SWF LOCKDOWN'S "FROM THE VAULT" MATCH!!

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

WOW, here we are, thinking of what tonight's "From the Vault" match should be... Flink vs Comet crosses my mind, but we might want to save that treasure for later. Stubby vs Bob Riley is brought up as well, but a Stubby match right now may depress some people... and then, Zed gets an idea. WHAT SAYS "CLASSIC~!" MORE THAN AN ASH KETCHUM MATCH!? Yes, that's right, this beauty is from the famed [and fucktarded, too!] Genesis II tournament, and is possibly the biggest upset in the SWF history. Michael Craven [then Ash Ketchum] was a measly JL'er, having to give Crusen head night after night just to beat Soul Assassin. Chris Raynor was a terribly accomplished superstar, having done better stuff than whatever Ash had done. The audience saw this as a guarenteed squash, but were all in awe when Ash pulled out the win with a JUMPING MEW DRIVER~!, a move ALMOST as devestating as it sounds. So, here it is, in all of it's glorious glory! The upset of the century written by a man with no grasp on the laws of physics... ASH KETCHUM VS CHRIS RAYNOR FROM 08.31.01... ENJOY!!

 

NOTE: I'll give you all a better match next week, I promise.

 

 

(After another showing of Ash Ketchum’s new Chef Boyardee commercial, IGNWF Storm returns to a sold-out Pepsi Arena in Denver, Colorado as the crowd rises to its feet, blowing the roof off the arena with the loudness of their cheering. The camera pans over the entire crowd, then focuses in on a few fan-made signs, reading" ALL YOUR BELTS ARE BELONG TO THE IGNWO!!!" "Come back, Stubby!" "Marry Me, Sarah!" "Vince Fears Originality (That’s why he steals from the IGNWF)!" "Jamie Bjork still 5u><0r5!!!" and "I came to see Ash!". The camera shot then switches to the announcer’s table, where the IGNWF’s Dynamic Announcing Duo, Curry Man and NTD, await the next match.)

 

Curry: Welcome back to IGNWF Storm, live from a sold-out Pepsi Arena in Denver, Colorado! Joined as always by my announcing partner, the Pantless Wonder, NTD, I’m the Spicy One, Curry Man-

(Before Curry can go any farther, or before NTD could speak, the lights go out, the arena going pitch black. "Electra Made me Blind" by Everclear starts playing. After the opening riff, Art Alexakis screams "YEA!" and right after that, blue pyros go off around the stage. The lights come up, and once the singing starts, Chris Raynor emerges from backstage. He removes his Midnight Carnival jersey and throws it to the crowd, then makes his way to the ring.)

 

Funyon: The following IGNWF World Title #1 Contendership tournament is scheduled for one-fall! Introducing first, from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, weighing in at 250 lbs., he is a member of the Midnight Carnival… CHRIS RAY-NORRRRRRRRR!!!

 

Curry: Chris Raynor has a huge advantage in his match, facing a temporary IGNWFer, Ash Ketchum.

 

NTD: But remember… we are now in the (super-dramatic) "CRIPPLING OF THE CARNIVAL!!!" section of the show.

(Raynor hops up onto the turnbuckle and enters the ring between the ropes. Before he can do anything, the lights go out as the opening guitar solo of Sum 41’s "Fat Lip" kicks up, whipping the crowd into a frenzy.)

 

Curry: As Bobby Riley would say, get ready!

 

NTD: For what?

(As the rest of the instruments start up, a huge red pyro blast goes off and the song continues. The explosion is so powerful it shakes the camera focused on it. It also affects NTD, who, shocked by the sudden blast, nearly falls out of his chair. Curry snickers as NTD regains his composure with a stern look on his face.)

 

NTD (pissed): Damn, Curry! Tell me when these things are gonna happen!

(Curry just sighs. Raynor looks back up awaiting Ash as the spotlight shines on the stage, but no one is there. Raynor exits the ring, hopping off the apron as the lights come back on. The crowd cheers loudly as they spot what Raynor does not: Ash holding a kendo stick. Raynor turns around to see what the fans are cheering about, but as he does, Ash twirls the kendo stick once in his hand, catching in as it spins back to its starting position, and with both hands, cracks it over the head of Raynor. Chris falls to the concrete as Ash drops the stick, bending over to pull Raynor up and slide him into the ring under the bottom rope. Ash slides under the bottom rope and the bell rings, starting the match.)

 

NTD: A sneak attack from Ash Ketchum! If I had Raynor attack me, I’d do the same!

 

Curry: Come on! You know that was Rane! It’s a set-up!

(Ash gets up, grabbing Raynor and pulling Raynor up, placing Chris in a headlock. Ash tightens the hold, but Raynor delivers a elbow shot to Ash’s ribs. Ash holds on, but cries in pain, and does so again as Raynor delivers another rib elbow shot, but continues to hold on. Raynor brings his elbow back and hits Ash a third time in the ribs, the former IGNML TV Title Champion releasing Chris this time as he grabs his ribs, still sore from his hellacious IGNJL European Title match. Raynor runs, bouncing off the opposite ropes and extends his arms out, nailing Ash with a running clothesline as he charges back at Ash. Ash takes the blow and slams hard into the mat, but he gets back up. Ash walks toward Raynor, but Chris grabs Ash, lifting him up into the air and dropping Ash’s Poke Balls onto his knee with an inverted atomic drop. Ash grabs his groin and rolls around in pain as he hits the mat. Raynor stomps at Ash with his right leg. Ash takes each stomp in pain before Raynor bends over and pulls Ash up. Taking hold of Ash’s right arm and placing a hand on Ash’s back, Raynor whips Ash to the ropes, then bounces off the opposite ropes. On the rebound, Raynor extends his right leg out, connecting and leveling Ash with a huge big boot! Ash slams hard into the mat, his head whipping back and hitting the mat.)

 

Curry: What a boot from Chris Raynor! He almost knocked Ash Ketchum’s head off!

