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Anger Management: The Return!

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Guest TSMAdmin

It’s been too long since I’ve done one of these, so I may be a LIL’ BIT rusty…



Okay, it’s pretty much agreed that the Triple H/Kane “feud” is a huge joke, but lately some people(read: WWE workers like Jerry Lawler) seem to think that the reason so many people have bitched is because they were “offended” and that if they claimed to never watch the show again, they should “lighten up and laugh”…



What a fucking load of horseshit.



The REAL reason so many people have complained so vigorously about the angle is because it does the one thing that Vince McMahon and Daddy’s Little Girl have been doing for years now and that’s insult the fans’ intelligence.



A little example, if you well: I went into an AOL chatroom a few days ago(yes, I know, but still…) and some of the seemingly more intelligent chatters brought the faux necrophilia video. Naturally, some said that it sucked and that Vince was an idiot, but then one guy decided that he had to defend the angle by calling everyone who hated it “dumbass smarks” and said “you hate it because the internet tells you to hate it, just like with Triple H”. Of course, we argued about this subject for maybe 20 minutes til it was finally dropped. After the argument was over and no one had convinced the other of anything, the defender said that soap opera angle draw and named quite a few from the recent years, which gave me the idea for this column, so just blame him for me wasting your time on this, ‘kay?



See, what boggles my mind is how Vince, Stephanie, and Brian Gerwitz could actually think this stinker was going to draw as the main storyline on RAW. I mean, if you have to TOTALLY RE-WRITE a character’s history just to make it work, then odds are, it’s not worth it in the first place. Hell, just look at what Kane’s backstory was then and is now…



1997: Kane is the burnt up, scarred for life freak brother of the Undertaker and has been staying in a mental asylum for years until his real father, Paul Bearer, got him out.


2002: 10 years ago, Kane was a shy guy on the indy circuit(just implying) who got hammered one night and accidentally killed a chick he was trying to nail in a car accident.


1999: Kane is a virgin and got his first piece of ass from Tori.


2002: Kane, while inebriated, supposedly violated the corpse of the girl he was riding with.



See, how is the average Joe Sucker supposed to suspend any sort of disbelief when the writers themselves can’t get their heads out of their asses long enough to establish some goddamn continuity? What’s so funny is that they did the EXACT SAME THING to Undertaker 3 years ago where Vince and J.R. were constantly saying that satanic Taker was just “Mark Calloway believing he was his character!”. Like Scott Keith said, “Is he really burnt, or is he just a guy playing a character?”. It has to be one or the other because you can’t have both and expect the fanbase just to swallow it all and ask for more.



Fuck, look at one of the better soap angles they did in 2000, which was the Triple H/Steph/Kurt love triangle. Everything was believable from Steph’s initial liking of Kurt to Kurt’s later on aggressiveness to Trips’ budding jealously. Of course the angle turned into a complete flop later on, but that’s another story. The point is, it was believable, easy to follow, and MADE SENSE. If I were to show the last few RAWs to a friend who didn’t watch wrestling and explain to him what the fuck was going on, I’d be completely lost! Who’s supposed to be the bad guy in this? Hunter for exposing it or Kane for actually admitting to doing it? I know shades of grey made the WWE a few bucks like 2 years ago, but Russo is GONE, dammit. We don’t need or want Crash TV and recent success of Smackdown proves it. Lame shock bullshit doesn’t sell, WRESTLING does.



What’s so sad about this is that Vince and Stephanie consider the angle a success and even Lawler and J.R. are pimping this garbage as if the media actually gives a fuck. A quote that I’ve been seeing a lot lately from people who are just fed up with this crap comes to mind when I think of this: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”. Apparently, the national media has heard the same quote because they haven’t given Vince’s pet project the time of day after getting suckered into that carnie huckster bait-n-switch “wedding” and I say bravo!



The last time I wrote a rant, I was fearing for Vince’s sanity, how ironic is it that the next time I rant on something, that he manages to top the “Kiss My Ass Club” with a storyline that includes 2 things he himself said that the WWE would NEVER do and an added “surprise” that makes the KMA Club look like Austin/McMahon by comparison.



Here’s one final plea: Fire Steph, fire Gerwitz, and PLEASE remove yourself form the company, Vince, because you are killing it more and more as you stay at the helm. Just swallow your pride, don’t listen to your ego, and just go, I beg of you.




Byron Vester

The SmartMarks.com

E-mail me at: [email protected](Just remove the spam-killing x's)

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