PROMO: First Impressions

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

Deep inside the town of Wyckoff, New Jersey an abandoned theme park rusts silently. The night mist hangs heavy in the air, floating above the ground in the same way bricks wont. The low mist parts and reforms around a pair of white wrestling boots. The fog tendrils up the White and red trenchcoat held tightly around a slightly chilled Annie Eclectic, looking around and frowning as her breath nearly freezes solid an inch abover her face.

 

"This surprise better be a portable heater, that's for sure... where is he?"

 

Annie walks through a broken wrought iron gate, gaining entrance to what used to be a magnificent amusement park. An old wooden rollercoaster track fences in most of the park, blocking any prying eyes from the outside. But then again, why would anyone spy on a dumped out theme park?

 

"Calm nerves, Ann. All that old Clan junk is leaving you paranoid and crazy... I mean, look at you, shivering alone in a park... and you're talking to yourself."

 

...

 

"Shut up, Annie"

 

The silent woman walks up the stairs leading to the start of the roller ride. The cart remains at the start of the track, the paint chipping off the slightly rotting cart.

 

"No one takes care of you anymore?"

 

Walking up to the front of the ride, she notices the large pink wooden heart nailed to the head of the cart. A message is partially readable, letters worn off with time and weather...

 

Ro oa R f o e

 

"SO YOU LIKE ROLLERCOASTERS, EH?"

 

Annie wheels around to see her stablemate, CIA standing by an equally disused merry-go-round.

 

"I'VE ALWAYS LIKED THE HORSEY RIDES MORE, EH!"

 

Eclectic walks over to CIA, who is grinning ear to ear through his mask. A really really eerie smile since you can only see his mouth and eyes....

 

"Welcome, Annie. I hope you realize the importance of being here."

 

"Well," said Annie, "Not really. We're in the armpit of jersey surrounded by thrill rides that don't work. 'Importance' isn't the first word that comes to mind."

 

"That's allright Ms. Eclectic, I have a few tricks up my sleeve."

 

With that, the Intelligence Agent reaches up and grabs the brass ring held out on a post at the center of the ride. suddenly a door recedes from the center column and shifts left, revealing a secret door.

 

"Ladies first."

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

While slightly cramped, both Annie and CIA fit into the high tech room inside the merry-go-round pillar. In front of both was a small screen with a thin microphone sticking out on top of it. The monitor read "Password Check".

 

"Password?" asked the confused Eclectic.

 

"Yep. You're a full fleged Carnie now, and I've been a bit lax showing you around the place. Now, the password!"

 

Both athletes stood silent inside the tube.

 

"Well?" asked Annie.

 

"Well..... guess, eh!"

 

With a sigh, Annie leaned forward as much as room could allow and silently spoke into the microphone....

 

"Love Rollercoaster"

 

Access Denied

 

"Humph.... Union Jack"

 

Access Denied

 

"Oi vey.... poofnar?"

 

Please Amplify Your Request

 

"What?"

 

"You aren't loud enough, " spoke CIA quietly, "You gotta speak up. eh."

 

Annie sighed.

 

"Poofnar"

 

Please Amplify Your Request

 

"POOFNAR!"

 

Please Amplify Your Request

 

"POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR

RRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

Password Accepted

 

"Whew! I thought we'd never get..."

 

*thwump*

 

....and then the floor disappeared.

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"...dooooOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNN---UMPH!"

 

*thud... thud*

 

Annie and CIA both hit a large... something, and bounce off. CIA lands perfectly on his feet while Annie rolls and tumbles in a not-too-healthy fashion before coming to a stop ten feet away from where they landed.

 

"Are you OK, eh? It takes a while to get the hang of it, don't you know... Maybe we should make it an airbag instead..."

 

Annie gets to her feet and starts to dust herself off.

 

"Yeah... I've taken worse bum....p...s..... Is that a Spamburger???"

 

CIA turns his head behind him and looks at the fifteen foot high spamburger facsimile that they just bounced off of.

 

"Well.... it's more of an homage to spamburgers"

 

"...It's a spamburger."

 

"Well, it's pretty old. No one's going to eat it. That makes it an homage, doesn't it?"

