Football v. Grandma

[Guest Kinetic]

I have a situation here. I've commited myself to joining the military, but I very specifically requested not to go into basic training until February so that I won't miss the rest of the football season. Sounds reasonable enough, right? All right, well, try explaining it to your 60 year old, unbelievably uptight grandmother. I just recently moved in with my grandparents and have already run into a number of problems: College costs too much, I can't find a job, my grandmoter is adamantly anti-smoking, etc. I thought the military thing would be the solution to all of those problems, but here I am: Desperate to see the rest of the season, but with a disapproving grandmother who's taken me into her house looking over my shoulder the whole time. What do you do? Stick it out, despite her protestations and get to see the rest of the season but at the cost of your sanity? Or say to hell with it and go in early, but miss the playoffs and the Super Bowl in a year when your favorite team is having their best season ever? Use the money you earned at McDonald's to move into a hotel room for a month? What?

[Guest crandamaniac]

You know, the armed forces tends to like people who's just a wee bit crazy, so that may work in your favor.

 

Do what I'd do tho. Just imagine the battle in your head. On one side you have your grandma. On the other side the whole Defensive line for the Tampa Bay Bucs. Play that battle in your head a few times. May make your decision a lot easier.*

 

 

 

*Or make you laugh in uncontrollable fits, like it does me for some reason.

[Guest Kinetic]

I see Warren Sapp yelling, "Think you're tough? Put a jersey on! Put a jersey on!" at my grandmother, but that doesn't help any. Her endless lectures on the value of structure and pre-planning would neutralize Simeon Rice and most likely put Derrick Brooks to sleep. I've pretty much already made up my mind that I'm going to stick it out for the rest of the season, though. In ten years, nobody will even remember that extra month that I stayed with them. Hell, they'll probably be dead! And I'll be a wealthy and beloved entertainer who most assuredly watched his Tampa Bay Buccaneers on their epic quest to Super Bowl glory in 2002/2003.

[Guest Flyboy]

Stay here so I can enjoy the Saints beating the Bucs ONE MORE TIME.

[Guest Kinetic]

Are you ever going to take that picture of Michael Vick out of your sig, Flyboy? There should be a statute of limitations on that sort of thing after someone gets punked like a bitch in a big game. I bet I could dig up a picture of Brad Johnson for you.

[Guest Incandenza]

Move into a motel. Why not? You're gonna get some steady income come February, so why not spend what you have, now?

 

EDIT: Oh, you'll also be allowed some freedom in between the years of living under other people's roofs and living the extremely structured military life.

[Guest bob_barron]

Why are you joining the military kinetic??

[Guest Flyboy]

Are you ever going to take that picture of Michael Vick out of your sig, Flyboy? There should be a statute of limitations on that sort of thing after someone gets punked like a bitch in a big game. I bet I could dig up a picture of Brad Johnson for you.

Better?

 

Why not put the picture of the running back who ran on the Bucs for 99 yds... WHILE HE WAS INJURED, and led to the Saints' victory.

 

Makes sense to me.

[Guest Flyboy]

Why are you joining the military kinetic??

I was wondering the same thing.

 

Kinetic's to scrappy/puny to be in the military.

[Guest Incandenza]

He explained why somewhere in the second Gathering thread. Search the last couple of pages there.

[Guest phoenixrising]

Just wanted to say I wouldn't have this problem. My grandma loves football. She actually called me to make sure I knew UCLA fired Toledo.

 

About your problem, you seem like a dedicated fan, so if you can put up with the crap I'd say stay and watch the Bucs.

 

A motel or an apartment is a good idea too if you can't stand it, assuming you have enough money for a couple months rent.

[Guest phoenixrising]

EDIT: Sorry, double post.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Two words: TIME SHARE.

 

Oh, nevermind, it's only for a month or two. Erm... you could come live here if it's that unbearable there. We could find a pair of black framed glasses and make the family think you're me. You'd have to climb onto the roof to smoke though, but considering I have a sliding door that provides easy access to the roof, that won't be a problem.

 

What WOULD be a problem would be when the family notices a decided lack of techno and Kylie coming from my room, as well as us having to split posting time on this computer (that is endowed with a cable connection, I might add).

 

Hell, move in with my father. He's been looking for a boarder for a bit of cash, you could provide that.

[Guest Kinetic]

I'm joining the military because they'll pay for me to go college. I'll also be receiving a steady paycheck and learning a trade, as well as being able to live free of the restrictive shackles of my grandparents and/or parents. At this rate, if I were to have to pay out of state fees to attend college in North Carolina for two semesters, I'd be about 23 before I'd be able to move out of my grandparents house and not move into my car. It's the best option, basically.

 

But not until February.

[Your Paragon of Virtue]

What trade would you pick up? Do you know for certain that they will pay your college tab?

[Guest Kinetic]

They pay for education, yeah. I'm pretty sure it's all or most of it. I'll also get a signing bonus and a steady paycheck. I want to go into either journalism or television/radio production while I'm in the military, as I feel those will be the most valuable skills I can pick up to aid me in my rise to superstardom.