Tom Zenk's New Column

[JasonX 0]

http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Arena/9...93/column57.htm

 

Pandaphelia rules....

 

 

Will Austin return to rescue Vince?

by Tom Zenk

 

WWE loses round one ...

LONDON, Nov 26 (Reuters) - "U.S. video games publisher THQ will be in contempt of court if it continues to market a wrestling game featuring a "WWF" logo, a British judge ruled on Tuesday. … Mr Justice Jacob advised THQ on Tuesday to pursue McMahon for the cost of pulling games from shop shelves. "It was the WWE that got them into this mess," Jacob told the court.

 

A fifth of THQ's sales come from 'WWF' wrestling franchises. THQ's revenue for the third quarter of 2002 was $97 million. A fifth of that would be $19.2 million per quarter or $70 million a year. Add that to $360 million that the Panda wants and ….. "this could be very dangerous" - Meltzer.

 

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The one and only champion....

The Lesnar loss was apparently Vince's baby (Terry Taylor was also a big proponent of the switch). Some people may also think HHH was behind Lesnar's loss. I'm sure he was. Meltzer says that he just can't understand why Scott Steiner’s debut went unadvertised. I can!!!!

 

Yip, it all points (again) to HHH …..

 

Seems to me that just maybe HHH helped get Terry Taylor a menial politicking job with WWE because he remembers how he was helped at the Power Plant by none other than TT. That was years ago - before HH became Steph's man. In those days no-one bothered with him much.

 

Without a doubt, Crips will be back to win the belt - you only need one belt - when the time suits him to be the one and only WWE champion.

 

Torn muscle from the bone, bone fragments, a bad throat (HHH's life threatening injury was diagnosed as a swollen neck. WOW! ), maybe a broken wrist or arm next. Is Crips fragile or just full of excuses? The WWE champion of the world....Triple M

 

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Shane Douglas interviewed by Mike Nagel and Jeff Meacham

November 25th, 2002 http://xtreme.themayhem.com/

 

MN: Speaking of Shawn Michaels, what did you think of them giving him the

World Title now?

 

SD: ... it just seems very fishy to me that during the time guys like Austin and Hunter were hot, Shawn's back was so bad that he couldn't wrestle and still got 15,000 a week. All of the sudden when things cool off, suddenly

those back problems heal up really quickly and he's back doing his thing.. "

 

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Guess Pritchard must have been busy tending to his wife or other pressing WWE business. He couldn’t prevent Terry from getting a job this time around. Last time he buried Taylor claiming he had heat with a lot of people

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Overtures to Austin

With ratings for "RAW" down as much as 39 percent compared to last year, and "SmackDown!" off as much as 25 percent, it looks like Austin's proved his worth and Vinnie's ready to eat some humble pie.... With all the legal niceties out of the way this week, Ross was sucking up to the Rattlesnake on 100.5 KATT Radio, Oklahoma City – “JR compared Debra to Lucille Ball. Lucy was the star and "Desi was just hanging around.” He was confident Austin would be back, but not Debra. Thinks Austin will stick around for one more year after his return. Said Austin wouldn’t want his career to be seen as "unfinished business” would he?

 

HHH on the mic …. the sound of breaking glass … goodbye Mr Crips.

 

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More of Ross on 100.5 KATT Radio

 

Hogan "wanted to be a cowboy, instead of an Indian"

Quoted Hogan as saying "I've got more money than God but he'll never grow any more hair."

"Our Heavyweight Champions shouldn't have AARP cards" noting that Hogan was either 49 or 50 and he wanted to pin Brock Lesnar.

Ross has finished most of the Hulk Hogan book and it is a very easy, quick read. Happy now with the sanitized version approved by Mrs McMahon. “I was not totally sold on this book early after reading some of the first drafts, but I have to admit the finished product is a fun and enjoyable read.”

- Said Hogan wanted to be honest about steroids now, but "he should have been all along." He he.

- On Bischoff - "He screwed me royally, and now he's working for me."

