Secret Agent 0 Report post Posted October 28, 2002 Well damn Wildchild you just cut loose, didn't you? Anyways i know my match was chalk full of grammer and spelling errors since i forgot to ever sit back and read the whole thing before sending it in. This match ended up being about 6000 words before i had to edit it down to fit the requirements, so i felt i lost a lot in the "Editing stage". Espically the ending. Anyways coments and bashing is appreaciated. ___________________________________ As SJL Wrath returns to the airwaves the cameras immediately cut to the chase and focus right in on the commentator’s table, featuring Axis and the Suicide King. Today Axis is dressed in a Houston Texan’s T-shirt while the Suicide King remains in his traditional non-ass kissing attire. Behind them a couple of young hooligan’s wave their arms about, make faces to the camera, and motion like they were humping the back of the Suicide King’s head. “Welcome back fans, lets dive right into some more action-packed SJL Wrath shall we?” Says Axis, opening with his traditional spiel. “This next match is going to be one hell of an event! As you can probably see, the outside of the ring is lined with a multitude of folding tables so you can take a stab on what’s going to happen next.” “A table match?” King throws out his own speculation. “Not just any ordinary table match, King. A Three Way Tables Elimination Match, featuring non other than Christian Fury, Wildchild, and Johnny Dangerous!” “Damn it to Hell!” Shouts the Suicide King as he turns his head and catches the morons behind him making their despicable notions! “I told you ass wipes once before, to cut that shit out! Keep it up and I’ll put the whole lot of you through some tables!” The two teens immediately sit back down into their seats, with a shocking look of fear stretched across their faces as the Suicide King growls accompanied with a stare that would frighten anyone in their right mind! “Now, where was I?” He ask as he takes his seat. “Three Way Tables Elimination Match.” Axis responds. “But this time to eliminate an opponent you have to actually put your opponent through the table! No more dodging aerial attacks or anything! “Right, Like I was about to say before I was so rudely interrupted this is going to suck. You put three men who got their asses kicked on Metal in a blender, mix them up and what do you get? Three men who are going to get their asses kicked tonight on Wrath! This match servers no purpose what so other, except to see who can become a winner in the losers match.” “I think your underestimating the group, King. I mean Johnny Dangerous and Wildchild were both cheated out of victories, and Christian Fury…well that match speaks for itself. At any rate I say we crank up the music and get this party started!” The arena lights darken and System of a Downs “Aerials” begins to softly filter over the near full capacity crowd. Slowly the music begins to build to a crescendo causing the fans to become more and more excited, then out of absolutely no where- BOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!! A sudden explosion of pyrotechnics almost rips the entire stage from its cheap foundation, and along with the music hitting it’s peak, rocks the crowds straight out of their seats and into a standing ovation as Christian Fury emerges from behind the curtain armed with his trademarked Kendo stick! Standing inside the ring, Funyon draws his microphone to his lips ready to dish out the usual introductions. “Entering first in this Three Way Tables Elimination Match. From Cleveland, Ohio and weighing in at two hundred and twenty seven pounds…CHRISTIAAAAAN FURY!!” “Christian Fury, the man who absolutely shredded Johnny Dangerous in his return match to the SJL is here and these fans are loving every second of it!” Says Axis who is marking just as bad as any member of the audience. “Jesus Christ, Axis! Why don’t you just go take a seat over in the nosebleeds. You would blend in perfectly with the rest of these dolts who cheer for this arrogant piece of trash!” “Why do I have to sit in nosebleeds?” “Because everything else is sold out, numbskull!” Fury enters the ring and disposes of his suave leather jacket and shades as “The Everlasting Gaze” a tune by the Smashing Pumpkins kicks in and the crowds once again let out a tremendous cheer! With his face painted in strokes of black, blue, and yellow the Wildchild leaps from behind the curtains with his arms raised high! The Islander darts towards the ring, slapping some high fives on his way and then slides in under the bottom rope where Christian Fury is already patiently waiting. “Entering second in this match, he comes from the sunny Bahamas and weighs in at two hundred and seventeen pounds! He is the WILLLLLLDCILLLLDD!!” “This bare foot Bahamas Circus freak just makes me sick!” Says the Suicide King. “Did he not listen to Ejiro Fasaki’s state of