SWF Smarkdown (Oct. 7/2002)

[Guest BA_Baracus]

The show opens with a panning shot of the crowd cheering loudly. Fans are shown holding signs like "The Magnificent Kliq," "Raynor's Neck Is Holding My Torn Quad Down," "Carnivale Internationale" and the ever-popular "The Guy Behind Me Can't See." Of course, a plethora of small signs are shown supporting workers like CIA, El Luchadore Magnifico and Tod deKindes, with a large "Sacred's In Control" sign across the rail of the top corner section. Finally, the camera settles on the duo of Bobby Riley and "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens at the announce table.

 

Stevens, wearing an Arkansas Razorbacks baseball cap, greets the viewers by saying, "Welcome to SWF Smarkdown from the Alltel Arena in Little Rock, Arkansas! The fans are fired up, and the opening match is going to be-"

 

"HERE WE ARE... BORN TO BE KINGS... WE'RE THE PRINCES OF THE U-NI-VERSE..."

 

Stevens is cut off by the opening vocals of "Princes of the Universe" by Queen as the Magnificent Seven's theme begins to blare over the arena sound system. The arena goes dark as the crowd sits rapt, awaiting the Magnificent Seven's first appearance as a stable since Chris Wilson's retirement.

 

Tom Flesher walks through the velvet curtain. He looks more serious than usual, dressed in a grey business suit, white shirt and blue tie, with his ICTV belt over his shoulder. Behind him are Frost and TNT, each wearing their half of the SWF Tag Team Championship over their tights, followed by Mercury in his grey shirt and black pants. Mak Francis struts behind Mercury in his cutoff blue Franchise t-shirt and black tights, and Annie Eclectic brings up the rear with her Light Heavyweight title strapped around her waist over her red catsuit. As the stable walks to the ring in single file, the fans begin to chant, "YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK!" in their standard method of annoying Tom Flesher. Instead of showing irritation, though, Flesher simply leads his stablemates into the ring looking confident and cocky.

 

"Look at the sheer brilliance of these seven workers!" marvels Bobby Riley. "They're all so confident... go ahead, Mark, pick one of them! They'll ALL kick your ass, one at a time!"

 

"Seven? I count six, and that's only when Mercury's not having 'personal problems' at the airport bar," quips Stevens.

 

"Oh... well... uh... that's just because you're not counting their rarely-seen corporate assistant, Fauntleroy. He handles the flight arrangements."

 

Flesher motions for a microphone, and takes his place in the center of the ring.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank you for coming out to see 'the Magnificent Seven Does Smarkdown.' Your support has not gone unnoticed, and let me assure you that we appreciate every single cent you're paying to see us kick the rest of the league's ass."

 

The fans continue their "YOU SUCK DICK!" chant as Flesher smirks and adjusts his tie. "You see, I know the SWF is promoting this show, but let's face it... no matter what Stubby P. McWeed or the great Suicide King do, the Magnificent Seven is firmly in control. I mean, look at the card. Opening up, we have a Hardcore Title match." Flesher indicates Frost, who stares icily at the camera and cracks his neck. "Frost, the Iceman from Iceland, is going to take on the vanilla midget poster child, CED Ordonez. Tell me something, CED... do you really think that you're hardcore? You better be, if you think you're going to put a giant, old-school badass like my man Frost down for the count." Frost nods slowly, showig absolutely no shift in his emotion.

 

"Look at him, Mark!" Bobby Riley says. "He's going to tear CED limb from limb and put him in a taco!"

 

"Frost doesn't really work a hardcore style," says Mark. "He's not exactly the ideal contender for the belt, and that's going to work against him.

 

"Not the ideal contender? He's like a cat toying with a mouse! He ENJOYS crushing people like CED, and frankly, I wouldn't want to be on his bad side."

 

"So," says Flesher, "one match won right out of the gates, four to go. Next up, we've got Mak Francis taking on a man who thinks he can take down the whole Magnificent Seven. Yeah, maybe Thoth is a contender, but there's just no way he's on the same level as we are. That's why we're going to teach him a lesson by sending my junior member out to take care of the light work. Tell 'em, Mak."

 

Francis takes the mic from Tom and paces about before finally coming to a stop. "The Franchise" bring the microphone to his lips and sighs before speaking.

 

"I know you're upset, and quite frankly so am I." Mark just stares with a quizzically look just like much of the WF fan base. "How could 'the Franchise,' a Magnificent Seven member and all around cool guy..." The fans start to boo reflexively. "... be reduced to near, I say again NEAR curtain jerking status? Because let's face it... me curtain jerking is ALMOST as bad as forcing the fans to not get their Flesher fix for the day."

 

"You tell 'em Mak! Nothing like Tom to wake you up right!" shouts Bobby Riley as Francis pauses while smirking. Mark sits incredulous as Francis starts up again. "Come on, I came into this league and showed just how good I am. I won on the biggest pay-per-view event of the year AND probably ended Divefire's career, dammit! I mean, did I or did I not plaster his flaming ass with a man hole cover, people? And THEN proceed to send him to the hosptial with a Franchise Tag onto the cold concret, no less!"

 

"The kid may be a pompous ass, but he did get over on Divefire... after attacking him from behind and after he was in one of the most dangerous and epic street fights we've ever seen," adds Grand Slam, deciding to finally say something.

 

"Oh, that's just a technicality, and you know it," fires back Riley.

 

"And after all that, I get booked in the second match on the card. Now that Eddie Mac has gone off to god knows where, I thought the Smarks Wrestling Federation was going to be different. No Edwin as Junior Leagues commissioner to hold people back to protect his payday translates to the M7 getting what we deserve... Respect!"

 

"Now he's just taking this way too far. Edwin's done so much for this comp-"

 

Riley interrupts him mid sentence. "Can't you just let the man speak, Grand Opening?"

 

"But of course in the end, I'm NEAR jerking the curtain against somebody who just isn't Franchise level. And to top it all off," snarls Mak, "some talentless Carnie, who I beat, panders to you people and gets the main event!" Mak stomps his foot in a mini temper tantrum. "Well that's a load of crap! I'll prove to everyone one more time just what it means to be Franchisable!! If that means going against Thoth and stopping him from 'breaking the cycle,' whatever the hell that means, and winning, then I'll do it and nothing's gonna stop me!! It's why I get the franchise bucks, the franchise perks, and the Franchise Tag..."

 

"And who the FU- "

 

A familiar screeching noise rings out over the arena microphone, triggering the opening chords to "Rollercoaster of Love" and a huge pop from the arena crowd, although Bobby Riley can clearly be heard sighing. The SmarkTron lights up with images of a familiar masked Canadian, and after a few moments, CIA emerges on stage, dancing just a bit in time with the music. While Francis and Flesher look on from the Ring, CIA smiles, and produces a microphone, cutting off the speakers with a motion of his hand. Looking quite serious, the Canadian raises the mic, and addresses the man he has so rudely interrupted.

 

“Now, now, Mak. Let’s watch our language, eh? I know these fans didn’t pay just to listen to you two bitch. These people came for the main event, which, as you so wonderfully pointed out, involves none other than me, the Canadian Dream.” The fans cheer this already apparent revelation, as CIA begins to pace up and down the ramp, looking over towards the two men in the ring. “Of course, I’m not getting in the ring with either of you tonight, so I’m not going to talk about your little magnificent….. how many was it now…. Six? Five? Well, no matter, eh. I wanted to come out here and let these people see the man they came to see, and to talk about Sacred. Sure, maybe it’s not as pressing as another pointless flashcard planning session, or whining about how great you really do think you are, deep in the recesses of your minds, eh, but it is important.”

 

“I can’t believe the gall of this filthy Canadian. Interrupting two fine, strong, men who were entertaining us for his usual crowd popping drivel. And who does he think he’s kidding, acting like he’s going to beat Sacred? He’s not even going to be able to keep the Carnival from going down faster than my friend Frank.”

 

Mark Stevens glares at Bobby Riley, and opts to ignore certain parts of his companion’s commentary in favor of touching on the points that don’t deeply disturb him. “The Carnival is coming back, Riley, and CIA wants to represent himself well against the man who will face fellow Carnie El Luchadore Magnifico for the world championship soon enough. Sacred has everything to lose tonight, while CIA can only stand to gain with a good showing tonight.”

 

CIA looks down towards the ring, studying Mak Francis for a moment, and smiles. “Now, Mak, you know all about pinning me to the mat. Hell, you’ve done it more than a few times. So who better than you to know just how hard I’m gonna make that task for Sacred tonight, eh? And who better than you to tell him I can make even the toughest opponent tap out, or take them down for the 1-2-3. Tonight, Sacred’s gonna face the dream. And I’m gonna make it his nightmare, eh! Now, I suppose I should leave you two ladies to what you were saying. Have fun, girls.”

 

Riley is struck speechless by such accusations, but, as CIA disappears to the back, Stevens happily speaks up. “CIA, making his intentions known tonight for Sacred. Although Mak Francis and Tom Flesher can’t be happy about the interruption.”

 

Riley finally finds his voice, choking out a few words. “The Canadian MUST DIE.”

 

Flesher, looking a bit preturbed, clears his throat, adjusts his tie and says, "Well, before we were so rudely interrupted, I believe Mak raised a valid point. This kid's not just money in the bank... he's a franchise, dammit, and one day he's going to be running this whole damn show. And he's stuck wrestling second? Before Ash Freaking Ketchum?"

 

"Hey! That's not fair! Ash Ketchum is one of the most dedicated athletes in the SWF!"

 

"You say that now, but what are you going to say when he mysteriously disappears in a few months?"

 

Stevens cocks his eyebrow. "Bobby, are you talking about his paternity leave, or his honeymoon?"

 

"Either or."

 

Flesher continues, "Ash Ketchum. There's very little that we as a stable have to say about Ash Ketchum. Hey, TNT? What are you gonna do tonight?"

 

"EXPLODE~!"

 

"Enough said."

 

"WATCH ME EXPLODE~!"

 

"Damn straight, Taylor. Take care of the light work, and we'll see some pyro, am I right? And what will that pyro do?"

 

"EXPLOOOOOODE~!"

 

The fans boo as Flesher chuckles, "He's so much fun to have around. Then again, so is Annie E." Flesher indicates Annie, who smiles slyly and looks down at her Light Heavyweight Championship belt. "Annie Eclectic, you've had an amazing week. Not only did you register a clean pinfall victory over the top athlete in the league - me - but you did it to win the coveted SWF Light Heavyweight Title. And what happens tonight?"

 

Annie nods, her mouth pursed into an evil smile.

 

"That's right, you've got that damn Nazi again. I don't know what more you have to do, Annie. I mean, you've already proven you can beat him."

 

"She's done nothing of the sort!" shouts Stevens angrily.

 

"Hey, who walked away the winner?"

 

Mark grumbles as Flesher continues. "So Annie, tonight is the start of the best of five series with the Kraut everyone loves to hate. I have every confidence in the world, Miss Annie, that you're going to bring that US Title home to the Magnificent Seven and give it the legitimacy it deserves. It can't get that when an ugly, psychotic... *shudder* CANADIAN is carrying it, so Annie, make America proud."

 

"And finally," says Flesher, "we have two members who aren't competing tonight. First, there's Mercury. He's a veteran. He's giving everyone the guidance they need, and he's going to bring some gold home to the Seven soon enough! Am I right?" Mercury nods. "I'm always right."

 

"And what about me? Yeah, I'm a little miffed. I just won this sucker." Flesher pats his ICTV strap gently. "I just won it a little over a week ago, and I can't WAIT for the first chance I get to defend it. Why? Because I destroyed Bo. I embarrassed him on my way to winning this belt."

 

"How can he say that?" fumes Mark Stevens. "Bo had him on the ropes all night! Flesher's lucky he made it out of that match alive, and it's a damn harmonic convergence that he managed to win the belt!"

 

"Jealous much, Marky-mark?"

 

"Bobby, I was the most decorated wrestler in SWF history. What do I have to be jealous of?"

 

"You're not NEARLY as good-looking as Flesher is."

 

"And you know what else? I didn't just embarrass Bo. I embarrassed El Luchadore Magnifico when I won the Light Heavyweight Title from him at Groud Zero, and I've consistently embarrassed everyone I faced. I'll do it again, too, damn it. After we get Thoth out of the way, who knows? Maybe I'll just embarrass Mags again and take my rightful spot at the top of the mountain. Maybe I'll take the World Title and make it official. Hell, the strap all but belongs to me anyways." The fans resume their "YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK!" chant as the rest of the stable nods and murmurs their approval. "So, in conclusion... thank you for choosing to spend your hard-earned dollars on the Magnificent Seven. We'll reward you tonight with four in a row: Frost will kick things off by beating CED to a bloody pulp and putting whatever's left in a taco. Mak Francis will follow that up by knocking some sense into Thoth with the Franchise Tag. TNT's going to... Aw, hell, TNT, what should the nice people do?"

 

"WATCH ME EXPLODE!"

 

"Beautiful," says Flesher with a smile. "And then Annie's going to take that sour Kraut to school. Oh, and I guess there's a conflict between an Australian and a lumberjack of some sort, though I'm not sure why they scheduled the pissbreak at the END of the card. Stick around, fans, and thanks again. Always remember, we here at the Magnificent Seven love you just as much as you love us. Maybe... even... more."

 

With that, "Princes of the Universe" kicks back up, and just as they came in, the Magnificent Seven strides back up the ramp and into the locker room.

 

"Strong words and big promises from Tom Flesher and the Magnificent Seven, promising four wins tonight as they practically claim ownership of the SWF!"

 

"And who's going to stop them?" scoffs Riley.

 

"Well, let's take a look at the four they claim they've already won, plus tonight's main event!"

[Guest BA_Baracus]

HARCORE TITLE MATCH

Ced Ordonez © vs. Frost

- After dominating the tag team division, Frost and TNT will be competing in singles matches on Smarkdown. Ced won the hardcore title without actually beating the champ. Will he prove he’s worthy of the belt by defeating the powerful Frost this Monday?

Match Description: Regular DQ and count-out rules are not in effect. Submissions, pinfalls and knockouts count anywhere within the arena.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Thoth vs. Mak Francis

- Thoth has never liked the Magnificent 7 but how will he fare against it’s newest member, Mak Francis, who got his first big SWF win at Genesis?

 

SINGLES MATCH

“TNT” Taylor Nicholas Thompson vs. Ash Ketchum

- Following his partner’s lead, TNT accepts a singles challenge from Ash Ketchum (whom he defeated in tag team action 2 shows in a row).

 

NO-DQ SINGLES MATCH

Annie Eclectic vs. Tod deKindes

- After a match at Genesis and a 3-way on Storm, their issue still isn’t over. Expect Annie and Tod by the barrel-full in the coming weeks, as this is the first match out of a best of 5 series…for the SWF US title!

