SWF DISSENTION COMMENTS

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

Three-Time Champion~!

Magnifico towers Rane~!

 

...reading...

[Guest redbaron51]

I no-showed, if i showed, my reputation (or whatever i have) would had been ruined.

 

MOTN goes to Thoth and Ced and ELM, for their matches.

 

Also stash the ash match was well done.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"Here's the end of Flesher's match. Laziness and lateness prevent me from editing it into the show.

 

"Come on, Mak. Shake my hand. I beat you like a drum tonight, Francis... the least you can do is admit it. There's no shame in being beaten by a master... none, that is, unless you're too stupid to admit it. Now shake my hand and have a story for your grandchildren."

 

Suddenly, "Little Mac's Confession" begins to play over the loudspeaker, and Thoth steps through the curtain with a mic of his own! The fans pop for Thoth, and Flesher turns around, looking angry.

 

"Durandal, Durandal, Durandal...." begins Thoth. "I never thought I'd see you like this again. So angry, so hungry for respect from all the wrong places. Tell me, oh Broken Sword... why are you bullying Mak? Are you afraid that he's going to step up and take over the Magnificent Seven? Or... should I say, the Magnificent Four?"

 

"Hey!" says Riley. "He's not counting Fauntleroy and... um..."

 

"The horse is dead, Bobby."

 

Rileys sighs sadly. "I know."

 

Francis stands up, walking over to Flesher. The Balancer continues, "Listen, Durandal... as we've established, I brought you here, and I can take you out. Call me an old man when I'm two years older than you. Fine. Tell me to go back to Japan. Fine. But remember- I can hit you where it hurts, whether it's in the ring... or..."

 

With that, Mak Francis shoves Flesher out of the way and slides out of the ring. He begins walking up the ramp, and as Flesher progressively turns redder and redder, Thoth walks down the ramp and meets him halfway. The former leader of the Clan extends his right hand, and slowly, Mak Francis reaches out and clasps it.

 

"You," says Mak, looking at the Balancer... "You, I respect."

 

With that, the fans go absolutely crazy, cheering for Mak and Thoth as they walk back up the ramp together. Flesher's jaw drops, and he simply stands in the center of the ring, dumbfounded and angry, as the picture fades out.

 

Mothernature says..."

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

.....WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

 

1) First lemme say I'm rather happy how the series turned out. Or am I? DUN DUN DUN!!!.... I got nothing really...

 

2) JD & Bo trying to play DDR = GOLD. "This one's called 'Blow my whistle, Bitch!'" ...my god....

 

3) ELM wins? IS a feud a-brewing here? Congrats to ELM for the huge win.

 

4) Frost v. Ash.... Ash, I know you're a former 2-time HC champ, but I had you pegged underdog here. I'm shocked, and well... wow. Congrats. I really really didn't think Frost would lose. -UPSET WIN OTY-

 

5) Reading the ending to Taamo's match.... is Mak out of the Mag7? Guh..... but..... WE STILL GOT THE ICTV CHAMPS BE-HOTCH.

 

6) CIA's match was......... short.

 

 

that's all for now

 

-Annie

[Guest El Luchadore Magnifico]

Fwah!

 

Man, a lot of short matches on this show. Regardless, there was a distinct lack of double no-show, which is always a good sign.

 

Great work from Ash on "Stash the Ash", even if you did get Columbus COMPLETELY wrong.

 

Very nice match from Flesher, with a terrific angle to cap it off post-match.

 

Yes, the JD and Bo playing DDR promo was funny as hell. They picked a good song, too...

 

I won, wheee!

[Guest HVilleThugg]

Goddammit....

 

Now ELM is 3-time world champion! What has this world come to??

 

Hey...is that a pig...flying??

 

Next thing you know, Sacred will become a 3 time world champion or something. What the fuck happened to our usually very durable glass ceiling?

 

Calling all Kliq members...we're slacking...the glass ceiling needs repair!

 

Da "pleasantly appauled" H

[Guest Thoth]

Well, come and repair it then. Onto the PPV:

 

I knew Sacred no-showed, but a very good match from ELM, becoming the first 3-time champ since Rane.

 

Helluva long match between Frost and Ash and... *GASP* I enjoyed it. I never thought I'd say that.

 

Our match is short... but JD and Bo try to do DDR!

 

And CIA... wins, I guess. I'm not complaining, ours wasn't much longer.

[Guest Tod deKindes]

What, no love for the germanator's tease with the dark side?

[Guest Thoth]

Actually, I was getting to that.

 

I was surprised the series ended 3-1, as opposed to 3-2. Good twist. Also, way to turn to the dark side... almost. Nothing says evil like bloodying a woman. Of course, the Clan did that ages ago.

[Guest Thoth]

And match of the night is easily Tom Flesher versus Mak Francis, IMO, for the use of the amateur. I love the amateur.