(Raynor bends over, grabbing hold of Ash and pulling him back up onto his feet. Once on his feet, Raynor grabs Ash’s head, bring his hand back in a fist and hitting Ash with a overhand punch or two. Raynor grabs Ash around the head, dragging Ash under his left arm and placing a hand on Ash’s back as he drops Ash into a quick DDT. Ash gets back up slowly after the DDT, grabbing his head as Raynor makes a speedy recovery. Raynor moves closer to Ash, but Ash quickly grabs Raynor around the waist with both arms in a waistlock, then, placing his head under Raynor’s left arm, flips Raynor back as Ash bends back into a release northern lights suplex. Chris is flung across the ring, slamming hard into the mat with his back, but he flips himself up quickly, landing on his feet just as Ash gets up. Ketchum charges at Raynor, leaping sideways into the air and spinning clockwise as he extends his leg out. Ash connects, nailing Raynor in the face with an Air Ketchum. Raynor falls back to the mat, his head hitting the canvas as Ash lands on the canvas.)

 

Curry: Air Ketchum from Ash Ketchum! I believe he’s the only wrestler to use that move in the JL or WF!

 

NTD: Well, tell me these things. I know s*** about this JLer.

 

Curry: You’re kidding, right?

(Ash and Raynor get up, but Ash takes advantage, grabbing hold of Chris and delivering a few punches to his head. Once up, Ash grabs hold of Raynor’s arm, whipping Chris to the ropes. On the rebound, Ash bends down, catching Raynor in a sideways scoop slam position as he whips Chris into a powerslam! Raynor’s back crashes into the mat. After the powerslam, Ash releases Raynor, getting up. As Raynor gets back up after the powerslam, he lunges at Ash. Ash sidesteps, missing Raynor as Raynor gets on his feet. Chris turns around just as Ash places his hands behind Raynor’s neck, intertwining his fingers and dropping to the mat in a sit-down position. Raynor bends forward and bounces back, whipping his neck back after the sit-down jawbreaker as Raynor lands on his back hard. As Raynor passes by, Ash holds on, stopping Raynor as he begins to head toward the ropes. Ash quickly spins , holding onto Raynor’s arm as he places Raynor in an arm wrench. Raynor grabs his shoulder and cries out in pain, but Ash pulls Raynor back toward him. As Raynor nears Ash, Ash brings his leg back and forward again, extending his knee out and driving it into Raynor’s chest. Raynor cries out in pain and bends forward as Ash releases Raynor’s arm, instead grabbing Raynor around the neck with his right arm and lifting Chris into the air, dropping Chris head first into the mat with an Inverted DDT.)

 

Curry: A quick Inverted DDT from Ash Ketchum! (Ash rolls Raynor onto his back and hooks Chris’ leg, causing the ref to make the count as he drops to the mat…)

 

One…

 

 

 

Two- Raynor kicks out with authority!

 

NTD: Chris Raynor is far from done! This match won’t end THAT quick!

(Ash slowly gets up onto his feet, releasing Raynor’s leg. Once on his feet, Ash stomps at Raynor with a series of quick right stomps. Raynor takes all of them to his ribs, grabbing his ribs as Ash bends over and pulls up Chris Raynor by the head. Once on his feet, Ash grabs hold of Chris’ arm, whipping Raynor to the ropes, but Chris counters, sending Ash to the ropes. Ash bounces off the ropes, but suddenly, Raynor charges at Ash. Ash drops to the mat as Raynor closes in, sliding under the Carnie’s legs. Ash hops up onto his feet after he clears Raynor as Chris spins around. With Chris facing Ash, the X Force 9 member leaps into the air at Chris, extending his feet out as he hits Raynor square in the face with a standing Rocket Launch. Raynor goes down, falling back, his head smacking into the mat once again.)

 

Curry: A variation of the Rocket Launch from Ash Ketchum! That’s normally a top-rope move!

 

NTD :But this isn’t an ordinary match! It’s a shot to get a shot to get a shot at the IGNWF World Championship! Imagine what would happen to the careers of Raynor or Ash if they won that title!

(Raynor gets up under his own power grabbing the back of his head with one hand as he staggers a little bit toward Ash. As Ash moves in toward Raynor, Raynor brings his knee up into Ash’s gut. Ash grabs his gut, crying out in pain as he bends over forward. Raynor back steps, bouncing off the ropes, aimed at Ash’s head. Raynor leaps into the air, bringing his right leg up and down as he brings his left leg up. As Raynor brings his left leg down, Ash brings his head up, narrowly causing Raynor to miss Ash with the scissors kick. Ash counters, bringing his knee up into Raynor’s chest. The Carnie cries out in pain as he bends over forward. Ash leaps up into the air, bringing his left leg up and down, but bringing his right leg up and down onto the back of Chris’ head, dropping Chris face first to the mat with an Air Ketchum Deux!)

 

Curry: Wow! Ash ducks a scissors kick from Chris Raynor, then delivers a scissors kick of his own!

 

NTD: Raynor just got nailed with a move he rarely uses! However, Ash uses that move quite a lot, so he knows how to do it better, I suppose…

(Ash stands there, staring down at Raynor. Then, Ash places his right foot beneath Raynor and flips him onto his back. Ketchum turns around, climbing up to the top rope as he faces thew crowd. Once on the top rope, Ash positions himself to face Raynor, then quickly leaps off, contracting his arms and legs quickly before extending them back out as he flies at Raynor, landing on Raynor with an amazing five-star frog splash with a sickening thud! The momentum from the move causes Ash to bounce off Raynor and roll a few feet away. Ash grabs his ribcage in extreme pain from the move and squirms around in pain as Raynor lies in much pain. Ash slowly gets up, grabbing his rib cage. Ash bends over, pulling Raynor up onto his feet by his head and wrapping an arm around Raynor’s right arm and neck for The Bind, but as Ash brings his knee up, Raynor makes a fist with his free hand, bringing it back and forward into the chest of Ash. Ash releases Raynor for a second in surprise, but in that second, Raynor bends straight up, grabbing Ash around the waist in a waistlock and bending back, flipping Ash back into a belly to belly suplex! Ash slowly gets back up as Raynor hops up onto his feet. Ash grabs his chest, moving onto the ropes and resting on them as he faces the crowd. However, the ring is no place to rest, and Raynor sneaks up behind Ash, grabbing the top of Ash’s jean shorts between his legs and rolling Ash up into a roll-up pin! The ref drops to the mat and begins the count…)

 

One…

Two-Ash kicks out, causing Raynor to release Ash.

