Guest converge241 Report post Posted December 27, 2002 i know we had "ask Metal Ed" a while ago..but much like Winger.. i "cant get Enuff..im still hungry" in life we all face situations where we must ask.. what would metal ed do and perhaps Hit Parader ace reproter Kinetic can use his "special connection" with Mr. Bonham to give some insight for instance, if im presented with tickets to see Erasure and Flock of Seagulls reunino concert, in order to decide i must ask WWMED i would think: forget that sissy homo music with their big hair , makeup, and girlie clothes..go home , break out the rock box to the sweet sounds of poison and Europe Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Incandenza Report post Posted December 27, 2002 Hey, I'll take your Erasure tickets. Just go back in the closet with the Rock Box as your surrogate phallus. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest converge241 Report post Posted December 27, 2002 do you like to go to hypothetical concerts? if so ill have some more tickets for you asap Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted December 27, 2002 This is like one of them quandries and I been in a situation like this before. Few years back, my buddy Matt won some tickets to see Better than Ezra up here in Wausau and he wanted me to go with him. I was all like, "Shit, dude, I ain't goin to see none of that sissy pop crap." I started doin some soft air strummin, like a pussy, singin "It was good...a-living with you. Wa-ah!" He told me to go fuck myself and I ended up havin to crack his skull. Matt got the last laugh, though, since he ended up hookin up with this real hot drunk chick at the show and banged her in his mom's station wagon. I seen her around town a couple times and...damn. Just...damn. She ain't even big or nothin. So I figger you oughta go to this concert, even if it is sissy bullshit. Concerts always got chicks at 'em. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest YouDaFoo Report post Posted December 27, 2002 My friend is trying to steal the girl I am in love with. Metal Ed what would you do? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted December 27, 2002 I'd crack his damn skull, first of all. I can't respect no dude who tries to steal another man's woman. Unless he just wants to do her. I can see the allure in that. But I figger if he's tryin to steal her from me for good, I'd definitely have to take a tire iron to the side of his head. I'd probly tie him up to some railroad tracks after that and laugh maniacally as I curl my mustache. That'd be bitchin. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sandman9000 Report post Posted December 28, 2002 Metal Ed, which do you prefer? Rocking out, or cracking skulls? You have to choose one, no doing both simultaneously. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted December 28, 2002 Rockin out is a labor of love, dude. When I put some bitchin metal shit on the Rock Box and get to bangin my head pretty good...that's what I live for, man. Crackin skulls is what I have to do when punk asses go and get their names on Metal Ed's list. I'd prefer to never crack a skull, but shit's always happenin and Metal Ed can't just sit around and let people fuck with him. I have to crack skulls. Simple as that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest YouDaFoo Report post Posted December 28, 2002 Metal Ed, what do you think of rap music? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vern Gagne Report post Posted December 28, 2002 The Crue, Meta Ed. Your opinion. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted December 28, 2002 Metal Ed, what do you think of rap music? I ain't even gonna go so far as to call it music. Just a buncha dudes who if they ain't talkin about slicing throats and killin hos, there talkin about buyin a boat full of champagne. Don't do nothin for Metal Ed. If they was talkin about impending doom, Satan, mutilating babies, or havin a good time on Saturday night, I might reconsider. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted December 28, 2002 The Crue, Meta Ed. Your opinion. It's Metal Ed, first of all. You're edging towards my list with all this Meta Ed bullshit, dude. I ain't grippin my tire iron yet, but I got one eye on it. Believe that, man. Anyway, it's pretty well known that I'm a big fan of the Crue. Way back in the day when they wore all that black leather shit and did "Shout at the Devil" and all that...that was bitchin. Then later one when they all started wearin leopard print shirts and did "Girls, Girls, Girls"...that was bitchin, too. "Dr. Feelgood" and "Kickstart My Heart" get me to bangin my head pretty good when I put 'em up on my Rock Box. A lotta people don't care much for that shit where they wore the pig masks, but I thought it was pretty bitchin. Me and Matt went to go see 'em on the "Generation Swine" tour and they tore the fuckin house down, dude. Just goes to show that just cuz you're bloated doesn't mean you can't rock out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest kingkamala Report post Posted December 28, 2002 I've got tickets to an 80's revival concert headlined by Dokken and the supporting act is Warrant, nobody wants to go with me, should I crack skulls for a chance to see Dokken and Warrant? