JR: More senile by the day

[Guest Redhawk]

JR is becoming a parody of himself. He used "hideous" twice in a 5-second span at the end of the Trish-Victoria-Jackie match, and only once did it even fit. It's like "hideous" is his pet word for whenever anhthing is bad. "My last paycheck was hideous!" "Your child is...hideous!" And I know he's a babyface, but have some kind of logic for why it's okay for the Dudleys to interrupt and why it isn't okay for Jericho. Or why Regal can't use brass knucks but Lawler can. Then there was that one part of the show where Lawler was talking about something (they had the camera on them) and JR just had no idea what he was supposed to say.

[Guest The Electrifyer]

I think that part where JR had no idea what to say was when King had that ugly Raw X Anniversary award and was talking about tonight's special, then it was JR's time to speak, he hesitated a bit, not knowing what to say, then talked about the Royal Rumble.

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

when have face announcers not had a double-standard when it comes to cheating?

[Guest Youth N Asia]

JR just sickens me these days. He hurts matches a lot more then he helps

[Guest Redhawk]

when have face announcers not had a double-standard when it comes to cheating?

It used to be more like, the heel deserved to be the victim of cheating, since he cheated beforehand. They'd at least explain it. With JR, the heel always has to shut up, he's always hideous and always deserves the blunt end of every situation just because he's a heel. But you're right, there is always a double standard. I blame the fans too, though. Wrestling is so stupid.

[Guest The Metal Maniac]

It's not like faces cheated that often anyway, because they were faces.

 

And when they did, it was pretty much just what the heel had recently done to them, like he grabbed the chair away and fired a return shot.

 

These days, Lita runs into a match, hits a 'rana, and JR has an orgasm about how great it was. But if a single heel even stands at ringside, JR is beside himself about how "hideous" it is.

[Guest Youth N Asia]

*Lita does a run in durring a Hardy Boys match and does a sloppycanrana*

 

JR: "Way to go Lita!"

 

*the heel strikes Lita for running in*

 

JR: "Goddamn that sunofabitch! He'll rot in the pits of hell!

[Guest AndrewTS]

*Lita does a run in durring a Hardy Boys match and does a sloppycanrana*

 

JR: "Way to go Lita!"

 

*the heel strikes Lita for running in*

 

JR: "Goddamn that sunofabitch! He'll rot in the pits of hell!

Yeah, or whenever Lita would get attacked in revenge even if not immediately afterward. Hey, if she's going to get involved, she deserves it I think.

[Guest The Czech Republic]

*Lita does a run in durring a Hardy Boys match and does a sloppycanrana*

 

JR: "Way to go Lita!"

 

*the heel strikes Lita for running in*

 

JR: "Goddamn that sunofabitch! He'll rot in the pits of hell!

Everything has to stop being in such grand terms. It's always

 

"Damn him! Damn him straight to the depths of HELL!"

 

"May God have mercy on our WWF SOULLLLS!"

 

and the like. It's just stupid.

 

Ross and King get off the air. Now!

[Guest Youth N Asia]

*Lita does a run in durring a Hardy Boys match and does a sloppycanrana*

 

JR: "Way to go Lita!"

 

*the heel strikes Lita for running in*

 

JR: "Goddamn that sunofabitch! He'll rot in the pits of hell!

Everything has to stop being in such grand terms. It's always

 

"Damn him! Damn him straight to the depths of HELL!"

 

"May God have mercy on our WWF SOULLLLS!"

 

and the like. It's just stupid.

 

Ross and King get off the air. Now!

I loved JR's bit about how Triple H was going to burn in hell for attacking Shawn after Summerslam.

 

I think this even pisses me off more then his Lita bias.

 

When Benoit stole Angle's medals and pretty much rested them on his penis.

 

JR: "Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho, ain't that the greatest."

 

But when Austin stole the medals, not talking about when he trashed them, just took them in the first place.

 

JR: "That sunofabitch! Those medals represent the United States of American and what we stand for! Damn you Austin!"

 

THat one really bugged the shit out of me

[Guest CanadianChick]

When Benoit stole Angle's medals and pretty much rested them on his penis.

 

JR: "Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho, ain't that the greatest."

 

But when Austin stole the medals, not talking about when he trashed them, just took them in the first place.

 

JR: "That sunofabitch! Those medals represent the United States of American and what we stand for! Damn you Austin!"

 

THat one really bugged the shit out of me

 

I remember that! I was like "Allright then..."

[Guest The Czech Republic]

It's a good thing our final judgment doesn't hinge on Jim Ross! He'll damn everyone to hell! I bet he probably damned Owen and Pillman to hell for something.