 

NTD: A kick out by Ash Ketchum before Chris Raynor could pin Ash’s shoulders to the mat!

 

Curry: Chris Raynor is unrelenting, even to his own friend Ash! Just imagine what’ll happen if he gets his hands on IGNWF World Champion Chris Wilson!

 

NTD: And just imagine what would happen if Edwin MacPhisto got his hands on another blender and ran down to the ring! It’d be nuts!

(Raynor and Ash both get up, but Raynor takes a swing at Ash. Ash ducks, sliding behind Chris’ head. Raynor becomes confused, but Ash grabs Raynor around the head and arm, locking Chris in a standing dragon sleeper. Chris thrashes his arm in pain, but Raynor refuses to give up. Instead, the Midnight Carnival member uses his noodle. While still trapped in the move, he takes his free arm and drives that elbow into the side of Ash. Ash refuses to let go, so Raynor repeats again and again until on the fourth try, when Ash releases Raynor. Raynor quickly slides around behind Ash, grabbing the Undercard King around the head and quickly dropping him back into a quick reverse DDT. Ash’s head hits the mat as he stays there for a second. Raynor recovers fast, getting back up and waiting for Ash. Ash gets back up in a daze, staggering around in the middle of the ring. Raynor takes advantage, leaping back toward the ropes as he gets off. Ash he bounces off then, he is shot forward in a black blur, grabbing Ash around the head with his right arm and dropping Ketchum into a running bulldog. Ash recovers slowly as Raynor gets back up. Ash staggers a bit toward Raynor, Raynor grabs Ash, lifting him up into the air and twisting him around before dropping Ash hard to the mat with an impressive tilt-a-whirl slam. Ash lands hard on his back and doesn’t move as Raynor places his right foot in between Ash’s legs, wrapping them around his right leg as he flips Ash over onto his chest and applies the sharpshooter! Ash screams out in pain, desperately trying to get to the ropes.)

 

NTD: Sharpshooter from Chris Raynor! Ketchum’s in major pain right now, but Ash is close to the ropes! Can Ash make it to the ropes in time, or will he be forced to tap out?!?!

(Ash reaches out, reaching for the ropes. Raynor pulls harder, but Ash extends his body out more, grabbing hold of the ropes. The ref sees this and calls for a rope break. Raynor reluctantly releases Ash, but he bends over, grabbing Ash by the head and pulling him back up onto his feet. Raynor quickly knees Ash in the gut, causing Ash to bend over forward. Raynor then grabs Ash as he bends over, his body over Ash’s back as he waistlocks Ash. Raynor then lifts up onto his shoulders and slams Ash’s back into the mat with a gutwrench powerbomb! Ash’s head smacks into the mat hard, and he doesn’t get up immediately after the move. Raynor gets back up, bending over and picking up Ash, pounding at Ash with right hands as he does so. Once Ash is up, Chris Raynor grabs hold of Ash’s right arm, and with a push-off from Raynor, sends Ash into the closest turnbuckle. Ash’s back smacks hard into the steel turnbuckle, and Ash sits in the turnbuckle, tired and somewhat dazed. Raynor follows up his whip by bringing his right hand back and forward in the form of a chop across Ash’s chest, the move extracting a resounding "Woo!" from the Denver fans that echoes throughout the arena as Ash grabs his chest in pain. Another chop results in the same thing, but Raynor stops, climbing up to the second rope. Making a fist with his right hand, Raynor brings it down on Ash’s head, the crowd responding with "One!". Raynor pulls another, and another, each time the crowd responding with a number. "Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!". The crowd almost cannot keep up with Raynor’s rapid pace. The ref yells at Raynor to get down, and he does so, grabbing hold of Ash’s right arm and pushing him off into a whip. Ash flies into the opposite turnbuckle, facing Raynor as Raynor charges at Ash, slamming into Ash with a slingshot into the corner. Raynor bounces off Ash and backs up as Ash stagers out of the corner. Bending over to one side, Raynor catches a stumbling Ash in a sideways scoops slam position, then spins around, slamming Ash to the mat with a powerslam! Raynor hooks then leg of Ash, and the ref drops to the mat, starting the count…)

 

One…

Two…

Th-Ash kicks out!

 

Curry: Almost had him! Raynor just need to punish Ash a little bit more and he’s got this match won!

 

NTD: I thought that the match would end like that! That would have been a horrible way for this match to end! I wanna see someone hit their finisher before it ends!

(Raynor gets up slowly, releasing Ash’s leg and grabbing Ash, pulling him up as well. Once Ketchum is on his feet, Raynor punches Ash in the face, causing Ash to reach up and grab his face. Raynor quickly gets behind Ash, grabbing Ash under the armpits as they face back to back. Raynor then lifts Ash high up into the air, setting Ash up for a powerful Razor’s Edge, but Ash quickly hooks the arms of Chris Raynor, sliding down off Raynor’s back and onto his feet. Ash then drops onto his knees, sliding Raynor down his back into a backslide pin! The ref makes the count as Ash pins Raynor’s shoulders to the mat…)

 

One…

Two-Raynor kicks out, causing Ash to release him.

 

Curry: Another opportunity for Ash Ketchum to end this match, but he can’t seen to keep him down long enough!

 

NTD: Neither can Chris Raynor!

