What a Great Show? Eh? and how about those promos?

[Guest HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

Title is the Description and The Description is the Title. WHAT A ZANY WAY TO POST THIS!

 

Show is still going up though...

[janusd 0]

(Y) @ Spike being a total nutjob in all his promos. You had me laughing at your zany antics~!

[Guest Chuck Woolery]

Via the magic of editing, match be gone.

 

Nice show overall. Card continues to be impressive, Wildchild wins (I mark), and Hollywood promos. A lot. Funny, yes... but chill with the caps. Please.

[Guest HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

Losing Match thread Mike....

 

 

But who cares?

[Guest Crowe]

My god at all those promos, Spike. You gotta be on speed to write all that.

 

Crowe

[Guest Goodear]

Keith Scott Half Assed Review of SJL Metal for January 16, 2003.

 

I don't have a book coming out.

 

I didn't buy and DVD's this week.

 

This is going to be my shortest recap ever.

 

And away we go with Fishheads, Johnny Fishheads starting us off with ... TALKING. Because nothing gets people excited like a promo. Where ARE MY CANADIANS? Damn you SJL. Anyway, old Johnny is still pissed off about making out with a pair of boltcutters via Fugue and losing the World Title to the Mag Sevener. So he makes the challenge for a last man standing match in the steel cage. Fugue in a cage is always good for a laugh, since he's sure to go WACKY. I can deal with that.

 

(OOC “Oh, look! A black one!” is the funniest shit ever...)

 

FOUR MAN BATTLE ROYALE OF DOOOOOOOOOOM: CAW CAW vs. T-Shirt vs. M...V...S vs. Lil' Spike Jenkins Still no Canadians in the ring, I'm not sure I care about this. I guess this thing is supposed to be a prelude to the SWF Clusterfuck, but I have my doubts as to whether of these guys will even be in the thing. Prove me wrong. And away they go, and they immediately try to push each other over the top... which I guess is a good idea if you want to win a battle royal. Sharpe pulls out his "I'm bigger than everyone else" card and starts the Diesel roll. But the other guys aren't just going to let that happen and start hitting him in the crotch. And out goes Sharpe after some triple teaming. So, the only face in the match is the first to go? The remaining three go on a wrestling spree and end up using a nice sequence off a counter to Crow's DDT. MVS then quickly disposes of Spike with a spring board kick and knocks Crow's brains in with a chair shot! OOOOPHA. And here comes Natasha to probably lick Crow again, as King says one of the nasiest lines ever and I quote, " bet Natasha’s wet right about now, Crow is cumming blood" EWWWW. Grossed out by that line, MVS jumps out of the ring with an assist from Crow. Match was a little too quick and didn't have enough time to develop any sort of roles for the guys. * 1/2 ... WAIT I DON'T RATE BATTLE ROYALS! ARGHHHH I'M MELLLLLLLTING.

 

Lil' Spike Jenkins is in the back, tuckered out from that rough battle royal and tries to pick up Goth Girl Natasha. Hilarity insues. No, really this is actually pretty funny as Spike basically makes an ass out of himself and everyone in the area. Then he challenges Chris Card to a match for next week.

 

Speaking of Chris Cross... JUMP JUMP here he is to battle out with The Other White Luchadore. Natasha... sans Boris joins the commentary team again this week in what has become one of the better running bits of the SJL. She's actually pretty good on the stick for eye candy and Card is CANADIAN so you know he's good. Card and IL start off with some quick stuff thats hard to follow before going to the indy staredown (PLEASE CHEER US). The crowd doesn't so Luchy just punches Card in the mouth, that's some Plan B. Luchy then misses a dropkick to the floor and immediately becomes FACE IN PERIL. Card follows up with come CANADIAN FOOT VIOLENCE and I laugh with glee! Card then wraps on the single Boston crab and wrenches away with it as Natasha swats IL's arm away from the ropes. The referee finally notices this after a while and breaks the hold as Luchy tries to hold his body together with paste. Card then goes for his reverse DDT but IL counters out and STEALS THE FINISHER for two. I love that game. Luchy then goes on a tear and gets a series of near falls with some moves the best of which would have to be a towering legdrop off the top. Luchy then hits his DDT but Natasha has the referee distracted. Luchy then sets himself up to get maced by the valet before taking the Cardiac Arrest for three. Match was there **

 

THE JAPANESE NAME THAT CANNOT BE is out to talk about WildChild and Pete... He's better than us, in case you didn't get the gimmick. Hydra says hello to his mom and that's nice.

 

Spike's back. And he wants to NAP! Unfortunately, he wants to nap in Johnny Dangerous' locker room. Johnny doesn't like that... badda bing badda boom... Spike makes a challenge for a ladder match. Say, didn't Spike already challenge someone tonight? Ho Ho Ho.

