Predict Royal Rumble Match Ratings

[Guest GameCop]

Hmmm, the 16th annual Royal Rumble doesn't look too promising on paper. Let's assess the following matches and the rating it'll probably garner:

 

- Scott Steiner vs. HHH -- this will probably be around 15 minutes long. *

 

- Angle vs. Benoit -- I forsee this being around 18 minutes. ***3/4 only because Angle's knee isn't truly 100% yet.

 

- Brock vs. Big Show -- probably be around 6 minutes. 1/2*

 

- Dawn vs. Torrie -- This and the angle that follows will be a whopping 20 minutes long. -****

 

- Dudleys vs. King Regal and Sir Lancelot - Definitely the opener; 8 minutes long. **1/4

 

- Royal Rumble match-- 34 minutes long. **1/2, which is the bare minimum for Royal Rumbles.

[Guest Mole]

Scott Steiner vs. Triple Juice - */Steiner wins

 

Angle vs. Benoit - ****/Angle wins

 

- Brock vs. Big Show - 1/2*/Brock wins

 

- Dawn vs. Torrie - *****/Dawn, I guess

 

- Dudleys vs. ReTorm - **/Dudleys win the title

 

- Royal Rumble match - ***/Booker T, going with the guy I wanna win, I can always hope

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

I get to pretend to be SK?

 

"La La La, I write on the internet. Buy me stuff. Buy my book. I tend to overrate things like Shawn Michael matches. Buy my book."

 

Ah, the many layers of Scott Keith...

 

So will Al Wilson interfere in the torrie/dawn marie match and was faking his death so he could get out of his marriage?

[Guest Downhome]

"La La La, I write on the internet. Buy me stuff. Buy my book. I tend to overrate things like Shawn Michael matches. Buy my book."

Oh my God, Mr. Keith, I am truly star struck. You are just so, so...

 

...wait...

 

...damn RavishingRickRudo, for a moment I thought you WERE Scott Keith!!!!!!!

[Guest Star Ocean 3]

I can eat alphabet soup and shit a better thread than this. DUD

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

Ok, here is what will happen.

 

The show will begin with Torrie Wilson going to her fathers grave "Earlier in the day" to tell her father that she is sorry and that she wants him to know, whereever he is, that she loves him and that she wants him to wish her luck. But as she gets to the grave she sees that the casket has been dug up and that there is no one inside. She looks around the cemetary with a confused look on her face.

 

During her match with Dawn Marie the lights grow dim, and the bell tolls. Is it the undertaker reborn? NO! It is AL WILSON RESURRECTED! THE SAVIOUR HAS RETURNED ON THE 3RD DAY! PRAISE BE TO THE MACK DADDY JESUS! And OH BOY is he angray~!

 

Dawn Marie looks on in astonishment while Torrie is smiling! Al gets on the mic and says "You betrayed me Dawn Marie. You Judas! Now it's time for Mr. Wilson to bring the judgement upon thee!" then flames begin to surround the ring ala an inferno match and Dawn Marie is striken down with a bolt of lightning. "Yeah, that's right bi-otch. That's not the first time something white hit you in the face! BOOYAH!" The lights go out and Dawn Marie disappears which leaves just Torrie and Al in the ring and they embrace in a hug. Al then explains that he faked his death to get out of his marriage with DM. That he had seen the light.

[Guest Downhome]

I STILL say, do not be suprised when the old school Taker returns at the Royal Rumble, only to raise Al Wilson from the dead to become his High Priest, or something stupid like that.

 

Folks, you heard it HERE first.

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

No no no, Al Wilson must be the higher power. Then he can carry around the urn and say "oh yes, my undertaker." in a very monotone voice. Then he can bring back katie vick and lead a growing army of the undead.

[Guest AndrewTS]

No no no, Al Wilson must be the higher power.  Then he can carry around the urn and say "oh yes, my undertaker." in a very monotone voice.  Then he can bring back katie vick and lead a growing army of the undead.

WWE's done stupider and more non-sensical things before.

 

However, the flaw with your idea: there's continuity there. Kane's already back to being Taker's younger deranged brother, saying he was torturing squirrels with a hacksaw or something again, hence the entire Katie Vick storyline could be considered to have never happened-uh...