(Ash and Raynor both get up at the same time, Ash onto his feet first, but Raynor follows a few seconds later. Ash reacts quickly as Raynor takes a right-handed swing at Ash, ducking the punch and bringing his palm back, then forward into the chest of Chris Raynor with a powerful palm strike, but before Chris can collapse to the mat from the blow, Ash ducks down, clenching his right hand into a fist and driving up under the chin of Raynor with a rising uppercut. As Raynor is stunned by the blow, Ash grabs hold of Raynor’s right arm, quickly reaching it before he hooks the right leg of Chris Raynor, spinning around and back as he drops Chris Raynor into the Pikaslam! Raynor lands hard on his back, and just as quickly as Chris hits the mat, Ash grabs hold of Chris’ right leg, bringing it up into the air and pulling and twisting the leg into a standing ankle lock. Raynor cries out as Ash tightens the hold, but Raynor grabs a handful of rope and Ash releases Chris under orders from the referee. Pulling Chris up by the head, Ash grabs hold of Raynor’s arm and whips him to the ropes, but Raynor counters, sending Ash flying. On the rebound, Raynor catches Ash, setting him up for a spinebuster, but Ash counters, wrapping his legs around Raynor’s neck and flipping Raynor forward into a hurracanrana. Raynor hits the mat hard, landing on his back, but he rolls over onto his belly and begins to push himself up on hands, getting up on his knees. Ash running swinging neckbreaker that plants Chris Raynor back on the mat!)

 

Curry: Running swinging neckbreaker from Ash Ketchum! Another variation of one of Ash’s common moves! How many is he gonna pull out of his bag of tricks tonight?

 

NTD: I can’t say for sure, but anything that’s legal can and probably will happen tonight in this ring!

(As Chris Raynor recovers from the sudden impact of the swinging neckbreaker he just took, he begins to get up. Ash, meanwhile, rises to his feet as the crowd begins an "Ket-chum!" chant, clearly showing their alliance with the Undercard King. Raynor gets onto one knee, a hand placed on the mat. He uses that hand to push himself up, facing away from Ash. As he spins back around, Ash takes both of his hands, bring them back before he wraps them around the throat of Chris Raynor and squeezes. Raynor frantically waves his arms in the air as the 250-lb. Ketchum lifts Raynor’s feet off the mat and into the air. Raynor’s feet dangle as Ash continues to apply the double choke hold lift, but suddenly, Ash thrusts Chris Raynor up into the air, Raynor’s body becoming parallel with the mat, his face facing down. Ash then grabs Raynor around the neck quickly, twisting Raynor’s neck to the right as Ash drops to the mat, falling back as he and Raynor hit the mat with a echoing "THUD!" as Ash Ketchum finishes off the Sidewinder! Ketchum sits back up as the crowd cheers loudly. Ash climbs up onto his feet, looks down at Raynor and back up again. He brings his right arm and hand up and makes his signature split-finger victory sign with his right index and middle fingers. Raynor lies on the mat, twitching only a little bit.)

 

NTD: Ash is gonna go for something big! This might be the Ashes to Ashes! That should put Raynor down for three seconds!

 

Curry :If Ash hits the Ashes to Ashes, then Raynor will be eliminated from the tournament because that move should keep the Carnie down for the three-count!

(Raynor lies down on the mat as Ash goes over to the turnbuckle, climbing it, positioning himself so he faces the crowd. Raynor staggers back up onto his feet after the painful Sidewinder and turns to face Ash. Ash then leaps off the turnbuckle at Raynor, twisting to the left into a Whisper in the Wind. As he flips, he positions himself so his head faces Chris, lining himself up, then continues the flip. When he gets near to Chris, he grabs him by the neck and flips forward into a flipping neckbreaker, but Raynor grabs hold of Ash’s head, catching the Undercard King in the middle of the ashes to Ashes! Before Ash can react, Raynor spins around, dropping Hash and himself to the mat with Raynor catching Ash in a powerslam position as he crushes Ash with a jackhammer! Both men smack the mat hard, but Raynor hooks Ash’s leg as soon as they hit the mat, placing his right leg in front of Ash’s right leg to prevent Ash from breaking free!)

 

Curry: HOLY ****! BIG TIME COUNTER FROM CHRIS RAYNOR! (The ref drops to the mat and begins to make the count…)

 

One…

 

Two…

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! ASH GETS A SHOULDER UP AT THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND! RAYNOR IS IN SHOCK!

 

NTD: NO WAY! Chris Raynor jackhammered Ash and Ketchum is still not out of it! He’s not human! No one could survive that!

 

Curry: Well, Ash just did!

(The crowd is in a total frenzy as an "IGN!" chant kicks up in the rowdy Denver crowd. Raynor slowly gets up, grabbing hold of Ash and pulling him up, too. Once Ash is on his feet, Raynor grabs Ash, shoving him hard into the turnbuckle. Ash slams into the turnbuckle so hard, he bounces out, stumbling out as he grabs his back. Raynor drops to his knees, his back facing Ash, and right about when Ash is about to trip over a kneeling Raynor, Raynor leaps up. He grabs Ash under the arm pits, then falls forward, slamming Ash face first into a reverse Razor Edge, the Acid Rayn! Ash lies motion less on the mat for a second as Raynor slowly pushes himself up after the move.)

 

NTD: ACID RAYN!!!! ACID RAYN FROM CHRIS RAYNOR!!! Good night! Rane’s plan to punish the Midnight Carnival has just backfired!

(As Raynor stands back up, the crowd goes nuts, cheering and facing the entrance way, where Pikachu enters, running down the ramp.)

 

NTD: WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! What’s this?!?!

(Raynor, facing the opposite way, does not see Pikachu as it slides into the ring and pulls a taser out of a hidden side pocket, standing behind Raynor. As Raynor turns around, Pikachu lunges at Raynor, shocking Raynor with a huge blast of voltage! Raynor screams in pain as he crumples to the mat. Running over to Ash, Pikachu helps Ash up onto his feet, helping him to the turnbuckle. Ash grabs hold of the top rope, and in one quick step, brings one foot, then the other, up onto the top of the turnbuckle. Turning around, Ash looks down at Pikachu, who has Raynor in its hold and is dragging him in front of Ash. Pikachu drops Raynor, sliding out of the ring as Ash extends his arms out to the sides, quickly flipping himself forward 270 degrees into a swanton bomb a la Sean O’ Haire, his shoulders and upper back colliding with the sternum of Chris Raynor!)

 

Curry: SAKE BOMB FROM ASH KETCHUM! What an explosive move from the normally calm Ash! He’s never done that before!

(Ash bounces off Raynor as Chris grabs his chest, rolling about in pain. Suddenly, outside the ring, Pikachu removes its mask, revealing Pikachu to be none other than… Misty!)