Match Description: Regular DQ and count-out rules are not in effect. Submissions, pinfalls and knockouts only count within the ring.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Sacred vs. CIA

- Sacred’s gearing up for a SWF heavyweight title match against Magnifico, but first he’ll try and demoralize the luchadore by beating his new Midnight Carnival recruit, CIA, senseless on Smarkdown. It’s a former British colony showdown…Australia vs. Canadia!

[Guest BA_Baracus]

The camera fades up on mid-sweep of the screaming fans. People push and shove to get their faces and less than witty signs on screen. One shot blends into the next and it gradually reveals Mark Stevens and Bobby Riley at the commentator’s table.

 

Stevens points his index finger and thumb like a gun at the camera and speaks. “If you’re just tuning in…”

 

“It’s your loss.” Riley interrupts.

 

“If your just tuning in,” Stevens starts again with a sigh “you’ve missed the ICTV champ Tom Flesher taking the firm reigns of the Magnificent 7.”

 

“And that’s a horse he was born to ride,” Riley pipes up. “If you thought they were something under Wilson, just wait until Flesher gets them going.”

 

“We’ll see if Flesher can motivate Frost against Ced Ordonez, as our new Hardcore Champion makes his first title defense!” Stevens hypes.

 

“Ced is a pretender to the throne and Frost is just the man to bring his paper kingdom down around his ears. Jay Dawg might have forsake us, but the Velvet Hammer will not.” Riley shakes his fist defiantly.

 

“This is Frost’s third chance at picking up some Hardcore gold but, as you point out, JD is a far different grappler than Ordonez. Ced won the title against Mercury in a makeshift match and promptly disappeared. He was supposed to do battle in a non-title match with Mak Francis on Storm, but the bout was cancelled.” Stevens explains.

 

“Well, Ced was having elbow problems.” Riley cups his hand and tilts it up to his mouth while making ‘glug glug’ sounds. The scene fades out once again to be replaced by the image of Funyon in the ring.

 

“Ladies and Gentleman, the first match of the evening will be for the SWF Hardcore title and will take place under hardcore rules…”

 

Funyon is drowned out by the lightening opening licks of “Cities on Flame with Rock ‘n Roll” and the thunderous boos of the crowd.

 

“Introducing first,” Funyon booms out “from Reykjavik, Iceland and weighing in at 296 pounds. He is a member of the Magnificent 7 and one half of the SWF Tag Team Champions. FRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!”

 

Frost steps out from behind the backstage curtain with TNT in tow pushing an over large wheelbarrow piled sky high with objects.

 

Stevens: “This isn’t a tag match. Thompson shouldn’t be out here and what’s with that wheelbarrow full of junk?”

 

Riley: “It’s a hardcore match, you need plunder, it’s the nature of the beast.”

 

Frost chews on his trademark cigar with gusto, blowing smoke to choke the fans along the aisle as and TNT walk. They reach the ringside area and Frost grounds out his cigar on the side of the wheelbarrow while patting its side with a smile. He leaps to the apron and steps over the top ring rope as the music switches up to the synth video game tune “Esaka?”. The houselights fade to be replaced by a single spotlight illuminating a stocky figure on the entrance stage with a purple towel draped over his lowered head.

 

Riley: “It’s mirror universe Tazz!”

 

The head flings back as he removes the towel and tosses it to some lucky fan. The houselights return to full and he heads down the ramp pointing at his nemesis for the evening.

 

“And his opponent,” Funyon announces, “Hailing from Sacramento, California and weighing 203 pounds. He is the SWF Hardcore Champion…CED…OR…DO… NEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!”

 

Stevens: “Bobby, you can have a little more respect for Ced. He is the Hardcore champ until someone can prove otherwise.”

 

Riley: “You see what’s in the ring? He’s all the proof I need.”

 

 

Ced slides into the ring to a moderate sized pop. He jumps in place to warm up and points at TNT while yelling to referee Eddie Long about his presence. TNT holds up a finger to say ‘wait a minute’ and fishes in his pocket for a scrap of paper. He hands it to Funyon and retreats to lounge in the near corner.

 

Funyon trombones his arm trying to focus on the writing on the page and then announces aloud in a puzzled voice, “Please allow my son to be present at ringside for the Hardcore title match between Frost and Ced Ordonez as the official weapons provider. Thank you. Signed: TNT’s Mom.”

 

Frost rolls his eyes with little amusement while Ced shakes his head in disbelief and Long merely shrugs his shoulders.

 

Stevens: “As ridiculous as this is, it looks like Long is going to allow it.”

 

Riley: “Why shouldn’t he? Thompson does have a note from his mother.”

 

Stevens: “I have a note FOR his mother, she should have looked into birth control when she had the chance.”

 

TNT steps through the ropes and drops to the floor. He pulls an aluminum baseball bat out of his wheelbarrow and tosses it to Frost. He snatches it out of mid-air and shows the bat off while flexing his right arm. Thompson then digs deep into his treasure trove and produces a Night Ranger vinyl album. He flips it to Ced like a Frisbee who catches it and shoots the crowd a look of ‘you have to be kidding me.’

 

Riley: “Excellent choice for the first weapons. There is nothing more dangerous and scary than Night Ranger. Well, maybe Winger.”

 

DING DING DING

 

Frost pounces at the bell and makes an overhead slice with the bat. The faster Ced dodges it with ease and goes dancing away. Frost turns to face Ordonez and makes with another clubbing blow. Ced holds up the album to the block the shot and it dents. Ced parries the bat away and skips away like a fighter, staying light and alert on his feet.

 

Riley: (in singsong) “Ced Ordonez your time has come and you’re not the only one, Frost will put away. Just ride the job train and say O.K.”

 

Stevens: “This is preposterous and you’re not helping matters at all, Bobby. Like anything, CCBB unfairly stack the odds in their favor and are just joking with Ced for their own sick delight.”

 

Riley: “And mine too.”

 

Frost pivots around on his right foot, whooshing the bat through the air. Ced drops to the mat to duck it. He barrel rolls over to Frost and grabs his right leg with both hands. He jerks him off his feet as he rolls by and Frost lands flat on the mat. Ced vaults to his feet and picks up the album where he left it. Frost sits up and is whapped square on the head with the LP. His eyes cross and he falls back. Ordonez whips the album back at TNT on the outside with a sneer.

 

Stevens: “Frost fears the Night Ranger!”

 

Riley: “Oh, shut up!”

 

Ced puts the toe of his boot under the discarded bat and kicks up into his waiting hand. He turns it on end and juts it down aiming for Frost’s gut. Frost instinctively rolls out of the way and keeps on going until he hits the floor. Ced rushes over to the ropes and parries at CCBB from over the top strand.

 

Stevens: “The tag champs confer with each other on the floor. It seems that Ced is proving to be a little harder to handle than they thought.”

 

Riley: “Neither man is too familiar with Ordonez, with Frost only facing him twice before during tag matches.”

 

Thompson puts his hand in the barrow and roots around until he pulls out a six foot long steel chain. Frost shakes his head in approval and wraps a length of it around his hand as he retakes the apron. Ced backs up to measure this new predicament with the ball bat at the ready.

 

Stevens: “The last time being in both men’s WF debut. Now let’s see how well you do without the producers feeding you info in your ear.”

 

Riley: “The producers say, ‘shut the hell up.’”

 

Frost steps over the top rope, flexing his hand inside its chain link glove. Ced’s eyes dart to the left, then the right in trying to psyche Frost out. Frost whips out the chain and snags it around Ced’s left ankle. His eyes go wide as he realizes he has nowhere to go and is dumped on his back. Frost shakes the chain loose and walks over to Ordonez with spacious strides. He hops into the air and poises for a fistdrop with the chain wrapped hand. Ced rolls out of the way and up to his feet, leaving Frost to strike the empty canvas. Frost rises to one knee and stares a hole in Ordonez with fiery eyes.

 

Stevens: “Ced uses his speed to his advantage and that might be the only boon he has.”

 

Riley: “You can only run so far and so long. He is going to have to stand and fight at some point.”

 

Frost stands up and the two men square off. Frost fakes a whip at the feet again and Ced jumps in the air to dodge the phantom shot. The Icelandic Iceman follows with a true lash to Ced’s right arm, but he thrusts the bat out and the chain enfolds around it. Ordonez jerks the bat back crisply and Frost crashes down on his face to mad pops from the fans.

 

Stevens: “Ced shows a second virtue by combining his quick body with quick wits in getting Frost to snare that chain around the bat and using it as a pulley to bring him down.”

 

Ced flies across the ring and into the air. He brings the bat around vertical to the mat and drives the chain covered staff into Frost’s ribs. He grunts with pain and arches his back. TNT pounds the mat in frustration from outside.

 

Stevens: “TNT made the bed and now Frost has to lie in it.”

 

Riley: “I’m sure he has another note from his mother saying that Ced can’t use the weapons, or just let him run into the back and I’m positive he’ll come back with one.”

 

Ced drubs the bat two more times over Frost’s reddening back. He climbs to his feet and runs away, trying to fight down the burning sting in his lower spine. Frost grabs the nearby top rope and vaults over it for the floor. With one end of the chain around his fist and the other still around the bat, the bat is ripped out of Ced’s hands as the chain reaches its full length and bops him under the chin. Ced stumbles back dazed and Frost slides back in under the bottom rope. Frost makes his feet and charges with his right arm out for a clothesline, the bat dragging behind him from a piece of chain. Frost pulls up as a flash of anguish wracks his back. Ced recovers and presses forward with a Final Surge II to put the big man down.

 

Stevens: “Ordonez makes good use of that clothesline, leg sweep combo to floor his opponent and follows with a knee drop to the stomach. Frost needs some serious time to let that back recover.”

 

Riley: “He’s a hoss, hosses don’t feel pain.”

 

Ced rises to his knees and flips Frost over to his face. Ordonez drives three sharp elbows into the damaged right side of Frost’s lower back.

 

Stevens: “Tell him that, Bobby.”

 

Ced scampers over Frost’s body and works the chain off his hand and fastens it completely around the baseball bat. The fans give their approval as Ordonez stands up and holds the combined weapons up for them to behold.

 

Stevens: “Ced is showing a good grasp of the hardcore mentality as he ascends to the near second turnbuckle with that bat. If he hits Frost with this, it could be over.”

 

Riley: “IF he hits him.”

 

Ordonez lifts the bat high overhead, pointing downward. He makes to leap off and drive the head of the chain covered bat into Frost’s back, but…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stevens: “TNT JUMPS TO THE APRON AND STEALS THE BAT!”

 

Ced drops to the canvas and turns to face Thompson, now in possession of the weapon. He takes a wild swing with it that Ced ducks by grabbing the second rope and shooting through the strands to catch TNT in the ribs with a shoulder block. Taylor topples off the apron and crash-lands on the floor. The audience cheers at Thompson’s misfortune and shouts words of warning as Frost lumbers up.

 

Riley: “Look at TNT sacrificing himself to the retched Ordonez for the sanctity of his partner. If the man was Catholic I’d petition the Pope for sainthood.”

 

Ced spins around with a roundhouse kick to Frost’s right leg as he rises to drop him back to one knee. Ordonez rides the momentum of the shot all the way around and follows with a backflip kick, catching the heel of his boot on Frost’s chin. He is knocked into the ropes as Ced lands on his feet with perfect precision. He runs to the ropes for added speed and guns toward Frost.

 

Stevens: “Cross body…NO!…Frost picks him out of midair.”

 

Frost lifts Ced up one time and his face contorts from a twinge in his back. He twirls Ordonez around to cinch his waist and hammers Ced to the canvas with a standing spinebuster!

 

Stevens: “Frost attempted his ‘dead lift the opponent’ taunt for intimidation, but couldn’t complete it due to the bad back.”

 

Riley: “And that would have worked so much better than the spinebuster.”

 

Frost pulls Ced up by the ends of his spiked hair and places a hand between his legs. He lifts Ced up across his body and steadies him with a hand on his shoulder. He flips Ordonez up and around with little effort and whams him down for a ring quaking blow. He makes a lateral press.

 

ONE

 

 

 

 

TWO

 

Stevens: “Kick out, the tilt-a-whirl slam only gets two.”

 

Riley: “It’s just a cat and mouse game now. I’ll leave it up to you to decide who is who.”

 

Frost pulls Ced up with him by a hand on his tights and the other draped around his neck. He lifts him up vertical and pivots to face the near ropes. He drops Ordonez gut first across the top cord and rides the ricochet back up and over for a slingshot suplex! Frost crawls for the pin, but back pain once again slows him up. He flops a limp arm over Ced’s chest.

 

ONE

 

 

 

 

TWO

 

Stevens: “Kick out, only two again. That back is giving Frost all kinds of trouble.”

 

Riley: “I’m sure, Mark, that you would bounce straight back from having a chain wrapped ball bat driven into your spine, but Frost will fight through it because that’s what HOSSES do.”

 

Stevens: “I thought you said before that hosses didn’t feel pain.”

 

Riley: “HOSSES can do whatever they want, they’re HOSSES!”

 

Both men make their feet. Ced attempts to take the advantage with two sharp chops to Frost’s chest. The Icelander cuts off a third with a driving knee to the midsection and Ced flips clear over the knee from the violent blow.

 

Stevens: “Frost falls into the ropes…turns coming off…ELBOW DROP! HERE’S THE COVER!”

 

ONE

 

 

 

 

TWO

 

 

 

 

TH-

 

Stevens: “Kick out! Ced will not say die.”

 

Riley: “He doesn’t have to say, just do.”

 

A frustrated Frost ascends to his knees and hoists Ced up with a hand under his shoulder. Frost pulls back and pops Ordonez with an uppercut of a seasoned boxer. Ced collapses backwards and Frost stands up.

 

Riley: “Frost needs a breather and he has to do something to wear Ordonez down more.”

 

Stevens: “Strategy Frost shares with you as he pulls Ced up and slaps him on his back for that Icelandic back breaker.”

 

Frost bends over and ratchets down on Ced’s neck as his feet leave the mat. Ordonez kicks his legs out and places his right hand on Frost’s beefy back for leverage. He hurdles himself over Frost’s shoulder and out of the move. Ced slips under Frost’s chin and grabs his head before he can react.

 

***CRACK***

 

Stevens: “Nice show of agility as Ced breaks the body vice and segues into a jawbreaker.”

 

Ced launches himself into the air from a standing position and folds his legs underneath him. He strikes Frost full in the chest with a jumping double knee and goes for the pin.

 

ONE

 

 

 

 

TWO

 

Frost bench presses Ced off and attempts to scramble up.