the locker room address? He had quite a few excellent points, but by the looks of it I would assume that Wildchild’s ears are so full of wax that he can’t hear right or he simply failed to acknowledge any of Ejiro’s helpful tips!” “Helpful?” Ask an astonished Axis. “How is that helpful? Nobody asked Ejiro for his opinion, which were very asinine to begin with! I mean since when did Ejiro become such an expert? Just look at his record, if anything he needs to be taking lessons from somebody!” “You mean like..” “Johnny Dangerous!” A female voice cuts in from the arenas massive sound system seemingly as if on cue. “Ha-Ha!” Laughs Axis almost falling over in his chair. “Talk about perfect timing!” “No way in hell is THAT what I was going to say!” Barks the Suicide King as he crosses his arms in the most scowling of mannerisms. The fans erupt in a mountain of cheers upon hearing his name, which is followed by Limp Bizkit’s rendition of the theme to “Mission Impossible 2” as Johnny Dangerous himself steps out front and center! “Entering third in this match up, he hails from Las Vegas, Nevada and weighs in at two hundred and five pounds…JOHNNNNNNY DANGEROUUUSS!!” “Johnny Dangerous was dealt with a devastating blow on Metal at the hands of Jack the Ripper. After such a vicious attack only a few days ago, one could question whether or not Johnny will be able to compete at one hundred percent tonight!” “That’s a pretty good question, Axis.” Says the Suicide King. “It’s a well known fact that Johnny Dangerous stinks up the entire joint when he’s at his best, so how much will he suck tonight? I predict him to last four or five minutes before taking a plunge through one of them tables!” “It looks like Referee Sexton Hardcastle is about ready to signal for the bell, so I guess we will find out how long he and everyone else will last.” DING! DING! DING! As the last ding of the bell rings out the three competitors step out from their corners, ready for this dance to begin. Each man takes turns making quick glances towards the other, trying to keep their guard up incase another tries to blindside them. Finally Johnny Dangerous steps closer towards Wildchild, holding his arms out for a tie up and wiggling his fingers in either anxiety or anticipation for the eventual first encounter. Suddenly, Fury swoops in and sails his fist into Dangerous’ chin, catching the spy completely off guard then quickly spins with a right hook into Wildchild! The Islander fires back with a left hook but Fury tosses his forearm up to block the blow and chunks another knuckle sandwich into Wildchild’s mouth, almost dropping him to one knee! Fury draws his arm back for another blow when Johnny locks his arms around Christian’s waist and lifts him up for a quick Belly to Back suplex! *WHAM!* “What a way to kick this match off!” Shouts Axis! “If they keep this rate up we are in for one hell of a wild ride!” Wildchild and Johnny both reach out and grab one of Fury’s arms, pulling him to his feet and quickly whipping him to the ropes! The duo stands ready to deliver a double team move of mega proportions when Christian springs off the ropes and comes roaring back to them, but NO! Fury swings out his mighty arms and rams them directly into Wildchild’s and Johnny’s throats for a vicious double clothesline! Johnny jumps back to his feet and makes no hesitation to rush back into Christian Fury, but much to his dismay receives another chop to the neck that floors him instantaneously! Fury spins around just in the nick of time to catch the Islander charging at him like a mad bull! Fury quickly side-steps the “Ragin Cajun” and throws out his arm once again, slicing it across Wildchild’s neck and firmly planting him into the mat! “A clothesline followed by a clothesline followed by ANOTHER clothesline! Good grief, Someone must have just lit a fire up under Christian Fury cause this man is ON FIRE!” “Are you insinuating that he is Flaming, Axis?” Ask the Suicide King with quite the sarcastic tone detected in his voice. Dangerous weakly gets back to his feet and stumbles in closer to Fury, who grabs onto his arm and whips him towards the corner turnbuckle! WHAM! Johnny slams into the turnbuckle with such force that you can almost hear the sounds of his bones crunching up against the metal, eliciting a “OOOHHH!” from the crowds! The Spy stammers out of the corner just as Fury rushes in at the speed of lighting and drives his shoulder deep into Dangerous’ chest with a- “GORE! GORE! GORE!” “What the heck?” Axis looks towards the Suicide King with quite the questioning look. “I’ve always wanted to do that!” He replies. With both men down for at least a few seconds, Fury slides out of the ring and grabs the first table he can see. The crowds let out a mighty cheer of approval as Fury sets the table up directly below the ring, then hops up to the ring apron and steps back into the ring ready to put some sorry