave of the future. Right now, we've got the majority vote as far as titles go, and Annie's practically got the Hardcore Gamers strap around her waist. What do you have? Oh, that's right. A catheter."

Still no response from Thoth.

"So listen, old man, go back to Japan, or Mongolia, or Africa, or wherever it is you came from, and quit trying to strut around like you own the place. Go fuck Baba's wife and come up with a new finisher, since we all know your knees can't take doing the Riot of Blood anymore. Don't want to shatter our patella, now, do we? Damn osteoporosis." Flesher snaps his fingers and shakes his head, sighing in mock frustration.

Thoth emotionlessly mouths the words, "I'm twenty-four."

"In any event, that's about all the time I have for the night. Stay tuned, fans, to see me and Annie break Tod deKindes in half, and you might just get to see Thoth fall and break a hip... because we're the Magnificent Seven, we're the main attraction, and we're the wave of the future!"

With that, "I Am The Man" starts to play, and Flesher grins smugly to himself. Without another word, Thoth turns around and walks back into the locker room. We fade.

October 5, 2002

The crowd rises to their feet. The camera pans over sign after sign,

stopping at one stating "SJL: SIGN MEMPHIS RICH NOW!" and another saying

"Tom Is Superior! Now Gimmie A Belt Girl~!". A graphic swooshes in as

three figures frozen in pose are superimposed over the screen. Tom

Flesher, arms akimbo with a cocky smile on the left. On the right, Tod

deKindes, standing straight with a look of total concentration. In the

middle, with a deadly stare with a thumb pointed towards her heart stands

the twisted Annie Eclectic. The words "Light Heavyweight Title Match"

scroll under the graphic as we hard cut to the announcer's table where

"Grand Slam" Mark Stevens and Bobby Riley sit.

Stevens: A hot start to Storm tonight, with the Tag titles having already

been defended and a great show of talent from Mercury and CIA. But now, we

have something completely different. This match has gotten some

significant media buzz in the wrestling world. Double champion Tom Flesher

has his Light Heavyweight belt put on the line tonight in... well an

interesting stipulation match to be certain. He's against his fellow

Magnificent Seven stablemate, Annie Eclectic and the man that she's been

trying to destroy, the noble Tod deKindes from X Force Nine. Before we

mention anything else, I'll let Bobby Riley mention the rules.

Riley: Thanks Mark. The rules are simple when you get down to it. Three

fighters, you need to get two falls, one on each of your opponents. If

Annie hits Tom with her Kendo Sword, that's one for Tom. If Tom then pins

Tod in the ring, Tom retains. Get one fall from each opponent. Simple?

Only if you're from Calgary.

Stevens: ... You never quit, do you Bobby.

Riley: Wouldn't be me if I did.

Stevens: Annie and Tod have been heating up lately after an incredibly

controversial call from Genesis, and Tom is a wildcard. Will he help

Annie, or does he decide to try to keep both belts? Can the two

Magnificent Seven fighters stay coheseve, or will Tod be able to get each

of them at each other's throats and make his falls? It's almost handicap,

but there are too many wildcards. Don't leave to get snacks folks, this

will be a match to remember!

Riley: Funyons in the ring biznatch, shut up and let the man speak.

Funyon: This match, set for one... wait two. No. Uh... This match, for the

Light Heavyweight title, is a... *ahem* WACKY THREE WAY MATCH!

The crowd cheers, if somewhat confused. Some of them turn to their

programs to figure out what the hell Funyon's talking about. They don't

get much time as smoke start to build at the top of the entrance ramp.

"Cold" by Static-X starts to play at the crowd begins to pick up, shouting

it the name of Tod deKindes.

Funyon: Introducing first, representing X Force Nine, and weighing in at

two hundred twenty five pounds... Tod deKindes!!!

A completely serene Tod deKindes walks out from behind the curtain, mildly

acknowledging his fans with a small wave. Reaching the ring, he removes

his flailing trenchcoat and hundred dollar shades as he walks the steps up

the ring and enters, climbing to the nearest second turnbuckle and roaring

to the crowd, who willingly returns the yell. He hops down and walks to

the other end, climbing that turnbuckle and giving a repeat performance

before stepping down. He paces the back end of the ring, staring towards

the ramp as the lights return to normal.

Stevens: Tod seems a bit more jumpy than usual, he's been on the recieving

end of a good amount of mental anguish. One of his opponents tonight,

Annie Eclectic, has found something in Tod's past relating to a woman

named Sara he doesn't like anyone knowing. If Eclectic finds a way to

exploit this she may have an advantage.

Riley: It's hard to say if anyone would have any type of advantage in this

match. You can't just pin one person and say "Hey, I won". This will be

grueling to say the least.

"I Am The Man" begins to play, with a healthy chorus of boos following it.

A tall blonde woman walks out, holding what appears to be the ICTV title

in her hands. She is followed by a striking woman from the orient, holding

the Light Heavyweight title in her hands. She is followed by a busty

redhead holding two golden statuettes. All three are wearing matching blue

blouses with short but flowing blue tartan skirts...

Stevens: Uh, they're either blue schoolgirls or blue kiltmen. I'm not sure

which. Disturbing....

Riley: It's the heighth and breadth of fashion Mark!

Stevens: Riiiiight.

Funyon: Introducing second, he is the leader of the Magnificent Seven, and

the current SWF Light Heavyweight Champion, Intercontinental Television

Champion, Champion of the Lower class, Middle class, Upper class, the

Elite, and Himself....

the Superior One, Tom Flesher!

Tom Flesher finally makes his appearance at the top of the ramp, adjusting

his newly recieved black fedora. The three Belt/Award girls follow behind

him as he makes his way to the ring.

Stevens: Uh, doesn't the champion usually come out first or last? I've

never seen him come out in the middle of announcements.

Riley: He so superior that he can beat Tod's entrance and spoil Annie's!

He's SUPERIOR~!

Stevens: You're an IDIOT~!

Flesher walks up to the ring apron, placing his hat on the ring post

nearest him. Sitting on the ropes, he allows his belt girls to enter the

ring one by one before entering himself. He takes Funyon's microphone

brusquely from his hand and turns to the waiting and obviously wary Tod

deKindes.

Flesher: Cut the music. *music ends and arena turns to normal* Tod. Heh

heh, Tod, my dear boy. You think because you got lucky once with me, that

somehow you can follow in my footsteps? Trying to be US and Light

Heavyweight Champion? Thinnking you can take my ICTV title soon after?

You're just -not- cut out for it!

Flesher: See, if you don't learn, you'll never get this good. You won't

have Belt Girls like Sara, Sara, and Sara here.

Tod deKindes starts to fume at mention of the names. He makes like he's

about to attack but pulls back from the Belt girls between him and

Flesher. The crowd nearly drowns out the PA system, forcing Tom Flesher to

raise his voice into the microphone....