 

Riley: “Frost has to power Ced back on the defensive fast before he hones in on that back again.”

 

Frost takes Ced by the wrist and pulls him close for a short arm clothesline. Ced shoots under the outstretched arm and fidgets loose from Frost’s grasp. Ced brings his leg straight up and drives his foot into Frost’s bad back to send him down in pain. Frost writhes on his knees while Ordonez darts to the far ropes and sprints back toward him. He sails into the air and sits out in nailing Frost in the damaged area.

 

Stevens: “Seated dropkick by Ced and your worse fears are coming true, Bobby.”

 

Riley: “Wha?… No! It was one time, I swear. I was drunk, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and see his set of collectable state spoons.”

 

Stevens: “What are you gibbering about? I meant that Ced was working on Frost’s back like you warned him against.”

 

Riley: “Oh…oh…that, yeah, bad mojo there.”

 

Frost puts a weak hand on the near second rope and attempts to get up. Ced rushes into him and grabs the swelling area with a claw hold. Frost wails like a banshee and tries to run out of the hold.

 

Riley: “Nothing I like better than a good claw hold, too bad that’s nothing like one.”

 

Frost lurches forward, but Ced will not relinquish his iron grip, until…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

***THUMP***

 

Stevens: “What the hell is that?”

 

Riley: “TNT just knocked Ced cold with a car battery!”

 

Long admonishes Thompson out of habit and he drops back to the floor with the fateful battery in his hands. Ordonez lays on the mat cold. Frost flops to the center of the ring with a hand on his sore spine.

 

Riley: “This isn’t a hardcore match, it’s a handicap!”

 

Stevens: “You take a win anyway you can in this day and age.”

 

Frost turns himself around on his gut and pulls himself forward on his forearms toward Ced. His slow and tortured crawl lasts for seconds as the jeers wash down. TNT claps Frost on. Finally, a sinewy appendage drapes limply over the Hardcore Champion.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE-

 

Stevens: “SHOULDER UP!”

 

The fans let out a collective gasp as Ced’s left shoulder just nudges off the mat. Long pats Frost on the shoulder to break and he lies there not believing the outcome. TNT pulls at his dreadlocks and runs around in a snit. He dives back into his wheelbarrow looking for another weapon.

 

Riley: “GOD DAMN! That…cheats on steroids and hopped up on goofballs and I don’t know what all. How do you survive getting bludgeoned with a CAR BATTERY!”

 

Stevens: “Frost was awful slow on the cover, Ced had time to recover and just a lot of…”

 

Riley: “Heart! I know that’s your answer for everything. You know meanness and spite gets you pretty far too.”

 

TNT digs deep into the barrow and jerks out a folding chair from the bottom, sending various debris flying. He hurls it into the ring and it bounces once to lie in the upper right corner. He puts his hand back in the wheelbarrow and takes out a yellow box.

 

“And here’s a weapon for Ced,” TNT spits out as he tosses a box of Frost Brand Taco Fixins’ into the ring as well.

 

Riley: “Now that’s smart product placement.”

 

Frost climbs up the ring ropes like the rungs of a ladder. Ced lies still on the mat with little signs of life. Frost heavily leans on the ropes in bending over to heft Ced up. He drags Ced’s limp form out to the center of the ring and places him in a standing head scissors.

 

Riley: “I don’t think it gets too cold in Sacramento, but Ced is going to face the consequences of an Early Winter.”

 

Frost locks his arms under Ced’s elbow and moves to hoist him against his chest. However, the big man is felled by another pain in his back and he resorts to simply slamming Ordonez down on a face driver.

 

Stevens: “The back is seriously damaging Frost’s base of power moves. Although it looks like Ced landed right on that taco box.”

 

Riley: “It’s obvious that Ced has given up. He’s already starting dinner.”

 

Ced can be seen tearing apart the box under his body while Frost slumps against the ropes to rest. He closes his eyes and grits the ache away. Frost trips back to Ced and picks him up with by the sides of his head. A recovering Ced looks at the big man and throws a fistful of red powder in his eyes. The crowd pops as Frost stumbles around blinded.

 

Stevens: “Unbelievable! Ced is beating CCBB at their own game by using the taco seasonings from the box to blind Frost!”

 

Riley: “That can’t be good for sales at all.”

 

TNT is beside himself on the floor as Ced stalks the blinded beast from behind. Ordonez drops to the mat while grabbing Frost’s ankle and tripping him with his own leg from the front. Frost plummets to the mat near the upper right corner.

 

***CLANG***

 

Stevens: “Ced just gave Frost a drop toe hold to the steel chair.”

 

Riley: “This isn’t supposed to be happening! TNT’s mom will be pissed!”

 

Ced tugs Frost back up by his arms and scores a double under hook. He takes a short hop in the air and drives Frost down on the chair with a double arm DDT!

 

***BANG***

 

Stevens: “Frost is in serious trouble now.”

 

Riley: “You’re not kidding, his face is taking a beating. What about his endorsement deals?”

 

Stevens: “You don’t seem too worried.”

 

Ordonez flips Frost over with red powder staining his visage. Ced lateral presses.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE-

 

Stevens: “TNT JUST YANKED CED TO THE FLOOR!”

 

Ordonez lands feet first and spins around to face Thompson. Taylor goes for a punch, but Ced blocks and fires back with chops to pop the crowd. TNT flails back with arms flying on each razor sharp blow.

 

Riley: “And that’s why I wasn’t worried. As we all learned in school, cooperation always works best.”

 

Frost slides woozily to the floor, wiping the taco seasoning from his eyes, his white hair stained a dingy red. He twists Ced around with a hand on his shoulder and clamps his neck for a choke slam. Ced grabs Frost’s wrist with both hands and uses it as leverage to spring up in the air for an enzuiguiri! The big man falls to one knee. Ced takes Frost by the back of his head and runs him under the ropes back into the ring. Frost lies on his back as Ced vaults up to the bottom ring rope and grabs the top cord. He pulls the strands down for force and springboards up and over into the ring with an elbow to Frost’s lower back. Frost flips over, arching his back moaning. Ordonez snatches the steel chair and spring into the air over Frost while holding the chair just under his outstretched leg.

 

Stevens: “Leg drop to the chair! Ced is looking for the coup de gras! He’s putting the chair over Frost’s torso and is heading for the ropes. This is how he won the Hardcore title over Mercury!”

 

Ced smoothly bounds up to the second ring rope while taking hold of the top cord. He jumps up and down in place a few times to build spring and excite the fans. Ced can taste another victory as he flies off head over heels, legs locked straight and strong for the double stomp…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Riley: “FROST MOVED! HE WAS PLAYING OPOSSUM!”

 

Ced lands on his feet on the missed Mark Out. He weaves around like a drunk on rubbery legs. Frost stands up while holding the chair. He hammers it into the back of Ced’s knees and he drops. Frost windmills the chair around by one hand and beans Ordonez in the skull. Ced flops to his face and Frost stumbles around to slouch in the ropes. He drops the chair and feels it replaced by something new in his hand.

 

Stevens: “If the chair wasn’t enough, a recouped TNT just handed Frost the chain wrapped ball bat from earlier.”

 

Frost charges, but is cut off by a desperate tackle from Ced to the knees. They go flying into the ropes as the bat squirts out of Frost’s hand. They ricochet off and Ced grabs Frost’s head in a facelock amidst the chaos and rides the momentum back in a DDT!

 

Stevens: “This capacity crowd is on their feet. CED HAS THE BALL BAT!”

 

Frost rolls dazed to his rear and scoots into the ropes. Ced dashes across the mat and uses the bat as a pole vault to sail into Frost with a dropkick. The fans explode with more cheers as Ced begs Frost to stand up, the bat poised high. Frost struggles to his feet and lays back first across the ropes. He spews a thick wad of spit at Ced’s feet that enrages him to charge. Frost reaches behind him over the ropes with a grin sneaking across his features…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

***CLONG***

 

Riley: “TNT GAVE FROST THE WHEEL BARROW!”

 

Stevens: “CED IS OUT COLD AND BUSTED OPEN!”

 

Frost lobs the wheelbarrow facedown and pulls Ordonez to his feet, blood streaming from a gash in his skull. He cinches a head scissors while hooking Ced’s arms by the elbows. He flips Ced up against his chest and powerbombs him down so the crown of his skull recoils at a sick angle off the steel bottom of the barrow! Frost adjusts for the pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

DING DING DING

 

Funyon: “Here is your winner by pinfall and NEW Hardcore Champion, FRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!”

 

Stevens: “I have no problem with Ced falling to a wheelbarrow shot, it’s a hardcore match, but Frost could not have won this match without TNT’s help.”

 

Riley: “So what? I say Ced was an idiot for not having someone come to the ring with him. Hardcore wrestling is just not about the sickest weapon shot, it’s about outthinking your opponent in delivering the sickest weapon shot and Ordonez was low on ammo in that battle.”

 

TNT dances around ringside with the Hardcore belt high overhead. Frost slides to the floor next to him, hand on his aching back, sweat pouring down his face. He takes the title and holds it up defiantly to the audience with one hand as the screen fades to break.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

As SWF Smarkdown come back on in the homes of their large fan base, the camera does it's obligatory panning shot, which I'm sure had many signs about just how great the Suicide King is... but enough about that as Grand Slam Mark Stevens and Bobby Riley are ready in the booth.

 

"Welcome back to SWF Smarkdown!" Yells Mark Stevens as the crowd responds from coming off the commercial break. "And we are LIVE from the Alltel arena in Little Rock, Arkansas!"

 

"For those of you just tuning in-"

 

"You missed Frost curtain jerk which is just plain ludicrous. The M7 gets no respect. See Mak was right!"

 

Mark rolls his eyes and dismisses Bobby's statement with a wave of his hand." And up next we have the newest M7 member Mak Francis versus Thoth!"

 

 

** Are you ready? **

 

 

** Are You Ready?! **

 

 

 

 

 

 

** CAUSE THE FRANCHISE IS HERE!!!! **

 

The Smarktron flashes the words 'The Franchise' and that's followed by a blue and white photonegative image of Mak Francis. Then the lights come back up and 'The Franchise' comes out onto the stage with a frown on his face.

 

"And here comes Mak Francis still pouting no less, even after that temper tantrum."

 

"Well he is NEAR curtain jerking for Christ's sake. What would you do if a guy you beat was in the Main Event while you had the second match on the card?"

 

"Making his way to ringside at 225 pounds... from Philadelphia, PA... Magnificent 7 member "The Franchise" MAAAK FRAAANCISssss!" exclaims Funyon as the crowd boos.

 

"Well this is a golden opportunity to prove himself against Thoth, who is a man on a mission and is stepping up to the plate with the recent departures of Edwin, Wilson, Silent and Chris Raynor."

 

Mak slowly strolls down to ringside and enters through the middle ropes, while the Little Rock crowd gives him some decent heat, but still not Franchise level so Mak snatches Funyon's mic and picks out a few of Little Rock's finest examples of inbred hicks from the crowd in full on corporate Rock mode.

 

"Just look at yourself... you fat, gap toothed yokel. I wish you would come into the ring so I could drop you on your head and compact your neck enough to get rid of your double chins." Yells Mak pointing at the fat loser in row five. "I mean come on you sound like this... "Well ya'll are we gonna' go to Bubba's tonight for squirrel or take a shower in the new RUNNING water I just got us by giving momma sexual favors!" Jokes Francis in his best trailer trash Jamie Knoble impression. "God the only things Little Rock was good for was Bill Clinton, the only man to get more head than the Suicide King and... well damn that's about it!" And you can guess what happened next.

 

YOU’RE A PUSSY! YOU’RE A PUSSY!!

 

After getting the desired reaction Mak poses in the center of the ring with both his hands raised in the air.

 

"Well that was just totally uncalled for."

 

"Come on Mark he's just exercising his right to be Franchisable." Adds Riley. "Check the bill of rights; it's there but only for a select few."

 

Before Grand Slam can ask Riley just how many amendments are in the Bill of Rights "Little Mac's Confession" by Game Over begins to play. The crowd literally jumps to their feet and cheers as the Smarktron shows quick cuts of Thoth, avoiding his face as the treble guitar starts to play. The lights dim, but their luminance is replaced by a big light coming from the entryway. As soon as the big riffs start, the light starts blinking, and when the drums play, it goes off into a near-strobe, as the Balancer makes his way to the squared circle.

 

"Making his way to ringside and weighing in at 236 pounds... from Aechiba, Japan... THOOOOOOOOTH!"

 

As Thoth hits the ring apron to another huge pop, Mak bails like hay and waits in the outside jaw jacking with a fan in his hick voice from earlier.

 

"Listen to that OVATION… and look at the determination on the face of that man. Thoth is going to show this new generation of SWF superstars just what it takes to be great."

 

"He so intense~! Looks to me like he's constipated..." Says a snickering Riley. "Shut up." Comes the obligatory monotone reply from Stevens.

 

Thoth enters the ring and you can tell he's ready to kick some ass and take some names. Francis slides back into the ring as Thoth stands dead center in the middle eyes fixed on the shorter man.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

The Balancer doesn't budge an inch as Francis semi casually, semi scared shitless walks to the center of the ring. Suddenly Francis peels off and goes to test the ropes as Thoth finally starts to move.

 

"After all that talk he just backs off at the first move Thoth makes."

 

"It's called strategy Stevens. I know it's a new term to your hoss like mind but Mak's using strategy."

 

"Give it a rest Riley."

 

Francis and Thoth, now circling each other come together in a collar and elbow tie up. Thoth briefly holds the advantage pushing the Franchise back until Francis breaks the hold and backs away. He looks over to Eddy Long and motions that Thoth pulled his hair but Long just rolls his eyes and tells him to lock up again. Mak gives up on Long and circles with the Balancer once again. The two grapplers meet again and jockey for position, which Thoth takes control of handily, and transitions into a side headlock. Mak, holding onto Thoth's side pushes them into the ropes forcing his opponent to break the hold and rebound to the other end of the ring. Francis drops on his stomach making Thoth jump over him and then upon his return rises up and goes for a hip toss - but it 's blocked by the Balancer and he scores with a hip toss of his own. Mak scrambles to his feet and rushes at Thoth - only to get thrown on his back with a DEEP arm drag. Thoth pushes himself up off his belly and brushes of an imaginary piece speck of dust as Francis gets up with fire in his eyes and blindly charges into a drop toehold from the vet. Francis's face smacks the mat and Thoth maneuvers into a front chancery, even paint brushing the back of Mak's head like he's done to so many of his opponents.

 

"What the hell is going on?!" asks Riley in a fit of disbelief. "Well, Thoth's taking Francis to school in the one area he might have held an advantage, mat wrestling." Chimes in Grand Slam as Mak searches high and low for a way out of the chancery. "Look at Mak, he's all flustered and stuff... so much so that he gave up on his strategy!"

