Guest cobainwasmurdered Report post Posted November 27, 2002 How the hell do i get a two year old to stop crying?!? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest CoreyLazarus416 Report post Posted November 27, 2002 Bash it in the head with the claw-side of a clawhammer. Sure, the mother will be angry with you, but it's worth it to make sure you don't have a headache. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest cobainwasmurdered Report post Posted November 27, 2002 I'm not going to bash my nephew's head in. he's been screaming since my sister in law dropped him off...two hours ago. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Angle-plex Report post Posted November 27, 2002 Let him suck on your nipple? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Spaceman Spiff Report post Posted November 27, 2002 beer? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sassquatch Report post Posted November 27, 2002 Make some faces at the kid and then hold him in your arms and shush him down until he calms down. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted November 27, 2002 As fucked up as I am, children love me. I ussually play with them until they tire out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Paranoid Report post Posted November 27, 2002 How the hell do i get a two year old to stop crying?!? Sucks doesn't it? My kid is just turned 2 last month. There really isn't much you can do dude. If you can understand her it helps out alot. I can understand her most of the time, but sometimes I can't and she gets pissed. Then all you can do is let her be! Good Luck man! If you have any general question or even not general, I will try to give you some advice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sassquatch Report post Posted November 27, 2002 CWM hasn't posted in a while which hopefully means things went smoothly with him and the kid... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Insanityman Report post Posted November 27, 2002 Get the GRA on the little bugger. Eh, anyways my cousin did that and I basically gave him sugar so he bounced off the walls... it was almost as bad. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Your Paragon of Virtue 0 Report post Posted November 27, 2002 ...or the kid's causing him so much trouble that he has no time to post on the comp. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted November 27, 2002 Paranoid has a kid? I had no clue. I mean...I don't know the guy or anything, but still. That's the type of information you should be forthcoming about. If I had a kid--and I probably don't--I'd make sure everyone knew about it. There'd be jokes and gimmick posters and "top ten songs to shut a baby up" threads and everything. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest cobainwasmurdered Report post Posted November 27, 2002 ...or the kid's causing him so much trouble that he has no time to post on the comp. Bingo. Ryan (my nephew) continued to screamand holler for another hour after I posted this. Finally he settled down when I put on Looney Tunes. Bugs Bunny is my savior. He's sleeping now, I'm looking after him for the next few days while his parents are on vacation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Texas Small Arms 09 Report post Posted November 27, 2002 I take it my idea didn't work Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Paranoid Report post Posted November 27, 2002 Paranoid has a kid? I had no clue. I mean...I don't know the guy or anything, but still. That's the type of information you should be forthcoming about. If I had a kid--and I probably don't--I'd make sure everyone knew about it. There'd be jokes and gimmick posters and "top ten songs to shut a baby up" threads and everything. Actually there are alot of times I am going from watching Dexter's Laborator shorts from CartoonNetwork.com and posting with you guys while she's sitting in my lap. I feel as though I am a cool Dad. We watch Scooby Doo and stuff like that. I was gonna say watch cartoons for CWM, but I wasn't sure how used to him his nephew was. It's not really that hard, but the phrase "Patience in a virtue" took on a whole new meaning! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest cynicalprofit Report post Posted November 27, 2002 2 things, smoke him out or 2 sided tape. Seriously. You give a kid that stuff and they get stuck for hours. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted November 27, 2002 Fall down. Kids love watching grownups hurt themselves. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest B-X Report post Posted November 27, 2002 Give him a funny hat and stick him in your neighbors yard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest cobainwasmurdered Report post Posted November 27, 2002 HA. Good Idea BX. Seriously though the kid normally loves spending time with me but I think he's sick. He was throwing up all night so I've made a doctor's appointment for tomorrow. Oh and TSA your idea didn't work the first time but later that night it did. Thanks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Metal Maniac Report post Posted November 27, 2002 This is gonna sound really silly, but my Dad swears by it, and he raised 5 kids, so whatever. And for the record, this might only work on young babies, but whatever. Now, I'm not making this up, but...slowly rub your finger down the kid's nose repeatedly. Not hard or anything, just touch the top of the nose and let your finger slide down. Apparantly, it makes babies fall asleep quickly. Hey, it's better then punching the kids face in. Or just get a nephew like mine (Ok, it's a second cousin, but whatever). I swear, you can sit the kid in the living room and just put an open case of Coke next to him. He'll be entertained for hours, just taking cans out, fooling with them, and handing them to you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest cobainwasmurdered Report post Posted November 28, 2002 Well I haven't had a chance to use your Idea Metal Maniac. He's settled down a bit now. He's actually watching a hockey game now. Proof that he is releated to me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sandman9000 Report post Posted November 28, 2002 I'm under the assumption that given my background, any suggestions I give will quickly be ignored and classified as illegal, immoral, and downright child abuse, so I won't. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Amazing Rando Report post Posted November 28, 2002 *pictures Sandman playing with a Fisher Price Playskool Disney Weedwacker with assorted attachments* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Downhome Report post Posted November 28, 2002 Now, I'm not making this up, but...slowly rub your finger down the kid's nose repeatedly. Not hard or anything, just touch the top of the nose and let your finger slide down. Apparantly, it makes babies fall asleep quickly. Hey, it's better then punching the kids face in. That is 100%, without a doubt, true. It doesn't sound crazy at all, I've used that tatic also, as does my whole family... ...I thought we were the only ones, lol. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Amazing Rando Report post Posted November 28, 2002 so Downhome has a little nose fetisHHH? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Downhome Report post Posted November 28, 2002 so Downhome has a little nose fetisHHH? Not so much a "fetish" as it is a lust. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Amazing Rando Report post Posted November 28, 2002 *spits up Mt. Dew* .....bastard.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted November 28, 2002 Give him this year's #1 Christmas item: Mattel's Gasoline-powered Sharp Thing!!!! Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