[Guest Ace309]

SWF DISSENTION WORKRATE REPORT

featuring the Burning Hammer Pay-Per-View ... Review's own Tom Fleshmussen ("Because There's Really No Synonym For 'Review'")

 

Opening Promo

- No love for the opening promo. I knew I should have written one.

 

Tod deKindes/Sarah Leavenworth Promo

- Nive little bit here. Gives that "Is he evil, or did he just miss a cup of coffee?" vibe.

 

Annie Eclectic Gives Someone A Sheet Of Paper

- OMGZ this promo was existential and classical all at the same time! The angst! The happiness! The rejoicing by peasants~!

 

CIA over Mercury and Xero Via Rail

- Hm... that WAS a match, wasn't it? I'll be damned. CIA: Jobbing people to one move all the way into the new millennium. Nice commentary, though.

 

Tod deKindes Gets A Postcard From Sara

- Continuing in the line of Tod deKindes promos... I'm really liking these. Again, it develops Tod's character and makes him less one-dimensionally broodish.

 

Tod deKindes over Annie Eclectic via cage escape, following a Spirit Breaker

- Loved the opening commercial, particularly the Tux reference in the caffeinated chapstick. Nice little Win-at-all-costs bit with Tod climbing the cage in, which most vividly reminds me of the Ultimate Warrior. I don't know why, exactly.

 

Formula For Failure is a good impact bit. Liked that. Striking. Liked that. Tod trying to bust Annie open. LOVED that. Fit in with the tease to the dark side very well. It's being executed masterfully.

 

Annie countering out of the Sara Sequence was a great sequence which fit the match very well, as did the fans applauding her. Also, the Russian leg sweep and subsequent paralysis references may or may not have been intended to bring up memories of Edwin/Raynor, but they did, so there. Nyah. Cool, in that creepy kind of way. I also liked the dropkick spot a whole lot.

 

Tod punks out Billy Chioda and promos. Yup. Tod's angry and evil, and I like it.

 

Ash Spins The Wheel

- Well, I was really hoping for Window Pain, but hopefully this stip gets handled well.

 

Bemani Cross Wizards over Creative Control via Full Combo

- Let me just reiterate how surreal it is to have a Dance Dance Revolution-themed tag team holding the titles.

 

The opening banter was GOLDEN.

 

Bo and JD doing DDR was GOLDEN.

 

The match was RUSHED.

 

I love the DDR version of Thoth. Thoth dancing and Parting The Horse's Mane on the way to the ring is great. The wrestling action, as noted, was kind of rushed. This seemed to be a Storm match more than anything else, but a main event Storm match nonetheless. Great match for what it should have been, but it could have been better for what it was.

 

And here I stop. I'll pick up with Ash's wedding later on.

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

OH MY GODZ~! 2 3-TIME CHAMPS!

 

 

Feels good to be a champ again.

 

Congrats to everyone on a job well done. For those who won, good job.

 

For those who lost, good try. Keep goin' and don't get discouraged.

 

I know we've got a lot of good writers here, and this proves it. We took pretty much what could've been a fancified Storm and turned it into a ****1/2 PPV.

 

A big congrats is at hand for everyone who was in on this.

 

Oh yeah, and one more thing... GO ME~!

 

*parties*

 

~Ash~

[Guest Suicide King]

I must give kudos out now. Flesher, an excellent match. Ash, an excellent match. ELM, a really, really good match. CIA, a craptastic match. Cemani Bra wizards, a pretty good match. Tod , good job. One of the few matches wherein I could not predict the winner.

 

::hands out kudos::

 

now, more showing by certain people and it's all golden.

[Guest chirs3]

Stash the Ash = Greatest. Match. EVER~!

 

That's all I've read so far, more comments to come.

[Guest Muzz]

Sorry for no showing, but my computer ate the 7000 words I had, and I didn't have the will to write in the four hours I had spare, especially when I needed sleep.

 

I probably won't be around much for the time being.

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

Ok, here are my comments on the last three matches, which I read the most closely because, honestly, they pertain the most to Frost and his future direction. I have scanned the rest of the show and will say that it's nice to see Tod fully realizing one of the complex storylines he was always keen on starting and I hope CIA's win will re-energize his batteries and allow him to start making the type of waves his fellow bumpee Mak have already done.

 

 