 

"Anger makes you do stupid things..."

 

In ring Francis has finally gotten up off the ground and the best thing he could come up with is backing Thoth into the corner for a rope break. Long moves in and separates the two men as Mak backs away from Thoth on the verge of crying. Thoth just looks on with that determined gaze as the Franchise, blindly mind you, charges in and gets flat out blasted with a jumping calf kick to the mouth.

 

"Yeah, like nearly kill people on TWO separate occasions!"

 

"Okay either you shut up about Edwin or I'm going to shut you up and maybe just maybe if I feel generous I'll spread your ashes over the San Francisco bay!" Riley opens his mouth and shuts it quickly before blinking and contemplating his words and changing the subject. "What's with all the blind charges... you'd think being as Franchisable as Mak is, that he'd realize Thoth's just waiting for him. He's used Mak's own strategy to beat him!"

 

"Well turn about is fair play."

 

Francis picks himself up off the mat and rambles over towards the ropes where he throws a mini hissy fit and kicks the bottom rope a few times, obviously pretty upset.

 

“YOU’RE A PUSSY! YOU’RE A PUSSY!!”

 

The crowd really gets on him but Mak finally calms down and turns to Thoth his vengeance in his eyes. He slowly walks up to the Balancer who’s looking for a collar and elbow tie up and Francis obliges – but quickly moves into a side headlock before spinning around behind Thoth for a back waist lock. Francis releases the waist lock immediately snitching in a full nelson, for what can only be a Dragon suplex and he hits finally scoring some offense on the Balancer.

 

“Yeah Mak drop him right on his neck.”

 

“Francis with some new life and maybe he’s back into this match.”

Mak picks up the Balancer and for the first time in the match gets some offense as he lifts him up and drops him down with a snap suplex before floating over into a cover.

 

ONE

 

 

 

TWO-

 

“There’s no way Thoth’s going to give up this early in the game.”

 

“Boy Mak’s working the neck and head like a champ already.”

 

Francis rises up in wait and as Thoth pushes himself off the mat Mak blazes in and nails him with a deadly Yakuza kick . Thoth hits the mat and Mak brings his leg down across the Balancers chest, basically sitting on him for a cover!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

T-

 

“No Francis is getting a little cocky and I’d say that will lead to his downfall.”

 

“But did you see the impact on that kick. Thoth should just give up now and admit that he’s not Franchise level.”

 

Francis poses for the crowd and turns his back to Thoth mocking everyone by pointing to his head before flipping the crowd off. The “YOU’RE A PUSSY” chant gets louder and louder as Mak just laughs it off. But still visibly upset about the amount of respect Thoth showed him earlier, the Franchise turns around with a cocky and arrogant smirk – to hear the LOUD cheers of the fans and to see Thoth stand up and look Mak dead in the eyes!

 

“OH NO! DO SOMETHING MAK!!”

 

Francis scowls and rushes forward bring his leg into the air for another Yakuza kick - but Thoth saw it coming a mile away and ducks taking him to the mat with a single leg takedown. Francis hits the mat stunned before sitting up and getting cracked upside his noggin with a knee to the back of the head.

 

“What a strike by Thoth. Francis is out like a light as Long makes the count!”

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

T

H

R-

 

“No Francis gets a shoulder up.”

 

Francis gets the self proclaimed Franchise up to his vertical base but Mak scores a toe kick to the gut doubling over his opponent before latching on a front face lock – but Thoth grabs Francis’s waist and hoists him overhead with a Northern Lights Suplex and connects holding the bridge!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE-

 

And Mak bridges up at the last second breaking the count - but Thoth leans on him and forces Mak to LOOSE HIS BRIDGE!

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

T

H

R

E-

 

And the Franchise breaks the count by hitting Thoth in the ribs causing him to let go of his bridge. Francis rolls over towards the turnbuckle and tries to pull himself up using the ropes just as Thoth gets to his feet. Not wanting to lose his advantage the Balancer sprints in and jumps with his knee extended…

 

 

 

…

 

 

 

…Only to hit nothing but air and turnbuckle with his face and knee as Mak ducks out of the way. Francis rises to his feet and grabs his opponent by the neck. Then the self proclaimed Franchise drapes Thoth over his back signaling for his new funky looking Across the back neck breaker.

 

“The Franchise looking for that Modified Reverse neck breaker!!”

 

“That moves above average!”

 

But Thoth spins off his back and grabs his arm before twirling Mak around and sticking his head in between his own legs.

 

“RIOT OF THE BLOOD!!!”

 

“NOOOOOOOO!!!”

 

Thoth tries to pick Francis up for his cradle tombstone piledriver but Francis blocks lifting his head straight up nailing Thoth in the nuts with a head BUTT and saving himself from one hell of a headache! Eddy Long looks back in the ring after checking out the buck some lady in the third row.

 

“What a cheap shot!”

 

“It looked accidental and besides the ref didn’t call it.”

 

“That’s because he was too busy looking at that woman chest!”

The self proclaimed Franchise slowly goes behind and grabs the daze Thoth in another back waist lock - but Thoth shakes the cobwebs out and is quick to counter, snaking his leg around Francis’s effectively blocking the Dragon suplex his opponent hit once before… if that’s what Mak was going for…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…But Francis had a whole different plan of attack as he makes sure to lock Thoth leg and slides forward from the Full Nelson. Thoth audibly gasps as he can find no way to counter and smirks while driving Thoth’s face into the mat with a modified STROKE!!!!

 

“Platinum Nightmare~! Mak hit him with the PLATINUM NIGHTMARE!!!”

 

Thoth hits the canvas like a ton of bricks and as Mak rises up and stands tall! The arena goes quiet hoping, willing Thoth to kick out but the Franchise doesn’t go for a cover?!

 

“Why the hell isn’t he going for a cover? That’s best offense he’s gotten this entire match?!"

 

Instead he pulls Thoth out to the center of the ring and twirls stepping over his right leg. Then he repeats the process with the left effectively grapevining both limbs before falling to the mat and reaching around Thoth’s neck and arms pulling back! For a Full nelson, double STF submission hold!!!!!

 

“FINISHING TOUCHES! WHAT A MOMENT MARK! HE’S GONNA MAKE THOTH TAP TO IT FOR SCREWING WILSON IN THE TRIPLE THREAT TITLE MATCH!!!”

 

“Please Riley…”

 

“But he’s paying back the man that helped make him what he is today. I’m about to cry.”

 

“God Bobby calm down before you bust something…”

 

“I think I already did…”

 

Thoth’s face is a mask of pain as Francis continues to wrench away with the deadly double STF, and Mak all the while is yelling about respecting the Magnificent 7, Chris Wilson and finally the Franchise!!!

 

 

 

 

And Thoth finally is forced to submit ending his pain.

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

“The winner of this match by submission… “The Franchise” MAAAK FRAAANCISssssss!”

 

“Well Thoth dominated most of the match but the upstart rookie Francis pulled out the victory with Chris Wilson’s Platinum Nightmare and Finishing Touches.”

 

“See Stevens, Mak really is the Franchise… he pulled out a win over one of the best in Thoth!”

 

Francis releases the hold and rolls out of the ring staggering to the back with a hand held high and with that SWF Smarkdown goes to commercial break.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

And slowly, veeeeeeeery slowly, painfully slowly, we return to the Alltel Arena and come upon fans, cheering loudly. Those merchandise-wearing folk, with their Ash Ketchum foam fingers and their Suicide King shirts, and their foam World Title belts, and their ELM action figures, are excited, all trying to get on TV, some with signs, reading:

 

“Where’s the Funny Hat, Flesher?”

 

“I Went To Smarkdown, And All I Got Was This Stupid Sign!”

 

“BOBBY RILEY IS MY GAY LOVER! JUST KIDDING!”

 

and

 

“Pokemania Is Runnin’ Wild In Arkansas!”

 

And after we see some of those signs, we switch to the anoouncers table, where we are greeted with a big, happy-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Riley: I CAN’T BELIVEVE IT’S NOT BUTTER!!!!

 

Stevens: I told you it was Icee-Hot.

 

Bobby Riley is in excessive pain, grabbing his balls and crying as Stevens looks away, not wanting to see the mess under the table.

 

Riley: IT BURNS! IT BURNS! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

 

Stevens: Well, duh, of course it’s gonna.

 

Riley: WAIT! WHERE’S THE FIFTY BUCKS YOU BET ME?!?!?!

 

Stevens: Excuse me? I never bet you $50 dollars to put butter, much less anything on your balls! You wanted to “grease” them up yourself!

 

Riley: NEVER MIND THE $50! I GET IT LATER! NOW JUST GET ME SOMETHING TO STOP THE BURN... NOW!!!!

 

Stevens reaches over to the side, going thorugh a small bag’s contents.

 

Stevens: How about Advil?

 

Riley: YES! IT BURNS!!!

 

Stevens: Tylenol?

 

Riley: ANYTHING?!?!

 

Stevens: Bengay?

 

Riley: YES!

 

Stevens: ...

 

Riley: STOP THE JOKES!

 

Suddenly, Funyon walks up to Stevens and whispers into his ear something. Stevens’ eyes widen as if he were a deer looking into the headlights of a semi.

 

Stevens: What? We’re live? We’ve been live this whole time?!?!?!

 

Riley: Oh shit...

 

Stevens: Er, ummm... Welcome back to SWF Smarkdown, where, as we always say in the SWF-

 

Riley: Hey, it doesn’t feel like my underwear’s too tight anymore, Mark.

 

Stevens: Not exactly. Joined by the one, the only Bobby Riley, I’m “Grand Slam” Mark Stevens, live here in Little Rock with TNT and Ash Ketchum in a bitter duel up next! Boy, do these guys dislike each other.

 

Riley: Exactly, Stevens. As a matter of fact, these two have been trying to destroy each other over the series of about a monthful of run-ins and tag team matches. It’s been about 50-50 so far in this series, which is why my prediciton for this match is TNT to go over in a 30 second squash and end Ash’s career.

 

Stevens: Wow, that sounded intelligent. Excpet for the prediciton, which sounded a bit... nerdy. But still overall sounding intelligent.

 

Riley: Thank you. You think I’m intelligent, the burning in my pants has gone down, this night is getting better. Maybe if TNT wins tonight, then I can be happy again.

 

Stevens: Well, it looks like it’s about time for this match to get underway-

 

Immediately, the crowd boos like a mo' fo' as a few "Oy's" signal the inauguration of AC/DC's "TNT." Suddenly, the entrance curtains begin to ruffle as a dark figure emerges from the backstage area. The figure steps into the sea of red and orange strobelights, and is illuminated by them, revealed as Taylor Nicholas Thompson. The letters "T-N-T" flash across the Smarktron and just as a resounding "Watch me exploooooooooooode!!!!!" echoes throughout the arena, and the hulking mass that is Taylor Thompson briskly strides down the aisleway.

 

Funyon: The following match is scheduled for one-fall!!!! Introducing first, from Anaheim, California, weighing in at 267 pounds, he is a member of the MAGNIFICENT SEVEN and one half of the SWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... TAY-LORRR NICHOLAS THOMP-SONNNNNNNNNNN!!

 

Taylor hops upon the ring apron, flipping the heated audience off to a rather negative reaction, and steps through the ropes and into the ring. Taylor hits each corner, letting out a "KABOOM!" on each one.

 

Well, TNT sure is ready for this match, isn’t he?

 

Riley: Looks like it. He’s tough and he’s beaten Ash twice in a row!

 

Stevens: But then again, he’s had Frost by his side each time.

 

Suddenly, the lights cut out, a kickin’ piano piece blastin’ over the speakers. The crowd begins to cheer a little, pyro similar to Christian’s entrance flowing from the top of the SmarkTron and spewing from vents in front of the entrance. The crowd rises to its feet, roaring with cheers.

 

Riley: FUCK! NOW I CAN’T SEE!!!! DAMMIT, HOW CAN I COMMENTATE IF I CAN’T F*CKIN’ SEE THE MONTIOR(He realizes that the monitor is still on and he can still see it.)-Oh, never mind.

 

At the same time, a Poke Ball upon the SmarkTron. It begins to spin as the crowd pops, spinning faster and faster and faster until it stops, blocked out by a picture of a certain wrestler’s head, winking at everyone in the arena. A huge pyro blast suddenly kicks up from the front of the stage as Billy Crawford’s “Pokemon Theme” blasts through the speakers. The pyro in front of the entrance then stops, and a spotlight shines down on Ash Ketchum and Mr. Nagasaki. Turning around from his Jericho-like pose, Mr. Nagasaki on his right side, he spins, smiling happily as the crowd pops. Ash turns to look, waving into the ring at TNT, who sneers unhappily as Ketchum, and Mr. Nagasaki make their way down to the ring, slapping hands with some of the crazed fans.

 

Funyon: And his opponent, being accompanied by Mr. Nagasaki, from Pallet Town, weighing in at 258 pounds... ASH KET-CHUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

 

He climbs up onto the apron, opening the ropes to let Mr. N in, then climbs in himself. Ash then climbs the turnbuckle closest to the crowd and with lightning precision, removes his shirt. Whirling it wildly over his head, he smiles as he releases the shirt, flinging several rows back into the hands of some JD fan. JD has fans? Whatever. The young child smiles as Ash dismounts the turnbuckle, turning to face the one man he seems to have a growing hated for: TNT.

 

Stevens: To be serious... Ash doesn’t stand a damn chance against TNT. He just doesn’t have it anymore.

 

Riley: Oh, boo-hoo. Cry me a river, build a f*ckin dam, and shut up.

 

Stevens: It’s cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it.

 

Riley: But I like mine better.

 

The two men move toward each other, referee in the middle. TNT and Ash stare each other down as the referee explains the rules of the match to the two men once more. Once finished he backs off as the two men slowly back up to prevent the other from jumping them. Meanwhile, the timekeeper reaches across the table, and...

 

Stevens: Looks like we’re about to get cookin’ here in this match-up!

 

DING DING DING! The two men leap at the first chance they get, charging at each other right out of the chute. Ash strikes first, sticking his shoulder out as he hits a running TNT with a shoulder block, Taylor hitting the mat.

 

Stevens: Brutal shoulder block from Ketchum!

 

Riley: Now don’t start climaxing because Ash is winning...

 

TNT rises to his feet, just as Ash waits for him, charging at him fiercely.

 

Stevens: Ash Ketchum, TNT in the ring, the crowd on their feet as Ash-Oh! Quick clothesline from Ash, but he’s back up!