Flesher: Ha ha, you just don't get it do you? You don't have what it

takes. You're to worried about honor, too worried about doing things the

right way. It takes a bit of cunning to get where I am. I bit of, oh I

don't know, ... smarts!

Tod gets one step closer to forgetting about the Belt girls and rushing

the double champion but holds his anger down another step. Empty beer cups

start to litter the ring, one bouncing off the Blonde Sara who's gamely

keeping the smile on her face.

Flesher: You dont never grasp simple strategy. Like the simple ref bump.

Or the hidden brass knuckles. Or even, the sneak attack.

With that the Asian Sara drops the Light Heavyweight title and flies

forward with surprising speed, superkicking Tod deKindes in the chest and

knocking him backwards in a daze. Her wig falls off, showing her natural

short bob.

Stevens: ANNIE WAS THE BELT GIRL! Why even DO that? Is Flesher really that

arrogant?

Riley: No, he's SUPERIOR~! What better way to get into the mind of your

opponentthan that? He even named the girls "Sara" how good is that?

Stevens: Annie knew about Tod's past, that's sickening to use something

like that to get to anyone. It's downright Wilson-esque.

Riley: Well, she learned something then.

DING DING DING

The remaining Saras leave hastily, dragging their respective awards out

and handing them to the timekeeper. Annie Eclectic smooths her tartan

skirt down before following in her superkick with a series of left jabs to

Tod's face. Dragging her former stablemate forward, Annie grabs Tod's

wrist and twists it up on over her head as she rotates in a circle,

twisting his arm into an arm bar. Tod screams out at the pain, but then

rolls forwards on the mat, twists his body fourty five degrees, the

kippups to a standing position, untwisting his arm. The crowd applauds at

the technical skill applied as Tod takes his turn to twist Annie's arm

into an unnatural angle.

Stevens: Perhaps the mind games don't work tonght, as Tod deKindes clears

his mind and puts on a show of technical skill, something not known to

happen with Annie Eclectic.

Riley: Are you saying she can't fight a technical match?

Stevens: No, of course not.

Riley: Good.

Stevens: Oh wait, I mean to say yes. Yes, she can't.

Annie struggles against the arm lock, writhing in pain. Steeling herself,

she clumsily rolls herself on the mat, twisting her body, then kipping

herself back up with s surprised look on her face. She twists up and

around, bringing the arm lock back to it's original state.

Riley: How about that!

Stevens: Yeah, Annie's reversal could only be matched in grace by El

Luchadore Magnifico. Or The Boston Strangler. Or G0R0.

Riley: Please now, that's a bit far. That was easily more graceful than

G0R0!

Stevens: I don't know, I think G0R0 would be more graceful biting the head

off his opponent.

Tod yells out in pain, going back down for a roll, twisting, then leaping

up out of nowhere onto Annie's thighs. deKindes grabs Annie by the hair

and leans back, rolling her up and away in a monkey flip. The Hardcore

Queen lands with a THUD~! on the mat, releasing the hold she had on Tod.

The XF9er hops to his feet, quick to kick the rising Annie E in the

stomach, doubling the woman over. Tod locks in a quick front face lock,

swinging both bodies to his left and leaving his feet. Both fighters end

up back to back as Annie's neck is bent over Tod's shoulder and drilled

into it upon impact. Eclectic crumples to the mat face up as Tod reaches a

standing position running. He bounces off the ropes.... and comes back

right into a hard lariat from the double Champ!

Stevens: Tom Flesher finally decides to show up in the match, taking out

Tod just as he was about to finish the swinging neckbreaker to knee drop

combo.

Riley: Do you think Tom is going to waste unneeded effort here? Please, he

has to keep himself set to defend that shiny new ICTV belt. He'll let

Annie fight her fight, and come in when necessary.

Stevens: This is no better than a handicap match!

Riley: I know! Isn't it great?

The crowd boos unmercilessly as Tom reaches down to drag Tod deKindes to

his feet. Cinching up a front facelock, Tom wraps Tod's arm up over his

head, then grabs Tod by the tights and lifts up. Both men create a stright

line from the mat to the sky as Flesher holds his opponent high up...

holding... holding.... then falling back, drilling Tod deKindes headfirst

into the mat. Tom pops back up to his feet, surveying the damage he

wrought. Looking behind him he sees Annie Eclectic rise to her feet. Tom

looks up, raises his hands high showing no attack, then walks away from

Tod. Annie takes her cue to run up and kick deKindes hard in the ribs as

he tries to get up.

Stevens: This is becoming a disgrace to the sport right here.

Riley: Shut up and enjoy the carnage Mark, there's more to come!

Stevens: I doubt I can disagree.

Annie sends another kick into Tod's side before dragging him up to a

standing position. Locking up, Annie snaps her opponent up and over,

dropping deKindes to the mat with a snap suplex. Rolling over, Eclectic

hooks a leg as the official drops for the count....

ONE...

TWO...kickout!

Annie brings Tod up to his feet, rears back, and unleashes a hard chop to

the chest of deKindes. A second chop forces Tod to lean against the ropes, and a third nearly takes him up and over. Annie irish whips Tod into the ropes, bouncing off her side and flying into the air with her arm extended out. Her arm meets Tod's throat in the center of the ring, dropping him to his back. Annie runs to the side ropes, flying across the ring face up and dropping with a splash back-first onto Tod's chest with a senton! Annie hooks a leg as the official drops to make the count....

ONE...

TWO...

TH..KICKOUT!

Stevens: Annie still can't get the three, and Flesher isn't even trying to do anything in this match! Look at him, he's on the far corner turnbuckles just sitting there!

Mark Stevens is correct, as Tom Flesher is indeed away from the action, sitting on the top turnbuckles, yawning and yelling a trite comment towards the crowd when needed. Annie on the other hand has brought Tod to a sitting position and runs to the ropes behind him. She runs back, flipping over deKindes while grabbnig his head at the same time. On impact she yanks hard on his head, benging his torso in an obscene fashion before the potential energe snaps his body hard backwards to the mat with a snapmare. Annie again goes for the cover...

ONE....

T..KICKOUT!

Stevens: Not even a two count! Tod may have shown life enough to get himself back into this matchup!

Riley: It doesn't matter, because no matter what he does here, it will most likely be against Annie E, leaving Tom Flesher still nice and fresh. He can do anything he likes and is still my favorite to win.

Stevens: Did you bring your special coffee for him to use like you usually do?

Riley: Hell yeah!

Riley takes out a thermos, and pours out a piping hot cup of black coffee.

Stevens: Ugh, how anyone can drink coffee black I'll never know.

Riley: I brought some superior cream to give him too if he wants.

Stevens: You wish you could give him your cream.

Riley: What?

Stevens: You heard me.

