WWA All Stars Retribution PPV

[Guest DeputyHawk]

just got back from the wwa's fourth ppv attempt emanating, bizarrely, from the SECC in glasgow, scotland. apparently it will air in the US in february, and i sincerely hope two months is enough time to make it look decent in post-production. there were some horribly blown spots, and it's overall feel was very amateurish indeed. still, we generally get fuck all wrestling in scotland so i'll take anything i can get.

 

jeremy borash came out to pump the crowd, which he blew straight away by pronouncing the city "glas-gow" as it reads instead of"glas-go" as it actually is. american tourists pronounce the city like this all the time and it really pisses us natives off. he was roundly booed and seemed confused until he consulted with someone at ringside who explained his linguistic blunder. he apologised to the crowd for being a dumb american, corrected his pronunciation and continued as planned, although several other wrestler mispronounced the city throughout the show which got them big heat from the fans. not heel heat mind, just 'ignorant bastard' heat.

 

borash introduced co-announcer disco inferno who got a decent crowd reaction, then a scottish pipe band played for a while in front of their flimsy looking 'highland castle' set. i had seen the pipers on the way in and thought that roddy may have been making a surprise appearance, but quickly realised they were only there to pimp the fact that we were indeed broadcasting from scotland and no mistake. i guess it just doesn't seem like that much of a cause for celebration when you actually live here. meh. they got a nice cheer from the patriots in the crowd, at any rate.

 

match one - shark boy beat 'the future' frankie kazarian. i remember seeing shark boy on wcw saturday night towards the end of its run, and he currently seems to be the darling of xpw. i've never seen any of kazarian's indy work, but he seems pretty competent. they had a fair-good cruisers style indy match, and the crowd was hot for sharky, who makes sure to take his match down a notch or two by doing his hilarious 'biting the ref's ass' spot before getting the win. cause he's a shark, see? yeah.

 

mike sanders comes out and he's our new wwa commissioner. the promotion's commissioners (past alumni include bret hart & sid vicious) only ever seem to last one ppv and appear to have no discernable role whatsoever in running the company. sanders is booed at first but then says sting! and glasgow (correctly)! and so we cheer him. such fickle fans are we. joe e. legend (just joe!) then comes out and seems to have become a mini-hhh, oddly. same hair, same dull promo style. they say some stuff and basically build to a match later on in the show, but i can't hear much of it as a kid in front of me has taken to talking incessantly at me.

 

match two - an unnanounced participant (i believe, nate 'spyder' webb) comes out then perry saturn runs in and just beats the bejeesus out of him with several sweet-looking suplexes, which get good pops, then he simply rolls out of the ring and looks cross-eyed at what he's done. i guess this was supposed to generate him heel heat but the crowd is just silent, i mean you could literally hear a pin drop. perry wanders to the back. the announcer then pipes back up as webb (?) lies motionless in the ring: "his opponent ... konnan!" that at least gets a laugh, then konnan jiggles his way into the ring, pins webb straight off the bat and joins borash & disco at the announce table. flat segment, which the crowd had no idea how to react to as they just assumed perry was the proper opponent. "okay, you've beat him up a bit, now what?" kind of thing. i guess the televised version will make more sense and perry will be pushed as a surprise appearance or something, but as a live angle it blew.

 

backstage video segment with puppet & teo the hardcore midgets trying to come onto midajah. commissioner sanders makes her the referee for the midgets match. midajah looks utterly traumatised by the responsibilty now placed upon her pretty shoulders.

 

match three - buff bagwell & johnny swinger beat norman smiley & malice/the wall. really boring match which the crowd quickly lost interest in. nothing more to add.

 

jeff jarrett shows up on the video wall and says he has just flown in from tennessee and will be defending the nwa world title later on tonight against 'front row' nathan jones! well, that was certainly unexpected. this thoroughly confused me, cause i assumed with reigning wwa champion scott steiner signing with vince, they would have just put their belt back on nathan, who had held it previously, and jarrett had been flown in especially to put him over. simply defending the nwa title independently on the wwa show was ... odd. very interesting situation though, wonder if it will lead anywhere?

