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What else did Kane do?


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Guest phoenixrising
Posted

Kane went to John Hinkley and whispered "If you shoot Reagan, Jodie Foster will love you forever."

 

Kane is responsible for the tobacco companies hiding the truth about nicotine. He's also responsible for those stupid infecttruth commercials.

 

Kane makes about 75% of Heisman winners bust.

 

Kane told Bud Selig that scheduling baseball playoff games at odd times was a sure-fire ratings grabber.

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Guest Slingshot Suplex
Posted

Kane wrote all the songs on the Hanson album

 

Kane is the major cause of menstruation in the US

 

Kane caught the Giant when he was thrown from the Cobo Hall roof.

 

Kane was piloting the helicopter during the filming of Twilight Zone-The Movie but took the only parachute.

 

Kane hangs up just when you are about to answer the phone after rushing out of the shower

Guest Vern Gagne
Posted

Kane put Pete Rose's name on all those betting slips

Posted

Kane was the deciding factor in women getting the vote.

Guest the pinjockey
Posted

When you sit on the toilet, start to do your business, and realize there is no paper. Kane

 

When you have to wait two hours for a pizza delivery because someone robbed the delivery guy. Kane

Guest Nevermortal
Posted

Blue Screen of Death? Yep, Kane.

 

Kane also makes it ever impossible for Danzig to join the Misfits again.

Guest CA$H MONEY
Posted

Kane causes cold sores

 

Kane is the fly that lands on your freshly cooked food

Guest the pinjockey
Posted

Kane is the guy in fantasy drafts who takes the guy you want the spot before you pick.

Guest Mr. Slim Citrus
Posted
Kane kills a kitten whenever you masturbate.
Guest Zero_Cool
Posted

You know that Nero? That man rapin', son killin', charriot ridin', mother slaughterin' son of a gun?! Kane is his father.

 

Canker sores? Yep.

 

Batman and Robin? You betcha.

 

Kane is the reason the US doesn't have straws in it's soda machines!

Guest The Czech Republic
Posted

Kane killed Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, and framed O.J.

 

Kane betrayed Cecil. (points to he who gets that)

Guest Kotzenjunge
Posted

(MARKS OUT FOR THE FINAL FANTASY II(IV) REFERENCE LIKE A LITTLE BITCH)

 

Kane was the brains behind Zemus(Zeromus)!!!

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

Guest The Czech Republic
Posted
(MARKS OUT FOR THE FINAL FANTASY II(IV) REFERENCE LIKE A LITTLE BITCH)

 

Kane was the brains behind Zemus(Zeromus)!!!

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

Kane was responsible for the deaths of Edge's parents. Dual reference, baby!

 

Do you think that it will turn out that Katie Vick's murder was a result a Golbez's mind control?

Guest BaldFish
Posted

Kane is the reason for the second through the fourth Highlander movies.

 

He also fiscally backs Castro's regime.

 

You know the ovens used to kill the Jews in the Holocaust? He lit the pilot light by doing the fire thing with his arms.

 

Kane was the one who suggested that I give my girlfriend a puppy for Hanukkah, and that I put it in eight boxes.

 

And the sad thing is--HHH is still more evil than he is.

Guest MideonMark
Posted

Kane spat on Kramer and Newman after the baseball game

 

Kane convinced Felicity to cut her hair, the bastard

 

Vince didnt screw Bret, Kane screwed Bret

 

Kane told De Niro to accept the part in Rocky and Bullwinkle

 

The guy talking really loudly on his phone beside you on the train or bus, thats Kane

 

Kane really did shoot JR, then convinced everyone it was all a dream, so he wouldnt be convicted

 

Chris Jericho-conspiracy victim, that was Kanes fault

 

Kane ran over Austin, he did it for the freaks

 

Kane is Kaiser Souze

Guest The Czech Republic
Posted

BaldFish, are you a minimalist, by chance?

 

Anyhoo...

Kane gave the go-ahead for the Airplane sequel.

Kane killed TAKA for not being EVIL enough.

Kane either created or destroyed Crystal Pepsi, depending on what you thought about it.

Guest BaldFish
Posted
BaldFish, are you a minimalist, by chance?

Oh, the potential punchlines.

 

"No, but I like only a touch of cinnamon in my coffee, making me a cinnaminimalist."

 

"Y."

 

"No, I just like fucking midgets."

Guest The Czech Republic
Posted

What I was getting at was did you ever post here or at the old board as BaldGhoti, (and as we all know ghoti can be fish)

Guest BaldFish
Posted
What I was getting at was did you ever post here or at the old board as BaldGhoti, (and as we all know ghoti can be fish)

Yes. I'm surprised someone remembered me. I didn't really post here all that much until a few months ago.

Guest Fook_Hing_Ho
Posted

Kane causes PMS

When the drive through guys at McDonalds fuck up your order, that's Kane

Kane invented telemarketers

Kane is the one armed man

You know how you sometimes stumble and fall over nothing? That's Kane

Kane causes people to stutter

Kane told the record companies to band together and sue Napster

The Challenger explosion? Guess who...

Remember that asshole teacher who gave you a horrible mark even though you deserved better? Kane told them to

Kane voted for Gary Condit

You know that piece of loose skin on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it? Yep, Kane.

Guest Vern Gagne
Posted

Kane had the last dance with Mary Jane not Tom Petty.

Guest hhh6294
Posted

Kane piloted the Enola Gay

 

You know all of the assassinations in history? Kane.

 

Kane destroyed the Bering Straight land Bridge 50 thousand years ago.

 

You know those daily boners you wake up to in the morning? Kane.

 

Kane told Jimi Hendrix about this new 'fad' he'd descovered... if you get my drift.

Guest Kinetic
Posted

Kane didn't know how to drive a stick shift! He also either did or didn't fuck a dead chick, although traces of his semen were found in her body during the autopsy. X-Pac, however, referred to Kane's penis as a "crispy critter" and implied that most of it had been destroyed in that fire, so the logistics of Kane having sex with anyone...well, it just doesn't add up.

Guest Youth N Asia
Posted

hhh6294...WHOA! Another Justin Credible mark, we're a rare breed here.

 

Kane's keeping this thread going

Kane handpicked the Tough Enough 2 winners

Kane hired Steven for Dell commercials

 

Someone (who's not me) should compose this entire list

Guest crandamaniac
Posted

You know those times where somebody farts, but you can't figure out who did it? Yep, Kane Again

Guest hhh6294
Posted
hhh6294...WHOA! Another Justin Credible mark, we're a rare breed here.

Sad, but true.

 

Kane holds down Justin Credible so HHH doesn't have to! :angry:

 

Kane made me think this wild shit up

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