Main Event - Z-Man vs Arn Anderson

"For those that don't know, "WWE Classics" have been airing in the UK for some time now. Usually, the show would feature an old episode of "Wrestling Challenge" … Recently however, they have been dipping into the tape library and showing old episodes of the NWA Worldwide show from June 1990 (which WWE acquired the tapes of when they purchased WCW). …. NWA TV Title Match - Arn Anderson © vs. The Z-Man (Tom Zenkk). Nice pop (mainly girls) for Zenk, great heat for AA. …. Anderson goes for a hand shake to start but Zenk wants none of it. Tidy bit of wrestling to open with Zenk controlling the first few minutes. The two lock up , with Arn forcing Zenk back to the corner for a referee break. They lock up a second time, with Zenk this time locking in a side headlock. Anderson attempts to break the hold by bouncing him off the ropes, but Z holds on before dropping to the mat. Arn rolls over twice to get a couple of 2 counts before finally breaking the hold with a pull of the hair, which infuriates Zenk. Regardless, Anderson takes Z down to the mat with a nice fireman’s carry takedown, but Z-Man turns it into a headscissors. Arn shifts his body to get another 2 count before Zenk punches his way free. As the two separate, Zenk gees the crowd up with Arn looking worried. The pair lock up again, with Anderson forcing Zenk to the ropes where he lands some stiff shoulders to the arm, followed by a knee to the gut and some punches. However, Z-Man reverses the whip attempt and takes the champ down with a drop-toehold before locking in a modified version of the STF. Anderson reaches the ropes to break and the two lock up once more as they return to a vertical base. Arn once again forces Zenk back to the corner where he unloads with punches and knees before wrenching the arm. Zenk fights out with a hard shot before scoring with a back-bodydrop and then a reverse elbow for 2. Fighting for his title, Arn pulls Zenk by his trunks to the outside before attempting to suplex him back in. However, Zenk floats over and goes for the old rollup off the ropes. Arn sneakily ducks down though; causing Zenk to guillotine himself on the top strand and fall victim to a lucky three count.Winner: Arn Anderson…Another good show and another nice blast from the past.” (reported by Steve Knight/Lee Relph)

Happy to help out, Vinnie.

 

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Remember the Radicals? Last week, Perry Saturn was released from his WWE contract ...At the same time, DDP's contract with WWE was officially terminated ….. Commentary job? Guess not! “My main goal is giving back to the person I love and the one who helped me the most," DDP told Alex Marvez. Three guesses who they are.

 

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The Tom Zenk column is officially on holiday. Join us again December 31 for Tom Zenk's "Year in Review."

 

 

Your feedback …..

The fans have spoken, and we say "No more Cripple H." What was turning out to be a good show took a massive crap right at the end, when the Lame Game came out and killed the crowd. What happened when Crips got into the ring could only be described as DEAFENING SILENCE, when 15 thousand fans seemed to roll their collective eyes. Even you, Zman, must have felt a little bad for the guy, right? I mean, it's Crips job to be hated, and to watch him fail so thoroughly and miserably kind of makes me cringe. I guess Triple H knows what Good Ol' JR must have felt like when he joined the "Kiss My Ass" club in his home state while his daughter was backstage. Geez, did everybody have to take a piss at the same time? But at the same time, I laugh at the Lame. RAW has become the "Let's see how deep we can bury Chris Jericho Show," and last night was no exception. Then again, all Jericho had to do was show some skin,it was Triple H who was left exposed.

 

Tom Zenk replies – “Yeah, how bout Chris and Stinky Steph doing the nasty behind HHH's back? oh yeah!! Remember Chris needing some heat via Steph stank as Manager of the Year candidate?

 

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I guess now HGH has an excuse as to why he's blown up 2 minutes into a match...it's because RVD crushed his windpipe, NOT because HGH is on enough steroids to choke a racehorse

 

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So HGH doesn't blame RVD for the injury huh? you can bet behind closed doors he's poisoning him to Vince during one of their special massage...er I mean brainstorming sessions. That's a page right out of HBGay and flamingo legs Nash's playbook. Humble and ingratiating to his face then put the shiv in when his back is turned. Or maybe he's like that Mr. Subliminal guy from Saturday night live. "Hey Vince, ratings are down *cough RVD's fault cough* the stock's in the crapper *cough RVD's fault cough* the split failed *cough RVD's fault cough* and we're going to war with Iraq *cough RVD's fault cough*" you gotta admire this guy singlehandedly screwing Vince, his daughter and his company. Even Dusty could see through this guy "Wha did trippa h's daddy eva do fo da bidness?"On other fronts Linda tells stockholders the world tour will save the wweeee. some excerpts from Lance Storm's latest article on the wwe tour of India"This trip was the most grueling trip I’ve ever been on. " "The poverty and filthy conditions of the country were unbelievable.People actually living in the streets in make shift tents and shacks. " "In total for the round trip we logged just over 60 hours of travel in 5 days.""...several of us, including yours truly got very ill" way to improve already rock bottom morale Vince! Vince wants to con 3rd world peasants out of what little they have so he can build his $14mil Florida mansion. more dates+more travel+amoebic infections+no opportunity for advancement+harder bumps=shrinking wages. What's wrong with this picture?

