The biggest logic gap in wrestling

[The Dames 0]

Mighty Damaramu, when it comes to their music, Vince hires the absolute quickest guys in the business. Brock yells "hit it" and runs down and the guy's already got it cued up.

 

Dames

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

This was mentioned by someone else: Wrestlers using mics to communicate in the ring during a promo, when it's entirely unnecessary. You're 5 feet away from one another!

They want to be more over with the fans by calling someone a punk in person. Think about it....if you want to fight someone in high school and you think you're gonna beat this guys ass, you'll say it all loud in the cafeteria. Same mentality.

 

Dames

Why should anyone on the roster care what the fans think? They're just there to kick someone's ass and settle a beef. Not entertain. Unless of course we're exposing the business. Is that what you want dames? To expose the business?

[Guest Goodear]

This is a great thread... Dames trying to actually answer these things is awesome.

 

So Dames... Why does Ric Flair still go to the top rope after getting thrown off the last 4,298 times?

[The Dames 0]

And that guy who always gets shoved aside when a heel wants to use his chair... why does he always look so surprised when it happens? Get out of the way, already!

That's usually the timekeeper....but the poor guy just wants to sit down! Yeah, it happens all the time to him, but it's happened to Lillian and Finkle a few times. Oh, and he has slow reaction time too.

 

Dames

[Guest eiker_ir]

ok, why does Jerry Lawler aaaalways wearing his wrestling tights when he's commentating, he never wrestlers, i've always wondered bout that....

[The Dames 0]

Why should anyone on the roster care what the fans think? They're just there to kick someone's ass and settle a beef. Not entertain. Unless of course we're exposing the business. Is that what you want dames? To expose the business?

If the fans care, they pay to see you...and you make more money. You figure "hey...I can beat this guys ass AND make more money. Might as well do it in front of these fans....and show the guys in the back too not to fuck wit me".

 

Dames

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

Wrestling in general is free of logic.

Why should two guys who don't have any beef whatsoever have to go out in front of a crowd and wrassle'?

Why do it in front of a crowd at all?

Answer me this!

[The Dames 0]

ok, why does Jerry Lawler aaaalways wearing his wrestling tights when he's commentating, he never wrestlers, i've always wondered bout that....

Very rarely does he get involved....but when he does, he wants to be ready! That and the old bastard thinks its "cool".

 

Dames

[Guest Goodear]

Because they get paid to do it and can charge the fans to see it?

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

Dames is God!

[Guest Goodear]

How come the police only come out to arrest faces but never heels?

[Guest Nevermortal]

I got one.

 

How can a 400 pound black man impregnate an 80 year old white woman with a hand?

 

Answer me that, Dameson!

[The Dames 0]

Wrestling in general is free of logic.

Why should two guys who don't have any beef whatsoever have to go out in front of a crowd and wrassle'?

Why do it in front of a crowd at all?

That one is simple!

 

These guys all think they're the best wrestler....or are trying to be. So, they want to be the World champ cuz they get all the money and the fame. So, how do you prove to everyone that you're the best or as good as some of those guys.....you do it in a public forum! If they think you're great, you get a push and you're closer to your goal.

 

Dames

[Guest Goodear]

Finger Sex ... the question really is, why was the hand white? Mae's got some answering to do!

[Guest razazteca]

When DDP became lost all of his money in a match and became homeless who picked him up in the Limo?

 

why do most faces seem to be comedians? and heels seem to be sarcastic power hungry bastards?

 

why do most wrestlers seem to come out of the shower during their entrance? Give them a towel damn it!

 

What is more shiney Vasaline or Baby Oil?

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

Your answer was great, except for the push aspect. We're talking in a kayfabe sense here. There is no management in kayfabe land.

[The Dames 0]

So Dames... Why does Ric Flair still go to the top rope after getting thrown off the last 4,298 times?

There have been rare occasions where he's hit the move....sometimes a cross body...and he's won World Title's this way. Flair is CONVINCED that if he hits it, MATCH IS OVER BABY.

 

Dames

[The Dames 0]

Your answer was great, except for the push aspect. We're talking in a kayfabe sense here. There is no management in kayfabe land.

Not necessarily.....think about it. Let's say the fans REALLY like you and pay to see you. Wouldn't the General Manager want to place you against the guys at the top of the card? See, you're getting closer to your goal.

 

Dames

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

Why is a backbreaker called a backbreaker when it doesn't actually break the back? Sure it's the attempted goal, but it's rarely, if ever, happened. Shouldn't it be called Backbuster?

 

(Yes I got that from EWR)

[Guest Goodear]

When DDP became lost all of his money in a match and became homeless who picked him up in the Limo?