excuse for a wrestler through the table! Out of nowhere Fury is met with a right hook to the jaw, dished out by the one and only Wildchild! CRACK! Caught by total surprise, the blow almost floors Christian Fury but the former Clansman waste no time striking back, lashing out with a series of punches strong enough to seriously dent Wildchild’s skull! “There is absolutely no way to put a stop to Christian Fury, he is treating both of his opponents like a couple of rag dolls!” “I’m just glad Johnny Dangerous hasn’t gotten up from that Gore yet!” Adds the Suicide King. “As Christian Fury…He can be stopped but it will take a lot more than these two clowns!” Wildchild reels from the blows dished out to him, leaving himself as wide open as a fifth avenue whore when Fury locks onto his arm and powerfully whips him into the turnbuckles! CRACK!! Wildchild’s back nails the turnbuckle with a sickening crunch, causing him to cry out in pain! Christian ducks down for a moment watching his prey before charging in for the kill! “Here comes another Gore!” The Suicide King calls the move in anticipation, watching as Fury hurdles his body towards Wildchild with his shoulder leading the charge! NO! THE SECOND FURY LEAPS FROM THE MAT WILDCHILD GRABS ONTO THE ROPES ON BOTH SIDES AND FLIPS HIMSELF UP TO THE TOP OF THE TURNBUCKLE, PULLING HIMSELF OUT OF HARMS WAY AND PUTTING FURY…CLLLLAAANNNGGGGG!!!!! Right into the steel post!! “Wildchild just narrowly avoids a Gore from Christian Fury! I just pray that Christian didn’t separate his shoulder on that impact!” Fury lets out a horrifying cry of pain as he unravels himself from the post holding his shoulder in sheer agony! Wildchild suddenly leaps from the top at the injured Fury, flipping in mid air before planting his feet into Fury’s chest with a vicious dropkick! WHAM!! “Shooting Star Dropkick by Wildchild and these fans come alive!” Says Axis. “Jesus Christ!” Says the Suicide King. “Is Johnny Dangerous really that much of a weakling? He is still out from that Gore!” With Fury arguably out cold, Wildchild slips out of the ring and grabs a table! Eight seconds later he has a table back inside the ring, and set up for the demise of Christian Fury! Wildchild pulls Fury to his feet by his chin, and drops a quick fist into his temple just to keep him subdued which ends up knocking him onto the table! The fans let out a joyous cheer as the Islander dashes to the nearest turnbuckle and mounts the top with ease! He begins to stand amongst a building fan base behind him and takes a deep breath before making the leap of doom onto Christian Fury. “THIS IS IT!” Shouts Axis, almost blasting the Suicide King straight out of his chair! “WILDCHILD IS ABOUT TO COMPLETELY ELIMINATE CHRISTIAN FURY!” Wildchild hesitates for a moment but with the fans cheering him on, he pushes all fears aside. The Islander stretches his arms out to his side taking one last deep breath than back flips himself off the top of the turnbuckle, and begins to fall straight over the unsuspecting Christian Fury! The fans hold their breath as they watch Wildchild… ….slowly… …falling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . NO! WITH JUST INCHES TO SPARE CHRISTIAN FURY QUICKLY THROWS HIS BODY OFF THE TABLE LEAVING IT WIDE OPEN FOR WILDCHILD TO PLUNGE STRAIGHT THROUGH THE CORE OF IT!!!! CCCRRAAAASSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! “GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!!” Absolutely surprised by what he has just witnessed, Axis’ mouth almost drops completely down to the floor! “WILDCHILD HAS BEEN COMPLETELY TORN IN HALF! Look, King I think that’s the bottom half of his body over by the ropes!” “No, that’s just Johnny Dangerous.” “Oh right. Any who, Christian Fury escaped that by the very SKIN OF HIS TEETH!!” “Well at any rate, Wildchild gets eliminated with some sort of finesse.” The Suicide King assumes. “Wrong, King. In this table match you have to actually be put through the table by an opponent! Dodging an attack isn’t enough here, but it definitely gives Christian Fury an edge over Wildchild!” Back inside the ring and in the pile of rubbish that was once a solid Formica table, Wildchild lies seemingly unconscious. Over in the far corner, Johnny Dangerous looks on with a surprised look at the wreckage like it were some kind of devastating car wreck! He doesn’t really want to look but for some reason he just has to! Fury on the other hand finally starts pulling himself together, pushing aside the pain that is so dormant in his body as the thought of victory running rampant through his mind request…NO…it DEMANDS him to go on! AND SO HE DOES! Fury stands to his feet and stumbles over to the wreckage, reaching his arm into it he grabs hold of what he would assume to be Wildchild’s corpse and PULLS him to his feet! The crowds gasp in horror when they see the first sight of the Islander since his plunge of doom, and notice