Commentary: On the Road Again

[Guest Grand Slam]

December 17, 2002

 

Well, with the show delayed a night, I got the chance to stop by a local indy fed and check out some of the talent with King. Man, I have to say, traveling with King and trying to stay inconspicuous are mutually exclusive. People just gravitate to him. Anyways some of the kids looked pretty good. Green, but good. King is thinking about signing a couple of them for the JL. They need some work, but that's what the JL is for isn't it?

 

We were driving into Providence and listening to a radio station that had switched over to all Christmas music. King kept rolling his eyes, but I didn't change the channel. After all, I was driving so I get to pick the station. Besides, I love this time of year. King asked if he could catch some z's, and I was wide-awake, so I said "sure." He was gone in seconds.

 

So here I am diving effectively alone through New England, which at this time of the year is pretty freakin' bleak. And I got to thinking, "What the hell am I doing?" I retired in April to spend more time with my family, to watch my son Chris grow up. But a mere eight months later, I am back on the road with the SWF as an announcer, talent scout and road agent. Thank God King's JL duties lightened up enough for him to take over the Talent Relations office full time. I think that job was giving me an ulcer. I've actually been away from home more often than I used to be because of the extra day I spend in Chicago at the office.

 

This week is a killer. Listen to this travel log. Even with both shows delayed, I still had to be in Chicago on Thursday afternoon, so I caught an early flight out of Lincoln. I stayed there overnight and watched some try-out tapes with King and Stubbs on Friday. Saturday morning, I caught an early flight to Hamilton for Storm. Good show, and Bobby was on that night. Damn, sometimes it takes everything I've got just to keep up with him. I think Riley has found his true calling as a color guy. After the show, I hopped in the rental with Thugg and King for the drive into Buffalo for the Sunday night house show. Think of that image. The smallest guy was in the passenger seat. I rented the car (last one Avis had) so I was driving and Thugg was crammed in the backseat. Fun ride... Customs, of course, was all over Thugg. I don't think I've seen him that annoyed in a long while. We didn't get into our hotel until close to nine in the morning, and believe it or not, there was a group of kids there looking for autographs. I crashed for a couple of hours, met King for lunch at Subway and headed to the arena.

 

Good show that night, and the crowd was into it. Sunday crowds are hard to get going sometimes, and going up against Armageddon didn't really help matters. But the boys kicked some ass and the fans left happy. King and I got back to the hotel in time to order the last half of the PPV and watch our former teacher and mentor Shawn bump like a maniac for Hunter. Man, it looked like both guys were just dying by the end of that match. We felt for them. The replay ended at like 2 in the morning. King stumbled off to his room and I collapsed into bed.

 

Monday was an off day for the boys but King and I were in the car again after a good continental breakfast at the hotel. We made the rounds of a few of the training centers in the area, grabbed a quick meal at a Friendly's and headed off to the NEPW show. On the way there I got a call on the cell from Lynn. Chris has some sort of stomach virus and she is taking him to the pediatrician. Good thing her job has health benefits for family. The SWF is pretty proactive with health benefits for the workers, but with the premiums they pay, there is no way they could insure our families too. So we watch the show, sign some autographs for both fans and the boys and head to the hotel. And, thanks to the very classy TBS, there were three tapes at the desk for us. A copy of Clusterf*ck 2002, last Friday's Storm and the just completed Raw.

 

Believe it or not, I haven't watched the CF match since right after it happened. I think Sarah mentioned it a few weeks ago, and I have been dying to see it again, not to mention King and Thugg's match the same night. But, we saved that and Storm for another night. King and I zipped through Raw. One moment stood out though. As Jericho and Shawn stood nose to nose cutting a damn fine promo, it occurred to me that I was seeing the Suicide King cut a promo on the King of Hearts. King agreed and was a little freaked out by it. Decent show, but I fell asleep before the Steiner interview.

 

The alarm woke me up in time for a fast workout (Ye Gods... that's the first gym I've seen since Wednesday!), then a quick lunch with Sarah. I just got to the arena an hour or so ago. The show is in five hours and the boys are just starting to arrive, so the writing staff is meeting in... ten minutes. Bobby and I sit in and make notes so we know the thought process behind the angles we push, so I'll be there for a couple hours. Then it is time to play road agent and help the boys with the matches, then Showtime. TV days are just non-stop. We work with a pretty small behind the scenes staff compared to the WWE so everyone is doing at least three jobs.