 

why do most faces seem to be comedians? and heels seem to be sarcastic power hungry bastards?

 

why do most wrestlers seem to come out of the shower during their entrance? Give them a towel damn it!

 

What is more shiney Vasaline or Baby Oil?

The Truth Commision... because diamonds are a cheif export of Africa.

 

Because the faces and heels are all trying to get a psychological edge through playing the dozens. To get into each other's heads so to speek... with a BURNNNNN!

 

Because under those hot lights you can get dehydrated really easy, so its best to get all moist before the match to keep cool.

 

Baby Oil

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

Your answer was great, except for the push aspect. We're talking in a kayfabe sense here. There is no management in kayfabe land.

Not necessarily.....think about it. Let's say the fans REALLY like you and pay to see you. Wouldn't the General Manager want to place you against the guys at the top of the card? See, you're getting closer to your goal.

 

Dames

General Managers are not a constant, though. And in kayfabe land, all it would take to get the title, is be the best wrestler. Not be more entertaining.

[The Dames 0]

When DDP became lost all of his money in a match and became homeless who picked him up in the Limo?

 

why do most faces seem to be comedians? and heels seem to be sarcastic power hungry bastards?

 

why do most wrestlers seem to come out of the shower during their entrance? Give them a towel damn it!

 

What is more shiney Vasaline or Baby Oil?

DDP was picked up by Ted DiBiase, who had inside info about the NWO years before it started and tried to recruit DDP from the get go due to his affiliations with Hall and Nash.

 

Faces know that the fans just want to have a good time, so they make jokes to seem cool. Heels are sarcastic power hungry bastards because they don't have time for that shit, they just want the title NOW.

 

Wrestlers always pour water of themselves before they come out because if they're slippery when they get into the ring, their opponent can't put them in a devastating hold!

 

Baby Oil is shinier, ask Ahmed Johnson.

 

Dames

[Guest Ravenbomb]

How come the police only come out to arrest faces but never heels?

 

I do believe that Austin had McMahon arrested on Raw once, and there've been other cases where the heel was arrested

[The Dames 0]

General Managers are not a constant, though. And in kayfabe land, all it would take to get the title, is be the best wrestler. Not be more entertaining.

But there's always been a President or a Commissioner or someone. You get in good with them by lining up their pockets, they'll show some appreciation

 

Dames

[Guest evilhomer]

OK Dames, try this one on for size.

 

How about when Heel A is fueding with Face 1. Heel A, being a good cowardly heel, is deathly afraid of Face 1 - in a tag match, Heel A runs away from Face 1 and tags in his less cowardly partner heel, unless of course Face 1 has been weakened by his partner, then Heel A will fight Face 1 until Face 1 gets his strength back, Heel A runs away again.

 

*cue to post PPV payoff where Face 1 defeated Heel A, Face 1 is now fueding with Heel B, Heel A now fueding with Face 2*

 

Scene is another tag match, with same heel/heel combo, and the same face/face combo. Heel B is now afraid of Face 1, and Heel A is the courageous one not afraid of Face 1 (but possibly afraid of Face 2 who he wasn't afraid of before).

 

The second part isn't hard to figure out, Face 2 suddenly gained enough strength to scare Heel A, same with Face 1/Heel B. But why is Heel A suddenly no longer afraid of Face 1?

[The Dames 0]

How come the police only come out to arrest faces but never heels?

Come on now....even in the movies cops are dumb. Why should wrestling be any different?

 

Dames

[The Dames 0]

I got one.

 

How can a 400 pound black man impregnate an 80 year old white woman with a hand?

 

Answer me that, Dameson!

Weight has nothing to do with it, but the wonders of science does. Besides, both Mark Henry and Mae Young were so dumb that they actually thought she was pregant....we know now she never was!

 

Dames

[Guest notJames]

How come wrestlers drive their car on the parkway, yet park their car on the driveway?

 

[The Dames 0]

Finger Sex ... the question really is, why was the hand white? Mae's got some answering to do!

I could have sworn the hand was a pinkish color.

 

Dames

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

General Managers are not a constant, though. And in kayfabe land, all it would take to get the title, is be the best wrestler. Not be more entertaining.

But there's always been a President or a Commissioner or someone. You get in good with them by lining up their pockets, they'll show some appreciation

 

Dames

So if Presidents and Commisioners are in charge of who get where, what's the point of winning matches? If entertainment is only valued, why not just shorten matches to 3 minutes, allow 20 minute promos to get characters over and scatter backstage segments throughout the show?

 

...Nevermind.

 

Seriously. By that logic, winning matches takes a back seat to pleasing fans. But this surely can't happen...in the Kayfabe Kingdom.