Annie starts to lift Tod into a standing position, but loses her strength as deKindes throws a punch to the ribs of Annie E. Annie reaches for his head again but gets another left hook to the side. Tod brings himself to a standing position and sends a chop of his own to Annie's chest. A second, followed by a hearty "WOOO" from the crowd, a third... fourth... fifth, and then an irish whip to the near corner. Annie's body shudders upon impact with the turnbuckles, but then folds nearly in half as Tod follows her in with a hard spear! Tod grabs her wrist and starts to Irish whip Annie towards the far corner... the one where Tom just noticed that someone was coming his way. Tom Flesher stands up on the top of the rope, watching Annie Eclectic get closer... and closer... as Tod deKindes is following her in, Tom leaps off the top rope just as Annie Eclectic collides with it. Flesher lashes out with his Doc Marten-clad foot, which lands square on the ear of Tod deKindes, knocking him down hard to the mat. The crowd begins to boo, with a chant of "FLESHER SUCKS! FLESHER SUCKS!" quickly rising from the audience.

Stevens: AGAIN! Tod deKindes finally starts to get momentum again, only to have it pulled out from under his feet by Tom Flesher!

Riley: A SUPERIOR strategy, and damn, that man looks awesome coming off the top rope.

Stevens: Pull your tongue out of his ass before I rip it from your mouth.

Riley: Owwww.....

Tod deKindes rolls with the hit, coming back up and looking very angrily at the retreating Tom Flesher. Tod rushes forward, yelling at the double champion. Flesher smiles a cocky smile, hands up in a non agressive pose. Tod shoves the champion backwards and yells in his face, but still Flesher doesn't attack. Tod shoves the champion again, but doesn't get a reaction out of Tom Flesher. deKindes slaps the champion across the face, and this time Flesher rears back and gives Tod deKindes the biggest bitch slap he's ever had. Tod's head snaps back towards Flesher, both men looking eye to eye as the crowd voices start to build again at the confrontation. Words are exchanged, both men getting red faced. Tod rears back for a hard left... but falls backwards and gets rolled up by Annie Eclectic from behind....

ONE..

TWO...

THREE!!!

DING DING!

Funyon: Annie Eclectic has scored her first fall, over Tod deKindes at eight minutes and thirty two seconds. The score is Annie Eclectic one , Tom Flesher and Tod deKindes zero.

Stevens: Annie E scores a cheap fall over Tod deKindes to get on the board, but this match has been nothing but cheap shots and attacks from behind for the X Force Niner.

Riley: Bitch bitch bitch, just cause your boy isn't doing well.

Stevens: Riley, if this was jail, we'd be filing rape charges!

Riley: *drools* mmm, prison rape....

Stevens: .....

Annie rolls out of the schoolboy and rises to her feet, pretending to knock imaginary dust off her blue skirt and blouse. Tod rises to his feet, confused at first but then comprehending what occured. Looking up at his female opponent, he rushes forward in sheer rage, causing the woman to slide to the outside to avoid whatever attack may come her way. Tod rolls to the outside in pursuit....

ONE.....

Annie skips over the steel steps, running to the ramp side of the ring, and dropping to her knees...

TWO....

.... searching underneath the ring for something, anything to take out Tod deKindes who has just rounded the corner to her side of the ring....

THREE...

... and knocks the Kendo Sword she picked up out of her hands with a side kick! Another kick keeps Annie E down to the floor as Tod reaches over....

FOUR....

... picking up the Kendo sword, and DRILLING it into Annie's forehead, knocking her flat to the mat. Tod notices movement out of the corner of his eye....

FIVE....

.... and whips the sword hard up towards the ring. The sword collides with Tom Flesher's forehead who was rushing to make a save. As the double champ falls backwards, the referee signals to the timekeeper....

DING DING!

Funyon: Tom Flesher gains a fall over Tod deKindes by disqualification! The score is now Tom Flesher one, Annie Eclectic one, and Tod deKindes zero.

Riley: HA HA! What an idiot, giving up two falls in succession!

Stevens: No, its brilliant! The winner of the match has to get a fall on BOTH of their opponents. If he hits Annie again with that sword, or Tom for that matter, what's going to happen? He get's DQed again? It doesn't MATTER! Tod can do whatever he wants now to either opponent! Just as long as Tom or Annie don't pin the other.

Riley: ... oh no.

Stevens: That's right! If Tom wants to retain, or Annie wants to get her first gold, they have to fight! Tod is a free man here and can do as he pleases! This match has only begun!

Tod deKindes rolls into the ring, his face a mask of anger and rage. He lifts the sword high and crashes it down onto the forehead of Tom Flesher. Tod lifts it again and brings it down a second time... then a third, cracking the wood over the champion's head. The official steps in and yells at deKindes, demanding he drop the weapon. deKindes refuses, trying to push the official out of the way but the referee grabs the hilt of the sword and manages to tear the weapon out of the XF9er's hands. Tod makes a vain grab for the weapon but gets KICKED AWAY by a superkick from Annie Eclectic who recovered enough to attack her opponent. Tod flies to his side and crashes near the corner. Annie turns and drags Tom Flesher back up to his feet and both stalk their opponent as the referee drops the weapon off to his side to follow. Annie and Tom start to mudhole stomp the defenseless Tod deKindes as the official begins to count....

ONE...

TWO...

THREE..

FOUR...

... and Annie immediately breaks off her attack to argue with the ref. She walks up to him and turns him with her forcing the referee to turn his back away from the champion, who reaches around and wraps his fingers around the hilt of the Kendo Sword....

Stevens: TURN BACK AROUND! Dammit, that she-demon is keeping the ref from seeing this cheap attack from the champion!

Riley: Stop marking out and enjoy the carnage for once! HA HA!

... Tom whips the hilt of the sword around and connects HARD on the crown of Tod deKindes. Any struggle left in his body quickly drains as the weapon connects Tom throws the sword to the outside and begins to pound on the open already wounded head of Tod deKindes just as the referee turns back around. He begins another five count but the champ stops at two and rolls the near unconcious deKindes to the outside. The crowd begins booing louder than ever, another chant of "FLESHER SUCKS! FLESHER SUCKS!" comes up.

Stevens: This is a travesty of justice. Tod deKindes has the heart of a giant and is just getting screwed over here by two selfish uncaring bastards in the ring.

Riley: Just like Flesher said, Tod is too worried by things like 'honor' and 'justice' to make it in this league. He COULD become the new Light Heavyweight champion, but no, Flesher and Eclectic are just too smart to allow him to.

Stevens: Speak of the devils, we now only have two people in the ring....

The crowd begins to realize this as well as Tom Flesher slowly gets up, looking at his stablemate, Annie Eclectic. Annie E looks side to side, as if checking that no one is behind her before taking a fighting stance. Both fighters circle the ring, staring at each other and trying to anticipate who might attack first. Tension starts to build inside the ring, even as the crowd begins to chant "FUCK YOU BOTH! FUCK YOU BOTH!"

Stevens: I can't blame the crowd for not being happy with what's happened so far, but you can't deny this, this can't bode well for the psyche of the new Magnificent Seven as two of their high profile members now have to face off to finish this match!

Riley: I don't like this, they have to have a plan, they have to have something!

