Loser thread!

[Guest Insanityman]

The camera jolts back to life, revealing the completely sold out Gund Area. The fans are hyper and the arena overall is packed like sardines. Girlfriends and little kids resort to sitting on laps and the other marks brought signs to hail their favorite superstars. The camera then descends down from the top of the arena showing the JL’s very loyal fans. The best signs get noticed like, “I hate thinking of signs.” And the classic, “WE WANT G0R0!” The camera then settles down right in front of the announcer’s table where America’s two favorite announcers sit in anything but peace.

 

“No! You stop it!” Axis whines, sounding like a first grader.

 

King smirks and then he sees the camera all ready to go.

 

Axis butts in first, “Welcome back! We are obviously back from our exclusive ‘Purist Wrestling’ day, because there is a lack of any type of stipulation on this card!”

 

King decides to chew out one of his peers, “Yes, our commissioner must of taken Munich’s pills… because this card is as exciting as vanilla.” King pauses, “Munich did one hell of a shoot though.”

 

“True, and it’s a shame Danny ‘Deathwish’ Williams isn’t present… he’d be so proud of our show.” Axis adds in. “Which brings us to our next match folks! If you can recall as the Insane Luchador returned on Wrath and is ready for action! Also he’s done with the ‘True Plague’ and is obviously sick of being ‘held down’ or not giving it his all…” Axis reminds the fans.

 

“Not our fault he’s in denial.” King snaps, upsetting at IL’s return.

 

“Well, whether he’s being insane or pretending to be some bubonic plague, Insane Luchador has to face the one and only Wildchild!” Axis rallies up the fans while half cheer for the Luchador and half for the skilled Jamaican.

 

 

“Very true, just like how Matt Myers got lucky as Mike Van Siclen tapped out to Judge Mental. Judge won’t show mercy this time!” King taunts.

 

“I’m rather confident that my good ole’ chap Myers will retain.” Axis argues.

 

Suddenly the lights shut off at one exact time, while Slipknot’s “Wait and Bleed” begins to blare in sync with the lighting. “I felt the hate rise up in me, kneel down and clear the stone of leaves… I want to wander where you can see, inside my shell I wait and bleed!” With that moment one strobe light illuminates the arena briefly on it’s blinking routine. There’s an explosion of red and black pyro that hit the far left and right stage. The lights gradually light up into a soft dim and then the Insane Luchador is seen! The fans all leap on their feet in ecstasy of the returning IL. Cheers explode to the left and right, the whole nation behind Andrew Rickmen. Insane Luchador barges down the ramp at a full burst sprint, slapping all the hands he can reach. Rickmen stops mid-ramp only to pull out a microphone and he joyfully looks around the Gund Area. Clad in his regular attire of the black Orisis skate shoes, khaki cargoes that are rather loose, black long-sleeved shirt that the sleeves go past his palms, and the jet-black hair spiked rather sloppy. Andrew Rickmen then slowly pulls out a microphone from his pocket and he holds for the cheers to die down.

 

“Get security on that mad man and for God’s sake take away the microphone!” King demands.

 

Insane Luchador flips King the bird (as Brian complains and jeers to IL) and Andrew Rickmen gets another pop. He grins and smacks his lips, “Oh God, I’ve been gone for… WAY… TOO… LONG!”

 

“Not our fault the little bugger got lost in Afghanistan!” King yells back and Axis slaps King lightly on the back of the head.

 

“See now that I’ve been around long enough that the Gund Area is nearly my second home… hell even my home.” IL waits for the cheap pops to end, “I hope I can put on another spect-fucking-ular match that IL and Wildchild are capable of!” The fans all cheer for IL’s honest intentions.

 

“And next one of the original feeder leagues psycho… spawned from Easton, Pennsylvania weighing in at 223… IINNNSSAAANNNEEE LLUUUCCHHHADDOOOR!” Funyon’s voice explodes.