 

Curry: Misty has saved the a** of Ash Ketchum! Ash was surely about to be finished off by Chris Raynor after that Acid Rayn!

 

NTD: SO?!?!?! She interfered! DQ Ash, you stupid ref!

(Ash slowly gets back up, grabbing the back of his neck in a bit of pain. As he staggers onto his feet, he stumbles over toward Raynor. Bending over, he grabs hold of Raynor’s long hair and pulls Raynor up with it. Once Raynor is pulled onto his feet, Ash ducks down, sliding Chris up onto his feet. The former IGNML World Champion is helpless as Ash jumps into the air, swinging Chris Raynor over his right shoulder and placing Chris’ head between Ash’s legs. Ash then drops to the mat in a sit-down position, still in mid-air after he jump as he falls to the mat with a severely painful jumping Mew Driver! Raynor’s head makes heavy impact with the mat, and the resulting "THUD!" brings concern to Curry Man.)

 

Curry: OH MY GOD! A JUMPING MEW DRIVER! RAYNOR MAY BE PARALYZED FROM THE NECK DOWN!

 

NTD: But did you hear that sound? That’s flesh and bones being crushed on the mat! (As Raynor falls forward, Ash bends over, hooking one of Chris Raynor’s legs.) Here’s a pin!

 

One…

 

Two…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!

*Bell rings*

 

Funyon: Your winner… ASH KET-CHUMMMMM!!!

 

Curry: What an upset from Ash! But there’s no way Raynor could’ve kicked out of that jumping Mew Driver!

 

NTD: Ash pulled out all the stops in this match and he well deserves the victory! But how will this affect the friendship of Chris Raynor and Ash Ketchum? I guess only time will tell us…

(As Ash leaves the ring, Misty hugs him, and the two head backstage, disappearing behind the curtain which separates the locker rooms and the entrance stage. Meanwhile, in the ring, with help from the referee, Raynor gets back up, holding his head and slowly exiting the ring, making his way to the ramp.)

 

NTD: Well, he’s OK. I think. But look what this has done to the tournament! Another JLer upsets a WF veteran! First, it was Edwin MacPhisto getting beaten, but now Chris Raynor joins his stablemate!

(The tournament bracket appears, with Ash’s name in the second round bracket. The other winners are listed as well, but the bracket is still not complete, as the other matches still must be fought.)

 

Curry: But still to come, it's "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens vs. John Kruger on IGNWF Storm!!!

(The screen, showing Raynor slowly making his way back up the ramp, fades away to the Sydney Sky Pepsi Max commercial, the crowd cheering being replaced with the commercial’s music.)

[Guest Kibagami]

I think we're all very lucky to have escaped what could've been a very uncomfortable situation.

 

And by that I mean we might've had to take something called a "Jumping Mew Driver" seriously.

 

The horror.

 

K.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

Oakly777: So Raynor..

Oakly777: Tell me...

HighRes1: Tell you what?

Oakly777: *HOW* did you survive that jumping Mew Driver!?

Oakly777: HOW!?!?!?

HighRes1: DIE!

HighRes1: GO AWAY AND DIE SOMEWHERE!

HighRes1: NOW!

[Guest chirs3]

Bah. Losing to Ash is nothing to be ashamed of!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

... STOP LAUGHING!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alright, fine! You asked for it, TNT!

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

And slowly, veeeeeeeery slowly, painfully slowly, we return to the Alltel Arena and come upon fans, cheering loudly. Those merchandise-wearing folk, with their Ash Ketchum foam fingers and their Suicide King shirts, and their foam World Title belts, and their ELM action figures, are excited, all trying to get on TV, some with signs, reading:

 

“Where’s the Funny Hat, Flesher?”

 

“I Went To Smarkdown, And All I Got Was This Stupid Sign!”

 

“BOBBY RILEY IS MY GAY LOVER! JUST KIDDING!”

 

and

 

“Pokemania Is Runnin’ Wild In Arkansas!”

 

And after we see some of those signs, we switch to the anoouncers table, where we are greeted with a big, happy-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Riley: I CAN’T BELIVEVE IT’S NOT BUTTER!!!!

 

Stevens: I told you it was Icee-Hot.

 

Bobby Riley is in excessive pain, grabbing his balls and crying as Stevens looks away, not wanting to see the mess under the table.

 

Riley: IT BURNS! IT BURNS! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

 

Stevens: Well, duh, of course it’s gonna.

 

Riley: WAIT! WHERE’S THE FIFTY BUCKS YOU BET ME?!?!?!

 

Stevens: Excuse me? I never bet you $50 dollars to put butter, much less anything on your balls! You wanted to “grease” them up yourself!

 

Riley: NEVER MIND THE $50! I GET IT LATER! NOW JUST GET ME SOMETHING TO STOP THE BURN... NOW!!!!

 

Stevens reaches over to the side, going thorugh a small bag’s contents.

 

Stevens: How about Advil?

 

Riley: YES! IT BURNS!!!

 

Stevens: Tylenol?

 

Riley: ANYTHING?!?!

 

Stevens: Bengay?

 

Riley: YES!

 

Stevens: ...

 

Riley: STOP THE JOKES!

 

Suddenly, Funyon walks up to Stevens and whispers into his ear something. Stevens’ eyes widen as if he were a deer looking into the headlights of a semi.

 

Stevens: What? We’re live? We’ve been live this whole time?!?!?!

 

Riley: Oh shit...

 

Stevens: Er, ummm... Welcome back to SWF Smarkdown, where, as we always say in the SWF-

 

Riley: Hey, it doesn’t feel like my underwear’s too tight anymore, Mark.

 

Stevens: Not exactly. Joined by the one, the only Bobby Riley, I’m “Grand Slam” Mark Stevens, live here in Little Rock with TNT and Ash Ketchum in a bitter duel up next! Boy, do these guys dislike each other.

 

Riley: Exactly, Stevens. As a matter of fact, these two have been trying to destroy each other over the series of about a monthful of run-ins and tag team matches. It’s been about 50-50 so far in this series, which is why my prediciton for this match is TNT to go over in a 30 second squash and end Ash’s career.