 

Snow Shovel Showdown! Daced and Confused vs. Fooog Fugue charges right into a powerslam to start us off, and that's just strange. But Fugue goes to the quicks and starts wearing Dace down with some low impact stuff. But wrestling isn't about to last in this match and Dace ends up eating chair a few times in the opening minutes of the match. Dace comes back with the Faithless and follows that with a Van Dacinator Mafia kick. But Fugue ain't about to just stand there and take it and goes to the Coda Bubba Bomb and a German Suplex to get back in control. A few shovel shots wear out Dace's back, but he still comes back to slam Fugue off the apron... I guess Fugue's 188 pounds wasn't heavy enough or something. But, nevertheless, Fugue comes back and attacks the lower lumbar once again only to get powerbombed out of his boots. The guys trade some spills into the chairs and stuff before Fugue finally captures Dace in the Major Chord. But Dace ain't no quitter, so Fugue just releases the hold and bashes Dace over the head with a chair for two. But Dace comes back once more with the Yakuza kick and a pair of brainbusters before choking Fugue out with a shovel... and thats that. Kind of a mindless brawl but it had energy to it. **1/2

 

Spike attacks Dace... Why is Spike all over this show? The guy couldn't win the opening match and now he's feuding with the entire roster?

 

And here's Spike again!!! GO AWAY DAMNIT!!! He meets Janus... and challenges him too! What the hell?

 

Fishheads, Johnny Fishheads vs. Janus... Just Janus Janus starts off no selling the clothesline to establish that he's a hoss and he's not selling that stuff. Janus goes right to the jaw and I hope that means Johnny is breaking out the blood capsules tonight. But before that can happen, Johnny pulls out a MONSTER belly-to-belly and starts dropping the elbows onto the J-man before going for the cover. But Janus kicks out and, still holding onto Johnny, stands up! Now there's a power display! But it doesn't go anywhere, as Johnny sneaks out the backdoor and takes the giant down with a tornado reverse DDT. But Janus comes back with a powerslam and goes for the JAW BREAKING LEG DROP OF FESTERING DOOM... but Johnny moves. Bastard. Johnny goes on the assault with some kicks and a corkscrew moonsault that the big guy actually sells! Good for him. But Johnny makes the mistake of a lifetime going for the rana and gets caught in a sit out powerbomb FROM HELL. But now Johnny says, I ain't selling that, HOW YOU LIKE IT? And goes to the Johnny Kick, but EATS BOOT~! Janus follows that up with The Dragon Suplex but they're in the ropes... so it's chokeslam time! Janus goes for the screwdriver but Johnny bails out and hits the Johnny Kick once again! And off the ropes he goes for the SPINNING FIST OF BRUCE LEE SPY DEATH! That gets two. But Janus comes back with the last ride ... but drops JOHNNY ON HIS F'N GORD! The three is a forgone conclusion. ***1/2

 

You know, what this show needs is MORE SPIKE. WildChild is the foil this time. Triple H has nothing on this guy.

 

THE JAPANEESE NAME THAT CANNOT BE & Tony Hydra vs. THE CHILD THAT IS WILD and Bookerman Puppystretching Pete ... When announcers and bookers collide! Ejiro starts off by breaking out "the Bookerman" comment that like 5 people will get in order to get WildChild into the ring. These two go at it for a bit, with WildChild working over Ejiro's arm with a few high flying moves and move #3392 ARM BAR. But Hydra cheapshots WC from the apron and allows Ejiro to take command with the bionic elbow. The heels start to work WC over and he is YOUR official FACE IN PERIL. He gets caught with a scoop slam into reverse DDT from Hydra and that gets 2. The heels just maul WildChild's head over and over again in pretty dull fashion until Hydra goes for a choke powerbomb and gets caught with a rana! But a superkick keeps WildChild from making the tag. Boy, they are sure making WildChild Ricky Morton tongiht, aren't they? Fasaki BURIES WildChild with a backdrop suplex, and I think we all know who'se finisher that used to be. Hydra misses a guillotine legdrop though and WildChild makes the tag and it is BONZO GONZO! LDP kicks the dog shit out of the heels and German Suplexes them to hell and back. Disposing of Hydra, LDP hits Fasaki with the Chaos Theory roll up into German Suplex and lets WildChild hit a flippy move off the top for the three and the title shot. Boy, way to put over the booker guys... **1/2

 

MOTHER F'N SPIKE IS BACK. He realizes that he's going to be facing half the roster next week and is none too pleased. Oh well... at least we can watch him get killed again and again.

 

And there you have it.

[Guest HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

Ejiro, you need to do that for every show. Why? Because you rule.

[Rawknight 0]

The comedy names of CRZ, the cliches of Keith... all you need is some out of place politically incorrect jokes and you could be Hyatte too.

 

More! More!

 

 

Rock on! *Makes devil signs*