 

Insane Luchador then drops the microphone, as it slams the to the ground and makes the annoying sound, and he sprints down to the ring. Andrew Rickmen slides under the ring ropes and nods his head in acknowledgement to Matthew Kivell. The strobe light and music then both fade off.

 

“Before this match kicks off let’s bring back some facts from the past! Insane Luchador has only held the TV title for a short amount of time. He also held the Stables titles that are prestigious as the jobber’s title so onwards we go… right, he’s gained a bloody good amount of weight and that’s about it!” Axis analyzes. “Wildchild has the speed on IL, yet Insane Luchador has more talent in brawling… the two are cruisers so expect a rather speedy match.” Axis concludes, done comparing.

 

Insane Luchador contently bounces on the middle of the ring ropes, impatient for his opponent to arrive. Insane Luchador bounces off the ropes and then leans against the ropes as “The Everlasting Gaze” by Smashing Pumpkins. Wildchild then steps out on stage with the blue and yellow face paint, the black “Olympic style” wrestling tights. He’s taken aback from the amazing amount of cheers for the tan colored, sandy brown eye, and black braid haired Wildchild!

 

“He is your favorite Jamaican that weighs in at 217… he s the WIILLLDDDCHHHIILLDD!” Funyon’s booming voice carries over the fans cheers.

 

 

He fidgets nervously all the way down to the ring and he slowly mounts onto apron where he crawls under the bottom rope. Wildchild springs to his feet and he offers IL his hand in sportsmanship. Andrew Rickmen accepts and Wildchild quips, “After we fight, we gon’ party like Junkanoo!” Andrew laughs and nods. Rickmen cocks his head to the side begging Matthew to make the rules a bit more interesting, but Kivell shakes his head no.

 

DING! DING! DING! The bell chimes and the two foes move towards ringside.

 

Insane Luchador lunges forwards but Wildchild slips behind him, and he grabs IL situating himself and IL. Wildchild lifts the Insane Luchador into the air in high hopes of a backdrop, but Insane Luchador kicks backwards and flips onto his feet. Andrew Rickmen then attempts to arm drag Wildchild over, but WC resists. Wildchild responses with a chop that makes Rickmen’s grip go weak. Andrew Rickmen then throws a nasty palm strike to Wildchild’s chest, Wildchild reels backwards and Andrew lunges forwards. Rickmen tackles Wildchild down to the mat and Andrew sits on Wildchild’s chest while he ambushes his foe with harsh punches. Wildchild’s arms flail behind him and he is barely able to grasp the ropes. Matthew commands Insane Luchador off and IL throws in an extra punch for good measure as he mounts back onto his feet. Wildchild desperately feels his face in search of blood but he only finds broken face paint chips. Wildchild gives a slight nod in respect for the Insane Luchador. The unstable mental, Andrew Rickmen, then throws a punch that misses. Wildchild kicks himself back to his feet as Insane Luchador catches him off guard with a headlock that he squeezes as tight as he can. Wildchild then positions himself and Rickmen in the correct stance and WC shoves the Insane Luchador off and into the ropes.

 

“Very solid action from the two, especially for Andrew Rickmen.” Axis comments.

 

Andrew Rickmen attempts to leap frog over the Jamaican competitor, but Wildchild leaps into the air and connects with a HUGE dropkick that sends Rickmen flying backwards like a machine gun round was shot in his body. His body torques in an odd direction as he slams onto the cold canvas, landing on his side. Wildchild scrambles over and makes the cover,

 

ONE! Luchador’s shoulder flies up, and Rickmen tries to regulate his breathing. Wildchild swears under his breath as he lifts Insane Luchador to his feet via his hair. Luchador sways on his feet but has enough sense to duck under Wildchild’s elbow attempt.

 

“Unlucky there.” King chuckles.