 

match four - teo beat puppet in the hardcore midgets match. it wasn't actually that hardcore, but was quite entertaining for what it was i guess. they are pretty good little wrestlers. perry saturn runs in again and beats up both the little fellas. he says he does what he wants when he wants, then goes to beat up midajah, changes his mind and roughly kisses her instead. she looks repulsed, and perry drags her to the back to virtually no reaction again. a half hearted pantomime villain 'boo' goes out. we go to intermission and so far this has been pretty underwhelming stuff. the opener was good, and jarrett was a surprise appearance at least.

 

match five - back from intermission, we are treated to mike sanders vs. joe e. legend. match of the night! i was seriously surprised by this, just a really good, well-crafted contest with lots of crowd interaction and a great series of near-falls towards the end. sanders got himself really over with the crowd. what were wwe thinking releasing this guy? the commish takes the mic and sends a message to perry saturn - if you'll do what i want when i want, therefore you're in a three way hardcore match later on tonight. go mikey!

 

lex luger is interviewed on the video screen. the audio is so bad i cannot hear a single word he says. he's looking pretty ugly though, if that helps you form a mental picture.

 

match six - nwa world champion jeff jarrett beat 'front row' nathan jones after smacking him over the head with his plywood guitar. odd match. jarrett started as the heel and jones the face, then jones inexplicably attacked the referee, nailed double-j with a big boot which missed him by a mile (jarrett still sold it, bless him) and then fell to jarrett's geetar whacker, which the crowd just loved a whole five minutes after booing him out of the building. i hope they make some sort of sense of this for the broadcast version, because again live it was just baffling. lights dim as they sweep the balsa wood from the mat.

 

match seven - sting talks on the video screen. "been sitting at home for 15 months, I know the package very well, mumble mumble mumble SHOWTIME!" massive pop for the stinger's first big match back, and i mean massive. if he was looking to see if the fans still want him around, he can sleep easy. the crowd were loving him. i know he's probably too old now, but i would kill to see sting in the wwe, i really would. anyway, luger stalls, bails, stalls some more, grabs a mic and says something about how he hates being in england. ooh, big heat for that. sting attacks, and screams that we are not in fact in england, but that we are in SCOTLAND!!!!! he sadly does not turn to the camera with a big, cheezy grin and thumb aloft, and i am forced to conclude that it was not an ironic gesture. despite this, the stinger still rules. i mean damn, it wasn't as if he needed a louder reaction or anything. anyway, luger impresses me in no way other than the fact that he seems to have maintained a six-pac on top of his middle age spread. the man was the veritable oversized hold-all here, although sting does try his best to carry him, ring rust and all. the finish, though, is quite possibly the worst i have ever, ever seen. stinger splash in the corner, but jeff jarrett has snuck back out and is hiding behind the turnbuckles, popping up to smash the guitar over sting's head and dropping luger across him for the pin. 1-2-kickout! crowd goes crazy but the package's music plays and everyone looks really awkward. luger makes the sign for the torture rack as his music still plays and the referee just looks like a rabbit trapped in the headlights. the music stops, jarrett comes back in with another guitar which he smacks over sting's head a second time, only the tiniest little shard of wood breaking off it. jarrett kind of gives the guitar a funny look and leaves, luger pins sting to win the vacant wwa world title, crowd lets loose with a hearty extended "bullshit!" chant. i don't know who fucked up, but something obviously went terribly askew with the finish there and it just looked diabolical. the only positive thing i can possibly say about that finish is that at least sting is not now tied down with the organisation. GO VINCE GO! please?