 

So maybe it would be Taker's parents, even though he was never a dead man, which will bring that into doubt again when Taker comes back...

 

Man, even if they didn't fire that continuity guy in WWE, he would have shot himself in the head before long anyway.

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

- Scott Steiner vs. HHH -- HHH retains the title. -***

 

- Angle vs. Benoit -- Angle win, via evil heel deeds. ****

 

- Brock vs. Big Show -- Short. Brock wins. DUD

 

- Dawn vs. Torrie -- Long. Torrie wins. -*****

 

- Dudleys vs. King Regal and Sir Lancelot - About 10 minutes long. 1/4*, people have had more good luck with mixing oil and water than mixing brawlers like the Dudleys and technical guys like Regalstorm.

 

- Royal Rumble match-- 40 minutes long. Brock wins via nefarious works of HBK to eliminate Jericho after Jericho tosses him.

[Guest Will Scarlet]

- Scott Steiner vs. HHH -- I am going to go DUD here, bordering on negative stars. I will go with the safe pick and say Triple H wins.

 

- Angle vs. Benoit -- Angle wins, obviously. I will say this goes ****

 

- Brock vs. Big Show -- Brock wins. I will say 1/2*

 

- Dawn vs. Torrie -- This should go into negative stars, which is basically pick how many stars and attach a negative to it rating from what I have seen. *rolls dice* -***. Torrie wins here, of course.

 

- Dudleys vs. King Regal and Sir Lancelot - *1/2 - **, Regal and Storm win. Crowd doesn't care.

 

- Royal Rumble match-- Brock wins. Since, I am pretending to be SK, then I will just say "I don't rate battle royals."

[Guest nikowwf]

I think this is how Scott Keith actuall does it to save time on his rants.

 

With star ratings and predicted Scott quote.

 

- Scott Steiner vs. HHH - * Now can we get on with something interesting?

 

- Angle vs. Benoit - ***** Its Angle & Benoit.

 

- Brock vs. Big Show - * Good booking, Nothing Match.

 

- Dawn vs. Torrie - -** OH NO SCARY WOMEN GET THEM AWAY FROM ME!!!

 

- Dudleys vs. King Regal and Sir Lancelot - ** Decent little match, but crowd didn't care and neither did I.

 

- Royal Rumble match - **1/2 Better than I expected because they actually let JERICHO last almost the whole match. Now let's see how they screw this push up.

 

Overall, I give it a thumbs in the middle. Get the replay for the great Benoit / Angle match, and a decent rumble.

 

niko

[Guest FeArHaVoC]

Scott Steiner vs. HHH; ****1/2 Triple H wins with the Shooting Star Press

 

Angle vs. Benoit; DUD, Benoit tears his Quad 15 Seconds into the Match.

 

Brock vs. Big Show; ***1/4 Brock wins with the Texas Cloverleaf

 

Dawn vs. Torrie; *** Last minute it becomes a Burried Alive match, where Al Wilson will show up Alive & Well and cost Torrie the Match.

 

- Dudleys vs RegaL & Storm; ** Regal & Storm win when JR & Lawler cost The Dudley's the titles by joining Regal & Storm and becoming their new Managers. The Following week Coach and Lita take over Raw's Commentating Duties.

 

Royal Rumble; HBK Wins. Everything is going to as planned, HBK Superkicks Jericho into the 3rd row. Just when it looks like Brock is going to throw HBK over the top rope, Triple H runs down. Brock looks confused as if he forgot something, and HBK and Triple H throw him over the top.

 

Next Day on the Net' We find out it was a shoot and both Triple H and HBK pulled a Power Play and went behind Vince's and everyone else backs.

 

The 1Bob reports Vince is pissed and WILL be Punishment for Both.

 

That night on Raw, Jericho Gets Jobbed to Triple H and RVD gets Jobbed to HBK.

[Guest Choken One]

Fuck SK, Here is my thoughts.

 

Opening Match

WWE Tag Team Title Match

Dudley Boyz Vs Lance and William

 

-A solid if not lackuster opener, crowd was good for the final segment of the match. Again, WWE stupidity rears it's ugly head by keeping the titles on a unover team and not one of the most over in recent memory and no I am not talking about The Dudz, whose time has past. **.