Stevens: It doesn't look that way, I haven't seen Annie this nervous since she bid goodbye to her evil-as-fuck lover Chris Wilson. Can Annie fight the stable's leader, and double champion? Can Tod come in and get the upset of the year by letting these two tear each other apart and then cleaning up? Things have just gotten damned interesting!

Annie and Tom continue to circle each other in the center of the ring, unsure what to make of the other. Annie sends a half hearted left jab out that Flesher easily side-steps. Flesher gives a slower than slow kick that Annie dodges without effort. Both fighters are unwilling to attack the other, and the crowd begins to sense the possibilities of what might happen...

Riley: ... the TENSION~!

Stevens: no.

Riley: What, there's obvious TENSION~! in that ring.

Stevens: I know what you mean by that and I still say no.

riley: I don't mean it like...

Stevens: Yes you do, and I don't think that's going on, no matter how evil and twisted these two are.

Riley: ... I wouldn't mind TENSION~! between me and Flesher...

Stevens: We've established that. Shut up.

Without warning, Annie points two fingers to her throat, and blows forth... nothing from her mouth! A wave of air hits Flesher who goes cross-eyes, steps in a circle a couple of times and then comically flops backwards to the mat. Eclectic dives forward for the pin...

Stevens: WHAT???

ONE...

TWO...

THREE!!!!

DING DING DING!!!

Funyon: Your winner, gaining her second fall over Tom Flesher at fourteen minutes and twenty five seconds.... AND NEW! S. W. F. LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.... ANNNNNIIIIIIEEEEE EEEEECLEEEECTIIIIC!

"Angry Johnny" begins to play over the PA system as Annie lifts Flesher up to his feet and hugs him in the center of the ring.

Stevens: WHAT A SCREWJOB! Flesher takes the dive for Annie to give her her first belt in the SWF, this is awful.

Riley: What do you mean screwjob? I'm surprised Flesher is still alive!

Stevens: What the fuck are you talking about?

Riley: I've heard about it in hushed circles, it's nastier than the coffee mist, worse than the green mist, more blood curdling than red mist and more pure evil than the black mist...

Stevens: Riley, what the hell are you smoking? Annie blew air in Tom's face and he dropped like he got hit with a wrecking ball!

Riley: No, it was the deadly... destructive... INVISIBLE MIST!!! Can Mag Seven survive with such a vicious attack to their leader?

Stevens: RILEY! SHUT... THE FUCK... UP!

Tom Flesher grabs the Light Heavyweight belt from Funyon and looks at it for a longing second, then with a smile hands it to his stablemate, Annie Eclectic. Annie snaps the belt around her waist, and then climbs the nearest turnbuckles to raise her hands in victory. A beer cups start flying into the ring, soon followed by a chair, as the crowd boos and chants "ANNIE SUCKS! FLESHER'S COCK! ANNIE SUCKS! FLESHER'S COCK!"

Stevens: I hope even Stubby McWeed knows enough to overturn this disgusting outcome.

Riley: Mark, Annie E won this match fair, even, square, without cheating. She should be commended!

Stevens: She should be lynched!

Annie blows kisses to the unappreciative crows.... then flies backwards as Tod deKindes leaps up from the steel steps out of nowhere to strike her over the head with her Kendo Sword! Tom snatches Annie as she falls and rolls both him and her out or the ring, running towards the entrance ramp as trash and chairs fly behind them up the ramp. Tod raises the sword high above his head, garnering an avalanche of cheers from the crowd.

Stevens: This... I can't even describe it. We have more SWF Storm coming up, and hopefully we can get word as to if this match will even stand in the record books.

Riley: biiiiiiitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.

Stevens: *sigh* Stay tuned for more SWF Storm!

October 5, 2002

***Back in the Saddledome, the announcers get a message in their headsets…***

Riley: Something's going on back there!

Stevens: We got Ben Hardy backstage with Tod deKindes!

***Cut to the back. The hallways aren't a pretty sight, as a fuming Tod deKindes is throwing the standard Klangy Metal Poles all over the area and upending a few tables and anvil cases. Nonetheless, Ben Hardy appears in the camera shot and tries to get a reaction out of the U.S. champion… ***

Ben: All right, um…I'm here with Tod deKindes, who's just been through quite an unpleasant situation. Tod, I know you must be a little upset right, -- *oof!*

***Tod quickly grabs the interviewer by the throat and shoves him against a wall. This obviously is NOT the right time…***

Tod: (through heavy breath and clenched teeth) What just took place tonight … is BULLSHIT!!! … I was out there to win the Light Heavyweight title tonight … But in a match against both Tom Flesher and Annie Eclectic, I had my doubts … And as you can SEE!! … My doubts came to fruition. I came here tonight not only to win another title, but also to teach Annie a lesson and beat some more SENSE into her!! … But she had to go and screw me again … So, you do me a favor, Ben Hardy … You go back there to her dressing room and tell that little BITCH … that I *will* get her. We *will* meet again and this time she will NOT be able to beat me because she will NEVER be able to beat me … Can you do that?

Ben: S…s-ure thing.

***With that, Tod releases the interviewer from his grip, grabs his errant title belt and storms off, no doubting wanting to hit more things.***

Ben: Back-back to ringside…

October 5, 2002

"Grand Slam" and Bobby Riley get a message from their headsets...

Stevens: Wait a second folks, we got word that now we have word from the new light Heavyweight champion, who's win is apparently going to stand according to the offices of the Commissioner. Ugh, Hardy, let's hear what the bitch has to say.

Cut to backstage where an ecstatic and oddly blue clad Annie E stands with the Light Heavyweight belt over her shoulder.

Hardy: Annie, congratulations on your win, even though it's under extremely dubious means...

Eclectic: Dubious? Do you cast a shadow upon my glorious title win?

Hardy: Well, this match will be remembered for the screwjob you and Tom Flesher...

Annie interrupts Ben Hardy's train of thought.

Eclectic: Screwjob? Please, I keep hearing about controversy with my matches of late. "Annie couldn't beat Tod at Genesis", "Annie needed help to beat Tod for the Light Heavyweight belt". Screw you, screw them, and screw Tod deKindes! That's right, screw Tod deKindes. This little nazi bitch wants me? Fine, come on after me.

Hardy: Tod has exclaimed that you will never be able to beat him one on one...

Annie interrupts again.

Eclectic: Never beat him? Oh ho my friend, no, I can beat him any time in the ring fair and square. I could beat him twice in a row if I wanted to. Actually, I could beat him three straight, one-two-three right in the center of the ring if I wanted to. And you know what Hardy?

Hardy: ...no, what?

Eclectic: I want to. Tod, you seem to want my ass so bad, why don't you put that shiny US Title on the line? I know I can beat you, I have nothing to prove, and you won't get ANY more shots at this belt as long as -I- have it. BUT, if you want me, prove that you can beat me. BEST. OF. FIVE. For the US Title

Back at ringside we hear the announcers reactions...

Stevens: BEST OF FIVE? An actual series for the US Title... has that been done before?