that a deep gash in his forehead is oozing from the seems with blood! “Oh S*BEEP*T!” Says Axis as he sees Wildchild’s face. “They better hurry up and eliminate Wildchild now! I fear for their safety if he comes too and sees his own blood!” “Oh he had better!” Adds the Suicide King! “The best thing about Wildchild is these berserker furies he launches into!” “GRAB ANOTHER TABLE!” Christian barks at Johnny, who hesitates at first but then slides out of the ring and grabs yet another table. After a few seconds Johnny has the table in the ring, all nice and set up. The only thing it lacks is a frilly white tablecloth and it would be good enough for King’s to dine on! “Except for me.” Replies the Suicide King. “I don’t eat off nothing that don’t have solid oak involved!” AHEM! Like we were saying before being so rudely interrupted… “Hey! F*BEEP*k you, dipwad! I’ll knock them beady eyes into the back of your skull!” Anyway, Back in the ring the table is set up and with a fist full of Wildchild’s locks Christian Fury walks the Islander over towards the table. Johnny seems to read Fury’s mind as he grabs hold of Wildchild’s legs and hoist him into the air while the master of the Kendo stick holds onto his back. The two prepare to forcefully slam the Bahamas native through the table, but Wildchild awakens just before they can make their move and instantly he is enraged as his blood stream across his face! WILDCHILD KICKS HIS FEET OUT FROM JOHNNY’S HANDS AND CLASP THEM AROUND THE SPY’S NECK!! FLIPING HIS BODY OVER IN MID AIR HE SENDS JOHNNY ON A FLAT SPIN WITH THE MAT AND AT THE SAME TIME LOCKS HIS ARM AROUND THE BACK OF FURY’S HEAD AND ONE QUICK FALLING DDT LATER, FURY’S SKULL IS IMPLANTED INTO THE MAT!! WHAM!!! “He’s Alive!” Axis shouts with glee! “What a reversal! Oh my god, I don’t even know if I can explain that! Wildchild just gave Johnny Dangerous a rather quick however lethal ranna and at the same time converted that into a DDT on Christian Fury! OH MY GAWD! They must have been holding Wildchild a good thirty feet in the air when he pulled that off, and pulled Fury with him straight to the mat!!” “Finally! I think Wildchild is about to LOOSE IT! HE IS STEAMING MAD! HE IS GONNA LOSE IT! HES GONNA LOOSE IT! BY GOD, HES GONNA GO BERSERK AND PART THE RED SEA!!…………….FOR THE SECOND TIME IN HISTORY!!” Wildchild wipes his hand across his forehead and stares into his open hand, but seeing the blood only begins the inevitable. The Wildchild spins around and immediately locks a stare that could kill on both Johnny Dangerous and Christian Fury! The latter two begin picking themselves off the mat, rubbing their heads and all around not quite sure of what just happened. When the Islander comes charging in, they realize they would be better off leaving the questioning to journalist and just stick their dukes up and pray that they can fend this challenger off! “RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!” Shouts Axis to no avail! Johnny swings his fist out but the enraged Wildchild swiftly slaps his arm down and slings his own fist into the Super Spy, knocking him directly to the mat! WHAP! He turns to face Fury, quickly ducking a punch and sinks his foot into the back of Christian’s knee to drop the former Clansman down to his knees! Wildchild darts for the far ropes and bounces off them like they were a tightly wound rubber band, propelling him at top speed just before he lunges his body through the air with his elbow leading the way into Fury’s skull! WHAM!! Johnny dashes towards Wildchild hoping to catch him off guard, but this is one of the few times you will ever catch the Islander off guard! Like some kind of sixth sense, Wildchild feels Dangerous approaching and rushes for the ropes, leaps up to the second rope, bounces off it and plants a firm drop kick into Johnny’s chest! CRACK!! Suddenly Wildchild stops as he takes a quick survey of the ring amongst a crowd that is cheering so loud that you could almost feel the roof of the arena about to blow! “YES!” The Suicide King pumps his fist into the air with excitement! “This is the kind of carnage I was talking about! Underneath all that clown get up is a man filled with a thirst for vengeance, and to think I wanted to see his neck get broke!” “Umm…I’m not sure which way to take that, but either way the Wildchild has completely destroyed both men in this ring! This has definitely turned into his night!” Once again Christian Fury begins to drag himself to his feet, fighting back all sources off pain to stand tall against Wildchild and send out the signal that HE WILL NOT FALL! Fury locks his hands together just as Wildchild approaches and with all the strength he can possibly muster tries for a spinning double backfist! Still running high on adrenaline, the Islander drops down to narrowly avoid the atomic blast and jumps back up to grab hold of Fury’s face and drop it into his knee! SMASH!! Fury’s