 

Fifty years from now:

HHH: "Man, hell sucks. I never should've swung that damn sledgehammer around so much, look where it's gotten me."

Austin: "No kidding, if I didn't make that heel turn back in '01 I'd probably be in the clear. Oh right. Wife-beating."

Whoever the Sooners Lost To In An Important Game: "That fucker should've been a lot more lenient with his condemnations. I mean, really."

HHH: (poses, spits molten rock)

[Guest Redhawk]

More JR questions:

 

Why is every heel's first name "Damn"? The Damn Dudleys, that Damn Kanyon, the Damn Undertaker...

 

If Triple H is such a soulless, hideous human being, why was JR gushing about how tough he is andhow great he is between January and July?

 

How come Hogan needed to "shut up and get out of the ring" before Wrestlemania, yet he "deserves respect" after Wrestlemania?

 

Does he like Vince or is Vince the Devil? He can never get that one straight.

[Guest AndrewTS]

JR insists on reminding us the wrestlers are human beings.

 

"(name of wrestler) with a damn (name of move) on another human being!!"

 

"What a SICK human being..."

 

"He's a human being, DAMNIT!!"

 

"How could he do this to another human being!!"

 

"WHAT KIND OF HUMAN BEING...?"

 

He also says "humanity" a lot, as in, like, a big group of people. All the time. "Sea of humanity," etc.

 

Yes, JR. However, they aren't aliens from outer space. There aren't space aliens in WWE. Nor do animals know how to wrestle and joined WWE.

 

*remembers A-Train, Triple H...*

 

Okay, primates do sometimes join WWE--maybe not know how to wrestle--but still it's excessive.

[LooseCannon25 0]

I agree that he uses to many of the same words over and over and over again. It's like he has a very limited vocabulary. He also uses words at inappropriate time like everything has to be heinous to him. I love how those damn dudley's were bastards when they were first heel and were powerbombing women through tables. he'd be like "those damn dudley's.....damnit....damn them.....have they no souls!!!!???"

 

but then when they turn face and they're about to hit a 3D on a table to someone like Ivory he'd be like "OH yeah.....Oh yeah......Are you ready for some wood king......cmon, give that witch what she deserves".........I just hate that hippocracy and he has really lost it over the past few years.

 

On a side note I remember the first time i noticed he would get super hyper was at King of The Ring 99 with Rock vs. Undertaker, and when Triple H, who had just turned heel interfered and pedigreed the Rock JR was like "OH, FOR CHRIST SAKE.......THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!!!! THAT GOOD FOR NOTHING, NO GOOD SON OF A BIIIIIIIITCH! DAMN HIM!!!"

For some reason whe he said that i was dying and couldnt stop cracking up.

[Guest HHHater]

J.R. isn't as senile as Vince.

[Guest CanadianChick]

Anyone notice that JR really seems to hate Y2J? For every other heel, he'll say what a hideous act they did and blah blah, but then he'll say they are a great competetor or whatnot. But Y2J is different...I can't really put my finger on it though...

[LooseCannon25 0]

CanadianChick, I know what you mena. I noticed it too. Another thing i noticed is that he likes to talk right through a Y2J promo and is ALWAYS running him down. Even when Y2J was a face JR never really got excited about him. I thin there's genuine dislike there for whatever reason. Probably because Y2J isn't over 6'3 and 280lbs. He never gives Y2J any credit, but is quick to sing the praises of how impressive Batista is when he hits someone with a freakin clothesline.

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

This was the parody I used back in the day for Ross. It still holds water:

*HHH and Foley are having a world title match at a major PPV*

JR: This is Foley's dream King!

*Foley hits HHH with a chair*

JR: GO MICK! GET HIM!

King: Oh man look at this new Trish photo! WHOO HOO!

*HHH gets up and low-blows Foley*

JR: WHY THAT NO GOOD SONOVABITCH! HOW DARE HE!?

King: WHOO-HOO!

*Foley retaliates by stabbing HHH in the stomach with a knife*

JR: YEAH MICK! GIVE THAT BASTARD WHAT HE DESERVES! FOLEY! FOLEY! MRS's FOLEY'S BABY BOY IS BRINGING THE GOLD HOME!

King: Steph is out here! WHOO-HOO!

*Steph trips Mick up*

JR: THAT JEZEBEL! DAMN HER TO HELL! BY GAWD SHE HAS NO BUSINESS OUT HERE!

*Foley pulls out a gun and shoots HHH*

JR: GO FOLEY! GIVE HIM WHAT HE DESERVES! I HOPE HE GOES TO BY GAWD HELL!