 

As TNT begins to get up, Ketchum thrusts his leg forward, Taylor catching it before it hits his chest. Ketchum flows through the move in mind, a frontflip enziguri, leaping off his other foot and into the air, kicking TNT in the jaw hard! Ash flips through the air and lands on his feet as TNT staggers back a foot or two. while TNT gets to his feet. Ketchum follows TNT, quickly grabbing his arm and whipping him to the ropes. TNT flies toward them, bouncing back quickly as Ash Ketchum ducks down, scooping TNT up across his chest as he spins and drops down, slamming TNT onto the mat with a Irish whip powerslam!

 

Stevens: HUGE POWERSLAM!!ASH KETCHUM PUTS TNT DOWN TO THE MAT, AND FOLLOWS WITH A QUICK COVER!

 

One!

 

Two! TNT kicks out! The crowd sighs as Ash grabs TNT, pulling him up onto his feet. Quickly, he grabs TNT and whips him toward the ropes, but as he does, TNT hits the ropes, tumbling over them as he tangles himself up in them. He falls onto the apron and then to the concrete, Ash Ketchum following TNT through the ropes and outside as the Explosive One’s hand travels under the ring apron.

 

Riley: Wow, outside action early on in the match! Things are about to get nasty!

 

Ketchum promptly hops off the apron, grabbing TNT as the ref tries to get a clear view of what’s going on, but as he pulls TNT up, Ash Ketchum is surprised as an aluminum baseballbat is pulled from under the ring and the handle jabbed into his brusied ribs!! Ash screams in pain, clutching his ribs as TNT delivers another shot to the bruised ribs, Ash screaming in pain once more as TNT gets to his feet, depositing the bat on the apron as he grabs the head of Ash Ketchum.

 

Stevens: AW COME ON! TNT STOOPS LOW ENOUGH TO USE A BASEBALL BAT ON ASH KETCHUM!

 

TNT quickly grabs Ash by the trunks and throws him forward, slamming his ribs into the apron before rolling him back into the ring, TNT following Ash into the ring.

 

Stevens: A cheap shot by TNT, but he’s in control.

 

Riley: YES.

 

As TNT picks Ash up, delivering punches and kicks to Ash’s chest, Taylor strikes Ash with his knee in the chest,a quick knee lift that keeps Ash bent over, allowing TNT to lift Ash up onto hiss shoulders. TNT quickly falls backwards, TNT landing with his upper body on top of Ash, who lands back first to the mat as a result of the Samoan drop! Ash lands on his back as TNT sits up, not yet done with Ash. As quickly as he can, he gets up, grabbing Ash in the process in a side headlock and pulling him up, too, but then, he quickly sprints a few feet before jumping into the air and dropping Ash down on his face with a running bulldog! Ash’s face hits the mat, and he is quickly rolled over and covered by TNT, Kivell dropping ot the mat to make the count...

 

One!

 

Two!

 

THREE-NO! ASH KETCHUM GETS THE SHOULDER UP! His arm thrusts high into the air as he breaks the pin, driving the crowd to its feet again. TNT goes slow in getting onto his knees, and then, after nearly slipping, slowly pushes himself up onto his feet, sweating semi-profusely. With Ash on his back, Taylor grabs both Ash's legs, stepping over Ash's body so he is turned onto his stomach, and pulls back.

 

Stevens: BOSTON CRAB! TNT LOCKS IN A MOVE! HE MIGHT GET ASH TO TAP OUT!

 

Riley: I doubt it, but it’d be nice if that happened.

 

Stevens: Ketchum tries to fight it, but I don’t think he can get out of this!

 

But as TNT pulls and pulls, Ash Ketchum begins to crawl, pulling his body around as he reaches out for the ropes. He misses the first time, digging even more, and more, and more, pulling TNT back a little each time...

 

Stevens: TNT has been dominating Ash Ketchum so far in this match!

 

Until he grabs hold of the ropes and gets a rope break! The referee calls for it, and quickly, TNT lets go of the hold, pissed as all hell, but Ash is once more grabbed by the head and pulled to his feet as TNT levitates Ash vertically, or in other words, picks him up.

 

Riley: Shiiiit. It’s not over yet, is it?

 

Stevens: I don’t believe so, Bobby!

 

TNT grabs hold of Ash’s head, quickly pulling him to his feet. Upon doing so, he lets Ash go and watches him totter back before TNT laps up the chance and scores with a kick to the abdomen. Ash buckles over as TNT knots his arm around Ash’s neck, going for a DDT. Ash suddenly elevates TNT into the air, lifting TNT up and countering the DDT attempt into a northern lights suplex. Ash keeps his back bridged to ensure a pin:

 

Stevens: TNT had Ketchum right he wanted him, but Ash thwarts a DDT attempt with a northern lights suplex!

 

Riley: And here’s the count!

 

One!

 

Two!

 

TH-NO! THE REF SEES MR. NAGASAKI GETTING INTO THE RING AND BREAKS THE COUNT UP! TNT gets up, stomping over to Mr. Nagasaki and attempting to knock him off , but Nagasaki ducks the blow, grabbing the back of TNT’s head, dropping off the apron and dropping TNT throat-first across the ropes with a rope guillotine! TNT staggers back from the blow as Nagasaki slides into the ring, turning around just as Nagasaki gets up, and quickly, Ash’s manager leaps into the air, spinning around as he nails TNT in the mouth with the heel of his right boot, the resulting spinning heel kick knocking TNT down as well as Nagasaki!

 

Stevens: HUGE SPINNING HEEL KICK FROM MR. NAGASAKI! HE MIGHT HAVE HIT FROST IN THE FACE!

 

Riley: Duh. That’s the point, dumbass.

 

Stevens: TNT is down, but Ahs is getting back up, and I think it’s time to dispense some justice!

 

Ash grabs hold of TNT’s head, quickly pulling him to his feet. Upon doing so, Ash Ketchum draws his arm back and lands one palm strike square into TNT’s chest. The Explosive One cries out in pain as another palm strike goes into his chest, but Ketchum responds, clenching his fist and diriving it under his chin with a strong rising uppercut! TNT falters back as Ash pitches his arm out and catches TNT by the neck. Ash tenses his hand, pushing his fingers deeper and deeper around TNT’s exposed throat in a chokehold. The crowd explodes as Ash prepares to do the unthinkable for a match like this… chokeslam TNT!

 

Stevens: ASH GOING FOR A CHOKESLAM!

 

Riley: Um…what is he thinking? Is he that dumb?

 

Ash and TNT struggle for position, rocking back and forth until TNT lands an elbow into the side of Ash’s neck, causing Ash to shrug off. Ash drunkenly stammers back from the impact with his front towards his opponent, but as TNT charges at Ash, Ketchum regains his composure as he pitches his arm out and catches TNT by the neck. Ash tenses his hand, pushing his fingers deeper and deeper around TNT’s exposed throat in a chokehold. The crowd explodes as Ash lifts TNT up, and quickly, she gets slammed down into a god almighty-

 

Stevens: CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM FROM ASH! COVER!

 

One!

 

Two!

 

Th-NO! TNT KICKS OUT! Ketchum sighs in disbelief, figuring he had TNT. The crowd is displeased as Ash still thinks he had TNT, but alas, he decides to just not argue and slowly begins to get up, grabbing his ribs in a bit of pain as TNT tries to recover from the chokeslam, grabbing his throat and coughing.

 

Riley: Get up, fool! Show Ash Ketchum what for!

 

TNT leans forward, reaching out for the ropes as Ash has slowly managed to recover and slides behind TNT. He pulls at TNT’s legs, uprooting her from the mat and pinning him on his shoulders in a rollup.

 

Stevens: Ash with the surprise roll up! TNT didn’t see it coming as Ash sneaks into the ring and rolls TNT up!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

TH- Kickout!

 

Ash and TNT quickly get up, charging at each other. Ash extends his arm out for a clothesline, but TNT ducks under it and changes direction, headed for the ropes. Ash stops as TNT hits the ropes and flies back, exploding off the ropes with a burst of speed, charging at Ketchum, forearm extended, and smashing him with a quick forearm smash! Ash hits the mat hard, hopping back onto his feet slowly, just in time for TNT to deliver a quick hook into Ash’s face, sending him staggering back a foot or two. As Ash begins to stagger back toward TNT, he grabs Ketchum. Quickly, TNT goes about waistlocking the staggering Ash, and quickly bending back, he lifts him over his head, releasing him into an overhead release belly-to-belly suplex! Ash flies through the air and lands back-first on the mat, crying in pain as Thompson lands on his back, but slowly he gegins to rise to his feet after the move. As he gets up, he staggers back toward the corner, grabbing hold of the top rope.

 

Stevens: WHAT A SUPLEX! ASH KETCHUM IS DOWN! ASH KETCHUM IS DOWN AND OUT! AND WHAT DOES TNT HAVE PLANNED NEXT!

 

Riley: Finish him!

 

As TNT grabs hold of the ropes, he pulls himself onto the second rope. Standing there for a second, he stares down at Ash before leaping off, shifting his body so his elbow points down and is the impact point on his body, flying through the air off the second rope, nailing Ash in the chest with an elbow drop!

 

Stevens: ELBOW DROP FROM TNT! WAIT, HE’S ROLLING OVER ON HIM! HERE’S THE COVER!

 

One!

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

ASH KICKS OUT! TNT can’t believe it! He’s pissed as all hell, and as he gets to his feet, he bends over, grabbing Ash Ketchum who is starting to feel the pain in his ribs. Using his quickness, TNT runs across the rings, bounding off the ropes, and flying back at Ash, he extends his arm out, connecting with Ash’s chin, nailing him with a clothesline, Ash’s back against the ropes! Ash ducks, though, catching TNT on his back, lifitng himself up. With great speed, he flips over the ropes, tumbling to the concrete and hitting the concrete in a big mess as the crowd gasps and a few screams are heard.

 

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!

 

Stevens: CACTUS CLOTHESLINE FROM TNT, BUT ASH COUNTERS WITH A BACK BODY DROP! TNT FLIPS OVER THE TOP ROPE AND LANDS OUTSIDE THE RING!

 

Or at least that’s what should happen, as when Ash flips TNT over, he grabs hold of the top rope and holds on, instead landing on the apron, nearly stepping on his bat as he reaches down and grabs it. Ketchum begins to turn around just as TNT clenches the bat in his hand and swings around, striking Ash’s ribs with a sharp “THUD!” and a small “CRACK!” perhaps as Ketchum grabs his ribs and falls over, maybe having had his ribs broken by TNT!

 

Stveens: OH MY GOD! I THINK ASH KETCHUM JUST HAD HIS RIBS BROKEN WITH THAT CHEAP SHOT!

 

Riley: Like you haven’t done that, Mark. You’ve hurt plenty of people that way!

 

Ash Ketchum lies on the ground, bleeding a bit from the mouth and rolling in pain and trying to get up as TNT lines Ash up for another shot with the baseball bat, but as he does, Mr. Nagasaki slides into the ring, reaching into his robe and extracting one lone taser gun. With a cry of “BANZAI!!!” that startles TNT, he thrusts the taser forward into TNT’s ribs, causing him to collapse to the mat, falling onto his back, the wind knocked out of him as Mr. Nagasaki helps Ash up. The crowd is on their feet, electrified right now as Ash climbs the turnbuckle with Mr. N’s help, reaching the top of the rope. After a quick glance at TNT, Ash hurdles off the top rope, and as he reaches the highest point, Ash tucks his arms and legs close to his body. Right before collision, Ash pulls them outwards in a five-star frog splash onto Wilson’s chest, causing thousands of camera flashes to off through the arena, while Ash grabs his chest as he lies on top of TNT in major pain!

 

Stevens: SNORLAX SPLASH! AN OLD FAVORITE FROM ASH KETCHUM HAS BEEN EXECUTED! HERE’S THE COUNT!

 

One...

 

Riley: Aw, hell no...

 

Two...

 

Riley: Aw, fuck NO!

 

THREE!!!

 

DING DING DING! ASH PULLS OFF THE UPSET AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!

 

Funyon: Your winner... ASH KETCHUMMMMMMMMMM!!!

 

Ketchum lies in the mat as the ref checks over him, TNT getting to his feet, grabbing his side. He looks around for his baseball bat, and finding it, clenches hold of it, attempting to lift it up so when he gets up, he can smash Ash again. The ref begins to call for help, but Ash shoves the referee away as Mr. Nagasaki helps him up. Out of the corner of his eye, Mr. N sees TNT go for the back, and reaching back into his robe for the taser, he startles TNT, who instead decides to exit the ring quickly as Ash is helped up.

 

Stevens: Don’t go away, folks, because we have more exciting action coming up next after commercial!

[Guest BA_Baracus]

We return from commercial to SWF Smarkdown and come upon Ash Ketchum in the ring, angry about something post-match. Maybe he’s just flipped, maybe he’s stressed out. Who knows.

 

“What is Ash’s problem?” Stevens asks as Ash grabs hold of the ropes, snapping them back in his anger. Matthew Kivell and several refs try to escort him back to the backstage area, as does Funyon and an EMT, but Ash refuses to go anywhere.

 

“You OK, dude?” Funyon begins, but Ash quickly spins around, turning to face Funyon, snatching his mic away with a scowl on his face. And slowly, he begins to unwind his stressful tale.

 

“You know what? I’m sick of this shit. Everyone’s always asking me questions about this and that, and you know what? IT ENDS NOW. So, before I continue, Misty, I have something to say to you, so please come out here. NOW.” Ash finishes the sentence with a bit of scorn.

 

“My word! Ash seems to be angry at Misty!” Stevens exclaims.

 

Just then, a blue light covers the arena as “She Is Beautiful” by Andrew W.K. kicks up. Misty enters the arena at the stage, a white spotlight shining on her and following her, the crowd cheering loudly as she heads down to ringside. She climbs in herself, and quickly, strikes a cute little pose in the ring as the song ends and the lights return to normal as Ash begins to speak again. Mr. Nagasaki begs Ash not to do anything to harm Misty, but he steps in between Nagasaki and Misty, leaving the pregnant girlfriend of Ash Ketchum face-to-face with the man who made her that way.

 

“Something tells me this might be the end for our favorite SWF couple...” Stevens answers worriedly.

 

“Good. I love a domestic argument!” Riley crudely remarks.

 

“Now, look, listen up, you. I came out here to say one thing, and to ask you something, and you better listen up good. Now first things first, I wanted to say-AAAAAGGGHHH!!!!” Ketchum grabs his ribs as a small box in his hand falls out. He clenches his ribs in pain, dropping down onto his knees as he clutches his ribs. His arm stretches out, and Misty grabs it to pull it back up. Mr. Nagasakigrabs Ash from behind to help

 

“Can you pick that up for me?” Ash asks. Misty politely obliges.