Riley: I don't think so, but it will be fun to watch!

Eclectic: That's right deKindes, Best of Five. I will prove to you, to Hardy, to the announcers.... to the WORLD, that I need jack-all help when it comes to beating your German ass to the ground. Polish that US title up real nice for me too, because Momma's coming home in a month, and she's going to be a double champion when she gets there... by DECREE! Of the Hardcore Queen!

Annie Eclectic yells out a victory cheer and walks away from Ben Hardy.

Hardy: You heard it here! Best of Five for the US Title! Will Tod accept? We'll find out!

October 5, 2002

With a jam packed crowd having enjoyed about an hour and 40 minutes of action or so, the stage is set for the main event. Mark Stevens’s voice helps segue smoothly into the introduction to the match.

“Sadly, after the end of Genesis, we had four people retire from the SWF... whether by choice or not.” He pauses, thinking of Edwin MacPhisto and Chris Raynor in particular. “In their absence, it’s time for a new generation of superstars to stand up and stake their claim. Last Sunday, Sacred got what many would consider to be a long-awaited title shot against current champ, El Luchadore Magnifico. Tonight, they will be on opposite ends of the ring, not one on one, but in a tag match. Sacred with fellow CC member Perfect Bo who lost the Intercontinental Television title to the new leader of the Magnificent Seven, Tom Flesher, and ELM with Thoth, who had a short but brutal battle with Silent that will see the Slaughterer on the shelf for a long time to come.”

“And you know what I say, Stevens? I say, down with the kliq! Let the glass ceiling shatter by the noggins of the new, talented wrestlers!”

“Kilq? What’s the kliq?”

“Oh, you know. The HVille Thugg, Edwin MacPhisto, the-”

“Okay, I’m so confused right now, but I’ll cut you off, for fear that this is a plot to get me in bed somehow. And that’s even more confusing, so why don’t we just turn it over to Funyon?”

The black-tied, suede-shop, impresario of the ring takes the microphone and does what he does best. Announce the match.

“The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!” A fuzzy picture, marred by white static, starts to roll on the Smarktron. Images of war, hate and destruction. “Save Yourself” by Stabbing Westward starts to play, as Sacred walks out, flanked by the ever-menacing Perfect Bo.

“Perfect Bo is even more dangerous, now that he’s lost the ICTV belt, because he can fight with more disregard to himself and his health. Not to mention that he’s angry. Really angry,” says Stevens. “Not only that,” adds Riley, “But Sacred is the number one contender int he federation right now! He’s on top of the world!”

“Introducing first, representing Creative Control, at a total combined weight of 516 pounds... PERRRFECT BO.... and SAAAACRED!”

With massive chips on their shoulders, both men roll into the ring and quickly get to their feet. Bo cracks his knuckles, Sacred leans against the ropes, testing their tightness and give.

“UNO! DOS! TRES! CUATRO!” It’s “Mission Trip to Mexico,” announcing the arrival of one of the great phenoms of the business, one of the few men to get a win over Stubby McWeed while he was still an active wrestler. And his tag team partner too, in this case. Orange pyro is shooting off as the duo walks out into public view.

“Their opponents, at a total combined weight of 429 pounds... THOOOOTH! ...and the S-W-F Champion... EL LUCHADORRRRR MAGNIIIFICO!”

Magnifico and Thoth stand outside on the apron, discussing pre-match strategy briefly. Thoth remains on the outside as the diminuitive, yet threatening world champion takes his place in his corner. Perfect Bo will start out for his team, obviously with the intentions of wearing down the world champ so Sacred can get in his licks.

*DING DING DING*

Bo and ELM lunge toward each other, Bo closing the distance faster as ELM plays keep-away from the much more powerful Hardcore God. Every time Bo swings his arms to try and grab the luchador, he sways, ducks, bobs and weaves out of the way, quickly frustrating Bo, who starts charging more frequently. He lunges, throwing all his momentum in a direction that ELM quickly steps out of. He throws a dropkick to Bo’s back, knocking him into the corner, and as he turns around to get his bearings, ELM starts laying in loud, hollow-sounding chops to Bo’s chest, the hard flesh on medium-soft flesh smackiing echoes around the arena. The crowd, of course, “WHOO!”’s along with each smack, until Bo grits his teeth and fires back, a straight right to the jaw that has Mag reeling. Bo charges in, but ELM has the presence of mind to dive out of the way and tag Thoth, the Balancer coming in now to even the odds. Bo swings a short range clothesline and misses, and becomes the recipient of a double Irish Whip, and then, moments later, a double back elbow. ELM leaves the ring to let Thoth have his shots at Bo, someone who Thoth has had his share of good fights with. He pulls Bo up to his feet and attacks with his Eastern-inspired strikes, focusing less on damage due to blunt trauma and more on sharp, quick attacks isolating a single body part or even a single nerve. In Thoth’s case, he is attacking one of his favorite spots, the nerves below the chin. Bo reels, clenching at his chin as Thoth continues the attack on the bigger man, while keeping enough distance so that if Bo tries to counter by squeezing the life out of him, he’ll have enough space to beg off and try again. However, as he increases the punishment blow by blow int he corner... he gets careless, long enough for Bo to throw a big size boot right in the kisses, flooring the Balancer. Thoth gets up quickly, but in vain as Bo gets enough time to scoot over to his corner and tag in the ornery Aussie, Sacred. Who runs in quickly and slams Thoth across the nose hard with his forearm, damn near cracking the bone. He literally shoves the bewildered Balancer into the corner and starts throwing forearm after forearm, the crowd counting along even if they are not the biggest Sacred marks. Or even if they were at all in the first place. “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! ... ...” the crowd stops counting as Sacred keeps going, mercifully stopping at a staggereing TWENTY SEVEN. He steps back as Thoth, his head not on completely straight, falls straight over like a tree. Sacred rolls him over for the pin...

ONE!

TWO!

THREE- Thoth just barely with the shoulder up. “Jesus... Hard to believe Thoth actually managed to get up after that... that was a SICK display of aggression!”

“Would that be... ruthless aggression?” asks Riley, sociopathically.

“Sadly, yes. Yes it would.”

Sacred gets up, looking down in rage and stomping on the form of the Balancer, whose form shudders with every impact of Sacred’s boot. ELM is nearly jumping up and down on the ropes in his corner, frustrated he can do nothing to stop the onslaught at this point in time. Another cover...

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- Thoth kicks out. Sacred pulls him up and whips him to the ropes. Thoth, off the rebound, trying to throw a clothesline which Sacred ducks and charges towards the ropes. As they both run towards each other in a collision course, Sacred throws a flying forearm that takes Thoth down to the mat again. He rolls through, a consequence of his momentum, and ends up in a neutral corner, waiting for Thoth to get up. The Balancer seems to have a tough time finding out where his head is, and distinguishing his right arm from his left. The very moment he stands fully upright, Sacred charge, wrapping Thoth’s arm around his own neck and driving his to the mat in a whip motion.