 

Stevens: Wow, that sounded intelligent. Excpet for the prediciton, which sounded a bit... nerdy. But still overall sounding intelligent.

 

Riley: Thank you. You think I’m intelligent, the burning in my pants has gone down, this night is getting better. Maybe if TNT wins tonight, then I can be happy again.

 

Stevens: Well, it looks like it’s about time for this match to get underway-

 

Immediately, the crowd boos like a mo' fo' as a few "Oy's" signal the inauguration of AC/DC's "TNT." Suddenly, the entrance curtains begin to ruffle as a dark figure emerges from the backstage area. The figure steps into the sea of red and orange strobelights, and is illuminated by them, revealed as Taylor Nicholas Thompson. The letters "T-N-T" flash across the Smarktron and just as a resounding "Watch me exploooooooooooode!!!!!" echoes throughout the arena, and the hulking mass that is Taylor Thompson briskly strides down the aisleway.

 

Funyon: The following match is scheduled for one-fall!!!! Introducing first, from Anaheim, California, weighing in at 267 pounds, he is a member of the MAGNIFICENT SEVEN and one half of the SWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... TAY-LORRR NICHOLAS THOMP-SONNNNNNNNNNN!!

 

Taylor hops upon the ring apron, flipping the heated audience off to a rather negative reaction, and steps through the ropes and into the ring. Taylor hits each corner, letting out a "KABOOM!" on each one.

 

Well, TNT sure is ready for this match, isn’t he?

 

Riley: Looks like it. He’s tough and he’s beaten Ash twice in a row!

 

Stevens: But then again, he’s had Frost by his side each time.

 

Suddenly, the lights cut out, a kickin’ piano piece blastin’ over the speakers. The crowd begins to cheer a little, pyro similar to Christian’s entrance flowing from the top of the SmarkTron and spewing from vents in front of the entrance. The crowd rises to its feet, roaring with cheers.

 

Riley: FUCK! NOW I CAN’T SEE!!!! DAMMIT, HOW CAN I COMMENTATE IF I CAN’T F*CKIN’ SEE THE MONTIOR(He realizes that the monitor is still on and he can still see it.)-Oh, never mind.

 

At the same time, a Poke Ball upon the SmarkTron. It begins to spin as the crowd pops, spinning faster and faster and faster until it stops, blocked out by a picture of a certain wrestler’s head, winking at everyone in the arena. A huge pyro blast suddenly kicks up from the front of the stage as Billy Crawford’s “Pokemon Theme” blasts through the speakers. The pyro in front of the entrance then stops, and a spotlight shines down on Ash Ketchum and Mr. Nagasaki. Turning around from his Jericho-like pose, Mr. Nagasaki on his right side, he spins, smiling happily as the crowd pops. Ash turns to look, waving into the ring at TNT, who sneers unhappily as Ketchum, and Mr. Nagasaki make their way down to the ring, slapping hands with some of the crazed fans.

 

Funyon: And his opponent, being accompanied by Mr. Nagasaki, from Pallet Town, weighing in at 258 pounds... ASH KET-CHUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

 

He climbs up onto the apron, opening the ropes to let Mr. N in, then climbs in himself. Ash then climbs the turnbuckle closest to the crowd and with lightning precision, removes his shirt. Whirling it wildly over his head, he smiles as he releases the shirt, flinging several rows back into the hands of some JD fan. JD has fans? Whatever. The young child smiles as Ash dismounts the turnbuckle, turning to face the one man he seems to have a growing hated for: TNT.

 

Stevens: To be serious... Ash doesn’t stand a damn chance against TNT. He just doesn’t have it anymore.

 

Riley: Oh, boo-hoo. Cry me a river, build a f*ckin dam, and shut up.

 

Stevens: It’s cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it.

 

Riley: But I like mine better.

 

The two men move toward each other, referee in the middle. TNT and Ash stare each other down as the referee explains the rules of the match to the two men once more. Once finished he backs off as the two men slowly back up to prevent the other from jumping them. Meanwhile, the timekeeper reaches across the table, and...

 

Stevens: Looks like we’re about to get cookin’ here in this match-up!

 

DING DING DING! The two men leap at the first chance they get, charging at each other right out of the chute. Ash strikes first, sticking his shoulder out as he hits a running TNT with a shoulder block, Taylor hitting the mat.

 

Stevens: Brutal shoulder block from Ketchum!

 

Riley: Now don’t start climaxing because Ash is winning...

 

TNT rises to his feet, just as Ash waits for him, charging at him fiercely.

 

Stevens: Ash Ketchum, TNT in the ring, the crowd on their feet as Ash-Oh! Quick clothesline from Ash, but he’s back up!

 

As TNT begins to get up, Ketchum thrusts his leg forward, Taylor catching it before it hits his chest. Ketchum flows through the move in mind, a frontflip enziguri, leaping off his other foot and into the air, kicking TNT in the jaw hard! Ash flips through the air and lands on his feet as TNT staggers back a foot or two. while TNT gets to his feet. Ketchum follows TNT, quickly grabbing his arm and whipping him to the ropes. TNT flies toward them, bouncing back quickly as Ash Ketchum ducks down, scooping TNT up across his chest as he spins and drops down, slamming TNT onto the mat with a Irish whip powerslam!

 

Stevens: HUGE POWERSLAM!!ASH KETCHUM PUTS TNT DOWN TO THE MAT, AND FOLLOWS WITH A QUICK COVER!

 

One!

 

Two! TNT kicks out! The crowd sighs as Ash grabs TNT, pulling him up onto his feet. Quickly, he grabs TNT and whips him toward the ropes, but as he does, TNT hits the ropes, tumbling over them as he tangles himself up in them. He falls onto the apron and then to the concrete, Ash Ketchum following TNT through the ropes and outside as the Explosive One’s hand travels under the ring apron.

 

Riley: Wow, outside action early on in the match! Things are about to get nasty!