Frost vs. Ash

-First off, I was unable to give this match the type of attention and focus it deserved. I was basically rushing through it the night before and day of it was due. Also, as the JL Mall Brawl points out, I seem to dwell too much on getting the “movie quality” of this style of match done, dealing with the chase and getting from point A to point B and not enough on the wrestling itself. Still, if I was able to do all of what I wanted to do with this match effectively, I don’t think it would have helped much. Ash wanted this win more and has a writing style and creativity that fits better to such a stip. To the match, I don’t think printing the lyrics to All My Life was needed; everybody had the song playing in their matches all damn night. The beginning also comes off awkward as the positioning of the wedding and wheel spin seems to have been flipped, but eh. I also don’t get why Riley hates the match so much, it’s a major blow to Ash if he loses and I don’t see his character being that concerned that Ash would win. As champion, I should have come out second, that’s just standard, but it matters little. However, I could also tell where you just copy and pasted from my stats for the intro, which is a little lazy and unprofessional in my book. Popping the cigar with the balloon is a nice touch though. I don’t think a wireless camera is anything new, but I had a hell of a time trying to justify camera placements in my match so I see where you want to set something up with that and establishing Gus was good. I give you props on looking up info on Columbus, like the name of the airport and the Scioto River, as ELM said you play the city a little wrong, more like an older metropolis like New York than a newer one like Atlanta. Ash’s dad is a former WWF World Champion, WTF? You play the beginning pretty much how I did, Ash is flat out running away and Frost is trying to pull him back and hold him fast. The constant count down is a nice touch, is that random or did you try to calculate the time in some manner? I don’t get the cuts back to the locker room, I think emphasizes that it’s a big match, but it seems to break the flow. You could have had them sell some more, but that was a flaw of mine too. Just keeping the guys moving was so important. Having Frost go for a hotdog is so fucking stupid. There’s a difference between going for humor and just doing something so out of character and match context thinking that’s it’s funny. The trick is to work in humorous bits while staying true to a “real” situation. How did Frost get in the limo? You could have played the history between Ash and Frost up more. The stuff with Neilsen just makes no sense, why it there? I don’t think they use Corvette’s for squad cars in Columbus and having Riley point that out doesn’t really help much. I police car is fast in and of itself they have specifically designed interceptor engines in them. I don’t think Ash would call someone a fat asshole. Blowing out the back window with a shotgun was really cool and they say gun angles never play. Your match has mopeds, mine had skateboards and horses. Fighting on the city bus is a genius idea, we fight and move at the same time, and sorry I didn’t think of it. However, building up “how did Ash survive the beating” and not showing how is a bit of a copout. Working up to getting on the plane is really intense. Don’t you think a twenty foot drop to concrete would knock Ash completely out and break something? I also think you misinterpreted the finish. The idea was that Ash had to be on the plane when it left the runway, which was roughly 30 minutes from when the match started. So, if Ash is on the plane after 30 minutes, but it still hasn’t taken off for whatever reason, that doesn’t count, the plane has to be in the air with Ash on it, maybe I didn’t explain that clearly enough. I might sound like I’m nitpicking here, but this was a damn hard match and I think you grasped the big picture much better than I did in handling the pacing and fighting. The only thing I probably beat you on was just keeping some of the logical jumps and such straight, but you certainly whipped my ass good overall.

 

Flesher vs. Mak Francis

-I think the caption would read “Flesher vs. Francis” instead of the informal “Tom vs. Mak.” I think Riley would have sided with Tom as you wrote, but I don’t see Mark going with Francis just as a counterpoint. I think he would have touted Francis to oppose Riley, but not side with him as he would the average face. Although you do play the heel vs. heel dynamic with the crowd very well. The spot with Funyon at the beginning was priceless, but more could have been done to build up Mak’s resoluteness at having the match to push him as the spunky underdog before he asks for the bell to ring. How do we hear what they say to each other in the ring? Is a microphone that close, usually it’s hard to pick up two men talking from dead center of the ring. Overall, you do a great job of getting not only the internal storyline, but also the characters over through actions and, most importantly, solid mat wrestling. I think having Flesher forsake the pinfall for the tap out at the end is the best bit of character work, but I can’t help to think that it might make Mak look a little weak. Having Flesher forsake the submission when he realizes he can’t get it and just pin Francis through his “superior” cunning and experience would be the best way to go. Intertwining Thoth in all this is very interesting and I’m jazzed to see where this is all going. It looks like Mak might be out of the Mag 7, but I’m sure that question will be answered tonight. So, that would then make us the Magnificent 3, guess it’s time to disband and I can finally retire Frost in favor of the Memphis Eel.

 

 

 

 

 

ELM vs. Sacred

-If I didn’t know any better ELM, I’d say you’d been stealing from TNT from that intro, but more likely he probably stole from you. However, “Osmonds” refers to the boys as a whole, the duo of Donnie and Marie were known as “Donnie and Marie” to keep them straight (my secret’s out, I’m really Dick Clark). Nice playing of history throughout the match and in the commentary. Although I think the commentators’ dialogue comes off a little clichéd in spots, like Riley saying Sacred is chopped liver. You could use the dialogue to break up the action more, it seems like a block a dialogue, a block of action and more threading of the two could help your match pacing and tension. I like your matter of fact, clean descriptions, very easy to visualize, but a little more ‘oomph’ could be put into the descriptions. Your writing is so detailed, but that can also come off as a little too clinical at times. I felt the interference at the end was really uncalled for, especially since JD has been pretty much out of action since he fought ELM at the last ppv and using CIA to scare him off was just that, a dues ex machina if you will. The ending other than that was really hot and built well with near fall after fall. I look forward to seeing how things go between us this Friday.