 

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Hey Z-man. I went to Spec's Music down here in Florida and met big old Kevin Nash today. I enjoy your columns...but it makes me wonder.....why do you refer to him as "GNash"....what the hell is a "GNash"?

 

...he's not really much of a fan friendly guy. I recall him basically blowing off most of the people's questions and stuff. He mumbled like a lil' bitch. I quote:::

 

"You know of any good schools down here in Florida"? [pause.......]

 

"....schools? ahh...wrestling schools?" [No!...Good College Schools of course!!]

 

"Yeah"

 

(low voice) "no. Don't know any. I'm trying to get Scott to open one."

 

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Zenk - if anyone continues to doubt your role aas the prophet of professional wresting after this Monday's Raw, they will never see the light. After a LAME (pun) attempt to build himself up with an "injury", HHH's plan backfired right in his big-nosed mug. I'm sure he thought, "I'll sit out with this throat thing, feed the sheets what a life threatening injury it was, and then return to Raw when the ratings are in the toilet and market myself as the saviour of wrestling one more time." But it didn't happen like that, did it? Sure, he's still feeding the injured story (and why has no one in the WWE pointed out that HHH was OUT OF POSITION FOR THE FROG SPLASH?) but the Raw without HHH limping all over the place ... did much better than most Raws in recent memory. When the plan back fired, what did HHH do? He rushed back to Raw as fast as his skinny legs could carry him and tried to salvage what's left of his career (wouldn't want to stay away and let the ratings go UP to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that no one cares about you). Can someone please explain to me why is HHH bent on portraying himself as the monster heel he can NEVER be? I haven't seen no-selling like that since Hulk Hogan. Guess that "serious" neck injury wasn't that bad. I mean another pro wrestler punched him in the head and that didn't stop HHH. He must be some sort of Superman! ....While I try not to think this way, maybe it would have better for everyone (except HHH and Steph obviously) if RVD had crushed the guy's throat.

 

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Hey Tom, first of all Happy Birthday. I believe your birthday is sometime this week and also have a nice Thanksgiving. Now to what happened on Monday Night Raw was all I can say is - I couldn't even get into the match or entertain the idea that RVD might get the belt because I was just waiting for the moment HHH would run out. Predictable as a Scooby Doo cartoon. F*cking Lame. Ain't it funny the WWE are slowly fading out Ric Flair from Triple Aids corner - sorry for the term Aids but c'mon the guy is a disease.... Raw was going pretty strong all night, until the bullshit interference caused by Triple H stealing both guys thunder from a good match. Tom you were right, Jim Ross is a queer for Cripps. He puts over Triple H all the time (especially when he's injured) then when Triple H comes back he makes it seem like he's Superman. Makes you wonder if Triple H was really hurt badly afterall? I know if I have a sore throat I don't want to get out of bed let alone giving a guy a back breaker on a chair.

 

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Hey Tom, your point of Triple H being hurt all of a sudden because of Steiner's return was dead-on. How else can you explain it folks? Here's a 33 yrs old guy who's been injured at least 2 or 3 times the most this year. Yet he's the wCw Champion? I’m sorry World Champion.....I mean My God Randy Savage was at least 35 at Wrestlemania 3 and put on a clinic with Stemaboat. What's Triple H's excuse for being injured all the time when major talent comes in? . .... Well I hope you have major success with your book. I'm a big Zenkaholic and can't wait to buy my copy, much success Tom.

 

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My top picks to replace Tazz would be Tom Zenk (sure he might say things that the suits don't want him to, but at least he'd be interesting), Jesse Ventura, Steve Prazak, Joel Gertner, and Scott Hudson.

 

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Wildlife scavenges WWE carcass.... > > [ Pictures of a Panda in fatigues & Vince & Linda ] > Panda - Al-Quaida connection?

 

I mark for this comment right here > From this column 08/02/02 - ".some guy called Joel Simon talking > 'fun', 'big action', 'rock 'n' roll' and 'a little T&A' got the nod > from Linda and Vince to chew up some more WWE investor cash on a > movie division called WWE Films. .Simon is promising cross-over > action hero status for three of WWE's 'top stars' - Triple H, Booker > T and, yes the Big Show!!! "Big Show has wonderful timing," says > 'casual fan' Simon. Looks like Vince found himself another genius, > while the rest of us dumb fucks thought 'Big Show' and 'action' were > oxymorons."

 

Your missing it.. HHH will be the Big star in the begining. He needs to prove he can be as big in real entertainment as The Rock ( nuff said) or Austin... heck he would probably kill to be as good as Hogan or Piper >>

 

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Tom, Any truth to the rumor that Crips is leaving Big Steph for the Katie Vick corpse ? I heard she was livelier in the sack than Big Steph..