 

So I look back at the last few days and I wonder why I am here. My wife and (sick) kid are a couple thousand miles away in a warm house by a fire looking at the Christmas tree and eating dinner. I'm here in a chilly, gray office / locker room trying to write up a report on the show last night. In a couple of hours, I'll give her a call and she will catch me up on what's going on since yesterday, then I'll tell her goodnight. We'll do our show, Lynn will watch. She's been around the business long enough to appreciate it even if I am not working anymore. Then I'll hang out after the show and see how it went, talk to my friends and then hop in the car with King and Sarah for the drive to the airport. Luckily, Sarah lives close enough that we fly together a lot. That's better than a lot of the boys who have a real lonely flight home every week. I'll get home around 3 or 4 in the morning, drive home and collapse into bed. I'll get Wednesday and Thursday this week before I have to fly out again to Chicago.

 

And I still wonder why am I doing this to myself? I have money, I had one of the best send-offs this company has seen, a beautiful wife at home, and yet I still hit the road five days a week. I'd like to say its because I'd get to antsy at home and need something to do, but that's not it. I can find a million things to do at home. I'd also like to say it is because Lynn couldn't stand having me around all the time after years of me being on the road. But that's not true either. I guess the best explanation is that this business gets in your blood. It's like a drug I guess. You try to get away, but it drags you back like an addiction. Every day I'm in the gym and I think, "It wouldn't take me long to get back into ring shape. I could still go." And I could, but why does every wrestler who retires come back? There's nothing to substitute for it. This lifestyle is so all-consuming that it leaves a huge gap in your life when you leave it.

 

I do this because I love the business, plain and simple. Could I come back someday to an active role in the ring? Maybe. Will I retire from the SWF altogether someday and spend my weeks limping around the house and playing with my kid? Certainly. Will I ever get this business out of my heart? Hell no, nor do I want to.

 

Keep swinging for the fences,

"Grand Slam" Mark Stevens

[Guest Ace309]

Dude. Grand Slam, you're like a Jim Ross who mystically doesn't suck.

[Guest Grand Slam]

From you Tom, that is high praise indeed...

 

... I think...

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

No BBQ sauce shills? I love it.

 

Great, great stuff. Should serve as a wonderful "why we do this" pick me up for everybody heading into the PPV.

[Guest Ace309]

Sorry, Mark. That was the most interesting thing I could say about it that wouldn't rehash the endless praise I've heaped upon everything of yours I've read. If I've offended you, please stop by chat and Judge and I will give you our "OMFG~! A LEGEND! RIGHT HERE IN CHAT!" routine.

 

mmm... hash...

[Guest realitycheck]

Mark, I'm depressed you didn't greet us from "under the 200x MLB cap".

 

A neat... travel log... non-kayfabe applying... uh, thing. Yeah. I can't really classify it. But I liked it. (Y)

 

-Z

Who's in-depth comment machine has apparently broken down.

[Guest Grand Slam]

Sorry, Mark. That was the most interesting thing I could say about it that wouldn't rehash the endless praise I've heaped upon everything of yours I've read. If I've offended you, please stop by chat and Judge and I will give you our "OMFG~! A LEGEND! RIGHT HERE IN CHAT!" routine.

 

I appreciate that Tom, I really do. And rehashing endless praise is perfectly fine... I have a fragile ego. Just think, King is always around to tear me down...

 

Mark, I'm depressed you didn't greet us from "under the 200x MLB cap".

 

A neat... travel log... non-kayfabe applying... uh, thing. Yeah. I can't really classify it. But I liked it. (Y)

 

-Z

Who's in-depth comment machine has apparently broken down.

 

My hat is nowhere near that big. 7 3/4 fitted. And I just had this great image of Stevens and King kicking back and watching HBK on WWE lately and thinking, "Damn..." I had to wrap something around it.

 

King and Edwin have encouraged me to write stuff like this on a more regular basis. So here is the question, does anyone else want to see it?

[Guest kelloggs]

I do, if only to learn more about your character for commentary purposes and how to write a quality promo.

 

M. "crawls back into his cage" Francis

[Guest CED Ordonez]

It's a Hoss Report, sans Hosses, therefore it's damn spiff.

[Guest Powerplay]

I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I think it's a great. Much like the Ross report, but minus Bradshaw. Anyways, keep it up!

[Guest HVilleThugg]

Wonderful...absolutely wonderful. I think stuff like this...you know, that tells about life behind the characters and such, is awsome. When I first read that you, me, and King were riding together...I thought...what? I hate King...then I realized you were talking about OOC, not the show stuff...and it was awsome. That's the first time I've seen anyone write, promo or otherwise, about the friendships between SWF personalities outside the ring. Very well done...and of course, it's always good to see the Heavy Hitter getting in the action a little bit. now, all we have to do is get you back into the ring, and it'll be all good.

 

Da "yep...in the ring with ya!" H