 

Ketchum promptly hops off the apron, grabbing TNT as the ref tries to get a clear view of what’s going on, but as he pulls TNT up, Ash Ketchum is surprised as an aluminum baseballbat is pulled from under the ring and the handle jabbed into his brusied ribs!! Ash screams in pain, clutching his ribs as TNT delivers another shot to the bruised ribs, Ash screaming in pain once more as TNT gets to his feet, depositing the bat on the apron as he grabs the head of Ash Ketchum.

 

Stevens: AW COME ON! TNT STOOPS LOW ENOUGH TO USE A BASEBALL BAT ON ASH KETCHUM!

 

TNT quickly grabs Ash by the trunks and throws him forward, slamming his ribs into the apron before rolling him back into the ring, TNT following Ash into the ring.

 

Stevens: A cheap shot by TNT, but he’s in control.

 

Riley: YES.

 

As TNT picks Ash up, delivering punches and kicks to Ash’s chest, Taylor strikes Ash with his knee in the chest,a quick knee lift that keeps Ash bent over, allowing TNT to lift Ash up onto hiss shoulders. TNT quickly falls backwards, TNT landing with his upper body on top of Ash, who lands back first to the mat as a result of the Samoan drop! Ash lands on his back as TNT sits up, not yet done with Ash. As quickly as he can, he gets up, grabbing Ash in the process in a side headlock and pulling him up, too, but then, he quickly sprints a few feet before jumping into the air and dropping Ash down on his face with a running bulldog! Ash’s face hits the mat, and he is quickly rolled over and covered by TNT, Kivell dropping ot the mat to make the count...

 

One!

 

Two!

 

THREE-NO! ASH KETCHUM GETS THE SHOULDER UP! His arm thrusts high into the air as he breaks the pin, driving the crowd to its feet again. TNT goes slow in getting onto his knees, and then, after nearly slipping, slowly pushes himself up onto his feet, sweating semi-profusely. With Ash on his back, Taylor grabs both Ash's legs, stepping over Ash's body so he is turned onto his stomach, and pulls back.

 

Stevens: BOSTON CRAB! TNT LOCKS IN A MOVE! HE MIGHT GET ASH TO TAP OUT!

 

Riley: I doubt it, but it’d be nice if that happened.

 

Stevens: Ketchum tries to fight it, but I don’t think he can get out of this!

 

But as TNT pulls and pulls, Ash Ketchum begins to crawl, pulling his body around as he reaches out for the ropes. He misses the first time, digging even more, and more, and more, pulling TNT back a little each time...

 

Stevens: TNT has been dominating Ash Ketchum so far in this match!

 

Until he grabs hold of the ropes and gets a rope break! The referee calls for it, and quickly, TNT lets go of the hold, pissed as all hell, but Ash is once more grabbed by the head and pulled to his feet as TNT levitates Ash vertically, or in other words, picks him up.

 

Riley: Shiiiit. It’s not over yet, is it?

 

Stevens: I don’t believe so, Bobby!

 

TNT grabs hold of Ash’s head, quickly pulling him to his feet. Upon doing so, he lets Ash go and watches him totter back before TNT laps up the chance and scores with a kick to the abdomen. Ash buckles over as TNT knots his arm around Ash’s neck, going for a DDT. Ash suddenly elevates TNT into the air, lifting TNT up and countering the DDT attempt into a northern lights suplex. Ash keeps his back bridged to ensure a pin:

 

Stevens: TNT had Ketchum right he wanted him, but Ash thwarts a DDT attempt with a northern lights suplex!

 

Riley: And here’s the count!

 

One!

 

Two!

 

TH-NO! THE REF SEES MR. NAGASAKI GETTING INTO THE RING AND BREAKS THE COUNT UP! TNT gets up, stomping over to Mr. Nagasaki and attempting to knock him off , but Nagasaki ducks the blow, grabbing the back of TNT’s head, dropping off the apron and dropping TNT throat-first across the ropes with a rope guillotine! TNT staggers back from the blow as Nagasaki slides into the ring, turning around just as Nagasaki gets up, and quickly, Ash’s manager leaps into the air, spinning around as he nails TNT in the mouth with the heel of his right boot, the resulting spinning heel kick knocking TNT down as well as Nagasaki!

 

Stevens: HUGE SPINNING HEEL KICK FROM MR. NAGASAKI! HE MIGHT HAVE HIT FROST IN THE FACE!

 

Riley: Duh. That’s the point, dumbass.

 

Stevens: TNT is down, but Ahs is getting back up, and I think it’s time to dispense some justice!

 

Ash grabs hold of TNT’s head, quickly pulling him to his feet. Upon doing so, Ash Ketchum draws his arm back and lands one palm strike square into TNT’s chest. The Explosive One cries out in pain as another palm strike goes into his chest, but Ketchum responds, clenching his fist and diriving it under his chin with a strong rising uppercut! TNT falters back as Ash pitches his arm out and catches TNT by the neck. Ash tenses his hand, pushing his fingers deeper and deeper around TNT’s exposed throat in a chokehold. The crowd explodes as Ash prepares to do the unthinkable for a match like this… chokeslam TNT!

 

Stevens: ASH GOING FOR A CHOKESLAM!

 

Riley: Um…what is he thinking? Is he that dumb?

 

Ash and TNT struggle for position, rocking back and forth until TNT lands an elbow into the side of Ash’s neck, causing Ash to shrug off. Ash drunkenly stammers back from the impact with his front towards his opponent, but as TNT charges at Ash, Ketchum regains his composure as he pitches his arm out and catches TNT by the neck. Ash tenses his hand, pushing his fingers deeper and deeper around TNT’s exposed throat in a chokehold. The crowd explodes as Ash lifts TNT up, and quickly, she gets slammed down into a god almighty-

 

Stevens: CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM FROM ASH! COVER!

 

One!

 

Two!

 

Th-NO! TNT KICKS OUT! Ketchum sighs in disbelief, figuring he had TNT. The crowd is displeased as Ash still thinks he had TNT, but alas, he decides to just not argue and slowly begins to get up, grabbing his ribs in a bit of pain as TNT tries to recover from the chokeslam, grabbing his throat and coughing.

 

Riley: Get up, fool! Show Ash Ketchum what for!

 

TNT leans forward, reaching out for the ropes as Ash has slowly managed to recover and slides behind TNT. He pulls at TNT’s legs, uprooting her from the mat and pinning him on his shoulders in a rollup.