 

Andrew Rickmen then takes Wildchild offer guard with a powerful kick to his kneecap. Wildchild grabs his knee in agony and glances down looking for damage. Andrew then locks in a front face lock and he grabs a handful of Wildchild’s black tights. Rickmen goes for the lift but Wildchild grapevines his leg around IL’s. Insane Luchador growls in anger and he tries again. Wildchild once again throws his leg into IL’s way. Andrew Rickmen sighs aloud and he acts like he’s releasing the hold, and Wildchild puts his guard down, Andrew Rickmen proceeds to suddenly lift him in the air. Wildchild however slides out of the lock and he grabs IL’s head as if he’s ready to hit a bulldog. Wildchild then swings his whole body to one side and switches the hold into a front headlock! Andrew Rickmen however counters by using his strength advantage and he grabs Wildchild’s torso. He then arches backwards and throws Wildchild into the air in a sloppy Northern Lights Suplex. Wildchild then slams on his upper neck, crunching his head in the canvas and Rickmen charges forwards. Andrew dives to the mat as he slides all the way next to Wildchild, where he hooks the leg while he uses his left hand to rapidly pound on Wildchild’s face. The fans all rise to their feet in anticipation!

 

“ONE!” The crowd chants. Kivell’s hand rises into the air…

 

“TWO!” Wildchild then kicks up his lower body and breaks the pin.

 

Andrew Rickmen, the Insane Luchador, sighs and then continues to pull Wildchild up by his braided hair. IL throws a palm strike to Wildchild’s chest, and Wildchild reels backwards. Insane Luchador then sends a quick hook and then a jab. Wildchild throws a sloppy elbow and Andrew ducks away. Rickmen in defense throws another hook and then sends a stomp to Wildchild’s kneecap, again. As Wildchild does his best not to, he staggers forwards from his knee buckling and Insane Luchador drop toeholds his opponent down. Andrew Rickmen then gets next to Wildchild where he wraps his arm around Wildchild’s neck and he proceeds to lock his arm into the air. Wildchild, however, reverses as he worms his way onto his knees he flips Insane Luchador over. The lock now broken Wildchild and Insane Luchador quickly scramble to their feet. The two cautiously circle each other until they head into the dead center of the ring. Andrew Rickmen throws out a kick towards Wildchild’s torso, yet Wildchild catches it and dragon screws Insane Luchador. Wildchild gets right back to his feet while Insane Luchador grabs the back of his head and he desperately tries to get up before his foe. Andrew Rickmen then lunges forwards in a clothesline, but Wildchild catches his arm. He puts in a wristlock and leads IL and him to the top turnbuckle. Wildchild hops onto it and he begins to walk across the ropes, tugging at Insane Luchador to follow. All the fans rise to their feet as Insane Luchador feebly tries to escape. Wildchild takes notice of this and he only lifts the arm higher in the air. Wildchild soon reaches the next turnbuckle as a “WILD-CHILD!” chant spreads like wild fire through one half of the arena. The other half though kicks up an “I-L!” chant nearly as loud.

 

“What amazing skill, oh God! Wildchild has scaled one fourth of the ring in his signature move the ‘Praying Rope Walk!’” Axis comments in complete awe.

 

Wildchild continues to lead Insane Luchador towards the next turnbuckle point but IL’s resistance causes Wildchild to stray back towards the previous turnbuckle. Andrew Rickmen suddenly tugs as hard as he can on Wildchild’s body. The Wildchild slips and lands on his rear end on the turnbuckle. Insane Luchador then frees his arm and he leaps into the air and wraps his legs around Wildchild. He then tugs Wildchild (and himself) downward into a hurricana! The fans all cheer their heads off for both men and the two chants fade off. Andrew Rickmen hops back to his feet and letting the adrenaline take over jumps onto the middle ring rope.

 

“Uh-oh, this showboating could cost him.” Axis points out.

 

“Thank you Captain Obvious!” King sneers.

 

“I saw that coming, so aren’t you Captain Obvious?” Axis quips back.