 

Dawn Marie Vs Torrie Wilson

It never ends does it? The saga continues here, With the Debut of Torrie's long lost brother, Spanky Wilson. Spanky and Dawn start their Incest angle as Torrie watches in horror. As do We. -**.

 

World Title Match

Triple H Vs Scott Steiner

 

Color me shocked, A decent brawl between Triple H in his best non Clique match in ages with a Not as rusty as we thought Steiner. Sure, it was nowhere near H3-Foley 2000 but damn solid and H3's bladjob worked great. Steiner going over was a surprise to me. ***

 

Brock Lesnar Vs TBS

 

Talk about your meaningless match, Brock easily beats TBS at 8 minutes but with a Deadly assult from Team Angle and Heyman's Family, pretty much put Brock's rumble status in jeopardy. A great way of putting Haas and Benjamin over. *3/4

 

WWE Title Match

Kurt Angle Vs Chris Beniot

 

Wow. I didn't think they could top Unforgiven but they managed to do so, with actual drama. Giving these two 40 minutes was the best thing Vince done in ages. A great clean match with Angle getting the cheap pinfall. *****. Just perfect.

 

Royal Rumble

Welcome to the Jericho Show. See that Shawn? Yeah, THAT is the future, not you. Take a seat. Shawn might have been in the ring the whole time with Jericho, but the magic was flowing through the veins of Chris Jericho. However, a Rumble dominated by the Jericho/HBK storyline and the Brock injury slightly hurt the match but the match itself was solid dispite the not so acturate clock. Undertaker's return was the highlight of the night. We didn't get Rock or Austin but the Rumble featured the return of Rhyno whom was put over slightly as he appears to be in line for a Face push. Brock sold the injury well and Haas and Benjamin were really sold well here. The Surprising Final Six was neat (Jericho (2), HBK (1), Brock (23), Edge (16), Haas (19) and RVD (28) ) With Brock losing, they had the obvious final two we thought with Jericho/HBK but they did the 1992 spot HBK playing Hogan, RVD as Sid and Jericho as Flair. Great finish and good rumble ***3/4.

 

Overall: Thumbs up way up. A ***** match, Great rumble, a great Brawl and the crap was short.

[Guest Brian]

Then you have to account for a heel Jericho heading into WrestleMania as challenger. Jericho in Sid's roll, starting off a slick double turn, and Brock in Flair's only people will be pumped to see him win.

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

Jericho (Hogan) screws HBK (sid) is most likely since Jericho can't get a fuckin break and HHH would probably justify it to Vince saying "Well-uh, Jericho is going to win the feud anyways, so at least let Shawn get screwed." Plus Vince is an HBK mark.

 

However for the feud to really work HBK should be the one screwing Jericho so then Jericho can give HBK a moment of doubt which is really integral in a feud where the heel wins.

[Guest Goodear]

- Scott Steiner vs. HHH -- * Will probably be a Hogan-Warrior style match were both guys s...l...o...w...l...y trade basic offense and do a lot of test of strength type of things. I'll predict HHH and expect an Austin return to lead to his mext feud as Steiner faces... I don't know... Batista?

 

- Angle vs. Benoit -- *** I would have to suspect that Angle's injury will slow these two down from their usual wrestling clinic. I would also expect to see like 7 German suplexes that mean nothing and Angle totally ignoring the knee injury when he goes for the ankle pick. Angle should roll through to Wresltemania undefeated.

 

- Brock vs. Big Show -- * Brock better win but this is the WWE where stupid things happen. It will be short and over quickly with the F5... then expect a Team Angle beat down to lead to "How will Brock compete later on tonight?"

 

- Dawn vs. Torrie -- DUD Torrie wins and the feud continues. FOREVER.

 

- Dudleys vs. Regal/Lance -- *1/2 Regal and Lance will retain, proving once and for all that announcers are the true powers in the wrestling world. No one will care about the match though.

 

- Royal Rumble match -- *** Brock wins to continue the roll to Wrestlemania and freeing up Triple H for Austin's return without exposing Austin here in a situation that would probably waste his comeback buyrate.