 

Stevens: Ash with the surprise roll up! TNT didn’t see it coming as Ash sneaks into the ring and rolls TNT up!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

TH- Kickout!

 

Ash and TNT quickly get up, charging at each other. Ash extends his arm out for a clothesline, but TNT ducks under it and changes direction, headed for the ropes. Ash stops as TNT hits the ropes and flies back, exploding off the ropes with a burst of speed, charging at Ketchum, forearm extended, and smashing him with a quick forearm smash! Ash hits the mat hard, hopping back onto his feet slowly, just in time for TNT to deliver a quick hook into Ash’s face, sending him staggering back a foot or two. As Ash begins to stagger back toward TNT, he grabs Ketchum. Quickly, TNT goes about waistlocking the staggering Ash, and quickly bending back, he lifts him over his head, releasing him into an overhead release belly-to-belly suplex! Ash flies through the air and lands back-first on the mat, crying in pain as Thompson lands on his back, but slowly he gegins to rise to his feet after the move. As he gets up, he staggers back toward the corner, grabbing hold of the top rope.

 

Stevens: WHAT A SUPLEX! ASH KETCHUM IS DOWN! ASH KETCHUM IS DOWN AND OUT! AND WHAT DOES TNT HAVE PLANNED NEXT!

 

Riley: Finish him!

 

As TNT grabs hold of the ropes, he pulls himself onto the second rope. Standing there for a second, he stares down at Ash before leaping off, shifting his body so his elbow points down and is the impact point on his body, flying through the air off the second rope, nailing Ash in the chest with an elbow drop!

 

Stevens: ELBOW DROP FROM TNT! WAIT, HE’S ROLLING OVER ON HIM! HERE’S THE COVER!

 

One!

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

ASH KICKS OUT! TNT can’t believe it! He’s pissed as all hell, and as he gets to his feet, he bends over, grabbing Ash Ketchum who is starting to feel the pain in his ribs. Using his quickness, TNT runs across the rings, bounding off the ropes, and flying back at Ash, he extends his arm out, connecting with Ash’s chin, nailing him with a clothesline, Ash’s back against the ropes! Ash ducks, though, catching TNT on his back, lifitng himself up. With great speed, he flips over the ropes, tumbling to the concrete and hitting the concrete in a big mess as the crowd gasps and a few screams are heard.

 

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!

 

Stevens: CACTUS CLOTHESLINE FROM TNT, BUT ASH COUNTERS WITH A BACK BODY DROP! TNT FLIPS OVER THE TOP ROPE AND LANDS OUTSIDE THE RING!

 

Or at least that’s what should happen, as when Ash flips TNT over, he grabs hold of the top rope and holds on, instead landing on the apron, nearly stepping on his bat as he reaches down and grabs it. Ketchum begins to turn around just as TNT clenches the bat in his hand and swings around, striking Ash’s ribs with a sharp “THUD!” and a small “CRACK!” perhaps as Ketchum grabs his ribs and falls over, maybe having had his ribs broken by TNT!

 

Stveens: OH MY GOD! I THINK ASH KETCHUM JUST HAD HIS RIBS BROKEN WITH THAT CHEAP SHOT!

 

Riley: Like you haven’t done that, Mark. You’ve hurt plenty of people that way!

 

Ash Ketchum lies on the ground, bleeding a bit from the mouth and rolling in pain and trying to get up as TNT lines Ash up for another shot with the baseball bat, but as he does, Mr. Nagasaki slides into the ring, reaching into his robe and extracting one lone taser gun. With a cry of “BANZAI!!!” that startles TNT, he thrusts the taser forward into TNT’s ribs, causing him to collapse to the mat, falling onto his back, the wind knocked out of him as Mr. Nagasaki helps Ash up. The crowd is on their feet, electrified right now as Ash climbs the turnbuckle with Mr. N’s help, reaching the top of the rope. After a quick glance at TNT, Ash hurdles off the top rope, and as he reaches the highest point, Ash tucks his arms and legs close to his body. Right before collision, Ash pulls them outwards in a five-star frog splash onto Wilson’s chest, causing thousands of camera flashes to off through the arena, while Ash grabs his chest as he lies on top of TNT in major pain!

 

Stevens: SNORLAX SPLASH! AN OLD FAVORITE FROM ASH KETCHUM HAS BEEN EXECUTED! HERE’S THE COUNT!

 

One...

 

Riley: Aw, hell no...

 

Two...

 

Riley: Aw, fuck NO!

 

THREE!!!

 

DING DING DING! ASH PULLS OFF THE UPSET AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!

 

Funyon: Your winner... ASH KETCHUMMMMMMMMMM!!!

 

Ketchum lies in the mat as the ref checks over him, TNT getting to his feet, grabbing his side. He looks around for his baseball bat, and finding it, clenches hold of it, attempting to lift it up so when he gets up, he can smash Ash again. The ref begins to call for help, but Ash shoves the referee away as Mr. Nagasaki helps him up. Out of the corner of his eye, Mr. N sees TNT go for the back, and reaching back into his robe for the taser, he startles TNT, who instead decides to exit the ring quickly as Ash is helped up.

 

Stevens: Don’t go away, folks, because we have more exciting action coming up next after commercial!

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

And, in all honestly, there is nothing wrong with losing to Ash.

 

A Jumping Mew Driver, though... that's another story...

[Guest Kibagami]

vandal nation: Should we kill TNT and throw his body in the ocean?

HighRes1: I don't see why not. Let me post his loss to Ash, then we can do it.

vandal nation: That sounds fair.

 

K.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

I would like to point out that that burn was completely my idea, and this is all a mastermind conspiracy arranged by me. I'm such a genius.

 

...I AM!

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

::points and laughs at the plebians::

 

::shuffles off to enjoy his 7-figure inactive salary::

[Guest Suicide King]

Only 7, Edwin?

 

Anyway, I think Ash should get serious kudos for this match, which, let's face it, was really good. No one was more surprised than myself that he beat Raynor, but hey, that just gave Stevens someone to pummel in the next round, before I pummeled him.