 

“Well, looks like Ash’s ribs are still killing him...” Stevens remarks as Misty holds the little box in her hands. Wanting to see what’s inside, and being a bit greedy, she opens the box, something inside it reflecting off the lights in the arena. Her eyes widen as she looks down at Ash, then the box’s contents. Ash looks up, pain in his eyes, but by now, he is smiling and laughing. He cannot contain himself anymore.

 

“No, that isn’t...” Stevens begins, but he is cut-off by Ash.

 

 

“Misty...”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Will you marry me?”

 

“OH MY GOD!!!!” Stevens cries as the crowd goes nuts. Misty nearly goes into shock as Ash begins to smile, though his ribs kill him so much. The crowd chants “DO IT!” over and over again, cheering like crazy at the prospect of a wedding. “ASH KETCHUM HAS JUST ASKED THE MOTHER OF HIS FUTURE CHILD TO MARRY HIM!”

 

“SWERVE!” Bobby riley screams out upon seeing Ash’s post-match proposal.

 

“But will she say yes... or no?” Stevens inquires with great wonder as Misty stands there speechless in the center of the ring.

 

“NO! SAY NO!” Riley screams at the young pregnant woman, hoping to sway her opinion, but her mind is made up as she lets go of Ash’s hand to grab his microphone and answer his reply with but one single word that will forever change Ash’s life drastically:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

”Yes.”

 

The crowd goes nuts. Ash promptly gets to his feet as the two embrace and kiss happily. His ribs don’t hurt anymore. Well, of course they do, but he doesn’t care. He’s gettin’ fuckin’ married, dude!

 

“ASH AND MISTY ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!” Stevens exclaims. Riley slams his head repeatedly into the desk numerous times, almost blanked out. “Wow, we have to throw Ash a bachelor party and everything and stuff.”

 

“Can I go?” Riley asks, hoping to get something out of it.

 

“I dunno. It’s up to Ash.” Stevens replies rather seriously.

 

“Awww...” Riley sadly proclaims.

 

“Bobby, don’t you want the bachlorette’s party anyways? They’ll have a male stripper there-”

 

“OH SHUT UP!” Bobby cries out in response.

 

“But what an occasion! Ash and Misty are getting married! Details will follow, but, whoa! what a moment!” Stevens exclaims as Ash and Misty embracing and kissing leads us away to commercial land...

[Guest BA_Baracus]

SWF Storm returns with a panning shot of the screaming audience. A graphic swoops onto the screen showing the stoic Tod deKindes, arms akimbo, on the left and Annie Eclectic, cocky grin and her thumb pointed towards her chest, on the right. Underneath both pictures is simple text stating "0-0" with the words "Best of Five Series - United States Title" above. Cut to the announcer's table where "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens and Bobby Riley sit, ready to call the next match....

 

 

Stevens: Welcome back to SWF Storm, and we have had a jam packed night of it so far. A hardcore title match, Thoth taking on the newest Mag Seven member, TNT and Ash duking it out, and next up, the very first of the "Best of Five" series to decide the United States Championship.

 

Riley: That's right, Mark, let's see Major League Baseball get this action out of five games. Annie Eclectic has seen some backlash of late, wrongly accused of not being able to beat Tod deKindes fair and square. I don't see where people are coming up with this...

 

Stevens: You mean besides the fact that she couldn't kick out of a German Suplex Pin and needed Tom Flesher's help to screw Tod over for the Light Heavyweight Championship?

 

Riley: ....As I was saying, I don't see how the -mutants- are coming up with these notions, but Annie Eclectic is going to silence her critics once and for all. A Best of Five series for the SWF US Title. First to get three matches wins the strap, and with the first match being ruled as a no disqualifications match, the "Hardcore Queen" is at a huge advantage to start, this is -her- environment.

 

Stevens: I wish I could argue that, Tod's at a disadvantage from the start, but if he can take this match, a match that Annie Eclectic thrives in, it would be huge momentum for him throughout the series.

 

Riley: We've only just started, but this first match may just set the tone for either wrestler, just thinking about it makes me... ohhhhhh, tingly!

 

Stevens: You ever... -EVER- do that again, I WILL hit you.

 

Riley: Prude.

 

Stevens: Pedophile.

 

Riley: What?

 

Stevens: Nothing, anyways, Funyon's inside the ring, time to start the Series~!

 

 

Cut to the immaculatly dressed Funyon inside the ring, microphone in hand.

 

 

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, this no disqualifications match is set for one fall, and is the FIRST match of the BEST OF FIVE series for the United States Championship!

 

 

The crowd cheers heavily for the first ever best of five series, but quickly turns their tide around to boo the opening strains of "Angry Johnny" by Poe.

 

 

Funyon: Introducing the challenger, from Indianapolis Indiana. Weighing in at one hundred seventy five pounds and representing the Magnificent Seven.... she is the current Light Heavyweight Champion and the SWF's "Hardcore Queen" .... ANNIEEEEEE EEEEEECLEEEECTIIIIIC!!!

 

 

The red catsuit-clad Annie E appears from behind the curtain, stopping at the top of the ramp to swing her Kendo Sword in warmup motions. Thirty seconds pass before she acknowledges the crowd's existence, tracing a line across the teardrop on her left eye and making a fake pouting face, almost appearing as if she's going to cry. Then she blows a kiss towards the audience and smiles her cocky smile as she struts her way to ringside. She climbs the steps and steps through the second rope with her sword still in hand. She strides to the near corner, climbing up to the second rope and sharply pointing to her chest, which is recieved with a chant of "YOU SCREWED TOD! YOU SCREWED TOD!"

 

 

Stevens: Much hatred coming from the audience for her match on Storm, and I can't blame them. That was one of the worst endings in the history of wrestling. One can only wonder what might happen if her or Tom Flesher get near the World Title.

 

Riley: I can wonder, and not only wonder but hope and pray. That would be the best thing that ever happened in this league.

 

Stevens: You never fail to prove how much of a sick sick man you are.

 

 

The lights inside the arena dim, as fog billows from the entrance ramp. "Cold" by Static X begins to play over the loud speakers as the audience turns at once towards the top of the ramp, cheering their hearts out.

 

 

Funyon: And now, the champion... from Muenchen, Germany. Weighing in at two hundred twenty five pounds and representing X Force Nine... he is the SWF UNITED STATES CHAMPION.... Tod... deKINDES~!

 

 

Tod deKindes walks out, trenchcoat flailing behind him as his speed towards the ring forces it back. His eyes stare straight out of his silver sunglasses straight into the blood red teardrop on Annie E. A chant goes up of "SCREW HER BACK! SCREW HER BACK!" from the crowd, as Tod deKindes stares into the ring, his hatred focused on the woman inside the ring.

 

 

Stevens: The battlelines have drawn and the audience has clearly chosen their side.

 

Riley: How would you "screw her back"? I mean, there's nowhere to put it...

 

Stevens: Bobby.....

 

Riley: It's just smooth skin. Maybe you could bash it against her spine until....

 

Stevens: no Bobby......

 

Riley: Perhaps it's a fetish? A crowd wide fetish?

 

Stevens: Just. Shut. Up.

 

 

Tod deKindes looks at the kendo sword in the woman's hands, then tosses his shades and trenchcoat to the side. He rolls underneath the bottom rope as the lights return to normal. Popping back up to his feet, Tod quickly shuffle steps up and attempts to quick-shot Annie E with a superkick... but the Hardcore Queen ducks the shot and turns around, swinging her wooden sword hard into the small of Tod deKindes' back....

 

 

DING DING DING

 

 

Stevens: Annie Eclectic doesn't wait long to take advantage of the no-DQ stip, driving the sword into Tod's back after dodging his superkick.... Tod deKindes isn't big on kick attacks, maybe he wanted to get Annie back for her sneak attack on Storm.

 

Riley: And there's the difference. Anything Annie does Tod can do, anything Annie does better than Tod.

 

Stevens: You go into a musical number and I guarantee this crowd will lynch you.

 

Riley: But I love showtunes.....

 

 

Annie brings her sword back and drives it a second time into the small of Tod's back, dropping the XF9er to his knees in pain. A third shot bends the German back as he screams out in agony. Annie takes her time, measuring her distance from the German, and then sends another sword shot.... into his left shoulder. Along with another, and another, forcing deKindes face first into the mat. deKindes rolls out of the ring, avoiding any more damage that could be done by the Hardcore Queen.

 

 

Stevens: *sarcasticly* The technical skills of Annie E are amazing. Look at her go.

 

Riley: Stevens, this is no-dq. It's not counting points for falls and suplexes, this is a grudge match and Annie E is doing what anyone would.

 

 

Annie E slides to the outside, following Tod in his effort to escape. Tod turns and heads around the corner, holding his lower back with his right hand. Annie follows in hot persuit as Tod rolls back into the ring. Annie follows him in but gets a right hand as she comes up to her feet, forcing her to drop the sword on the mat. A second shot sends her reeling to the ropes, where Tod presses up against her. Grabbing her wrist, Tod irish whips Annie across the ring. Walking up to the middle of the ring, Tod steadies himself, waiting for Eclectic's return, when he picks the Hardcore Queen up and holds her against his side.... then sits out, slamming her back first to the mat! deKindes grabs a leg for a cover....

 

 

ONE...

 

TWO....KICKOUT!

 

 

Stevens: Not enough usually, but you never know when a sidewalk slam is going to stun someone enough for three.

 

Riley: True, I mean, I'm sure you could get Cutthroat down with that one.

 

Stevens: Cutthroat would sell a papercut.

 

Riley: Ah, if there's one thing we can agree on, it's our hatred of Cutthroat.

 

Stevens: True. Too true.

 

Riley: Dumb bastard.

 

 

Tod lifts Annie up to her feet, only to snapmare her back to the mat. The force rolls Annie back up into a sitting position, where Tod leaps up and dropkicks the back of her head, snapping it forward before it whips back hard to the mat. Annie holds her head and kicks at the mat, obviously in pain from the force of the strike. Tod deKindes goes over to the ropes, bouncing off and coming back with a knee drop to the back of the head. Tod straddle Annie's back, clamping his hands around her chin and pulling back, eliciting screams of pain from the Hardcore Queen.

 

 

Stevens: Rear chin lock!

 

Riley: The crowd is going nuts!!!

 

 

Crickets chirp as the fans suddenly go quiet on the rest hold.

 

 

Stevens: ....will Annie submit!?!?!?

 

 

Annie screams out to a totally quiet arena. Tod deKindes releases the hold, creating the biggest pop of the night as he lifts Annie back to her feet.

 

 

Riley: People don't like rear chin locks anymore? But the greats used that move! Hulk Hogan, Ed Leslie, John Tenta, Art Barr, Bob Orton.... Classic!

 

Stevens: ....

 

Riley: I've used a rear chin lock for pete's sake!

 

Stevens: ....

 

Riley: Or maybe it was a balls to the chin...

 

Stevens: Back to the match now....

 

 

Tod whips Annie into the ropes, sending out his arm for a lariat, but Annie ducks underneath. Annie E drops down in a slide, grabbing her Kendo sword as she goes to the outside. Tod walks up to follow, but gets his feet swept out from underneath him by way of Annie's sword. Annie pulls Tod outside with her and immediatly takes another swing at Tod's shoulder with her sword, the CRACK heard echoing throughout the arena. Another shot and Tod goes down writhing in pain, clutching at his shoulder. Not even taking the time to wise ass back to the booing crowd, Annie E lifts up the ring curtain, and starts pulling out weapons of mass destruction. Cookie sheets, trash cans, trash can lids, and a stop sign fly into the ring.

 

 

Stevens: I dont think Annie wants this match to start the series, she's looking to end it! Weapons galore litter the ring, and now we have a mine field of a wrestling ring!

 

Annie turns around to grab Tod, but deKindes is already on his feet and waiting with a hard right. A second, a third punch, and Tod rolls Annie E into the ring. Tod follows in and pulls Annie E to her feet. Tod irish whips Annie into the ropes, but the Hardcore Queen thinks fast and flies off the ropes with a cross body! .... Which gets caught by Tod deKindes! Tod shifts to hold Annie in a bodyslam position, then spins around, puts Annie E up in a bookend, and drops her onto a trashcan in the ring! Annie E archs back in pain, but Tod deKindes also drops to his knees, clutching at his shoulder.

 

 

Stevens: Tod hits Annie with that.... that move, I can't even describe it! But he pays the price as the damage that Annie inflicted to his shoulder takes hold!

 

Riley: He's hurt! Get him Annie, rip the shoulder right out from the socket~!

 

Stevens: Because permanent injury is an honorable way to end a fight.

 

Riley: Of course!

 

 

Tod runs to the ropes, hopping over another trash can to bounce off the ropes, then leaps off before he can trip up and lands a high elbow drop onto Annie Eclectic, sandwiching her between him and the trashcan. Tod hooks a leg for a cover...

 

ONE...

 

TWO....

 

THR...KICKOUT!

 

 

Stevens: Kickout! Close, but again, this is Annie's element, if a trashcan took her out, I'd doubt people would call her the hardcore queen!

 

Riley: Unless she's "Hardcore" in a different way.

 

Stevens: Like you'd care.

 

Riley: True dat. Wait....

 

Stevens: Heh, too easy.

 

 

Tod hits the mat in frustration, but the referee still gives a signal of 'two' to deKindes. Tod rises to his feet, and heads back to the ropes, bouncing back, he just catches a glimpse of silver before he gets knocked down by a thrown cookie sheet from Annie E! The Hardcore Queen scrambles over to her opponent with desperate speed and rolls him onto his back. Wrapping one arm around Tod's left and then placing the other around his throat, Annie E locks both hands to each wrist. She then leans back, placing an elbow on each knee, and successfully locking in the Triple C! Tod yells out in pain, the previous damage to his shoulder now multiplied as his arm feels in danger of being ripped from the socket. The official asks if he wants to submit, but the XF9er yells "NO" as the crowd starts to clap to get behind their hero....

 

Stevens: Triple C! Annie must be hurt more than we realized if she's pulling that out so quickly, but it may work, as her sword has done unknown damage already to that weak arm!

 

Riley: And that will be it, because Tod just never had a chance coming into this match, it's no-dq, and that's the Hardcore Queen's domain. Period.