 

“Go hump a dingo.” King He contently hops up and down his arms in the air making the “One sole legend” reference. Wildchild meanwhile belly crawls like a solider and he grasps the middle rope. He shakes the ropes profusely causing Insane Luchador to stumble and take a bail onto the outside. Wildchild then hops onto the top rope with incredible ease. He bends his knees and then leaps into the air corkscrewing his body in the air to the many “OOOHH!” of the fans. Camera flash and Insane Luchador, now back on his feet, screams an obscene word and dives out of his way. Wildchild hits nothing but the cold, hard cement and Luchador grins. Insane Luchador then hops onto the barricade (which saves most of the heel wrestlers from getting beat up by the fans) in a make-up-as-I-go-along move. Andrew Rickmen then leaps and somewhat outward, getting an insane amount of air considering the height he started. Insane Luchador throws his legs out in a leg drop, as Wildchild turns the tables by rolling away!

 

“Bloody hell! These two SJL superstars have put it ALL on the line… for nothing!” Axis again comments in pure awe.

 

“Right, that’s what makes them chumps!” King retorts.

 

Matthew Kivell looks over from the ring and shakes his head sadly (mostly in attempt to figure out why the hell either one of them tried to hit the aerial moves).

 

ONE! He begins the count.

 

TWO! Insane Luchador grabs onto the guardrail for support, while Wildchild has more difficulty.

 

THREE! “IN-SANE! LUCH-A-DOR! Clap clap clap clap-clap-clap” is started by the fans.

 

FOUR! Wildchild crawls towards the apron in pure pain, trying to shake off his incredible back pains.

 

“Now Wildchild missing that plancha is even worse then you fans think… unless you’re a smark…” Axis stops to grumble. “His back and neck are being worked on and all of IL’s finishers revolve around that!” Axis finishes.

 

FIVE! Insane Luchador is back on one knee and he grabs his bum in pain.

 

SIX! Wildchild slowly but surely rolls onto the ring apron.

 

SEVEN! Andrew Rickmen slowly controls his breath and the pain slowly pauses away.

 

 

 

 

 

EIGHT! Wildchild rolls into the ring and writhers in pain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

NINE! Insane Luchador is back on his feet and takes another few pats on the back from the fans before he dives back into the ring.

 

“Just in the knick of time.” Axis comments.

 

Insane Luchador and Wildchild both grab the ropes. They glance towards each other like Ferris Bueller meeting his sister’s eyes on his desperate sprint home. The two scrambles to get back to there, Wildchild appears to be in the lead but he falls back to his side. Matthew decides to begin the count,

 

ONE!

 

TWO! Insane Luchador gets to his feet, breaking the count. IL grabs Wildchild by his hair as he gives me the classic “heave-ho!” Wildchild slams against the canvas and stumbles towards the turnbuckle. Andrew Rickmen then charges forwards going for some sort of takedown. Wildchild utilizes his gifted talent of agility as he hops onto the middle rope and gets ready for Rickmen to attempt the spear. Wildchild who sunset-flips his foe then bombards Andrew pinning him!

 

“It could be over!” King hopes for the match to end.

 

ONE! Insane Luchador tries to kick out but can’t find a suitable way.

 

TWO! IL’s begins to panic and has a spasm.

 

THREE! But Matthew holds to fingers up and the fans all groan. Luchador thrusts himself up and he puts his legs over Wildchild’s shoulders hitting the same pin WC had!

 

ONE!

 

TWO! Wildchild easily kicks out and the two slowly get back to their feet.

 

“Whew, that was rather close.” Axis remarks.

 

IL beats WC to his feet and Insane Luchador tries to throw a punch. Wildchild catches it and whips Luchador into the ropes. When Insane Luchador returns from the Irish whip all the fans rise up from their chairs in anticipation.

 

“I SMELL A FREEFALL!” Axis cries out referring to WC’s signature move of a modified monkey flip. “He makes the jump into the air and hooks his hands on the back of Rickmen’s head. Wildchild is attempting to finish the move, wait!” Axis cries out, eager.