 

"I guess... so, this is Carnie HQ?"

 

CIA smiles that eerie smile through his mask once more.

 

"Headquarters! Expansive, robust, anything you might need, and let us know if you do need anything, eh? You're one of us!"

 

"Thank you," Annie said, smiling.

 

The two stablemates begin to walk.

 

"Yep! Quick tour, behind us is the training room, to your right is the locker/shower room, to our left is the personal quarters..."

 

"What's that room up ahead?"

 

"Oh, that's the AG room! Wanna do a little Assault run? Tower's been feeling kinda lonely lately, eh."

 

"Tower? AG room?"

 

"Yeah! AG. American Gladiators!"

 

"Ohhh.. uh, wait. I'm not letting some musclebound freak take potshots at me just because I happen to get more dates than he does..."

 

"Well, in that case we could lock you up in one of those steel ball things with Zap."

 

A clouded look gets into Annie's eyes.

 

"Hmmm... is she any good at massages?" she asked lustily.

 

"...WAIT! I wanted to show you something important! We can't let ourselves be distracte... OOH! Hockey night on TSN!"

 

CIA runs forward down the hallway which emptied out into an expansive meeting room, replete with video monitors up and down the walls. CIA synchronizes a four by four set to become a giant hockey game in front of him. Plodding up, Annie looks at the screen, and then at her partner.

 

"CIA?"

 

"Hmmm?"

 

"You wanted to show me something?"

 

"Uh... shoot, We came in here for... uh.... why did we come here again Annie?"

 

From behind the two, a yawning Luchadore walks out from the door to the personal quarters. Looking up he smiles at his two other stablemates.

 

"Hola, Seniorita Annie y Senor CIA. I hope you enjoy where you'll be training for the next long while!"

 

"Hey yo ELM! Incredibly happy to be taken in and to become a full fledged member of the Midnight Carnival! But..."

 

"But? Is there something wrong, chica?"

 

"Well...."

 

CIA spins around to face the woman.

 

"Well? Isn't it great?"

 

"Yes, but, well... maybe it could use some curtains... a couple portraits or paintings... a couch. Maybe a floral pattern... what do you think?"

 

The blank stares from her teammates last for a while. Then a longer while. Then a short tiny while followed by a long lumbering while before being cut off by a normal-sized while. This, was soon followed by loud, howling, unbridled laughter. Annie E simply stood with her arms crossed and head down...

 

 

"Oh, never mind. I'm tired. Thank you so much for bringing me here, and I'll just go to my room."

 

"Certainly, seniorita! We apologize but... well, no windows... no curtains *snicker* Right this way..."

 

Oh well, all men, just me. I can handle it.

 

"And please, if you hear a thumping sound by your door, it's just the spamburger begging for treats. Just ignore it, we only feed it in the morning and afternoons."

 

....maybe...

 

---------------------------

 

 

END PROMO

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

Very enjoyable, I liked it.

 

Keep it up and keep promoing!

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

whew... I was hoping I'd get a comment sometime...

 

-Annie

[Guest kelloggs]

First solid work Annie. It's traditional Midnight Carnival and I'm very happy to see the carnies get back to crazy promoage.

 

I wasn't around for POOFNAR and the like so I'm looking for this new carnie incarnation to build some memories that I can tell new JLers about.

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

POOFNAR!!!!

 

 

Sweet promo.

 

~Michael "Still Wishes He Was A F'n Carnie" Craven~

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Nice work, Annie. I like the idea of Annie, who is currently the most serious out of this bunch, having a little trouble getting into the Carnie spirit. There's a ton of potential there, for feuds, matches, promos, and so on. A big change like that is one of the best hooks for character development.

 

One though, though. Considering that Operation P.O.O.F.N.A.R. was masterminded by Chris Raynor and the King of Hearts--the two giganto traitors to the Carnie Cause--you'd think they'd have been stricken from the record. Though, in truth, none of the current Carnies were around during P.O.O.F.N.A.R., so perhaps it's merely homage to the past they never knew.

 

::reads way too much into a simple gag::

 

::is definitely in the right major::