 

Tod looks out, trying to clear his head from the pain enough to find where he is in the ring. He looks forward, but the ropes are too far for him to get to. The pain is surging throughout his body, his lower back , his left shoulder, both screaming out in pain. Annie rocks back and forth, rolling her feet to add pressure to his back and twisting to wrench the shoulder even further. Tod's face turns pink, then crimson as the air is now slowly losing the ability to reach his brain. The crowd begins to chant "DUH-KIN-DESS! DUH-KIN-DESS!" hoping to will their favorite to victory. With the last second of air beginning to leave his brain, Tod reaches out, hoping, praying that he could find something to release him. He feels something hard. It's thin. It's cold. Before he passes out, he throws it backwards...... as the corner of the cookie sheet hits the Hardcore Queen in the eye! Annie Eclectic drops back in immense pain, releasing the hold immediatly and laying face first on the mat in pain. A few seconds pass and Tod is able to get up to one knee, rolling his arm around, and looking at his near motionless opponent....

 

 

Stevens: He's BACK! Annie may live by the Kendo Sword but tonight she may have just died by the cookie sheet! Tod gets a bit of help from fate and gets out of that deadly Triple C with a shot to the eye, completely legal in Annie's own preferred type of match!

 

Riley: Dont' you care about her health? She may be blind now, unable to look at the beauty of a rose now, and all you care about is deKindes getting a win.

 

Stevens: And "Rip his arm out of the socket" is completely humane?

 

Riley: ... Shut. Up.

 

 

Tod sighs in relief, and then winces in pain. His shoulder throbs with a dull pain, and isn't immediatly responding to his commands. He puts this worry to the back of his mind and walks over to his opponent laying on the mat. Lifting her to her feet, he runs with her head to the turnbuckle and throws her face first into the top buckle! Tod grabs Annie E by the head and begins throwing it full speed into the top turnbuckle over and over, anger and pain taking control of his motions. Ten shots later, Annie E drops backwards to the mat, laying perfectly still. Tod grabs another cookie sheet and lifts it into the air. He comes down hard with the broad side of the sheet, hitting Annie E full on the right side of her face. The Hardcore Queen barely responds to the attack, and Tod goes for a cover as the referee drops....

 

 

Stevens: She's out! She's out cold!

 

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THREE...NO! KICKOUT!

 

 

Stevens: Tod can't believe she kicked out! Hell, I can't believe she kicked out.

 

 

The crowd goes silent for a split second, before chanting "DUH-KIN-DESS! DUH-KIN-DESS!" again. Tod looks at the crowd, then slowly starts to climb the ropes. He turns at the top to face the still motionless Annie Eclectic.... and leaps off the top rope, spinning and twisting his body around in a flipping four hundred and fifty degree motion, landing hard on top of the still Annie Eclectic. Tod hooks a leg once more, and the crowd chants with the referee's count....

 

 

ONE....

 

 

TWO....

 

 

THREE!!!!

 

 

DING DING DING

 

 

Funyon: Your winner, winning the first match in the series of five, the Champion, Tod DEKIIIIIINNNNDEEEEESSSS!!!

 

 

"Cold" by Static X plays as Tod raises a tired and hurting hand in victory.

 

 

Stevens: Neither fighter dominated, but a little luck and a lot of skill allowed Tod deKindes to escape the brutal hardcore world of Annie E up one to nothing in the series!

 

Riley: You mean a LOT of luck, Annie -should- have had this match won with the Triple C, she had in on, locked and done but a stray cookie sheet shot gets Tod out of it.

 

Stevens: And who do you think put that cookie sheet in the ring? Annie screwed Annie tonight, period, and the champ goes up one to nothing. Winning a no DQ match against the Hardcore Queen may be enough momentum to keep Tod unbeated against Annie E.

 

Riley: UNBEATEN? She beat him for the Light Heavyweight Title!

 

Stevens: So says you, but he was screwed and you know.... forget it, we're getting too wrapped up in this, and we still have one more match for everyone so stay tuned for more SWF SMARKDOWN!

[Guest BA_Baracus]

Smarks Wrestling Federation Smarkdown comes back from a short break, showing the fans still pumped after the first match in an epic best of five series between Annie Eclectic and Tod deKindes. The arena is buzzing with excitement as Main Event time rolls around, and every fan eagerly awaits the contest, making sure to hold their signs up high to have them appear on camera.

 

The crowd erupts in early cheer as the lights dim down, and a tinge of red is added to the lighting fixtures, as on the SmarkTron, a Canadian flag appears, fluttering in the breeze, accompanied by an instrumental version of 'O Canada', as a few dedicated Canadians in the audience put their hands on their hearts and sing the lyrics for themselves, while the hicks around them pelt them with apples.

 

Suddenly... "BOOM!" Flashy red pyro explodes around the entranceway, and slowly comes down in a beautiful display. A voice blares through the P.A as the opening of "Secret Agent Man" begins to play. From behind the curtain, a masked figure emerges, microphone in hand as the fans roars grow louder!

 

"Ladies and Gentleman!" He yells, taking a second to stop, and politely receive the cheers propelled towards is crazy self. He smiles, "Greetings, from the new member of the Midnight Carnival!" The fans like the sound of that, and their cheers grow louder for the newest Carnie addition. The Canadian Intelligence Agent walks down the ramp way, slapping hands with devoted fans as he does, giving them a thrill for the night. "Buy yourself a Canadian Beer, and get ready to have your eyes opened!" CIA flashes a striking smile as he reaches the ring and rolls under the bottom rope, leaping to his feet and holding his arms outstretched, revealing two Canadian flags dangling from each arm!

 

"This is big match for our newest bumpee..." Stevens begins to say, "But he doesn't seem disturbed the slightest as he comes up against maybe our next World Champion, in Sacred!"

 

Riley nods and replies, "He's just a duck on the pond Mark, on the surface everything seems calm, but underneath in the water, those little legs are kicking a mile a minute. He may seem all happy and smiles right now, but inside, he knows this is a dangerous match for him, and he's worried."

 

As the announcers discuss, Funyon grabs his own mic, clearing his throat, "The following match, is a singles match, and it is scheduled for one fall... Introducing first, from Ontario, Ottawa, Canada! Standing six foot four and weighing two hundred and thirty seven pounds... the Canadian Intelligence Agent, the SWF's newest Carnival member and former Junior League champion... He is... C - I - A!"

 

"Whatever the case may be, this will be a great match, as CIA will try to notch his first WF win after last weeks match went un-televised because Mercury passed out from drunkenness right after the opening tie ups." Stevens says, as the camera stays on him, expecting him to say something like, "Gotcha!" for a very clever joke, but Mark just shrugs and shakes his head.

 

CIA brings the mic to his lips, "Raise your voices up, let the people smile!" He yells to his fans, "'Cause I'm here, and I'm bringing the CANADIAN style!" The fans are overjoyed as CIA hands takes off his jacket and hands it and his mic to a ringside attendant. CIA stands in one corner, pointing up and smiling at his SmarkTron, which shows CIA sneaking around Canadian land marks.

 

"Back in my day, we actually showed our accomplishments in our video's," Riley grumbles as he watches CIA laugh.

 

"Yeah, I always wondered why yours was so short," Stevens replies. Riley stares at his partner, about ready to strike him, as Stevens has a big goofy smile across his face, snickering like a school boy.

 

The fans seem pleased as they watch the incredibly charismatic C - I - A hop around the ring, warming himself up, taking the time to wave to the crowd. Everyone, including CIA, all look around in confusion as the picture suddenly begins to distort, and become fuzzy. Everything turns black and white, as for five seconds the picture is distorted, in the background, Sacred can be seen pulling off his various signature moves...

 

"We've seen this entrance plenty of times before," Stevens comments. "I'm surprised Sacred didn't put himself breaking Axis' leg in his SmarkTron, he seemed so proud..." Mark says grimly.

 

"That's coming next week." Riley replies with a huge smile and thumbs up.

 

The technical difficulties soon pass as the camera located on the ceiling (How appropriate) zooms down on the entrance way. "Save Yourself" by Stabbing Westward kicks up, as the fans rise to their feet to jeer the Australian as he strides out from behind the curtain, his normal determined expression meeting the fans spiteful glares. Sacred completely ignores the crowd as he walks down the ramp way, staring only at CIA, making the Canadian feel just a little uncomfortable, as Funyon makes his introductions over the top of some very rapid and angry fans.

 

"... And his opponent... from Adelaide Australia, standing six foot one, and weighing two hundred and thirty one pounds... he is a member of Creative Control, and number one contender to the SWF World Heavyweight championship... please welcome... SACRED!"

 

The fans welcome Sacred all right, but with a torrent of boos and jeers, showing their resentment for the career killer. Sacred just sighs as he steps up onto the ring apron, and enters the ring, as Funyon exits, leaving the two combatants, and Teddy Long, that sneaky, sniveling referee in the ring to call the match. He points to ring side and the bell rings, "Ding, ding, ding!" The begin the match!

 

"And we're off and running!" Riley yells in anticipation. "Both these men have something to prove, for Sacred, it's to prove he's worthy enough for a shot at Magnifico's world title! and For CIA, it's to chalk up his first SWF win, and maybe propel himself to bigger and better things."

 

"Don't forget Carnie pride!" Stevens chimes in.

 

"Oh Shutup about Carnie pride, I'm sick of hearing about your Carnival..."

 

Stevens chuckles, "Alright, alright, don't get your knickers in a knot, fairy."

 

"And it begins..." Riley replies with a groan.

 

The crowd grows in intensity, as the two men circle each other, trying to figure out where and when to attack. Sacred just decides to hell with it, and unleashes a furious kicking combo,, his first two straight kicks missing CIA, but the third connects, a spinning fly kick to the stomach knocks CIA into a corner. Sacred decides just to hold back, flashing a quick grin as CIA pulls himself out of the corner, wary of Sacred's motives.

 

"The Ausssie has been on a roll lately, and his confidence can only be growing, but right now, he's looking too cocky for my liking." Riley comments. "If he waits too long, CIA will just take advantage and we way see an upset!"

 

They circle each other again, Sacred tries for another spinning kick, but CIA dodges out of the way. He quickly replies with some quick right hands, before whipping Sacred into the ropes. The Carnie swings his outstretched arm for a clothesline, but Sacred ducks it and puts on the breaks, twisting a around and leaping into the air, hitting a jumping calf kick to the back of CIA's head!

 

"He's pulling out some very athletic maneuvers, maybe he's changing his style to suit Magnifico's?" Stevens ponders.

 

"There are a lot of Big men in this league, Mark, and Sacred can't out power them, so maybe he wants to rely on his high flying prowess, which brought him so much success last year." Riley responds.

 

CIA stumbles into the ropes and holds onto them, as Sacred darts forward and wraps his arms around CIA, trying to pull him backwards, but CIA keeps hold of the ropes, and Sacred rolls backwards across the canvas. CIA gives a sigh of relief, but has no time to ponder his next move as Sacred comes charging at him again! This time, the Canadian ducks his head and sends Sacred sailing over the top rope! But alas, Sacred only lands on the ring apron. CIA turns around, only to be smacked in the ribs by Sacred's shoulders. The Australian throws the Canadian's arm over his shoulder and grabs hold of his belt, trying to lift him up with a suplex!

 

"If he nails this, good night CIA!" Riley yells hopefully.

 

The Canadian wraps his foot under the bottom rope, hindering Sacred's efforts. The Australian tries again, but to no avail. CIA counters, lifting Sacred up and over the top rope with a suplex! But Sacred lands on his two feet and wraps his arms around CIA again, this time he manages to pull him to the mat with a rolling clutch pin!

 

O - N - But CIA kicks out much to the crowd's joy! Both men roll onto their feet, Sacred tries for a round house kick, but CIA nimbly ducks and grabs Sacred in a sleeper hold! The Aussie is awake to this though, and rushes backward, crushing CIA into the corner! The Canadian has to catch his breath as Sacred grabs him by the hand and whips him into the opposite corner. Sacred charges with a full head of steam, as the crowd appeal to CIA to move out of the way, but Sacred manages to roll across the ring and nail CIA in the lower and mid section with a rolling wheel kick!

 

"Quite unorthodox by Sacred, but it seems to be working on CIA! I don't know if it's jitters, but CIA needs to fight back some how, and not let the experienced Sacred take control." Stevens says analytically.

 

CIA stumbles out of the corner, as Sacred grabs his arm and pulls him down to the mat, locking on a reverse arm bar. CIA cringes in pain for a few seconds, but then counters, rolling his body across as to flip Sacred on his stomach. The Canadian quickly grabs hold of Sacred's leg and stands back up, putting on a standing leg lock! Sacred is surprised, his eyes wide as pain starts to develop up through his leg, but he manages to throw himself on the bottom rope and stop the submission. Sacred quickly gets back to his feet, trying to get back the feeling to his leg as CIA leaps high into the air, connecting with a Heavy Dropkick to the chest and knocking Sacred over the top rope, and out to the floor!

 

"Ah, this is the CIA I like to see!" Stevens says happily. "The crowd are responding well too, just listen to those chants! A man like CIA feeds off the crowd's energy, it gives him the will to fight on!"

 

"On the other side of the spectrum, Sacred loves to hear the crowd boo, he likes to hear them taunt him, he wants to win spite them!" Riley replies.

 

Sacred coughs as he gets back to his feet, and onto the apron. CIA reaches over the top to grab him, but Sacred counters, grabbing him by the head and pulling his neck down to the top rope! CIA falls to the mat, holding his throat as Sacred gets onto the ring apron, placing his hands on the top rope. CIA slowly gets to his feet, grabbing at his throat as Sacred leaps up onto the top rope and springboards off, dropping kicking CIA in the side of the neck! Sacred lands on his feet, and nods his head approvingly, pleased he hit CIA exactly where he wanted to. CIA rolls onto his feet, but Sacred is right on him to whip him across the ring and into the ropes. The Canadian comes barreling back, but manages to duck a Harlem Side Kick. CIA continues onto the opposite ropes and comes back, not able to duck the Roundhouse kick this time! CIA hits the canvas and Sacred presses is upper body into the mat for a pin.

 

O - N - E!

 

T - But CIA kicks out once again, delighting the fans once more. Sacred grumbles as he grabs CIA by the neck, bringing it back and holding it against his leg as he bridges CIA out, pulling back on his neck, locking on a Dragon Sleeper! The crowd gasp as Sacred smiles maniacally, getting that gleam in his eye that suggests he's enjoying this. The crowd clap in unison, trying to help CIA recover. The Carnie cringes as his neck is pulled on and twisted, but he's starting to twist his body slowly but surely. Sacred tries to keep him still, but CIA works through the pain and twists his body around ninety degrees, so Sacred has him in a front face lock. CIA suddenly grabs Sacred by the waist and flips him over his shoulders with a Bridged Northern Lights Suplex! The crowd cheer as Teddy Long slides across the ring and counts..

 

O - N - E! But Sacred kicks out, and the crowd sigh in disappointment.

 

"We can see already...." Stevens analyses, "That Sacred is focusing on CIA's neck. We know the Cruel Fate's impact practically folds it's opponents Neck up, so maybe he's weakening him for the final, decisive blow."