 

Andrew Rickmen lifts his arms into the air and tries to wrap his wiry arms around WC’s neck for a DDT reversal, but to no prevail. Rickmen gets tossed into the air as Wildchild slams his feet up and launches his competitor. Andrew Rickmen nearly back flips all the way over and he hits the mat. Andrew continues to bounce up like a cheap “bouncy ball” and he lands crumbled with his head jutting out from the middle rope. The fans all see Wildchild’s face light up like a Christmas tree. He charges towards the ropes praying to hit the Chicklet buster! He grabs the middle and top rope while he swings his body towards Andrew. All the fans hold their breath as Andrew Rickmen throws down to the mat instead of taking the move. Wildchild continues to swing past where he body is meant to and Wildchild slams against the apron and topples down to the cement body mangled. Andrew Rickmen takes the chance to barely get himself up.

 

“Notice that both workers are working on each other’s head and back. Not much psychology though, and it may be that they’re just trying to one up each other in the match.” Axis explains.

 

Rickmen grabs the top rope and slings himself off the ropes and he hits the Crossbody on the fallen Wildchild! Face paint chiseled, tears in his eyes from pain, Wildchild slowly rolls out from under Insane Luchador. Insane Luchador grabs his ribs in pain, but since his ribs had barely been touched without the match he can easily shake away the pain. Luchador is back on his feet to grab Wildchild while he tries to pull himself up on the guardrail. Insane Luchador leads the two towards the steel turnbuckle where Luchador slams Wildchild’s head against it and WC drops like a sack of potatoes.

 

“Andrew Rickmen is seemingly more frazzled and now moving more towards winning than get the final ‘Ooh’ from the fans!”

 

Rickmen, perhaps to prove Axis wrong and prove he’s not that predictable, and he hops onto the ring apron while he ignores Matthew Kivell’s pleas. Andrew takes many steps back and then charges forwards and he leaps into the air. He flips his body twice in the air forwards and then connects with Wildchild in a frog splash like pose.

 

“450* splash!” Axis gleefully screams out and all the fans raise up to give applaud.

Insane Luchador suddenly becomes aware of the fact that his ribs are nearly as sore as his back and head. He lies next to Wildchild, who turns his head to the side and mumbles, “Nice match.” Andrew coughs and nods while the two then realize that Matthew’s at the count of three.

 

Christ, so much pain… God, how I love my life. Insane Luchador thinks to himself while he slowly tries to pull himself up, despite the pain. Wildchild does the same.

 

FOUR! Andrew Rickmen is slumped against the barricade getting pats of encouragement and it pushes IL.

 

FIVE! Wildchild grabs onto the apron his head aching the most. He was still shaken but he finds his way back into the ring.

 

SIX! “Maybe that 450* hurt IL more.” Axis comments.

 

“Maybe Wildchild wants it more…” King points out honestly and thoughtfully.

 

SEVEN! Luchador then brings himself shakily to his feet and he stumbles into the ring.

 

Andrew Rickmen and Wildchild both stagger in pain but they manage to meet in the center of the ring in a grapple.

 

“You fans have to realize that after a good amount of high flying they’ve done… they’ve done nearly the same amount of stalling. It’s a very safe, smart strategy to conversing energy.” Axis talks from experience and he nods in respect.

 

The grapple breaks only for Wildchild to make another remark, “We gon’ give ‘em a good show, oui?” Andrew Rickmen nods and he waits a second before attempting a punch. Wildchild dodges it and he goes for the kick. Andrew Rickmen ducks under it and Wildchild spins around from the momentum turning his back to the Insane Luchador. Within that second Insane Luchador locks in the full nelson, receiving a pop that nearly blows the roof off.

 

“BRINK! BRINK! BRINK!” Axis marks.

 

“SHUT UP!” King screams like a Goth.

 

Andrew Rickmen forces the two towards the turnbuckle. Insane Luchador hops onto the top turnbuckle as an “I-L!” chant kicks up. Wildchild then tries to struggle out but throws himself forwards and IL lets go of the hold. Andrew Rickmen flips over the ducking Wildchild, but lands on his feet!