 

match eight - sabu beat perry saturn and simon diamond in a three way hardcore rules main event. there was some good stuff here, all the usual sabu spots, diamond held his end of it up, and perry saturn was absolutely on fire - think he had something to prove? lots of near-falls, break-ups, etc. LOTS of ecw & we want tables chants throughout. when they finally got the tables, i think we all now wish they hadn't bothered. the first one collapsed before anyone even touched it, the second one's leg bucked in underneath itself. the crowd responded by laughing. sabu took the buckled table and propped it between the ring and the guardrail, laid simon on it and it promptly splintered as soon as his back made the slightest bit of contact. just a disaster, and the fans are booing now. sabu was obviously pissed of and slapped the apron a bit before a tiny wheely-table made of thick wood with metal legs apeared and simon was laid on that while sabu flipped backwards onto him. all i can say i OUCH and thank the lord that simon didn't break his back on that spot. anyway, a lot of people started leaving at that point out of a mixture of derision for the tables and wanting to beat the traffic, i guess. puppet & teo run back out, possibly to try to save the match, they strip midajah (who now seems oddly content to be perry's valet?) down to her bra & panties so saturn leads her to the back. sabu then won with a pin over diamond, but the comedy tables had just killed the match at this point. decent reaction for sabu though, he put his back into the match at least, if not diamond's through an actual table.

 

well, a good night out, in as much as wrestling hardly ever comes to scotland and it was good seeing a lot of these guys in the flesh. i think with some judicious editing and good announcing, this show could actually be pretty good. well actually, i have my doubts about it, but we'll see what the fed can muster up in the time between now and it's u.s. ppv broadcast date. the conclusion to the sting-luger match in particular was just laughable, as were the tables in the harcore main, and jarrett's role on the show was particularly unclear without commentary to explain.

[Guest Incandenza]

But...but...WHAT HAPPENED TO SID? Where's the Master of the Squirrels?

[Guest DeputyHawk]

But...but...WHAT HAPPENED TO SID? Where's the Master of the Squirrels?

tell me about it. i brought a squeegee to wave at him and everything.

[Guest dreamer420]

Sounds like a pretty crappy PPV card. I'm a dumbass and will probably watch anyway, but I can't see it being any better than their last PPV.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

I pronounce it Glas-go all the time. What's the tourists' problem?

 

I had no idea that Sting had decided to work for WWA. How'd I miss that?

[Guest Army Eye]

Groan. This sounds bad, bad, BAD!!! The production guys will sure have to earn their paycheck in the coming weeks. Thanks for the report, was entertaining.

[Guest Ace309]

... remind em again what they charge for these?

[Chunk 0]

I had a look at the ticket prices for the London show (if thats what you mean).

 

It was a while ago, but i think the tickets were £25 (it might have been £35) for floor seats row C.

 

I might not be spot on, but that gives you an idea of the kind of prices they charge.

[Guest Andy]

I had a look at the ticket prices for the London show (if thats what you mean).

 

It was a while ago, but i think the tickets were £25 (it might have been £35) for floor seats row C.

 

I might not be spot on, but that gives you an idea of the kind of prices they charge.

I went to the London show in 2001, and it certainly did not encourage me to want to go again.

 

Cheers,

 

Andy

[Guest Andy]

I had a look at the ticket prices for the London show (if thats what you mean).

 

It was a while ago, but i think the tickets were £25 (it might have been £35) for floor seats row C.

 

I might not be spot on, but that gives you an idea of the kind of prices they charge.

I went to the London show in 2001, and it certainly did not encourage me to want to go again.

 

Cheers,

 

Andy

[Guest bob_barron]

I fail to see the logic in jobbing the most over guy on the show to Lex freaking Luger

[Guest dreamer420]

I don't get it either. That promotion should be based around Sting if they ever want to get off the ground and get a decent fanbase.

[Guest DeputyHawk]

that's the problem with the wwa, there's no focus to it. it was being based around jeff jarrett before nwa:tna kicked off and took him away, then they switched focus onto nathan jones for their second aussie tour but he was, well, shit. then scott steiner - vince signed him. there's no continuity to the company, and it's exemplified by their long gaps between tours during which half their roster goes elsewhere to find regular work. sting at this point i don't think knows whether he wants a full-time return or not so would probably be unwilling to hold their belt for an extended period of time, which is what they need. at least with luger, he's a relatively well known name and there's no danger of any other promoter trying to spirit him away and fuck them over again, because he's a fat tub of talentless goo.