 

Their is a little local show in Pennsylvaniua 3 guys on wrestling or something, you might want to get onto their show, probably give them fellas a little validity to their segments.

 

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Boy, it's tough to be a pain in the ass, shit-sturring, lazy scumbag when you don't have Cripple H and Kevin Gash backing you up. I guess everybody knows by now that Grease Rat...I mean X-Crap has been fired from NWA-TNA. Did Waltman think that being buddies with Cocaine James and Scotch Hall was enough to keep him from being fired? This guy just doesn't learn from history, he thought he was protected by the Huckster in WCW and was fired for disobeying the rules. He thought HGH and Big Daddy Bitch wouldn't let Vince fire him from WWE and what happened? God, what a little rat bastard he is, the original William Regal. He's a shitty worker, but he's friends with the locker room brown nosers so he's involved at the top level. Waltman, you are without a shadow of a doubt....a DOUCHE BAG. Oh, lets see you try to run back to the WWE and explain to the Lame on why you're scavanging his sloppy seconds.

[Guest FeArHaVoC]

Yip, it all points (again) to HHH …..

 

Seems to me that just maybe HHH helped get Terry Taylor a menial politicking job with WWE because he remembers how he was helped at the Power Plant by none other than TT.

Triple H wasn't trained in the Power Plant.

[Guest Nevermortal]

Zenk's such an embittered old fuck.

 

But he's funny!

[Guest buffybeast]

"... it just seems very fishy to me that during the time guys like Austin and Hunter were hot, Shawn's back was so bad that he couldn't wrestle and still got 15,000 a week. All of the sudden when things cool off, suddenly

those back problems heal up really quickly and he's back doing his thing.. "

 

I hadn't thought of Shawn and his comeback in that respect. Interesting.....

[Guest IB2BLACK]

HHH, should get a restraining order against this guy. He's obsessed with him. All he talks about is HHH, HHH, HHH, HHH, etc. My god, over 100 wrestlers in the WWE, however all he talks about is HHH. Isn't it weird that a man is obsessing over another man, like this.

[Guest buffybeast]

Zenk's probably a bit jealous of Trips.

[Guest Tony149]

Triple H wasn't trained in the Power Plant.

He probably meant HHH worked out at the plant with Taylor. DDP & The Giant also used to do that.

[B. Brian Brunzell 0]

Man, do old wrestlers get any more bitter than the Z-Man? I think not, but damn, the guy can creatively bash anyone, and that's cool with me.

[Guest Nevermortal]

Triple H wasn't trained in the Power Plant.

He probably meant HHH worked out at the plant with Taylor. DDP & The Giant also used to do that.

Ah yes, the infamous Giant Power Plant trips.

 

Isn't that where the rumors of the Giant-sault emerged from?

[JasonX 0]

Triple H wasn't trained in the Power Plant.

He probably meant HHH worked out at the plant with Taylor. DDP & The Giant also used to do that.

Ah yes, the infamous Giant Power Plant trips.

 

Isn't that where the rumors of the Giant-sault emerged from?

yep

[Guest Human Fly]

Zenk is so bitter it's crazy everything he passes off as fact has to be taken with a huge grain of salt. His opinions on the other hand are some of the funniest on the net. I saw some talk in that article about a Zenk book. I would buy it.

[JasonX 0]

I saw some talk in that article about a Zenk book. I would buy it.

Zenk has a book in the works that is supposed to be released sometime in 2003. He posted an overview of what the book would talk about and it seems to focus heavily on WCW during Zenk's infamous run in the company during the 1990s as well as the standard "Secret World of Pro Wrestling 101" stuff, Vince bashing, and a chapter devoted to Zenk talking about the late Brian Pillman.

[Guest dreamer420]

The guy is just a fucking whiner who has burned too many bridges in the business.

[Guest RickyChosyu]

The guy is just a fucking whiner who has burned too many bridges in the business.

 

You know, it's one thing to critisize what someone else says, but doing it in the way you just did leaves you highly open to critisism. What, exactly, was wrong with what he said? How does the number of bridges he's burned have to do with the validity of his statements? Why should people be more inclined to trust your opinion over his? It's ill-founded statements like this that make me wonder how anyone expects to be taken seriously around here. Make a point, give reason why that point is valid, or don't bother.

 

Quite frankly, while I dissagreed with some of his fan base, I think his points on HHH are perfectly logical and very relevant to the current status of the WWE. HHH is becoming a huge problem, and while it's certainly not neccesary for Zenk to go and point that out for the uptenth time, I can't find anything wrong with what he said, believe it or not. You don't have to believe everything he says, but blowing him off because "he's too bitter, so everything he says is wrong" is just ridiculous.