*Foley gets a two count*

JR: MY GAWD! KING THE GAME IS THE GUTSIEST BASTARD I'VE EVER SEEN! I GIVE HIM ALL THE CREDIT IN THE WORLD!

King: PUPPIES! PUPPIES!

*HHH low-blows Foley and hits a pedigree for the win*

JR: DAMN HIS BLACK HEART! HE IS THE GAME! BUT HE WON'T REMAIN THE VERY BEST FOR LONG! WHEN HE GOES TO HELL THE BASTARD!

 

It's all true to.......

[Guest CanadianChick]

It's strange. Practically everyone else on the roster, regardless of whether they are a heel or face, get some sort of praise from JR. The most Y2J gets is "he's athleticlly talented" but then followed up with an insult. Ya know, if JR is going to do that , which I have no problem with since he is the facce commetator, he should be consistent, just like The King should be consistent in cheering for heels.

[Guest Mattdotcom]

Senile JR said the Tenth Anniversary of Raw was fifteen years in the making.

 

Did I miss something? Did some prototype of RAW debut five years prior to the real RAW or something?

[LooseCannon25 0]

Good one Mighty, that was hilarious. I agree completely with that. He needs to be a little more balanced.....Like, at the very least if the face hits the heel with a chair or something he should say "well, he shouldn't do it but he's just fighting fire with fire."

[LooseCannon25 0]

Absolutely, he would say "Boy, you know that Y2J is a gifted athlete, but he's a pompous ass"........Also, he constantly messes up.....it would be every week that he would mix up the hardy boys and king would constantly have to correct him, and he constantly calls the wrong move.....If i have to hear him call the VAn Terminator "Van Daminator" one more time i'm gonna mute the TV.

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

Yeah like Gorilla!

*face cheats after copious heel cheating*

Jesse: What about that Geno Monsoon!?

Gorilla: All's fair in love and war Jess! He's just doing what was done to him!

 

if King ever called JR on it:

 

*HBK cheats after copious cheating by Jericho*

King: What about that JR!?

JR: WELL........WELL.......UMMM....*gunshot*

 

Yeah he always insults Jericho.

*jericho is walking in the back*

JR: Look at that smug look! I hope somebody knocks it off! Oh look King he's getting into his rental car! He probably by gawd stole it because he has no integrity! He's running like a scalded dog!

King: He's leaving JR. He already had his match where he won fair and square and now he's going to the hotel.

JR: I tell you this! If Jericho thinks that tainted victory tonight will stand then he's got another thing coming! He's gifted but he's no Rock! He'll get what's coming to him!

King: You are hopeless......

[LooseCannon25 0]

Absolutely, he would say "Boy, you know that Y2J is a gifted athlete, but he's a pompous ass"........Also, he constantly messes up.....it would be every week that he would mix up the hardy boys and king would constantly have to correct him, and he constantly calls the wrong move.....If i have to hear him call the VAn Terminator "Van Daminator" one more time i'm gonna mute the TV.

[LooseCannon25 0]

That Monsoon Ventura stuff was classic though compared to JR and King...and that was in the age of kayfabe.

 

*Randy Savage pokes Hogan with a thumb to the eye*

 

Gorilla : Oh, did you see that Jess....The guy just stuck his finger in Hulks thumb...cmon get in there ref...do your job"

 

Ventura: I didnt see that Gorilla....I think it was just an open fist slap.

 

*Hogan returns the favor and rakes his nails down Savage's back*

 

Ventura: Oh, what about that Gorilla....what about your hero now. What he just did was dirty and he should be disqualified"

 

Gorilla: Hey, Jes all's fair in love and war and he's just doing what he had coming to him"

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

The best was Jesse calling Hogan "the luster" at WM5. "Here comes the luster Gorilla! He's got his eyes on Liz to! And this guys a role model!?"

God I miss heel announcers being heels.

I mean when would Jesse Ventura have a match with William Regal!? He'd probably be helping Regal beat JR up!

[Guest AndrewTS]

Senile JR said the Tenth Anniversary of Raw was fifteen years in the making.

 

Did I miss something? Did some prototype of RAW debut five years prior to the real RAW or something?

I remember he screwed up either on the year of the rumble that HBK won or when he won the title--or both.

 

Constantly mixing up Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit.

[LooseCannon25 0]

To get off topic for just a sec, I have to say that Jessie's comments about Hogan at WMV especially after the win was totally shoot and legit feelings. He was right on the money when he said how much of an egomaniac Hogan is and how he makes him sick. I dont know, i just felt his comments sounded like they were coming from the heart.

[LooseCannon25 0]

How about when JR was talking about i forgot which PPV it was recently and he said something to the effect of "Right here in Chicago where WrestleMania III was held" I was thinking right there that was totally senile