head bounces off of Wildchild’s kneecap like a basketball, stunning him from here to the next oblivion as Wildchild grabs onto the former Clansman’s red locks and runs him to the ropes! “NO! He’s going to eject Christian Fury straight out of the ring! Watch out Christian there’s a table right below you!” With all his might, Wildchild slings Christian Fury right over the top rope but NO!!!! JUST AS THE WORLD WAS PREPARED TO PLAY TAPS FOR CHRISTIAN FURY, HE HOOKS HIS ARM ONTO THE TOP ROPE AND LANDS PERFECTLY ON THE RING APRON! Fury looks down and sees that the table is directly below him, taking a deep breath he sighs a sigh of relief, realizing how close he had just come to falling into the table’s evil clutches! He can hear the table crying out to be fed, but “not today” he thinks to himself! Christian turns his focus back to the ring just as Wildchild jumps up to the second rope and dives over the top rope! HOOKING HIS ARM AROUND FURY’S NECK, WILDCHILD PULLS OFF THE MOST VISUALLY STUNNING TORNADO DDT EVER IN HIS CAREER AND PULLS FURY RIGHT OFF THE APRON AND DRIVES HIM DIRECTLY THROUGH THE HEART OF THE TABLE BELOW!! CCccCCrrRRrrAAAaAASSSSSsSShHHhhHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As the very fibers of the entire table are shredded to oblivion the crowd lunges into a HUGE CHEER as well as chants of- “HO-LY SHIT!” “HO-LY SHIT!” “HO-LY SHIT!” “OH MY GOD!” Axis lunges from his seat in sheer terror with his eyes almost bugging from his sockets! “Wildchild just put Christian Fury face first through that table with a Tornado DDT!! THE MAYHEM!!! I THINK WE ARE GOING TO NEED SOME EMT’S OUT HERE QUICK! STOP THE MATCH! THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR!” “SIT YOURSELF DOWN!” The Suicide King growls! “This match is not stopping until I see that dreadful spy go headfirst through a table! Not you or anybody else is going to ruin my fun, or the enjoyment these people here are seeing!” “This is just unbelievable!” Axis carries on looking almost as if he could cry at any moment now! “Christian Fury has just been eliminated! This brings it down to Johnny Dangerous and the Wildchild, but I’m not sure if Wildchild can put his body through much more!” Finally back to his feet after a quick yoga session to replenish his soul, Johnny Dangerous leaps from the ring and begins setting up one more table! After a few moments of fumbling with this one table in dire need of some WD-40, Johnny has it set! Hoping to capitalize on Wildchild’s injuries, Dangerous makes haste to pull the Islander from the floor and rolls him on top of the table. “It looks like Johnny Dangerous is going to take advantage of the situation here!” Notes Axis! “After all Wildchild has gone through, I don’t think he could even THINK about, let alone stop Johnny Dangerous!” He slides back into the ring and takes flight to the turnbuckle, ascending it with finesse and prepares himself to take an Olympic Gold Medal winning swan dive into Wildchild! Suddenly the crowds let out another huge roar of boos and hisses, and when Johnny looks up he catches first glimpse of Jack the Ripper storming down the ramp like a madman! “Oh no, not him now!” Axis sighs in disappointment. Jack slides into the ring and makes a beeline for Dangerous just as the Spy hurdles himself from the turnbuckle! NO! Just as Johnny is a mere inch from tackling Jack with a cross body, the Ripper sinks a drop kick into Dangerous’ gut! WHAM! The crowds let out another “OOHH!” when they see Johnny take the blow, but Jack doesn’t stop there! Oh no! Not by a long shot! The Ripper drives his foot into Johnny’s spine causing Johnny to yelp in pain as he tries to shield himself from any more blows to his back, but the Ripper turns his attention on the Spy’s head! CRACK! “This is horrible! It looked like Johnny Dangerous was just moments from stealing a victory out of this, but Jack just put a stop to that!” Jack drags Johnny to his feet, then flings him with all his might towards the ropes! Johnny bounces back like a runaway train and falls right into Jack’s evil clutches as the Ripper himself locks his arms around Dangerous’ waist and forcefully flips him- “OVER THE TOP ROPE!” JOHNNY SAILS RIGHT OVER THE TOP AND FALLS RIGHT ON TO WILDCHILD, SENDING BOTH MEN THROUGH THE TABLE! CRASSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! “NOO!” Axis shouts as he leaps from his seat in pure disbelief! “Jack just flipped Johnny Dangerous right over the top rope, and into Wildchild! DING! DING! DING! “And it looks like the referee is going to call it!” *Blarg I don't know what happened to the final coments and what not, i guess i forgot to save it. Oh well it was only about 30 more words or so.* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mr. Slim Citrus Report post Posted October 28, 2002 I am not worthy... I'd love to see the unabridged version... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
