What's a good rib for payback on someone?

[Guest Spit Green Mist]

Smart marks... I need your help. A friend of mine played a rib on me and is threatening many more to come. What are some good ribs to play on someone? I'm not talking about cheap ones either (IE Putting shaving cream on them while sleeping, crank calling them at 3 am, etc.)

 

I need the good stuff.

 

Smarks usually have the most creative minds and most witty sense of humor. Help a brotha out here.

 

Thanks

[Guest Flyboy]

Gnomes.

 

Plenty of gnomes.

[EL DANDY~! 0]

Flyboy and his gnomes...will the madness never end?

 

But yeah, gnomes usually do the trick, problem is communication and finding common ground, but oh well...if the price is right...

[Guest Flyboy]

Flyboy and his gnomes...will the madness never end?

Don't EVER confuse me with cwm.

 

*cringes*

[Guest SP-1]

Eh, gnoming someone has been done. I daresay, completely owned by CWM by this point.

[Guest Flyboy]

You could just fuck his GF as the greatest prank.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

When you go to their house again, swipe some clothes of theirs. Then build a scarecrow frame and put the clothes on it. Hang a sign with your friend's name on it and burn the figure in his front yard.

 

If that doesn't get the point across, I don't know what will.

[Guest EQ]

Can you describe the prank your friend played on you? Then I can think of something that would top it. I LOVE playing pranks on people.

 

Here's a mediocre one I played on my friend Tim. He posts here as EL DANDY~!

 

Click to read it

 

Special thanks to Dames for the assist on this prank.

[Guest IDrinkRatsMilk]

Break into his house at night or grab him off the street or something and tie him up. Cover his face in a mask of duct tape (if he has facial hair, it depends on how cruel you want to be), and write something weird on the forehead in pigs blood or something. Show him a mirror, or just make sure he knows what it looks like. Anyway, eventually rip it off his face and send him back home. Wait about two months and then leave the mask stuck on his front door in the middle of the night. I did this once, it worked like a charm.

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

Drug 'em with a sedative, so he's basically in a deep sleep for 12 hours. Shave a stripe down his legs, dress him up like RuPaul, and put a gay porno mag over his face, and a dildo in his lap.

 

TAKE PICTURES. POST THEM HERE.

[Guest Angle-plex]

If you know how, and the person has a car, hook his brakes up to his horn. That way, every time he stops at a red light, the car horn goes on.

[Guest Sassquatch]

Teabag.

[Guest Gimmick Poster.com]

Or you could just shit on his doorstep. No brains involved there and easy. Unless you are constipated.

[Guest The Metal Maniac]

If they have a car, take the hubcaps off, and shove some ball bearings in, then fire 'em back on.

 

When you start moving the car, or stop, they'll make enough noise to be heard, but won't make a sound when the car is at a decent speed.

 

Or get like...some Nair or something...like, a liquid kind of hair remover...and put it in his shampoo bottle.

 

Or, if your friend is dumb, just give him some Ex-Lax and tell him it's chocolate. (The sad part is, this has WORKED on people).

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

Fuck, give him Ex-Lax AND chocolate. Especially works if he's lactose intolerant~!

[Guest Gimmick Poster.com]

Why are you giving this guy ideas that are so elaborate? The guy came onto a wrestling message board and asked it's inhabitants about "ribs" instead of being creative and coming up with his own. The guy has the mental compacity of a trash compactor and the garbage truck it's attatched to. This guy can't hook up breaks to horns and build scarecrows and such. You have to suggest something that involves no brain power, just natural instincts, and shitting on his doorstep is that.

 

So shit my friend, shit on his doorstep.

 

But the Ex-Lax would cause embarrassment on a wider scale. Of course you could just feed him ice cream and get the same results.

[Guest IDrinkRatsMilk]

Fine, here's a less elaborate suggestion. Point behind him, say "Look over there!" and kick him in the balls.

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

Make an official Government type flyer/leaflet and write a diatribe from your local politician about how the guy is a convicted sex offender and as part of his parole it's the Governments duty to inform you all that he is living in your neighborhood. Distribute to as many houses as you see fit.

 

If you REALLY want to take that to the next level, post a sign on his front lawn with the aforementioned message on it, complete with your countries flag and everything.

 

It sounds silly, but if you distribute the flyer to even 20 houses, there's bound to be at least one or two people that call around to inquire about it.

[Guest IDrinkRatsMilk]

LotC's idea is really good, actually. Even after it gets revealed as a hoax, he'll never be able to get the stench of 'sex offender' off him. It never goes away.

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

Why are you giving this guy ideas that are so elaborate? The guy came onto a wrestling message board and asked it's inhabitants about "ribs" instead of being creative and coming up with his own. The guy has the mental compacity of a trash compactor and the garbage truck it's attatched to. This guy can't hook up breaks to horns and build scarecrows and such. You have to suggest something that involves no brain power, just natural instincts, and shitting on his doorstep is that.

 

So shit my friend, shit on his doorstep.

 

But the Ex-Lax would cause embarrassment on a wider scale. Of course you could just feed him ice cream and get the same results.

As someone who's known Spit for years, I think I can vouch for him being a pretty creative guy.

[Guest Ravenbomb]

wait until he's asleep. Then put his hand in some warm water. Then...pee on him.

[Guest Gimmick Poster.com]

If he is so creative, he should go off and teach the guy a lesson of embarrassment he shall never forget. Here, the only thing he shall find are pranks so complex that only an evil genius or a guy with no job or life could pull off.

[Guest TheArchiteck]

Damn yall have some vicious ideas.....to the point of getting a death warrant.

[Guest midnight_burn]

Cutting the brakes on his car i find works like a charm.

[Guest Spit Green Mist]

basically we went for a drive... we went to eat... and he left me with the check and drove away... i wasn't walking distance from home. I had to call my brother to come get me. He's still bragging about it now. So now... It's payback!

 

I was thinking of getting his phone cut off... Ya know... All you need is the autorization number

 

10 pizzarias to his house one after the other when he's still sleeping on the weekend may be good

 

chicken broth in his shower head

 

all these ideas i came up with... I wanted to see if anyone had anymore suggestions. I've gotten some good ones so far... And this may be useful to those of whom want to start a war with friends....

[Guest IDrinkRatsMilk]

If you're calling 10 pizzarias why not take it a step further? Every delivery service in town, plus local news, police, the whole deal. His whole street will be clogged. You might want to tell them to show up at about 5 minute intervals, for practical reasons.

One other suggestion, there's this stuff you can get from a medical or veterinary supplies distributor called (I think, don't quote me) cadaverin. It's concentrated corpse stink, used to train search and rescue dogs. I'm sure you could think of lots of things to do with that. One drop could likely make you puke and will likely never come out, so be careful with it.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Take some salt and pour it into a big swastika in his yard. It'll kill the hell out of the grass.

[Guest Renegade]

Make him eat his parents.