“Knifey Spoony from Sacred! That cute name does nothing to mask the painful nature of that maneuver... and now that Sacred is a cold-hearted bastard, much removed from the Sacred we knew when he entered the Smarks Wrestling Federation, then the IGN Wrestling Federation... he really should change the names of those moves.”

“Oh really?” retorts Riley. “That’s not a knife... this is a knife!”

“Bobby... those are your pants.”

“Argh... I see you’ve played Knifey Pantsey before.”

ELM starts clapping, trying to give Thoth some kind of momentum, something to build and gain power off of, power of the spirit... but Sacred is having none of it as he whips Thoth to the corner and boots him in the gut, scooping him up, and putting him in the Tree of Woe! He backs up all theway across the ring, checking his pacing, then dashes forward...

Sliding into Thoth’s head like home plate...

And the Balancer pulls up, using his abs to get himself into a sitting position! As Sacred disentangles himself from the corner, Thoth gets to his feet, and flies through the air suddenly... “Wow! He’s looking for the Scum Gale!” calls Stevens. “Can he hit it this early in the match?”

Thoth does a hand stand on Sacred’s head, looking to pull him into the vacuum of the Gale... but Sacred steps back at the right moment, forcing Thoth to land on his feet. Sacred lunges in, but Thoth has his bearings, and he kicks him in the gut! He backs up... springing suddenly over Sacred’s head, handstanding on him again, and as he falls around the Aussie’s back, he lands on his knees, and then pulls Sacred onto them! The crowd pops big for this new maneuver that Thoth has just pulled out of his bag of tricks.

“I’m not too familiar with Puro, but I believe that move is called a “Kotore-Mawari,”” says Stevens, proving again that he could kick JR’s ass, if need be. He definitely could kick Cole’s.

Thoth falls away, tired and needing a tag, while the back of Sacred’s head pulsates and throbs from the Mawari. Both men are on the wrong sides of the ring, as the crawl past each other to their corners. The referee is enforcing the double knockout ten count, but the crowd knows it’s irrelevant as both men crawl on their elbows... and Sacred is inches away from making the tag! An energized Perfect Bo holds out his arm as far as he can...

But Thoth makes the tag! The fans cheer wildly as the writing style of the match changes, and Magnifico quickly climbs into the ring and charges right at Sacred, lashing out with his arm and slamming it into the Aussie’s neck with a Clothesline! Sacred hears the crowd explode and pops back to his feet, the pain in his head forgotten momentarily, but Magnifico grabs him by the arm the second he stands, and then uses his grip to attempt a whip! However, Sacred reverses it, sending ELM rushing towards the far ropes. Magnifico bounces off and runs back towards Sacred, and as he approaches, the Aussie grabs him around the waist and lifts him upwards, twirling ELM in mid-air as he does so! Sacred then drives Magnifico downwards while sticking out his knee, slamming the luchadore right into it with a Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker! The fans release a disappointed OHHH! as Magnifico falls off of Sacred’s knee and to the mat, his back arched in pain. Sacred immediately drops to his knees and covers the luchadore, hooking the leg as the ref slides into position...

ONE...

TWO...No! Magnifico gets a shoulder up at two and a half, drawing a few cheers from the crowd.

Stevens: It looked like Magnifico was ready to take control of this match, but Sacred quickly cut off those aspirations with a backbreaking Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker! He recovered just so quickly from Thoth’s new maneuver... talk about tenacity!

Sacred pushes himself off of the luchadore, grabs him by the hair, and then stands up, painfully dragging Magnifico to his feet with him. The Aussie then heads over to his corner, dragging ELM behind him, and slaps Perfect Bo’s outstretched hand, bringing him into the match amidst a wave of boos. Sacred turns towards the luchadore and gives him a quick kick to the gut, doubling him over slightly as Bo climbs into the ring. Bo immediately approaches Magnifico and pounds him in the face with a stiff punch, turning the luchadore away from him and sending him stumbling towards the ropes. ELM foolishly turns back towards Bo, only to receive another blow to the face, which sends Magnifico into the ropes, back first. As ELM leans up against the multicolored cables, Bo suddenly reaches out and wraps his huge hand around the luchadore’s neck, pushing him into the ropes as he violently chokes the helpless Mexican. The fans boo the Perfect One mercilessly as he ignores the shouting ref, only choking Magnifico harder as he desperately tries to break Bo’s hold. Finally, Bo, releases his grip, turning to the ref and threatening him with bodily harm as Magnifico collapses against the ropes, choking for breath.

Riley: Now that’s the way you wear down an opponent!

Stevens: With blatantly illegal and underhanded choking?

Riley: Yes! I mean, shut up!

Bo shouts one final curse at the ref, turns back to Magnifico, and grabs him by the arm, using his grip to whip Magnifico across the ring. ELM rushes towards the far ropes, bounces off, and runs back towards Bo, and as he approaches, the Perfect One charges towards him and throws his foot into the air, looking to behead Magnifico with a Big Boot! However, the luchadore manages to duck beneath Bo’s foot, then stops himself and turns to face his opponent as Bo spins around to face Magnifico. As soon as Bo turns around, Magnifico sidesteps towards him and throws his foot into the air, looking to connect with a Superkick! ELM’s foot goes directly into Bo’s chest...but the big man manages to catch it, leaving Magnifico hopping on one foot as the fans GASP! in unison! Bo immediately throws ELM’s leg to one side, spinning the luchadore around 360 degrees! Once Magnifico finishes his spin and is face-to-face with Bo, the Perfect One reaches out with his hand and wraps it around ELM’s neck, setting him up for a Chokeslam! A cocky grin comes over Bo’s face as he stares a hole into Magnifico, whose eyes are wide with fear. Suddenly, ELM throws his foot out and drives it into Bo’s gut, taking the Perfect One by surprise and weakening his grip! Magnifico lands another kick, and another, and another, until Bo’s grip is weakened enough for him to escape! ELM immediately turns around and runs towards the ropes behind him as a doubled over Bo shakes off the kicks. Magnifico bounces off of the ropes and rushes back towards Bo, and as he approaches, the luchadore leaps into the air and extends his arms and legs, soaring towards the Perfect One with a Flying Cross-Body! But before ELM can make impact, Bo suddenly stands up straight and shoots his arms out, grabbing Magnifico by the leg and shoulder and capturing him in mid-air! Immediately after catching the luchadore, Bo falls onto one knee and drives Magnifico downwards, slamming him into the knee with a Rib Breaker! Still holding the luchadore, Bo quickly stands back up, and then falls backwards, throwing ELM over his head and driving him into the mat with a Fallaway Slam! The fans engage in another hearty round of boos as Bo crawls over to Magnifico and covers him, hooking the leg as the ref slides into position...

ONE...