 

“Wildchild just tried to flip Insane Luchador over but IL landed on his feet!”

 

 

Andrew Rickmen tries to spin around but Wildchild is way to speedy and he hooks the two arms trying to hit the Wild Ride (also known as the Vertebreaker). Rickmen, being a veteran, slides both arms free and when Wildchild spins around to connect with some other move he gets a kick to the gut! Andrew Rickmen then lunges forwards in a headlock. Insane Luchador, to an astounding volume of cheers, leaps into the air and then falls to his back hitting the Evenflow DDT!

 

Even King has trouble retaining a smile while the “I-L!” chant kicks up even louder and he watches Andrew Rickmen at his best in a while.

 

Wildchild’s head slams against the mat and he practically blacks out due to previous abuse of the head. Insane Luchador hooks the leg and everyone leaps to his or her feet chanting along,

 

“ONE!” Wildchild seems to make no effort.

 

“Like a fine president Insane Luchador has the crowd rallied together.” Axis points out.

 

“TWO!” Cheers abrupt even louder for the inevitable win.

 

“THREE!”

 

The cheers, IL’s victory cry, and Slipknot’s “Wait and Bleed” drown out Funyon. Andrew Rickmen hops to his feet and staggers but lets Kivell raise his hand in victory. IL swoops down and gives a half slap half pat to Wildchild’s chest. “We gave them a good show.” He comments with a huge grin. Insane Luchador then gets back to his feet and hops onto the top turnbuckle throwing his arms out in victory.

 

“Insane Luchador IS back folks and apparently stronger than he’s been in a while!” Axis reassures.

 

Andrew Rickmen nods at the comment and at that moment the screen fades to black.

 

“More to come after this!” Axis promises.

 

-Starwipe to Munich’s “Rant-O’s Version 1.2”-

[Guest Goodear]

STARWIPE!!! (Y)

 

Anyway, this was a good effort IL. I would say the areas where things get a little lost is when you are transitioning from move to move. For example...

 

Andrew Rickmen then takes Wildchild offer guard with a powerful kick to his kneecap. Wildchild grabs his knee in agony and glances down looking for damage. Andrew then locks in a front face lock and he grabs a handful of Wildchild’s black tights. Rickmen goes for the lift but Wildchild grapevines his leg around IL’s. Insane Luchador growls in anger and he tries again. Wildchild once again throws his leg into IL’s way. Andrew Rickmen sighs aloud and he acts like he’s releasing the hold, and Wildchild puts his guard down, Andrew Rickmen proceeds to suddenly lift him in the air. Wildchild however slides out of the lock and he grabs IL’s head as if he’s ready to hit a bulldog. Wildchild then swings his whole body to one side and switches the hold into a front headlock! Andrew Rickmen however counters by using his strength advantage and he grabs Wildchild’s torso. He then arches backwards and throws Wildchild into the air in a sloppy Northern Lights Suplex. Wildchild then slams on his upper neck, crunching his head in the canvas and Rickmen charges forwards. Andrew dives to the mat as he slides all the way next to Wildchild, where he hooks the leg while he uses his left hand to rapidly pound on Wildchild’s face. The fans all rise to their feet in anticipation!

 

I have to say that chain wrestling is just about the hardest thing to do in writing matches (for me anyway) as you have to string together details quick enough to make the sequence feel quick, but you don't want to just be "IL hits a suplex, rolls over, suplex again." So, like the biggest problems are when you are changing positions from suplex, to bulldog, to DDT, to Northern Lights. I haven't mastered this myself yet, so I don't really have any good advice for it. Uhm... inserting a commentary point to highlight how fast the guys are moving might be a good idea. But that is all I have.

[Secret Agent 0]

A pretty good match, as said above. The only thing i see here, is try to start sentences off with something else besides somebodys name. There is a ton of Andrew, Wildchild, Rickmen, to kick off every sentence, which makes the match a bit stiff. Also try combining some of those sentences a bit.

 

Other than that i think it was pretty well done.