 

CIA accepts the count and gets back onto his feet, lifting Sacred back up by the waist. CIA holds him close as Sacred reaches back with an elbow with his left arm, but only hitting air. He tries his right, but CIA ducks out of the way. The Canadian finally manages to throws Sacred over his head with a release German Suplex! But Sacred lands on his feet as CIA turns back around. Not waiting for Sacred to come back once agian, CIA charges and gives him a stiff kick to the ribs. CIA backs into the ropes behind him and comes back to Sacred, flipping over the top of him with a Sunset Flip! Sacred manages to hold his ground though, and CIA can't quite pull him down. Sacred suddenly drives his knee down across CIA's neck!

 

"Ohh!" The crowd and the announcers gasp in unison. Stevens says, "Very deliberate, very precise attacks from Sacred. He wants to wear that neck down as much as he can, and nearly all his moves will target that area, even the simplest off knee strikes."

 

"Sacred isn't treating CIA like some rookie anymore, and nor he should..." Riley says, watching the action.

 

Sacred keeps his knee across CIA's neck as he grinds it down into the canvas. Teddy Long comes over and slowly counts, "One! Two! Three! Four!" Sacred keeps grinding on CIA's neck, but Teddy forces him to let go. Sacred glares at the SWF employee, before picking CIA back up and whipping him into a corner. Sacred puts his head down and charges, but the Canadian manages to boot him in the face! Sacred holds his jaw and backs back, as CIA has his turn to charge, kicking Sacred right in the face so hard it echoes through the arena! The crowd "Oooh!" at the sound, as the Secret Agent grabs Sacred in a front face lock, and calling for a DDT! Sacred pushes the Canadian forward into the ropes however, and as he comes back, locks in a sleep hold! Before Sacred can fully lock on the Main Event sleeper, CIA puts his hands on Sacred and lifts him up into the air, falling backwards and slamming Sacred down with a Back drop suplex! CIA clambers over, one hand holding his neck, the other pulling Sacred's leg into the air for a pin.

 

O - N - E

 

T

W - But Sacred shoots a shoulder into the air, breaking the count.

 

"A devastating counter from the Canadian!" Stevens yells "But CIA hurt himself in the process, as you can see as he holds his neck. CIA has to protect his neck from any further attack if he wants to have a chance in this match."

 

"I tell you Mark, at times Sacred may seem a bit loony at times, but when in that ring, he knows exactly what he's doing, and what he has to do to win, and trust me, he’ll want to win at *any* cost!" Riley replies.

 

"That's what I'm afraid of, he has been known to bust open his opponents with a steel chair to get the pinfall, and I'd hate too see CIA suffer the same fate."

 

Sacred rolls onto his feet, slowly after that hard-hitting move. CIA gives him a few kicks to the stomach. CIA works him over with some right hands in the corner, softening him up. The crowd respond wildly as CIA climbs up to the second rope, holding his fist into the air as he prepares to bring it down on an unsuspecting Sacred. The Crowd chant as CIA's punches connect, "One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eigh-" But that's where they stop, as they watches Sacred pull CIA's leg's forward, causing him to fall face first on the top turnbuckle pad!

 

"There, another example of Sacred knowing exactly what to do. Not only did that move stun CIA, did you see the way his neck snapped back as he hit? Almost like whip lash, and that's gotta be painful." Riley says.

 

CIA leans against the turnbuckle's face first, as Sacred composes himself, chuckling to himself as he receives a rowdy reception from the fans, all of them chanting, "Australia sucks! Australia sucks!" Sacred growls as he wipes his mouth, turning back to his opponent and thumping him into the back on the neck with some stiff forearms, taking out his frustrations. Sacred turns CIA around and pulls him into the center of the ring. Sacred lifts CIA up like a body slam, but holds him in the air for a little while, so his head points straight to the ground!

 

"He could be looking for the Juvi Driver! A move like that could well end CIA's hopes for a win!" Riley yells.

 

Sacred seems to take pleasure in watching the fans worried expressions. Those expressions soon to turn to joy as CIA manages to put all his weight down and pull Sacred down to the mat, rolling him onto his shoulders for a small package pin!

 

O - N - E

 

T

W

O - But no! Sacred powers out, and CIA looks at the referee. The Canadian and the crowd in the back ground voice their disapproval at Teddy Long's slow count. Teddy backs away as CIA claps his hand three times, wanting a three count next time. Sacred sees his window of opportunity, as CIA has his back turned. Sacred climbs to his feet and locks CIA in a tight Full Nelson! CIA flays his arms in the air as Sacred holds him, the crowd yelling "No!" as Sacred picks him up and falls backwards, nailing him with a nicely executed Dragon Suplex!

 

"CIA was distracted by that bastard Teddy Long, and Sacred took advantage, hitting a vicious Dragon Suplex!" Stevens says, cringing as CIA cries out, holding his neck, "Ultimo Dragon would have been proud of that execution."

 

Riley replies, "A nervous mistake from CIA, you need to at least treat more respect to Sacred than that, and not turn your back on him for a second, or he'll come right back at you, and the results aren't pretty, as we just saw."

 

Sacred slowly gets to his feet, knowing he can take his time as CIA rolls around on the mat, tending to his neck. Sacred stomps on the injury, once, twice., causing CIA to roll up in a ball. Sacred rolls CIA up into a sitting position, and kicks him in the back of the neck, the shot rings through the audience like a knife edge chop, prompting another "Oooh!" Sacred stomps on CIA a few more times, before deciding to lift him to his feet, whipping him into the ropes. Sacred ducks his head before CIA comes back, and the Canadian telegraphs it, giving Sacred a quick high kick to the face, straightening him out. CIA quickly locks his arms around Sacred and throws him over his head with a Belly to Belly suplex!

 

"Yes!" Stevens yells triumphantly. "I don't know where CIA pulled that from, but it gives him some time to recoup and recover and to re think his strategy."

 

CIA rolls into a corner and tries to help himself up, his hand clutching around his neck, trying to hold it still, as to move it would cause too much pain. Sacred rolls onto his stomach, one hand reaching to grab his back and he works himself onto one knee. CIA gets onto his feet, and pulls himself up to the second turn buckle, waiting for his prey to get up. Sacred finally does so, looking around confused, trying to find his opponent. The Canadian makes his presence felt as he jumps off the turnbuckle, trying for a double Axehandle! Sacred spots him at just the last second, and drives his knee into CIA's rib cage! Sacred senses the end, and puts on a front face lock, signaling for the Cruel Fate!

 

"Two years ago, Angelous went for the Double Axehandle from the second rope, but Sacred caught him and hit the Sacred DDT, now known as the Cruel Fate!" Stevens says, recounting some history. "Sacred nailed it, winning his first SJL match! Will it win him the match right here, right now!?"

 

Riley just sits there, flabbergasted, "H - How the hell did you remember that!?"

 

"It's common knowledge you know." Riley just stares blankly at his commentary cohort.

 

Sacred lifts CIA's left arm, ready for the Cruel Fate! But CIA responds, driving his knee's into Sacred's ribs, getting some revenge! Sacred is forced to let go, as CIA quickly grabs him in his own front face lock, and falls backwards, driving his head straight to China with a DDT! The crowd claps and cheer for the courageous CIA as he slumps himself over Sacred for the pin!

 

O - N - E

 

T

W

O!

 

-

 

T

 

H - But Sacred rolls his shoulder off the canvas, breaking the count. CIA just looks despairingly at the ref, wanting a three count badly. CIA doesn't stand on ceremony though, as he rolls Sacred to his feet and puts on a front face lock, hooking one of his arms and lifting him up, nailing him with a Half Nelson Suplex!

 

"CIA didn't have to use his neck for that move, just his arms, and this sets up the Air Canada! Maybe there's a flaw in Sacred's plan after all?" Stevens ponders as he watches CIA point to the top rope excitingly.

 

"I'll give it to the Kooky Canadian, he's been able to whether the storm and hold off Sacred's attacks long enough, so he finally gets the chance to hit his finisher! I admire guts and determination in the ring, and this man has got both! Along with good looks, talent... reminds me of myself when I was in the ring..."

 

"Except he doesn't act like such a flaming fruit." Stevens says with a laugh. Riley responds with a quick backhand on Steven and a scornful look.

 

The Canadian steps through the ropes, and makes the slow journey up the turnbuckles, holding his neck as he does so as it's still in quite a lot of pain. The fans excitement grows as CIA nears the top, finally reaching the summit, and looking down on his dazed opponent. CIA waves a pretend Canadian flag in the air before leaping off backwards, flying through the air with a Moonsault. At the last second, he twists himself around, coming down towards Sacred with a Randy Savage elbow drop!

 

"CIA is so close to a massive upset here!" Stevens yells.

 

"I thought he could pull it off, but I never wanted him to! Damnit!" Riley replies, cursing himself.

 

CIA nears his target, elbow outstretched, ready to connect... until Sacred gets his knees up, catching the Canadian right in the face! CIA hits and bounces up onto his feet, but falls back into the turnbuckle, both hands holding his neck after the impact. Sacred gets a second wind almost as he whirls back onto his feet. Sacred hits a forearm blow, followed by another, before pulling CIA into the center of the ring and attempting an Irish whip. CIA reverses it and Sacred heads towards the ropes. CIA tries a desperate Dropkick as Sacred bounces back from the ropes, but Sacred holds onto the ropes! The Canadian falls to the canvas in a sitting position, as Sacred turns around and kicks him right in the face with a spinning round house! CIA gets onto his feet, knowing he can't stay down or Sacred will pin him for sure. He stumbles around the ring, holding his neck tighter after each move performed on it. Sacred, like a Great White Shark, smells blood, and attacks the source, charging at CIA...

 

Stevens yells, "Sacred countered the Air Canada! That may have been CIA's last hop- Wait! Wait!"

 

CIA ducks out of the way and trips Sacred to the mat with a drop toehold! CIA keeps the hold applied as he slowly lifts Sacred back up, grabbing him by the back of the head. The crowd's noise begins to grow louder as they slowly realize that CIA is pulling Sacred up for the Via Rail!

 

"He couldn't hit one finisher, so he'll try another!" Riley cries.

 

CIA puts his ankle around Sacred's and holds his arm out, ready to hit the stroke, but Sacred grabs hold of CIA's neck and wrenches at it! The two tussle, CIA trying to slam Sacred down face first, but Sacred holds him in the place, putting on a variation of a choke hold! CIA turns red as his energy begins to fade, and the crowd rise up from their seats, shouting "NO!" as Sacred starts to wear the Canadian down. As CIA leans forward, about to slump to the mat, but Sacred quickly wheels around, puts his arm around CIA's neck and falls forward, hitting the Cruel Fate! The crowd are in an uproar as Sacred hooks CIA by the leg and Teddy Long slides over and counts!

 

"O - N - E"

 

"T"

"W"

"O"

 

-

 

"T"

 

"H"

 

"R"

 

"E"

 

"E!" Yes, Sacred scores the pinfall! The fans start booing almost instantaneously as Teddy raises Sacred's arm into the air, and Funyon gets back on them mic.

 

"The winner of this match... SACRED!"

 

"The pressure of CIA's neck paid off in the end, as Sacred manages to halt CIA in his tracks as he went for the Via Rail, and then put the nail in the coffin with the Cruel Fate on his back neck!" Stevens yells.

 

"Great, great match here Mark, CIA gave Sacred a run for his money, and I know this Carnie will go places!"

 

"He'll be going to the hospital is Sacred is going o do what I think he's going to do..."

 

Sacred huffs and puffs as he slides out of the ring, and pushes away one of the ring side attendants, slamming a chair shut and sliding back into the ring, as the fans at ringside try and grab him, but he slinks away, bringing the chair into the ring! They roar in protest, but Teddy Long just nods at Sacred, and leaves the ring!

 

"What the hell!" Stevens yells, "He's supposed to stop the carnage! Why the hell is he leaving!?"

 

"Simple, Mark..."Riley replies. "Teddy Long is an employee of the SWF, and gets his orders from Stubby, who has close ties with Creative Control! They have him on a leash!"

 

"This jus isn't right! We can't have a repeat of Genesis III, with Axis or even... Raynor..." Stevens says somberly.

 

Sacred gets to his feet, letting the chair dangle in his finger tips as he watches CIA struggle to get up, his neck burning with pain. Sacred just stands there, emotionless as the Canadian gets to his feet. Sacred clutches the chair in both hands and...

 

*CRACK!*

 

"Holy shit!" Is all Riley can cry.

 

CIA goes down as the steel chair crashes on top of his head, and the fans yell in vain, wanting the carnage to stop. Sacred just smiles, as tears roll down his cheek, as he whispers to CIA, "This might hurt a little..." Sacred raises the chair once again, as the fans suddenly begin to cheer, as down the ramp way! He jumps onto the apron, and then nimbly leaps to the top rope. Sacred wonders what all the cheering is about, and he turns around, chair still in hand...

 

*CRACK!*

 

Magnifico flies off the turnbuckles and missile dropkicks the chair into Sacred's face!

 

"Magnifico has come to save his new Carnie buddy! If anyone said that the Carnival were dead, they were wrong!" Stevens cries happily.

 

The steel chair flies out of the ring as Sacred rolls away, putting a hand to his nose and growling as he looks at the blood on his finger tips. He prepares to slide back into the ring, but decides not too! Magnifico shouts at Sacred, telling him to go, and so do the fans, as they cheer for Magnifico! Sacred stumbles back up the ramp, looking back at Magnifico and just giving him a scornful look, as Magnifico just smiles, knowing he got the best of his rival. Mag turns around and helps CIA to his feet, checking too see if he's ok.

 

"What unity! And what’s more, Magnifico has gone one up on Sacred! I don't think Sacred wasn't expecting Mag to interfere, but he did! And I'm glad he did or CIA could have been in for a world of hurt." Mark says.

 

"These two are going to tangle some time soon, I know it, but for now, this is Bobby Riley and Mark Stevens, signing off for another Smarkdown!"

 

The show closes, the camera switching between the champion, Magnifico, and the challenger, Sacred as he vows revenge...

[Guest BA_Baracus]

HARCORE TITLE MATCH

Ced Ordonez © vs. Frost

- ...and thus ends Ced's mighty title reign.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Thoth vs. Mak Francis

- Mak knows how to work "SWF style" so I he got the win here.

 

SINGLES MATCH

“TNT” Taylor Nicholas Thompson vs. Ash Ketchum

- Ash finally gets a win over the flying car duo!

 

NO-DQ SINGLES MATCH

Annie Eclectic vs. Tod deKindes

- Tod leads the series 1 - 0.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Sacred vs. CIA

- Damn bookers always holding Canadians down...wait, I'm the booker. Hmmm...