TWO...No! Magnifico gets a shoulder up, silencing a good portion of the boos. Looking a bit miffed, Bo quickly pushes himself back to his feet and begins stomping away at ELM as the luchadore turns himself onto his stomach, pathetically trying to shield himself from Bo’s stomps. After hitting about ten of them, Bo heads over to his corner and tags in Sacred, quickly re-energizing the booing portion of the crowd.

Stevens: Ouch! Bo nails Magnifico with his Rib Breaker and Fallaway Slam combo, but it’s not enough to put the luchadore away! And now it looks like it’s Sacred’s turn, as he and Bo continue to wear Magnifico down!

Riley: And look what ELM has to go through because Bo’s combo didn’t get the three count! If that dirty Mexican had any brains, he’d lay down for the three count the first chance he got!

Sacred quickly heads over to Magnifico, grabs him by the hair, and slowly pulls the luchadore to his feet as he writhes under the Aussie’s grasp. Dragging ELM behind him, Sacred heads over to the nearest empty corner, before driving Magnifico’s head forward, slamming it directly into the top turnbuckle! Magnifico turns around and collapses against the corner after impact, leaning up against the turnbuckles as Sacred lays into his gut with a series of stiff kicks. After landing five good kicks, Sacred grabs Magnifico by the arm and whips him across the ring, sending the luchadore rushing towards the far corner. ELM turns around right before impact, absorbing the full brunt of the turnbuckles on his back, before stumbling out of the corner, a dazed look on his face. Suddenly, Sacred comes charging out of his corner, sprinting across the ring towards Magnifico with his head bowed, looking to nail the luchadore with a Kamikaze! But right before Sacred can make impact, ELM suddenly steps to one side, leaving the Aussie to crash into the steel corner post shoulder-first! Gripping his shoulder, Sacred gingerly steps backwards out of the corner...and right into Magnifico, who grabs the inside of the Aussie’s leg and pulls him down to the mat, rolling him up with a School Boy! The surprised fans pop as Sacred struggles wildly to escape, desperately trying to kick his legs out as the ref slides into position and begins counting...

ONE...

TWO...

TH-Noo! Sacred kicks out with force right before three, sending Magnifico to the mat as the Aussie pops to his feet. ELM quickly stands as well, getting up just in time to see Sacred soaring towards him with a Flying Forearm! Sacred drives his arm directly into Magnifico’s neck, snapping him back down to the mat as the fans OHHH! and boo in unison. The Aussie quickly pops back to his feet and immediately begins stomping away at the luchadore, laying them in all over his body as Magnifico tries to shield himself with his arms.

Riley: You see, all of Magnifco’s struggling is pointless! Even when he does manage to reverse a move, his offense is cut off the very next second!

Stevens: Even though I wouldn’t call it pointless, per se, it does seem that Magnifico is having a hard time getting any offense in. If he doesn’t get to his corner, and quick, Sacred may finish him off before he knows it.

Once he’s finished with his stomping, Sacred turns towards the corner he just crashed into and begins climbing it, slowly ascending to the top turnbuckle as the booing grows louder and louder. Once the Aussie reaches the top, he stands up on the turnbuckle and slowly turns away from the audience, careful to keep his balance as he does so. Sacred takes a second to line himself up with Magnifico, crouches on the turnbuckle...and then leaps off, extending his legs in mid-air and crashing towards the luchadore with a Top Rope Leg Drop! Thousands of flashbulbs go off, lighting up the inside of the arena as Magnifico rolls out of the way, leaving Sacred to hit the mat ass-first! The fans release a relieved pop as Sacred’s mouth gapes open in pain, before he falls to the mat, only a few feet from Magnifico.

Stevens: No! Magnifico managed to get out of the way just in time, and this just might be the opportunity he needs to get Thoth into the match!

The ref begins to count both men down as the fans grow louder in support of the luchadore, chanting “Mag! Mag! Mag!” as ELM lays motionless in the ring.

ONE...

TWO... Both men begin to stir...

THREE...

FOUR... Magnifico pulls himself onto his hands and knees and begins crawling towards his corner, while Sacred begins pushing himself to his feet behind him.

FIVE...

SIX...ELM approaches his corner and Thoth’s outstretched hand as Sacred reaches his feet behind him...

SEVEN...Magnifico makes a dive for his corner...but his leg is grabbed in mid-air by Sacred, who jerks him back to the mat and away from his corner! Thoth leans on the turnbuckle and angrily curses at Sacred, apparently sharing the sentiment of the wildly booing fans as Sacred drags Magnifico across the ring towards his own corner. The Aussie then releases Magnifico’s legs and tags in Bo, who climbs into the ring as ELM lays face-down and motionless on the mat.

Riley: Whoo, what great timing from Sacred! He stopped Magnifico just before he was about to make the tag, and now it looks like there’s no hope for the luckless luchadore!

Bo approaches Magnifico and grabs him by the arm, using his grip to violently jerk the luchadore to his feet. The Perfect One holds Magnifico in front of him for a second, reveling in the power he has over the luchadore...before throwing his foot forward and driving it into the luchadore’s gut, doubling him over with a stiff kick! With ELM bent over, Bo is able to apply a Standing Head-Scissors, an action that draws another wave of heat from the unhappy crowd.

Stevens: It looks like Bo is setting Magnifco up for the Ether! With all the damage he’s sustained in this match, it’d be nearly impossible for ELM to kick out after this!

A sick grin coming over his face, Bo reaches down and grabs Magnifico around the waist, before lifting him up and onto his shoulders! But before Bo can go any further, ELM begins bashing away at his face, desperately landing punch after punch to try and stop Bo from landing the Ether. Magnifico hits about ten good punches, stunning Bo adequately enough for ELM to hook his legs around the Perfect One’s head, before falling backwards and pulling back on his legs, jerking Bo down to the mat with a Hurricanarana! The fans cheer in relief as Bo and Magnifico immediately pop back to their feet and spin around to face each other. Bo charges towards ELM and lashes his arm out for a Clothesline, but Magnifico manages to duck under it, stopping himself and turning around as Bo does the same. Once ELM and Bo are facing each other again, the luchadore drives his foot into Bo’s foot with a stiff kick. With Bo temporarily distracted, Magnifico is able to grab him by the arm, spin around while putting it into a Chicken Wing, and then grab Bo around the head, setting him up for Montezuma’s Revenge! ELM immediately falls to his knees, slamming the Perfect One’s chin into his shoulder with the Chicken Wing Jawbreaker! Bo springs backwards off of the impact but doesn’t fall down, instead stumbling backwards into the ropes and bouncing off as Magnifico pops back to his feet. Bo stumbles back towards ELM, and as he approaches, the luchadore grabs him by the leg and around the neck, before pulling him downward and rolling him up with an Inside Cradle! The fans cheer like crazy as Magnifico struggles to hold Bo down, using all of his effort to do so as the ref slides into position...

ONE...

TWO...

THR-Noo! Sacred charges out of the corner and stomps on Magnifico’s head right before the three count, breaking the luchadore’s pin!

Stevens: Whoa! Magnifico took Bo completely by surprise with his Montezuma’s Revenge, but Sacred was there at the last second to bail him out!