[Guest Brian]

I really am starting to believe that Triple H and Vince are using Shawn to put over Jericho since a) he never would; b) Milk what little they have with Shawn; and c) Build up Jericho as Triple H's next opponent at main event level. So Jericho instills this sense of doubt, almost jealousy in Shawn. Shawn takes him out, setting up the double turn down the line. Lesnar gets the inevitable win, but at that point when it comes down to those three they see Shawn and Jericho asl egitimate threats and Lesnar's win means more.

 

There's no real reason to have RVD in there.

[LooseCannon25 0]

Here are my Scott Keith ratings:

 

Royal Rumble Match ---- I believe it will be Brock, Jericho, and HBK as the final 3 in the rumble with HBK and JEricho eliminating each other and Brock taking the Rumble. I don't rate battle royals!

 

HHH vs. Scott Steiner --- In the battle of bad workers with roid rage i predict HHH losing by DQ possibly with interference from the nature boy , but keeping his title for Steiner to win down the road. I think these 2 will unfortunately get about 15 minutes. I see the match getting * at the most. Possibly 5 hot pokers up the ass for putting these 2 giant slowbags together.

 

Brock vs. Big Show --- I see no way in Big Show winning this and keeping Brock from the Rumble so i see Brock going over with perhaps some help from Undertaker about 5 minutes into this one. Possibly *1/2.

 

Angle vs. Benoit ----- Aaaah, a match I can never get tired of. They better give these 2 guys at least 20 minutes to tell their story and I believe Angle will go over with some help from Team Angle. It should be in the range of **** to ****1/2 if it's what i expect.

 

Torrie vs. Dawn Marie. --- I can't possible find someone who gives a rats ass about this one. blah blah blah blah, and Torrie goes over Dawn for the 27th consecutive time in the last few months. R.I.P Al, hopefully this crap ends at the Rumble. DUD and 15 hot pokers up the ass for putting this crap on yet ANOTHER PPV.

 

Dudley Boys vs. Storm/Regal ---- I actually see this match being pretty entertaining with Storm and Regal cheating to win. IT's just too early for them to lose the titles and I think they're saving the Dudley's title win for MAnia perhaps. If given any time it could be **1/2 to ***.

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

RVD will be in there as a token wrestler. The WWF trying to make it seem like it wasn't completely obvious that Brock would win...

 

Brock should eliminate SOMEONE to finish the rumble. For HBK to eliminate Jericho and leave Brock for the automatic win would be so anti-climatic. The last 6 will probably be: Batista, RVD, Albert, Shawn, Jericho, Brock. And will finish will either have Heyman Family Member vs. Brock OR Raw member vs. Brock. Either way I could easily see Team Angle running in (illegally) and Brock tossing em over.

 

The way I see it Vince is pro-shawn and anti-jericho. He loves HBK and does his damnest to reinforce what a 'legend' hbk was (even though he wasn't on par -or anywhere near the scoreboard -with Hogan or Austin). HBK is Vince's favourite performer, period. Jericho, on the other hand, has been getting the shits end of the stick from day one. Hell, he just held the IC title so Kane could beat him just so HHH could beat Kane! There really is no reason to believe that they would put Jericho in such a commanding position in this feud since they haven't before.

 

Besides, Jericho vs. HHH won't happen for a LONG while. My money is on Edge in the blonde canadian face role.

[Guest nikowwf]

SK rates Rumbles.

 

niko

[Guest Brian]

I see it more of a Shawn starts pulling him when Jericho gets momentum and Brock does the clothesline knocking Jericho over. See, HHH just needs a challenger down the line after he's finished with Steiner and Austin. And he's put over nmext to no one on RAW so who does he have left?

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

That's why you import Edge.

 

I'd see it more like Jericho eliminates Shawn and starts to walk around the ring and strut and generally mock HBK, Shawn gets pissy, and pulls him out when Jericho leans over the ropes to mock him some more.

 

IF it went that way.

 

It will probably be: Shawn ducks Jericho and Jericho goes over. Jericho makes the cry baby face while Shawn prances around the ring. Jericho brings in a steel chair, misses Shawn, but is then able to get Shawn out of the ring and they brawl to the back.

 

Or they could just double-eliminate each other.