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest YouDaFoo Report post Posted December 28, 2002 Metal Ed who was the fattest girl you ever pumped? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted December 28, 2002 I've got tickets to an 80's revival concert headlined by Dokken and the supporting act is Warrant, nobody wants to go with me, should I crack skulls for a chance to see Dokken and Warrant? Shit, man, Metal Ed'll go with ya! Where do you live at, dude? We could make a big party out of it. I'll bring a couple of big chicks and a bag of Cheetos, you can bring a keg and maybe some weed and then buy the rest of the food and the tickets. That'd be bitchin. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest kingkamala Report post Posted December 28, 2002 I've got tickets to an 80's revival concert headlined by Dokken and the supporting act is Warrant, nobody wants to go with me, should I crack skulls for a chance to see Dokken and Warrant? Shit, man, Metal Ed'll go with ya! Where do you live at, dude? We could make a big party out of it. I'll bring a couple of big chicks and a bag of Cheetos, you can bring a keg and maybe some weed and then buy the rest of the food and the tickets. That'd be bitchin. Doesn't sound like a bad idea. My cousin Mark is interested but cousin Mark is a little strange... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SP-1 Report post Posted December 29, 2002 If you were trapped on a desert Island with Carmen Elektra and the members of Scorpion, whose skulls would get cracked in the pursuit of food first? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted December 29, 2002 Metal Ed who was the fattest girl you ever pumped? As far as I remember, that was Bobbie Jo from up to the Huddle House. She can't even work there no more on account of her obesity, but that's where I met her at. I went to visit her house once she was confined to that bed and things sorta escalated from there. I put some Poison on her stereo and gave her what I got to give her. I ain't gonna lie and tell ya that Metal Ed wasn't a little intimidated by her, neither. Gettin up on her was like mountin one of them big rafts at the water park. I mean, she musta been at like 390. She wasn't too mobile in bed, neither. I pretty much try to keep 'em under 300 pounds since then. I learned my lesson. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted December 29, 2002 If you were trapped on a desert Island with Carmen Elektra and the members of Scorpion, whose skulls would get cracked in the pursuit of food first? I figger you're talkin about The Scorpions. They're pretty bitchin. I saw 'em with Cinderella once a few years back and they blew me away, man. I ain't never banged my head like that before. I ended up drivin in the wrong lane on the way home. I reckon that if I was on a desert island and had to eat one of 'em, I'd probably eat them, though. First of all, there's more of 'em. Second of all, Metal Ed ain't no fag, so Carmen Electra probly allow me to do a skinny chick once before I drowned or starved or whatever. I figger I'd probly crack all there skulls before it was said and done, though. Then I'd tread water and float back to shore, like I saw on Magnum P.I. this one time. I figger if a pussy like Tom Selleck can do it, ain't no reason Metal Ed can't tread water. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest YouDaFoo Report post Posted December 29, 2002 MetalEd, how big is your trailor? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted December 29, 2002 I can answer that for him. Metal Ed doesn't live in a trailer. He lives in a shack. His mother lives in a trailer, as do many of his "big chicks." Metal Ed can't afford that sort of luxury, unfortunately. How do I know this? I'm the world's leading Metal Ed historian, that's how. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vern Gagne Report post Posted December 29, 2002 Metal Ed, what do you think of rap music? I ain't even gonna go so far as to call it music. Just a buncha dudes who if they ain't talkin about slicing throats and killin hos, there talkin about buyin a boat full of champagne. Don't do nothin for Metal Ed. If they was talkin about impending doom, Satan, mutilating babies, or havin a good time on Saturday night, I might reconsider. Why would Metal Ed notice or care about a spelling mistake? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest kingkamala Report post Posted December 29, 2002 Metal Ed, Limp Bizkit, what's your opinion? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