Riley: Bah, Bo didn’t need any bailing out! He was just about to kick out and destroy Magnifico, I swear!

Sacred strays a second too long after breaking the pin, as Thoth suddenly comes charging out of his corner, lashing his arm into the Aussie’s neck with a Clothesline and knocking him to the ground! The fans cheer excitedly as Sacred rolls out of the ring and steps out to the outside while the ref pushes a shouting Thoth back to his corner. Meanwhile, Bo and Magnifico lay but a few feet from each other, motionless as Sacred climbs up onto the corner and begins shouting at Bo to make the tag, an action Thoth quickly mimics.

Stevens: Both Bo and Magnifico are down and nearly out, and it looks like this match is going to come down to who tags who!

The ref begins counting Bo and Magnifico out as both men slowly stir. They takes a few seconds to get their bearings straight, before pushing themselves onto their hands and knees and beginning the crawl towards their respective corners. The fans slowly grow louder and louder in support of the luchadore as he approaches Thoth’s outstretched hand, while Bo does the same with Sacred on the other side of the ring. Finally, Bo lunges out and tags Sacred...and Magnifico tags Thoth a split-second later, drawing an excited pop from the crowd for the hot tag! Sacred and Thoth quickly climb into the ring and immediately charge at each other, and as they approach each other, Sacred leaps into the air and lifts his leg, looking to connect with a Harlem Side Kick! However, Thoth manages to duck beneath the Aussie’s outstretched leg, then stops and spins around to face Sacred. Sacred turns to face the Balancer, and as he does so, Thoth unloads with a right hand, starting a stiff set of punches that backs Sacred across the ring! Thoth lands about five punches before grabbing Sacred by the arm and attempting a whip, only to have it reversed and be sent towards the far ropes. Thoth bounces off the ropes and rushes back towards Sacred, and as he approaches, the Aussie ducks beneath Thoth’s arm and throws his own across the Balancer’s chest, setting him up for a Book-End! But before Sacred can do anything, Thoth immediately begins throwing elbows to the side of the Aussie’s head, stunning him with the stiff blows! After landing about three elbows, Thoth grabs the arm across his chest and Sacred’s opposite elbow, wraps his foot around Sacred’s, and then falls backwards, driving the Aussie’s face into the mat with a Downward Spiral! The crowd goes nuts as Thoth rolls onto Sacred and makes the pin, hooking the leg as the ref slides into position...

ONE...

TWO...

TH-Nooo! Bo comes charging out of the corner, stomping on Thoth’s head at the last moment! The fans quickly begin booing passionately as Bo argues with the shouting ref, who understandably objects to his presence. Suddenly, the fans’ reaction switches to cheering as they see Magnifico, perched on the top turnbuckle, waiting for Bo to turn towards him! Bo unwittingly does so, and as soon as ELM sees that, he leaps off of the top turnbuckle, flying directly at the Perfect One! As Magnifico approaches, he kicks out his legs, slamming them into Bo’s chest with a Missile Dropkick! Bo falls to the mat and quickly rolls out of the ring, only to be followed out by Magnifico a second later!

Riley: Dammit! That cheating Mexican is really getting on my nerves!

Stevens: He didn’t do anything worse than what Bo did!

Riley: Maybe not, but he was...um...flying! Yeah! The rules say you can’t fly and cheat, that’s just wrong!

As Sacred and Thoth begin pushing themselves to their feet inside the ring, Bo is walking along the outside of the ring, followed by Magnifico. The luchadore suddenly lunges at the Perfect One from behind, hitting him in the back with his interlocked fists and sending Bo stumbling forward. ELM stays still for a moment, allowing some space to be put between him and Bo, until the Perfect One turns to face him, at which point Magnifico breaks into a charge, aiming himself directly at his opponent! But before the luchadore can do anything, Bo suddenly throws his foot into the air, slamming it into ELM’s face with a Big Boot! The fans OHHH! in unison as Magnifico falls to the floor, his hands covering his face. Bo rests for a moment, then grabs ELM by the hair and begins pulling him to his feet. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Sacred and Thoth are getting back to their feet, with Sacred moving a bit faster than Thoth. The Aussie gets up a second before Thoth, allowing him to deliver a stiff kick to the Balancer’s gut as he stands, doubling him over. Sacred then applies a Front Face Lock, drawing a wave of boos from the fans as he sets Thoth up for the Cruel Fate!

Stevens: Cruel Fate! Cruel Fate! If Thoth doesn’t escape quick-like, Sacred is going to put him away with his finisher!

Sacred holds Thoth in that position for a moment, reveling in the moment...when Thoth suddenly drives his knee forward, slamming it into Sacred’s gut! The Aussie suddenly release his grip and doubles over in pain, allowing Thoth to apply a Front Face Lock and hook Sacred’s leg, as if for a Fisherman’s Suplex! The Balancer then lifts Sacred into the air, turns him around 180 degrees, and then falls to the mat, slamming Sacred’s skull into the canvas with the Riot of the Blood! Sensing the end of the match, the fans begin to cheer wildly, only growing louder as Thoth makes the cover. Bo catches sight of the cover as the ref slides into position and begins counting...

ONE...Bo releases Magnifico...

TWO...Bo slides into the ring and stands up...

THREEE!! Magnifico grabs Bo around the ankle, pulling him back to the outside before he can break up the cover! The fans pop for a final time as Thoth rolls off of Sacred, a victorious look coming across his face.

DING DING DING

Funyon: Your winners, Thoth and El Luchadooooooorre Magnificooooooo!!

As Bo is pulled out of the ring, Magnifico slides beneath the bottom rope and joins Thoth, helping him to his feet as Bo stands on the outside. Looking quite pissed, the Perfect One considers heading in there...but decides against it, instead stewing in his anger as ELM and Thoth stand victorious in the center of the ring.

Stevens: Great teamwork from Thoth and Magnifico! Thoth managed to reverse the Cruel Fate into his own finisher, the Riot of the Blood, while Magnifico prevented Bo from breaking up the cover.

Riley: Wow, that’s just great. Really, I mean, keep gushing about it. I don’t mind. Go on.

Stevens: As I try to keep myself from strangling Riley, I’ll wish you all a good night, and thank you for watching Storm! Tune into Smarkdown, Monday night!

The last image broadcasted is El Luchadore Magnifico and Thoth, their arms upraised in victory as the fans cheer all around them...

October 5, 2002

NO-DQ, TORNADO TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH

- The flying car triumphs again.

WACKY 3-WAY LIGHT-HEAVWEIGHT TITLE MATCH

Tom Flesher vs. Annie Eclectic vs. Tod deKindes

- First Annie re-does the Dusty finish, now the fingerpoke of doom! She's a smark's nightmare!

TAG TEAM MATCH

Sacred & Perfect Bo vs. El Luchadore Magnifico & Thoth

- The good guys win! Damn...

SWF Storm (Oct 4/2002)

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